Eva
by ClubLulu333
Summary: Eva Coulter has spent her life in Dauntless knowing nothing other than the life her father has created for her. Everything changes when it's her turn to choose a faction, and she has to survive not only her uncle training her, but her complicated relationship with one Adam Eaton. Adam x Eva
1. Chapter 1

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for encouraging & editing this story!

Just a few notes:

1- All rights to characters and places in the Divergent series belong to Veronica Roth. All original characters and the plot of the story that does not directly mirror events in the Divergent series belong to me. All associated rights reserved, no translations into other languages or re-posting on other websites is permitted without my express written consent.

2-This story will be updated on Fridays! I will do my best to get it up as early as I can, but it could be any time on Friday.

3-These chapters will be much shorter than The Training and The Initiation, for my own sanity and Bamberlee's. As much fun as writing 55 pages in two days was, I don't think I can keep up that pace again.

4-This story will only make sense if you have read The Training and/or The Initiation. If you have not read either of those, I'd recommend starting there, because this plot and these characters are not in Divergent and therefore won't be recognizable. I mean, you can read this if you want, but it'll be way better if you know what's going on! (As well as who the other characters are.)

5-Eva is not Everly and Adam is not Four, and their relationship definitely isn't Eric and Everly's. I just wanted to put that out there before anyone thinks it'll be the same as the previous stories. These two have their own unique relationship, and Adam isn't training Eva in anyway lol.

6-Please enjoy! Obviously, this isn't Eric and Everly, so if no one reads it my soul will not be crushed lol.

7-Happy Reading!

* * *

At some point, Adam Eaton does not like me.

I'm not quite sure when it happened. I couldn't pinpoint the exact moment our friendship turned from spending every minute of our lives together to him flat out glaring at me in sheer disgust.

Maybe it was my birthday party. Maybe it was my father, standing behind me while I blew the eight candles out on my birthday cake. Maybe it was his father, smiling at me while he held onto his wife's hand, having celebrated every single one of these birthdays with us. Maybe it was his mother, beaming at my mom, knowing that when this was all said and done, and the rest of our party guests had left, they'd sit and have coffee and catch up as though they didn't see each other every single day and Adam would be stuck here with her.

Maybe it was because Adam wasn't thrilled to be here, with all my friends and none of his. Maybe it was the shrieking girls, so excited to be invited over because not many people had been to our apartment, or maybe it was the way they elbowed him out of the way, vying for a closer spot to watch as my uncle tried to convince my father that we should have done this on the roof and even offering to help escort everyone up there.

Whatever it is, he scowls at me from beneath hair long overdue for a haircut, and I ignore him.

It had been going on for a week now, these grimaced glances in my direction, and both my mom and his assured me he'd simply get over it one day.

I smile at him as my father steps forward so he can bend down to hug me while I make a wish. My dad holds on tightly, and I hear him tell me to make it a good one.

I do.

I blow out the candles all at once, and Adam scowls even harder.

* * *

It wasn't always like this.

Once upon a time, or so I was told, I spent all my free time with Adam. I would say it wasn't by choice, but turns out, it sort of was. Since the day I had met him, he and I refused to be separated.

It made no real sense, and it had driven my father insane.

I liked this story, because when my mother told me, she grinned as though he never had a choice but to accept this fact. When I was older, I would learn that my mother and father had a pretty interesting relationship, and most of our faction was deeply invested in how it turned out. My father had apparently married my mother while he was training her, which sounded scandalous when one considered he was a Leader here, and while people were eventually happy for them, or even amused by what he'd done, no one thought it would last.

My mother was nice.

He was mean.

Not to me, never.

But to the faction he oversaw. As one of the head Leaders, my father ran it with a military precision designed to keep everyone in line. Most found his methods harsh or even unnecessary, but fortunately for everyone, he was balanced out by the other Leaders.

Including Adam's father.

I had heard that he and my dad didn't like each other, but once they had Adam and I, they sort of forgot whatever it was they were fighting about. To the surprise of everyone, they had been on good terms for years now. They both worked as Leaders of the faction, along with the men who were my unofficial official godfathers and uncle. I had a real uncle in Amity, but here, I had too many people to look out for me.

Including Adam.

From the time we were little, really little, like I was days old and Adam was only a few months old, we were destined to become best friends. My father had once told me it was Eden's doing. That she'd put a hex on me, dooming me to never be rid of Adam. He said this with a smirk on his face, and my mother usually smacked him at some point and told him to knock it off.

But it wasn't too far off. According to my mother and Mrs. Eaton, Adam and I hated to be separated. We liked to be right by each other, often falling asleep at the same time, and spending most of our first few years together. This continued when we eventually attended the prestigious preschool academy my father forced the faction to start. He wasn't happy with just a normal daycare, so Adam and I got to attend an entirely different one, with us as the only two students. From a young age, we got to do all sorts of things the other toddlers weren't doing. Cool things. While being terrified I might die, my father was still very much Eric Coulter, and that meant Adam and I got trained like we'd be having our own initiation once we turned three.

Eventually the word got out, and the enrollment picked up when parents figured out that our preschool was a little more than story time and crackers.

Still, Adam and I stuck together. I refused to take a nap unless I was by him, and half the time, we fell asleep on the same mat. I had never really slept alone, and in the cold, dark nap room, I wasn't about to start. So I always stayed by Adam. He was safe. He was my best friend, the one who I shared my juice with when he drank all his, and the only one who was tall enough to reach the top of the tower of blocks I made. He was faster than the other kids, he didn't let anyone be mean to me, and he even patiently sat and colored with me even though he thought it was boring.

Our friendship continued through kindergarten. First grade. Second grade. Third grade brought a bunch of new friends for both of us, and our time was suddenly split. I saw him all the time with my parents, but at school, things were different. He was more inclined to play with them, for they did far more adventurous and rough games than I wanted to play, and my friends and I were deemed too uninteresting for them to sit with us.

I wasn't entirely uninteresting. It hadn't taken long for me to figure out people either thought I was mean, which I wasn't, or that I was too nice and I'd give them whatever they wanted. Which I didn't. I liked all kinds of games, including jumping off the large jungle gym and swings, and balancing on the rocks and seeing how far I could go before I fell. I liked it just as much as I liked reading and just as much as I liked staying home and watching TV with my dad.

So when Adam found it far more fun to hang out with the boys, I didn't care.

I rolled my eyes at him, because I kind of did care, and I think he did, too. Sometimes I would accidentally catch him looking at me, but when he realized I was, he'd make a face and look away.

It didn't bother me, until one day, one of his new friends pushed me right out of the way to get to him, right into the rockiest part of the wall. Adam turned around when I shrieked, but it was more the fact that my head was bleeding, and I knew what this meant.

It meant someone was going to die, because my father would not be happy with this news.

I was right.

Adam's new friend never returned to our class, and he blamed me.

* * *

"Are you going to pick Amity?"

He looks at me, his stare so intense that most would look away, but I shrug and continue retoasting my toast.

"Maybe."

"Evangelina Coulter, tell me you aren't picking somewhere else."

My father says the words darkly, staring at me like he might throw the toaster over the counter if I don't agree to stay in Dauntless.

Anyone else would be terrified of him. He was scary looking if you didn't know him; his hair was a darker blonde than what I'd seen in the photos of him, and it was still cut and parted like he thought he was cool. He sometimes wore glasses, and he always wore black. Most people saw him in his uniform, the heavy material buttoned all the way up and his boots shiny and heavy, but I saw him at home. In his t-shirts and pajama pants, yelling into his phone about how someone had left the gate open and now we had factionless kids playing in front of Dauntless.

He wasn't scary to me.

"Why? You don't like Amity? I thought you loved it there," I laugh at the last part, and he tilts his head with an unimpressed frown. He knows I'm kidding, and I like to see how mad he could get before he called me by my full name.

But he'd already said it so my game was mostly over.

"I could live with Grandma and Grandpa. He said he'd teach me how to hunt wild boars."

"There are no wild boars in Amity. You sound like Rylan," my father answers hotly, and he crosses his arms over his chest. He's dressed for work, but he's been following me around the kitchen making sure I don't burn it down. "Your grandfather is…" he stops, and I smile up at him, handing him the butter I'd been using. "He's fine but I just…"

He stops completely and I know he can't say it.

He wants me to stay here. He's told me this since I could understand what he was saying. At one point, Rylan the Godfather had made me a slide show about why I should stay in Dauntless versus Amity, and I had to watch it until I agreed. I had been three at the time, and my mother was not happy when she found out he was using this propaganda to make sure I didn't ever pick the Amity faction.

"Relax. I'm going to pick Dauntless. I can't be stuck in Amity when you have a heart attack when I don't answer my phone."

My father stares at me, and his lips turn up in the slightest. He's trying not to smile, either in triumph that I'll pick Dauntless or at my joke, but he looks pleased.

"Okay and you promise me you won't change your mind? Not even if Adam ignores you for the rest of your life?"

It's my turn to frown, for this was a very sore spot for me.

Turns out having your best friend of sixteen years tell you you were annoying wasn't the sort of thing that made anyone feel good. He said it while I picked out my lunch, skipping over half the stuff that was made in search of a salad with some chicken, and I found myself staring at him in confusion. We'd both grown up eating in our apartments and not down here, so I found the food to be…interesting. I wasn't sure why it was annoying, that I didn't want to eat the plate of floating mystery meat or the weird, plant protein sandwiches, but Adam snickered when he said it, and so did his friends. I glared at him, took my salad, and left.

That night, he got in trouble.

The best part of living in Dauntless was that I had not only my family, but my extended family. I had my unofficial uncles who were close enough that they might as well have just been my uncles, as well as the Eaton family. There was Arlene, now retired but still hanging around Dauntless to make sure I made it to my eighteenth birthday alive. Quinten, who still oversaw the kitchens but at a less intense schedule. Christian, who sent me piles of clothing whenever he felt like it. Which was often. My Aunt Christina who had eventually married my Godfather in a lavish, three day celebration, single handedly making them the most dramatic couple in Dauntless.

It was also the only downside.

There had been so many times when I was caught somewhere I wasn't supposed to be by one of them. Rylan yanked me back from the chasm so hard I nearly had whiplash. Karl refused to let me go outside when it was raining, because I might catch a cold and my dad would be mad. Jason wouldn't let me have any coffee until I was twelve, because he said it would stunt my growth. That was a lost cause, but he refused to back down, not even when I pointed out everything here had caffeine in it.

There were others.

The guards, who knew who I was.

The teachers in our school, who definitely knew who my father was.

And the people who worked in the control room, watching my every move.

So it was no surprise to me when Adam's father marched him over to the apartment that night, and made him apologize for being rude.

I immediately felt bad. I didn't want Adam to be in trouble, and I knew he and his friends were just being idiots. It hadn't taken me long to figure out that, shockingly, Adam had had a stricter upbringing than I did and he was slowly starting to grow annoyed with it. While my father liked to pretend he'd lose his mind if I went outside, he rarely said no to things that my peers were doing. I was allowed to go zip lining when I was ten. I was allowed to ride in the trucks with Karl when I was twelve. At thirteen, I got my ears and nose pierced, only to discover I hated both. At fourteen he taught me how to shoot a gun, and at fifteen, he let me accompany him to Erudite just because.

It was the other stuff that made him nervous.

He didn't like that I could get hurt or that someone might hurt me. I wasn't allowed to play capture the flag, ever. He never let me walk with Jason down to the lower levels when he arranged a ghost hunting night. And he forbid my grandpa to let me go hunting with him, especially during the winter.

He also didn't like any of the boys who liked me.

My mother insisted he'd ease up, that he was more dramatic than anyone in our faction knew. I could see him tense up when I mentioned I was meeting some friends for coffee before school, and he practically demanded the blood type of the one brave soul who had asked if I could come over for dinner sometime.

But nothing happened.

No one dared ever try anything, because if they did, they'd have the Leader of Dauntless watching their every move. Probably assigned people to follow them. Making the control room look for them on the security cameras.

I was cursed. No one would want to date me because they weren't brave enough to handle my dad.

Still, Adam's parents were more worried than mine. They were constantly trying to make sure he was good, and not just behavior wise. They wanted him to be a good person, which I think he was, deep down somewhere. They had raised him to be polite and kind, looking out for others and always being a decent human being. But he reacted by rebelling in every way possible, including sneaking out even though someone was bound to let his dad know.

They still tried.

Which was why he was forced to mumble an apology at me and tell me I wasn't annoying.

He stared at me while he said it, his eyes dark and unamused, and I smiled.

Sweetly.

I looked up at him from my seat on the couch, and I smiled because I knew it was killing him. If his friends saw him like this, forced over in his pajamas to apologize to me, they'd never let him live it down. While that stung, knowing that I was a form of embarrassment for him, it was the only satisfaction I got.

"I'm sorry, what? I didn't hear you." I widen my eyes innocently, and he narrows his. To think I used to give him half my pretzels whenever he finished his in kindergarten was mind blowing. "You're not going to be in class tomorrow?"

"I said…I'm sorry. I'm sorry I said you were annoying in an attempt to…make fun of you for eating a salad." Adam grates the words out, and at sixteen, he is taller than his father. He looks like an overgrown man child and he doesn't even flinch when my father walks by to watch the spectacle. He would normally be furious over someone acting like this, but I assumed my mother had already warned him it was being handled.

Because it was.

Adam's own father looks at me pleadingly, silently asking if I'll gracefully accept his sulky son's faux remorse.

I do.

Because Adam's mother is there, too, and she looks incredibly unhappy.

"It's fine. I understand. No hard feelings." I uncurl my feet from beneath me, and Mrs. Eaton relaxes. I get the feeling Adam is a huge point of stress for her these days, and there's a smugness in the fact that I am not. At least, I don't think I am. "I'll see you tomorrow, Adam."

I stop in front of him, and he looks down at me, wanting to say something mean. There's probably nothing he'd like to say more than that he won't see me since he'll be with his friends, and I wouldn't be insulted. After all, I had my own friends.

But he doesn't.

He looks at me, really looks at me, until he averts his stare completely and his parents escort him home.

* * *

"He's hot, isn't he?"

My friend Kat looks at me with widened eyes and she waits for me to agree. "Eva?"

"Who?" I glance around the mess hall quickly, trying to figure out who the subject of Kat's newest obsession was. Last week, it had been Gunner. The kid with two nose rings and an unfortunate rat tail. The week before that, it was Gunner's friend Aja. I guess he was hot, but he was so obsessed with working out that he barely looked away from his reflection. "TJ?"

"No. I mean, _yes_, he is hot. But it's not him I'm talking about." Kat leans in, and her eyes flick over to TJ. His father was the head of the kitchen staff, a huge lumbering man who reminded me a whole lot of my father. There was a rumor he'd been adopted by Quinten along with his sister, but Quinten was ferocious if anyone dared think his son didn't belong here. He was also ferocious if you critiqued his food. "There!"

She points across the room just as our friend Pink sits down. She looks confused, her pink mohawk extra tall today, and her expression changes to pure horror when it lands back on me.

"Adam? Isn't he like…engaged to this one here?"

I shake my head no right as Kat shrieks.

"I thought you guys didn't talk anymore? I thought…you hated the idea that people thought you would marry him!" Kat looks betrayed, as though the incredibly not funny joke that I would one day marry Adam hadn't been brought up five thousand times since I'd been born.

Adam and Eva.

It started in first grade, when the teachers figured out that this adorable gag was even cuter when the two friends were actually glued to each other's side. It kept going, too. Adam was jokingly listed as my emergency contact at school and was once called in when I hit my head on the water cooler. He and I walked home together that day, and he held my hand as though he thought I'd fall down the stairs. It was nice, until one of our teachers saw us while walking down the hallway, and she snapped a photo on her phone.

But it didn't last. The joke had worn thin by the time Adam decided I wasn't cool enough for him and his unwashed hair, and he gagged when people asked about me.

"We don't. He doesn't like me. Probably because everyone reminds him that one day we're supposed to get married." I point out, taking a slow bite of my cereal. My father didn't like it when I ate down in the mess hall, but he and my mother had been staring at each other in a vomit inducing way, so I'd politely excused myself and come down here. "He's all yours."

"Are you sure your parents didn't make a blood pact? Or like, made you two promise that you'd marry each other if you never got married?" Pink is the voice of logic, but unfortunately, it's lost in a sea of obnoxious high fives and jeers as Adam's friends arrive.

"If they did, it's officially canceled." I announce, watching Adam smirk at his friend as he walks over to the table full of muffins. The guy takes six of them, then tries to juggle them before someone yells for him to take a plate already. "Adam and I haven't spoken at all. He didn't even come to my birthday because he…" I pause, and he turns and looks right at me when I speak. "He wasn't feeling well."

"Oh, well that's shitty." Kat grins, missing the fact that Adam is still looking at me. "I bet that was a lie."

It was a lie.

Everyone knew it, even his parents.

They were just too nice to say anything else.

I let it go. I celebrated with my friends, in Clyde's, and we all took turns taking our photos beneath the giant creatures that my grandfather had hunted. Pink pretended one had gotten her by her hair, and Kat posed under the thing with large antlers. I stood next to the one labeled _Yeti_, and my dad had rolled his eyes as my friends posed me like the thing was hugging me.

It was fun. We weren't exactly allowed in the bar, but they had made an exception. Adam and I had been going there with our parents for years, and they let us because who was going to tell Eric no. The answer was no one. They let us take up all the booths, brought out a huge cake, and my mother and Mrs. Eaton had decorated. Christina brought a million presents, and she and Rylan arranged nearly all the photos ops for us.

I wouldn't have wanted to celebrate any other way, but I had to admit, it felt weird that Adam wasn't there. Even if he didn't like me.

He still doesn't like me. In fact, he's staring and I wonder if it's because Pink is glaring at him in my defense.

"It's fine. It was cute when we were little, but it's not cute anymore. But I'll tell you what, he would be so mad to know that his mom thinks he's acting out. His mother claims he's much nicer than he lets on."

The words make me laugh, because Adam _was_ acting out. He wanted to break away from his parents, and I would bet he was counting down the minutes until the choosing ceremony. There was no doubt he'd choose Dauntless, and I bet he'd do just fine.

"Well, he's gotten really hot. I don't remember him being that tall." Kat sighs, and I laugh.

"He is tall. I'll agree with that." I finish my cereal, and Pink nudges me with her arm.

"Wanna walk to home a new way? I found out where all the soldiers take their smoke breaks."

"Sure," I agree easily, because it's better than sitting here and watching Kat drool over Adam. "Kat, want to come?"

"No thanks. I have a great view right here." Kat answers, waving her hand at us. She unabashedly stares at Adam, but he's paying no attention to her.

His stare returns to me, and he only looks away when his friend hits him on the side of his head with a muffin.

* * *

"Are you sure you aren't tired? Or hungry? Thirsty?"

My father watches me zip up the hoodie that was once his. It's old and so worn that it's thinner than will provide any real warmth, but I don't care. It smells like him, and I like that it's big enough that I feel like I could hide in it.

"No, Dad I'm fine. I'm just going for a walk. I'll be back in less than an hour." I promise, but he doesn't move. He just stares at me until he finally shrugs.

"Okay, but it's dark out there…"

"I'm going to the roof. I'll be back before you've taken a shower." I grin, and I gesture to my mother when she stops beside him. "Besides, Mom will keep you company. She loves when you yell at the TV."

"I do. You get so worked up over your shows. Especially the serious ones," my mom grins at him, sliding her arm around his waist and rising up on her toes to kiss his cheek. They were an unusual sight in Dauntless, and I get why people wondered about them. My mother was super pretty. Far prettier than most members here, and far younger than my friend's mothers.

She was also hopelessly in love with my dad, and people never failed to tell me how he'd married her when she was eighteen because he loved her that much. It was romantic, but also weird. I'd asked her once if she really liked him that much back then, but her gaze got all soft and distant and gross and I knew she had. Even now, she smiles up at him, and he smiles down at her and it's like they've forgotten I exist.

"You two have fun. Text me when it's safe to come home." I'm half joking, but not really. There was a good chance they'd hightail it to their bedroom, and I'd rather pretend my mother was going to bed and my dad was going to wash his hair and call it a night. "I won't be long."

I say the last part warningly, and they both laugh.

They also both let me leave, and I'm grateful for this. While most Dauntless parents were pretty easy going with their kids, most would tell their kids they couldn't go out this late. Mostly so they themselves could go out.

But mine are fine with it, and I silently hope no one in the control room is really watching tonight.

* * *

He meets me there after thirty minutes.

He's late, but that could have been anything. A struggle to get past his mom and dad, a guard stopping him just because, or maybe he didn't really want to come up here.

After all, it was cold out here.

My leggings and hoodie weren't super warm, and neither were the shoes I'd thrown on. But I sat here, on the ledge of the roof, watching lazy clouds roll through the black sky.

"Sorry, my uh, my dad wanted to talk. Something about…something stupid about school and doing well and how he was hoping I pick a good faction or something. I don't know, I wasn't listening." He stops, and hoists himself up onto the ledge, swinging his legs over to face me. "Eva, aren't you cold?"

"No," I shake my head at Adam, and he pushes his hair out of his eyes. His mother had been pleading with him to cut it, but he refused. He reminded me of Rylan, who annoyed his wife by refusing to cut his hair, and the two of them were constantly flipping it out of their eyes. "But I'm glad you made it. I thought maybe you wouldn't."

He nods, and his eyes hold mine.

We had been coming up here for years.

First as infants.

Then as toddlers. My dad liked to let me walk along the ledge while he held onto me with a death grip. I was never afraid, and it was because I knew he'd never let me fall.

As little kids, we'd play hide and seek up here, and sometimes, there were parties where we got to sit and drink hot chocolate while our parents sat around bonfires and gossiped until the early morning.

Now, the rooftop was usually deserted. It was always quiet, and the few cameras that were up here had long ago died. I knew all this, because Rylan told me and he winked when he added it was a great make out spot.

"I…I don't hate you. I just…my friends…no one shuts up about the names and it just…even my mom is like how's Eva? Where's Eva? I couldn't get away from you if I tried."

My stomach turns over at his words, because his expression is pretty miserable.

Mine must be, too.

He kicks my foot and shakes his head. "I don't mean it like that. I feel like everything I do hurts your feelings lately."

I look up at him in surprise, and I brush my bangs out of my eyes. My mother had cut them, thinking they'd look great. Instead, they fell into my eyes more often than not, and I was left hoping they'd just grow out.

"Yeah well, you don't even talk to me anymore so my feelings can't be that hurt," I point out, watching him stare at the dark sky.

He looks uncomfortable, and I know why.

This was our last meeting up here and it was going kind of crummy.

We'd come up here before every school year, no matter how angry we were at each other. There were a few awkward times when the meeting was brief. One time he only stayed for a single minute, mumbling that he was fine, and to have a good life. One year he stayed for two hours, and we caught up over everything we'd missed. It felt good, but our reunion was short lived. When school started, he was suddenly too busy with his friends to say hi, and I was too busy fending off people who wanted to know if I'd ever take them to see my dad's office.

But these past years were okay. We met up because we always had, and it would have been wrong not to.

"Yeah," Adam exhales heavily, and his eyes turn back to the sky. "It's just…I don't know. Are you picking Dauntless?" I don't answer him, and he kicks me again. "Eva?"

"Yeah, I already told my dad. He's worried I'll pick Amity." I smile at the memory of his horrified face, and I realize Adam and I have the same, black and white shoes on, both tied with black laces. "You? Are you picking here or Abnegation?"

I try to say the last part without laughing, because it was the bane of his existence when people suggested he might choose there. His grandparents were there, but he would never choose such a bleak existence.

"Do you remember when we learned about the factions and you said going to Abnegation would be the worst punishment ever? And our teacher was so mad at you?"

"Yeah," Adam laughs, and for the first time in forever, he smiles. It's a real smile, not the smirky one he gave his friends when they did something they believed to be hilarious, or the one he flashed his dad to get away with something. But a real smile, and it's the first time I've seen him look this happy in a while. "And you told her Amity had horses and your grandpa instead of answering her question about their agriculture."

"Well, to be fair, no one ever took me there to check out the agriculture." I smile back at him and the memory of that day, because we hadn't even been paying attention when she called on us. We were too busy glaring at each other, and that somehow made our answers even funnier.

"Eva, are you…you're sure you'll pick Dauntless?"

"Yeah, I'm fully prepared to kick your ass. I just trained with my dad last week," I half joke, and Adam rolls his eyes.

"Nice try, pipsqueak. You have to be taller than five foot one to make it here."

"Rude," I answer him, but I can't help but laugh. I stood no chance of being any taller than I was. When I was little, I kept waiting to catch up to him. Adam kept getting taller and taller, and there was a brief minute when I neared his shoulders. But then he suddenly was much taller than me, and I seemed to stop growing completely. "Maybe I'll ask my dad to start a height restriction."

"You do that," Adam snickers, and his smile falters when his phone vibrates. He pulls it out from the pocket of the hoodie he has on, and he frowns. I sit there while he scrolls through the message, a lengthy one, and then he shoves it in his pocket. "I gotta go. My parents were in a weird mood and I told them I was going to buy a snack. My mom is like…where are you? How are the apples? Are you on your way back?"

I nod, swinging my legs back over the edge. Adam's mother was one of my favorite people in the world, but I understood what he felt like. The constant surveillance could feel oppressive, even overwhelming at times. "You should go back before she comes looking for you." I then stand up, balancing carefully on the wide ledge. "I should go, too. I hate having to set an alarm for tomorrow."

Adam doesn't say anything. He watches with a funny look on his face, and he frowns when I take a step away. "Eva, get down. You're going to fall."

"I am not. I'm fine." I answer, glancing down briefly. The ground is far beneath me, lost in the darkness between the buildings. "I've never fallen."

I say the words right as an alarm goes off. It's obnoxiously loud, blaring through the compound to alert everyone of some security threat. Down below, I can hear soldiers calling out orders as they run out, and there's a second loud siren that wails as the gates slowly open up. But rather than alert me of anything, it catches me off guard, and I stumble.

For the first time in my entire life, I trip over my own feet.

My whole world flashes before my eyes, and I suddenly regret not having that second cupcake as dessert.

I fall, until Adam reaches to grab me, and both of us hit the roof hard.

"Fuck," I mumble, sitting up and rubbing my elbow. I'd landed to the side of him, gracelessly, and my whole arm hurt. "Adam, I'm so sorry."

"I told you," he answers sharply, and his fleeting good mood is gone. "I was worried…" He stops when I look at him, and he shoves himself to his feet. "You know what, I gotta go."

"Okay," I stand up too, feeling unsteady on my own feet. "Thanks for saving my life."

"Yeah," Adam takes a step back, and he ducks his head down. Then he suddenly takes a step forward, and when I look up, he's towering over me. "Eva, I…"

I wait for him to continue, and I use the opportunity to really look at him. Kat's words ring in my ears from earlier, and I would bet my father's salary she'd commit actual murder to be standing where I was. Adam is much taller than me, and he takes up all the free space around us. For once, his hair is washed and not totally in his eyes. He smells nice, and his shoe kicks mine as he steps forward, so close that I almost step back.

I never realized he was this tall, or this intense looking.

"I uh…I got you something. For your…birthday. I know you think I didn't go on purpose, but I was sick. I felt really sick." Adam speaks quickly, and he reaches into his pocket. "I wanted to give it to you myself."

I stare up at him, totally confused.

For the past few years, he had seemed irritated by the very sight of me. He seemed to hate my existence, all because of our names. He made it a point to let me know he didn't want to be around me, and in fact, he'd even straight up told me to go find my own friends.

But now, he's so close that I can feel him breathing, and he sucks in a long breath when his fingers touch mine.

"Did your dad make you buy this?" I blurt out, tightening my grip on the small box he's handed me. I can't even begin to think of what it could possibly be, other than a dead rat or something someone had found in the basement. Something mean, to let me know that he really didn't want anyone to ever say our names together.

"No," he doesn't look insulted, but there's a flash of disappointment on his face. "I saw it and I thought of you. But I guess… it won't make up for anything. Either way, I just…just know I hope you pick Dauntless."

My lips part open to thank him, but the alarm continues to go off. It goes off again, louder, and Adam backs away from me, quickly telling me he'll see me later. He leaves me standing there, alone, clutching the small box to my chest.

I don't open it, because a second after he vanishes down the stairs, my phone rings, and my father demands I return home immediately.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter!

Thank you all soooo much to everyone who already reviewed! I'm honestly shocked. I figured everyone would pretty much be done, and I posted the story with pretty low expectations. So thank you, thank you, thank you! I was totally blown away. 💙💛❤ I hope you continue to read and review!

Have a lovely weekend! Happy Friday!🌟

* * *

"Are you going to open it?"

My mother sits on my bed, barefoot and cross legged, watching me pick out something to wear to school. "It's been sitting there forever."

She keeps talking, rearranging herself to look more and more casual. She's trying her best not to be nosy, and she usually does a fantastic job. She'd grown up with more siblings than I could ever imagine, so it made sense that I had none. This meant that she often let me have as much privacy and alone time as I needed. Anyone else might have used it to do something deviant, but I mostly took a nap or read or messaged Pink and Kat.

"I don't know. Part of me wants to know what it is, and the other part thinks it's a joke." I answer my closet, rifling through the clothes to find what I'm looking for. I had plenty of clothes to choose from, and my father never once told me I couldn't buy anything. But I was torn between wearing one of the dresses I'd bought, or just throwing on leggings and calling it a day.

"Eva…"

I turn around to look at my mother, and she smiles.

Widely.

"I'm not opening it now." I tell her, and her smile falters. She looks just like my father, mildly deterred but unwilling to give up. "It's probably nothing. I don't want to go to school feeling stupid because I opened an empty box. Why do you care, anyway? You told me Adam was just being dumb."

"Well, he is. I know from experience guys are dumb when they like you. Your father could barely tell me where to get the chocolate cake when I first got here."

"I can assure you it has nothing to do with him liking me." I turn to throw her one scathing look, and she ignores me.

"So if you could just open it, that would be great. Because Tris and I are dying to know what's inside it."

"So _that's _why you're in here! Because you and Tris want to open it." I glare at her, and I grab the first dress my fingers touch. "Now I'm never opening it."

"Evangelina Coulter…" My mother threatens, and she sits up straight. "Just open it already. He made the effort even if it wasn't a good effort."

I pretend to consider this, and I suppose she has a point.

"Fine," I give in, and I head toward the dresser. I pull the box along with me, and it feels heavier than I remember.

I hadn't opened it.

I couldn't.

For some reason, I was nervous, and I didn't know why. I had always felt very confident in myself, especially being raised by my parents. They were both pretty down to Earth when it came to their parenting techniques, and I had been raised to have great self-esteem. Though I know that while I could get away with murder, they made sure to let me know they wouldn't let me every time. They'd also been nothing but attentive and supportive, but all that wouldn't make me feel better if Adam had gone out of his way to be mean.

I knew the real reason why I didn't want to open up the gift.

It wasn't like we were close anymore. I felt a little down thinking about that, because he'd been my best friend for years. But I understood that he was sick of the jokes, sick of his friends teasing him about me, and most of all, maybe just sick of me.

I wasn't the coolest person in Dauntless, but at seventeen, I wouldn't consider that an epic failure. I figured people would ease up once I could actually choose to stay here, and the stigma of having the Coulters for parents would die down completely.

"I really don't think it's going to be anything dumb," my mother insists, and she scoots closer. She's not much taller than me, and the dresses she wore were often as short as mine. "Tris said he's been really secretive for weeks. She thinks maybe he was picking it out."

"Or maybe he was trying to avoid them being in his business," I point out, being very careful not to sound bratty. I had learned that when I spoke, my parents would always listen. But the minute I sounded like I knew better than them, they'd dismiss whatever it was I was saying. "A few years ago he told me his mom was really overbearing."

"She means well," my mother immediately defends her friend, and I wouldn't expect anything else. "It's not easy. Just you wait until you have a child."

"No thanks," I shake my head, and she smiles like I've told her I'm moving to another planet. "I'll spend my wealth on more clothes and paintings of people's pets in suits of armor."

My mother stares at me for a solid minute before she shakes her head.

"That's it. You are never going to Rylan's again," my mom laughs, and she nudges me with her elbow. "Now open it. I think I told you, but your father gave me a necklace once. It took him like forty-five minutes to tell me about it. I don't think he'd ever given anyone a gift before."

I open the box while my mother reminisces about my father's grand gesture of love, and to my surprise, it's an actual gift. It's buried beneath a mess of wadded up dark tissue paper that's been shoved in there, and it's wrapped hastily.

I open it gingerly, still expecting nothing. But it's not nothing. It's a bracelet, but not anything like my mother is expecting. I see her look at it curiously, the black thread woven together sloppily, until it came to the ends, all knotted together so it wouldn't come undone.

"It's very…well it's black and you love the color black." My mother does her best to make this situation a good one, but her face tells me she's worried he's given me something I'll hate.

But I don't hate it.

Not one bit.

Adam and I had made bracelets like these long ago, when our parents forced us to attend a summer camp. Our fathers thought it would be a great idea, and it would keep us out of trouble. Turned out, we were the oldest kids there, and in turn, they put us to work whenever they could. We snuck off half the time, and only returned when someone corralled us back.

One of the days had been Arts and Crafts themed, and that basically meant bracelet making. Adam had straight up refused at first. He struggled to tie the tiny threads in any matter, and he was quickly surpassed by the small six-year olds with tiny fingers. He spent all day swearing, and he only finished a few minutes before we were dismissed, scowling and furious that we'd wasted our whole afternoon making these.

I'd always assumed he'd thrown his away. I had given him mine as proof for his parents that we'd been there, and I forgot all about it.

Mine had been pink, and his had been black.

This was his.

This very black one, currently being slid over my wrist.

"It's cute. Maybe…maybe he found it at the market."

My mother keeps talking, long past when I kick her out to change my clothes, and long past when I've left to walk to school. Her face tells me she's nervous about me wearing it, and even more nervous that Adam will see it, thinking my fragile soul will be absolutely crushed that he's given me some string.

I don't tell her that beneath it was a note, and all it said was Eva, then Adam.

* * *

"He is hotter this year. Much hotter. It's official."

Kat announces this loudly, slamming her books down on the table as we take our seats in the classroom. Her long red hair is twisted up into two buns on the top of her head, and her leggings are cut up with all sorts of rips and tears, as though she's been through a battle. I like her shirt, the dark black fabric soft and oversized, and her boots are pink.

Almost as pink as Pink's hair.

"He's right there," I point out, sliding into the desk seat.

We were sitting on the side closest to the door, waiting for Pink to get here. She always sat in front of us. Next to her were a few of our other friends, Brexley and Bently, and Adam and his friends sat to the far left, usually in the back.

But no one was sitting down yet, because everyone was already over being at school.

This was our last year here, and it felt weird to think we'd never return to this floor unless you wanted to teach here. Our schooling was quite different than most, though it started the same. Up until sixth, we followed the standards and curriculum set by the Erudite Education Standards. After that, teachers came up with their own lesson plans, and to encourage us to stay in our own faction, we were taught things that would serve us well in Dauntless.

History blurred with the art of war, as well as battle planning and strategy.

English was mixed with art, and we were given the opportunity to shadow some of the artists who worked here. We were frequently brought to the tattoo shops to learn how to run the businesses, and we wrote essays on the history of tattooing. Science was still there, but we learned how our bodies processed fear and happiness. We were put in situations to see how we'd react, not quite full blown simulations, but close enough. Our gym classes were basic initiation training, and combined with what my father had taught me, I felt well prepared.

The hardest classes were the real-life ones. For weeks at a time, we were brought down to examine the faction's trucks, and learn how to work on them. We had shooting practice, lessons on proper gun safety, and learned how to shoot while running.

The easiest classes taught us how to live on our own. It was common for newer members to immediately be placed into an apartment with friends, and it was expected that they'd survive on their own.

I would be fine.

My father had taught me how to cook, perhaps some of my favorite memories with him, and my mother had taught me how to bake. Jason had taught me how to order in from the mess hall, and Christina had taught me how to convince my father to just make me dinner.

Today, our class is meeting to learn about the history of the factions. While nothing thrilling, it's an easy way to spend the first few hours, and it's meant to give us some information on which faction we might want to live in.

Turns out, that's the only easy thing that happens.

Adam and his friends stand around until a second before the bell rings to announce class is starting. He doesn't look at me at all, nor does he even glance in my general direction as they take their seats.

"He's even taller. I think he's been working out." Kat prattles on, ignoring the dirty look from our teacher passing out the handout for today. "Eva, did you ever talk to him?"

I glance over across the room, and while he might have been taller, or working out more, right now he was doing his best to ignore me. The feeling from this morning –an odd mixture of relief and happiness that he didn't truly dislike me –is immediately gone. Adam stares at his friend, then down at his phone. I glance at his wrist, wondering if maybe he'd found my bracelet, or maybe he'd at least look at me to acknowledge he knew I'd opened his present.

But he doesn't.

There's a sticky awkwardness to the fact that he might _want _to look at me, but for now, he's got to entertain his friends into thinking he could care less if I existed. He stares at Gunner, who is loudly talking about how his coffee tastes disgusting and there's no real craft in the coffee industry anymore, and Adam ignores me completely. I hear his friend say my name, mockingly, and Adam shakes his head.

My wrist burns.

"No, but that's fine," I lie, and I quickly work the bracelet off my wrist.

There was no point in pretending Adam and I would ever be friends, and no point in his gift other than to remind me of that.

She'd never know it, but my mother had been right and wrong this morning.

* * *

Things don't really get any better or worse.

They sort of stay the same, except occasionally, Adam and I bump into each other.

Our class is large, made up of all the seventeen year olds who have grown up in Dauntless. It's estimated that most will pick Dauntless for their chosen faction, and half will make it. The other half now has the option of staying and working their way up through the faction through an intense work based program, rather than outright being factionless. That had been my mother's idea. It gave us the opportunity to build our army, rather than building an army of factionless trying to take us down.

I wasn't at all worried.

My father had led the initiation for years, and now, it was overseen by my uncle.

A few people had given me shit for this, and it was slightly ironic considering Zander came from Amity. But I'd been told the story of his hero worship of my father, and he'd chosen to come here the minute he could. He was only four years older than me, but one would have thought he was born here. He took over a few years after coming to Dauntless, and from what I'd heard, he taught one amazing class.

My only real concern was that I'd be stuck in the middle of this weird limbo with Adam during initiation. My worst fear would be discovering that I was the center of attention not because I was working hard to earn my spot here, but because Adam had spilled all my secrets in an attempt to get ahead.

I only thought this, because every so often, I saw him, and things felt normal, and that didn't feel good.

Sometimes he smiled, sort of a sad, knowing smile like he knew he was being an ass and he regretted it. But if he wanted to distance himself from his parents, that meant distancing himself from me, too. So those smiles sucked, every single time. Sometimes he was genuinely happy. A few times he was right behind me in line to get lunch, so close that I could feel him standing there, and once, just once, his fingers touched mine.

He didn't jerk them back immediately, and no one in the faction would ever know how, in that moment, my heart beat so quickly I thought I might be dying. I had no logical explanation for it, other than I wished it had lasted longer, because it was a mere second before he reached past me to grab a hamburger and rejoin his friends.

Today, on the coldest day of December, I run into him on the stairs.

Really run into him.

I'd been on the phone with my father, assuring him I'd worn a jacket when I most certainly did not, and all I got to say was, I love you Dad, before I crashed right into Adam's chest. My phone fell to the floor with a loud thud, but I was too thrown off to look down and see if the screen had shattered.

"You okay?" Adam looks down at me, and I look up at him. I realize he's got a hold of me, his hands on my bare arms and he holds me in place. "Eva?"

"I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm fine. Are you okay?" I ask dumbly, because it was unlikely I'd have done anything more than slow him down. I have to crane my head to look up at him, and I think of how I stood on the roof with him months ago, just like this. "I just…I was on the phone and my dad wanted to make sure I brought a jacket with me and I didn't... I didn't see you."

"He's gonna lose it," Adam says, and for a split second he pretends to be horrified. "I heard him telling my dad that your mom is never dressed warm either. It must run in the family."

It did.

My father loathed that neither my mother nor I found any real enjoyment in the heavy winter clothes that were being sold this time of year. He had side eyed my dress hard this morning, calling out that it was snowing, and I was going to die of hypothermia if I didn't change.

I hadn't.

I hadn't died, either.

But I might right now. Adam moves his hand, and he very carefully slides the strap of my dress back up my shoulder. I stand there like a moron, and I feel like he's someone else right now, because it wasn't him. The Adam who was my friend would have been just fine doing this. Even second grade Adam had always made sure I had a jacket, and sometimes he gave me his even when his dad didn't force him to. Seventeen year old Adam barely looked at me, let alone fixed my dress.

"He's coming this way, you know." Adam points out, and his eyes drop to the sundress that I was wearing. He squints at it, but I was fine; I wasn't cold because I had already borrowed Kat's jacket, then Pink's sweater. I had given them back to run home, but I was fully expecting to beat my father there. "Like, a minute behind me."

"Well…shit." I answer brightly, looking for an alcove to hide in. He wouldn't be terribly mad, but it would be a lecture about freezing that I wasn't in the mood to hear. "I gotta go. Maybe I can…backtrack and cut him off at the stairs."

I try to think of the maze-like layout of Dauntless and the best escape route, but Adam shakes his head.

"You're not that fast."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," I look past him, and I realize I can hear my father. He's barking orders at someone over the phone, and his boots are heavy on the stairs as he clearly hurries down them.

"Here. Good luck."

Adam shoves his jacket at me, and he sprints past me like the hallway has caught fire. I suppose it has. It truly does feel like hell as I quickly slide his jacket on, and I'm surrounded by the warmth of my former best friend and current sometimes enemy.

"Eva!" My father practically yells my name as he rounds the corner, and he looks surprised to find me standing there. He's with Rylan, and Rylan walks just a step behind, also on the phone. "Oh, I thought you didn't have a jacket on."

"I told you I did." I point out, though technically, he was right. Seconds ago, I did not actually have a jacket on. "It's not even that cold in here."

"It's fifty seven actually. According to my darling wife, Christina." Rylan informs us, covering the phone with his hand. "I know this because we currently have no heat and she's not happy about it. Hi Eva, you look nice today."

"Thanks," I smile, until he stares at the jacket a little too long.

"Isn't that…"

"You know what, I have to get going. I told Mom I'd help make dinner," I interrupt Rylan, because I'm well aware that this jacket, while black and heavy and definitely a jacket, is way too large for me. It was also the same one Adam had on all week, and probably very recognizable for my obsessively involved Godfather who spent his free time watching the security tapes to make sure he didn't miss anything.

"What? What on Earth are you two making? Tell her to order something from Quinten. I don't want to have to buy another microwave." My father looks concerned and irritated, and he has every reason to.

Though the microwave exploding was not my fault.

It was slightly horrific; the fire was quicker and bigger than I had ever imagined and the smell of burnt plastic took forever to go away.

"That was not me. Mom said that bowl was microwave safe. How was I supposed to know it wasn't?" I protest, but no one cares.

"In fact, I told her we shouldn't even use the microwave. I'll make you both dinner when I'm home if she doesn't want to order out." He steps closer to me, and before I know it, he hugs me as though he'll never see me again. He crushes me against him, one large hand on the back of my head, and I can barely breathe.

This was common.

For someone so large and scary, he was awfully worked up anytime we parted ways. My mother had explained that the only thing he feared, the only thing that really and truly frightened him, was losing me or her.

Which explained why he looked pained every time I left the apartment.

"Okay. Will you come home soon?" I mumble against his uniform jacket, and he nods. He holds onto me for a second longer, then lets go only because Rylan insists.

"Generators are out. We gotta head outside before the faction freezes. Good luck with dinner. Try not to burn down Dauntless, or maybe do. Then Christina will be warm. She can sit around it like a bonfire," Rylan grins, and I smile back at him.

"I'm on it."

I leave the two of them in the hallway, and I head home as quickly as I can.

It's not until I make it there, do I realize I have no clue what to do with Adam's jacket.

* * *

A few weeks later, I spend my afternoon not at school, but at home.

I'd come down with one miserable virus, something that not even the infirmary could help with, and it forced me to miss school. I wasn't too upset. I was missing field week, which was mostly us, out with the soldiers who weren't on patrol, playing games. It was supposed to encourage us to get out and get some fresh air, but Kat and Pink and I hated it. Pink sort of liked it, for she was just as fast as the boys in our class, but Kat loathed being forced out there with men twice our size. I was somewhere in the middle, but with a fever and cough that wouldn't go away, sprinting through the woods didn't sound fun at all.

So I stayed home, joined by my mother who had decided she wasn't paying enough attention to me if she went to work, and it wasn't half bad. We watched movies, went through my father's clothing to weed out the things he didn't wear, made cupcakes, ordered breakfast, brunch, lunch, a snack, then dinner from Quinten. We would have ordered dessert, too, but we got banned by my father when he realized Quinten was spending his day as our personal chef.

The second day was fun because I felt better, so we went shopping. Turns out that was a terrible idea, because I got home feeling more exhausted than ever, my fever came back, and I was then forced to stay home another day. My cough grew worse too, and despite my panic that I might die from it, my mother left me all alone.

"You'll be fine. I just have to go to Candor for the morning. Actually, part of the afternoon. Maybe like, five-ish." She lingers in my doorway, looking for a clue that will tell her I won't perish from this virus by the time she returns. "Your Dad is…he won't be here, either. He's going to Erudite to see your Grandpa."

"I'll be fine," I remind her, but it comes out sounding pretty pathetic.

I sink back against the mountain of black pillows and try not to look that sick. I might have overdone it while we were out yesterday, but I was fine missing this entire week. I had no desire to chase after anyone or anything, especially with how cold it was.

"Are you sure? Maybe I could reschedule," she still doesn't move, only sighs heavily like this was one terrible dilemma. "I could call Jack or maybe he could come here…"

"Seriously, I'll be fine. Just go. I'm going to go back to sleep anyway," I pull the comforter up, with every intention of going right back to bed as soon as she left. "Just text me when you're leaving there and I'll order us dinner if my card still isn't frozen."

"Okay," my mother agrees, and she smiles. "Eva, if you need anything, call Rylan. Or Jason. Or Karl. They'll come right over."

"Okay," I mumble, and I have no intention of calling any of them. While I loved them, dearly, they would no doubt drag me back to the infirmary and insist that someone give me something. Or they'd want to stay, and there was no way I'd sleep with them hanging around, trying to entertain me. "Bye."

I don't hear her say goodbye, because my eyes have closed and I'm already half asleep. I don't even hear her leave, but I do hear the knocking on the door, and I groan. It was likely my mother had forgotten her keycard or her phone, or she was too paranoid to really leave.

But when I finally open the door, after one slow, irritated walk down the hallway, I find not my mother standing there, but Adam. He's standing there slumped over, looking pretty unhappy.

I blink at him.

He doesn't really smile, and it takes several seconds for me to realize he looks as crappy as I feel.

"My mom said you were home. Do you have anything I can take for a headache?"

He looks like garbage. Kat would shriek that he still looked hot, and he probably was. He probably had the same fever I had, which was why he was pale and dressed like he'd come straight from bed. He's walked over in a t-shirt and pajama pants, and he must really be sick because it was unlikely he'd let anyone see him in such a state.

"Yeah, we do. Are you sick?"

Well, here it is.

The moment I win the Genius of Dauntless award.

Of course he's sick. I highly doubt his mom let him stay home because he was fine, and it wasn't like he was desperate enough to see me to come up with this elaborate ploy.

But he nods, and he looks just as miserable as I feel. "It started yesterday. They made me go to school even though I said I felt sick. I stayed until the nurse sent me home because I had a fever."

"I've had it all week. If you come in, I'll find you something." I hold the door open, and he slowly walks past me. His hair is still longer and messy, and I bet it kills Mrs. Eaton. She had always made sure his hair was perfect when we were little, but he doesn't seem to want that now. "I think it's in my parent's medicine cabinet."

"Okay."

Adam mumbles the word at me, and he waits while I head to their bedroom. It's perfectly organized, except for their shoes and my father's jacket thrown on the bed. I find the bottle of pain relievers that my mom had given me this morning, and I figure I'll let him decide how many he wants. I leave the bedroom quickly, but I don't see Adam in the living room. I wonder if he left, but to my surprise, he's standing in the doorway of my bedroom.

"Your room is still pink?"

He turns to look at me, and I freeze a few steps away from him. I don't know if it's the rush of embarrassment over the color, but I liked my room. It had been dark at some point, probably my father's choice, but years ago I'd asked him to paint it one very pale shade of pink, and he did.

Grudgingly.

I'd forgotten Adam knew this.

"Yeah, it's still my favorite color." I step closer to him, wondering what he's staring at. My room is clean aside from the unmade bed. Everything on it is dark, because my father couldn't bring himself to buy a pink comforter. "I uh, I guess they'll repaint it when I move."

"I bet they won't. I bet they'll keep it exactly the same." Adam keeps looking around the room, and he stops when sees the picture of Rylan. "You seriously still have that? I can remember seeing that when…"

He stops, and I know exactly what he's going to say.

When he had stayed over.

From birth until preschool, we often took our naps together. This gave my mom and his mom a chance to either take a nap themselves, or drink coffee and talk about whatever the current gossip was. I guess they felt it was safe to leave both of us in here, first in a crib, then in the regular sized bed because my father didn't believe in toddler beds. I often woke up first, always next to Adam, and patiently waited until he woke up, too.

Those days were long gone.

Adam quit coming over as soon as he could, and I was forced to learn how to sleep alone.

"It's still there," I agree, staring at the old photo of my Godfather. He looked pretty much the same, though he was older now, and less insane. "I feel like he would be really insulted if I took it down."

"Yeah, he definitely would." Adam turns to look at me, and I look at him.

We are equally sick looking. Both of us are in pajamas, and neither of us have combed our hair today.

"Here, um, you can take whatever you want. I took one." I hand him the bottle, and he takes it from me. His fingers touch mine for a moment, and he glances back at the bed. "Do you want to stay and watch a movie? My dad left me a few new ones?"

Adam looks at me, really looks at me, and he slowly shakes his head. I feel everything in me deflate, though I knew my invitation was a lost cause.

"Actually, what did he leave you? Anything good? Or is it that weird series about the serial killers? He and my dad were talking about it when I stopped by the offices the other day."

I look up in total shock, and to my surprise, he's staring at me.

To my further surprise, he follows me to the living room, and sits down on the couch after I tell him no, my father most definitely didn't leave my anything with serial killers.

* * *

"These girls are stupid."

Adam watches the screen with an unimpressed stare, and I laugh at his expression. It makes me cough immediately, but I don't care.

We'd been sitting her for two hours now. Our first movie hadn't worked, something about a cemetery where things came back to life. The second one did work; it was a riveting tale about some girls who went swimming only to find themselves stuck in a cave filled with sharks. The story wasn't anything amazing, but it was much more entertaining than sitting here by myself.

"Are you sure you don't want to watch the demon one?" Adam looks at me, and I shake my head. My father had left some horror movies since he loved them. I hated to break his heart, but I had no real desire to watch anything about a haunted doll that came to life. "Chicken."

It's good natured, and I sink back against the couch, propping my feet up on the ottoman we'd dragged over.

"You can watch it. I'll let you take it home," I laugh, then cough until my lungs hurt. Aside from the searing pain, I had to admit, this was nice. Despite both of us coughing, and Adam looking like he could fall asleep at any moment, this wasn't a bad way to spend the morning. I occasionally get a text from my mother, but after I assure her I'm fine, she must put her phone away because they stop.

"Do you want anything to eat? I could order something?" I yawn, glancing at the time. It was just after nine in the morning, and I should really have gone back to bed.

"No, I'm good. My mother has been in my room every hour with something to eat. I don't want any of it." He shuts his eyes for a moment, then turns to look at me. "I haven't slept since yesterday. I think she's afraid I'll die in my sleep. This morning, she woke me up at six to tell me she was going to work. Same with my dad."

"That sounds…. awful," I agree, thinking I'd have probably locked my door if my parents had kept coming in my room. "Sorry."

Adam is silent for a long time. He opens his eyes to watch the shark kill some random guy working beneath the water, and I can feel him looking at me.

"I'm the one who should be sorry." He shrugs, and I look at him. He's staring at me the same way he did when he fixed my dress, but unfortunately, it's hard to keep my eyes open. I nod, not really getting what he's saying. "Eva…"

But I'm too tired to hear the rest. I shut my eyes, and I feel him shift on the couch. I bet anything he's leaving, now that things are awkward and weird all over again. Bringing up his parents, while his own doing, was enough to remind him that they liked me, which meant he didn't.

He doesn't leave, though. Instead, he sits down closer, until he's so close that I'm against his shoulder. He's quiet as he sits there, and he kicks his feet up next to mine. I feel myself falling asleep, finally warm and content with the quiet.

I'm almost totally asleep when he speaks, and it's so low that I barely hear him.

"I miss you, Evangelina Coulter."

I feel him touch my wrist, and his fingers stay there for a long time, until he falls asleep, too.


	3. Chapter 3

Happy Fridayyyyyy to everyone, except for those who said Adam looks like Four. You will be getting a cease and desist letter from my attorney 😒

Thank you SO much to everyone reading and reviewing! It's so cool to see people reading along and enjoying the story.

Thank you so so so much to Bamberlee for editing🌟

* * *

I open my eyes to my mother gloating at me.

She grins evilly from the kitchen table, watching me with one very satisfied smile on her face. She's never been a particularly petty person, but in this moment, her whole expression screams _I told you so_.

Probably because Adam is sound asleep. He'd fallen asleep leaning against me, and in his sleep, he'd slumped over, pinning me halfway beneath him.

"I took a picture!" My mother half whispers, half yells, and I want to die when she holds up her phone. "I won't send it to anyone, promise."

Wonderful. This clearly wasn't going to end well for me. I guess being nice and trying to be friends with my former friend was a lost cause.

"Help me," I hiss, not wanting to wake Adam up. Go figure that the one time we actually can be in the same room without him glaring at me, he falls asleep. "I have a really bad headache. I thought you were working anyway."

"Liar. You're fine. Just stay there and let me enjoy this." My mother shakes her head, and I groan.

I'm not lying.

I might not have a headache that second, but I would. Because I am sweltering beneath Adam, the heavy blanket he must have thrown over us, and his heavy arm. He is much larger than I remember him being when we were four, and I can barely breathe. It worsens when I have to cough, and my mother's eyes widen as I try to slide out from beneath him.

"You're going to wake him up!" My mother looks pained at this thought, and I suddenly understand why Adam was so reluctant to acknowledge our childhood friendship. Because of moments like this. Because I knew damn well my mother had already sent the picture to his mother, and their faith in my and Adam's future relationship was restored. "Actually, you should probably wake him up soon anyway. Your father will be home in an hour and you know how worked up he gets."

"Great," I slump back against the couch, trying to imagine my father's reaction to seeing me like this. I'm sure he'd have a few choice words no matter how my mother explained it. I shake my head at the thought, and that's enough to wake Adam.

He lifts his head up, and his eyes widen.

In sheer horror.

"What…the…" It's all he can mumble, and he sounds just like one would expect him to. Panicked. Totally panicked, and clearly not thrilled to be lying on top of me. "Sorry, I think I took too much of that medicine."

I want to tell him nice try, but we knew that wasn't it. I'd watched him swallow down two of the tiny blue tablets and nothing else. He'd fallen asleep because he was tired and no one was waking him up every hour in our apartment.

"Sorry, Eva. I didn't mean to ruin your movie. What time is it?" Adam sits up, pulling away from me slowly. He doesn't jerk away like I'd expect him to, but he definitely isn't staying. "Is it still the afternoon?"

"It's almost five," my mother cheerfully calls out, and Adam's eyes widen. "Don't worry. I told your mother you're here. I said you were keeping Eva company."

She smiles at both of us like we should thank her.

She's met with a moment of silence.

"Okay….so…. thanks. I should probably go before my dad gets home." Adam mutters, and I have to say, he doesn't look quite so sickly. The eight hours of sleep has done him wonders, and I would feel better myself if this wasn't the exact opposite of how I wanted this day to turn out. "Thanks, uh, Eva. I'll see you later. Thanks, Mrs. Coulter."

He's polite at least.

He leaves quickly and I watch him shut our door to head home.

"Was his mom mad? I'm sure she wanted him to stay home, right?" I ask my mother without looking, and I hear her stand up. "Mom?"

"No, she wasn't mad. She was glad he was sleeping." My mother takes the seat next to me, and she turns to look at me. Her expression is torn, because Adam's mother is one of her best friends, and they look out for each other. "Tris is sort of…unsure about what to do. She doesn't know why he's mad at everyone. So, she was happy he was with you. She doesn't really like his friends."

I contemplate this, shrugging halfheartedly.

"They're alright," I answer, but I'm reluctant to tell her they weren't really anything great. Adam liked them because they were anonymous here. Their parents didn't care what they did, so long as they weren't causing trouble for anyone, they had free reign to go wherever they pleased. No one was keeping tabs on them, not like they did Adam and I. "I don't want to hang out with them, but he likes them."

My own mother shrugs, then pulls out her phone. "She said they have weird names and one just got busted setting off the alarms by the east doors. But who knows? I'm guessing his friends don't like any figure of authority and Tris is one." She pauses, then looks at me with a grin. "I'm going to order dinner. Do you want anything?"

I smile, because for the first time in a few days, I feel somewhat back to normal.

"Yes! I'm starving. We didn't eat all day."

"Because you two were sleeping! Let's hope my card works." My mother's eyes light up, and I roll mine as she pulls out her phone to call Quinten. She orders enough food for an army, making sure he hears that the most important part of her order is dessert, and I find myself grinning.

My father would be home soon. He'd scowl at her order, scowl at the three desserts she'd just added on, and smile when she wasn't looking.

Adam didn't remind me of him in any way, but sometimes, I thought he did.

* * *

Adam Eaton does not miss me when his mother lets on that she knows he fell asleep next to me.

I know she told him, because a few days later, Adam scowls as he walks by, and he practically shoves my partner out of the way.

"What the fuck is his issue? How can one be so…sullen all the time?" My friend Nikoli, and by "friend" I mean, forced emergency survival partner assigned by our instructor, stares at Adam as he walks past us to head to his group of friends. We were standing outside, waiting for our teacher to tell us to get started on scaling the shorter walls. "You'd think that having his daddy run this faction would put him in a better mood."

I frown at Nikoli, whose own father also ran the faction. Well, technically, it was his mother. She was voted in a year ago, after Tori stepped down to take a part time position elsewhere. I had only met her a few times, and let's just say her main concern seemed to be what Mr. Eaton was doing.

But not in a good way.

In a midlife crisis, recently divorced and desperately-had-the-hots-for-her-coworker type of way. It was my father's favorite thing to come home and tell my mother about, but in his defense, he did help hide Adam's dad as much as he could.

When he felt like being nice.

"He's…probably not enthused to be scaling the walls," I guess, and I find myself very sick of defending Adam. His shitty attitude was pretty unappealing, even to Kat. Her sudden crush was gone as quickly as it had started, especially when she learned Adam had never so much as even asked a girl to go anywhere with him. She'd nearly fallen off my bed when I told her this, and even Pink looked shocked. I guess they'd been thinking he was the playboy of Dauntless, so this was news to them.

"But he's _hot_. So…shouldn't there be a line of girls?" Kat stared at me, then Pink, then my father when he barged in to ask if we wanted any popcorn. "Sure. You're the best, Mr. Coulter."

She smiled up at him, and he smiled back with minimal patience. She'd gone through a phase when she, grossly, found him to also be hot. I wasn't sure which part of it was worse: having my friend think my father was hot, or having my mother openly tell everyone he was still hot.

I'm sure none of them would find my father remotely attractive if they knew how long it took him to comb his hair.

Luckily, it was short lived. At least, for my friend. My mother still found my father to be the best-looking man in Dauntless and I, unfortunately, got to hear about it daily.

"No, he doesn't have a line of girls waiting for him because everyone assumes he's going to marry Eva. Oh shit, maybe that's why he's so mad all the time. He can't get anywhere, with anyone. They're all probably thinking he's not single." Pink's face had lit up in triumph that she'd figured this out, and she wasn't wrong.

He got the jokes just as much as I did, and no matter how many times we tried to downplay it, someone always brought it right back up.

"Not to mention the fact that you'd be eating with the Eatons if you dated him. My dad said his father is sooo boring. Like beyond boring. He was in the meeting where they were talking about repainting the shops, and Adam's dad was really into the color grey. Go figure." Pink had laughed as Kat pretended to be horrified, but I'd frowned.

I'd grown up eating dinner with Adam and his family, and they were perfectly normal. They weren't boring or stuck up. In fact, they could be fun, if you knew them.

But anytime I said anything, it came off incredibly defensive, no matter how I phrased it.

"Okay, well news flash, Adam Eaton, no one cares about your teen angst. In fact, he's only got a few more months before no one cares about him at all." Nikoli stares Adam down, but Adam is too busy talking to Gunner to care. He and his friends take off, watching a few boys attempt to jump over the wall without touching it.

"What do you mean, a few months?" I feel stupid asking, but I have to know. "What happens in a few months?"

"Are you sure you're Eric's daughter? I would think you'd be counting down the minutes until you can run this faction." Nikoli half jokes, and he grabs my arm to drag me toward the shortest wall. "Girl, in a few months you turn eighteen. I know this, because we're all invited to your party. At least, my mother and I are. A few weeks after that, we'll be attending the Choosing Ceremony, and once we pick, Adam Eaton is just another initiate in Dauntless trying not to get lost in the crowd."

He gestures toward the wall, ignoring the funny look on my face. His words sound ominous, but this is the first time I've heard anyone say a word about me running anything.

I have the sinking feeling I might be clueless as to what people thought of me.

Nikoli patiently waits for me to step up, and when I don't, he nudges me forward.

"You first, Coulter. We don't have all day."

I throw him one dark look, but in the end, I scale the wall easily.

After all, my father had started training me when I was little, so this is total child's play to me.

* * *

"Make it a good one. A really good one."

This time, my father holds onto me so tightly I can barely breathe. I still don't move. I let him hold onto me, because this is the last birthday I will celebrate before initiation.

The cake in front of me is beautiful. It's pink and gold, lit up with eighteen candles, and frosted with large, sugary flowers. I know it came from Amity, and the women who brought it here have stayed for the party. I almost can't bring myself to blow the candles out or cut the cake, but I know I don't have much longer.

"Happy Birthday Eva," my father announces, still leaning in, still close. Across the table, my mother takes a few photos on her phone, scowling when it freezes, then smiling when Jason fixes it for her. Next to them, Rylan is staring at me like he doesn't know if he should make a joke or start crying, and Christina sniffles as she holds onto his arm. Someone mutters that they can't believe my father has kept me alive this long, and there's a burst of laughter when he sneers at them.

My mother catches my eye, smiling sweetly but even her smile falters. Next to her is Mrs. Eaton, Adam's father, and Arlene. She looks older and sharper than ever, but she smiles in pure satisfaction There's also Nikoli, staring me down like he'd like to eat more than just a piece of the cake, his mother, and the women from Amity. My Uncle Forrest and my Aunt Willow. Quinten is also here, probably with the bill from all the orders my mother and I placed.

There are more, but the faces blur as I stare at the candles. My grandparents are here; my mother's parents stand closer to her, and my father's parents stand closer to him, though the one is my grandfather's second wife. That had been a fun discussion when my father felt the need to explain it, but Rylan had stopped him when he got to talking about anyone other than the one I had grown up calling Grandma Camille.

Even Zander and Woody are here, both arguing over who had the cooler job and not paying attention to me at all.

"Eva, blow the candles out! Hurry!" Kat crowds in closer, and Pink slides into the spot on the other side of me. "Before they melt."

I nod, though really, I want to make this last as long as possible. Seventeen hadn't been the most amazing year of my life. Nothing crazy had happened, nothing monumental or outstanding, and really, the only exciting thing that occurred was that Adam and I fell asleep watching a movie about sharks. He wasn't even here, and normally the thought would make my stomach hurt, but I decided I no longer cared.

He'd turned eighteen a while ago, and I most certainly had not been invited to his party.

In fact, they hadn't even had a party.

He and his dad had wound up getting onto some major argument that lasted for days. On his actual birthday, the Eatons came over with the cake they'd ordered for him. We wound up eating it with them, silently, and even my father was sympathetic to their forlorn expressions. He gave Adam's dad a beer, then a few more, and I went to bed without anyone noticing.

I felt bad that he'd made his parents feel terrible, and I felt even worse because I knew it was unlikely he'd fix that before the Choosing Ceremony.

So I smile at them. I hold their stares for a minute, knowing they'd been a big part of my life for these past eighteen years, and I'm sure they'd continue to be. I lean back against my dad, just letting him hold me one final time, before I blow out the candles all at once.

* * *

"Are you sure you're ready?"

My father stares at me, his grey eyes flashing with annoyance as someone walks too close to him. They aren't from Dauntless, but they catch on real quick that no one should dare bump into him. They hop away as fast as they can, then trip into their friends as they line up.

"If I say no are you going to stop the ceremony?" I look up at my father, and he smirks.

"Sure. You want another year of living with us?" His smirk intensifies when the girl in front of us turns around, her long blonde hair braided to the side, and I faintly recognize her from Amity. Or at least, I recognize the clothing. "I could make it happen. Or Rylan could. I'm sure there's a fire alarm he could pull or a dramatic performance he could put on."

He's joking.

I mean, I hope he is.

But a few steps behind us is Rylan, with his hair slicked back and his uniform jacket buttoned up. He grins, having overheard my father, and I can see his brain whirling with a way to stall the ceremony.

Luckily for me, before he can cause some major distraction, or decide to act out the play he'd been writing, someone yells his name. He waves at them before adjusting his jacket sleeves down and glancing up at the sky and agreeing it'll snow soon. He's not wrong. It's cooler now, the summer having long gone after my school year ended in the blink of an eye.

I'd spent my final summer as an unofficial member of Dauntless having fun. I hung out with Pink and Kat; we spent a lot of time driving my father insane, and we'd spent two weeks in Amity with my grandparents. My dad couldn't be gone that long, so he left us, warily telling them good luck and he'd be back when my grandfather had had his fill of shrieking girls.

Amity had been a whole other world.

I was brought there frequently; my grandmother and grandfather lived there, and everything felt like it was from one of the stories my mom had read before bed every night. Since I didn't have Adam to help me fall asleep, my mother read to me. Every night she picked a new book, and every night I got to be the main character in whatever fairy tale she'd chosen. I did a lot in those nights –fought off pirates, rescued a prince who was too stupid to save himself, had hair as long as a tower, even ate a poisoned apple.

When my father read to me, it was other things. One time it was his favorite story about some weird wizard, though I was too little to understand it. Sometimes it was stories about police. Firemen. Heroes who saved a kitten from a burning building. He read a story about a frozen princess once, enlisting Rylan to come be the other princess and they'd wound up arguing over who was the true hero of that story. Their disagreement went on page after page, and they never actually finished the story.

They did stand up, arguing back and forth for a good hour, before they realized I wasn't sleeping, but watching them hotly debate which princess was the one in charge.

That had been my favorite night.

Every other night was good, too. In their stories, I was completely lost. It was like being somewhere else, even just for that hour.

That was how Amity was.

My grandmother's house reminded me of one you'd find deep in the woods. It was full of things that our apartment wasn't: plants, covering every surface and seemingly overtaking the home, flowers, all kinds and colors, photos and pictures that someone had painted, lots of oversized blankets and furniture that didn't entirely match. There were books of all shapes and sizes, tea ready to be made, and warm lighting no matter what time of day it was.

Their house was mostly empty, except for my cousins coming in and out. My uncle lived not too far away, and he liked to stop by to check in on everyone.

For two weeks I relished in both the silence and my grandparent's full attention. I liked the stories my grandpa told me about my father. They were mostly serious, but sometimes he'd laugh and I knew that this would be a story about my father throwing something at someone's head. He told me how my father had tortured poor Mr. Eaton for existing, going as far as to have my godfather follow him around. I heard stories about their quest to find out who was stealing their guns, and he slipped up when he told me he'd helped find my mother.

I didn't know what that meant, but my grandma stepped in, shaking her head and firmly telling him no. Before I could beg to hear the rest, thinking maybe he meant he'd helped find her after she got lost in Amity, my grandma shooed me, Pink, and Kat outside, and told us to come back when the sun had set.

My final summer was amazing.

We spent days by the lake, though my father warned us that it was filled with slime water. We spent our nights watching the stars with my grandpa, and he taught us their names. We made cookies, skipped around the faction without anyone caring where we went, and helped brush the horses' manes.

It was almost enough to make me think that living here might not be so bad.

No one wore shoes, it seemed warmer than Dauntless, and the boys here were nicer. Most of them smiled at me, not just smirky arrogant smiles because they could leap off a building and onto the next one without blinking or they knew who my dad was. They were genuine smiles, followed by an offer to walk us back home and an invitation to come sit around the bonfires.

But standing here now, next to my father, I can't imagine living far away from him. I can't imagine missing the way he'd smile when he was proud or seeing how happy he was when my mother and I were both home. I couldn't imagine not seeing Rylan, often chasing after someone to dock them points, or Jason, trying to freak me out by saying there was something in the basement.

I couldn't imagine not seeing my mother. I wouldn't be able to sit with her on the couch, watching terrible movies where the main teen character made awful choices and still wound up with the good guy. No one ever wound up with the bad guy, and when I pointed this out, she would smile and tell me she agreed that would have been more interesting. I couldn't imagine not attempting to cook dinner with her, catching my father's look of horror when he realized we'd used every pot and pan in the kitchen and dinner still wasn't actually cooked.

I couldn't imagine leaving all of that behind.

My friends, currently a few spots ahead, ignoring their parents trying to hold their attention. My other godfather, Karl, also here –even just as security. The Eatons, looking glum as they scanned the crowd for Adam.

And Adam.

Dumb, stupid, too tall Adam.

I look around for him, too.

The Eatons miss him as they walk inside, but I see him. He's off standing down by one of the furthest doorways, watching everyone with an unimpressed smirk as they file past him. He and I lock eyes when he looks my way, and I freeze in place, causing Rylan to crash right into me.

"Fuck, sorry, Eva. Sorry for saying fuck, too. Wait, no I can say fuck. You're old enough now."

I barely hear him, nor do I care that he's swearing loudly, much to the chagrin of almost every other person around him.

I'm too busy staring.

Adam looks far different than I remember. Two weeks ago, I'd seen him walking late at night. He moved quickly, avoiding the blinking security cameras and the watchful eyes of the control room. Even with his hoodie pulled up and his eyes avoiding mine, I knew what he looked like. He'd had long, messy hair that his mother hated and a definite sneakiness to his posture. He hadn't been speaking to anyone, nor was he interested in anyone other than his friends and slipping out into the night.

Now, he looks entirely different. He's cut his hair into something that makes him look older. It's not super short or anywhere near the shaved sides that the soldiers preferred, but something that hints that he does not give a fuck.

His posture has changed, too. He doesn't look angry or defeated, but strong, like he could run the place if he wanted to. Fearless. A little dangerous, maybe. Ready to fight whoever told him to go inside.

A few steps ahead of me, I can hear Kat hyperventilating at the sight of him.

I hear her shriek that he's hot again. Did we see his jacket, the dark leather fitted perfectly and matched to his dark pants? Did we see his hair? That he was so much hotter now that we could see his face, and DAMN has he been working out!

I hear her mother tell her to calm down, and she pushes her through the doorway and into the darkness with everyone else.

"He _is _hot_._ Well, shit. Guess Four's kid has been working out. I thought I saw him down in the gym." Rylan, the ironic voice of reason, shoves me forward. "Stay away from him, Eva. He looks like he's about to give Four a migraine."

I want to laugh at Rylan's words, because they are spoken with a dry knowledge of exactly what Adam was about to do. Rylan had been in Adam's shoes once. He'd probably scorned his own mother by refusing to cut his hair, and he'd probably gotten out some pent up anger by working out until he couldn't feel his legs.

It made perfect sense that Rylan would warn me to avoid Adam, and not just because it meant more work for Rylan.

It's also because he's right behind me when Adam smiles at me, mostly genuine and only half smirky, and that smirk grows wider when Rylan corrals me back into line.

"You are too…sweet for him, my darling Goddaughter. You stay away from that one. Find yourself a dorky kid and hang out with him," Rylan insists, and I wonder when Adam's reputation took a turn for the dark side. As far as I knew, everyone was chalking it up to him having a father determined to raise a good son, and Adam being a normal eighteen year old and wanting to be left alone. "You should have worn a sweater, by the way. Eric, do you have an extra sweater?"

I ignore Rylan, and I ignore my father loudly asking if I was cold, because he didn't have a sweater but he would give me his jacket.

"Rylan, I love you. I hope you can come visit me in Abnegation some time." I cheerfully remark, and he turns to me with an expression of pure horror. He opens his mouth to say something, but he's interrupted by a woman asking him where she should go. I leave him and my father standing there, and head toward the doorway while Adam watches. I finally smile back at him, fixing the sleeve of my dress and trying to pretend I loved the idea of everyone watching me pick a faction.

Adam also watches me. He watches me the entire time I walk up, right up until the moment my father knocks several people out of the way to tell me he'll kill me if I pick anywhere but Dauntless. He also manages to hug me so tightly my feet leave the floor and he holds on as long as he can.

Adam must know what he's saying. His smirk changes to something else, and it stays that way as he takes off to find his friends.

"Eva, please…please tell me you're picking…" My father pauses, and his eyes are glued to mine. He searches my face frantically, desperate to find a clue that I won't tell him I'm picking Amity because my summer had been killer since my grandparents didn't care when I went to bed or Abnegation because I liked the idea of living in a place without electricity. "Evangelina…"

"I'll see you in a few hours. I can come upstairs and eat with you if I get tired of eating in the mess hall, right?"

My father smiles, relief all over his face turning to pride, and he nods.

"Oh thank God, yes. You can do whatever you want. You can have whatever you want…"

He's cut off by someone telling him to take his seat. Normally, this would enrage him for interrupting this moment, but he's too happy to yell at them. He hugs me again, crushing me against the heavy fabric of the Dauntless jacket, and I let him. I close my eyes until I hear my mother calling for him, and Pink yelling for me to hurry up.

"I love you."

It's the last thing I get to tell him before Pink grabs my arm and pulls me away. I leave with her slowly, waving goodbye as my mother joins him, and a second later, they vanish into the dark sea of black clothing right along with me.

* * *

"Did it stop bleeding?"

Kat sits on one side of me and Pink sits on the other. The train rushes faster and faster, taking a sharp turn that causes us to fall into each other.

"Almost," I hold my hand up for her to see, and I wrinkle my nose.

Choosing a faction hadn't been hard at all. I knew I would stay in Dauntless no matter how appealing Amity might have been. There was something I liked about our dark faction. I liked how brave everyone was, how fast and fearless the members were, and the buzzing feeling that ran through the faction. My father told me things had changed since he'd come here, but I knew he, too, liked the marbled walls. The high ceilings. The rushing river that ran through the middle, spilling out into the woods. I knew he also liked the hidden, twinkling lights, the twisting pathways and unending mazes, and the feeling that the faction never slept.

The changes he brought up weren't anything I'd recognize. New living areas to hold our ever growing population, larger homes for larger families and small, loft type spaces for those who preferred to live alone. There were now homes above ground, though hidden far in the back, and mostly used by the older members who were tired of squinting as they walked through the darkness. New expanded training areas. We had more gyms, more shops, more places to eat, new bars –though Clyde's was still considered the best one to go to, and of course, plenty of tattoo and piercing parlors.

So choosing to stay in Dauntless wasn't hard, but slicing my palm open for what felt like a very cultish ceremony was.

My father had sat on the edge of his chair, clutching onto my mother's hand when I walked up to the coals. He'd grimaced when I cut my palm, but he relaxed when he realized it was over, and I would be returning to Dauntless.

I'd grimaced when I realized that in order to get back, I had to scale the train tracks with my still bleeding hand.

"Mine too." Pink doesn't look thrilled, and she gingerly touches her fingers against my skin. "I hope it stops before we get there."

"It will. Unless you like, really cut yourself." Kat answers, but she's distracted. I follow her stare to the front of the train, where Adam and his friends are standing. "I guess we could always go to the nurse. On our first day."

She sounds like that idea is terrible, and it is.

While we didn't know everything that would happen during our initiation, we knew coming off like fragile weaklings wouldn't be a great way to start the day. Even if Zander was our instructor.

"Hey, did you talk to Adam yet? Did you guys…make up?"

Kat turns to look at me, and her stare is funny. It's sharper than I'd expect, and I feel a weird feeling rush over me. I don't like it; it's like my subconscious is telling me not only will things be different, but they already are.

"Not quite. But I don't think we'll see him much. From what I heard, everyone splits up. Rylan told me it's easier if you find a group to stick with." I lean closer to her, and I watch her nod like she doesn't believe me. "Kat, are you okay?"

Her eyes flick to Adam, but he's busied with Gunner. They don't look at all nervous, not even when the train slows down just enough that I know it's not long before we're expected to jump off. "I'm just…I'm just worried. What if we don't make it? What if…"

"Relax," Pink shakes her head, and she reaches over to nudge Kat. "We got this. We've been training for it since Eva's dad started that new day care. Don't you remember when he got mad that they kept breaking up the toddler fights? He said it would come in handy one day? Well that day is today."

Kat looks at me, and I smile, hoping she'll relax.

She does.

I do, too.

I stand up, pulling Kat to her feet and reach to grab Pink's hand as we head toward the doors of the train. The scenery rushes past in a blur; it's all empty rooftops, rundown buildings, and towering structures, until it's not.

Until the rooftops of Dauntless appear, and I know we don't have much longer.

Pink lets go of me as Adam and his friends join us. Gunner stands very close to her, forcing her forward, and she turns to scowl at him. He smiles back at her, meaning nothing by it other than wanting to be closer to the doors.

"Are you ladies excited? I hear it's hard to get in from the rooftop." Gunner laughs, but he's not as brave as he wants to be. There's a faint flicker of hesitation to him, especially when Adam stops right beside me. "I think it'll be cake."

"Sure, cake." Pink repeats, turning to me. "Eva, are you ready? We can all jump together."

She waits until I nod, then gestures for Kat to join us. The train turns again, slowing down enough to give us all a fair shot at jumping. I watch the railings of the rooftops streak past us before I make the mistake of looking down. The ground is further than I thought, and it would be one steep drop if you didn't make it.

"We gotta go now," Aja insists, shoving Gunner forward. His hair has recently been cut short, too. Not like Adam's, but more militant and severe. "The guys up front said the last building is ours."

I turn to look at him, wanting to ask him who was up front, when Adam steps even closer to me. He's so close that he's almost touching my back, and to my surprise, he reaches for my wrist right as Kat and Pink tell me to jump.

"Now," Pink yells, and I turn to tell her not yet. I think we should be back further, not just leaping from the edge of the doorway.

"Eva…"

Adam notices my hesitation. He says my name, but nothing else.

A second passes before I'm thrown off balance. I can feel Kat jumping, and she pulls me forward to jump with them. She, Pink, Aja and Gunner all take off, leaping fearlessly. But I'm not ready. I stumble, nearly falling right out of the doorway, until Adam grabs my arm. He jerks me back, and I crash against his chest, unable to move.

The building moves by dizzyingly. The rooftop is a white blur, smearing as I blink away the panic.

"Oh my god," I gasp, not exactly ready to die just yet. I'd been away from my parents for a literal hour, and I'd like to do a few more things before my life ended. "Adam, I would have fallen. I would have died. I wasn't ready…"

"I know…you're good now though. You're fine." Adam's voice is somewhat stressed, and he tightens his grip on me. "Let's…we'll jump together. It's almost the end of the building."

"Just…give me a second." I try to slow down my racing heart, but it feels impossible. All I can think of is that I'd almost fallen down three stories, and I would probably not have survived. When I didn't turn up in Dauntless, someone would have had to tell my mother and father. "I just need to…"

"Eva, either we jump, or we take this train all the way to Amity," Adam looks right at me, and his eyes are bluer than ever. "Your choice."

He waits for me to make the decision, his fingers curling around my arm, until I nod at him.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi Everyone!

After a ton of messages, I'm updating two chapters this week.

Have a lovely weekend, please enjoy, and thanks for reviewing!

A huge thanks to **Bamberlee** for editing!

* * *

I knew a lot of things about Adam Eaton.

I knew what he looked like when he was annoyed. When his father had said just one too many words of whatever heartfelt and well meaning lecture he thought Adam needed to hear and Adam had taken off in a fit of exasperation. I knew what he looked like when he was happy, when occasionally we'd look at each other when a teacher said something stupid or one of our friends made the same freaking joke that wasn't all that funny and only I understood his chagrin.

I knew what he looked like when he slept. As a child, I had often slept with my head against him, sometimes on his chest, or sometimes beneath his shoulders, turned to face him. I knew that he had blue eyes, dark eyelashes, and when he looked at you, he really looked at you. I knew his favorite color was anything black, mostly to hide the feelings that he didn't think anyone should see. I knew it had taken him a long time to learn to tie his shoes because he didn't care to learn such a skill, and he didn't like the dark.

He didn't like confined space, especially the playhouses that were spread throughout the daycare. He might have sat with me because I asked him to, but I knew he wanted out. Adam Eaton wanted out of a lot of things, even at a young age.

I knew what he looked like when he was nervous. When he was upset over something, usually a joke his friends made at his expense that he was forced to shrug off, or when someone teased him about his parents giving him a curfew. I knew what he looked like when he was uncomfortable, or when he'd had his fill of forced social interactions.

I also knew what he looked like when he held onto me. There was a change in his expression, something I didn't understand, and maybe never would. It was the way his eyes were darker than normal, focused right on me, like he shouldn't be looking at me. While I got that, I never understood why he kept returning, slinking back into my life when I didn't expect him to. Maybe it was out of loyalty –out of years of childhood friendship that he was holding onto for some reason, or maybe just because he didn't want my death on his hands.

Even now, I know Adam isn't entirely happy. We stand as the last two on the roof, having watched our friends plummet to the depths of the darkness, and his fingers are still wrapped around my wrist and his stare flits back and forth between me, and the edge of the building.

We stand there, just us, on the rooftop in the waning sunlight, while Jason rolls his eyes.

"You two are it. And before you ask me or wonder if it's worth jumping, there's a net at the bottom so you won't die. I know it's not exactly a secret anymore, but I figured I'd tell you in case you had forgotten what's down there."

Jason hops down off the ledge and smiles at us. He's one of my father's friends, really good friends, and he held the same rank he did. At some point in his life, Jason had started taking his job seriously. He had a wife, a woman named Meghan who worked in the administrative offices, and he took her and their marriage very seriously. My father told me they got married in a small ceremony a few years after my father married my mother for the second time. They had no children, much like Rylan, and they had no desire to have any. "It'll feel like you're falling forever, but it's over in five seconds. But uh, I'm surprised you guys are last. I thought you'd be first."

Adam nudges me forward, and I shrug.

We weren't last because we wanted to be.

We'd nearly missed the last building, and it was only by grace from above and Adam practically yanking me along with him that we had made it.

We'd landed on the roof sloppily; my foot had hit the ledge and I'd nearly knocked Adam out of the way, but we were alive. We didn't really care that people had started to jump and we wouldn't make our fathers proud by being first and second. Our other options were Amity, or death.

Which was why it felt rude and unnecessary to push ourselves to the front, and to be honest, standing in the back with Adam gave me a second to wipe off my now once again bleeding hand. It also gave Adam some time to stay close to me, his eyes on mine before someone backed out completely and asked how to get down without jumping.

"You guys gonna do it?" Jason looks at us, and he squints in the bright sun. "I was thinking maybe you were staying on the train."

"Nah," Adam laughs, and he half smiles at Jason as our moment on the train dwindles away. "We're jumping. Eva can go first."

I look up at him, and for a moment, I know that Adam Eaton had sort of secretly been hoping I'd ask him to stay on the train.

I knew this because I knew him well. I saw the way he'd looked at me, and in that moment, one pulse pounding, uneven heart beating moment, I had to admit I'd contemplated it. It was because of the look on his face. It was a sort of longing that he knew I understood. He and I could run away from Dauntless, and for a few hours, it would just be us.

No one making jokes about our names. No one telling him to be polite and quiet and kind and why wasn't he back home yet? No one knowing who we were, sort of, and no one demanding we act any certain way.

Sure, my father and his father would have eventually sent out a search party for us, and there would be one hell of an argument when we returned, but there was something appealing about starting over. About showing up at the gates of the sprawling Amity fields and blending in. My grandparents would easily take us in, and not a single person would tell Adam to stand up straighter or insist that we eat dinner with everyone else.

In that quick second, I conjured up an entire life with him. He might not have liked me in Dauntless, but perhaps living in Amity would change things. My grandpa wouldn't worry about him like his father did, and no one would insist we go to bed or check in before we left. I could see it burning behind his eyes, that had I asked him to stay on the train, he'd have done it.

But I couldn't.

I didn't want to live in Amity any more than he wanted people thinking he would one day wake up and realize he loved me.

"I'll go first. How scary can it be?" I smile at Jason, and Adam doesn't let go of me. He does look down at me, and his smile is less of a smirk. "Are you afraid?"

"No," Adams scoffs, and his eyes narrow.

He might not be afraid, but he wasn't thrilled to be leaping into the dark.

"Great!" Jason exclaims, probably ready to get off the roof. I wondered if he was jumping too, or if he had the luxury of taking the stairs. "Zander is waiting at the bottom. Good luck and hold onto your dress while you jump or it'll hit you in the face."

Adam walks forward with me, right next to me, and his fingers stay on my wrist while I step onto the ledge. He waits silently while I glance down, and I suddenly wonder how long it would take us to walk to Amity.

I wasn't afraid of a lot of things. The dark didn't bother me. Heights didn't bother me. Jumping didn't bother me. But there's an ominous feeling to standing on the ledge of the roof, staring down at the mouth of the abyss.

"Just…hold your breath. I swear, if you count to five, you'll be down there before you get to four." Jason encourages me brightly, and Adam looks up at me.

For once, I am taller.

Not by much, but just enough.

"See you down there, Eva."

Adam lets go of me, and his voice has a hint of finality to it.

I think of this as I step off the roof with one foot, and I fall before I can blink. My brain works hard to count rather than panic, and it fights against the rush of absolute fear as I feel myself fall.

Jason was right. I don't get very far. I only make it to three before I hit the net. When I look up, the light pouring in from above is more blinding than ever, and there is no sight of Adam.

* * *

I'm not the only girl initiate.

I'd heard the story of my mother's time here, and it's clear that hers won't be repeated. I won't be shipped away from Zander to another fearless leader, nor will that leader fall in love with me so much that he marries me before I've made it through the training.

My fate is something else.

Something along the lines of being squished between Kat and Pink, vying for a spot to watch Zander prowl around in front of us. I catch sight of him eyeballing everyone, probably trying to figure out who would bail before the end of the night, and he winks when he spies me.

My uncle was something else.

For starters, he wasn't even born here.

I had asked my mother how he could train the Dauntless born, and she sort of avoided answering the question. The gist of it was they were short a trainer when the old one, some girl named Lauren –shockingly, the only person in the faction my mother didn't seem to really like, hightailed it out of Dauntless to elope with someone in Candor.

It was a scandal that rocked Dauntless for a solid hour, because no one really cared. After my father marrying my mother while training her and my grandfather leaving Dauntless to live with my grandmother in Amity, Lauren leaving wasn't that big of a deal. My mom explained some other stuff had happened, and by the time the news broke that Lauren was gone, they simply filled the position on a rotating basis until Zander arrived.

He wasn't that much older than me, and I'd seen him around Amity, counting the literal minutes until he could get out. It wasn't that he hated Amity or my grandparents, but he was obsessed with the Dauntless faction. He thrived off the order and darkness of it, and when he was little, he'd loved my father more than anyone on this Earth.

My grandma loved to tell me this.

She said it was pretty funny. My father would show up in his dark uniform and his slicked hair, and he would sulk and scowl and stomp through the faction with a vengeance. He liked to pretend being there was physical torture for him. He didn't like the kindness of the faction or the slowness of it. She told me how he only ever relaxed when he was with my mother, and it was through her that he learned he could like those things, and no one gave a shit.

My grandma didn't care about his pretentious act. She saw through his general disdain of life, and she gave him a shot. She went out of her way to slowly and slyly get to know him, all without my mother noticing.

My grandmother loved this part of the story best. She said she knew who my dad was, and because of her own experiences in life, she'd barely blinked when she learned her daughter had been married months after changing factions.

Anyone else might have panicked.

I'd heard from everyone in the faction who liked to tell me this story –which was everyone, that my mother was the only person my father ever truly liked. I'd heard the tales of how he walked with her, sometimes looking like he was dragging her through the faction, but always staring to make sure she was there. I heard how he kept her near him, determined to make her rank first even though it should have proven impossible.

My grandmother heard these stories as well, which was why she was fine with their marriage.

She also liked my dad, because Zander liked him. At first, it seemed like the sort of situation that would blow up in everyone's face. My father had grown up as an only child, and from what I heard, he was always alone. My grandpa worked endless hours at the hospital and to take his place, he'd hired someone to watch him. To the surprise of no one, my father grew up to have no patience for the extended families in Amity, or mischievous children. He couldn't fathom being raised in such a lackadaisical manner, and he cringed at the lack of order and sheer number of kids crammed around the table.

To his further horror, he wound up the unfortunate victim of Zander's affection.

And how Zander adored him.

He drew pictures of the two of them together. He asked to be called Eric. He wore only black, and he practiced jumping off things in hopes that Eric would see him. He begged my grandmother to let him see the trains, the trucks, even the horses. Of course, she drew the line when he demanded a tattoo at the age of five. Anything to get him to Dauntless, anything that would get him one step closer to his dream life.

The best part about this hero worship was my father grew to understand Zander.

Zander was the youngest of a big family, and he wasn't at all happy when his reign came to an end with my birth. My parents didn't live in Amity, nor were they staying long, but Zander wasn't pleased that I was in his space, nor that my father's attention wasn't on him. But my dad got this. I guess he'd spent a good chunk of time with Zander over the years, and the two of them had bonded enough that when Zander showed up in Dauntless, my father was there to welcome him.

It was everything they both wanted. My father did everything to make sure Zander had a place here, and Zander did everything and then some to make a name for himself. He was offered the position after he ran circles around the transfers trainer, and no one ever questioned where he was from.

"Alright, listen up! We're on a strict schedule. Since you're all from here, you know where everything is. I'll show you where you'll be sleeping, the schedule you'll be following, and where you can ditch anything that won't serve you here. Remember, it doesn't matter who you are now, but who you're going to be."

Zander looks out at all of us, and he grins. "Besides, I know all your parents. If you act like assholes, they'll know."

"Great," Gunner groans, and Aja snickers. "That seems like a threat."

"It is," Zander announces brightly. "You're up against the transfers and this year's bunch looks tough. So do us all a favor and don't screw around. This training will go by fast, and before you know it, you'll either be working alongside the patrol squads, or working your way back into the faction. Everyone got it?"

He looks out at all of us, waiting until everyone nods. I know a lot of the boys and girls surrounding me, and there's a hint of competition where there never once was. Aja throws Adam a few dark glances, frowning when Adam doesn't even notice him. Gunner looks back at me, smiling, and I smile back out of sheer politeness.

I wasn't dumb. I knew what he was thinking: that there was no chance I'd flunk out of this initiation, and if there was anyone to partner up with, it would be Adam or me.

But Adam isn't looking at him, nor is he even paying attention to his friends.

He's staring at Zander, knowing full well we'd both attended Zander's birthday extravaganzas in Amity year after year. They were epic; they were thrown by my grandfather as he did his best to make up for Zander feeling left out. Which meant huge parties, lots of people, and a few rickety, definitely not safe, rides that Rylan nearly lost his mind over.

At some point, Adam had quit coming. He'd made it crystal clear that going to the birthday party of some random kid in Amity wasn't his thing, and he looks like he regrets that now.

Especially when Zander looks at him, tilting his head in recognition at the boy who once deemed him not cool enough to celebrate, and he smiles.

Widely.

* * *

"Well, this sucks."

Kat flops down on the bed next to mine, and she surveys the room with a wrinkled nose. "They really expect us to sleep here? With everyone?"

"How is everyone supposed to sleep in one room? One loud person will keep everyone up," Pink agrees, throwing her bag onto the top bunk above Kat's. "This space is depressing, too."

I glance around, and she's not wrong. I suddenly miss the pink walls of my bedroom and the overly soft comforter. Zander had given us the world's shortest and fastest tour of the faction before he led us downstairs. He announced we'd be staying together, and while _he_ was excited, he was met with silence.

For good reasons.

This room was bleak; it was meant to remind us that we were being trained to be soldiers here, and soldiers didn't get luxurious living quarters.

"You guys sound like a bunch of whiny bitches," the girl walking by announces nastily, but her tone changes when she realizes around the corner is a section of open showers. "Wait WHAT?! What is this? I can't shower here! Is…is this it?"

"_You're_ all whiny. And it _is _it!" Zander announces triumphantly, showing up out of nowhere. He grins again, and he oozes with annoying glee. "This is where you'll be staying. Dinner is at five. You'll have tonight free, but we start tomorrow at eight. Show up ready to work out."

"These are really the showers?" The girl looks close to hyperventilating, and Zander rolls his eyes.

"Calm down. Thanks to a few complaints, there are shower curtains being delivered tonight. You can thank our leaders for that. One of them agreed it was cruel to have zero privacy, so Quinten should be by to hang them up. Just remember, it's just a shower, not a day spa."

"I'm not asking for a day spa. Just somewhere to wash my hair in peace." The girl whirls around, and I realize I know her. Her name is Rachel, and her parents both worked as Patrol Leaders. It wasn't an extremely high-ranking position, but she often acted like it was. I guess neither of them had told her she'd be washing her hair with a hundred other people. "The guy from the mess hall doubles as our maintenance man?"

Zander stares at her, his expression unusually patient.

She should be terrified.

Because Zander loved Dauntless, he also loved the people in it. He also had a weird knack for wanting to know the people who others didn't. He'd become fast friends with the ones who were often overlooked: the maintenance crews, the security for levels that barely saw anyone, the mechanics who worked on the trucks, the night shift in the control room, and Quinten.

Turns out, if you were friends with these people, you were unstoppable.

"What's your name again?" Zander steps closer to her, and he knows damn well what her name is. Her eyes widen in horror at her mistake, and she steps back. It looks cowardly, and it is. "Rachel?"

"Uh, yes."

She looks like she's regretting life, and she should feel that way.

"Gotcha. I'll remember that." Zander smiles, then eyes Kat and Pink and I. When I was little, I vaguely remember him having dark hair that hung in his eyes. His hair is still dark, and now the sides are short and the middle is long. It's arranged haphazardly, meant to look casual but also edgy, and I never once thought a mohawk would suit him.

I can still remember him beaming when he'd opened my father's birthday gift to him, and my grandmother looking horrified that he'd been given an actual rifle to hunt with.

"See you all at dinner."

"Your uncle is intense," Kat announces, leaning back to sprawl out on her bed. She pushes her palms over her eyes and sighs. "I'm dead tired already. I barely slept last night."

"Me too," I agree, and I wonder what my mom and dad are doing. By now, they'd know I was here. I had the urge to go find them, even just for a second. But the thought of laying here is far more appealing than trekking through Dauntless and all the way upstairs. "I kept dreaming I'd missed the ceremony."

"Oh well, your dad would have just let you stay here anyway," Pink points out, and she climbs onto the top bunk easily. She sits there for a moment, surveying the area. "We have a good spot. This area is oddly…deserted. I do have a good view of Zander jumping up the stairs."

"I'm sure he'll calm down. He just really loves this faction," I answer, and I lean back to lie down. "He's sort of…nuts about it. At least he knows us."

"Yeah, nuts is right." Rachel mutters, and I open one eye to see her still standing there. She's lingering by my bed, having gone no further once Zander talked to her. "I was hoping we'd get Karl."

"He's training the transfers, I think. Zander is the Dauntless born trainer." I close my eyes, and I don't quite remember who was in charge of the transfers. It felt like I'd heard my dad talking about it a long time ago, and I decide it's not that important. From what I had heard, we wouldn't see them that much.

Besides, it would feel incredibly odd to be up against others from another faction. Like they were coming to invade our home, and there was nothing we could do about it.

"Eva…"

I hear Pink mumble my name, but she doesn't say anything else.

Nor does Kat.

Nor does Rachel.

Everyone must fall asleep or walk away, because the next thing I know, someone is shaking my shoulder, telling me we're about to be late for dinner.

* * *

"Did you all fall asleep?"

Gunner stares at me, and I blink back at him. He keeps staring, until Adam drops into the seat beside him, and Aja sits down on the other side.

"Yeah, I guess," I look back at him, wishing he'd look elsewhere. I had fallen asleep, but rather than feeling better from my nap, I woke up not even knowing what day it was. Out of some act of pure and weird kindness, Rachel had woken us up. I opened my eyes to her face, pinched in panic, and her hissing at me that we'd be late. I wasn't sure when we had become friendly enough for her to be concerned, but I wasn't awake enough to care.

I wanted to wave her off. I could wander into the kitchens at any time and get dinner, but she probably didn't have that option.

So I slid off the bed, threw my hair up in a bun, and followed her, Kat, and Pink to the mess hall. The four of us walked along in a group, and we heard the noise before we arrived. I immediately knew it wasn't just us at dinner, but the entire faction had shown up. They were there to welcome us, even if we weren't all staying. We had hurried, not wanting to get stuck without somewhere to sit, and luckily found a few empty tables toward the middle. We were quickly joined by others from our class, namely Gunner, Adam, and Aja, and their presence should have been a relief.

It felt somewhat overwhelming in here.

The mess hall was incredibly large, but today it was jam packed. Members spilled out from everywhere, and the noise level was deafening. Some seemed to like it. Gunner had been watching everyone with a gleam in his eye, and I knew he felt pretty honored to be here. Next to me, Rachel looked pale and sick, like maybe this had been a mistake.

"Were all you guys really sleeping?" Gunner tries to sound casual, but he's drowned out by the chanting. It takes me a second to realize it's Zander's name, and he enters the mess hall with more dramatics than Rylan. He walks through like everyone is here to see him, followed by Karl.

Karl, my second but just as good godfather, finds me in the crowd immediately. He waves, as though that isn't embarrassing at all, then bounces away to catch up to Zander. They're both followed by the Leaders here, and everyone respectfully screams louder.

"Your dad looks good. Did he do something different to his hair?" Kat elbows me, and I groan, shaking my head. "Eva, just…we all know he's married. I just said he looks good. I like his jacket."

"It's the same jacket everyone has," Aja points out, and he looks around quickly. "Are we eating soon? I'm starving."

"They said in a minute," Rachel answers, and her eyes are glued to the Leaders walking through the middle of the room. They aren't an unusual sight around here. My father is strolling along with my mother, and for once, she has her actual uniform jacket on. It's over a dress and a pair of ballet flats, but she looks official enough. Behind them walks Mr. Eaton, his wife, Karl's wife holding onto the hands of their twins, Jason and his wife, then Rylan and Christina. Christina finds me in the crowd and nearly hyperventilates, but Rylan quickly shoves her toward Mrs. Eaton and Charlotte, and they leave with my mother. "Does anyone else feel oddly nervous? I was fine this morning but now I feel like I could throw up."

"It's because of everyone in here. Look at the transfers. They look like they're in over their heads." I point a few tables over, where the transfers are busy gaping at everything. The high ceilings, the dark lighting, the innumerable amount of members coming in and out. "That one on the end looks terrified."

"He's from Amity," Adam answers dully, sounding bored out of his skull. "I'm surprised you don't remember him, Eva."

Adam says my name with a hint of something behind it, and it's not anything nice. Our time together from earlier must have fizzled out, because he looks right at me, and smirks. "Do you remember him?"

"No, how would I know him?" I stare back at him, and I decide to end this game real quick. "Do _you_ know him? You spent just as much time there as I did. Maybe more. Didn't you ask your dad to stay a few summers ago? Something about…you'd be fine with Grandpa Harrison."

"What…are you serious?" Gunner laughs, slapping Adam as though this were the funniest thing he'd ever heard. While the Amity faction was no longer the butt of every joke, it wasn't Dauntless, and wanting to stay there, no matter whose grandpa you were visiting, was not cool. "You wanted to stay there? Why?"

"I didn't," Adam hisses, and he knows he most certainly _did_ want to stay there.

In fact, he had.

"Sure, Adam" I answer, and I'm interrupted by a man slamming down a plate of food in front of us. On it, is a neatly arranged dinner spread, including hot dogs, hamburgers, and several side dishes. He then quickly passes out plates and tells us to enjoy before he moves on to the next table. "I must have confused you with someone else."

"Well, let's eat…" Rachel says brightly, gingerly reaching for a plate. She hesitates for only a moment, before picking up a hamburger. "Come on. Who even cares about Amity? If either of you wanted to go there, you would have."

Adam shakes his head, annoyed as ever, and he doesn't look at me for the rest of dinner.

Just like on the train, I feel the strange start of something. The changes are coming, creeping up and taking over, and I know this one won't be the last.

Too bad for Adam. As much as he knows every one of my secrets, I know almost every single one of his.

* * *

When I was five, my father tried to help me fix my hair.

To be fair to him, it was quite the challenge. My mother had never cut it, and my father didn't see any reason to cut, either. It was long, much longer than the other five year olds in my class, and everyone thought it was the best thing ever. The other girls were pretty jealous; it wasn't very straight but it was very pretty, and everyone knew it. They also knew that it never stayed in place. It was often in my face or getting pulled on by someone.

The first day my mother put it in a ponytail. Then a bun. Then braided it. This worked out well, until on Friday, she went to work early so my father had to get me ready.

"Hold still. I can't comb your hair if you're wiggling around."

My father stared down at me, scowling in the mirror as I moved my head the exact opposite way he wanted me to. His hands were large, grasping most of my hair in one hand while he tried to brush it with the other.

"Ow, that hurt!"

I had shrieked at him, because while he didn't mean to, he was pulling my hair harder than he realized. He tried his best. For fifteen minutes we stood there, me dressed in a pink dress with black shoes, and him in his uniform. He started to get sweaty around twenty minutes, and by thirty minutes, I had the most lopsided, loosest ponytail there ever was. He stared at it, watching it slide down my head, and he swore.

Loudly.

"You aren't supposed to say bad words," I reminded him, then I glanced in the mirror. "Daddy!"

My dad was great. He could do a lot of things.

He could type quickly. He could boss people around at all hours of the night. He could command and order our soldiers to protect others, and they would. He held me when I got sick of walking and threw me in the air when my mother wasn't looking.

So a ponytail shouldn't have been that hard.

"Eva, it's fine..." he started to say, but his eyes were defeated. This hulking father of mine, having never really lost before, was suddenly the loser of putting his daughter's hair in a ponytail. "You know what, I'll call Tris. Stay here."

I didn't stay there.

I followed him out to the living room, then next door, where Adam's mom patiently fixed my hair for me.

Her ponytail was far better than my father's but not better than my mother's.

"Good?" My dad looked at me, and I smiled up at him. "Eva?"

"Yes!" I hugged him, pleased that my ponytail was no longer falling down my head and contained almost all of my hair, but I really didn't care that he hadn't been able to accomplish such a feat. "Come on. We're going to be late!"

He smiled at me, really smiled, because we were already late. We were super late, actually.

But it didn't matter.

It was more time that I got to spend with him, and no one would dare mark Evangelina Coulter down for being late.

* * *

Except for Zander.

Zander will most definitely mark Evangelina Coulter down for being late.

He tells me this when I walk into the training room, a mere two seconds behind Kat.

"I have to be fair. Obviously, we know you'll stay here. And obviously, there are already a few exceptions being made. Your father and I already talked about your initiation. He doesn't want you to get hurt, nor does he want to see any blood. I've agreed to his terms, but I can't ignore you strolling in here late."

"It's 7:58, Zander," I point out dryly, smiling up at my uncle. His eyes were wild today, brimming with excitement at how this would go. I had watched a few initiations with Rylan and Jason, sitting on their knees while I watched people get punched in the face. Jason could always guess who would go down first, and Rylan could always guess who would cry. "My father should relax. I don't want anyone to think I get to stay here because of him. I know how to fight just fine."

Zander laughs. He laughs so hard he coughs, and shoves my arm away when I slap him on the back. "You're so funny, Eva. He's coming down here later. He wants to check things out."

"Doesn't he have actual work to do?" I mumble, joining Kat, Pink, and Rachel. Rachel smiles nervously, and she still looks like she might throw up. "Are you guys ready?"

"No," Kat answers, and rolls her head from side to side. "I slept like shit, and I have a feeling today is going to be rough."

"It is!" Zander overhears her, and he looks pleased. "It's the first day. Just wait till you see what you're in for."

"Wonderful," Kat mutters, but she falls in line with everyone else. "I'm more nervous than I've ever been."

"You'll be fine," Pink reassures her, but even she looks stressed.

Zander waits for everyone to line up, and he walks with his hands behind his back. There are far more of us than I remember, and the line is a blur of everyone dressed in black. I expect more chaos to it, but everyone seems to get that he means business.

"Alright listen up!" Zander yells, grinning widely. "Today is the first day of the rest of your life! Everyone do me a favor and give it your all today. Trust me, you'll thank me later. We're heading outside in a few minutes, and we're about to pass by the transfers, so look alive people!" He pauses just for a moment. "And since I never said it before and even though you already live here, welcome to Dauntless!"

His words are met by a few moments of heavy silence as they sink in. A moment later, someone whistles loudly, and all hell breaks loose as the transfers enter the training room.

* * *

"You're gonna have to run faster than that."

Adam crashes into me, on purpose.

I scowl from beneath a ponytail reminiscent of my father's work, and I try to catch up to him. He has the advantage of being taller than me, and his stride isn't anything less than graceful.

I swear at him when he looks back and has the audacity to wink.

I took after neither of my parents. My mother loved running. She and my father often went for runs that had them coming home, snickering at each other and practically tripping over one another as they went to take a shower. My father could run for hours, and he only slowed to let my mother keep up with him.

I didn't hate running, but I didn't love it.

I certainly didn't love it as much as Zander, who was currently making us jog what felt like the entire length of the city.

"Funny," I mutter, and somehow, I do catch up to him. I pass him, just for a second, before Gunner shoves me out of his way and right into Adam.

"What the fuck man!"

Adam also swears, because not only do I trip and knock him down, he knocks down Aja, prancing along beside him, Rachel, trying to keep up with Aja, Kat, Pink, and a few others. There's a squeal as one of the transfers hits his shin on a rock, and a few people swear as they trip going around the commotion. Gunner turns around in sheer surprise, but the real winner here is Adam.

My head hits his on the fall down, and for one second, we wince at each other for all new reasons.

"Your friend is a jerk. We're going to be last," I inform him, and he looks right at me. His lips turn up, and I feel his hands come around to hold onto my waist. I'm half sitting on him, half trying to move my leg out from beneath Aja. Aja laughs while Rachel tries to shove him off her, and the only one not really laughing, is Zander.

He's stopped in his tracks to turn and look at us with obvious annoyed horror.

I can see his dreams of training the most amazing class ever dwindling. Aja finally stands up, his feet still tangled with mine, and turns to help Rachel. She takes his hand slowly, like she doesn't trust him. They look at each other, his dark hair covered with dirt and debris, and her blond hair completely out of the braid she'd put it in, and I swear they have a moment while we all can't move.

Zander watches all of this. He watches as they don't particularly hurry, at least until Adam kicks his friend.

"Aja, move. Eva can't get up until you get out of the way."

"Sorry!" Aja blurts out, and his oddly romantic moment is interrupted. He shrugs, looking almost sheepish, then steps aside. "Uh we gotta hurry. Zander doesn't look happy."

"No shit," I shake my head, but I don't move.

Because Adam hasn't let go.

"Adam," I start to say, but I lose my train of thought. He smiles at me, really smiles, before he moves my hair out of my eyes, to look at my head. It feels like there's probably a bump forming, and if my father is somehow watching, he's probably already leapt to his feet for a few reasons.

"I think you'll live."

Adam grins, and a second later he helps us both stand up. His hand stays on my waist until the very last minute, and he only lets go to catch back up to Gunner.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Happy reading🙂

* * *

"I'm Devon."

"I'm Devin."

"I'm RYLan and you all need to be on the other side of the room. Now."

Rylan stares down the two boys who had wandered over to introduce themselves, and he waits with his arms crossed over his chest until they trek back to Karl's class. They look back once, and he eyes them darkly, as though their mere presence pained him. I stand there in silence, until he looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

"Eva…"

"Rylan…" I stand next to him, with my arms crossed over my chest, and he sighs.

"Look, I know you think I'm being…overprotective…"

"Overbearing," I interrupt, and he looks at me with complete exasperation.

"Those boys were…"

"Coming over to say hello. Because Karl told our classes we should introduce ourselves. He said there's a lot of rivalry between the transfers and the Dauntless born, and he's working to make it so everyone knows who they're up against. He said he and Zander want an even playing field." I announce, only because I know why Rylan is over here, inserting himself between me and any male who came within a thirty-foot radius.

Because he and my father had shown up after lunch, and I could practically see them counting all the initiates. They eyeballed them up and down, taking a quick mental inventory of who everyone was, and how well they thought they'd rank. They also came over to me, saying hello to Pink and Kat, and none of us escaped their inspection. I figured they'd stay all day if they could, and my father only left because something was on fire and he was the only one willing to go see why.

Next to me, Rylan considers what I've said, but he still shakes his head. "That's hardly an even playing field. Zander is like, half Karl's age and he has everyone here who's been training for this since day one. The transfers are…not quite there. Not yet."

I nod in agreement.

So far, we'd spent our morning outside with Zander.

Rather than breaking us in slowly, he really went for it. We'd only seen the transfers as we took off running, but that was it. They were left behind when we quickly passed them, and for the next few hours, Zander kept us running. But not just running around the city and randomly stopping so Zander could point out landmarks that would be important for us to know, but running to a destination and then completing some task to see where our strengths and weaknesses lie.

The first few exercises were fun.

I could easily scale the walls he wanted us to climb over, and I had no issues pulling myself up over the rough, jagged edges of the broken-down ramps. I excelled when he had us jump and pull ourselves up, and I only mildly broke a sweat when we ran in groups, up and down the ancient, desolate parking structures in a weird relay. We took a quick break for lunch, which was delivered by a smiling TJ and a few others from the kitchens, and I stretched out in the sunlight with Kat and Pink.

It felt good. The air was warmer than it had been, even though Jason had been ranting about climate change and how bad it was, and for a blissful forty-five minutes, I sat and giggled with my friends. To anyone passing by these abandoned streets, it would seem like choosing Dauntless had been a breeze. Kat and I split our sandwiches in half and swapped with each other, and Pink chose to eat her lunch as fast as possible and then take a nap.

A few feet away, Adam, Gunner, and Aja ate their lunch.

Rachel was sitting with a few other girls from our class, but her gaze kept flying to me. I knew she felt odd; her posture was a dead giveaway, but when I waved her over, she shook her head and half smiled.

She hadn't done noteably well at any of this. It wasn't that you had to be the strongest person in our class, but you had to make it through the physical stages to move on to the next ones. I had been lucky enough that my father, uncles, godfathers, mother, and even Christian had encouraged me to keep a careful eye on what the initiates did. I might not have been overly prepared like some, but I had a feeling I'd be alright.

After that, we'd run even further.

We leapt over the crumbling medians and uneven streets, and he'd lost a few to twisted ankles and bruised egos. The girls had an easier time running and leaping over the structures, but the boys were clearly stronger. Only Pink came close, and everyone else seemed more or less the same.

Capable, but not excelling in any of this.

Not yet at least.

The afternoon had brought us back inside, where Karl and Zander had given everyone some time to see who we were up against. Just like the first time I thought about them, I found the transfers oddly aggressive and too invasive for my liking. I suppose I felt a territorial defensiveness over my home, and I disliked the way they seemed to trample over everything to get what they wanted.

Including close to me.

The next wave is braver, and one of the boys lingers. He's tall, with tanned skin that tells me he's been outside for most of his days, and fit enough that I know he's worked outside, too. Probably something with the livestock, or maybe in the fields.

It hits me a second too late that I know him, and he knows me.

"Hey, Eva. Long time no see."

He wanders way too close until he can extend his hand, and it's then he reminds me his name is Vinny. It's also then when Rylan loses his mind.

"Absolutely not. Get back to the other side of the room." Rylan all but shoves him away, but Vinny shakes his head and slickly avoids Rylan.

"Relax, I just came to say hi. Eva and I grew up together. Her grandpa taught me how to fish," Vinny winks, but it doesn't come off as cool as he's hoping. It looks more like he has something stuck in his eye, and I work very hard not to laugh.

"How is my grandpa? Is he okay? Did you see him before you left?"

Vinny nods. He's pleased to have made this easy connection and it shows. He blocks Rylan, still glowering and whispering that Vinny was a terrible name, and he stops right in front of me.

"He's good. He just started a new lookout program in Amity. He's trying to get some of the men to help monitor the faction. Kinda like the Dauntless guards, but less…uh… less aggressive. More just…surveying the land in case anything weird happens." Vinny looks at me, and I remember him well. He and I had spent some time hanging out with Pink and Kat, and he'd always been very polite. "He said if he can, he'll come visit on visiting day since my dad probably can't. But I hope he does. He's one of my favorites."

I find myself smiling.

Not at him, but at his words.

My grandfather in Amity was one of my favorites, too.

I'd quickly learned that he and I had a special bond, and he seemed to understand me better than anyone else. My grandfather in Erudite was great, too. I always felt bad comparing them, because there was no comparison. Both loved me with a fierceness that rivaled only my father's, but Grandpa Harrison _got_ me. He knew how to make me smile when I was down, and he knew just exactly what stories to tell when I wasn't in the mood for whatever drama was going on.

I could listen to him for hours.

He told the most fascinating tales, and best of all -they were all true. At least, he swore they were true. My father said no one could validate the ones about the creatures he went hunting for, nor could anyone confirm that he'd single handedly hacked into every single computer system in each faction and destroyed whatever information he didn't want to get out. He was a wealth of knowledge, a mystery that only revealed small clues for me to figure out, and best of all, he didn't ever ask me what boy had been talking to me.

He probably assumed the answer was none, but still.

"I hope he does, too. I'd love to see him." I grin, thinking that if my grandpa came, I could probably finagle lunch with him. Maybe even dinner.

"I'll keep you updated, Eva," Vinny smiles back at me, and two steps away, I notice that a few people are staring.

One of them is Adam.

His eyes have darkened, and he's all but glaring at Vinny. He watches him walk away from me, and when he turns his head, Adam and I wind up staring at each other. For longer than should be comfortable, and in that moment, something changes. I realize I've never seen him look quite like this. His expression is both pissed off and annoyed, and it only lessens when I blink at him.

When I blink again, he's right beside me, and he drags me back with him. Rylan is still there, still protesting how close _Vinny_ is to _Vincent_, but I have no clue what he's ranting about. I only focus on Adam's hand on my elbow as he walks us to the water fountain.

"Are you okay?" I ask, staring up while he glares as Vinny retreats. "Did something happen?"

"He's using you," Adam announces, sharper than I've ever heard him speak. "They all know who you are. I overheard him and his friends talking and they think you've got an in. Which you do, but they're hoping if you like one of them enough, you'll help them get an easy job after this is over. He doesn't give a shit about your grandpa."

My mood immediately sours.

This was something that came up often. Most people assumed if they were nice to my face, at some point, I'd get my father to give them whatever their heart desired. Few realized this was far from true. If there was anything my father liked less than people trying to take advantage of him, it was people trying to take advantage of me.

"Are you serious? I thought he was just being nice." I stare at Adam, waiting for him to tell me he's just kidding. "I mean, I _did_ know him from Amity. But not well enough to like…get him a job here."

"Yeah, well he's not just being nice. He's got a few ulterior motives." Adam's face tenses up, and he runs his fingers through his hair, pushing it back off his face. "Just…be careful. You can't trust anyone out there."

"Not even you?" I ask, and I find myself stepping right in front of him. His expression changes to surprise as he shakes his head. "I thought we were…"

"Were what?" he asks, and suddenly, I'm back on the rooftop with him. He's all I can see, and his eyes zero right in on mine, bluer than ever. "Adam and Eva? Friends forever?"

His tone is funny, and not in a comical way.

I find myself suddenly hyper aware of him, and I'm not sure why. It must be the way he's acting, one minute holding onto me and the next minute acting like I don't exist. Maybe it was the universe telling me I should pay attention to him, because if I did, I'd notice the way he's biting down so tightly that his jaw looks tense, and his eyes have narrowed at me.

His expression softens when I reach for him, flashing surprise for only a moment.

This time, I'm the one to touch his wrist, and my fingers press against his skin as Zander calls for everyone to come join him at the punching bags. I haven't held onto him since I was a child, but I get the appeal. I have the odd urge to slide my palm flat against his, even just for a second. I'd held his hand when we were little, but I wonder what it would feel like now. I dismiss the thought as quickly as it comes, and I chalk it up to being a little out of sorts from this day.

"You tell me, Adam."

I let go of him, making my way over to the training class. It takes him a second to catch up to me, and I can't help but think I was wrong, wrong about everything.

I knew a lot about Adam Eaton, but maybe I didn't know all his secrets.

* * *

I do know that he can punch.

When we were nine, Adam punched a kid in the face.

In other factions, using violence to solve your problems was frowned upon. But Dauntless parents had a different definition of being good and bad. Had Adam had anyone else as his mother and father, they would have been proud of him. Probably laughed at the report that was sent home and gone out to celebrate that their offspring had turned out just fine.

Since he had Mr. and Mrs. Eaton for his parents, they were horrified. They had done their best to instill the value in him that there were steps to take before fighting someone, though they were rare in this thinking. In a faction that solved most of its arguments with their fists, their logic was quickly dismissed by Adam because it seemed pretty lame. No one here used their words when smacking someone worked just as well.

Adam had already learned the first lesson of Dauntless and that lesson was no one would mess with you if you showed them they couldn't.

So on a day when he heard my name spoken in a sing-songish voice one too many times, he snapped.

He turned around and punched the kid straight in the face. There was an immediate flood of blood, surprising both Adam and the boy. The kid screamed, and within minutes, we were all taken to the office of our headmaster. Which sounded scary, but really, the guy wasn't terrifying at all. He was a friend of Karl's who insisted upon that title, and he patiently waited while Adam carefully explained what had happened. To his credit, the headmaster was patient. He understood Adam's frustration and held the kid accountable for what had happened, but we all went home with a report for our parents to sign.

My mom signed mine, then frowned and called my dad. He read it when he got home, then told me if anyone ever dared to make fun of me, I had every right to punch them in the face and he would back me on this. They didn't really talk much to me about it, but they did have the Eatons over later. We all ate a very tense dinner, and Adam spent most of his time looking somewhere to the side of me. Eventually, he was allowed to go home and I went to bed.

His parents stayed for a while. I caught bits and pieces of what they were talking about, but it seemed like a pretty secretive conversation, and my assumption was Adam was going to be in major trouble for acting out.

I didn't understand until a few years later, when I found the note shoved inside a book my mother must have been reading at the time. It was a sloppily written and lengthy note, but the gist of it was Adam hadn't been defending himself. He'd been defending me. The kid had been making fun of me, telling everyone that I'd begged my parents to force Adam to marry me, because no one else ever would.

This wasn't unheard of.

Even at the age of nine I was pretty immune to it. If the best insult was for me to marry someone, I felt bad for their love life.

But it wasn't a common thing. I was nice to everyone, and these little jokes usually came from the kids Adam was friends with. I could never figure out why they seemed to zero in on that particular theme, but my mother swore they were just jealous. The kids of two of the head leaders were friends, and they didn't have that.

I sat with the note for a long time, thinking that Adam had barely even looked at me, and he'd accepted whatever punishment his father had given him. It wasn't anything major, and I had the gut feeling my father had tried to talk Mr. Eaton out of it. In fact, I knew he did. I wandered out to get a drink and overheard my dad telling him he should let this one go, that Adam really hadn't been doing anything he himself wouldn't have done.

It didn't work.

I guess my father wasn't the chosen one when it came to parenting advice, so the Eatons followed through with Adam getting in trouble at school. His punishment wasn't anything crazy. It was something along the lines of losing the privilege of going out with his friends or they took an hour off his curfew, but it was enough to further the growing canyon between Adam and I.

I don't think he ever really forgave his parents, because he had been trying to be a good person, and it wound up getting him in trouble.

Today, he punches with that same anger.

Pink, Kat, and I stand there, watching him punch the bag over and over. His form is exactly what Zander had just shown us. It's clean and precise, and he punches with a control that most of us lack. It's mesmerizing to look at, and even I have to agree he's impressive.

"Okay…okay, Kat you were right. He's hot and he's clearly going to take this initiation." Pink watches him with wide eyes, ignoring Kat chewing on her lip when Adam steps back. His attention is solely focused on the bag, and he misses her ogling more than his punching form.

"Ladies, let's get to work! I need to see at least twenty minutes of this practice. If anyone has any questions, I'll be by to help you."

Zander interrupts their staring, and it's only then Adam realizes he's being watched.

But he ignores Pink and he ignores Kat.

He looks only at me, right as he wipes off his forehead, and Kat swoons at the thought of touching a sweaty Adam.

* * *

It only gets tougher.

I suppose it's fitting for every aspect of my life, because I find myself thrown into this training full force. Even the preparation I've had wasn't enough to make this easy. My muscles ache and burn in places that I wasn't aware could, and my appetite is either ravenous, or so wearily exhausted that I'd rather sleep than eat dinner. My hair is either wet from the world's fastest shower when everyone is mostly asleep or in my face, having air dried while I slept. I have the odd feeling of not knowing what time it is but being expected to know what time it is. Then there's Zander, watching me like a hawk but playing it off like he's not.

All of this swirls around in my mind, especially as I listen to Kat and Pink talk at night. Their emotions run just as high as my unspoken ones. It was only the fourth night we'd been here, but it felt like ages, and it was starting to get to everyone.

I understood what they were feeling, but I was too tired to chime in. I got the bursts of brave happiness that came from doing this on our own. We may not have been at the very top of the rankings, but we were trying. No one was rigging the scoreboard or tweaking anything. Zander scored us like he scored everyone else, and I got the feeling he sometimes wanted to help us.

But he was fair, and we understood that it would look awfully suspicious any other way.

I also understood the way Pink and Kat felt nostalgic for a time that was mere days ago but felt like another lifetime. I, too, longed for my few nights with Adam on the roof, and the warm, happy days with my parents. I hadn't seen my mother at all, and by the fourth night, this gets to me.

I miss my dad, too, but I'd seen him at least. He seemed to have ample time to wander downstairs, but my mother's job took her out of the faction.

Tonight, I lie in my bed, blinking at the empty bunk above me and wondering if she was sleeping. I wonder if they'd watched TV tonight, in a quiet apartment, all alone. Did they eat dinner at Clyde's or did my dad make it? Did they debate back and forth about what movie to watch, only to have my mother fall asleep on my father, and him fall asleep with his hands in her hair, holding her against him.

Did they miss me? Did they think I was alive?

Well, they knew I was alive.

Rylan was making sure of that.

"I just want…someone to make me macaroni and cheese and bring it to me. With one of those sodas with extra ice. I want my mom to make me brownies and tell me that I'm doing great…" Pink, the least likely of us to blurt out anything, is suddenly homesick despite being only a few floors away from her old home. "And I want to sleep in my own bed and not have to punch anything…"

"Me too," Kat answers, and her voice is wobbly.

I close my eyes tightly.

The first night I'd slept fine, because I was so exhausted I couldn't see straight. The second night was okay. The bed was smaller than I was used to, and even though I was fairly certain my own pillow had been snuck down here, it made my neck hurt. The third night was one of the worst, because I felt the heavy pull of just wanting to be home. It was crushing, more appealing than making it here as a soldier, because we all knew home was within arm's reach. The fourth night was proving impossible to sleep, especially as the hours grew later and later.

I wondered if the transfers felt like this.

"Eva, are you okay?"

"I'm alright," I answer Kat, and I sit up suddenly. "Actually, I'm going to get a drink. Does anyone want anything?"

"No."

They both answer at the same time, and I smile as I climb out of bed. I felt like I was stuck at some very physically intensive and never-ending slumber party. I leave them both sniffling, doing their best to pretend this was fine, and it was. Even if it wasn't, in a month, it would all be over.

The silver lining to it was we'd leave the initiation as official members of the faction. Our lives would be brand new, starting with finding an apartment to live in. There was already talk of how many friends could live together, or what levels were the best to live on. We all knew the newer members usually got shit apartments, but there was a chance we'd wind up somewhere great.

Or at least, somewhere close to home.

"Where are you going?"

Adam interrupts my daydream, and the thought of my own lovely, not entirely pink apartment fizzles from my mind. I was just about to imagine what it would be like to live alone, thinking maybe I didn't want to live with Kat and Pink, and maybe I could find a way so I wouldn't have to share.

But there he is, in a t-shirt and dark pajama pants, sitting on the edge of his bed.

I hadn't really given much thought to where he was sleeping. Not because he was some dark secret I was harboring, or the thought of sleeping in the same room as him was nerve wracking. I'd grown up sleeping beside Adam, and it only stopped when he'd had enough of me clinging to him while I took a nap.

"I'm going to go get a drink," I stop to look at him, and in the low lighting, he smiles. Sort of. "Want to go with me? I was thinking I'd walk upstairs…maybe…sit up there for a minute."

"You finally got tired of Pink talking all night? She's been talking for an hour now with no end in sight." Adam tries not to laugh as he says it, and I try not to laugh with him. He wasn't wrong. There was rarely silence when it came to my friends, and it was unlikely they'd go to bed anytime soon.

"She's definitely homesick and it's definitely not helping me go to sleep."

"Gotcha."

He stares up at me in a weird way, and he's probably not homesick. He was probably enjoying being away from his parents and having no one other than Zander telling him what to do.

"Want to get out of here for a minute?" I reach my hand out toward him, thinking of earlier, and to my surprise, he takes it. His grip is strong and warm, and Adam rises up from the bed.

"I'll go with you. Gunner's homesick, too. He's been bitching all night. I should send him that way. They can be homesick together."

"Fuck you, Adam."

Gunner's voice comes from the top bunk above Adam's bed, and I laugh at his weary, muffled tone. It was funny coming from someone who had such a tough guy persona, but I felt some relief in knowing everyone was in the same boat tonight. I catch a glimpse of him with his head beneath his pillow, attempting to drown out the world.

"Nah, you're not quite my type," Adam retorts dryly, and Gunner flips him off.

"Bye Gunner. If you get lonely, they're over there. It might help to talk about your feelings," I offer, and he groans.

"Goodnight Gunner," Adam mockingly answers, slowly dropping his hand away from mine. "Sweet dreams."

"Have fun with Eva," Gunner answers meanly, but it still comes out sort of pathetic. He's trying to get one last jab in, but it's drowned out by his sorrows of missing his own mother.

Adam and I both laugh, and Gunner swears a few more times as we leave. Right as we reach the stairs, we hear him hop off the top bunk with one strong _fuck_, before he shuffles away, presumably to head over to Pink.

* * *

"I saw your dad." Adam Eaton looks at me very seriously, but he struggles to keep his lips from turning up. "He kept asking how you were and if you were eating enough. He also wanted to know if you were sick of Zander yet."

I smile back at him, shrugging. "I'm not sick of him. I mean, he's my uncle. He's just doing his job here. But I am sick of listening to Aja talk about how many push-ups he can do."

Adam laughs, and his whole face lights up. "Me too. Did you know the answer is five hundred?" He snickers into his drink, shifting in his seat, and his knee touches mine.

This was a bad idea.

It was a great idea in theory, but it was turning out that being this close to Adam was making me forget about all those times he didn't want to be anywhere near me. In fact, all it was doing was pushing me closer to him, because the night air was cold, and Adam was warm.

"Five hundred and ten on a good day," Adam is still laughing, and he glances back at me when the wind picks up. "Eva, are you okay?"

"I'm fine,' I answer, hoping I don't succumb to hypothermia and finally prove my father right.

We'd come up here because it was quiet. Adam and I had gotten water from one of the coffee carts, and the guy grudgingly handed over the cups until he realized who we were. His eyes had widened, mostly at the sight of Eric Coulter's daughter out, late at night, in her pajamas with Adam. I'd followed Adam as he led us up the stairs, around a few corners, until the walls became familiar. Before I knew it, he was pushing open the door to the roof, and he led us right to the couch Rylan had winked at me in front of.

"Are you cold?"

"Yes," I gasp, because the wind picks up again. We'd been sitting here for a few minutes, chewing on the ice in our drinks and talking about nothing. Adam reluctantly brought up my father, who was suspiciously walking down the same hallway as Adam right when he got done eating dinner, and I expected nothing less of his interrogation. "But it's okay. It's better than listening to everyone cry all night."

He nods.

He nods his head, then he scoots over closer to me, and my entire world slowly catches fire because he's way too close. Five-year-old Adam had still been taller than me, but he was scrawny. Because we were five. But this Adam is far from scrawny, and there is no hesitation on his part as he reaches out and sort of moves me against him.

I swallow, trying to will myself not to ruin this moment by throwing up.

"Eva?"

He says my name hesitantly, probably because I've ceased breathing and I have no idea where this is coming from. I was arrogant in my thinking that I knew everything about him.

Sure, I knew some things. I knew that he slept with his arm over his eyes and usually ended up on his side. I knew that he liked to read, but he'd never told a soul. He sometimes would sit in my room, while I read a book my grandfather had sent, and he'd read right along with me. I knew that he was fast, strong, and whatever he'd washed his hair with was not the same crap I'd washed mine with.

"Are you taking a shower in the trainer's room?!"

I lean away from him, and there's a rush of betrayal that burns worse than the stupid realization that he's fairly good looking. Actually, he's _really_ good looking. I like the way his eyes are amused, and I would bet his hair would be soft if I touched it. In fact, I know it would. I had touched it, just not lately.

But it was dawning on me that Adam was smarter than I was and hadn't chosen to subject himself to showering with everyone else.

"What?" Adam laughs, and he turns even closer. We're inches apart from each other, surrounded only by dim stars and the low, romantic sirens wailing their warning that a terrible storm was coming. "That's what you're worried about? Where I took a shower?"

"You should have taken me with you! I had to hurry so I wouldn't have to see Aja drying himself off for thirty minutes! I tried to time it so there was no one there, but he's always there!"

My protest is full of petty juvenile rage, because I'd dumbly forgotten about these showers. Adam and I long had the privilege of having our keycards let us into lots of places, including where the trainers showered. I had forgotten such a place existed. It was a large room, quiet and out of the way, stocked up so when the leaders were done working out, they could shower in peace and return home fully dressed.

How on Earth I'd forgotten this was beyond me.

"Alright, I'll take you with me to take a shower next time. All you had to do was ask," Adam teases but he's not entirely kidding. "We'll go…tomorrow. After class. I usually just head there when everyone else goes back downstairs."

"You're dead to me," I lean in, and I'm so close that all I can smell is him. "You know that, right?"

"You don't want everyone gaping at you while you wash your hair?" Adam is being serious, I think. His face is very close to mine, and if I were to tilt my head, we'd be in another situation entirely. "I imagine it takes you a long time. Probably as long as Gunner."

"Not that long," I lie, and I wonder if I'm coming off as high maintenance as my father. "Tomorrow, I'm going with you and you better not leave without me."

He nods, and he is serious.

He's extra serious as he looks right at me, and I feel his fingers touch my hair. For three solid seconds, I don't move. I feel him slide his fingers behind my ear, slowly working his way through the dark strands. His actions are purposeful and even, as if maybe he'd been wondering what my hair felt like.

"I won't leave you behind, Eva."

He swallows thickly, and we both know there's more meaning behind what he's saying.

Were I braver, more like my father and mother, and I might have tilted my head up. It wouldn't have been the first time I'd ever kissed Adam, but I don't think it counts when you're three.

Or maybe it does.

Before I can figure this out, he turns his head.

"I uh, we should get back down there. I think it's about to rain," Adam leans back, and I find myself thrown off completely.

He's not wrong, though.

Our moment together vanishes as the air crackles behind us. The crack of thunder is loud, and the sky suddenly lights up with a web of pure electricity. I hadn't even felt the air turn, now heavy with the threat of rain, or the smell of the impending storm sneaking its way around us.

"Oh shit," I blurt out the words, not at Adam but as the door to the roof flies open. The roof is suddenly filled with soldiers, all dressed in their uniforms, searching for something. Or someone. They work quickly, and they work even faster when Jason arrives. He looks impressive against the dark sky. His hair is combed back and his uniform jacket is buttoned all the way to the top. His boots are shiny, and they repel the splotches of tiny raindrops that slowly fall from the sky.

"Any luck?"

He walks the perimeter with a man I don't know, but when they turn the sharp corner, I realize I do know him. His name is Kevin, and he'd once ratted Adam and I out for playing in the kitchens rather than doing our homework.

"Shit, Adam, they're looking for us!" I try to whisper, and his head whips in the direction of Jason. He's far enough away that he hasn't spotted us yet, but if he keeps walking, he most certainly will. "Someone must have noticed we left and haven't come back."

"That's stupid. We can go wherever," Adam insists, but he stands up, pulling me along with him. "Come on, we'll just…go back. Say we went out for some fresh air."

"Okay," I agree, and I'm hit with the falling rain as we step away from Rylan's secret hiding spot. We make it a whole ten steps before Jason sees us, and it's one ominous moment when he yells my name.

"Hey, hi Jason," I greet him casually, pretending it's not Adam and I up here, in our pajamas, currently getting rained on. "How are you?"

"Eva…Adam…what are you doing up here? Didn't you hear the warning?" Jason doesn't look too upset, and he gestures for the man next to him to give me his jacket. He does so without saying a word, only insisting I put it on when I shake my head no.

"We just came up here to get away from all the people crying. It's…sort of depressing down there," I answer, deciding not to lie. Despite his affection for things that went bump in the night and trying to get people to recycle, Jason was far saner than Rylan. I was hoping he'd be sympathetic toward our plight, and he is.

"Ah, shit. Yeah, it happens every initiation. The first few days are fun, but once it hits you…it hits you. Your dad was the only one who didn't want to go home. Well, him and Four. I guess they had that in common."

"Go figure," I smile, but Adam barely breaks a grin.

"Hey, well go back inside. I'd say you could stay up here all night, but we're looking for someone. We got a security alert about suspicious activity not long ago, and we wanted to check it out before we called it a night." Jason waves his men back to work, and his assistant stays right there, getting drenched without his jacket on. "A few of the trackers have gone off, and unfortunately, they're ones that shouldn't even be functioning."

"Really?" Adam looks at Jason, and Jason nods. "I thought…I thought they announced none of them were working."

I turn to look at him, and I feel sort of left out. While my father occasionally brought work home with him, he rarely involved me in it. I didn't know anything about these trackers or who would have one.

"Yeah, they weren't. Erudite issued a recall a few years ago, but what were we supposed to do? Put out an alert to have everyone come back and get new ones?" Jason laughs, and his face is lit up by another flash of lightning. "Anyway, try to get some sleep. Tomorrow should be better. Hopefully."

"Thanks, Jason," I step forward, and he does, too.

Most people wouldn't hug the leaders goodbye, but Jason and I also had a different understanding of each other. He might not have let me drink any caffeine, but he'd snuck me my first official taste of Dauntless nightlife when he and Meghan babysat. Once. My father never really forgave him for bringing me to a nightclub at the age of two, but at the time, Jason wasn't sure how to babysit a toddler and he thought I'd like the lights.

He hugs me tightly, then pats Adam on the arm.

"You good?"

His eyes search Adam for something; a speck of hesitation or a shake of the head that will have Jason escorting us back downstairs, but there isn't anything.

Adam nods, and smiles politely. "Really good. Thanks."

Jason smiles, and I shrug off his friend's jacket. I thank him, handing him back the heavy fabric, and I turn to look at Adam.

He reaches for my hand, and for a single second, his palm touches mine, right as the night sky lights up completely.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you SO MUCH to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last two chapters. It seems like everyone enjoyed reading both of them way more than just a single chapter! I'm going to update this one now, and I'll update 7 in a bit. I'm slammed at work with actual work , but I wanted to get this one posted before lunch.

To answer a few of the questions, I've gotten because I can't answer them individually, see below.

If you do not have questions lol, skip ahead::

Eva refers to Adam's parents differently because they're uptight and not as easy going as everyone else, hence Adam not loving his upbringing. Adam looks nothing like Four, Adam stares at Eva because duh, he likes her and can't bring himself to do anything about it (for now) and yes, Jason is most definitely the voice of reason and most logical out of the adults.

Eric is, at best, a very concerned father trying to keep his only daughter alive, and at worst, a little too invested in keeping her alive to prove to everyone that he's a good father. Everly is very confident Eva will survive, and has no doubts about her abilities nor her connection with Adam.

Yes, the pace of the story is far different than Eric and Everly, but picks up considerably in the next few chapters,and I will try to continue updating two at a time.

Finally, and _most importantly_, Zander still loves noodles and most definitely thinks of Eric like a second father

All good questions and concerns, so I hope that helps!

Have a lovely weekend! I'll try to get 7 updated this afternoon💙

* * *

Adam's father smiles at me.

I've known him forever, and in a lot of ways, I often feel like he's just as much my family as my own parents. He'd been there for almost every single one of my accomplishments, as well as Adam's. I sometimes wondered if he got bored hanging out with the Coulters, or if he just accepted that this was his life now.

Rylan loved to tell me how my father had hated him. His face would light up and his eyes would grow wide, and he'd tip back in his chair as he conjured up his most favorite parts of the tale. It was often hard for him to pick between them, and I learned that Rylan spent a good chunk of his time here with Mr. Eaton.

His top moments were ranked in a particular order, though he often changed things up and added in some highlights depending on the day. He really liked the time he followed Mr. Eaton for months on end, so sure that he was part of some secret plan to take down the factions. Then there was the time he kept notes on him, right down to how many times a day he sneezed. The points he paid Quinten to refuse to let him eat any of the food Quinten had made in the mess hall. The day he changed his keycard code so many times the administration office threatened to ban him from even having one. The day he kept deleting his emails remotely, making it seem like Adam's dad was losing his mind.

The best part of the story was none of that, for I often felt more than a speck of sympathy for Mr. Eaton having to deal with Rylan, but when Rylan talked about Adam's grandmother. He liked to bring it up whenever they were around, and he loved talking about how much he adored her. The first time he said it, he slung his arm around Christina and asked Mrs. Eaton if her mom was single yet. The table had fallen silent as Rylan cockily announced that if she was, he'd happily divorce Christina and marry her instead.

"That would make me your grandfather."

He'd announced these words with glee to Adam, and my father had choked on his dinner. He started laughing, probably at everyone's horrified expression, but especially Adam and his father. I don't think either of them wanted Rylan marrying anyone in the Prior family, and Adam certainly didn't want Rylan being his grandfather. But even Christina laughed, clearly not at all bothered by his joke, and she shook her head at me and rolled her eyes.

"No one should worry. He wouldn't last a day in Abnegation."

Adam's dad eventually smiled, huffily, and asked for the dinner check.

He wasn't just there for these dinners, family like in every way possible, but for everything. Kindergarten graduation, the awards ceremonies at the end of each year, field day, the first time Adam and I ever got lost in Dauntless, and the day we figured out that people didn't like to tell us no. This power was great for all the things we wanted, especially if it was the two of us.

We weren't left alone often, but there had been times when Adam and I were both in the same shop, and we both wanted something. Ice cream. A toy that our parents would have denied. A coloring book. Some dumb gadget or blinking creation. The fake knives with fake blood that were popular amongst the older kids.

The members of the faction weren't willing to risk telling either of us to put anything back, so we got away with it. We went home with all kinds of things, and the people in the stores thought we were adorable.

Adam's dad was there for all that, too.

He was the one who figured out that once Adam and I joined forces, we were unstoppable. We got extra ice cream, our choice of donuts, waffles or pancakes for breakfast in case we didn't like the first choice, the cereal with more marshmallows than actual cereal, and best of all –we got to go where we pleased in the kitchens. Quinten liked us, maybe because we reminded him of his kids, and he was kinder when a four year old was asking for extra whipped cream than when it was Jason.

He was also there on the fifth day of our training, bright and early, with my father.

We arrive to the two of them patiently waiting for all of us, with their hands behind their backs, and neither looking very thrilled.

* * *

"Fuck. This."

Kat groans from the weight bench, swearing again as she drops the weights and sits up. Her hair is a complete mess; it hangs down in her eyes, falls out of her ponytail, and is more or less trashed. It matches her defeated posture, and her expression is pretty glum when she looks at me.

"I can't do it. I'm going to fail out of this stupid initiation and I'll be stuck…working with the weird transfers," she moans, and the kid next to her looks over in surprise.

"Hey, I'm not weird!"

"He's not really weird. He's actually doing better than you are," I smile at both his protest and at my friend.

We'd been down here for a half hour now. Our morning had consisted of learning the basic fighting techniques, an easy four hundred mile jog led by an endlessly energetic Zander, and a quick break to grab some water. He'd then walked us to the weight room, told us we had to complete forty-five minutes in here, and he'd help with whatever we needed. I had already completed the weight set that I knew how to do. My father had shown me a few of the beginning weight lifting exercises, and I simply repeated them until I was done.

I felt fine about my workout. I wasn't going to win for the most muscular person in here, but I knew that our upcoming training would be easier if my arms didn't feel like noodles.

"You're doing great, Kat. Zander said to do whatever you could. He's not asking you to keep up with anyone else," I remind her, glancing to the side.

Pink, Kat, and I had stuck together. Rachel was a few weight benches down, watching Aja show that he could lift more weights than anyone. Gunner was busy doing something with Adam and sprinkled throughout the room were the rest of the class mixed with the transfers. The transfers weren't quite as comfortable in here as we were, but they were trying.

"Yeah, but I don't know what to do. Aja said to start heavy and go slow and so I did. But I can't do it anymore." Kat's voice is desperate, and not just because she really couldn't lift the eighty-pound weights Aja had brought her. I understood her panic over this, because we all knew Zander was setting us up to dive into the more physical aspect of the initiation. We'd soon be up against some of the larger boys and girls currently working out like it was no problem, and if today's workout was any indicator, she was in trouble.

"I'll help you."

Luckily for Kat, Zander appears by her side. He has different weights in his hands, and he sits down on the weight bench beside her. He shows her the proper way to lift the weights, and promises that after a few reps, she'll start to feel it.

"Okay, I'll try. Thanks…Zander." Kat sounds nervous and unsure, and she waits until he leaves. "He's going to fail me. I know he's only over here because he wants us all to stay and it'll reflect badly if we fail out of the first stage."

"Maybe," I watch Zander walk away, and he glances back once, nodding when Kat leans back and picks up the weights. "But you have to try. At some point, we'll have to fight everyone, and you have to be strong enough to get through it."

"Thanks, Eva."

Kat resumes her workout, and this time, much easier than before. She still struggles, but she's not the only one. There are more than a few who chose Dauntless for their own reasons, and they weren't thinking about the physical requirements to be a soldier. My father had told them to me over and over, and he made sure I had the basics of them down.

He had been very blunt for most of it. He didn't sugar coat a lot of things, though I was figuring out he definitely kept me away from the darker side of Dauntless. But he hadn't with my training. At the age of thirteen, he brought me down to the gym and told me that one day, I'd be asked to fight against someone his size and he was going to show me how to do it.

I had been horrified. It wasn't like my father had ever once been aggressive or violent toward me. But standing before him, on an empty mat in the gym, I understood why people were afraid of him. He outweighed me by more than I could imagine, and he worked out routinely, just so he could punch the people he didn't like, and he wasn't exactly smiling. He seemed taller than ever, bigger than ever, and I almost chickened out and decided I'd just go live with one of my grandpas.

Until he told me my mother had managed to hit him.

Once.

Maybe twice.

He smiled when he said this, and I scowled because I knew he'd liked her. She probably punched him because he was staring at her when he shouldn't have been, and she knew better.

But the person I was fighting wouldn't like me, and even now, I had the sinking feeling I was about to be in for a world of pain. Still, I let him show me how to fight, and over the years, I learned.

Sort of.

"Eva are you done?"

I look up to see Zander there, looking at me intensely. I nod, standing up and leaving Kat to finish her workout.

"Sorry, I was just listening to Kat. She's worried she's…going to fail. Already."

"Can you come here?" Zander doesn't smile. He gestures for me to follow him, and he waits until he's sure I am. He wordlessly leads me to the doorway, right to a waiting Adam. Adam looks me up and down, then shrugs, silently telling me he's not sure what Zander wants.

"Okay, listen, you both know your fathers were down here, and I have to explain why. But I don't have long, and I don't want to make this a big deal." Zander pauses, looking at me, then Adam. "You both know how Dauntless is. The rumors are…quick to spread and hard to get rid of."

I wait patiently, and Adam glances at me out of the corner of his eye. Last night, we'd walked back from the roof together. He let go of my hand after a second, and he didn't speak another word to me. We went back to our bunks without anything more than a mumbled goodnight, and the room was pretty silent.

I hadn't seen him this morning, but I'd been focused on not dying while running.

I'd also wanted to say hello to his father and mine. My dad had blinked at me, grey eyes inspecting to make sure I was alive and fine, and I could see him calculating how many meals I'd eaten without him. How many days it had been since he told me to pick up my shoes from the living room. How many nights that he hadn't told me goodnight, or that he was going to bed and to wake him up if I went anywhere, no matter what time.

"What are you talking about? What rumors?" I glance at Adam, not the least bit sweaty from working out and leaning against the doorway a little too casually. "What's going on?"

"Your dad and Four were here to bring me up to date on some new security restrictions. One of those is keeping Eva in Dauntless."

"Zander, no," I answer flatly, and I have a feeling this was all in my father's head. "I hope you told him he's being ridiculous. He already said I couldn't fight anyone…"

"Don't worry," he shakes his own head, and his fancy Dauntless haircut stays perfectly in place. "I told him you couldn't complete the training without going outside. Anyway, I just wanted to tell both of you that if you hear anything…something from the other soldiers or maybe the guards, just…don't panic."

"What are the security threats?" Adam asks nonchalantly, and I want to ask him when he became someone with this insider information that led him to look so unbothered. "Are they about Eva? Or me?"

Zander hesitates, and in that moment, I know something's up. I can't figure out if the security threat is something about us, or just something that my father was all worked up over because he didn't want me to get hurt. He'd already tried to make my initiation easier by pretending he could refuse to let me get hurt, but I had a feeling Zander wasn't going to let that fly. Neither of them wanted me to get hurt, but it was inevitable that I'd wind up with a few bruises.

"It's not about either of you. But people here are quick to talk. When we head outside, just make sure you stay within earshot. Both of you."

"Sure," I shrug, but Adam doesn't.

He looks annoyed. He crosses his arms over his chest and stands there.

"Adam?"

"I'm not afraid of the people we're being trained to fight," he announces, and Zander stares at him like he's speaking gibberish.

"Cool, but we haven't fought anyone yet. So unless you've completed this program already, just stick with your class. I'm warning everyone not to wander off, especially you two. That's an order from two of the leaders here," Zander pauses, then grins. "I'm sure you can guess which two."

Adam is not impressed, but he shouldn't expect anything else.

The alarms had been going off and on with increasing frequency over the past few months. It never wound up being anything, but the way Zander was talking made it sound like it could be something.

"Fine. Whatever."

Adam sounds pretty petulant, and he reaches for my arm. His fingers curl around my elbow, and he pulls me back closer to him.

"You guys can head out to lunch if you're ready. I'll tell everyone else as soon as they're done they're free for their break." Zander waves us away, then watches us leave, his eyes on me and Adam's hand. His expression is a little too smirky for my liking, so I wiggle my arm away from Adam and shake my head.

"Bye Zander," I smile, and he smiles back. I knew he didn't want to be over here raining on anyone's parade, and if anything, he'd normally love someone willing to jump at the chance to prove how Dauntless they were. "See you after lunch."

"Don't be late," Zander reminds me, turning to walk back to the class. Nearly everyone had finished working out, and I see Kat throw her weights down in relief.

"Come on. We'll head there before it gets crowded," Adam reaches for my arm again, but this time, I let him pull me along with him, right into the dark hallway.

* * *

The mess hall is utter chaos, and I'm starting to see why my father rarely eats down here.

My mother never ate down here, either.

But I have no other choice, so I make my way through the crowd of soldiers already on break, until Adam and I find an empty table off to the side.

"Can you stay here? I'll be right back," he announces, and he's gone before I can tell him I can grab my own salad.

I watch him disappear into the sea of members trying to choose between the lunch specials, and while it's not a moment of silence, I do use this opportunity to observe the people around me.

There's Adam, taller than the members filing in through the doors and far more muscular than I remember him being. There's Jason and Rylan standing near the coffee cart, both clearly having been given lunch duty, which they're using to make their own coffees. Much to the dismay of the man working the coffee cart. A few nurses from the infirmary, eyeing everyone in horror as they grab more dessert than lunch. I can see the kid from Amity who Adam insisted was just being nice so I'd put in a good word for him, and a dozen of his friends, and my father.

Marching this way, not even flinching when he knocks someone out of the way and the guy yelps.

"I brought you lunch."

He sits down next to me, and I immediately grin. The plate he's brought has something other than what's being served to everyone else and looks more like what he'd make at home. It's far superior to the mass-produced lunches, even though I knew Quinten was pretty resourceful with what he had to work with.

"I miss you so much," I blurt out, and he looks pleased. I remember my mother had told me over and over that there was nothing more important to him than her and I. I had wondered how he would take this separation, even if we were only floors apart. But judging from the smile on his face, a rare sight in public, I know he misses me just as much as I miss him.

Not three seconds later, my mother arrives.

She shows up with Christina, and the two of them shriek at an ear piercing level when they realize who my father is sitting with. I'm immediately attacked by both of them, hugging me fiercely, and they take the seats on either side of me. Christina waves at someone I can't see, and my mother sits down carefully, ignoring my father's dark look at her dress as she manages to sit down with one leg beneath her. She still isn't dressed in any sort of uniform, and she looks like she's heading outside to lounge around in the sun.

"I like your dress," I narrow my eyes at her, and it dawns on me that it's awfully familiar. "Wait, is that mine?!"

"Everly, I told you it was too short," my dad mutters, and my mom ignores him.

"It's hardly short. I was cleaning out your closet. I found it and I thought it was cute. Actually, I think you borrowed it from me. I'm pretty sure Christina and I bought this when I first got here."

"You were cleaning out my closet?"

Adam's words explode in my head, from long, long ago. I remember him standing in the doorway of my bedroom, staring at the pink walls and telling me she'd keep it exactly the same. But he was wrong, and I suddenly wonder if they'll turn it into an office. Or a guest room. That feels a little too drastic, considering I hadn't even been gone a week.

"You look like you're going to throw up. Here, drink your water," my mother slides the bottle at me, and grins as her friend takes the seat beside Christina. "I'm not touching your room. I was going through to see what we could give you. Christina reminded me the clothes they give you are shitty."

"What?" I blink at her, and Christina elbows me.

"The training clothes. They give you what they think you'll need. Your mother never had to go through the process of wearing ill fitting, oversized ugly clothes because she lived with your father from the start and he let her buy whatever. Everyone else, including you, gets the same stuff. Leggings. Tank tops. Hideous shoes."

"Oh," I answer, and I realize I'd given it zero thought. Next to each bed had been a bag of clothes, but it was all so generic that I didn't care. It wasn't like I needed anything fancy to be running through the city while Zander called out words of encouragement and sometimes mockery. "So you're bringing me…"

"A lot of stuff. Here's your phone, too." My father slides my phone at me, and my eyes widen.

"Is that allowed?" I take it, wondering if there was any point to having it. My friends were in the training class, and the only person I could potentially call was….

Him.

"There's no official rule on it, but you might need it. At some point, you'll be outside of Dauntless and were anything to happen, you'd be able to call me." My father looks smug at this thought, like I wouldn't be with trained instructors and the entire initiation class. "You can also call me if you need anything. Or want a break from the class."

"Okay, now that's definitely against the rules," I grin, but I feel like he's given me the world. Just knowing that he's only a phone call away versus three floors away makes me feel much better.

"Are you guys doing okay? We've heard really good things about Zander. It seems different than our initiation here"

I look up, having missed Mrs. Eaton sitting down next to Christina. She's smiling at me, looking just as happy as her friends, and I smile back at her. "Despite being Zander…he's really good. A little more…enthusiastic than I would have imagined, but he clearly loves being here."

"And Adam?"

Her eyes lock on mine, and I feel everyone turn to look at me. Even my father, seated at a table of nothing but women. He stretches his head from side to side, then looks at me, also waiting for this answer.

"He's good, too." I promise, knowing she and my mother would absolutely have lost their minds had they known some of the little things that had happened.

But I couldn't explain them. How did I sum up how it felt when he and I went to sit on the roof and he pulled me closer? I couldn't think of any words to adequately describe the way he made me nervous in that moment, the feeling of being so close to him, almost like I shouldn't be. Or when he touched my hair, the gesture odd for him, but somehow enough to make my heart race even though I'd been close to him since I was born.

I also couldn't tell them, while my father sat here, that I'd held his hand on the roof. For a solid thirty seconds, his palm was pressed against mine, and I felt like things were good. Right. I wanted to hold onto his hand amidst the cracking lightning and the violent storm, maybe longer. But there was a large part of Adam that didn't want that, no matter who I was.

"I think he's going to do really well. None of it seems very hard for him," I add, and they all stare at me. This wasn't what they wanted to hear, not my mother, Christina, and Mrs. Eaton. They wanted the juicy details, like who was crying themselves to sleep at night and who'd already threatened to kill each other.

"It's the first week," my father can't help but point out, and he looks at me. "Things pick up quickly. Just…know that."

I nod, knowing he's right. I'd heard the stories about the weapons training, the fighting and the simulations. I'd also heard that Zander had taken it upon himself to redo the curriculum, pointing out that we'd be more likely to shoot someone than throw a knife at their face.

"He's over there somewhere. I think he went to grab our lunches," I tell everyone sitting at my table, thinking I can make out Adam walking back. He has two plates in his hands, and he's heading right for us. Something dawns on me, and I shove my plate at my dad. "Here, I can't eat this. He's been nice these past few days and I…I want to eat this but I think it'll hurt his feelings."

Everyone but my father smiles. He looks annoyed, but my mother grabs the plate and stands up. "It's totally fine. I'll eat it. Come on, Eric. I'll head upstairs with you. You can take a long lunch break, right?"

"Yes." My father scowls, but his scowl lessens as Adam gets closer. He's stuck behind a line of initiates swarming around, and a few ask him where he got the food. I see him point back at the lines, and on the plates are two pretty decent looking lunches, including the salad he'd once mocked me for eating. "Fine. You and I can go upstairs. Christina and Tris can eat by themselves."

"Gee, thanks Eric. We love you, too." Christina snickers, but she and Mrs. Eaton stand up quickly. He ignores them, watching my mother carefully stand up without flashing the people sitting around us.

"Eva, just…tell him I'm thinking about him and I hope he's okay. I haven't seen him since…" Adam's mother hesitates, trailing off as she gets a glimpse of her son. I know she hasn't seen him since the day we left for the Choosing Ceremony, and she's frowning when she turns to me. "Will you?"

There's a high chance me telling Adam his mother misses him will ruin his good mood, but I nod. I stand up and move to hug her. I turn to hug Christina, who half yells and half whispers I can call her any time and she'd love to hear what I thought about everyone. I finally get to hug my mother goodbye and she hugs me tightly, her arms freezing since the sundress she has on is not at all warm. I tell her I love her too, and she makes a funny sound that tells me she misses me just as much as her friend misses her son. The only one left is my father, and I hug him after he shrugs off his jacket to give to my mother. I feel his hands grasping the back of my head, and he holds on so tightly it's hard to breathe.

"I love you. Don't do anything stupid. And call me if Zander makes you bleed," he hisses in my ear, and I smile. I hug him again, not caring that half the mess hall is watching with very amused expressions. "Eva…

"I promise."

"Good," he nods, and I feel him sigh heavily before he lets go.

With that, they take off.

They manage to leave before Adam sees them, and they clear the mess hall doors by the time he arrives at our table. Adam carefully sets a plate down for me, and I smile when I realize he's put a lot of effort into picking out our lunches.

"I uh, I went to see Quinten. Your dad told me that the food…probably isn't nutritionally adequate and we'd be better off if a few times a week asked him to make something." Adam shrugs, downplaying this moment entirely, but I know better.

I also know this means, sometime before the training started, my father had gone to talk to Adam.

"It looks amazing," I smile, and I reach for my fork. "Thank you."

He nods, falling quiet as he takes a bite of his own sandwich. We eat without really saying much; the first few minutes are busied actually enjoying our food, but we also watch the mess hall fill up with our class. They arrive with loud excitement over our break from working out. It only takes a few minutes before our friends spot us, and they quickly take over our table.

We're joined by Aja, Gunner, Rachel, Kat, and Pink, and I find myself shoved right against Adam, my leg touching his for the entire lunch.

* * *

The rest of our afternoon is brutal.

For a few shiny hours, it had seemed like our initiation would be fairly easy.

Zander gave us tasks to complete, and half the time, we got to do these on our own or with groups of our friends. It was no surprise that everyone paired up with their friends. I stuck with Kat and Pink, Rachel hung out near us, seemingly apart anyone she knew, and Aja, Adam, and Gunner stuck together. There were others: Brentley and Brexley, paired up together, not really speaking to anyone else, a few from our school who I recognized. Guys who weren't quite as fit as Adam and his friends, and girls who we'd known for years.

Everything changes after lunch.

Zander and Karl both show up, and they take great joy in combining the classes, then having us split up. They direct everyone to stand in a line, then move us around in some order I can't figure out. All I know is, I wind up standing in front of Vinny, and Adam winds up standing in front of a girl who's nearly as tall as he is.

"Okay, first rule of today's lesson, we don't talk about today's lesson. This stays here, on the mat. The second rule of today's lesson, you don't talk about today's lesson. When it's over, it's over. Third rule of today's lesson, when someone yells 'STOP', goes limp, or taps out, the fight is over. Fourth and last rule, two to a fight. No one else. Everyone got it?"

Kat blinks.

A wave of nausea washes over me, and not just because Vinny is suddenly so close behind me that I can feel him breathing.

"So…we're going to fight? I'm going to fight Eva?"

Karl grins, cheerfully nodding as he slowly walks by. "Yep. We're going to see where everyone's weaknesses lie. All we ask is that you do your best. We aren't out for blood, not yet."

There is a low murmur of _fuck_, as everyone realizes the first few days of fun are officially over. I try to imagine turning around and punching Vinny in the face, but I can't. I feel the first wave of panic, that perhaps I am not as cut out for this as I thought I was. All those days with my father were a waste, and he's going to realize that right about the same time I will.

Fuck.

"The rest of the rules are we fight as long as it takes, and no one is to intervene. You don't have to beat the shit out of each other, but this isn't play time. In combat, they aren't going to give you a chance to warm up or get ready. They're straight up going to attack you."

Karl walks past us, and his gaze changes. Gone is the sweet, loving godfather who sat with my father and drank beers while his twins clung to my dad's boots and mimicked yelling at people. Gone is the man who grinned at me during dinner, knowing I wasn't even eating my food and was waiting for cake. Gone is Karl, my second, but still just as great, godfather, and in his place is Karl, the instructor for the transfers.

He is dead serious, even more so as he instructs us to head to the mats.

"Hey, Eva, wait up. We gotta talk. Look, I won't hurt you," Vinny whispers, nudging my arm so I'll look at him. When I do, I'm met not with a kind gaze or anything nice, but an opportunistic smirk. "We'll make this work for both of us. I heard it only gets tougher from here on out. It might be good to have a friend on both sides, right? If you get what I'm saying?"

I instinctively look over at Adam, ignoring the girl trailing after him. He's looking at me, and his eyes are zeroed in on Vinny.

Adam was right.

This kid didn't want to be my friend any more than I wanted to be his. He wanted someone to vouch for him, and he wanted that person to be me.

But that didn't mean I was willing to let him get away with his little game.

"We were all talking and we know you weren't really born here. It's not even fair that you're training with the Dauntless born, but we could make it work to our advantage. You know all about this place," Vinny looks right at me, holding my stare, and I bristle at what he's going on about. "You should be training with us. Helping us."

For one second, I freeze, because he's not entirely wrong.

I hadn't been born here. I'd been born in Amity.

He knew it, too. The story was universally known, because of all the places I could have been born, Amity was the last one my father was hoping for. I had heard the story over and over, and that my mother wasn't planning on having me there, either. But fate had other plans, and my father returned from some mission to discover that not only had my mother gone into labor while he was gone, but he now had a daughter.

It wasn't like we stayed there. I hadn't grown up in Amity. My parents had spent a few days there while my mom recovered, and then my father whisked us right back to Dauntless. Vinny knew that, but I suppose he was focusing on the technicality that in some sense, I wasn't exactly from Dauntless.

"I've lived here my whole life. Why would I train with the transfers?" I ask carefully, watching him smirk as I downplay the situation.

"Just…I was thinking it would get brought up. You can see how that wouldn't be fair, can't you?"

I stare at him.

He's smug looking, too much for my liking. The only thing I can really do is let him think he's got me and then make sure my father had doctored my place of birth to say Dauntless.

"Sure," I smile up at him, and he smiles back. We arrive at the open area where the fights are held, and Zander and Karl announce we can start whenever. "You know what? I think we should just see how it goes. Before Karl and Zander come over here. We can make it look good."

"Yeah," Vinny looks triumphant. There's an ease to his posture now that he's confident we'll be friends. He's fairly sure that if he doesn't kill me in this first fight, I'll tell my father to give him a good job. I watch him while I fix my ponytail, taking my hair out completely, then bending down to twist it up. I can see Adam staring from a few mats over, still ignoring the girl yapping away at him. She says something to him about starting slow, and Adam shrugs in response. "Hey Vinny, have you ever fought anyone before? In Amity?"

Vinny rolls his shoulders back. "Well, once. I mean, we aren't supposed to fight. I know you know that. Shit happens. I got in a fight with a guy over some fucking lettuce we were supposed to be picking. Dumb stuff like that."

I size him up, still fixing my hair.

He's tall, probably close to Adam's size, but not as large as my father. His posture is easy going, totally unconcerned, and his attention span seems to be three seconds.

"Did anyone catch you?" I step forward, trying to remember what my father had told me. He'd always mentioned that out there, out in the fields or the streets of the city, or even sometimes right outside of Dauntless, there were factionless who would attack. He mentioned every so often they got bored or tired of being the lesser population, so they went after whoever they could.

They wouldn't give anyone the chance to get ready, either.

"Nah, Eva are you stupid? You think Johanna strolls through the fields on an hourly basis? She barely leaves her office. The guys out there don't care. All they want is the food, back at the kitchens, ready to be split up." Vinny laughs at me, and his eyes meet mine. They are darker than before, and far unlike Adam's. I don't know why that comparison pops up, but maybe it's because Vinny is in front of me, the same height as Adam. "Listen, I'm not going to bullshit you. I can make this training a nightmare for you. No one here thinks you'll make it on your own. You've got forty guys here who could knock you down before you could blink. So I've decided that you help me, and I'll help you. When all is said and done, and the final rankings are posted, you go and find your daddy. Tell him what great friends we are. Tell him how much you trust me. Because if anyone thinks I'm working some shit job, after living in a shit faction…they're…"

Wrong.

Much like him.

I rear back, and I punch him without thinking.

Both his yelp and the rush of blood is immediate, and rather than be startled, I leap right at him.

My father had raised me in a way others weren't. Sure, I wasn't subject to most of the rules of Dauntless. I could play wherever I wanted, I could buy whatever I wanted, and I could probably cheat my entire way through this initiation if I wanted. I could call him up and tell him I couldn't do it, that I was afraid maybe I wasn't as brave as everyone assumed I would be, the same way they assumed I'd wind up marrying Adam.

But I _was_ brave, and I was Eric's daughter, and no one was going to threaten me.

"I'll tell him you're trash," I sweetly answer, knocking him back again. The pain in my own fist aches in a way I wasn't aware it could. It blooms quickly, spreading from my knuckles all the way down my fingers. My brain screams at me that perhaps something is broken, and would I please stop, but I can't. I manage to kick Vinny in the knee, and he falls with an unflattering scream when it twists to the side. A second later, I pin him down, punching him as hard as I can. My fist connects with his nose again, and he wails.

Liar.

He'd never fought anyone before.

"Get off me!" He screams. "Stop! The fuck!"

A second later, I am yanked backward. My feet leave the ground, and Zander holds me back as I struggle to get away from him.

"Let me go!" I protest, but it falls on deaf ears. He doesn't let me go. He waits until Karl joins us, and I realize most of the others are still fighting. A few have stopped to look in our direction, but not as many as I would think. "Zander…"

"Eva, stop. I think you broke his face," Zander informs me, and he only lets me go when Karl jogs over to look at Vinny. His face is pure surprise when he bends down, and nods in approval, flashing me a thumbs up. "You broke his nose. Nice."

Karl looks incredibly proud. He leaves Vinny lying there, moaning for someone to help him or at the very least, kill me for hurting him, and I hear him mutter what a bitch I am.

Rude.

I was hardly bitchy. In fact, I'd been naïve enough to think the kid was nice.

"He threatened me," I finally get away from Zander, and I reach for Karl's arm. "Karl, he said he would…"

"Shit, I thought that would take a few days," Karl frowns sympathetically, and I look at him in confusion. "We all knew it would happen. Most, if not all, know who your father is. They think if they can get you in a position to help them, you won't say no."

"That's…that's…" I start to say, but I stop when Vinny finally manages to get to his feet. His eyes flash at me, full of dark rage and fury over being knocked down by me, and he spits blood toward me. I stare back at him, unflinching. "No one will threaten me."

"Fuck her," Vinny gasps, wiping his face with his hand. He only smears blood everywhere, and Zander bounds over to him. He grabs him by the arm, pulling him toward the edge of the mat. "I'll kill you, you little shit."

"Nope, not fuck her. She fought you fair and square. If you're embarrassed she kicked your ass, you'll just have to suck it up." Zander announces, and a few next to us snicker. "Come on. I'll walk you to the infirmary. Karl, you take her upstairs. The rest of you, keep fighting!"

"Upstairs? Why?" I step away from Karl, but he steps closer to me.

"All injuries have to be reported. You can thank Four for that. He wants proper documentation for all attempted murders, now." Karl is just as cheerful as Zander, and I realize they must work together very well.

"Fine," I relent, stepping off the mat to follow Karl. "Can I report that he was trying to manipulate the fight?"

"Sure," Karl pushes me forward, and we walk past the rest of the class. Most have resumed fighting, sloppily, but fighting none the less. Karl marches me out of the training room, and I look back frantically.

My friends are watching with horrified stares on their faces, but at least Kat waves, right before her partner punches her in the side of the head. She shrieks, doubling over in pain, and the only person who doesn't look at her is Adam.

He looks right at me, his expression tense and unhappy before he turns back away from me.

For some reason, that stings more than my hand.

* * *

My father blinks at me from behind the black glasses he wore when he was working on his computer. He liked to pretend he didn't need them, swearing that someone had made the font smaller on every device he owned, but my mother was quick to remind him he just couldn't see as well as he used to.

"She did what?"

"She broke his nose!" Zander sounds both excited and horrified, which didn't surprise me. I highly doubted anyone thought I'd break anything, let alone fight someone. "I don't think she meant to, but anyway, Four said I had to report this to you. So, here we are."

Zander had shown up just as Karl and I arrived upstairs and relieved him to get back to his own class. Now he looks at my father expectantly, and my father looks back at him. After a brief moment of silence, he rubs his temples, then grins at me.

"Good. Let this be a warning for anyone else who thinks they're going to hurt her."

He smiles even wider, and I smile back at him. I couldn't imagine I was really in trouble, but there was always a chance that I'd gone a little nuts.

"Okay, so you're not mad?" Zander is thrown off, and he looks at the desk. "You said no blood, but I didn't know if that meant only her blood or someone else's? Is there paperwork to fill out? Four wasn't very specific."

"He never is," my dad rolls his eyes, then stands up from behind his desk. "There's no paperwork. The initiations aren't without these sort of scandalous events. There's always one who thinks they can beat the system. In this case, it's whoever Eva punched in the face. Make a note of it, and hopefully he learned a lesson today." He pauses, smiling even wider. "You can head back. I'll take care of Eva from here."

"Are you sure?" Zander hesitates, unwilling to make waves here, especially with my father. "Shouldn't she come back?"

"Nah, I have to show her what happens when you break someone's face your first week here."

"Okay," Zander agrees, and he slaps my arm. "Eva, I'll see you tomorrow. Try not to injure anyone else. I'd like to have some people to train."

"No promises," I inform him, and I look up at my grinning father once Zander is gone. "Where are we going? Am I in trouble?"

He shrugs, pretending he can't tell me. His uniform jacket is completely buttoned all the way up, and he leans back against the desk. "Should you be?"

"No, I'm a literal angel," I laugh, and even my dad works hard not to laugh. "You spent years teaching me to fight and I did. I think we should celebrate before you send me back downstairs."

My dad nods, and he gestures toward the door with one extra wide grin.

"I agree."

* * *

We celebrate with ice cream.

He takes me to Clyde's, and for the next hour, I am so happy I could die.

It's just him and I, him still wearing his glasses and me icing my red knuckles, while our server refills our drinks and checks on us. She's older than the other servers normally working, and her eyes are glued to my father every time he gestures at something. But she smiles at me. He calls her by name, Lucy, and she's clearly an acquaintance of his.

She must like us, because I swear she put extra sprinkles on my dessert.

"His name was Vinny?" My dad takes a single bite of the ice cream, wincing at how sweet it is. "Do you know him?"

"Barely. He's a transfer from Amity. I met him there a while back." I drag my spoon through the chocolate ice cream, and I take a bite. It _is _sweet, far sweeter than I would normally eat right before dinner, but I don't mind. "He basically implied that I tell you to give him a good job after initiation. He said he wasn't working some shit position here."

My father smirks.

"He sounds delightfully stupid."

"I agree," I take another bite, and my father glances down at my hand. "Before you drag me anywhere, it's fine. It doesn't hurt anymore. Please don't make me go to the infirmary."

"You and your mother have the weirdest aversion to that place," he shakes his head. "As long as you think it's fine. But if it starts to hurt, you'll need to have it looked at. You don't want to find out it's broken a week from now."

"I will," I promise him, and Lucy drops off our check. She waits while my father hands her his card, then smiles again when she takes off. "I just don't want anyone to think I'm some wimp."

"Breaking Vinny's nose was hardly wimpy." My father answers, and he watches me for a moment. "Besides, it doesn't matter what anyone thinks. Your only job is to survive the initiation. That's it. We'll take care of the rest."

He takes one more bite of ice cream, and I wish I could stay here all night. It's not very Dauntless to want to hang out with one's father all evening, but I don't care. I don't want to go back to the training room, and I certainly don't want to trudge down there to take a shower.

"Can you do me a favor? Can you not tell mom? I don't want her worrying," I lean back against the booth, relieved when he nods.

"She's not here right now," he informs me. "She's in Erudite. She went to see your grandfather. Otherwise, she'd be right here with us."

He sounds a little glum, and I find myself feeling a speck of sympathy for him. Despite his inner circle of friends and sort of friends, he really and truly hated to be separated from my mother. I had once jokingly told my mom she and my father were way too codependent on each other. In response, she shrugged, and turned around to call my dad and ask him to come home even earlier. They were whole heartedly each other's best and closest friend, and whenever they were apart, it wasn't by their choice. They counted down the minutes until they saw each other, and each mini reunion was celebrated as though they'd been apart for ages.

I had no clue what that felt like.

I'd never had anyone miss me the way my parents missed each other.

I smile up at my father, suddenly worried over this thought, and I wonder if I ever will.


	7. Chapter 7

Have a great weekend everyone!💙

Thanks to **Bamberlee** for editing and thanks to everyone following and reviewing!

* * *

"I told you."

Adam gloats at me, well… as much as one can gloat while they're doing pullups.

He does another three, his biceps tightening and contracting as he finishes the set we're supposed to complete, before he drops down to stare at me. Despite him not having to work very hard, he's sweaty, but everyone is. Not only is it hot in here, like someone had turned the heat on just to really kick the initiation up a notch, we'd spent our morning practicing fighting, and then were sent to work out. I'd been paired up with a kid from Candor who was only a few inches taller than me. It was an enjoyable time because not only did I get a great practice fight in, he didn't try to coerce me into telling my father to hire him straight out of initiation.

Maybe he was terrified I'd break his nose, too.

"I didn't forget what you said," I answer, staring at the pullup bar and wondering how I was going to reach it. "I thought I handled it well. I mean, what else was I supposed to do? I let him think I was agreeing with him and then I punched him. By the way, how many do I have to complete? He said at least six?"

Adam watches me with a smirky look on his face, and I _should _punch _him_. He knows there's no way I can reach this bar, and Zander isn't anywhere near me to help. Neither is Karl.

"Okay, stop looking so smug. You were right. Vinny didn't want to be my friend. Now, can you help me get up there?" I step closer, and his grin is full of amusement.

"What happened to the height restriction you were going to ask for? Did you forget about that?" He wastes no time reaching for me, and his hands are warm as he takes hold of my waist. He lifts me up so I can reach the bar, then stands there, still holding on. "That might have made this easier. They would have had to order lower bars for you and your short friends."

"Funny," I glare at him, and he lets go to step back and watch. I manage to do exactly three pull ups before I realize he's still staring, and I roll my eyes. "Pink is pretty tall. Adam, are you leaving or are you enjoying the show?"

"Kind of. I'd be enjoying it more if your form wasn't so terrible."

His words make me laugh, because he's not wrong, which in turn makes me let go of the bar. The drop is far, but I land laughing, and my hair falls right into my eyes.

"Sorry, I'm not exactly the expert at this. How many did you finish?"

"Thirty," he somehow manages to sound like he's not bragging. He stares for another second, then stands up straighter as Gunner walks over. They high five each other hello, and Gunner turns to say hi to me. He's dripping wet with sweat, having been working out with Pink all morning, but he doesn't care. They seemed to be a good match for each other, since she could almost keep up with him, and he almost let her.

"Eva…looking…wait, what exactly happened to your hair?"

"Thanks, Gunner. It's good to see you, too. I hope your morning is going great." I smile darkly at him, and I step away to fix my hair. The bangs still hadn't grown out the way I wanted, and my hair was not staying in the bun I'd twisted it into. But after barely sleeping last night, fighting against my new friend all morning, and attempting Zander's latest fitness challenge, my level of haircare effort was zero. "I've been busy, okay."

"Yeah, well I've been busy, too and I still found time to comb mine," he laughs, and I roll my eyes. His hair was short, and his terrible edgy rat tail from before is long gone. "How many did you guys do? Aja claims he did a hundred and one."

"Sure he did," I fix my hair, and glance around, wondering if anyone else was done. I had little desire to repeat this exercise, especially since I couldn't reach the bar on my own. "How many did you do, Gunner?"

"Only twenty," he sounds pretty forlorn, but he perks up immediately. "Did you tell her?"

"Tell me what?" I step close to him, and Adam steps close, too. Our circle is immediately small and far too close quarters, but Gunner still bends down in an exaggerated manner to whisper at me.

"We're going to help you."

"Help me what?" I look at him like he's nuts, and he raises both eyebrows at me.

"We're gonna help you stay alive. Adam thinks you're gonna get murdered."

"Murdered? I'm not going to get murdered. By who? Vinny?" I cross my arms over my chest, and both Adam and Gunner smirk at each other. "Oh, I see. You two think I need your help, just like the guy you're talking about. Maybe I should punch the both of you."

"Try me," Gunner scoffs. "But you're not far off. Vinny is going to want revenge. We're thinking we should stick together. You, Adam, me, Pink, Kat, and Aja. We're all going to make it through initiation anyway, but we'd have a…support system. No one gets left behind. We could have a signal or something. Blink twice if you're in trouble. Once if you're okay."

"This sounds a lot like a cult," I grin. "But I appreciate the thought. I'll talk to Pink and Kat. See if they're in."

"Maybe Rachel, too. She seems a little…lost." Adam announces, and his gaze leaves me to skirt around the room. He stops when it lands on Rachel, her hair perfectly in place and not the least bit sweaty, and he stares.

For a long time.

He looks at her, standing there like some sort of nonsweaty princess, while Aja shows her how buff he is. They're lost in their own world of just them, and Aja smiles even wider when Rachel tilts her head. Her smile is bright, and she looks much happier than she has these past few days.

I stare at Adam, until he finally looks back. "Doesn't she have any friends? Other than Aja. We should ask her, too."

Out of nowhere, my chest hurts. It hurts really bad, like someone's punched me there, and I realize I am the victim of my own feelings. Which sucks. I'd been callous to think I could do something as daring as hold his hand for half a minute, or sit with him beneath a dark sky and not think that maybe it would be nice if things stayed liked this. Maybe I was just as dumb as everyone else who thought he'd wind up liking me, even though I'd long decided I didn't need him to. This realization doesn't feel too great, either.

It doesn't feel any better when I think of my father and mother, and I wonder if she'd ever felt this way. Did he ever look at someone else, even in passing, making her insides hurt?

Probably not.

He had liked her from day one.

"Eva, you okay?" Gunner nudges me, and I look back up at him, forcing myself to smile.

"Yeah, really good. I'm uh, I'm gonna go find Pink. And Rachel has plenty of friends. They're just…not here."

"Okay," Gunner shrugs, and our alliance is momentarily forgotten. He stares at Adam out of the corner of his eye, then clears his throat. "Okay, so about the signal…"

"I'll see you at lunch." I take off, not answering him and not really wanting to be in any stupid group with him and his friends. I leave them standing beneath the pullup bar, and my vision blurs until I can see Pink.

"Eva…" Adam calls my name, but I don't look back. I don't stop walking until I'm right in front of Pink, and the look on my face is enough to make her immediately jump down from the weight bench she's sitting on.

She looks over my shoulder, and it only takes her a second to figure out what's wrong.

* * *

"Okay, well he's not that great. I told you this before," Pink hugs me, corralling me out of the training room and into the hallway. "He's not even that hot. And if he does like Rachel, well, jokes on him because she's sort of weird. She's absolutely obsessed with people knowing who her parents are, and even worse, she seems to be very into Aja. They've been bonding over what shampoo they use since they ate breakfast together this morning."

"Yeah, I know," I swallow down my defeat, walking quickly to keep up with her. She'd suggested we go get some water, and when we left, Adam was standing with Gunner, looking completely confused. "I just feel stupid. I don't know why it bugged me. I don't want to like him in any way. I just want him to stay my friend. I don't know why it made me feel like that. He should go be her friend if he's so worried."

"Eva," Pink starts, hesitating at the look on my face. "I'm going to say this nicely, but maybe Adam doesn't know where he stands with you. You're not exactly the most open person in the world."

"What?" I stop in my tracks. "What do you mean? I'm…a very open person. Ask me anything and I'll tell you the answer!"

"No, you will not," Pink patiently answers, reaching for my hand. She squeezes it, then guides me further down the hallway. "You seem happy, and I know you're happy. But you're pretty closed off. The only person who really holds all your secrets is Adam and even he doesn't know that much these past few years. Anything you've told us we've had to pry out of you. That's not a bad thing, but maybe Adam's thinking you don't really care for him at all and you're being nice out of obligation. Rachel probably smiled at him and he figured she's in love with him. I mean, look at his parents. They aren't overly affectionate. He probably assumes any girl staring at him is interested."

I think this over while I gulp down some water.

Pink wasn't entirely wrong on any of her points. I did sort of keep to myself, but I'd always assumed everyone did. I felt like people only wanted to get close to me because of my parents, and it was safer and easier to assume that, even when it came to Adam. He was nice to me, but he didn't really have a choice. It was expected we'd get along because of our parents, but that could come to a stop now. No one could force us to be polite to each other now that we didn't live with them.

Therein lie the confusing part. This week had been better than the last few years with him, and I suppose I was mixing that up with something else. Pink could also be right that he was pretty clueless, but I was suddenly thinking maybe I was, too.

My false sense of security here was slipping through my fingertips faster than Kat's chances of ranking as one of the top initiates.

Unfortunately, there was only one way to figure this out, and I'd have to suck it up.

"Okay," I agree, and I feel marginally better. "Thanks for coming out here with me. I think I'm going to talk to him tonight."

"You are?" Pink looks surprised. "What are you going to ask him?"

"I don't know yet," I admit, but I feel like maybe it's time we clear the air. "I just…I don't want him to forget about me. He doesn't have to be my best friend, but we can get along without it being weird. Maybe then we both can sort of…move on."

Pink stares. Her hair is less pink right now, because she's been washing it quickly as we tried to shower as fast as possible, and whatever was down here wasn't anything special. She looks a little tired, the exhaustion creeping behind her eyes, but she still looks exactly like Pink. Determined to get through this initiation, no matter what.

"I don't think he's forgotten about you. I think it's the exact opposite," Pink announces.

She looks like she could say more, but our time in the hallway is cut short when the doors to the training room fly open. Zander must have dismissed everyone for lunch, because there's a rush of initiates coming through the doors, right at us.

"Let's go join them before Zander comes to find us," I grab Pink's hand, and the two of us slip right into the middle of the group. She leans in to tell me some funny story, about Aja accidentally washing his hair with the hand soap and nearly losing his mind when his hair looked like garbage, and by the time I reach the mess hall, I've completely forgotten about the morning.

* * *

"Did any of you take French? Non? Oui?"

Rachel looks at me, blinking a few times impatiently, and we all shake our heads. She'd arrived at our lunch table like she knew us well, which she didn't. She sat down without any hesitation, like we were all good friends, but we really weren't. None of us were rude enough to point this out, but after fifteen minutes of her talking about how to say lettuce in French –and Pink snarkily telling her she was basically just saying salad with an _e_ at the end, I was feeling a little fed up.

She'd also been staring at me this entire time.

Her eyes kept wandering back to me, staring at odd places. My neck. My wrist. Sometimes my face, and more often than not, my hair. Which I'd taken down from the bun and figured I'd fix later.

I glared at her, but she wasn't at all bothered by my scowl. She looked at me again, sighing as I slid my tank top strap back in place, and frowned. I wasn't sure what her deal was, for she and I looked nothing alike. She was taller than I was, blonde, and looked like she existed on her _salade _and not much more.

As much as I hate to admit it, she is almost a little too pretty to be sitting with us, in our workout clothes and unkempt hair.

"Eva, I have to ask you something, and I know…I've heard you don't like to talk about it…" Rachel speaks louder than necessary, waiting for me to answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I look at Pink, and she focuses intently on her sandwich.

"But your dad, is he…he's…"

I wait patiently.

This happened often, and the question could be anything.

Was he still married? Single. Divorced. Was he interested in hiring an assistant? A receptionist. Did he do meal planning and would he be interested in it? Were his glasses real? Had he ever gotten _really_ mad at me? Had he killed a man? Would he kill someone if I didn't like them? Could he bench press two hundred pounds or more? Sometimes the questions got unusual –had he ever ridden a horse and did he wear pajama pants or shorts when he was home at night – but they were still entertaining.

I have the feeling Rachel's question won't be.

"Yes?" I use this time to take a bite of my own sandwich, and the peanut butter is hard to swallow when Adam walks by, looking at me with an expression I can't read. "Rachel?"

"Um…did he really…him and your mom…I heard about…the uh, the chasm thing…"

I set my sandwich down, and I hope my stare is dark enough that Rachel shuts up. She was about to ask me if it was true, that he and my mother hadn't exactly been very private with their relationship and had indeed gotten busy in front of the waterfall. While people loved to talk about it, they often couldn't keep a straight face when this came up.

Neither could I.

I'd never wanted to know if they'd really had sex right in the middle of the compound, but I sure heard about it more than I ever wanted to.

"Did they ever what? Hold hands in the hallway? Stare at each other while they worked out?" I mockingly answer her, my tone dry enough that I hope she gets the hint, but it goes over her head.

"No, not that. I just heard they were…really adventurous. Hey, wasn't your mom married by now?"

"Nah, a few more weeks. I think they were further into her initiation before he realized he loved Eva's mom," Pink answers casually, but there's a hint of defensiveness there. She liked both my parents and was one of the few friends I'd had who wanted to meet them and didn't freak out at the sight of them. "Why do you care? Are you and Aja gonna hold hands in the hallway? Or are you more adventurous than that?"

Rachel smiles tightly, and it grows even tighter when Kat sits down. "Where have you been? I didn't see you all morning."

Kat looks at her in surprise, and she pulls her jacket up higher. It's zipped all the way up, making her look oddly uptight. Her actions are strange, because it's warm in here, maybe warmer than the training room, and she looks absolutely exhausted. Like she's been up all night and it's finally caught up to her. "I was trying to finish my workout. Thanks for leaving me in there."

Everyone is silent, but Pink is visibly confused. "Where were you? We didn't see you at all. Eva came and got me for lunch, and she was with Adam and Gunner."

Kat smooths out her hair, the deep red color pretty even in the unflattering light in here, and she frowns. "I was over to the side. I didn't see any of you leave, but it's fine. I…had to finish. I heard they're posting the rankings this Friday, and I want to be ready. I needed every point I can get." She pauses, then looks around the table. "None of you are worried?"

"Not really," Pink answers, while Rachel and I shake our heads. "Eva already proved that she'll maim anyone who asks her about her father," she pauses to look pointedly at Rachel. "and Rachel has Aja single handedly overseeing her initiation. I think we'll all be fine. I didn't know you were so worried."

"Sure," Kat shrugs, and her gaze is miles away. "I hope everyone does great. But I _am_ worried, so…thanks."

"I think we'll be fine. It's the first week. Even if it's not the rank we want, there's plenty of time for improvement." I reassure her, but she doesn't meet my stare at all. In fact, she looks away from me, staring down at her food.

Pink notices; she catches my eye and shakes her head. I know we're both thinking the same thing, that something is definitely up with her, but now isn't the time to figure it out.

The rest of our lunch is pretty quiet. Rachel doesn't ask me about my parents any further, and Pink and I eat quickly. Kat eats slowly, picking apart her food until we've all finished ours, and she stays behind when we stand up.

"I'll see you all back in there. I'm just…not really hungry."

Kat smiles up at us, mostly me, but her stare is a thousand miles away.

* * *

"I want to show you something."

I sit across from Jason, watching him fidget with his coffee. He's already sort of jittery; he'd been sitting here when I walked in to grab a water on my way back to the training room, and I figured I'd say hello. He looked really happy when I sat down at his table, and he'd immediately waved the barista over to take my order.

I adored Jason.

He wasn't quite as involved with what I was doing every second of my life, and I appreciated that. But he and I had a lot of fun, especially once I was older. My mom told me he was terrified of me until I could hold my own head up, then he was terrified once I could walk. He eased up when I learned to say his name, and I suppose he found it heartwarming that I would yell _ASON _when I wanted his attention.

Even now, he's thrilled. He pays for my coffee before I can even attempt to, and he slides me the tablet he has in his hands.

"These are the rankings so far. I thought you'd want to see them."

His eyes light up in a way that tells me I'm most definitely not supposed to see these yet, and I take the tablet from him slowly.

"Are you sure?"

I should say no. Adam would probably say no, but I have no self-control. I touch the screen, and it lightens, showing me an orderly list of names along with their corresponding scores.

"Oh shit, whoa." I swipe down so I can see more, and I have to say, I'm pretty surprised. For starters, the classes are ranked together. The list has names I've never heard of before, mixed in with the names I do know. I see Rachel, ranking twelfth, and Brexley and Brentley ranking twenty fourth and twenty fifth. Most of Zander's class is ranked at the top, but there are a few from Karl's class. I stop when I find my own name, Evangelina Coulter listed in the fourth spot. Above me is Aja, Gunner, then Adam.

He's first.

"Your dad is super proud," Jason announces, and he leans back in his chair. His uniform jacket is unbuttoned, and the t-shirt beneath is as black as his jacket. "We saw them this morning. He's been on Zander to get them entered, but no one could get a hold of him last night. He must have worked on them early today."

"Really? I'm ranked fourth," I touch my name, and it takes me to an entirely different screen. There are all sorts of boxes of criteria that I've been scored on, including my general attitude. I'm impressed that Zander is very organized with all this. He's noted how well I can keep up, my general amount of effort, and at the very bottom, there is a small notation stating that I'm holding my own against initiates who are twice my size. "What are the notes for? Do they count for anything?"

"Well," Jason pauses, and he waves at someone behind me. "Yes. Sort of. He's basically explaining why you're ranking where you are. Had you not been up against Adam and his friends, you'd probably rank higher. He's just saying that given the odds, you're doing fantastic. If it were just you and your friends, you might be first."

"But it's not. It's…everyone…" I click back to the list, and I click on Kat's name. She's ranked thirtieth. It's not devastatingly low. There are plenty of initiates below her, and usually the top forty went on to obtain pretty decent positions here. She's done well in every area that she could, and Zander's notes on her hint that he thinks she'll improve very soon.

"Nope. We would expect you'd have more ahead of you from the transfers, but they're struggling. Most are having a hard time keeping up with Karl, and he's had to slow a few things down for them. Guess growing up in Erudite doesn't give them the physical advantage they thought it would."

He finds that last part very funny, snickering into his coffee.

"Really?" I click on the names again, and my finger hovers over Adam's name. "What about…" I stop, because my father takes the seat next to Jason, smiling brightly. "Dad! Did you see these?"

"I did," he answers immediately, leaning back to mirror Jason's casual posture. He glances around the small coffee shop, and once it meets with his approval, he looks back at me and smiles. Widely. "You're doing really well."

"I would have thought you'd expect me to be higher," I scroll through a few more names, and I can't quite bring myself to click on Adam's name. I was relieved my own score was absolutely fine, but I'm curious what Zander wrote about him. "Mom was first."

Jason snorts into his coffee.

"She was scored on a whole other score chart," he laughs, stopping only to take a sip of his drink. "We even asked your father if he was sure she was scored right."

"Wait, were her scores not real?" I look up at my father, and the dark grimace on his face tells me he's unamused by Jason. He glares at him for a split second, then sighs. "Omg, did you…. did you give her fake scores just so she wouldn't leave you?"

"No!" He scowls at me, halfheartedly. "I scored her harder than anyone."

"Yeah, you definitely scored her hard. _Real hard_," Rylan joins us, showing up in a blur of black and excitement. He shoves Jason over to make room, then looks over at my father. "We were so sure you were cheating. No one could willingly spend that much time punching things with you nor would they want to live with you in your museum of an apartment."

My father manages to look less amused. The best part is, he's not really mad. His friends loved to remind him of my mother's initiation here, and he would eventually, very grudgingly, admit that it hadn't been the norm.

"Please. I made her do things no other initiates had to do," he finally points out, and Jason keeps laughing.

"Yeah, you did! He brought her to this dinner as his wife when she most definitely wasn't," he whispers, only shutting up when my dad kicks him. "It was fun. She got all dressed up, too."

"Oh yeah, everyone hated her dress. I remember that," Rylan chimes in, and I know exactly what dress he's talking about. I'd seen it hanging up in her closet, beside my father's jackets. She'd once told me she wore it the first time they went to the Leadership Dinner, where she very much was his wife even if she didn't know it yet.

"No one hated it. I wasn't aware you had such a vested interest in fashion," my father stretches his arms out, nearly smacking Jason in the head. "And we were married by then. I mean, she'd filled out the paperwork so it was official whether she was aware of it or not. She was very flattered, I'll have you all know."

"Yeah, she seemed flattered. I thought you said she came back and yelled at you because she found out in the administrative offices?" Rylan waves the barista over with great impatience. "Didn't she call you a jerk?"

My father shrugs, like Rylan had just asked him if he had to work today. "She got over it. She was fine by that night."

"How romantic," I laugh, and he grins at me. He'd told me this story before, usually when he got worked up over it making him look bad. His whole premise hung on my mother being in some peril that only he knew about, and marrying her was the only option that would keep her safe. He got a little quiet when he talked about it, and I knew he wasn't lying. He never explained more than that, but at the end of the day, it had worked out well for them. "When is the next Leadership Dinner?"

"It's coming up, actually." My dad pauses, and he looks right at me. "You and Adam are both expected to be there."

"We aren't leaders," I remind him, not enjoying the way he shrugs. "Why would anyone expect us to be there?"

"Because. You two always go," my father very patiently answers, and he orders a coffee from the man after Rylan does. "Everyone will want to see how well my child has turned out."

"Okay, well it was cute when we were three, but I don't think you need to bring your adult child with you. They know I'm fine. I was there last year," I try to remind him, but it's a lost cause. He rolls his eyes, and he's seconds away from flat out ordering I attend the dinner.

"Aw, Eva's an adult. This is cute." Rylan looks delighted by this, so I shake my head at him. I'd only meant I wasn't a toddler, and it probably was less adorable now that my father was bringing me along to such a dinner.

But, the dinner was fairly fun.

It was a formal dinner with all the other leaders, their assistants, and often high-ranking members of each faction. It was how they celebrated the peace between all of them, and that meant more desserts than one could imagine.

I'd gone with Adam every year.

From the age of zero to eight, we had no choice. We were dressed up and brought along, and the other leaders took great joy in seeing us. It was often a chance to see my grandfather from Erudite, and sometimes, my grandmother from Amity. She'd come along a few times with Johanna, and Adam and I would escape to go sit with her. For a few hours, there were no separate factions and no threat of anything. It was just all of us, having a good time, and recommitting to keeping the peace.

Things changed once Adam didn't like me all that much, and the idea of sitting beside me in a suit was torture. He spent a few years trying to scoot his chair away from me, but by the time we were fifteen, we both shared a mutual appreciation for this fancy evening, if only because our parents didn't pay much attention once we were there.

I was pretty sure Adam was going to refuse to go this year.

"They all expect to see you, leaders or not. You two have been an important part of these dinners. The other leaders will want to see how you've grown up. They'll also ask about the initiation process, I'm sure." My dad looks at me, really looks at me like he can read my mind, and he shrugs. "Adam doesn't have a choice in going. If he thinks he can tell Four he's not going, he'll be in for the surprise of his life. Some things here are not optional, and this is one of them."

"I'm sure he won't want to go," I hand the tablet back, and I smile at them. My father, my godfather, my nongodfather but honorary Uncle Jason, all sitting around this tiny table to talk to me. "I should get back, though. Zander isn't big on people being late."

"Go," my dad waves me off with a smirk. "Tell Zander hello from all of us and thanks for the scores."

"Will do." I stand up, and I take one final look at all of them.

There was a picture in my dad's office of the three of them just like this. They were squished around a table, younger looking, but just as mischievous. Even my dad looked like he was hiding something, and when I asked him about it, he said he was just very pleased that his friend Four was sitting in the background of the photo and it was proof that they had been at odds.

And he was.

In the very far corner, looking at whoever took the picture with a most definite grimace, was Adam's father.

It feels fitting that he walks in right as I'm leaving. He misses seeing me completely, but I turn to see him sit down at the table with my father, and they all immediately start discussing something. It quickly grows heated, until Jason slides Adam's father the tablet, and he swipes at the screen.

I wait until Adam's dad looks at the same report I was, and it's then, and only then, his shoulders relax by a good few inches.

* * *

I return to an afternoon of pure torture and several death threats.

The torture starts quickly: Zander announces we'll be working with Karl's class again, and this time, we have assigned partners. Before I can blink, I'm matched up with a girl who informs me her name is Kiley, and the look on her face tells me she's out for blood.

The death threats start several seconds into our fight.

Karl is watching from the ground, crouched down while he types away on his tablet, and he misses Kiley's sneer as well as the angry way she tilts her head. She's tall and fit, and no doubt ready to prove her place in Dauntless.

"You fucked up Vinny's face, Eva." she all but hisses the words at me, and if there was any time for my second godfather to be looking out for me, it would be now. "None of us appreciate that. You think you're so much better than all of us. Well I'm about to prove you wrong."

Alas, Karl is not watching.

He's frantically trying to fix something, and he swears at the tablet, then shakes it up and down. I glance at him one more time, telepathically pleading for him to at least look up and make Kiley promise this will be a mostly fair fight because I was pretty sure murder wasn't allowed. But he doesn't look up. Eventually, I have no choice but to turn back to Kiley. She's staring me down like I've personally wronged her, and maybe I have. Maybe she doesn't know what Vinny said to me or why I punched him and she's thinking I'm some egotistical jerk.

"You think your daddy's gonna fix this for you, then _you're _the one who's wrong. Payback's a bitch."

Scratch that. She knows exactly why I punched Vinny.

She lunges for me, shrieking like a wild animal, and I feel her hands wrap around my throat before I can react. Normally, I'd panic. I don't think my father had trained me for this exact situation, but he _had_ trained me. I react without thinking, mostly because I want to survive this fight, and I knee her as hard as I can. I hit her right in the solar plexus, and her howl is loud.

"Fuck!"

She hops back, letting go of my throat for just a moment, and that's all I need. I leap toward her, and for the second time in my life, I punch someone in the face.

But the glory of this fight will not go to me, and I learn this a second too late. She rears back herself with a dark snarl and a mouthful of blood, and she punches me just as hard as I punched Vinny. The stars that burst into my vision are pretty. They are bright and shiny, and they flicker as they fall. I try to blink them away so I can see her, but her second punch is just as strong.

She doesn't get the third one in, because I do hit her. Her jaw makes a sharp cracking sound, followed by a muffled yelp as she grabs me by the head. We struggle back and forth, frantically trying to land a blow somewhere. I kick her legs, her knees, even her ankle, and I'm only able to wiggle away when she hits me hard enough that I think I might throw up and I gag.

We part ways for just a second, a momentary silent agreement between us to catch our breath, and Kiley slicks her hair back and bares her teeth.

"I promised him I'd help kill you. See if your father likes that!"

By this point, I would think someone would have noticed that something was off here. My hair has been ripped out of the ponytail it was in, my nose is bleeding, and I'm fairly certain the bruises are blooming faster than I can count them. I suck in a shaky breath that hurts, and I shake my head.

I refuse to back down.

I had expected some pushback from others, given my last name, but I wouldn't let them get the best of me. I wouldn't go down without a fight, if it was the last thing I ever did.

And really, I wasn't planning on dying without at least knowing if Adam hated my guts. Or if he thought I was pretty.

I know I don't look pretty in this moment, because all of a sudden Karl screams my name, and so does Zander. Everyone in the room turns to look at me, but it's a mashed up blur of panic and horror, as Kiley hits my cheek with enough force that I'm thrown back. Her punch is sloppier than before, and so is mine. I somehow manage to connect with part of her head, but a second later, my vision gets a little dark.

"He won't like it. My father hates violence."

I say the words as I kick her off me, and she laughs. It's dark and unfunny, verging on exhausted hysteria. Her plan for revenge on Vinny's behalf doesn't quite work, because I shove her back, and that's pretty much the extent of how much I can handle. She flies right back at me, and my head hits not the mat, but the cold concrete of the training floor with a thud. It doesn't really hurt, not bad anyway, but it's enough that I feel a little woozy.

I still refuse to lose.

I shove Kiley as hard as I can, and she blinks in surprise. She raises her arm to hit me, but I remember what my father said, something about hitting people in their weakest spot, or maybe it was _Eva get off_ _your phone and come watch me cook dinner or you'll starve to death when you're on your own._ Either way, it was motivational then, and it's motivational now.

I punch Kiley in the throat, hard enough that her eyes fly open and she full on dry heaves. I do it again until she whimpers, and once I know she won't attack me again, I kick her. She backs away from me with a low growl, and I force myself to sit upright.

The room spins.

It's not pretty or fun, and she's a blur as I try to steady myself. I wipe at my face, uselessly trying to clean off the blood, and I stop when boots are right in front of me. I look up at Zander's stunned stare, and I raise my hand up in the air.

"I think I won."

I somehow stand up, gracelessly, and gravity does its best to take me back down. But I stand there, swaying on my feet, and I'm surrounded by my friends. They are all there, Kat and Pink, screaming my name and grasping onto me, and Gunner and Aja. Even Rachel is there, along with Nikolai, pushing their way through the crowd to get close. Karl has finally put down his tablet, and he tosses initiates left and right to get out of his way.

"I'm gonna…go get a drink," I inform everyone, not really sure who I'm talking to. I look up to see Adam next, right in front of me. He, too, reaches for my arm, and his fingers are warm against my skin. He pulls me closer to him, lowly telling everyone to back away.

"Eva, are you okay? I think you should sit down."

I can hear him talking, saying the words close to my ear but I can't quite understand what he's saying. And really, I don't have a great answer to his question. Was I alright? Not really. It hurt to breathe, my nose was bleeding, and it hurt to look at him. I don't even think I could sit down if I tried.

"Fine," I blurt out, turning to see Kiley groaning. She pulls herself to standing, and her eyes are wet. Her head is bleeding too, and her jaw is already bruised.

"Guys, step back," Adam insists, his voice louder than I've ever heard him.

Everyone listens to him this time, and the group disperses as Karl tears through. He also yells my name, but I pay no attention to him. I look up at Adam, his dark hair a mess and his jaw unusually tense, and I blink away the blood that's dripping in my eye.

In my woozy, probably concussed mind, it dawns on me that this is the perfect time to talk to him.

"Adam, do you think I'm pretty? Prettier than Rachel?"

Adam stares at me, and I'm not so sure he can hear me. I don't think anyone else can, either. Perhaps I've only spoken the words in my head, and not out loud at all.

"Adam…." I say his name again, and his fingers tighten.

It's all I get out before I close my eyes, because I hear someone yelling my father's name.


	8. Chapter 8

Hello from freezing cold Arizona this morning 😭

Thank you SO much to **Bamberlee** for editing!💕

There are two chapters this week so make sure you read them in order.

Thanks to everyone who is reading and reviewing, and I hope you have a lovely weekend!

* * *

When he was younger, my father sometimes brought people to their death.

It was a weird story when I heard it, and sometimes, I couldn't bring myself to believe it. The same man who had taught me how to make spaghetti couldn't possibly be someone who had hurt others for his work, nor could he have gone after people because of some test results.

My father was a smart man, and from the time I was old enough to understand, he told me that he'd worked for some people before he met my mother, and he did some things that at the time he thought were right. The lesson hidden in this lecture was not about gossip or rumors or how he wasn't violent or scary, but that I should always make my own decisions. At some point, following the orders of a woman who thought she knew better than everyone else grew wearisome for him. When he realized what he was doing –mostly because of my mother –he stopped. He said the consequences of that decision were dire; she could have died, he could have died, and I never would have existed, but eventually, he knew it was a chance he had to take.

But now, as I stand there with Adam's hand on my arm, still warm, still holding me in place, I see my father tear through the training room looking like someone who could very much hurt someone. Since I have never been on the receiving end of this rage, he's unfamiliar to me. His eyes are dark, his mouth is pressed into a tight line, and he doesn't take his eyes off Kiley as his shoulders pull back.

She doesn't take her eyes off him either, because she knows her time here is done.

She scoots away, whimpering at the sight of him, and not even Zander and Karl stepping in front of her is enough to stop him.

Kiley had made a mistake, much like the others who thought being violent or murderous this early on would accomplish anything. Vinny would get to stay, because we'd fought each other, and it was assumed his attack was prompted by nothing more than the ancient, factional rivalry.

Kiley will not stay, because her intent was to kill.

"Come on, I'm gonna walk you to the infirmary," Adam insists, his voice low, and I lean into him. My vision has unblurred, I'm no longer dizzy, and instead I feel the heightened adrenaline of winning this fight. Part of me wants to stay and see what happens, to make sure everyone knows that no matter where I was born, I won't take anyone's shit.

That feeling lessens when I see the look on Kiley's face as my father reaches for her. His large hands grasp her by the throat, and she's roughly yanked to her feet, a mess of blood and sweat and tears, and wild regret is all over her face.

Her feet leave the mat with one rough jerk. In his hands, she's nothing but a child, someone who just turned eighteen years old, and one wrong decision has ruined her entire life.

"Okay," I finally agree to leaving with Adam, but only because my head hurts and it hurts more at the look on Kiley's face. As soon as I say the word, Adam leads me off the mat carefully, and no one notices. They are all watching the show unfold before them, seeing how the most powerful man in Dauntless truly dealt with these situations.

To their delight, my father has been joined by not only Rylan and Jason, but Adam's father as well.

Their struggle to pull him away from Kiley is amusing, but I don't care to stay and watch it any longer.

* * *

"Are you nauseous? Is your vison blurred? Are you seeing spots? Are you…"

The nurse barely finishes her question before she's knocked out of the way. The woman taking her place sharply informs her to step outside and check on someone else to the right of this room, and I'm left with one intense stare behind a pair of glasses.

"Evangelina Coulter…"

"Hi Arlene. I thought you were dead. My dad said he hadn't seen you working here in a while."

I greet her less than cheerfully. The low aftermath of the fight had hit me all at once, and I realized I was sitting here, sniffling my own blood and dripping it all over the place. Adam had been nice enough to walk me to the infirmary, though he'd been utterly silent on our way down here. I half expected someone to come find us, or notice we'd left, but they were probably busy trying to convince my father not to commit murder in front of the class.

So Adam and I had walked together, him guiding me down the dark hallway until the bright lights of the infirmary came into sight. He signed me in, and quickly explained what had happened to the receptionist. I was grateful for him, because I didn't think I could adequately describe what had happened, but he knew.

He listed every punch and blow I'd received, and a few I wasn't aware of.

Adam left only when the nurse shooed him out, explaining he wasn't related to me nor was he my significant other so he'd have to wait outside. I had sort of smiled at that, thinking he'd probably rather walk right back into the training room and go stand by his father than have anyone think he was with me.

But I wasn't smiling now.

"Funny. I'm old, but not that old. I do take a day off here and there." Arlene stares at me, and a second later, cold fingers touch my hair. "You know, your mother had an affinity for head trauma. She was brought down here several times to be checked out, including one time just like this."

"Was it because someone tried to kill her?" I close my eyes, because despite the fact that it's Arlene, the cold is soothing. She carefully and methodically works through my hair, but her silence makes me nervous. "Arlene?"

"Yep. Your father brought her down here, losing his mind. His precious trainee had been hurt, and he felt responsible. It was the first time I'd ever seen him be concerned over anyone other than himself." Arlene finishes her inspection, then tilts my head. "The good news is, you don't need any stitches. I'm going to say your nose doesn't appear to be broken, just bruised. You were hit right where it bleeds the most."

"Oh," I answer quietly, relieved nothing major had happened. "My cheek hurts, too."

Arlene is silent.

I watch her clench her jaw, and she reminds me a lot of my father in this moment. She examines my face, and her grimace tells me she's not pleased with this development. "You might have a stress fracture. Does it hurt when I press on it?" Arlene touches my cheek, and I stare at her, nodding when she hits a sore spot along my jaw.

"Does your dad know what happened?" Arlene asks, and I nod.

"He came down there right after the fight ended," I answer, and I can still see him storming through the training room. He had looked absolutely violent, and had I not been related to him, I'd have panicked.

"I called him when they said you were here. He didn't answer, but that's not unusual. I know he's…busy," Arlene half smirks, and we both know he didn't answer because he was busy with Kiley or he simply didn't want to.

That wasn't anything new.

My father both loved and despised Arlene. When he talked about her, it often came across like he needed her approval but he was fighting it every step of the way. She held him to standards that no one else did, and for some reason, he was compelled to meet them.

I'd seen her countless times while growing up. She was the first person I ever saw for an ear infection –an appointment in which my father was incredibly defensive and unwilling to admit failure as a parent, and she was the only person to point out that it was possible I'd never get any taller than my mother. My father hadn't liked that one, either. I don't think he was hoping I'd wind up towering over everyone, but I could see it in his face that he was thinking I would need to be vigilantly observed since I wasn't up to the unofficial Dauntless height requirements. It was a theme that carried over frequently while I grew up, as everyone seemed to be much taller than me.

But Arlene had shut him up, reminding him that his wife wasn't all that tall, and chances were, I'd take after her.

I sometimes wonder if he'd hoped I would have been a boy. When I wanted to be dramatic or feel bad for myself, I conjured up scenarios that would be better if he had a son. He wouldn't be scowling at my dress when I left or insisting I put on a sweater over my sundress because it was cold. He was usually right, but I bet he probably would have loved to take a son shooting, or downstairs to punch things, instead of worrying that I'd catch pneumonia.

These thoughts were absolutely fleeting because they held zero chance of being real. My father loved me unconditionally, and not only did everyone tell me this, but I felt it. I knew he took great pride that I had turned out absolutely fine, and he trained me just as he would anyone else. I might not have shared his stature or his blonde hair, but I shared his determination and ambition, and that was enough.

"Okay, I'm going to grab you a few things. They'll help speed up the healing, reduce inflammation, and ward off any infection. You'll feel crappy tonight, but by morning, you'll feel better." Arlene steps back, and barks for the nurse to grab a few things. "Your father is going to want you to stay home for a few days. The choice is yours. I can excuse you for tomorrow, but I have a feeling it'll be an easy day."

"Why do you say that?" I look up at her, her dark black scrubs bright under the light and her short hair as sharp as her personality, and she smiles.

"Two attempts on your life is not a good sign. Whether it be you or anyone else. The object of the initiation isn't to kill your way through it, but to see how you react to every situation. Fighting, simulations, pressure, the stress of possible failure. Acting out during the process is telling. They'll have to make a few adjustments to remind everyone of this. I wouldn't be surprised if your father stepped in."

Her words strike a chord of fear in me. Not for my own sake, but because my father overseeing the initiation wasn't good news for anyone.

Especially Zander.

He'd be crushed.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," I insist, wincing when she presses the sore spot on my jaw again. Kiley had managed to land a few good blows, but it made me feel better about the fight. She'd given it her all, and I guess if she was going to go down, at least she went down fighting. "Don't let him do that. He'll be…really annoying."

"I don't care if I'm annoying so long as it keeps you alive."

And there he is.

Barging through the doorway with my mother trailing after him, and his voice is loud enough that the entire infirmary can hear him. Both of them look upset as they vie to get to me first: my father looks livid and my mother looks horrified, and her hair is a mess. She manages to step in front of him, and she's by my side before he can bark anything else.

"Eva! Are you okay! Really? I heard the girl threatened to kill you!"

Her arms find me first, pulling me against her. I let her hug me, because we both need it. She smells good, like flowers and sunshine and anything but blood. She hugs me tightly, but carefully, and she pulls away only to examine my face.

Her hands are just as cold as Arlene's, maybe colder.

"Eric, she has bruises everywhere!" She looks at him, annoyance all over her own face, and her fingers gingerly touch where Arlene's had just been. "They could have broken her jaw!"

"The girl didn't get a chance. Eva's tougher than that," my father is right beside her, and Arlene retreats a step, giving them all the room they want. "Everyone said you put up a good fight. I'm not thrilled with the lack of awareness of what was going on when it happened, but Pink said you went for the jugular. Literally."

I've never been more grateful for Pink in my life. I grin at him, even though it hurts.

"I did. I'm pretty sure she wasn't going to stop until I was dead. I thought they made sure it was just…a fight. Not like, a fight to the death." I wind up sounding sulky and a bit annoyed, but I blame it on the blood loss. I shrug at my parents, not really sure what I expected either of them to do. I knew our initiation wasn't easy, but I hadn't been expecting this. "Did you kill her?"

"No," my father also sounds sulky, and my mother smiles back at him. "Not yet, anyway. Zander and Karl have her. They dismissed class for the day and both will be in my office within the hour. Neither of them were aware of the extent of this little rivalry going on."

"It's because I wouldn't help that kid. He told everyone I'm not really from Dauntless, and that I was born in Amity," I sigh, and my head begins to hurt in an odd way. Slow and heavy, like all I want to do is lie down. "I just want to make it through without someone stabbing me. Or losing my ranking to some kid named Caliber."

I'm met with silence.

Not because they both know who Caliber is, a boy whose hair was a vibrant shade of black and purple that only offset the dark sleeves he'd gotten when he was barely thirteen, but because they both know what I'm saying is true.

"Should I be training with the transfers?" I ask.

My father immediately looks disgusted. "You're not a transfer. You grew up here. I had planned for you to be born in Erudite, but you and your mother had other plans."

"Other plans? Really? I went into labor in the middle of the night while you were out camping with Four," my mother side eyes my father, and she shakes her head. "If she'd been born in Erudite, we'd be having the same discussion."

My father shrugs. "She's from Dauntless. She was raised here. I'm not sure why this is even a concern of anyone, let alone the transfers."

"Maybe she should stay with us," my mother looks up at my dad again, letting go of me to grab his arm. She reaches for his jacket, and she's probably the only one is this faction to ever hold onto him like that. I know this for a fact, but also because of the way he looks down at her, patiently and lovingly, even though he's not smiling. "Eric, maybe we could have her just go down there for the class. Because they might go after her again…"

His eyes flash to me, then back to her.

They are grey, no longer dark and angry, but flashing with irritation over what happened.

"Everly, I can't. Can you imagine the upset over that? Normally, I'd agree to it. But it's become a prevalent issue and everyone will notice if she's gone. I can't just pull her from the training class and send her down for the day. That would make things worse."

My mom frowns, and so do I.

As much as I want to head home with them and crawl into my own bed, the idea was mortifying. I'd never hear the end of it, and no one would let me forget that I wasn't brave enough to sleep downstairs with everyone else.

"I don't think that's a good idea," I slide off the table, and they both turn in surprise. "I should go back anyway. I need to wash the blood out of my hair."

"Eva…" my mother starts, and she lunges to hug me again. Her dress is soft, something dark with even darker straps that slide down when she moves, and she doesn't let go. "Just be careful. Stick by Adam. I can…I could ask him to look out for you. Maybe partner up with you for the rest of the training."

I untangle myself from her, barely able to control my eyeroll.

"I'm sure he'd be thrilled to be my accountability buddy," I stare at both of them, and I force myself to smile. "But it'll be fine. I think I've proven that I can handle myself. Hopefully."

Both of my parents are quiet, and my stomach tightens when they sort of smile back. My father's looks more like a grimace, and my mother's is far from anything happy.

But they can't say much else.

Arlene returns with several sharp needles, and I'm in for a world of pain when she stabs them into my arm without warning.

* * *

Adam isn't waiting for me.

There's a heartbreaking punch of disappointment at that, but I don't get to dwell on it very long.

Because Zander is waiting for me, and so is Karl. Both leap up from the tiny waiting room chairs, and they seem larger than life as they sprint toward me. Zander knocks into a nurse carrying a box labeled fragile, and Karl catches the box then shoves it at her like they've rehearsed this routine. She yells at them to walk, but they both ignore her.

They also both look guilty, and I know why.

They were about to go face my father, and my guess was, it wasn't going to go well, and they didn't expect much else.

"Eva, I am so, so, so, so, soooo sorry," Zander is first, grabbing me a little too roughly considering Arlene's shots had left my arm sore and I'd just spent some time getting my face punched. "I didn't realize they were that intent on hurting you. I thought it was a good-natured fight. In fact, it was better than some of the fights I've been seeing."

My uncle hugs me on a level that rivals my father. He and I hadn't grown up exceptionally close; for half my life, he didn't even like me because I stole all the attention from him. But once he came to Dauntless, he developed an appreciation for me, and I'd dare say he was somewhat excited to train me.

I wiggle away from him, rubbing at my arm.

It's not him, it's the dumb shots.

"I thought you were doing well. Every time I looked up, you were fighting just fine. It wasn't until she screamed and slammed your head down did I realize something was wrong," Karl adds, and I stare at both of them.

They have nearly identical black shirts on, black pants, and worried frowns.

"It's fine. I can handle anyone now," I lie, because while I could, I didn't know how long I could keep up that pace. One death fight per week might be my limit. "Look, they clearly know who my parents are, and they all think I've either got an in or I'm gonna cheat. They also think I'm not really from here, so that's fun, too. But you know what? I'll just…get through it. Just….maybe pair me up with someone from my own class or something. And next time someone tries to kill me, stop them earlier."

"Okay," they both agree immediately, and they move to hug me, unconsciously seeking out reassurance that I wasn't upset.

I wince away, because I don't want them to.

I feel a little apprehensive of them and a lot exhausted. I'd already let Zander hug me once, and I was getting crushed by everyone in this faction. To top it off, my whole body hurt from being punched for twenty minutes, and my hair feels sticky.

"I'll see you later. Do I need to head back to the training room?" I ask, and their hurt is clear as day.

"Uh, no. We're meeting your dad in a bit. You can uh, just go…rest. Kiley…won't be back," Zander fumbles with his words, and in that moment, he looks like the kid I grew up with in Amity. His edgy hair and dark clothes can't hide his disappointment in himself, nor the fact that I was almost killed on his watch. "If you want to take tomorrow off…"

"I'll see you in the morning."

I walk past them without another word, and I head through the doors to the dark hallway.

I walk back to the dorm room by myself, with only my own thoughts and pounding head.

* * *

The shower feels luxurious.

Even in the bleak accommodations, the dark black shower curtain and the shampoo that I don't love, the hot water washes away everything that's happened today. Down the drain swirls the drama from initiation, Kiley's snapping and snarling face, and Zander's look of horror. I watch the blood mix with the shampoo, and it's gone with the pink tinged bubbles. It almost washes away all my emotions about what happened: the uneasy, wobbly feelings ranging from elation at holding my own, Adam walking me to the infirmary, the sudden drama over where I was born, and the ache that's burning beneath my skin.

As much as I can pretend otherwise, I feel like shit.

Everything is sore. Arlene's shots had included a very weak painkiller, one presumably meant for a toddler, because it's certainly doing nothing to dull the achiness I feel. I figure the only thing to do is sleep it off and hope Arlene wasn't lying when she said it would be gone by tomorrow.

I rinse my hair out one more time, basking in the silence and the thought of crawling into bed.

I'd returned to no one down here.

It had taken longer than I thought to leave the infirmary. It had taken longer than I thought to escape Zander and Karl, and longer than ever to walk back down here. I was surprised to find everyone gone, presumably at dinner or out for the evening, and I relished in this fact. It meant I could take a shower in peace. No one would want to talk about what happened, and I could stand in the shower for as long as I wanted without ten other people waiting to take one.

I turn the water off slowly, and I reach for the dark towel I'd brought with me. I stare at it for a moment, and it dawns on me that Vinny will not be very happy. That's a funny realization, because I shouldn't care how he feels about something. It's more of the sinking knowledge that I've made myself into a target, and there's no way to fix it.

I dry my hair off carefully, then my arms. I cringe when I push on my side, because it hurts more than I remember it hurting. There's probably nothing else that can really be done, so I wrap myself in the towel, throw the door open, and walk right into Adam.

"Fuck, I'm sorry."

It's odd to hear him swear, not because he didn't, but because his father practically forbid him to say bad words. It was a funny thing, considering where we lived, but they believed he didn't need to swear to get his point across. When we were little, my father laughed the first time I said fuck. The second time I said it, he congratulated me on using it properly. The third time, when it was said in the presence of my grandfather, he only pretended to be horrified, then winked at me when my grandpa wasn't looking.

"Sorry, I didn't see you…hanging out right there," I blurt out, clutching the towel around me. Adam stands frozen in place just like me, and he stares right at me.

Well, more specifically, my exposed skin.

It wasn't like I lived my life dressed completely covered up, but right now there's nothing separating us but his thin t-shirt and my towel. His eyes slide down my neck, narrowing at what I can only assume is the bruising from earlier, down to my fingers, holding the towel in place.

I stare up at him.

His hair is just the tiniest bit longer and still damp from his own shower. The shirt he has on looks soft and worn, probably purchased in the shops and meant to look lived in.

"Are you…are you going to bed?"

I mentally congratulate myself on my stellar conversation today. It's not even that late, nor does he look tired. I take this moment to mentally berate myself at blurting out such a stupid question, but he's practically mute. He finally smiles, and he reaches out to touch my neck. His fingers press right where it hurts, but not enough that I tell him to stop.

"Kiley really did a number on you," he answers, and he steps closer.

Well fuck.

I wait for someone to appear to interrupt this moment. Lightning to strike, Zander to fall down the stairs, or Rylan to show up throwing new pajamas in my face. Maybe Jason, bringing me coffee, or my mother, insisting I head upstairs because my father was hyperventilating that I'd nearly died and he didn't find that very acceptable.

But no one interrupts us. It's only him and I, beneath fluorescent lights, looking at each other.

"I have something for you. I think it'll help," he tells me lowly. "Gunner gave it to me after I got back. He was worried you were really hurt. He said everyone was pretty shocked at what happened. They were pretty impressed that you beat Kiley. Eva Killer Coulter."

I let out a pained huff of laughter. That middle name had started as a joke, but sometimes, I wasn't so sure my father hadn't officially made it real.

"It's initiation," I shrug, doing my best to look at Adam. "People fight. I think everyone knows that. It was fight back or get my head snapped off."

"Yeah, but Eva. Your dad is one of the most respected leaders here. No one thought anyone would go after you, especially the transfers. It's no secret who you are." Adam stares, and there's a hint of something in his voice I don't recognize. It's not outright jealousy. His own father was a leader here, but something along the lines of jealousy. His father was well respected, but my dad just had a reputation of getting what he wanted, no matter the cost. "Aja was freaking out. If you aren't safe, no one is."

My gaze falls to the floor, and I nod.

I hadn't thought of that. Dauntless had always felt safe to me. I lived in a warm, happy bubble of knowing I had soldiers who had my back, uncles and godparents who would kill for me, and enough people instructed to look out for me whether they wanted to or not. I hadn't been expecting to have the transfers know who I was and think they could use me to their advantage.

"It's just…because you don't look scary. Vinny thought you'd cave in and so did that girl," Adam keeps talking, inching closer to me. "Everyone was pretty impressed that you won."

His words are mildly insulting, because I had been trained how to fight. But I got what he was saying. I was shorter than everyone here, and I guess I didn't quite look the part. Had I been Adam, I don't think they'd have picked me as their person of interest.

"Eva…" Adam sounds worried now, and I finally look up at him.

"I should get dressed. Give me fifteen minutes and I'll meet you," I force myself to smile, keeping it there until he nods back.

"Okay, meet me by my bed." Adam looks at me for a few seconds. Then he leaves me standing there alone, and the air holds the hint of a chill that wasn't there before.

* * *

"That's gonna hurt tomorrow," Aja none too subtly observes me from his bunk, where he'd been lounging around with an air of indifference. It vanished when he saw me walking over, my pajama shirt and way too short shorts having been thrown on. I had a feeling my mother packed the bag for me, because it was unlikely my father would have picked these out. "Shit, did they give you anything for it?"

"A shot," I answer, smiling wryly when his eyes widen. "Actually, Arlene gave me like, four shots. I'm assuming one has some pain medication in it, but it didn't really help."

"I heard they're restricting what they give out. But they should make an exception since you got hurt during training."

Aja swings his legs over the bed and hops down as though he hadn't been eight feet in the air. "Adam said to wait here. He went to get something."

"Okay," I wait for Aja to move past me, and I notice he's dressed like he's going out. "Are you staying?"

"Nah, I'm…Rachel and I are going for a walk. We heard there's a more scenic route if you go out by the loading docks." Aja grins, and I can't help but grin back. "I know, you're probably thinking it's all scenic, but I guess this is more scenic. She's got a thing for this…woodsy aesthetic. I told her I'd go with her to look at the trees or some shit."

"Isn't it dark out? What exactly are you going to see?" I laugh, and I sit down on Adam's bed. It's not anything special; he hasn't been brought the pillows from his bedroom upstairs, nor a warmer blanket because my mother was cold, so naturally, she thought I'd be cold, too.

"Maybe …some trees. Rocks. A warlock?" Aja's expression is concerned, like he's never thought about this. "Oh well, whatever. It'll be cool. We just wanted to get out for a minute."

"I get that," I answer, turning when Adam arrives back. He has something in his hands, and he smiles tightly, then fist bumps Aja as they pass each other.

"Have fun," Adam snickers, and Aja winks.

"You too."

"Where'd you go?" I ask, waiting for Adam to show me whatever he had so I could go to bed. "Aja said you went to get something."

"Oh yeah. Well, while you got dressed, I actually went to see Zander. He was pretty upset over what happened. We talked for a bit, then he got kind of weird and said he had to leave," Adam takes the seat beside me and I try to ignore how close he is. I'd walked over here with damp hair, pajamas that weren't warm, and a burning desire that whatever Gunner had given him would knock me out cold.

"I didn't know you and Zander were such good friends," I look up at him, and he laughs.

It's a pretty dry laugh, because he hadn't been very nice to Zander. Even though Zander didn't want to live in Amity, Adam still thought he was annoying. He also, in a fit of rage over being dragged to Amity for Zander's tenth birthday, told me Zander was a spoiled brat. It might have come from my grandfather throwing Zander huge parties, but to be fair, Amity celebrated everything and anything.

But Grandpa Harrison took it to a whole new level. None of us were sure why, other than Zander must have felt left out or maybe Harrison just loved him the most, but he had parties that left people talking for days.

Even Rylan.

Rylan lived for these parties and spent a good chunk of time trying to figure out the theme each year before we got the invitations.

Adam had not lived for these parties, and when he quit going, Zander took notice.

"I told him I was sorry," Adam shrugs, and he hands me the box. "I said…I just got tired of going. I don't know. Maybe I was an asshole kid who wanted a big birthday party."

"You're not the only one." I open up the box, knowing what he meant. While his parents happily would celebrate his birthday, it wasn't a faction wide event. Mine hadn't made it a faction wide event either, but only because my father liked to celebrate with the chosen few he deemed close enough to invite over.

"What do I do with this? This is from Gunner?" I hold up the container in confusion. The box was filled with a few bottles of colored liquid, and two containers of some type of lotion. The whole thing smelled like it came from Amity, especially the containers. "You're sure you got this from Gunner?"

"Yeah, his aunt ordered it from Amity. Probably from your grandma. She sent him this before initiation. It's supposed to help sore muscles. I think she said from working out, but she said it helps bruising, too. Maybe she was worried he'd get beat up." Adam moves closer, taking the container from me. "She said use a small amount or you'll end up sort of…out of it."

"You know this has peace serum in it," I smile, shaking my head. "Thanks for thinking of me, but I'll pass. Kat, and Pink and I once ate some cookies with peace serum in them. We couldn't stop laughing for hours. My dad told us to go outside until it wore off, but we all wound up falling asleep before we could."

"That's not a bad idea," Adam looks right at me, and before I can tell him he should slather the stuff all over himself if he liked it so much, his fingers touch my skin. I jump, because the lotion or potion or whatever it is is cold, but oddly soothing. "Just…trust me."

"Shit! Adam!" I blurt out, but he's too busy staring. He moves his fingers away from me, and hands me the container with a guilty look on his face. "How much did you put on?"

"Just…on your neck. It looked bad," he shrugs, and the fragile seconds of okay-ness between us fall apart. "Sorry…I just…Gunner said it would help."

"No, it's fine. It's just…," I blurt out, and the second our eyes meet, I stupidly remember asking him if he thought I was pretty. He was probably the only one who heard me, but I had still asked him.

While I stood there, covered in my own blood.

I want to die.

I want to sink into the floor and dissolve into five thousand pieces.

"Adam…"

"You should lie down," Adam instructs, and I realize he means right here. "I wanted to show you something else, anyway. Jason brought me my phone, and told me to keep quiet about it. He also sent me a few pictures and said you're the only one I could show."

"Okay," I agree, and I wonder if I'm already high off the stupid lotion. My brain does feel slow, but that could also be from earlier. "Here?"

"Yeah, Gunner said don't walk very far after you put it on," Adam looks like he's trying not to laugh. His smirk tells me he knew this was stronger than I thought, and he knew I'd probably trip and hit my head again on the walk back. "Here. I'll grab my phone. I shoved it in the bag with the training gear."

"Okay," I give in. Exactly thirty seconds later, I do lie down. Adam stands up to rifle through the bag beside his bed, and I have to admit I feel woozy. I close my eyes for just a moment, enjoying the feeling of not doing anything, when I feel the bed dip. Actually, I'm feeling Adam sitting down next to me, quietly saying my name.

"Hmm?"

I open my eyes to see him looking down at me, and a minute later, I can't figure out how he's lying down next to me.

"Are you okay?" Adam looks rightfully concerned. I turn onto my side, now on the furthest part of his bed, and he turns to face me. "Eva?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Or drugged from your lotion," I laugh, and oddly enough, I feel better. Either Arlene's pain killer has kicked in, or whatever was on my neck had officially seeped into my blood stream and I will be high as a kite until tomorrow morning. "What did you want to show me?"

"Just…this picture," Adam answers, but his phone isn't in his hand. I still wasn't sure either of us were supposed to have them, but it made me feel better that he had one too. "Eva, are you sure you're okay? Like really okay? You didn't look very good after the fight."

I frown, because I probably hadn't looked good. I'm sure I looked like garbage, having been punched hard enough to see stars, and hard enough that my nose had started bleeding after the fight was over.

"Not, I don't mean you don't look good…or…you know," Adam trips over his own words in an endearing manner. Nothing ever really made him nervous, and most things he met with total disdain. "Eva, are you gonna say something?"

"Sure," I look right at his face, too handsome, too sharp, and too close to mine. "Adam, why did you ask about Rachel?"

"Because…because Aja is… I guess he's…with her now?" Adam answers, and I feel six thousand percent better, even after everything. "I just thought we should include her since he'd ask her anyway. I did wonder where her friends went."

"I don't think any of them picked Dauntless," I close my eyes briefly, trying to remember who her friends were. They'd looked a lot like her, blonde and blonder, not entirely friendly but not entirely mean girls. At least not to me. "I think they picked Candor because they liked talking and none of them wanted to get their hair dirty."

Adam snorts at my words.

"You can just stay here you know," he offers, very quietly, so low that I'm not even sure he really said it. "Everyone is gone all night. There's a party they're having to welcome all the initiates in the Pit. Gunner said it's all night long."

"Sounds…loud," I answer, suddenly laughing with the realization that I'd attended a few of these parties. Not as an initiate, but with my parents. I was younger, and occasionally they'd brought me down there to check things out. My father made his required appearance, I had some punch and cookies, and we left once the initiates started checking out my mother. It was always fun, but nothing I wanted to do tonight. "Are you gonna go?"

"No."

His answer is very firm, and I realize he's very close to me. He's much larger than the last time I laid down beside him, and it gives me a mild dose of panic.

Kat was right to think he was hot.

"Do you remember when your mom used to insist that it was safer if we took a nap together? She was worried you'd wake up and wander out the front door and if I was there, then you wouldn't." Adam's eyes lock on mine, and I forget every single one of his scowls. It's a shame he's not in love with me, because he's nice to look at it, and his eyes are dark in this lighting. "And sometimes, we'd try to figure out a way to stay awake, so we could go downstairs?"

"Yeah, we never did. We always fell asleep," I grin at the memory, suddenly so real I could be there right now. "Your mom always brought tea and snacks and they would watch some terrible show and talk about whatever Rylan was doing. Which was usually stalking your mom."

He rolls his eyes.

"Rylan. Yeah, she said it was funny for a while. She also used to tell me your mom was one of her favorite people in the world. That she wouldn't even be married if it wasn't for her," Adam swallows, then moves closer. There's really no space between us, but there's even less now. "She loves you a lot. Everyone does."

"Oh…" My brain shuts itself off, because he sits up, just enough to grab the blanket, and I am about a hundred seconds behind in realizing that I've missed he's dressed like he's going to sleep.

I guess I am, too.

"You're like, still the same size you were then."

I also realize that Adam is so close that my knees are against his legs, and my head is toward the middle of his chest. If he'd move his arm, this would be how we had slept for years. Blissful naps taken while our mothers caught up on gossip. We'd had big plans then, usually involving figuring out how to get ice cream or an extra snack, but we never once made good on them.

"I am not!"

I mean to sound stern, but it comes out with a burst of laughter, right as he moves his arm.

And just like that, I'm right against him.

"It's safer if you stay here. Zander thinks they'll come looking for you," Adam whispers, and were I more coherent, I'd find insult in them thinking I needed someone looking out for me. Especially someone in my own class.

Especially Adam. I'd just proven I could take care of myself, and I certainly didn't need Adam Eaton keeping me safe.

"He said they'll patrol for a while, and it was the least he could do before your father killed him," Adam is still talking, but it's hard to pay attention.

All I can do is close my eyes and lie here, surrendering to the moment. I forget being annoyed at Zander and my father once I can feel the steady beating of Adam's heart, the warmth of his skin against mine, and the grossly unfair realization that I like this. Despite the jokes about our names and the amused snickers that one day I'd wind up marrying him, it's not at all terrible to be lying against him.

It's even less terrible when he sighs my name, calling me Evangelina, as he tells me goodnight.


	9. Chapter 9

Thank you, **Bamberlee**, for editing this chapter!

Thanks to everyone for reading & reviewing💕

* * *

The crash is loud.

My eyes fly open, completely disrupting the lovely, deep, warm sleep I had been in. I blink them shut a few times, the temptation to go back to sleep pulling at me, but I open them again when someone crashes into the frame of the bed a single bunk over.

In the dark, it's hard to make anything out. My view is mostly Adam's shirt, his arm thrown over to keep me from falling off the bed, and his head bent down toward me. When we were three, he wasn't that much larger than me, but things have changed. I can barely move, but I don't really want to. Adam isn't awake, nor does he wake up when the person swears 'fuck' as they hit their shin on the edge of the bunk. I stay still, wondering if anyone else is awake.

"Shit shit shit."

The panicked frenzy continues, and whoever it is, isn't at all quiet. I have no idea what time it is, for Adam and I had fallen asleep much earlier than anyone else, but it feels late. It feels like I've been sleeping for days and was only forced awake because of someone else's doing.

It also feels grossly unfair. I hadn't been sleeping great lately, and my one night of superior sleep has been interrupted by someone who can't see in the dark.

"My shoe! No, I sleep over there! Not here."

The person squeaks at someone trying to corral them to the right bed, still too close to where I am, and I try to turn my head without waking up Adam. He's either correct in his assumption that this person is down here to kill me, or someone else has had a few too many drinks at the party. I squint into the darkness, thinking I can see two people, but the reality is, I can't see further than a foot in front of me. I squint harder, but when they let out a high pitched giggle, I decide I'm going with the latter.

"SHUT UP."

Someone else yells out, cranky and tired and aware that we had to be up early, and not impressed. I relax, figuring that they were less likely to kill me if they'd been drinking. I turn back to face Adam, still asleep, and I close my eyes again.

"KAT, SERIOUSLY. IT'S 3 AM."

This time, the voice belongs to Pink, and she manages to wake up almost everyone in the room as Kat tries to find her bed. Adam moves, pulling his arm away from me and staring in confusion, until his expression changes.

"Eva?"

"Yeah?" I stare back, wondering if he'd forgotten he'd told me to lie down, because he looks like he's never seen me before.

"Is that…Vinny?" He sounds very concerned and very tired.

I smile, shaking my head. Adam is clearly half asleep, and he's mistaking Kat, returning from her night long adventure, as someone here to end my life.

"No, it's Kat. Kat what are you doing?" I call out, and a few people laugh. There's an odd delirium in the air, all of us exhausted and worn out, and it makes everything funny. "Where were you?"

"I'm going to bed!" Kat yelps, and there's a moment of frantic rustling and a loud thud as she drops her one shoe onto the floor. "I was…. outside."

"Okay, well go the fuck to sleep," Rachel hisses, and I realize she's close by. Very close by. Like probably a bed away from me, with her dashing Prince Charming. "Zander said we have class at eight. That's in five hours."

"I can count, thanks," Kat retorts, and someone else bursts out laughing. It sounds familiar, but not familiar enough for me to recognize at three am. "Sorry, it's just really dark in here."

"What is going on?" Adam asks slowly, and he sounds incredibly grumpy. "Who was she with?"

"I don't know. I don't think she knows, either," I move to leave, because really, not many murders would be committed between the hours of three am and seven am. I'd learned that from the documentary my father made me watch, and I had no idea it would ever come in handy. "I should go…"

"Back to sleep, yeah," Adam answers, and he throws his arm back around me. For someone who couldn't stand the sight of me and was probably only looking out for me because he was instructed to, he's awfully clingy.

I can't say I mind.

He's warmer than my cold, empty bed, and I can appreciate his graceless tact as he pulls me closer than before. There's a blurred moment until I'm right against his chest, and he can shove his leg over mine. His sleepy possessiveness would be intoxicating, except I can't breathe, and now I really can't move.

We'd spent years like this. I'd fallen asleep on him more times than I could ever count, knowing that he'd be there when I woke up. It had been one sharp kick to the stomach the day our naptime had come to an end, especially when he found me repulsive.

He doesn't now.

Adam falls right back asleep without any trouble. His hand is on my back, and he's out cold without much more than a deep sigh. I wondered if he was making up for lost time, or if he was just really tired. These thoughts plague my mind, causing me to second guess if he was only doing this because someone told him to, or if maybe he did like me and he didn't really want me to die. I debate this for a long time. I lay against him, enjoying the steady beat of his heart and the soft rise and fall of his chest for hours. My eyes don't close until I hear someone's alarm go off, and I realize that in a few minutes, everyone else will be up, too.

With great regret and even greater flexibility, I force myself up and out of bed, leaving Adam to wake up by himself.

* * *

"Where were you?"

Pink's demand falls on deaf ears. Kat looks away from both of us, only turning to catch my eye, then look away. Her cheeks are pink, but it could be the heat. It feels like it's a thousand degrees in the training room today, and it's only going to get hotter once we start working out.

"I was…at the party. With everyone else. Where were you?" Kat answers snippily, and her posture is defensive. "Look, I'm sorry I woke you up. I didn't mean to. I just got lost in the dark."

"Okay, but I was at the party and I didn't see you, and you came back at three in the morning," Pink answers slowly, and she's backed up by Rachel.

"We didn't see you, either." Rachel motions to Gunner and Aja, arriving with Adam. Rachel shakes her head when she looks at Kat, and there's a moment of something that makes her narrow her eyes. "Actually, I think Aja said he saw you leaving."

"Probably. It was super crowded." Kat ends the conversation with a shrug, and she crosses her arms over her chest. I notice she looks as tired as one would expect, as well as defensive. "Zander said we're partnering up today to fight and this one is scored. Does anyone want to partner up?"

"How do you know that? Zander isn't even here," I ask, ignoring the stare of Adam, Aja, and Gunner. They're only a few feet away, but they've stopped to talk amongst themselves.

I hadn't said much to Adam since very early this morning, and I hadn't even seen him for breakfast. I didn't want him to think I was avoiding him, but I wasn't quite sure what the proper etiquette was for seeing the person you'd slept against all night.

I probably should have asked my mother about this before I picked Dauntless.

"I…he said it yesterday. After you left," Kat really looks at me, and her eyes meet mine for one nervous moment. "How are you by the way? That fight looked brutal. I thought you'd be gone today. I would have taken the day off."

"I'm fine," I smile, not entirely lying. "I got a few shots from Arlene, Adam gave me something to put on my neck, and I feel way better than yesterday. I'm pretty sure I got all the blood out of my hair, too."

"Nah, you missed a spot," Aja laughs, and we all turn to see them right behind us. I don't get the chance to look at Adam, because Zander and Karl arrive, and they immediately walk through our group, waving us apart, before splitting into opposite directions.

"Okay, everyone grab your partner from yesterday…" Zander starts our day by yelling, and I momentarily panic. I don't have a partner, and if Zander assigned them while I was gone, that means that Adam and I will end up as partners by default.

Which might be awkward considering I'd spent the night with my head on his chest.

"And switch with the person to your right. Today's fight is scored, so make sure you're with someone you think is an even match. You'll be fighting only the Dauntless born."

"Eva," Adam says my name, coming closer to me to probably tell me last night was a mistake, and he only told me to lie down because Zander insisted on it. "Hey, I was wondering where you…"

"Eva, you're paired up with Nikolai." Zander interrupts Adam, looking irritable and tired himself. His hair isn't quite so neat today, and his shirt is wrinkled. I wonder if his night was spent thinking how he'd let my father down, or how my father would most definitely kill him if it happened again. "He promised he won't hurt you. Two mats to the left."

"Wait, Nikolai? I haven't even seen him in forever. I thought he chose…"

"Surprise, I'm back," Nikolai announces dryly, striding over to stop next to Adam. He smiles widely at both of us, making sure Adam notices, then he reaches for my arm. "I was a little…sick for a while. I got a late start. Had to make up all the time with that one, but now I'm back and ready to join the class."

"You were sick?" I look at Nikolai, and I realize I hadn't even seen him at the choosing ceremony. "With what?"

"Dysentery," he brightly informs me, and he pulls me away from Adam. "Come on, we should get started. I've been informed not to hurt you, so we'll just have some fun. My mother caught me up on everything, including how sad Adam's mother is that he isn't speaking to them. I see the angst is a family trait and hasn't lessened in the past weeks. Eva, you and I have a lot to discuss."

"Nikolai, what are you talking about?" I swat him away, not liking how he seems to loom over me, or how he's a lot fitter than the last time I saw him. "And really, where were you? I don't believe you were sick."

He rolls his eyes.

"Fine, I was in Candor. I hated it, so I called my mother and asked to come back. She agreed, but it took some convincing to get the others on board. I had to train with Karl, a delightful man, but after hours of working out with him, I'm happy to see people who don't enjoy working out at ten at night. Needless to say, not only did I catch up on initiation, I caught up on all the gossip. I heard you've had an exciting time. In fact, it's all anyone can focus on."

"It's been…" I pause, not even sure I was hearing him correctly. "You picked Candor? Really?"

He stares at me, with this look of insufferable patience. A few feet away, Adam is staring at him with a withering stare that would rival my father's. Actually, it's the same one his father has thrown at my father a few times, specifically when he's suggested something that he alone finds hilarious.

"It's a long story. One I don't have time for. I picked it thinking it would be nice to get away from here but turns out memorizing every law these factions have is not my thing." He pauses to look at me, and his eyes are bright. "But, Dauntless always needs a soldier, so I was allowed to transfer back. It's not entirely common, nor accepted, but my mother helped. Had I been anyone else, I would have been shit out of luck."

"That doesn't seem fair," I start to stay, but he rolls his shoulders back, and glances to the left of me as Adam leaves, but not without one dark glare in our direction. "They just… let you come back? What if everyone asks?"

"Like I said, Eva Coulter, I was sick. Your own father signed off on it, so I'm assuming it's fine."

I nod, not really sure what else to say. There was something odd about his story, but Nikolai was always sort of odd. "Alright, well…let's get started, I guess."

Nikolai grins again, and I only hope this fight goes better than the last.

* * *

It does.

Far better.

Turns out, Nikolai was well trained. He was quick; fast at fighting, and even faster at manipulating the situation. I bet he'd learned that part from his mother, but I found myself enjoying my time with him, even if he peppered our fight with his own interrogation.

"Are you going to tell me about Adam? Step forward with your left foot this time, then punch," Nikolai instructs like he's teaching the class, but I listen, because he was sort of challenging to fight and I felt like this would come in handy if I had to fight against someone his size. "Before you ask, Karl showed me all this. We had a lot of time to make up and he's a fantastic instructor. But tell me, how is the lovelorn and angsty Adam Eaton?"

"Adam is fine," I try to punch Nikolai, and I smile when I hit his side. So far, I wasn't at all feeling nervous or hesitant, and the fight with Kiley was slowly fading from my mind. "He seems happy, not angsty and definitely not lovelorn."

"He must be very happy to be away from his parents," Nikolai muses, punching back as Zander walks by. Zander nods when he doesn't see any blood, and he moves on to watch Kat fight against Pink. "You know, his mother isn't that bad. His father is insufferable, but from what I've gathered, he at least knows what's going on around here."

"They're fine," I shake my head, stepping back. "They just wanted him to grow up with some morals. It's not the worst thing they could have done."

"True," Nikolai agrees, and he steps off the mat to grab his water. "I heard he's…struggling a bit."

"With what?" I ask, taking a drink of my own water. It's almost too cold, but I drink it down anyway. I'm still sore in a few places, and I'd discovered some dark, ugly bruises, but thanks to whatever Arlene had given me, I felt fine. "He seems to be doing great. I think when they post the rankings, he'll be…at the top."

I stop myself before revealing I know the ranks, but they've probably changed by now.

"Not the initiation. With you," Nikolai sounds smug, and he looks even smugger as I set the water down. "Imagine being around the girl you've liked for years, and you can't do a single thing about it because it's like some untold prophecy that doesn't line up with your newer, darker side."

"You're oddly dramatic in your return," I smirk at him, and he laughs. "Adam hasn't liked me for years. Things are good now because everyone has eased up on mocking our names and insisting we'll be married to each other."

"So you don't want to be Eva Eaton?" Nikolai cheekily winks, then makes a face when Zander stomps past us. He keeps looking back over his shoulder, and he walks with the grace of an angry toddler. "You could start a whole new life together. I imagine it would be therapeutic for your parents as well. Probably heal some lingering issues they've buried, knowing their kids wound up okay."

I'm thrown off momentarily. I'd forgotten that Nikolai had this side to him. The one where he got all the insider information because his mother spent all her time in Adam's dad's office or digging up dirt on him, and Nikolai got to hear all about it.

I take a second to pretend I don't care, and as far as I knew, there were no deep dark secrets my parents were hiding from me.

"Funny, but I don't want to get married. Not now. And Adam would rather die than be married to me. He's only been hanging around because he feels obligated," I look at Nikolai, and the expression on his face tells me he doesn't believe me.

He shouldn't.

I suppose if you looked at the minor details –Adam and I showing up to Dauntless last, him walking me to the infirmary, inviting me to sleep beside him just in case Vinny showed up –it might hint at something else.

But Nikolai wasn't here for any of that, and he was wrong for all the reasons he would never understand.

There was a lot of history between Adam and I, and it had culminated to the point where it felt like everyone was waiting for the final act in some play the two of us were stuck in. I wasn't naïve enough to assume we weren't a topic of conversation, or at least some whispered interest around a water cooler.

People here wanted to know if we'd end up together, and ultimately, that was what had driven us apart.

It wasn't that I wanted to get married at the ancient, elderly age of eighteen, but there was something about knowing my mother had married my father when she was my age that felt like an unspoken pressure to do the same thing. I knew Christina was probably secretly hoping I'd leave initiation engaged just so she could plan a party. My own mother wouldn't be opposed to it, nor would Adam's mother. The two of them would probably be very happy, knowing their children had wound up together, and they'd be there to witness it.

But I didn't feel the need to start out my first few months of freedom engaged to someone, nor would I be doing so for anyone else's reasons.

"You know, they say denial is a river…somewhere…but it's also clearly an accurate description of you and Adam. No one gives a shit about who you end up with. That's the beauty of Dauntless. Anything goes. You could probably marry TJ and the whole faction would celebrate. But…turn around in a second, pretend you're getting another drink, and behold, the gaze of your lifelong best friend, who's spent years denying what he feels for you."

I scowl at Nikolai.

I didn't appreciate him talking to me like he was some wise, all knowing wizard, nor did I like him telling me what to do. But I am thirsty, so I turn to grab my water again, and Nikolai isn't entirely wrong.

There, three mats away is Adam. Watching Nikolai and I, rather than fighting. His partner is Gunner, and the two of them are both staring at me, unsmiling. I smile, but Adam barely smiles back. In fact, he looks annoyed, and feeling stupid, I turn away.

Nikolai steps closer, bending down to whisper in my ear. "I heard you left him all alone in his bed this morning. Who knew Eva Coulter would do such a thing? He's got to be crushed. Or...a little frustrated. Maybe that's why he looks so pissed off."

He's totally kidding, but my cheeks burn at his words.

Though he wasn't entirely wrong with that part, either.

"I had to get ready," I turn back to Nikolai, now so close I nearly bump into his chest. "We should finish our fight."

"It would be my honor," Nikolai grins, and he slings his arm around my shoulders as we walk back to the mat. "Just…next time stay in bed with him. He's lived his whole life under the watchful eye of his parents. You both could stand to live a little."

I turn to tell him that's enough, but it's easier to just punch him in the head.

So I do.

* * *

This time, my shower is heavenly.

I lazily wash my hair, enjoying the pretty scent of my own shampoo, and I go as far as closing my eyes and pretending I'm back home. It's not that I want to be upstairs in my parent's apartment, but for a fleeting moment, it's a great escape. I pretend that I'll step out of the shower into my own bathroom, grab a dark towel, and head into my bedroom. My father will be making dinner, and my mother will be sitting on the counter, helping by watching and telling him about her day. They'd both be waiting for me, and over dinner, my father would tell me all the things he and his friends did, and my mother would roll her eyes and remind him they weren't twenty anymore.

I close my eyes tighter.

Being homesick was stupid.

I wasn't even that far from my home, but it hurt in ways I didn't expect, because all of this was unfamiliar. Even though I knew Dauntless like the back of my hand, I couldn't help but feel slightly out of place amongst my own friends. Maybe that's why sleeping beside Adam had felt so good, because for those few hours, my subconscious was soothed by the familiar feeling of my friend beside me.

I open my eyes to a burning feeling, but also to the sound of someone starting the shower beside me.

Since I'd decided to take a shower in peace after spending my day punching Nikolai, there were only a few people who would have been down in this locker room. I'd left after getting my score from Zander. He was impressed with how well Nikolai and I had worked together, and even more impressed that there was no blood. In fact, without anyone threatening me, the day was almost boring.

Aside from Adam's glances and Nikolai's smug grins.

Zander had dismissed us shortly after. Kat and Pink were going to take showers then head upstairs for dinner, and Rachel had followed me for a few steps, whispering that she needed to talk to me. I told her sure, but I took a hard left when we came to the split in the hallway, and decided I'd take advantage of the ability to shower alone.

I was lucky; I'd swiped my key card, it had opened up to the trainer's locker room, and I discovered Adam hadn't been lying. There was no one in here, but there was a locker with the last name Coulter on it. My key card opened that up, too, and my luck continued there. Someone, probably my mother, had stocked it with all kinds of things that my father wouldn't be using. The pink shampoo bottles she'd always bought, fluffy towels, clothes that wouldn't be at all suspicious since we could both wear them, and a note.

I'd opened it up slowly, and I was right.

It was from my mother. She told me she loved me, and if I wasn't going to stay with her, she hoped this would help.

It did.

I was still washing my hair twenty minutes later, and my only interruption was someone shoving the other shower curtain open and turning on the water. For a few moments, there is only the sound of the showers and the hum of the fluorescent lighting, until I realize that the only person who could be in here was Adam.

It could be someone else. Maybe Karl, having finished with the transfers, or Zander, which would have been weird.

But there's a familiarity to the exhaled sigh, and I know it's neither of them.

"Adam?"

"Yeah."

His answer is flat. It's heavy and unhappy, and I know the sound all too well. It was the _yeah_ he gave his dad when asked if he was okay. The _yeah _he gave my father, when he was asked if his father was home. The _yeah_ he gave his mother, when she told him he had homework to do, and it wasn't smart to be out late, even if I was.

"Are you okay?" I rinse my hair, closing my eyes again, and counting until he answers. I get to eighteen before he sort of grunts, and twenty three before I figure out if that's an actual answer or not.

"How was Nikolai?"

This time, his words are unimpressed.

"It seemed like you were having a fun time."

"He's uh, interesting. He said Karl trained him before he could come back. He had to make up the time," I answer, and I reach for the conditioner. I squeeze out far more than I'd used of the shampoo, and I work it through my hair. "He said he picked Candor and hated it, so he asked to come back. Everyone had to sign off on it."

Adam's answer is a huff of exasperation. "That sounds incredibly unfair. Shouldn't he be factionless?"

"That's what I thought. He said our dads voted on it." I stop, and I'm suddenly very aware that he's taking a shower less than two feet away from me. "Have you talked to your dad at all? Since…since we chose Dauntless?"

"No," Adam answers, but it's drowned out by water, and I can only imagine he's washing his hair. "I've seen him a few times, but I just…I don't have anything to say to him. I don't want his advice or him telling me how to make it through initiation. I don't even want to hear what he thinks about the rankings."

I twirl the ends of my hair, and even though I can't see him, I turn to face the shower curtain separating us. "Have you seen them? Did Zander show you?"

There's a beat of silence, and he fumbles with something. "Jason did. He sent me a picture of them. He said I should know. He thought it would be good motivation or something. I like your uncle and all, but I thought it was weird when he gave me my phone. I didn't even know he had my number."

"He's just trying to help," I think of Jason, grinning as he showed me the rankings, and how proud he'd been. "He likes you. Besides, everyone is happy you're first."

I rinse my hair out and turn the shower off. Adam doesn't answer me, and I don't expect him to. I have a feeling his father had a lot of concerns about the initiation, and there had to be pressure for Adam to rank highly. We all knew it would be mortifying if he and I ranked lowly, but more so because his father had ranked first.

Mine had told me about this, smirkily informing me he'd let him, because he felt bad.

I step out of the shower while Adam turns his off, and I wrap myself in the large, pink towel my mother had brought down here. It smells like home, and I try not to focus on this as I carefully squeeze out my hair. When I look back up, Adam is standing there, with his own towel slung around his hips.

"You're fourth. That's really good considering who's in the classes."

He stares at me like he doesn't know me, or maybe that he knows me too well. His eyes find mine, and to my surprise, there's not a hint of awkwardness. There should be plenty. He's standing in front of me, shirtless, with only a towel on. Were Kat in here, she'd have been gasping for air or have passed out already, but there's none of that.

Only the odd feeling that this feels absolutely fine. I'd slept against his chest last night, and now I was staring at him while he walked toward me.

"Have you talked to your dad?" Adam's stare finds mine, unwavering while I straighten myself up. I wish I was taller so I could look at him without having to crane my head up, but there's something pleasant about the way he takes up all the space. "Since…since Kiley?"

"No," I shake my head, and he's even closer. His head tilts, and the water drips down from his hair onto his neck. "My mom wanted me to come home and I told her no. I said I'd be fine. Is that why…is that why you had me sleep next to you? Did he tell you to?"

"No," Adam laughs, his face less tense than I've seen it all day. "Your father most certainly did not ask me to have you sleep in my bed. I think he'd probably frown on that."

"Oh," I should take a step back, onto the cold tile and away from Adam, but instead, I step closer. "I think he'd be good with anything so long as I stay alive."

Adam grins. It's not the same smirky one he liked to throw around, but a genuine smile, like the time we managed to score unlimited dessert because our fathers were arguing over who got to pay the bill at Clyde's. "Eva, are you worried that Vinny will….

He stops speaking, only because someone throws the door open. We both turn in surprise, but I get even more of a surprise when Adam pushes me back a few steps, hiding us both out of the way and around the second row of lockers.

"It's too risky."

The voice belongs to Zander, and I hear him stomp around, slamming open what I can only assume is his locker. He's listening to someone, and finally, he sighs.

"Look, I'll see what I can do. Meet me at 9 by the chasm. I know it's late, but the patrols change then, and we can head outside. But this is it. I can't do this much longer, and you know why." He must be on the phone, because there's a slam as he tosses the phone into his locker, and his mumbled _fuck_ as he grabs a few things out of it.

"We have to go. We're not really supposed to be in here," Adam lowly reminds me, his arm pressed against mine. We stick close to the lockers, silently hoping Zander won't wander over here.

I nod, because while we could be in this locker room, the two of us together would raise some suspicion.

"How?" I pull the towel closer to me, and I realize my clothes are in the locker. "My stuff is over there."

"Okay, just wait. He has to go take a shower soon."

Adam sticks right next to me, and I swear it takes Zander an hour to decide he's finally going to take a shower. He keeps muttering the word fuck, sometimes motherfucker, but mostly fuck.

He finally turns the shower on, and I hope he's not about to use my fancy shampoo.

"Okay, go. Grab your stuff and we'll get out of here," Adam pulls me along with him, and we walk around the opposite way, returning into the main locker room.

I work fast.

I throw the locker open as quietly as I can, and I pull out everything I need. A few lockers down, Adam does the same. He does turn away to get dressed, but I don't really have time to be worried about any of that. I pull the not-at-all-cold-weather-appropriate dress over my head, slide up the pink underwear my mother had sweetly stowed in here, and I shove the towels back in. I stop, only to turn and catch Adam pulling his shirt on, and I motion toward the shower.

"My shampoo," I gesture at the shower I was using, and he shakes his head.

"Just leave it. We'll come back later."

"Yeah, but Zander might use it," I insist, and Adam looks ready to murder me. It's a funny look on him, and he contemplates going back for one second. He finally shakes his head no, and points at the showers.

"I'm not going over there just so you can get your special soap. You can get it when your uncle isn't in here. Unless you want to explain why we're both taking a shower together. You know he'll tell your dad, who will tell your mother, who will…in turn…tell _my_ mother."

I nod, because he's right.

With that, he reaches out to take my arm, but he misses entirely.

He winds up taking my hand, and he all but pulls me out of the locker room. There's a moment of sweet relief as the door shuts behind us, and he pulls me along further.

"Hurry. I don't think it takes him quite as long to wash his hair as it does you," Adam is a step ahead of me, leading me through the dark hallway. I laugh, but stop after a second. It's downright freezing in here, and my wet hair doesn't help.

We walk quickly, until the low lighting in the hallway grows brighter and the lone sign on the wall reads Initiate Dorms.

"We can still make dinner if you hurry." Adam glances down at me, and I glance up at him.

From beneath dripping wet hair, and the sheer panic of knowing Zander wouldn't keep his mouth shut. While I normally wouldn't care what he told my parents, Adam clearly did.

"Let me just grab a jacket," I answer, and I find myself smiling up at him. Really smiling. Even with Zander interrupting us and me having to leave my good shampoo behind, things are better than they were all day, even an hour ago. "Then you and I will go eat?"

His fingers tighten on mine at my question.

It feels forbidden, such a stupid simple act. I'd held his hand a million times. When I learned to walk, he was the first person I ever grasped onto. I'd held his hand through countless walks through the faction, and countless strolls through the woody areas my father deemed safe for us to go into.

"I want to tell you something. After dinner," I blurt out, suddenly thinking of Nikolai's words from earlier, and to my relief, Adam nods.

"Yeah, yeah we can come back here. Hopefully, everyone will be done for the night."

He lets go of my hand, and patiently waits while I go grab a jacket.

I hurry, trying to wring my hair out while I walk, and hoping it'll air dry quickly. I rifle through the bag, hoping there's something warm in it, and I grab the first and only jacket my mother has packed for me.

The one that was Adam's.


	10. Chapter 10

Thank you SO MUCH to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter! Happy Wedding Anniversary to you and Steve!

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter💙

Just a heads up, I'm not entirely sure I'll post 11 tonight. I have it, but I'm leaving for a pumpkin patch/Zombieland 2 tonight and I have no clue when I'll be back. If not, enjoy and we'll see how this one goes over.

Have a super fun weekend

* * *

He is still beneath me.

For one triumphant moment, I am the winner of this childhood, teenage, young adult battle of awkward feelings and forced togetherness. Adam is beneath me, his hands on my hips, and one satisfied smirk on his face as I lean back, declaring WINNER loudly enough that a few feet away, Gunner laughs so hard he chokes on his water.

"Okay, nice work Coulter. Next time try coming at me when I'm looking and see how well that goes for you," Adam grins at me, completely unbothered, and a second later, I feel myself falling off of him. My head hits the mat with a thud, and he's over me before I can do more than laugh.

"You have a terrible attention span. So egotistical with your win, Eva." He's full on laughing in a way I haven't heard him laugh before, because we both knew my win was garbage.

I'd been partnered with him because Zander was in the worst mood ever, and he felt like everyone should suffer. This was the Zander I remember from the day when Adam had deemed him uncool. His hair hangs in his eyes, his shoulders are up high, and his jacket is zipped all the way up. He'd crankily paired us up by a random number order, then had us fight to the death for the first hour. This was our last day of practice, and tonight, the rankings would be revealed.

"Just wait till you have to throw knives. You'll probably take out an eye," Adam laughs again, and I can't do anything more than laugh along with him.

The joke would be on him when he found out I already knew how to throw the knives. There was no way my father would let me fail such an old, outdated method of fighting, so I'd learned when I was five. I'm sure it wasn't an activity most children were taught, but it felt normal enough to me. It certainly wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible, either.

"It's okay. I just hope you keep laughing when I surpass you in the rankings," I grin, and his eyes widen in surprise as I manage to wiggle free of him. He watches with a delighted expression on his face, and this new rivalry was much more fun than our old one.

Things were good.

Really good.

Last night, we'd shown up to dinner together, joining our friends at the long table they were seated at. No one seemed to notice or care that we'd shown up together, and no one seemed to notice that I had wet hair, a sundress, and Adam's jacket on. We'd quickly grabbed a few things that looked edible enough and spent most of the dinner listening to Aja tell Rachel one brave story about a ghostly dark night in Dauntless that no one believed.

She did, but everyone else just snickered while he tried to impress her.

We'd walked back to the dormitory shortly after, and I had wanted to tell Adam thank you. I also wanted to talk to him, and maybe sneak back to get my shampoo, but I was pulled away by Pink and Rachel, and instead, I listened to Rachel half whisper that she thought someone was sneaking around and something was up. I didn't quite get what she meant, and I was thinking it had to do with something that happened while I was in the infirmary, but I felt dumb reminding her of that. Instead, I listened, and I shrugged when she said we should keep our eyes open.

Pink agreed, mostly to shut Rachel up, and I wound up falling asleep on Pink's bed out of sheer exhaustion. I woke up feeling great, and not even Zander's tired stare and grouchy demeaner was enough to bother me.

"Fuck, I heard the knives are hard. Someone said Eva's dad used to lose his shit when initiates couldn't hit the targets. Like full on made them stand in front of the targets while people threw the knives if they said anything," Gunner watches me scramble to my feet, then grins. "You already know how to throw them, don't you?"

"Duh," I turn to Adam, extending my hand out mockingly, and he shakes his head with a smirk. "There's a trick to it. However, I think you know anyone who wants me to tell them how to cheat winds up not very happy."

"Yeah, that's right. How could I forget? You're the one we should all fear," Gunner laughs, and a second later, Adam's palm touches mine. Another second later, I fall back onto the mat, jerked down by him. I turn to glare at Adam, but he's laughing as he hops to his feet. "You two are funny. Hope you're both this entertaining when the fear landscapes start."

His words kill my good mood faster than Zander announcing we'd be going for another run.

The fear landscapes were something that were often talked about, but rarely in a way that could spark any sort of hope. They were talked about almost like some rite of passage, as though confronting your worst and most terrible fears in front of an instructor was something everyone should experience once in their life.

My mother had told me about it once, but her eyes had flicked to my dad, and he looked away. It was one of the rare times there was a flinch in his posture, and my stomach had sunk.

He'd handled her entire initiation by himself, but I got the feeling either something had happened during her fear landscape, or he'd been called away and couldn't control what was going on. Neither option made me feel better, and it left me thinking there was something I should be afraid of.

"I think…they'll be fine. You just have to get through them," I answer, trying to wrack my brain for what I knew about them. I knew that Christina hated them, that Jason and Rylan both thought they were stupid, and Karl said he found them to be pointless, but he'd excelled at them. "I mean, it's just a few fears, and then it's over."

"Yeah, but they could be anything. I heard it's shit you didn't even know you were afraid of. Bugs, the dark, demons…" Gunner trails off, looking very unlike someone who'd be scared of anything. Especially bugs. "Did your dad tell you about them?"

"No, but I could ask."

I make the snap decision that I will call him. Maybe I'll sneak out tonight and see if he can tell me anything about them. All I knew was that once you got through the first one, the rest were somewhat easier since you knew what was coming.

"Yeah, let us know. I'm not looking forward to that part," Gunner watches me for a moment, then shakes his head. "At least we all have to do it."

"You should. Maybe there's a trick or something," Adam is right beside me, and he brushes against my arm as he walks past. He looks back once, and his grin from earlier is gone. It's replaced with a look of apprehension, so heavy that I feel it in my bones.

I know why. With those few words from Gunner, the good mood is gone; the bubble of happy ease has been burst. In its place is the reminder that this entire experience is truly out of our hands, and soon, we will be shown every single thing we fear, including the ones we aren't willing to admit.

* * *

The rest of the day is a blur of training, eating lunch with my friends, and more training. I spent a good portion of lunch listening to Kat talk about something called survival training, and I realize I must be really tired. I haven't heard it brought up yet, but I assumed it was the same training we'd done in school. Scaling walls, climbing fences, learning how to ignore your fear of heights or falling as we pulled ourselves higher and higher. I smiled when she elbowed me and I joined her for the rest of the afternoon.

Now that it was just her and I, I felt like there was something different about her, but I couldn't put my finger on it.

Her hair seemed redder, her eyes seemed brighter, and her lusty obsession with every male around us had come to a screeching halt.

"Are you going to say hello?" I fix my hair while she full on ignores the guys walking past us. I know their names, Blade, Jagger, and Tommy, and they'd all said hello. They'd called it out in a pretty friendly manner; they were sweaty and tired from fighting, and they were probably more being polite than anything. But where Kat would have once gaped at them, tan and shirtless, fit and tall, and all grinning as they strolled past us to head outside, today they catch nothing more than her look of disdain.

"No, I don't know them," Kat shrugs, and she looks past me. "I'm sure they're nice. I'm just…focused on training. I don't want to fail."

"You'll be fine," I promise her. From even just this fight, I could tell she'd improved majorly, and I half wonder if she was staying late to practice. "I think you'll be safe. Even if your rank isn't what you're hoping, there's time to fix it."

I'm trying to be helpful, but she looks at me like I'm an alien.

"Eva, no offense, but you could fail the entire thing and stay here. I don't have that luxury." She looks over my shoulder again, and the tight look on her face lessens when she catches my expression. As much as I hated to admit it, her words sting.

I had never thought she'd be one to go along with the theory that I could just ask my dad to make sure I passed. In fact, I hadn't expected any of his help. I knew he'd do whatever it took to keep me here, but I'd been determined to make it on my own. Maybe Kat had been so MIA that she hadn't noticed I'd been attacked twice now, all with the assumption that I had an in, or maybe she thought I was being given some special treatment.

I don't know which one made me feel worse.

"Okay," I take a step back, and I don't like the way this feels. "Um, I'm gonna…go grab some water."

"Eva," Kat starts, and her face falls, too. She looks far unlike the girl who sat beside me in Art class, and more like someone I don't know. I finally figure out what it is when her gaze lands anywhere but on me. "I'm sorry. I sound like a bitch, and I'm not trying to be. I'm just tired and those boys are dumb and immature. I don't have to say hello to any of them."

"They're not immature," I point out, but I don't have anything to back this statement. I didn't know them very well, but they were our age, and they were currently in the same initiation we were. "They're in this with us. I think that's…saying something."

"Well, I'm done with boys our age. They all suck," Kat shakes her head, but her stare zeros right in on me. "I mean, I spent an entire year staring at the back of Adam's head only for him to be staring at you. And you spent an entire year pretending you didn't know he liked you and wallowing in your own pity over about how terrible and tragic it was that everyone wasn't falling at your feet."

These words catch me by complete surprise.

I hadn't forgotten Kat's crush on Adam, but it had seemed pretty harmless. We all agreed he was fairly untouchable. He wasn't going to let anyone get close to him, and he didn't seem interested in any of us. But I had never once expected anyone to like me. I would have liked someone to, even if it wound up being nothing more than asking me to go for a walk or grab a coffee.

I wasn't aware that was some horrible thing to ask for.

"I never…I didn't pretend anything. He barely spoke to me," I remind her, right as the heavy footsteps behind me announce Zander's arrival. "And…I don't care if anyone…"

I don't know where I'm going with this. I suppose I _do_ care, but admitting that out loud feels mortifying. Before I can think of a way to fix this, I feel Zander slap me on the shoulder, and he stops next to me. He glances down, taking in the downturn of my posture and he frowns. "You guys good?"

"Yeah, we're great."

Kat's answer is flat, and she stares Zander down like he's some major threat. I suppose he is. Maybe she's mad at me because she also thought I'd be able to help her. Maybe I should have asked Zander to look out for her. Maybe I could have been a better friend, rather than trying to unravel whatever look Adam was currently throwing me.

Which was a fairly unreadable one.

He was also shirtless, walking slowly with Gunner and Aja, all looking in our direction. They nod at Zander, blanche at the look on Kat's face, then hurry up to the furthest corner of the training room without looking back.

"Kat, you sure? You look upset," Zander questions, and Kat's expression lessens just a bit. He walks toward her, and I feel like the odd man out when he bends down to ask her something. They talk for a minute, until she nods and bites her lip.

I suddenly wonder what her score is. I wonder if she is near the bottom, even with all her improvement.

If it is, I should ask Zander for help. It wasn't entirely too late. I could find him after dinner, and maybe ask him to ease up on his scoring. I could even ask my dad to ask him, because there was no way Zander could ever tell him no.

I don't think about it for too long.

Zander turns to look at me, and he smiles. Patiently. Then he gestures with a nod of his head that I should go, and I don't need to be told twice.

I take off, leaving Zander to talk to Kat, and I try to pretend her words don't bother me.

* * *

My eyes are tired by the time Zander posts the rankings.

I stand next to Kat, who had sheepishly walked up next to me and taken my hand in hers. She whispered one very low _Eva, I'm so sorry I'm just really worried and I shouldn't have taken it out on you_ and I forgave her without thinking twice. After leaving her with Zander, I had spent a good twenty minutes thinking I was a pretty crappy person, until I realized I wasn't. I brushed off what she said as stress, and figured I'd let it go. I spent the remaining hour trying to figure out if I could sneak away to call my dad, and occasionally watching Pink make Gunner laugh every time Aja asked if anyone knew he could do a backflip.

A minute later, we are joined by Pink and Rachel, and we all stand together to watch as the board lights up, then neatly lists all our names.

Adam's name is first.

Aja is second.

Gunner is third.

I am fourth.

Pink is right beneath me, followed by a few names I don't recognize. There are others who sound intimidating: someone named Valor, a girl named Litzi who had transferred from Abnegation and had barely spoken to anyone, and Brexley and Brentley. I keep skimming, and to my relief, I find Kat has moved up to fifteenth. Next to me, she exhales heavily and squeezes my arm.

"I was so terrified I'd be at the bottom. This isn't bad at all," she whispers, and I turn to smile at her.

Her improvement was definitely a good thing, but it wasn't entirely unsuspicious. She'd been working hard to up her score, and from what I saw, she was slowly becoming better and better. It could be passed off as her own dedication to ensuring her spot here, or something else entirely.

A few people are staring at her, her bright red hair now braided down the sides of her head and tied with dark, black bands at the end, and I know they're trying to remember if they'd watched her fight. They hadn't seen her earlier score, but they don't need to to know she'd been struggling. So her ranking was impressive, even more so that she wasn't that far off from the top.

"You're doing great," I squeeze her hand back, watching Zander admire the board. He looks better than he did this morning. Gone is the sulky expression and death glare, and it's replaced with one accomplished smile.

He grins at all of us, and gestures dramatically at the first column.

"Now, the real competition begins. These spots aren't permanent, nor are they any indication of your final rank. Don't get sloppy on me."

His words cause a celebration of whistles and screams as the first wave of ranking is firmly established. Those on the bottom now have a different outlook on what's needed to stay here, and those on the top know they have to protect their rank.

I turn to find Adam, wanting to congratulate him, but instead all I find is the heavy stare of Vinny, standing two rows behind me. He holds my stare, not entirely unfriendly but certainly not anything kind, until he finally turns away from me.

He's ranked twentieth, but something tells me not to write him off.

* * *

"Will I die during it?"

My father looks at me from across the table at Clyde's, and he shrugs. His posture is more casual than normal, but that could be the dark lighting and the look of indifference on his face as someone greets him out of sheer respect and horror.

"Maybe."

"What!?" I shriek, and he finally cracks the barest hint of a smile. "I can really die during the fear landscape?!"

"No, Eva, relax," my father waves Lucy over, and he orders another beer. Then another. Then another. "No one has ever died during one. They just aren't…pleasant. Imagine everything you've ever been afraid of, all at once. Like one long dream that doesn't end."

"How was yours?" I look up at him, my hair air dried and everywhere, and my dress not at all warm. My mother had packed all sorts of things we both liked, and while I adored her for doing so, she could have at least thrown in a dress with sleeves. "Was it bad?"

I reach for the jacket I'd brought, Adam's hoodie, and I shrug it on while he avoids the question.

"It was…how it was. I just let it happen, got through it, and that was it." He looks at me, then fidgets with the sleeve on his jacket. His wedding band is dark, and it stands out against his skin. "There's been some talk that they don't do anything more than place more stress on the initiates, but the belief is once you know what you're afraid of and you can conquer that fear, you'll be prepared for anything."

"What were you afraid of? When was the last time you went through one?" I take a sip of the soda Lucy had brought me, and I wait for him to answer.

I'd called him right after dinner, and he'd answered immediately. He had met me without question, and to my great disappointment, my mother wasn't here. He told me she was with Christina. The two of them had gone shopping, and from his groan, I knew that meant they wouldn't be back until much later.

"Forever ago. I'm sure it would be much different now," he answers tightly, and my father doesn't look utterly thrilled at this particular line of questioning. I nod, silently encouraging him to go on.

He didn't like to talk about any of this stuff.

While he'd tell me certain things about Dauntless, he was pretty guarded when it came to his life here. Or at least the parts that didn't make him look as tough as he wanted.

"Mine started out with things anyone would assume…you know, fear of failure. Fear of people not respecting me. Fear of…living a life that I didn't want. Being embarrassed in front of those I wanted respect from. They change over time. I'm sure now it would be losing your mother. Losing you. Someone hurting either of you. Your mother forgetting who I am. Being forced to call Four in an emergency."

"Oh," I slump in my seat, and none of this makes me feel better. "Can everyone see what you're afraid of? Like, someone watches?"

"The simulations? No. The fear landscape at the end? Yes. It's the culmination of your initiation, so usually the leaders watch. They watch to see how you handle each fear. They look for things that stick out…they used to look for uh, discrepancies in how you proceeded."

He stops talking, swallows heavily, and looks right at me.

"Eva, you don't have to worry about it. It's just another training tool. You're scored as a pass/fail on it. Either you do it, or you don't. But no one has ever died, and no one is ever traumatized enough that they can't continue. Well, maybe one person didn't come back."

"Are you sure?" I sit back up, reaching for the plate Lucy drops off. It has cake on it, and my father had ordered it before anything else. "Do you want some?"

"I'll have a bite. I ordered it for you," my father smiles, but he looks past me and waves at someone.

Two bites of overly rich cake later, Jason and Rylan slide into the booth beside him, and Adam's father sits down next to me. I greet all of them cheerfully, but I feel oddly ambushed, especially when the questions start.

"So, Evangelina…" Rylan is first, and I should know by his grin and my full name that he's been waiting to catch me alone to talk about the initiation. "What's going on? How's initiation? Anyone, uh, quit yet?"

"Not that I know of. I think it's going fine. I only know of one person who was kicked out," I smile, and Jason elbows him.

"Eva almost died. Does that count?"

"I'm fine," I remind them, and I watch as my father takes one very reluctant bite of the cake. "I clearly am alive, Zander is a good trainer, and everyone seems pretty happy with their rankings. They appear to be very fair. Which is shocking because I very distinctly remember Zander cheating at every game we ever played growing up."

Rylan snorts.

Next to me, Adam's father shifts in his seat. He's been silent since he sat down, and not because he was uncomfortable here. I knew he'd long buried whatever feud he'd had with my father, and that meant Jason and Rylan had, too. They couldn't always help themselves, especially Rylan, but the four of them were ironically close.

"And….Adam? What's the news with him?" Rylan tries to be slick. He elbows Jason back, then winks at Four like I'm not sitting across from him. "You guys…talking?"

I look up at Adam's father, and for a second, he looks hopeful. He smiles down at me, and I smile back.

"He's really good. He ranked first. I don't think anyone will be able to beat him," I take a bite of the cake, and everyone waits until I swallow. "What? What else do you want me to tell you? Was that not enough?"

"No, that's…enough. Don't feel like you have to…" Adam's dad starts, but Rylan interrupts him.

"Four, no. As much as we all love Eva, we came down here to get the gossip. We know Adam ranked first. Who's he hanging out with? Who's he dating? What's his workout routine? Why did he cut his hair?"

He slams his fist down at the last one, upset over being dumped by Adam in the long haired acquaintance category.

"All good questions," I shrug, and I try not to laugh. "I have talked to him. He's happy, I think. As happy as one can be while they're beating up their friends and I'm assuming he cut his hair because he knew it would never be as glorious as yours."

My father lets out a huff of laughter as Rylan sits up straighter, looking pleased as ever, and Lucy arrives with the beers. He's ordered them for everyone, and he slides the largest one to Adam's father.

"Here. You've earned it."

"Thanks," Adam's father mutters, and he looks at me. "Eva…it's not fair of me to ask…" He doesn't finish his sentence, and his fingers tighten on the large glass.

"Okay, enough of Four's deep thoughts," Rylan snickers, leaning across the table. "I heard you and Adam were up on the roof."

My eyes immediately flash to Jason. He looks guilty as ever, and he averts his stare after a moment. "For like, a minute. We went to get some air. It's been a weird week for everyone. We were a little surprised to see Jason leading a manhunt up there."

My father turns to look at Jason, and his expression tells me he didn't know this, but I'm not sure which part. He stares for a beat, looking at me, then back to Jason, then bites down on his cheek. "And? Did you find anything?"

"Nope. I don't think anyone's gonna stroll in here and announce they'd like to turn themselves in." Jason sneaks a glance at me and shrugs. "We weren't out there long. The storm didn't let up and we couldn't see shit. And Eva, I told you, initiation is all fun and games until you realize it's just started. As cool as Zander is, it's an adjustment. It feels weird since you're here, but…not _here_."

"Well look at you, the voice of logic," Rylan dryly retorts, and Adam's father cracks a smile.

He still doesn't look particularly cheerful, and I feel more than a speck of sympathy for him.

"I'm sorry about Adam not speaking to you, Mr. Eaton. I could tell him…to maybe come by…" I trail off, trying to imagine this conversation. It might go well if I wasn't looking at Adam. Maybe if I caught him right before he fell asleep, or right before we were supposed to go punch things.

"Mr. Eaton…." Rylan repeats, and he looks like he's trying not to laugh. "Very…polite. I'll start calling you that, too."

Adam's father shakes his head and throws Rylan one hell of a look.

"Eva, don't worry. He wants his space and I can understand that. And you don't have to call me Mr. Eaton. Four is fine."

"Are you sure?" I look up at him, trying to picture calling him anything other than Mr. Eaton.

"Yes, I've known you since you were born. Eric has somehow managed to raise an oddly polite child, but it's making me feel old as shit." He grins, and I have to laugh.

None of them were old by any means, but I understood.

"Okay, Four." I laugh again when I say it, because it sounds weirder than ever. But I figure I'll go with it, and I might see if Adam would go talk to his dad. "Do you want me to remind him about the dinner? I suppose I should find something to wear."

Everyone turns to look at Adam's father, waiting for his response. He finally nods, and he reaches for a fork on the table.

"You know what, yes. You tell him. See if you can get him to agree to come," Four announces, and everyone raises their beers at him. They're all smirking, and they clink the bottles together loudly.

I know what they're all thinking, and I have a feeling they already know the answer. If Adam didn't want to see his mom and dad, there was no way he'd want to attend a fancy, formal dinner with them or any of the other leaders.

But maybe he would with me, and if he said yes, they would have all the answers they'd ever wanted.

* * *

"No."

"Please."

I stare up at Adam, his expression stormy and tortured at the idea of putting on a suit and eating dinner with people he didn't care about, and he stares right back at me.

"Just for an hour," I bargain, and I slide just a little closer to him and his petulant grimace. "Forty-five minutes."

He blinks, but his lips turn up the slightest.

"Eva…that's still forty-five minutes that I have to sit there and pretend I enjoy listening to everyone gossip about the other factions."

I slide closer, and his hand finds my hair, pulling the very bottom up to examine it.

I had returned from dessert with my father and friends to find everyone oddly quiet. Most had already gone to bed, and only a few were up, either talking amongst their friends or heading to take showers. The whole room had an odd feeling to it, and I figured everyone was stressed or so thrilled about the rankings that they'd worked themselves into exhaustion.

Fortunately, we had tomorrow off.

A lone day to recover, then right back at it with throwing sharp objects until our fingers bled.

"I'm sure there'll be cake," I remind him, and he shakes his head.

"There's cake every year."

He's unimpressed. He might have been impressed with my bravery for walking right over to him. Upon walking into the gloom and doom of everyone else, I noticed Pink was already asleep, and Kat's bunk looked like she was, too. Rachel was nowhere to be found, but Adam was awake, lying on his bed with an air of casual disdain as he scrolled through his phone. He didn't seem to care if anyone saw that he had it, and I couldn't even begin to imagine what he was looking at, but he looked up when I walked over to him, and he scooted over so I could sit down.

My plan was simple.

I would tell him I saw my dad, drop a few hints about the simulations, and then subtly work in seeing his father and the dinner. In my head, it was foolproof. He couldn't say no to going along to something as easy as a dinner, especially not if I was asking him.

Oh, but he could.

And he did.

"Eva, do you even want to go? Every year it's the same thing. We sit there, our parents have a few drinks, your mom and dad laugh and have a great time and mine look like they'd rather die than be forced to listen to Rylan talk about the newest magic trick he's learned."

"Well…the last one was pretty cool. I never did figure out how he made that coin disappear," I shrug, and his fingers twist the ends of my hair. He struggles not to laugh, both at my words and the memory. To his credit, Rylan was usually the most entertaining part of the evening. One year, he knocked over all the candles, causing Adam's parent's table to catch fire. "My grandpa might be there. Maybe we can hang out with him. Or he'll sneak us out after the cake."

Adam merely grunts in response, and it's clear his interest in going to this dinner is zero.

"Last year, Karl's kids both threw up. Right next to me," he mutters, and it's my turn to force myself not to laugh.

The dinners weren't always the smoothest events in the world, and sometimes, things got out of control. Last year, Karl's kids had both thrown up, which made Jason gag hard enough that Meghan practically dragged him out of the room before _he_ could throw up. Adam was completely grossed out, but the only people who noticed his glare of disgust were his parents and me.

"Okay, but…" I try to think of something to entice him, but I've got nothing. I didn't even know what he liked anymore, other than lounging around here, pulling on my hair and very slyly nudging himself closer to me.

"We could just go eat somewhere else…like…in the kitchens. It's the same food. If you're really wanting to go eat dinner away from everyone else."

Adam's leg touches mine. I should have changed out of the sundress, but I'd wanted to talk to him before I lost all confidence that I could convince him to go. I'd sat beside him for a minute, then laid down only to mirror his posture and trick him into thinking this dinner would be amazing.

"What about…um…Jack? You love Jack," I blurt out, and Adam full on laughs.

"Every year he calls me Alexander. He doesn't even know that's not my name," Adam drops his stare down to me, and then my dress. "Aren't you cold?"

"Yeah," I answer, discouragement creeping up as I realize I will be attending this Leadership Dinner alone. I knew he didn't want to go because neither of us were leaders, neither of us wanted to be, and we would both be subject to the comments of whoever thought we should hear them. "I should go change. I just wanted to ask you about going. I saw your dad tonight. He was with mine and we were talking about it."

He drops his hands from me completely. "Is that why you're over here?"

The change in him is immediate. Seconds ago, his body had been primed toward mine, and he'd busied himself by looking at me while not looking at me. I could feel the same warmth from the night before, and I knew I could have fallen asleep beside him and he'd be completely fine with it.

All of that is gone.

He tenses up, and his stare is heavily accusatory.

"Eva?"

"No, I just wanted to see if you'd go with me. I don't want to go alone, but I have to go. I guess…if you don't want to go, then I'll just…sit by Karl's kids and hope they don't barf this time."

Adam stares, and his answer is nothing more than a single, halfhearted shrug.

I can tell this is the end of our discussion. I swallow heavily, then sit up, and I slide off the bed. "Okay, well, goodnight."

I nearly hit my head on the top bunk as I try to hurry away from him. I hate feeling embarrassed, and there was nothing worse than the fact that I'd just asked him to go to this dinner, even just for a short amount of time, and he'd completely shut me down. I chew on my lip while I mull this over, trying not to take it personally.

He didn't want to hang out with his parents and that was fine.

Hopefully Karl's kids wouldn't get sick this year, or maybe Rylan will catch the whole building on fire.

I decide whatever happens, at least I'll get to see my grandpa.

* * *

I open my eyes to cold darkness and even colder hands, shoving me out of the way.

"Thirty minutes."

I blink, not at all sure what time or day it was, only knowing that someone was moving my blankets out of the way, and practically pushing me off the bed. In my sleep deprived state, I think maybe it's Vinny. Maybe today is the day he has arrived to kill me. I should open my eyes or at least try to get away, but I don't. My brain slowly connects the dots that it's Adam, and he's trying not to wake anyone else up.

"Thirty minutes. I'll go for thirty minutes. We sit somewhere nowhere near either of our parents and you have to promise me we won't get stuck talking to Cara or that weird guy from Abnegation who refused to eat any of the food."

Adam's counter bargain is low and warm, mostly because he's made himself comfortable behind me. He pulls the covers back up, then pulls me back against him.

It's far different from my night with my head on his chest.

He's cold, like he's been outside, and he uses his arm over me to pull me closer. My feet hit his shins, and he wastes no time warming himself up against me.

"Eva?"

His voice is rich and tired, and I realize he must have been thinking this over. He hadn't said much when I left, and I'd assumed he'd gone to bed angry that I thought he'd want to go. I'd come to the conclusion that I would just leave him alone. It was starting to feel too confusing to try and figure out what he was feeling, so I'd just focus on something else.

Myself.

The initiation.

Zander, making sure I stayed alive.

Vinny, making sure I was dead.

Adam, currently bending his head down to touch mine, and moving his fingers to find my own.

I hold my breath until his slide between mine, and I know he has every intention of staying right here.

"Forty minutes," I whisper, and I can feel him smile against my hair.

"Deal."

He doesn't let go.

He stays there, until his breathing grows slow and even, and mine follows right along with his.


	11. Chapter 11

Major thanks to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter! 💙

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! You guys are awesome!

Sorry this one is late, but hopefully it's a good start to your week!

* * *

"Today, initiate."

I glare at the blonde-haired one, and he glares right back at me. He points at the knives he's not supposed to touch, then widens his eyes at me.

"Eva! You have to do it! You have to listen to me!" His voice grows louder, filling the training room long enough that everyone turns to look, but most people grin.

He's certainly dressed the part. His uniform is the exact type my father wore, and his boots are just as shiny. His hair is cut an awful lot like my father's, and even his posture is pretty intimidating.

For a four year old.

Karl's kids had been down here for an hour now, and they were a very welcome and much needed distraction from our day. Our morning had been pretty interesting, especially when you considered I'd woken up to Adam still asleep in my bed, and the face of one furious Kat.

I'd never leapt out of bed so fast. Her eyes had slid over me right to Adam, then back in narrowed displeasure. She was scarier looking than my father, and I tried to prepare myself for the onslaught of rage over Adam choosing to fall asleep while holding onto me. In retrospect, the act was pretty sweet. He'd agreed to come to the dinner, even though the time he'd given me wasn't even long enough for us to be served dinner, then he'd pulled me against his chest and fallen asleep.

It spoke volumes about what had been going on: it told me Adam Eaton was cold and tired and he also knew it was easier to fall asleep next to someone.

I thought of this while Kat dragged me into the hallway and unleashed her wave of discontent over my sleeping arrangements.

"I thought you didn't like him, Eva. You said you hadn't talked to him."

She practically hissed the words at me, full of hurt and anger and I panicked. I couldn't even figure out how I really felt about him, which was a lie I was continuing to tell myself. I knew I liked him. I always had, even when I didn't. I knew that he might have liked me, ages ago when it wasn't a running joke, but he might not like me so much now. Or maybe he did. Maybe he wanted to hold my hand or do more than just sleep beside me, but we had not only our parents waiting to see what happened, but a room full of friends and sort of friends watching our every move. Dissecting it. Analyzing it. Waiting to see who would act first.

It was far more invasive than I liked, and definitely far more invasive than Adam liked. For years, we'd had the privacy others dreamt of. While Adam's parents might have been in his business, they rarely let anyone know much about their lives. My father liked to flaunt our family just to prove how great he was doing, but it was always done in a way that what the faction saw only skimmed the surface. They'd never really know him, but he liked to dangle the thought that they could right in their faces.

Still, even with a close-knit family, my best friends, and the knowledge that my secrets wouldn't get very far, I had never told a soul about this weird lingering feeling between Adam and me. I had effectively played it off liked I hadn't liked him.

Sometimes I hadn't.

Sometimes he pissed me off, and I knew I'd be better off with someone who wasn't mockingly smirking at me from across the mess hall because he was too embarrassed to acknowledge his own feelings.

Sometimes, we'd look up at the same time, and there it was. A connection neither of us could ignore, no matter how angsty either of us were feeling.

"I…Kat, do you like him? Is that why you're mad? I didn't do anything on purpose, I swear. He showed up in my bed after we talked about the Leadership Dinner. We both are supposed to go to it, and I just wanted to see if he was really going. He just fell asleep and so did I." My defense was quick and immediate, and I knew far too well that this would get out of hand if I didn't stop it now. She'd stomp away, and I'd be stuck in the middle of wanting to crawl back into bed just for a few more seconds of warm, sleepy bliss and her staying mad until I died because we'd never really fought before.

And she looks mad.

Extra mad.

"No, I don't like him. I hate his new haircut and I told you, he spends all his time like this." Kat stopped to make a purposely mean wide eyed expression that was more horrifying than anything. "He's always looking at you. I'm…I'm just mad you didn't tell me that you guys were…I guess whatever it is you're doing. You don't tell me anything anymore. In fact, it's like…you don't even want to be friends. Like you'd rather be with him."

To my surprise, I found myself a little emotional over this. I'm not sure where that came from, but I found myself blinking away blurry tears that I wasn't willing to admit I was capable of. Kat noticed, of course, and she kept going before I could say anything.

"You can tell me these things, you know. Sometimes you're worse than you say Adam is. You just…I just want you to tell me what's going on. A year ago, I would have been the first to know what was happening. Now, I barely see you."

"I know. I'm sorry, Kat. I feel like…you're always gone, too. I don't even know where you were the other night. Or who you were with. You don't even practice by us. You're just…somewhere else."

She took a step back.

Both of us stood there, guilty of not being that great of a friend, until Kat nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry."

And that was it.

She lunged for me, hugging me so tightly that I was thrown off balance, and our fight was over.

"I'll tell you about the guy later. I'm just…I'm worried you won't like him," Kat whispered, holding on tighter, until Aja stumbled past us looking half asleep. "It's a complicated situation. Really complicated. I think once I tell you, you might not speak to me ever again over it."

"Okay, well I don't think that will happen. I promised. I don't care who you're…uh, hanging out with." I couldn't even begin to figure out who she was talking about, but the most logical explanation was a transfer. Maybe Vinny? Maybe that's why she didn't want me to know.

I didn't care, though. I'd already proved Vinny couldn't kill me, and I didn't think he'd try anything else. Kat smiled in relief, then broke away with a sigh. The two of us returned to get dressed for class, and I noticed Adam was gone. He wasn't even in the dormitory, nor were his friends.

He was here now, a few feet away, staring down at Karl's other son as he told him he was going to fail.

"No, throw it like this." The little boy demonstrates throwing an invisible knife and he turns around in triumph to look up at Adam. "See! It's easy!"

"Yeah, throwing air is easy," Adam retorts, inching away from the kid as though he might throw up all over him. "You know what, why don't you go help Eva? She looks like she needs some help."

We lock eyes just as he says that, and he has the nerve to smirk at me. He's awfully arrogant for someone who crawled into my bed and fell asleep twenty seconds later.

"Aw, thanks Adam, but unlike you, I already hit the target," I smile widely, shrugging my shoulders in mock sympathy. "Ethan, you can stay there. Keep an eye on him. He clearly needs your help."

"Okay!" Ethan calls back, and everyone around me snickers

Throwing knives was a part of initiation that I could take or leave. Both my father and Zander agreed that while the skill could be useful, it was incredibly outdated. Our soldiers were armed with guns, and it would be much faster to shoot someone than throw a knife and hope they stayed still.

Zander was still required to show us this particular lesson for a few reasons. He'd explained that even after they decided to cut back how much of it was taught, it still showed discipline and dedication to master the skill. Rather than multiple days of practice, we were given a few hours. We'd revisit it at the end of the week and the better score would be used.

I was doing just fine.

I easily hit the target without much effort, but most of the class hadn't spent their childhood learning to do this. Zander rolled his eyes when he watched me, and I saw him score me with a grin.

"Nice. Eva you can…uh just watch if you want. I don't need to see any more. One hundred points for you."

"Lucky," Gunner mutters, and he throws the knife with a vengeance. It hits the board with a thud, then clatters to the ground when it doesn't stick.

"You missed!" Ethan helpfully calls out, and his brother laughs.

"Yeah, you missed! That's zero points for you," Evan reassures Gunner of his failure, and Gunner's face turns red.

Especially when a second later, Pink hits the target.

My father had taught her as well. Her parents were cool with it, mostly because it meant they knew it would come in handy during initiation.

"You boys want some help? Maybe Ethan and Evan can give you some extra lessons," Pink laughs, and she winks at the twins. They're watching her with impressed stares, and she salutes them when she picks up another knife.

I had to admit, they were cute.

Karl had brought them down here with a look of reluctance, and he quickly explained they were only here because Charlotte was sick. They weren't supposed to be down in the training room, nor were they doing anything other than distracting everyone. The transfers were in here, too. But they were at the far end of the room, keeping their distance. They paid no attention to Karl's kids.

But most of the Dauntless born were smart enough to try to get on the good side of the twins, thinking it would help them somehow. Aja had carried one on his shoulders, and he only set him down when we were instructed to line up. Adam didn't like either of them, but Gunner did. Until they pointed out how poorly he was doing.

The girls all really liked them.

Rachel had spent most of the morning staring at both of them, gushing over how cute they were in their uniforms and how adorable their haircuts were.

They were cute.

But they were also total hellions.

Karl and Charlotte were raising them as if they'd both be handed Dauntless someday, which meant they demanded a ton of respect at the age of four, and they acted as though they were already in charge. They knew they had big shoes to fill, so they had been acting the part since they could walk.

My father fully supported this.

"Eva, where's your daddy?"

I look down to find Evan right next to me, and he reaches his arms up. He liked to pretend he was big, but he also liked to be held, mostly so he had a higher vantage point. He keeps his arms there until I pick him up, and the two of us turn as Adam attempts to throw the knife at the target. Adam knows we're watching, and luckily for him, he hits the target dead on.

"Good job!" Evan claps, and he waves wildly for Zander. "Z! Z! He hit it. Two points for him!"

"Eva gets a hundred points and I get two?" Adam turns, and he looks slightly terrified that Evan really is in charge of the scoring. Adam hadn't been around them as much as I had, and I have to say I enjoy his panicked expression.

"Yes, I clearly default to Karl's offspring to score the initiates," Zander laughs as he walks by, and he winks at Evan. "Maybe we should give him three points."

"No! Two!" Evan shakes his head, and then turns to me, and puts both his tiny hands on my face. "Eva, where's Eric? I want to see Eric!"

"I don't know. Maybe in his office?" I shrug, and Adam stops beside me. He looks down at Evan like he's never seen him before, and he scrunches up his face. "What? He's not going to throw up on you. Are you, Evan?"

"Not today!" Evan grins, and he holds his arms out to Adam, insisting Adam take him.

Adam stands there for a few seconds, then he shakes his head and steps back, throwing me a funny look. "I should get back to practicing so I have more than two points."

I grin over Evan, and Evan furiously shakes his head.

"NO! NO MORE POINTS!"

"Eva! Oh thank God! You have him. Okay, I need your help. Can you take them up to see your dad?" I turn, wincing from Evan's shrieking to see Karl sprinting at me. He shakes his head at Evan, telling him no, but not in a way that'll make him be quiet. "Eric said they can stay with him for a few hours. He said he'll take them to the trucks or something. Charlotte just…isn't feeling great."

I look up at my poor, second godfather, and he doesn't look so great, either. His hair is messed up, his jacket is unbuttoned, and he's got Ethan under his arm, doing his best to keep him from squirming away. He looks happy, just mildly stressed out, and not at all able to control both his kids and his class.

"Is she okay?" I reach Ethan, and he willingly comes to me. "I haven't seen her in a while."

"Yeah, fine. Just sort of…nauseous and…mad at me." Karl exhales heavily, and he stares at his children with one intimidating father-like stare. "Ethan, Evan, be good for Eva. Don't run away from her. Otherwise, you're both grounded. You won't go ziplining again until you're twelve."

"You let them go ziplining?" Adam side eyes Karl, and his head tilts in a way that tells me his father most certainly didn't let him go ziplining at the age of four. "How?"

"Oh yeah, they love it. They go together. It's totally safe," Karl grins, knowing it was totally _not_ safe. "Eva, thank you. Everyone should be at lunch when you're back. Just head there."

"Got it," I grin, glad for the break. "Come on guys. Let's go find your most favorite godfather."

Karl grins proudly, and the irony of this isn't lost on me.

He'd wasted no time making my father the official godfather of his children. I heard Rylan had lost his mind over this, until someone wisely pointed out he couldn't be everyone's godfather. Everyone knew he'd try to prove them wrong, so he was the unofficial godfather, and he liked to remind people of this whenever he could.

He had to be exhausted. Right along with Karl.

"I'll see you in a bit. Bye Karl. Bye Adam."

Karl waves me off, and I manage to walk a few steps holding both of the boys. Eventually, they're too heavy for me to carry, so I set them down and reach for their hands. They come along happily and they only stop to stick their tongues out at Adam.

He's not impressed, but he smiles the barest hint of a smile, even though he doesn't want to.

* * *

"Come here."

My father sits behind his desk, reaching for Ethan and Evan with practiced ease. They both sit on his lap, looking like smaller versions of him, and they immediately begin grabbing things on his desk. His pens, his laptop, papers, his stapler. He only stops when one gets ahold of his phone, and he takes it from Evan, holding it high enough that he can't reach it.

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" I watch him, trying not to laugh at the sight before me.

It was pretty entertaining. My father was intimidating to most, and he was rarely rattled by anything. So seeing him with two small children is funny, because they seem to be overpowering him even at a third of his size.

"I'll be fine. Your mother is on her way here now. We're going to take them for a ride in the trucks. I guess Charlotte's been throwing up for a few days and Karl is trying to help her out. He thought they'd be fine watching the initiates, but he said they're mostly just interrupting everyone."

"They were," I laugh, watching Ethan eat a bite of my father's donut. He then hands it to Evan, and the two of them are quickly covered in powdered sugar. "They gave Adam two points for hitting the target while throwing knives."

"Two whole points, huh," my father glances down at them, and he smirks. "Smart boys."

"More donuts!" Evan demands, quickly forgetting about scoring Adam. "Eric, more donuts!"

"I don't have any more. Jason only brought me one and you just ate it." My father looks at me over the boys, and raises his eyebrows. "How was knife throwing? You do okay?"

"Fine. Zander gave me a hundred percent," I smile back, and I'm tempted to sit down in the visitor's chair. But I know if I do, I'll want to hang out here, and I'll wind up missing lunch. "How's…work? Are you guys good? You and Mom?"

My father stares at me, only moving when Ethan writes on his hand with a pen. "Are you okay, Eva?"

I nod without any hesitation. He knew I was bullshitting him, because he rarely told me about his work unless I overheard him ranting to my mother, and I rarely asked him. "I'm good. I just…it's sort of complicated. It's a lot more stressful than I thought it would be. I miss being home a lot and I think that's dumb. Like I should be happy to be with my friends and instead …it's just weird. Everything is different."

Well that was a whole lot of word vomit. There was no way on Earth I could tell him that the root of this stress was trying to figure out Adam, then balancing that with my friends, and trying to keep myself sane and drink enough water.

Luckily for me, my father understands.

He smiles tightly, then takes the pen from Ethan and gives him his phone. Ethan's eyes light up, and he immediately begins pushing all kinds of buttons.

"Don't stress over it. Just get through it. Your friends will be your friends when it's over. I promise. The initiation is stressful for a reason. But once it's done, you don't have to do it again," he pauses, and I hear the tiny voice of Rylan asking hello over and over.

"Hello initiate!" Ethan announces, and Rylan demands to know who is calling him.

"How's Adam? Is he…" my father searches for a word, and I bet he's got quite a few questions he'd like to ask me. "Is he still doing good? I know you said he was doing fairly well, but that was early on."

"I think so. I mean, he didn't know how to throw the knives at first. That was sort of surprising," I smile, because my father had been adamant that I learn how to throw them, and I now wonder if he knew Adam hadn't learned. "Didn't…Four show him?"

My father smiles.

It's a very petty smile, and it grows wider when Rylan tells Ethan he will most certainly not report for duty in a trash can.

"No. He wanted him to have a blank slate when he went through initiation. He thought it was cheating to have you learn some of the stuff before," he announces smugly, and I know he's proud that I knew a few things about initiation. "I told him he was stupid. Dauntless born are a different breed. Most of them are prepared to be here. I thought it gave Adam a disadvantage, but he didn't."

"I mean, he hit it once. And he got two points. So there's that," I laugh.

"I WILL NOT BRING YOU ANY DONUTS!" Rylan yells, and even my father cracks a smile as he takes the phone from Ethan.

"Rylan, shut up and meet me at the trucks. We're going for a ride with Everly, Ethan, and Evan. They don't need any more donuts."

"I'm gonna go down to lunch. You sure you can handle them?" I watch him fight to get both of them to stand up, and he shakes his head.

"I can handle you and your mother. Two four year olds are less work." He nudges them forward, and they listen. They push each other as they head for the door, and they slip past me as he follows. "Enjoy your lunch, Eva."

"I will."

I watch him leave, reaching down to the hands of the two boys, without any hesitation. He misses it, but they both turn to look up at him, grinning from ear to ear.

* * *

"EVA!"

I don't make it very far before I run smack into Jason, and he apologizes by yelling my name and looking around in confusion. I'd made it out into the hallway, and I was almost to the stairwell when we collided.

"What are you doing here? Did you quit the class? Where is everyone else?" He surveys the area quickly, and his concern is pretty valid. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm fine. I was just leaving my dad's office. I had to bring Ethan and Evan up here. Karl brought them to training since Charlotte is sick, but they were in the way. My dad said he's taking them for a ride in the trucks. I left the class, and Zander said to meet them at lunch. That's where I'm heading now."

"Oh yeah, I heard she's not feeling too great this time around. Okay well, cool. Fun. I'm sure your father will have a blast. Maybe more fun than Ethan and Evan will have." Jason looks to the side of me, and I can tell he wants to ask me something else. "Are you uh, are you…"

I wait patiently.

Jason looks pretty formal today, and I get the feeling he was still leading whatever mission he'd been working on that night on the roof. His hair is neatly combed, his jacket is sharp and dark, and his phone keeps buzzing while we stand there.

"Am I….?"

"Going to the Leadership Dinner? Did you RSVP? They need a count. I don't know where it is this year, but I'm hoping it's not Abnegation." Jason grimaces.

I grimace, too.

Abnegation wasn't my favorite place in the world. While it might be nice to see Adam's grandmother, the faction itself was pretty boring. It was quiet and dull, and I always felt like every time I spoke it was too loud. I'd only gone a handful of times with my father, and he tried to make our visits quick.

Not to mention the food was awful.

"I haven't RSVP'd yet, but I will. I am going. Actually, I asked Adam if he was going and he said he would. Sort of."

Jason's face brightens. It's subtle; a flash of a brighter smile and pleased look that slides over his face before he shrugs it off casually. "Good. You both should go. I know it's not…your idea of fun, but it's nice to see everyone. It's important, I guess. Maybe it'll be somewhere cool this year." Jason pauses, and he looks thoughtful. "I'm glad Adam decided to go."

I nod, but I stare at him for a second, and something nags at me.

I wasn't sure how he knew Adam was deciding if he wanted to go. Maybe Jason was still thinking of the night I'd sat with him, my father, and Rylan and we'd talked then, or maybe he was personally invested in making sure Dauntless had a great turn out for this dinner. We often showed up with the most guests, and perhaps he was determined to keep our numbers up.

"Me too. I really should get to lunch. I'll see you around, Jason." I smile a goodbye, and he nods as I slip past him.

I think about this while I descend the stairs, wondering why Jason would even care if Adam or I went. I decide it doesn't really matter why Jason asked. Adam and I will both be there, and there's a chance it'll actually be a fun night.

Hopefully.

* * *

Pink hands me the envelope.

Her eyes are wide with mischief when she hands me the heavy paper, and she waits patiently while I take it from her.

"Aren't you going to open it? I want to know what it is." She widens her eyes at me, knowing full well what it is.

Every year, I got the same one, and she was usually there when I got it.

They were delivered by whatever faction was hosting the Leadership Dinner. They chose a method of delivery and invitation style according to their faction, and that was usually how I knew where I would be spending my evening. Jack's invitations had come delivered by his staff; they were oddly formal, annoyingly loud, and they made a big deal about coming inside Dauntless. Erudite's were heavy and rich, the paper barely fitting in the envelope, all written in scrolling, gold lettering that was hard to read. Amity's were always printed on this brown, recycled paper that smelled like it had been drenched in essential oils. My father usually refused to touch these, fearing they were coated in peace serum. Abnegation's were scrawled on plain paper, often delivered by Andrew Prior, looking weary and none too thrilled to have come inside.

"You already know what it is," I grin, and I open up the envelope with a smile.

It smelled like my grandma's house, and sure enough, it's a pretty invitation asking for my presence in the Amity faction.

"Adam got one, too," Pink slides closer, and she nudges me with her elbow. "Gunner and I found out that you two get out of training for the next day if you go. Zander was telling us. He got his while you were walking Ethan and Evan upstairs. Actually, I think he said everyone gets a day off since Karl is going, too."

"I bet Zander was thrilled," I turn the paper over, touching the black embossing with my fingers. I'd learned that the invitations and delivery were a recent addition. In the past, emails or phone calls went out, and a rough headcount was given. It led to either not enough or too much seating, and someone had figured out this was better. "I wonder who he'll bring."

"I think someone said he has a girlfriend. I was going to ask you, actually." Pink looks at me, wrinkling her nose. "He said he was meeting someone the other night when we were leaving. Plus, he looks like he hasn't slept in days."

"That's because he doesn't need to sleep. He lives off caffeine and our pained expressions," I set the invitation down, and I scan the mess hall for Zander. He isn't in here, but everyone else is. "I don't know who he'd bring. Last year, he brought some girl but I don't think it went very well. We never saw her again and my mom didn't seem to like her very much."

"It didn't go well at all, actually." Adam sits down next to me, too close to be casual, and yet too far to make it look like he'd come over to throw himself at me. "No one liked Zander's date. I had to hear about it the entire drive home. He brought this girl he thought really liked him, but turns out, she was utterly obsessed with Karl. She was convinced he'd leave his wife for her and she tried to make this happen several times during the dinner. How did you forget this?"

"Um, I have no idea. When did this happen? Where was I?" I ask, trying to figure out how I missed all this. I usually wound up sitting somewhere by Zander. He was often surrounded by friends who just happened to be female, and I never saw the same one twice. To his credit, he seemed to attract them easily. They liked that he was charismatic, if not a tiny bit over enthusiastic. But Zander had a lot of great qualities that everyone liked. He was brave, but not arrogant. Strong but not afraid to sit down and actually talk. Funny, in this very genuine kind of way. My father liked to point out that he got himself into trouble sometimes, because Zander usually wound up with more dates than anyone.

Yet, oddly enough, he was still not dating anyone that I knew of.

"You were sitting with Jack's assistant or whatever. The guy with the giant head," Adam reminds me, elbowing me none too subtly. When I look up at him, he looks like he's trying not to laugh. "He was like, determined to ask for your hand in marriage before the night was over."

"He was not," I scowl, because I know exactly who he's talking about. "But I do know he was at least ten years older than me and he missed the fact that I wasn't listening."

"That wasn't going to stop him," Adam snickers, and I have the feeling he'd spent a lot of time watching me politely try to get away without appearing rude. "He was like _Eva, you're so funny_ and you weren't even talking to anyone."

Pink bursts out laughing, and I glare at her, too.

"You know what, you both suck. I was stuck there and not a single person even tried to distract him." I defend myself immediately, and I lean away from Adam. "You could have helped me, you know. Instead, you let me sit there, all alone. Are you going to keep him away this time? Maybe he'll want to talk to you all night."

The man in question was most certainly not interested in me in any way, other than schmoozing Eric's daughter for a few minutes. He was hoping for a donation of our soldiers' time, and I suppose I was as close to the leaders as he could get.

"Adam!" I elbow him back, and this time, he smiles.

It's a pleased smile, and even Pink can't miss it.

"Cute," she announces, and she reaches for the invitation. "So listen, I have an idea, and I want you to hear me out. You both got one of these, right?"

"Yeah, we both have to go. No excuses," Adam parrots what I'm sure his father told him, and he waves Gunner and Aja over. "Why? You want my invitation?"

"Actually," Pink leans in closer, and she gestures for us to lean in. "Gunner and I were talking. We all know everyone expects you two to show up together. And, for understandable reasons, you two don't enjoy that, even if you both want to go together."

She pauses, just so she can watch Adam narrow his eyes at her.

"So, how about this? Adam, you take Gunner as your date and Eva takes me. The four of us get to party it up in…" she pauses to glance down at the invitation, then grins. "Amity. It's a great excuse for you not to be stuck sitting with your parents, and who knows, we might even have some fun."

"You…want me to take Gunner as my date to the dinner?" Adam raises an eyebrow at her, then looks at me. "And Eva takes you?"

"Yes, She and Gunner can't go together because…look, they just can't. So you and Gunner go. Obviously, once we're there and seated away from the Coulter and Eaton banquet table, the four of us can hang out. We'll have a nice dinner. Maybe a drink or two. Maybe sneak off into the Amity fields and enjoy a night out of Dauntless. Not to mention the fact that Zander will be there, and if we sit by him, we might gain some insider points that no one else can."

Adam considers this, every so often looking from Pink to me.

"What about Aja and Rachel?" I ask only because they're walking this way, and Rachel's arm is wound through Aja's. "And Kat? She'll feel awful if she can't go. In fact, she'll be pissed. She was already mad at me for…"

I stop, not really wanting to explain that situation.

"I wouldn't worry about her. She's really emotional these days. Besides, I already asked her. She gave me some bullshit excuse about extra training she's doing and she can't miss anything. There's another guy going, one of the patrol leaders. He knows my brother. He said he'd take her, but she doesn't want to go."

"It sounds like you have this all figured out," Adam looks at me out of the corner of his eye, and he drops his hand down next to mine under the guise of stretching his spine straight. "You really want to go, don't you? Enough to risk being bored out of your skull while the leaders talk about how great they're all doing?"

"Yes!" Pink exclaims, and Adam's fingers touch mine. "Did you forget how lax they are in Amity? There's like, free drinks that never stop coming. Foods we don't have here. All kinds of desserts. Enough peace serum to take down every faction. I'm sure no one will pay attention to us once they start eating, and then, we're free! Even just for a few hours. You have to admit that's appealing, Eaton."

She says the last part pointedly, and I know it hits a nerve, because Adam takes my fingers in his, and for a second, he twists his so they curl into mine.

"And what about Eva? I told her I'd go with her. You know, to keep her safe from sleepy Joe." Adam shrugs again, and he slides a fraction of an inch closer. His arm touches mine, staying there as Pink watches intently.

"You do owe me for last time," I can't help but smile. "But if you go, this will be longer than forty minutes. If you're sticking to the forty minutes you promised, then we'd basically get there and have to turn around."

I wait for Adam to let go of me, but he doesn't. He just sort of stays there, mulling this over. I was learning that while he could sometimes blurt things out to me, he wasn't entirely comfortable talking about how he felt, but neither was I. Even the times I thought I could, I wasn't as graceful with the words as I should have been.

"And you want to go, Eva? You're sure?" Adam's stare finds mine, and Pink waits patiently for my answer. She stares at us, not even breaking her own gaze when everyone sits down at our table, silently pleading for me to say yes.

"I do."

Adam smiles, and it takes Gunner gracelessly slamming into his side for him to let go of me.

* * *

"Do you want pink, pink-pink, blackish pink, or black?"

I look up from my spot on the floor, to the face of the man who was about to die of excitement over me being down here.

"The black will go with the bruise on your face, but uh, hopefully that's gone by the time you leave for Amity."

He keeps talking, and his arms overflow with all sorts of fabrics in varying shades of pink and black.

"Eva?" Christian, the man who probably should have been my real godfather, peers down at me from behind oversized glasses. I'm sitting on the floor with Rachel and Pink, and a few feet behind us, are Adam, Gunner, and Aja. We'd all come down here on my father's orders. I got the phone call right as our day of training ended, and right before I could drag myself to the shower.

I answered quickly, happy to hear from him. Before I could even ask how his day with the twins was, he said my name slowly, and it sounded like he was both trying not to laugh, and trying to decide if we needed to be having some sort of talk.

"I got your RSVP from Zander. You're bringing…Pink. What happened to Adam? I thought you two always went to these things together? I thought you were asking him to go with you."

My father's question was spoken in a very fatherly manner, and I could hear my mother telling him to knock it off. I knew he didn't like bringing up that he thought I'd go with Adam, but he clearly knew I was up to something. I just laughed, and Adam elbowed me when I told my father I was most definitely bringing Pink as my date, and Adam was most definitely bringing Gunner.

"Alright. I don't know…you know what, I'll just send it in. This will be…very…nice. Your mother claims Amity is lovely this time of year but she's not actually aware of the temperature outside."

I hear my mother yell back something, and he snorts into my ear.

The last part made me laugh. Amity wasn't his favorite place by a long shot, nor was my mother's lack of weather awareness. But my mother liked going to Amity to see her mother, and she especially loved when they had the opportunity to get dressed up.

Which was why he was calling. My dad reminded me I needed to go see Christian, and he told me I had an hour to be down there. That was a complete surprise. I had been planning on going to bed right after my shower, but my father went on and on about how Christian might need to do alterations, and he wanted me there tonight. He also told me to bring Adam along, since Adam wasn't answering anyone's phone calls.

"Um, I thought the bruises looked better…?" I look at Pink and Rachel, and they both examine my jaw.

"Kind of." Rachel frowns, and Christian ignores us.

"Who's your date? Is it Adam?" Christian looks past us to the boys, shoving the glasses up higher on his face. "Adam, stand up. I need to see how tall you are. Major height differences aren't usually aesthetically pleasing, you know. It works for Eric and Everly but you aren't them. Are you two together? Have you even noticed how tall you are and how short Eva is? How does that work?"

Adam looks at me, and he has one sly, entertained grin on his face. It's a nice change from the annoyed look he normally had when someone brought us up, and I know why. He stares back at Christian casually, then shrugs.

"I'm actually going with Gunner, but uh, maybe we should all match. If Eva and Pink pick pink, then I guess we're all wearing pink."

"I'm in." Gunner answers immediately, so pleased to have been brought along down here. "I'll wear whatever you want me to. Especially if Adam and I match. Actually, we most definitely should match. Aja, you and Rachel want to match, too?"

"Definitely. I like my pants fitted, though. I've been working out a lot lately, so let's emphasize that." Aja grins cheekily, and Rachel winks at him.

"I don't love pink, the color…not you," she reassures Pink. "But I'm good with whatever. I've heard you make all the important dresses here. I never thought I'd get to come here, or work with you."

Christian's stare changes. I expect it to drop to complete frustration mixed with some mild flattery, but instead, his face lights up with pure, unadulterated joy.

"Wait here. I have a vision. I have to write this down."

And then he's gone.

Christian leaves us sitting in the fitting room area of his store, and we hear him mumbling something, to someone we can't see, and I have a feeling we're going to be a blinding sight of pink and pinker.

"Is he always like that? So enthused over making formal wear?" Gunner asks, and since I'm the only one who really knows him, I nod. "Eva, tell me his secrets. His hair is so shiny. So are his pants. How? Why?" Gunner muses, and he looks at me. "What is he making us? Aren't you afraid?"

"No," I shake my head, reclining back and balancing on my palms. "It'll be good. He's amazing. He just really loves his job and he wants everyone to look nice. He makes me stuff all the time. He can come across as a little enthusiastic, but this is his favorite time of year. Otherwise, he's just making uniforms and the clothes in the shops."

"Hmmm," Gunner looks Adam up and down. "Hey, how's our height difference? It is aesthetically pleasing enough?"

Adam shrugs. "Who knows? We should ask him when he comes back."

He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, and I find myself smiling as Pink nudges me and Rachel laughs.

Things were definitely not the same as they had been. Even in this short amount of time, I could feel the way things had shifted. I wanted to believe it was for the better. I might have found some separation with Kat, having chosen her own path of making it here and dating someone she didn't want us to know about, but there were good changes, too. Rachel was a surprisingly decent person. I couldn't fault her for liking Aja or wanting to have a pretty dress made for this dinner.

I found that I liked Gunner, and I liked whatever he had going on with Pink. They got along really well, and seemed to be the perfect motivation for each other.

Then, there was Adam.

I could have given up on him, writing him off as someone who wasn't worth it. Odds were, I'd finish my initiation here and go on to live a pretty decent life in Dauntless. My father would more than likely make sure I had somewhere nice to live, and he wouldn't let me take a job I hated. There was bound to be at least one person in Dauntless I'd connect with, maybe someone I'd never thought about before, and maybe I'd finally get to have coffee with someone other than my uncles, my godfathers, or my parents.

I was still sort of hoping it would be Adam.

Every time I thought I was done, that I should leave my past in the past, after all –eight year olds didn't really make lifelong commitments to each other, especially when they weren't even speaking, I found myself right back next to Adam. It had started before we chose to come here, and I suddenly had this strange, sort of optimistic feeling that he and I might actually wind up close once again.

All it took was some freedom.

Even though we had people watching and waiting to see what happened, most of the time, it was us deciding things now. Adam had relaxed without the pressure from his parents, and I knew they'd be happy to know he had turned out to be a decent person.

"I think we should wear black," Rachel slides closer to me, and her head drops down. "Eva, I have to talk to you. After this, can we stop and get something to drink? Please. Pink, too."

"Sure," I agree, and her smile is relieved.

She leans away from me, and she moves to whisper the same thing to Pink.

"I'm back." Christian announces. He returns as a burst of raw energy, and he practically leaps over us and waves over a slew of people I've never seen before. "Everyone stand up. We're going to start some fittings tonight. We don't have a lot of time, so we'll have to make do with today. But don't worry, I'm quick. You'll have everything before the dinner."

The room is suddenly filled with people who work for him, all holding different shades of blacks and pinks. They don't exactly sparkle in the lighting, but they are rich and luxurious looking, and far nicer than what we currently have on.

Twenty minutes later, Christian approves all our choices, and I have to admit, this entire event feels far different than the previous years' dinners.

I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, I'll enjoy this one.


	12. Chapter 12

Thank you so so so much to **Bamberlee** for editing these chapters!

I'm posting two of them, a night early or actually on Friday for those not in the US, because tomorrow is stupid busy for me.

**Thank you so much to everyone who has been reviewing! I appreciate you SO much!**

Next week I will be leaving for California for my wedding anniversary! without my children! so I will either update early, or when I return. I will do my best to get the chapters up before I leave.

Have a happy Friday and a fantastic weekend!

* * *

The images flash by one by one.

They move quickly, not really giving me time to focus on them for very long, other than to realize what they are, how they make me feel, and how much I dislike them.

Time spans hours as I work my way through them, or at least, what I think is working through them. Most of them hurt in a way I'm not expecting. My insides turn over and over as I watch my parents both die right in front of me. That came after watching my father tell me that I wasn't who he'd wanted to raise, and the disappointment I'd caused him was unimaginable. I'd watched my mother frown, her pretty face scrunching up as she told me she didn't quite get why no one liked me, hitting every insecurity I had as she told me she'd never been alone. She couldn't fathom why I was still alone, years having passed, but maybe it was because I'd never be as pretty as her.

It only got more fun.

I stepped through a room full of bugs, all crawling and squirming and undulating beneath my bare feet. I felt every single antennae and leg, and I nearly threw up when one crawled over my foot. The door to leave this room was locked, and no one came no matter how hard I screamed. My mom. My dad. My uncles. Not even Quinten.

That one must have been a bonus scenario, two fears for the price of one.

I went on to watch my friends fall victim to faceless villains outside, and I watched them come back in bloody pieces. At some point, my mind tried to reason with me. There was a single, split second of clarity there, reminding me that these were my fears, I was well aware of them, and I just had to keep going until the end.

But my mind wasn't done torturing me just yet, and there were more.

Me, all alone in Dauntless.

Standing beneath an empty ray of dull lighting, feeling absolutely nothing except rotten emptiness over cracked earth.

Jason and Rylan, shaking their heads when I failed to procure a single valuable position in Dauntless, proving my completely superficial worthlessness not just to the faction, but to them.

When I found it all to be too much, my body aching to get out of this unconscious realm of surrealism, the serum kept going. It dredged up some age-old fears I thought I'd conquered. Sleeping alone in a dark bedroom. Breaking a bone enough that it stabbed through my skin, and someone slicing the back of my ankle open, much like a scene in a movie I'd accidentally turned on.

And last, before I simply could not handle another second of these unfair and horrific images, was Adam.

Tall and handsome, smirking down at me.

For a second, things felt okay. A breath of much needed air sucked into my starved lungs when we locked eyes. I smiled up, walking slowly toward him. His hair was just like it is now, cut shorter to prepare him for initiation, but not so short that he looked militant. He loomed over me, his features darkening and his lips turning up in delight, as he looked over me.

At someone else.

"Eva, get out of the way."

The words echoed, and I could feel them. Like a punch right to the stomach or a scratch deep into my skin, I physically recoiled.

"You're just…always here. I couldn't get away from you if I tried."

A second slice, just a little deeper.

They were his words.

Spoken honestly, on a rooftop, a year ago. He'd looked at me, and sure, he'd mumbled a quick apology right after, but he'd still said them.

Just like right now.

"Eva, move."

"Eva."

"Eva."

Adam.

"EVA."

* * *

My eyes open, and they are wet.

I don't even have enough time to hide the fact that I'm crying, nor the fact that I was pretty sure I'd just failed this simulation. Maybe not failed. I'd done it, sure. I'd be scored on that. But I'd also felt it go on forever, longer than Aja's before me, and longer than Pink's. She had left looking wobbly and terrified, rushing past everyone without saying a word.

Even Zander had been quiet, much like he is now. His face is pinched in concentration, and he pauses for only a second.

"Eva, it's fine. You're good. You got through them all. You were just as fast as some of the others. Faster. If it makes you feel better, Gunner threw up. Said he couldn't breathe. They took him to the nurse a few minutes ago."

Zander talks lowly, quickly typing on the keyboard while glancing up at me to make sure I'm okay. He is oddly fast at it, and I wonder if he is typing down every scenario I'd been through. He looks up again, and in that moment, it's obvious he's not that much older than me.

His jacket is a little too big, his hair is a little too messy, and he looks like the Zander who liked to tell my grandpa that I wasn't listening to him.

"Eva, say something. Do you want me to call someone? Your dad? Your mom? Karl?"

"No."

I shake my head, wiping my eyes with my hand and sitting up straighter. I feel sticky and sweaty, and I should have pulled my hair up before coming in here. My own shirt is too large, one my mother had packed because she liked oversized things, and my leggings are too hot.

"I'm fine," I manage to croak out, and my voice is rough.

"Just take a deep breath. It'll go away in a minute." Zander types again, and this time, his fingers pause. "Were they really bad?"

"Yeah, worse than I was expecting." I push on my eyes with my palms, willing the images to go away.

"It happens. You aren't any less brave because of what your fears are. Some of the bravest people here have dozens of fears. Things they'd never think they'd be afraid of." Zander stops what he's doing, and he brushes his hair out of his eyes just like he did when it got in his way back in Amity. "I know you think you have a lot to live up to. But from what I've heard, no one is too focused on these. It just helps make you aware. Some of your fears are easy to conquer and some are impossible."

"What were you afraid of?" I ask, and Zander stops in front of me. He reaches to wipe off my neck, then frowns at the bloodied cotton.

"Lots of things. Things I didn't think were real fears until I went through it. Being trapped, both literally and figuratively. Something happening to my dad." He stops to look at me, and I know if anything happened to Harrison, he'd be devastated. "Not being good enough to come here. People thinking I wasn't good enough to come here. Shit like that."

"You _are_ good enough to be here, Zander. Everyone says you were born to be here." I swallow down the urge to just start crying, because I don't like it. "I just…sometimes I don't know. I don't know what I want to do."

"That's pretty normal. I think it's an awful lot to ask someone who just turned eighteen to pick their whole future. Let alone, face their deepest, darkest fears." Zander smiles, and it's genuine understanding. "Go take a nap or something. You're done for the day here. I'm sending everyone home once they're done."

"Okay, thanks." I slide down from the chair, and I'm relieved when my feet hit the ground. "Thanks for…um, talking to me."

"Anytime," Zander shrugs, but there's a flash of guilt. "Eva, you know what, wait. I'm sorry. I haven't really been um, I haven't been looking out for you like I should. I should be making sure you're okay. Not just because your dad said so, either. And I'm really sorry I was mean to you when you were born. You probably don't remember that but damn you were annoying."

I laugh, despite my shaky breathing and embarrassing tears.

"Thanks Zander, but I'm fine. I promise. I've long forgiven you for hating me when you were four." I reassure him, and I wait until he nods. He's not entirely convinced, but he hugs me as I leave, and I head out into a dark hallway.

There's no one there, and in the second it takes my eyes to adjust, I think maybe it's part of the simulation.

* * *

"How was yours?"

The roar of the shower isn't enough to drown out Kat. She wasn't who I was expecting to find in the hallway, but I'd found her waiting there, like she was hoping to see me. She'd walked along with me back to the dormitory and she'd headed right to the showers. I half expected her to tell me goodbye, flash me the same smile she'd been giving me these past few weeks and slip right back into her realm of secrecy.

Instead, she'd yanked her shirt right over her head and turned on the shower to the left of mine.

"Mine was shitty," she continues, her words bubbled beneath the pouring water. For once, the showers are deserted. I was too tired to walk all the way to the trainers' showers, so I figured this would be fine. "I had no clue I was afraid of so many things. I panicked during every single one and I felt like a total failure. I guess everyone was pretty shaken up, though. When I left, Zander said the norm these days is at least ten and it takes a day to get over them."

I ponder this while I pull the conditioner through the ends of my hair. "Yeah, I didn't expect a lot of mine to be what they were."

"Me either," she calls back, and I can tell she's rinsing out her hair.

"Kat, do you want to go to the Leadership Dinner? Pink and Gunner are coming. Rachel and Aja, too. I thought maybe…maybe you'd want to come. It's in Amity. I can just ask my dad if you can come and he'll…"

"No thanks," Kat interrupts, and there's no hesitation on her part. "Honestly, I don't want to go to Amity. I've been a million times. From what I heard, we get someone to oversee the class for a few hours, and the next day off. I plan on sleeping and maybe sneaking home to see my mom. She called me a few days ago. Said we could 'accidentally' meet at the shops and she'd take me to dinner."

I smile at this, because while it wasn't forbidden that any of us see our family, the rules were designed to keep us in the same mental state as the transfers. It wasn't fair that we had some familiar comforts here, but no one was really paying attention enough to notice if we did. I'd broken this rule numerous times so far, but it was unavoidable, really.

Our families were only a few floors away, and no one could stop us from bumping into them.

"Are you sure?" I rinse my hair quickly, and I turn the shower off to silence. "Kat?"

"Yeah, I swear on my life, Eva. I don't need to watch your dad glare at everyone or Rylan talk about marrying Adam's grandmother or how Christina won't let him build a life sized robot. Trust me." Kat steps out of the shower wrapped in a black towel, and her red hair is more vibrant than ever. "I mean, I love watching Adam hate his life in those moments, but I'm good with staying here."

"Okay. Hey, you never told me about the guy," I towel dry my hair while we stand there, and her hesitation is noticeable. "Is he…someone bad?"

"No… not bad," Kat pauses, and she wraps her hair up while a few initiates walk past us. They are pale and silent, and their only greeting is a nod in our direction. "He's…older than us. Not a lot, just a little. Really nice. Um, he's been helping me so I don't fail. I told him how worried I was, and he just sort of offered to work with me."

"Is he someone I know?" I try to think of who would be helping her, but I come up with nothing. She'd dismissed most of the boys we knew, and she hadn't even blinked when Adam had walked by shirtless. "I thought it was someone from the other class."

"Sort of," Kat answers distractedly, and her gaze flies over to the doorway. "Speaking of the dinner, it seems like Adam is an entirely different person these days." She pauses, smiling when I look at her. "He's still hot. I'll give him that. Still a little too angsty but I guess you can deal with that."

"He's way happier," I answer, and Adam has some unfortunate timing. I catch sight of him walking in with Gunner, and we can hear him reassuring Gunner he's not the first person to throw up here. "I think he just wanted to get away from his parents. I know they expected a lot from him, more than any other parents here."

"I heard they were pushing him to go right into leadership," Kat shrugs. "Or at least hoping. But I guess he's not sure what he wants to do. I haven't even thought about it."

"Me either," I squeeze the rest of the water from my hair, and I figure I might as well use this rare free time wisely. "I'm gonna lie down. You?"

Kat pauses, thinking this over.

"Actually, I think I'm going to head upstairs. You want to go get a drink? A real drink, not your dad ordering you a soda or that fizzy water that Rachel claims tastes like the idea of fruit. Please. One drink. Then we'll come back here. I think we've earned it."

I stare at her, and without any hesitation, I nod my head yes.

* * *

An hour later, I nod my head yes again.

Adam is too close to me, and Gunner is too close to Pink, but no one is paying attention to this. Everyone is laughing; Rachel and Aja having joined us not too long ago, and even Kat is laughing, sitting by Nikolai as he peruses the menu.

"Your dad really ran a toddler fight club?" Rachel looks impressed, and she takes a sip of her pink drink. It's bright, really bright, and she sips it like it tastes just like it looks. "Did you and Adam fight each other?"

"Daily." Adam answers, casually slinging his arm behind me. "Why do you think I avoided her for all these years? She won more of the fights because she had Eric for a father. My dad wasn't teaching me how to hold people in a headlock at the age of two."

His words make me choke on my drink, also bright and sweet, and mostly disgusting. Kat had ordered a round of them, and I had a feeling this was the only drink she'd ever tried on the menu.

"Yeah, but…you did kick that kid in the head. And my dad said his parents refused to bring him back," I remind him, and Adam's face lights up.

"He sucked! He stole this stupid stuffed cat I had and wouldn't give it back. So when it was time to fight, I couldn't hold back. Don't you remember, Eva?"

Adam glances down right as I look up, and in that moment, he looks like an entirely different person. It's an Adam I've rarely seen, only in small moments when no one else was watching. Adam's whole face is lit up; his smile is wide and bright, and his eyes aren't dark and unhappy, but genuinely content in sharing these tiny little memories of our past. His arm shifts closer to me, and in turn, I slide closer to him.

It wasn't as close as the rooftop, but it was in front of the group of friends we suddenly shared, and I was completely fine with this.

"You had a stuffed cat? Shut the fuck up, man," Gunner throws his napkin at Adam, and he shakes his head. "The almighty Adam Eaton was mad someone stole his kitty. Didn't you also get mad when people sat by Eva? I swear I heard that from my mom."

"I'm sure," Adam shrugs, suddenly and oddly not at all bothered by this. "I mean, if someone could steal my cat then I guess Eva was the next thing closest in size. I couldn't risk someone claiming her. Who else was I going to sleep by?"

"Hey!" I protest, but I have to laugh because he's not entirely joking. We had spent the first years of our lives together, and from what I'd heard, Adam was pretty insistent we were always together. "I got that cat back for you. And the fight club got shut down once Rylan started betting on the kids. He always picked the bigger ones to fight against the smaller ones so he would win."

"There was one who always cried. Always. Even if he wasn't fighting," Adam muses, and he turns to the end of the table to where Nikolai is sitting. "Oh shit, it was you, wasn't it? You were the one who got the fight club shut down."

I look at Nikolai, and Adam's fingers touch the back of my shoulder.

"How can you even remember that?" Nikolai rolls his eyes. "I can barely remember going to that wretched daycare. I've blocked everything out except Charlotte telling me I couldn't make fun of other kids' stuffed animals." he pauses to look at Adam pointedly. "I told my mother out of spite, and I'm pretty sure she went down there and once she saw what was going on, she made them stop." He pauses again and winks at Adam. "But thank you for that trip down memory lane. It seems you and Eva are perfectly content continuing nap time."

"We are," Adam snickers, and his friends laugh right along with him. Gunner looks at me for just a second, and there's something along the lines of approval flashing behind his friendly grin.

This was certainly a change of pace from the boys who'd mocked Adam relentlessly over having a girl as his closest friend.

"You're shitting me. Your dad really let you guys fight? I was never even allowed in the daycare. My dad made my mom stay home with me, or maybe she wanted to. Who knows?" Rachel leans in, and her hair is braided around her head like a crown. "Eva, what's your dad like at home? I know you don't like to talk about him, but it's just us. He's not even here."

I suck in a deep breath, not just because she had a weird obsession with talking about my dad, but because she was wrong.

He was here.

He was exactly six tables away, glaring at Adam.

He was also glaring at Adam's father, who was sitting across from him. Every so often, I could feel his glare slide to me, less glarey, but still not thrilled, and I would guess it was aimed at my close proximity to Adam.

All in all, it looked like my father was having a very unpleasant time.

Glares aside, I must have had just a few sips too many of the sugary drink, because I lean further into Adam, and he sort of inches me closer. All I can think about is the fact that he smells good. Really good, and he's not looking past me, telling me to get out of his way.

It feels good enough that I smile at Rachel, and shrug.

"He's just…like a normal parent. Except he doesn't like people interrupting him once he's home. He likes to sit on the couch with my mom. They watch TV or read, and he's utterly obsessed with making sure she eats dinner. Like, he's always like…Everly, eat your spaghetti or you'll fall asleep because I'm not making you something at one in the morning when you wake up hungry."

Everyone snickers, even me.

That was a common discussion in our apartment, and was a pretty frequent one at that.

"Except he always does. He would do anything for her. Sometimes, I'd wake up and they would still be up, half asleep on the couch, just talking or he'd be watching the soldiers on patrol to make sure they were okay and she stayed up just to be with him. Oh, and he also organizes his closet every few days. He likes to make sure all his jackets are in the right order."

"Goals, honestly." Gunner raises his glass, and toasts my father, who's still glaring. "To Eric Coulter, the most feared man in Dauntless who also really loves his wife and closet organization."

Everyone shoves their glasses toward him to clink them together, and my father's eye twitches. I know he can't hear what everyone is saying, and I bet it's killing him.

A second later, Four turns around.

No one notices but me.

Not even Adam.

Four looks at me, then quickly turns back to my father.

"Rachel what about you? What's your dad like?" Kat accepts another drink from the waitress, and then slides a plate of fries at me. "Is he as cool as Eva's dad?"

"Fuck no," the queen of the French language swears, prettily. She shakes her head back and forth and takes a single onion ring off Aja's plate to look at. "My father is fine, but not cool. He takes his job super seriously and he and my mom go out every Friday night. Same dinner, same dessert, same bar. Same boring life. They like to watch the fights in the pit, and the highlight of their relationship was when he got his nose broken in a fight down there, and my mom fixed it for him. She was nurse here for a while. Actually, Eva, I think your mom broke up that fight. Anyway, they like to remind me how I have to make sure to work out and they never let me have any cake. Even now. They both gave me a lecture on what to eat while I'm here. That list shockingly does not include cake. Or this drink."

"Don't listen to them. I'll order you some cake," Aja answers, and he frantically tries to wave Lucy back to our table. "Everyone should have cake."

"Why would they tell you that?" Gunner asks, and he looks confused. "Everyone here loves our cake. It's like, if you don't, you're a traitor."

Rachel looks at him out of the corner of her eye, and I know why they'd tell her she couldn't have any cake.

"Because it's…sugary. They never have anything sugary. My father and mother work out constantly. I guess…I just feel like I should too."

"You shouldn't listen to them in regard to either of those things," Pink interrupts, and she and Gunner both look concerned. "Gunner and I had cake for breakfast the other day. It made the training class bearable."

"You had cake for breakfast then went to work out? How did you not throw up?" I ask and wrinkle my nose at Pink. "Really?"

"Well, I mean, I threw up today," Gunner offers, and he looks sort of proud. "Pink walked with me to the nurse. They said I'd live."

"Yeah, because no one dies from throwing up," Pink teases, but it's clear she's joking. "Anyway, anyone else think finding out your worst fears totally sucked?"

She changes the subject away from Rachel's dietary restrictions, and everyone immediately agrees with her. The only one who doesn't is Nikolai. He's watching Adam with a funny look on his face, and when I look at him, he smiles.

"How about you? How many did you have?" I ask, watching him shift in his seat.

"Too many," he rolls his eyes, and he accepts a non-pink drink from Lucy. "I didn't throw up, but nothing like finding out you fear some pretty common shit to really shake your world."

"I agree," Kat answers, but she's looking down at her phone. It lights up twice, and she swipes away to unlock it. Everyone is quiet while she reads it, and I know they're all wondering how she got it because I'm wondering too. I thought only Adam and I had forbidden phones. I quickly forget this though as we all watch her frown. "I was afraid of losing my parents. Who isn't? I was expecting to be scared of a serial killer or a knife wielding psycho."

"Aren't those the same thing?" Adam toys with the ends of my hair until Kat looks up. For a second, she just stares, then her expression turns haughty.

"Funny, Eaton. What were you afraid of? Your dad being disappointed in you? Or maybe disowning you for not listening to him?"

Everyone falls silent. Adam reacts immediately, but not in a way Kat would notice. I feel him tense up, and his fingers tighten.

I'd forgotten Kat had this side to her. It came out when she was stressed, or something wasn't going her way. She was aware of it; she was always apologetic afterward, and she never really meant it.

But sometimes, it wasn't as easy to shake off whatever she said as she thought it was.

"I think everyone is afraid of that. I mean, unless you just really don't care. Who wants someone disappointed in them?" I try to change the subject before the entire good mood is ruined. The past hour had felt good, really good. Everyone was happy to be doing something other than sitting downstairs on our beds, and it felt like we had found a group that had our back. I didn't know if I was the only one feeling this way, but I didn't want Kat to ruin that.

Plus, it was pretty mean to go after Adam like that. Everyone knew who his parents were, and it was no secret they had high expectations of him.

Or that he was barely speaking to them.

"It's fine, Eva. I actually didn't have that many fears. Mine was pretty quick," Adam announces, and everyone's stare whips to him.

"Seriously?" Aja asks. "I had like, twenty. That shit went on forever."

"Yeah, I mean, they weren't easy but it was over pretty fast." Adam shrugs, and I can feel him relaxing. "Did you feel sick after?"

"Yeah, super sick." Aja mutters, and I nod.

"Me too." I sympathize, and Adam looks down at me. "But it's over now and tomorrow we have an easy day. Right? Does anyone know?"

"Totally," Pink grins. "Zander said we just have the combat terms to go over, physical exams, and then it's visiting day for anyone whose family shows up. He said they shortened it to just the afternoon. Something about the faction getting trashed when all the visitors showed up."

"Lovely," Nikolai mutters, and he swallows down the last of his drink. "Hey, you guys want to order an early dinner while we're here? I'll put it on my mother's card. She keeps pestering me to talk to her so maybe this will shut her up."

"Yes!"

Almost everyone answers him, and Adam drops his head down to mine. He waits until everyone has busied themselves with the menus, then he nudges me.

"Were yours really that bad?" His words are low enough that only I can hear, and I nod.

"They were really bad. Not at all what I was expecting."

"Mine too."

I feel him swallow heavily, but he doesn't say anything else about the simulation. He and I both order hamburgers when Lucy comes back, and so does my father. He and Four keep ordering things every time she stops by their table, and I know he's just trying to stay there as the faction's worst spy. I've never seen him order dessert other than special occasions, but he does today. He eats it slowly, stalling for time, and he winces with every bite.

By the time he finishes, he looks a little queasy.

"Thank you for dinner, Nikolai." I smile when he slides over the same dark card that I have, and I know his mother will get a notification almost immediately that her card has been used. But no one will say anything to him. Those cards, the heavy black ones, were given to the leaders to use, and I'd spent plenty of time swiping my dad's. "That was nice of you."

"My pleasure," he answers, and he leans back in his seat. "Let's hope tomorrow goes smoothly. For everyone."

His eyes flash to Adam and me, and I know exactly what he's thinking.

Visiting Day might have been shortened to Visiting Afternoon, but it would mean Adam's mother and father would be down there waiting for him, right along with my parents.

The real question was, would Adam show up to see them.

* * *

Of course, my father finds me before I leave.

I bump into him on my way back from the bathroom, and he practically knocks over a member trying to sneak past him down the narrow hallway leading to the back of the bar.

"EVA!"

He yells my name loud enough that I'll stop, and I do. I wait patiently until he's right in front of me, and I smile up at his panicked expression.

"Hi Dad. How was your dinner? Did you enjoy it? Especially all that…. ice cream?"

He cringes.

"I know you saw me. I was having dinner with Four," my father announces a little too defensively. Like he and Four regularly ate dinner together, just the two of them, and how coincidental that they'd picked tonight. "Before you ask, I wasn't down here to run into you nor was I looking for you to ask how the simulation went."

I shake my head at him and his perfectly slicked back hair, and I figure he's been stressed out enough this evening. "It was…worse than I was expecting, but probably on par with everyone else's."

"And Adam's?" My father's eyes slide over my head, in search of Adam. "Where is he?"

"He's probably with everyone else, waiting for me. I think his was okay. He said he didn't have very many fears and it was over quick."

"Really?" My father sounds disappointed. "That's suspicious. Well, I'll tell your mother you're good. She was worried you'd be okay after today. She went with Tris to Abnegation. They invited me but I said no thanks. I don't need to spend my night eating plain toast."

"Yeah, gross. Let her know I'm alright. I think next time will be easier. Not so…jarring," I answer.

"It will," my dad reassures me quickly, and he hugs me tightly. After a few seconds, he pulls away slightly but keeps me right in front of him. "You look different, Eva. What's different? Did you do something? Are you taller?"

He scans my face with narrowed eyes, not caring if I'd decided to pierce my face or shave my hair off, only that I'm alright.

"I brushed my hair. Maybe that's it?" I offer, and I know that's not it. It's probably that I look as happy as I feel. I finally have the feeling that choosing Dauntless was the right decision, and once I'm done with initiation, everything will fall into place.

It also didn't hurt that I spent my entire dinner with Adam, right against his side.

"Maybe. It does look better than when I saw you last."

His answer makes me laugh, and I hug him even tighter.

"Thanks, Dad. Will I see you tomorrow?"

"Do you even have to ask?" My father doesn't let go of me, and I dare wonder what he would have done had I chosen another faction. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

He finally lets go when his phone rings, and only because it's my mother.

"Bye Dad."

I leave him there, in the tiny wood paneled hallway of Clyde's, informing my mother he'll be home when she gets back. I hear her answer him, and he very politely declines the offer of whatever Adam's grandmother has baked him.

* * *

"Was I in yours?"

Adam lies perfectly still, and my head is on his chest. He's touching my hair, slowly sliding his fingers over my temples, and his breathing is slow and deep.

This wasn't what I had envisioned when I said I was going to bed. We had all walked back together for most of the walk, then we split up. Aja and Rachel went outside to look at the stars or something else grossly romantic. Kat took a sharp right, yelling goodbye and that she'd see us later. Nikolai announced he had to go to the shops, and eventually, it was just Adam and I, walking with Pink and Gunner. They stopped at Gunner's bed, and Adam kept walking with me.

We'd brushed our teeth while Gunner and Pink joined us, and they said goodnight when we finished. The lights in the room were already dimmed to an oddly dark level, and I smirked at the thought of Zander trying to encourage everyone to get to bed at a decent time.

Even though I'd sat with Adam all night, I was still surprised when he chose to lay down, taking up most of the bed. The only option was to lie right next to him, and it took all of three seconds of blurred fidgeting to realize I'd have to lie against him.

So I did.

It was dark and cold down here, and he was a very welcome addition to this scenario. He wasted no time making sure I was against his chest, and in this darkness, it was much easier to talk and pretend we were the only ones in here.

We almost were.

I had no clue where Pink and Gunner went.

"In the simulation?" I open my eyes to his dark shirt, and he nods his head.

"I mean, actually that's…I shouldn't have assumed I was."

He sounds apologetic, like I might laugh at him for thinking he was important enough to show up, but he wasn't wrong. He had been in the simulation, and he'd been one of the worst parts.

"No, you were in it. At the very end. It stopped right after that one," I confess, and I feel oddly light after sharing this. I hadn't told anyone about what I saw, and I didn't really plan on it. My fears felt very personal for a few reasons. "You were just there, looking past me. I thought you were looking at me, but…I was wrong."

I leave out the part where he was smiling, and he'd looked incredibly happy.

"That was it? I was just standing there?" Adam shifts; his fingers dip further into my hair, like he could keep me from moving away from him in case I wanted to bolt.

I stay silent for a minute because it's hard to repeat the words.

"You said you couldn't get away from me if you tried."

His fingers still.

I feel him take a long, deep breath, and we both know they were the sort of words his parents would have been livid over him saying. He hadn't meant them at the time, at least I don't think he had. It was the thought behind them, that everything was twisted back to him and me, and it wasn't his own decision.

But this was different.

Him staying here like this was his own choice, and he could leave if he wanted to.

"I uh, I didn't mean…I didn't even mean them when I said them. Eva, I said I was sorry." Adam's words are a rush, and a mixture of every emotion possible, but mostly regret. When I tilt my head up, his eyes are tightly shut. "Everyone just talked about you like they knew you and I so well, and I didn't want that. I didn't want some random guard asking me where you were, or some asshole from the control room telling my dad we walked by each other in the hallway. It was just…too much. It was every day of my life."

His confession, much like my own, is not what he saw himself saying tonight.

"What about now?" I sit up and away from him, and his fingers fall away in surprise. He looks up at me; a few pieces of his hair having fallen down onto his forehead, and his eyes are a darker blue than I remember. "You keep… getting close and you're here now, and you seem okay with it. You seem okay with us being close sometimes."

He nods wordlessly, but his hands reach to pull me back down.

It's harder to say these things while looking at each other.

"Adam…you didn't speak to me for years. Why? What's so different now?"

This time, he sits up too, but only so he can pull me back to where I was before.

"I was so sick of everyone. Everyone saying shit, just…stupid jokes about our names, my mother looking like she was so disappointed when I didn't talk to you…" Adam exhales heavily, and my head is back against his chest. But now his arms are around me, and I can feel every single beat of his heart. "I just wanted to be the one to decide how I felt. It wasn't for them to decide, even if they meant it in a good way."

"Oh," I answer in pure and slow surprise, because I still couldn't figure out exactly how he felt. He wasn't exactly telling me, or maybe he was.

Oh shit, he was.

He had been.

I was just really bad at noticing.

"No one cares anymore, though. They all really like you, and not just because you beat up Vinny and Kiley. They've liked you forever and you just ignored everyone. Gunner used to talk about you endlessly. He liked your hair, he liked that you were short because he thought it was funny when you would stomp past us and your hair was a mess. He also thought you were funny. Aja liked that you never wore pants and he said it made you nicer than everyone. You always tried to include everyone around you, even people you didn't really know. Even Nikolai, the most annoying person I've ever met, used to talk about how if he could just get close to you, that he'd tell us everything. He really wanted to know what you were like at home, and he'd always ask if I ever got to see you at night, once everyone was asleep."

"Um, I…"

I don't have any words.

I have a few waves of uncertain, uneasy horror at these thoughts. And some smug satisfaction that everyone would have been disappointed. My pajamas weren't anything to be impressed by. They weren't the pretty nightgowns my mother had, but my father's old shirts and sometimes whatever I threw on because I was too tired to care.

But still, I had no idea anyone thought anything of me.

Ever.

"Not in a creepy way. I don't want you to think that. He just thought you were pretty and he was jealous that I lived next door."

"None of you even spoke to me unless you were trying to look cool," I remind him, and it's very hard to say the words. "You acted like I was terrible and then would…sometimes look at me like you didn't mean it."

"I never meant it. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone," Adam admits, and he sounds like he regrets this. "I was mad that everyone liked you. I knew you wouldn't let anyone get close to you, but it still bothered me. I used to be the only one who knew you. And now I don't, not very much. But I like to think I do. I know that one time you threw noodles at Zander's face in Amity because he said you would never be any taller than the mini horse your grandpa found."

I laugh, something strangled and nervous and totally annoyed because Zander had said that, and I had been furious.

"I know you can get away with literal murder, because your dad is so afraid that something will happen to you. I know everyone thinks you look just like your mom, and they're all waiting to see who you end up with. And they want it to be someone good, someone just like your dad, who will make sure no one kills you."

I nod, wanting to tell him he was right about all of this, but Adam keeps going.

"I know that I gave you that bracelet and everyone gave me such shit for it so I refused to look at you. Gunner made fun of me for a week over that. And now, he's busy trying to figure out if Pink's real name is Pink and should he get her something for the dinner."

"It is her real name," I whisper, and his fingers slide back into my hair, grabbing onto a large section of it. "She has a more normal middle name, but her mother loved the color pink so she named her that. She hated it for years."

"Yeah, well, she could have it worse," Adam's grip tightens, and I know he's talking about us. "I just wanted to be the one who knew you, and it was my own fault that I didn't. I've been thinking about it all day. That I'd show up in your simulation because I hadn't been very nice to you, and I deserved you being afraid of me."

And there it was.

One painful and very low secret, spoken while I lie with my head on his chest.

"I don't want that any more than you want Nikolai knowing what your pajamas look like."

I let out a huff of laughter, because he's right.

"Or that you're wearing my shirt right now, and I have no idea how you got it," Adam moves his other hand to touch the fabric of the shirt I'd thrown on, and he's right again. This shirt is his.

I didn't know how I got it, either.

"I think my mom packed it. I found it in the bag they gave me," I tell him, and I crane my head up to look at him. "I'm gonna bet she asked your mom for it."

"See," Adam scoffs, but it's good natured. Our mothers had spent a lot of time hoping we'd stay together forever, but my mother definitely was the ambitious one when it came to acting on it. "I told you. They're just…dying for it to happen. And if it does, then it'll be because of them. Not because of you and me."

"I know," I lay my head back down, and I decide that maybe, just maybe, tomorrow I will ask her to ease up on trying to push Adam and I together.

Because it was slowly happening on its own, and I didn't want it ruined because of our over eager families.

Mostly just our mothers. I had a feeling my father was going to have a very hard time with whoever I wound up with, no matter who they were.

"Are you going to stay here? In case Vinny comes by? It's been a while so he might," I ask, relieved when Adam nods yes and my thinly veiled attempt to have him stay works. "Okay, good." I shove my leg closer to his, and he turns so he's more on his side.

"Goodnight, Eva."

Adam says the words quietly, and I know he's just as tired as I am.

I suddenly realize something, something I should have figured out the second he pulled me closer to him.

I should tell him to leave. I should thank him for talking, hold onto him for a few more seconds, and send him on his way. While this was what I wanted, knowing that Adam didn't hate me and never had, this wasn't a great idea. Even if he was sorry for acting the way he had, and even if his friends were no longer finding the thought of him and me hilarious, there was a chance someone else might not be so enamored with the situation.

Namely, someone who reported to my father.

I have a feeling if I wanted to keep having Adam sleep next to me, I'd have to find a way to very gently let my father know I'd be okay without his constant vigilance, and I'd survive even if this thing with Adam wound up in total heartbreak.

But I don't tell him to leave. Because while there's little to no privacy down here, in the dimly lit room and on this very bottom bunk bed shoved far in the corner, it feels like there is.

Enough that we both fall asleep against each other, and neither of us bother to pretend this hasn't become one very pleasant routine.


	13. Chapter 13

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Thanks to all of you out there reviewing these chapters!

Have a good weekend!

* * *

Someone once told me all good things must come to an end.

That someone was Rylan, spouting off these words of wisdom because he'd finished the rest of the ice cream I wanted, and he didn't have a better explanation for it otherwise.

I was pretty annoyed that night, way back at the age of twelve or thirteen, when ice cream gate had been the most devastating crisis of my life thus far. Kat and Pink were over, my father was heading out to hunt down someone who kept setting off the alarms at the gate of Dauntless, and my mother was determined to go with him. I'd wandered out to say goodbye to see both of them looking stressed out, and they'd told me they'd be right back, and we were to stay put and finish our dessert.

But my father wasn't good with the idea of leaving us alone while some alarm went off. So he made the astounding decision to have Rylan stop by, rather than head outside.

He did so willingly.

Long enough to eat the ice cream we had been eating, and long enough to skip out before he was consumed by the rage of three young girls who didn't have any more cookie dough dessert to enjoy.

Much like that night, when Rylan's frantic words did not make me feel any better, neither does waking up to realize Adam isn't here.

Because he'd panicked, just like Rylan.

I could feel it, the weight of our conversation slipping into his dreams while he slept, and I knew he'd have some very definite and understandable concerns over what he'd told me. So much that he was gone, and I'd woken up cold and alone, with only the sounds of someone shrieking that once again, Kat had woken them up in the middle of the night.

* * *

"Hey, what's…EVA…what's… Echelon Formation? What does it mean? Which one does it match?"

A guy I don't know drops down into the chair next to me, and he looks nervous. He shoves his paper of combat terms in my general direction and it takes me a moment to figure out he's from Karl's class. I look at his face, sort of angelic and sweet and all too terrified of me, and I point to the list of terms he's supposed to match.

"It's a way to arrange the soldiers. Diagonally." I touch the answer on his page, and he exhales heavily.

"Okay, thanks. No one in our class knows. I guess we were supposed to look them up or something with a worksheet. But we only got this one," he pauses, closing his eyes for a moment. "I'm Kenny. I heard Eric's your dad and I thought you might know what this meant."

"He is my dad," I smile, and I pull my legs up beneath me, trying to get comfortable in the infirmary waiting room chairs. "But I have to admit, I only know the terms because of my grandfather. Did Karl forget to give you the second page?"

"I think so," Kenny nods. "We only got this one."

"Do you want help with the rest?" I stare at him, grateful for the distraction.

The past twenty-four hours had been pretty intense, far more than I was prepared for. I'd faced my worst fears, some expected and some unexpected, and I was tired just thinking about them. I'd eaten dinner with Adam and our group of friends who now seemed to be one group, I'd learned that Nikolai had gotten our fight club shut down years ago, and that my father would eat ice cream when placed in extreme situations. I also learned Adam had been avoiding me because he wanted to see if he liked me on his own, or if the idea had just been put in his head by his mother and father.

It was understandable that I hadn't seen him at all today.

I tried not to let it bother me. I took a shower, Rachel braided my hair to look like hers, and we ate breakfast with Kat, who looked so tired that she might fall asleep while attempting to finish her scrambled eggs. We'd reported to the training room right on time, and to our extreme relief, one equally tired Zander handed us the quiz on combat terms and told us to try and fill out what we knew while we waited in the infirmary for our physicals. He told us he'd go over the rest tomorrow, and I had a feeling he was heading home to take a nap.

Now, Pink was sitting a few seats away from me, her head bent down toward Gunner's, and they were frantically scrawling their answers down in a competition of who knew more. I heard Gunner gleefully tell Pink what a _flanking maneuver_ was, and she cheerfully told him he picked the wrong answer to _shied wall_. She knew these terms because my grandpa had taught them to us when we were little. They didn't really fit into the Amity lifestyle, but we found one of his old books filled with all sorts of battle plans, and he patiently explained them to us.

Sometimes, he would smile, pleased that we wanted to know.

Other times he would frown, and he would go on to say that Amity was lovely year-round, and we were always welcome to come live with him, no questions asked.

"Thanks, that was the last one I was stuck on. Karl did say to look them up, but none of us knew where," Kenny smiles, but it's stressed.

"Oh yeah, there's…I think there's a book or a handout he's supposed to give you," I sit up straighter, right as Adam walks in with Aja. He doesn't look happy to be down here, and he looks even less happy when he sees me. His eyebrows knit inward, and there's a definite slump to his shoulders.

Great.

I finally get to have one night of honest discussion and falling asleep next to someone who seemed to like me, and in the morning, he regrets everything.

Go figure.

"He's just really busy. I think he's having another baby. His wife kept calling him the other day and asking him to come home. Thank you so much for helping me," Kenny stands up, and he flashes a thankful grin at me. "You're cool. Cooler than the others said. Thanks Eva. Good luck with your physical."

"Thanks…you too." I watch him leave, wondering if he knew something I didn't. Not just about how cool I was, either. Maybe this physical was more than just making sure I wouldn't die of exhaustion in the middle of class. Maybe it was another test I had to pass.

"Hey."

I don't get to agonize over the thought very long.

Adam drops into the now empty seat next to me, and he leaves Aja standing there, talking to the receptionist.

"Hi. Did you finish?" I hold up the paper, figuring it was easier to talk to him about our assignment than his deepest, darkest feelings. "I guess Karl forgot to give his class the other paper that goes with this one."

"Yeah, Aja and I already turned ours in before we came down here. I didn't think they were very hard," Adam glances at me, and I know he wants to say something. But what could he say? He'd told me some incredibly personal feelings last night, and now, under the glaring lights of the infirmary, he probably didn't want to revisit them.

"I uh, I went to get coffee this morning. You were still…sleeping and I didn't want to wake you up." Adam announces, and when I look at him, I half expect him to look past me. But he's looking right at me, and he's not at all uncomfortable. "You looked pretty happy. It was probably the shirt you had on."

I stare back at him in total surprise.

Not only was he not running away, averting his stare, or pretending I didn't exist, he was willingly acknowledging that I'd worn his shirt to bed, we'd fallen asleep together, and he'd been considerate enough to not wake me up when he woke up first.

I wonder if I'm still asleep, dreaming all of this.

"PINK!" Someone yells, and I jump at the shrill voice calling her name.

At least I know I'm not asleep.

"It was definitely the shirt. Nothing else," I laugh, and Adam kicks my foot with his.

"Did you sign in already? Want me to sign you in?"

Before I can thank him or ask him if he's been taken over by an alien life form, the nurse calls both my name and Kat's.

"Guess that answers my question. Good luck in there, Eva. I hear they're giving out all kinds of shots today." Adam is pretty smirky, and he clearly knows it. He watches me stand up, and he reaches his hand out right as Kat comes to a stop beside me.

His fingers graze mine, and I notice there's something on his wrist.

It's dark and black, and before I can even wonder how I missed this, Kat grabs me, and drags me toward the intense stare of Arlene. Too bad for me, I am most definitely awake, and she is most definitely the one conducting my physical.

* * *

"Don't we just get a random nurse?"

I sit on the table with my shoes off, while Arlene takes my blood pressure. She rolls her eyes while she reads the numbers on the blood pressure cuff, and I wince as the thing tightens even further.

"You're just as funny as your mother. And normally, yes. Not even your father's emails demanding I relay your visit to him would normally make me come attend to you personally, but we're short staffed today. I have a few nurses out with the flu, and therefore, I'm helping on the floor."

"Great, well it's good to see you, Arlene. I hope you've been doing really well," I smile sweetly, hoping she'll both hurry this appointment up, and not relay any of this to my father. "Also, isn't my visit confidential? What if I have…something my father doesn't need to know about?"

"Like what? Like strep? Have you and Adam been making out while you pretend to sleep at night?" Kat throws this out while she lounges in the waiting chairs in the tiny room. She'd come in here with me, this special privilege granted only because we both knew Arlene, and because they were so over booked there was nowhere else for her to go. The nurse who had called her name was quickly pulled away to help a soldier returning with a leg injury, and the description sounded gory. That took precedence over our physical exams, so Kat was instructed to follow me into this room.

I didn't mind her in here, but I also didn't need her giving Arlene any extra information that I wasn't planning on sharing.

"Katherine, keep it down over there or I'll send you back to the lobby," Arlene retorts, and she scrawls the numbers down on the paper next to her. "Are you feeling okay? Is there anything you're worried about, other than this making its way back to your father?"

I shake my head. "No, but will it?"

"Absolutely not. The information stays here and only here. We've long since redone our charting system. We had a few…breaches of information years ago. But I'd say we've fixed the problem."

"Rylan?" I grin, because I'd heard multiple times that he loved to come down here and go through Arlene's files. My mother used to tell me how he'd kept careful notes on Tris while she was pregnant, and it drove everyone nuts that he was able to somehow procure this information and he used it to torture my father.

Arlene smiles tightly. "Eva, in all honesty, is there anything you're worried about? Are you sleeping okay?"

"She's sleeping great," Kat answers, flipping through a glossy magazine that served as a health guide for those in Dauntless. "Better than any of us."

I know she's kidding, but she's not wrong.

Arlene doesn't find her entertaining at all. "Katherine, I thought I told you…"

"She's right. I am fine. I feel good. I'm not tired, and I have been getting enough sleep." I smile again, and I hope I look innocent enough that Arlene will dismiss me quickly.

"No more head traumas or fighting?" Arlene raises an eyebrow, and she waits patiently for my answer.

"None. We've had a break from fighting, so all good there." I wonder what else she could possibly need to know. She'd already taken blood, measured my height and weight, and checked my reflexes and vision. She'd also asked me a few questions about my diet, seemed pleased that I'd only had one single drink in my entire life, and smiled slightly when I mentioned my father seemed to have upped the amount of time he was spending making sure I was alive.

"Alright…if there's nothing you're worried about, I'll clear you to move on in the initiation. If anything comes up with your bloodwork, I'll notify you. It'll be your choice to tell your father or not. You're also eligible for a few booster shots, as well as beginning a birth control one. It's not required, but if you choose it, just know you'll need it every three months. It's also not effective immediately. So whoever is _helping_ you sleep at night might want to know that, too."

She pauses, and Kat looks over her magazine to look at me. She nods furiously, but I shake my head.

"I'm fine. I think I'll be okay."

Arlene holds my stare. "Are you sure? You know what happens if you don't get it? You increase your chances of getting pregnant."

"I'm aware of how it works," I have to try not to laugh, because I had been warned about this. In fact, I was told to be very selective about what I had injected into my bloodstream. "My mother explained everything to me forever ago. I'm sure I don't need it."

Arlene closes her eyes in a manner that tells me this conversation would be going entirely differently if I'd just agree to it. "Your mother is probably the last person in this faction you should take medical advice from. Ask her how many times she refused the shots here and your father's thoughts on his wife having a baby at the age you are now."

I knew it.

I also knew I didn't really want to be injected with anything, especially not something that would be written down in a permanent file that Rylan would most definitely find a way to access. If he thought he needed to.

"I'm good. I've heard the stories. People love to point out that she was already married by now. But I don't want to get married nor do I want to have a baby by this time next year." I hop down off the table, and I reach for my shoes. "But thank you. If anything changes, I can come back, right?"

"Yes, but Eva…" Arlene starts, but she's cut off by Kat.

"Are you sure you don't want it? What if you and Adam wind up…you know…" Kat pauses, and she shrugs her shoulders. "I got it. I don't want to end up pregnant. Not during training. Not even after training. Well, maybe after training."

I stare at her, her long red hair braided to the side and her dark shirt cut so it fell off one shoulder, and she raises both eyebrows at me. I can't imagine her with a baby at all, let alone one with a guy I'd never even seen.

"Adam is going to want to sleep with you at some point. There's no pretending otherwise. He might seem really sweet and kind because he likes keeping you warm at night, but let's be real. He's biding his time until he can show you just how close he really wants to be."

"KAT!" Arlene and I both exclaim her name at the same time, and Arlene turns to me with one concerned expression.

"Who? Who is this? Your boyfriend? Your father is going to lose his mind. His wife was eighteen when he met her." Arlene moves toward me, and I shake my head no.

"Okay, one—gross, I know all about my mother and father's relationship and I don't want to hear about it ever again. I get it, trust me. He loved her so much that he wanted a family with her and probably would have done anything she asked of him nor did he care if she was on birth control or that she was eighteen. But really, if anything were to happen, with _anyone_," I shoot Kat one death glare that's enough that she has the decency to look sheepish. "it would be my business. Not any of yours. I don't want everyone involved in it. Not anymore. It ends here."

Arlene stares at me through her glasses, and behind her, Kat looks torn.

"I'm really proud of you for saying something, Eva. Everyone is so quick to want to know what's going on. But I'm also a little hurt that you wouldn't tell me if that happened," her words are honest, but ineffective since I've never even met the guy she's been sneaking around with.

"Well…I mean, I would. Maybe. But you didn't tell me you needed to be on birth control or even the _name _of this guy." I watch Kat chew on her lip, and I have a feeling whoever this guy is, she's in way too deep. None of us were especially experienced in any way, but Kat seemed to be going full force with her secret boyfriend. "Is he nice? Does he live here? Is he one of the guards or something? I know Karl has some who are really nice."

Kat looks at me, and I have a feeling she's being very patient while I try to figure this out.

"Yes, Eva, he _is_ really nice but nice wasn't what I was going for. He's hot. Really hot. And he's not…all arrogant or stupid and he's not as tortured as half the ones in our class," she pauses, and shakes her head. "Sorry, not that I think Adam is tortured. I mean, I do, a little. But he's a far different person when he's with you. He actually has a personality now. He's not just...existing here."

"Who are you two talking about?"

Arlene interrupts, and despite her standing in front of me, I'd forgotten she was there. "Adam? Adam…" She stops talking, and I can see her wracking her brain to think of an Adam she knew. "Adam Eaton? Four's son?"

"It's not anything…" I start to say, but they both look at me like I'm speaking gibberish. "Not yet. I mean, we're just…everyone always assumed we'd end up together. So, we've been talking and just…hanging out and…"

"And he's sleeping somewhere near you? Isn't that what Katherine said?" Arlene doesn't miss much, but to my surprise, her next words are far less judgmental than I had planned for her to be. "Okay, well, you and Adam just…do whatever, and if you need anything, or someone to listen, you can come down here. No questions asked. I won't even tell your father you were here today. I already told him to ease up."

"Really?" I let out a heavy exhale, and I feel infinitely better. "I love him a lot but he is…very concerned with everything I'm doing."

"There's no lie there. Your mother is too, she's just better at handling it. I will keep this confidential, all of it, as it should be. But I would also very highly recommend you get the shot, whether or not you plan on doing anything anytime soon. For your sake and your sake alone."

"Okay," I agree, and I have to admit, this appointment has gone in a far different direction than I'd thought it would. "But you have to promise me you won't tell him. I'm not afraid of him knowing, I just don't have enough hours in the day to deal with him coming to terms that I'm not three anymore."

Arlene smiles, and this time, it's completely genuine.

"You and me both."

* * *

A few hours later, I find the exact person I'm hoping to see waiting for me in the pit.

It's impossible to miss her. She's much smaller than everyone else milling around, and her long black hair hangs down in pretty waves that are meant to look effortless.

They do.

Her dress is black and short, and her shoes tie around her ankles in bows. She looks young enough that she could be mistaken for someone in our class, and she already has been. A few parents turn in confusion when they see her, and one father looks down in surprise, turning back to look again until his wife smacks him.

My mother misses all of this.

She's too busy grinning, and she waves as soon as she sees me walking toward her.

"Eva!"

I head right for her, watching a few eyebrows raise as she practically skips past them.

I hadn't seen her as much as I had my father, but I understood why. It seemed like they must have had some sort of discussion about my initiation, and they realized only one could stalk me while the other worked. Since my mother's job often took her out of the faction, that left my father to sit and make sure I stayed alive. He was doing a fantastic job of keeping an eye on me, so much that I was shocked he wasn't down here.

"Oh my gosh, I have missed you so much!"

My mother grabs me before I can hug her, and she holds onto me tightly. All I can see is a blur of black; her hair, her dress, my hair and my dress, and the people swarming around us. Most look out of place as they struggle to find their family members, and almost all of them pause to glance at us.

"Mom, where have you been?"

I blurt this out before I can stop myself, and she smiles in a way that tells me she wasn't thrilled she hadn't seen me since the fight.

"I'm sorry, Eva! I've been working. I was in Abnegation all week. I just came back for today," she pauses, and she lets go enough that she can look at me. The exact same way my dad did in Clyde's. I must pass her visual inspection, because she smiles as she fixes my hair off my face. "But I know you've been okay. Your father's been keeping me updated. He's uh, sort of having a hard time with the past few days."

She grins even wider, and the look on her face tells me I have a variety of scenarios to pick from that my father is not enjoying.

"Which part? The physical exams or that I ate dinner with Adam?"

"Both," my mother rolls her eyes dramatically, and I have a feeling she's been working overtime to reign him in. "He's just…having a hard time knowing that you're not this tiny girl anymore, and he knows the sort of thoughts eighteen-year-old boys have."

I wiggle away from her, and I very maturely cross my arms over my chest. "No. Stop it. You both need to…"

"Eva," my mom laughs, and the tension I was thinking was coming is already gone. "I've told him to knock it off. He's just thinking that I married him when I was your age. I was sleeping in his bed a few weeks after I got here. I don't think he or I are ready to have a son in law. Or a grandchild."

"I'm leaving. You can hang out with Kat." I glare at my mother, but it's halfhearted. "I've nearly died twice. Let me enjoy these moments without my father worrying about every second of my life."

"Unfortunately, my darling child," my mother pauses, waving at someone behind me. "your father is going to worry about you forever. You're his greatest accomplishment. I mean, after getting me to marry him."

"Well, maybe he should take up painting or something because he's everywhere I turn," I remind her, and I stop when Tris stops right next to her. "Hi!"

"I'd love to see Eric paint something. Maybe you should encourage that," Tris laughs, having caught the end of my conversation with my mother. "We've all told him to behave. Both him and Four."

"Where are they?" I glance around, wondering if I'm missing something.

So far, it seemed like everyone from every faction was here. There are dozens of people around us, and I recognize more than a few. Kat and her parents, both joking and laughing and smiling proudly at her. Pink's mother, touching her hair while Pink and Gunner stand there, trying to introduce Gunner's mother. It was clear they didn't know each other, but each one is very cordial, and they look thrilled to be down here.

Across from them is Rachel, looking a little stressed out as both her parents grill Aja, and when we lock eyes, she makes a most definite face of horror at me.

I grin back. Her father looks pleased with Aja, probably because they shared the same gym schedule.

"Wait, is Dad not coming?"

I look at my mother, and she looks at Tris. They silently go back and forth for a moment, and they only stop communicating in an annoying, telepathic manner when Christina shows up in a rush of panic.

"Oh shit! Am I late?! Did I miss her? Where is she?" Christina whirls around, her outfit more formal than she normally wears, and her hair perfectly straightened. She stops when she gets to me, and her eyes widen. "EVA! I thought I missed it. I had to work and I couldn't get a hold of Rylan and he kept saying he'd text me when he was on his way, but he never did, and he didn't answer his phone, either. Everly, have you heard from them?"

"Um," my mother freezes, and she fixes the strap on her dress, retying the bow with practiced ease. "They'll be back in an hour. They had to go out further than they thought. The alert came from the border of Abnegation."

"Oh, well that's shitty timing," Christina looks at me, then shrugs in pure delight. "I guess it'll just be us girls. We can grab dinner. Eva, I swear you look so different. Everly, don't you think she looks different?"

"Maybe," my mother looks smug, and I know what she's thinking. It was just like my father saying I looked different, but it wasn't anything on the outside. "Your father and Four went to check on some security issue. Rylan is with them. So is Karl. They'll be joining us as soon as they can get back."

"Oh, okay," I shrug back at them, totally fine with that. The security issue didn't bother me, for it was never anything crazy, and it wasn't like I never saw any of them. I'd certainly seen a lot of my father these days.

"Are you sure? I could call him," my mother looks apprehensive, and I feel like I'm missing something.

"No, I'm fine. I actually have seen him every day. Since initiation started," I brightly remind them of this, and they immediately start laughing. "We can go eat. I'm starving. I just got a few shots from Arlene so it'll be a great distraction from how gross I feel."

"Every time I got a shot from her, I got sick," my mother grimaces, and Tris nods. "Every time. She was obsessed with this birth control one, but the side effects were awful. I think I quit getting it because it wiped me out for days."

"Yeah, we all heard how great you were with it," I shake my head. "Hopefully this version is better."

"Oh, so you got it?" My mother asks with all the subtly of my father, but before I can tell her I won't be answering any more questions, her face falls. "Actually, Eva….um, where is Adam? Is he…is he coming?"

Without thinking, I look at Tris. I'd decided since I could call Adam's father Four, I could probably call her Tris. It felt far less formal and uptight, but the look on her face tells me it won't matter what I call her.

Because her son is not here.

When I had left, he was lounging on his bed. He gave me a very casual goodbye, and his expression told me not to dare ask why he wasn't walking out with me.

"I think…I think he's sleeping," I lie, but it's not very convincing. "Um, maybe he'll be down here in a bit?"

Tris nods, and my mother reaches for her arm.

"Tris, it's okay. He'll come around. I promise," my mother very gently pulls her forward, and Christina's gaze sharpens.

"Did he purposely not come to piss off Tris and Four? Because I'm not above going down there and getting him. He's definitely not on my good list these days."

Her words slice through the air the same way my father's would have, but I don't have a good answer for her. I couldn't untangle Adam's relationship with his parents any better than he could figure out mine. I had always liked his parents; I found them to be good people, kind, normal, and hopeful to raise a son who would go on to do good things. I was starting to get the impression there were lots of chances for people to follow a darker path here, and all it would take was one offer of hope and manipulation, and you'd be in too deep to get out.

Of course, no one was offering that to me.

But Adam might be a different story.

"I don't think so. I think he's just…wanting to do this on his own." I look at Tris again, and she holds my stare for a minute before nodding.

"You know what, let's just go eat. I want to hear all the good stuff about training. I hear you've had a lot of fun so far." Tris suggests this more to my mother and Christina than me, and she's forced a smile on her face.

"It's been a blast. I've learned that people really like my father and seem to think I'll introduce them. You know what? I'll be right back. I just have to grab something. Can I meet you…at Clyde's? The mess hall?" I take a step back, and I wait until they agree on Clyde's. "Okay, I'll see you there. Give me twenty minutes."

I turn around at the same time they do, and I rush through the groups of people milling around. I recognize a few more as I hurry past them: Vinny's family, looking up in surprise when he steps away from me, and Nikolai's mother, looking annoyed that he's standing there silently. I keep going, turning down the hallway I'd come from, down a flight of stairs, then another.

I stop when I reach the fourth row of beds, and I find Adam and Jason sitting there, both looking up at me in total surprise.

* * *

"No."

"Please. Just…a dinner. A really quick dinner. Fifteen minutes. I'll text my mom your order and it'll be ready when we get there. Please," I plead, and Adam looks like he'd rather jump into the chasm than listen to me. "Twenty minutes and we get dessert. I hear they have pie now. Okay, twenty-five minutes if we get pie."

"Eva, you are really bad at bargaining. That's not how it works," Adam shakes his head, and next to him, Jason sighs.

"Go with her. It's just a dinner. Every other initiate in this faction is going to be there. No one will say a word, I promise." Jason looks up at me, and his uniform is a less formal one than he normally wears. It's still impressive, but I have the feeling he threw it on quickly.

Which meant he wasn't with my father.

"Are you not…you didn't go with my dad?" I stand in front of them, and they both narrow their eyes. "I heard there was a security issue. My mother told me."

"There was. And no, I'm not there. I stayed behind to oversee a few things. We're sort of…running short on staff and it's not a great day to have no leaders here." Jason is very careful with his words, but he's just told me more than anyone. "Where is your mom?"

"Upstairs. With Tris," I look right at Adam, and he half heartedly shrugs his shoulders. It's so minute that if I wasn't staring at him, I'd miss it. "She just wants to see you."

"Eva, it's not that I don't want to see her," Adam exhales heavily, and he looks up with all the petty, sulky rage he's been holding onto since he could. "I just don't want them involved. I don't need to hear how they think I'm doing or have her tell me she's proud of me when she's not."

"I'm pretty sure she's really proud of you. How could she not be? Adam, it's just one dinner. Less than an hour. Please," I step closer, and Jason nudges Adam.

"Eva's right. It'll be over before you know it."

Adam's eyes flash at Jason, but Jason isn't having any of it. Whatever weird little bond they were having isn't enough to convince Adam that his mother might genuinely miss him.

"I'm good thanks."

"Adam, come on man." Jason shakes his head, then stands up. "You might regret it. Maybe not today, and maybe not by the end of your training, but someday. I know you don't like a lot of things about them, but…she showed up for you. Some people don't have anyone. My parents didn't show up. Neither did Rylan's."

Adam and I lock eyes, and it's hard to miss the struggle behind them.

"I told you, I don't want…"

But he stops when I reach for his hands.

"Okay, ten minutes, two drinks, and an appetizer. You like the onion rings, I think. We'll just get those and claim we have to leave. That's a better bargain, right?"

There's a moment of silence.

I don't know if it's filled with Adam deciding if he likes onion rings, or that he'd be fine to see his mom for a whole fifteen minutes, but he at least contemplates it.

"Well I, for one, think it's a great idea. The onion rings are good. They can't mess those up," Jason agrees, and he waits for Adam to say something.

It should be awkward for him to be here, to witness this moment between Adam and me, but for some reason, it's not. It's odd enough that I've come down here to grab him, but after asserting myself to Arlene and deciding I was done letting other people in when I didn't want them to, this action is all my own, and Jason seems to understand this.

I want Adam to see his mother, and not just because things could get too complicated for them to fix. Because I liked his mom, and the look on her face told me she was struggling with not speaking to him just as much as he was struggling with trying not to speak to them.

"I mean, they could mess them up, but they usually don't…" Jason waits patiently, nodding his head while Adam sits there, and I try one more time.

If this doesn't work, then at least I can tell my mother and Tris I tried.

"Please," I ask him again, softly, and his hands tighten on mine. "Adam…"

"Okay, fine. I'll go," Adam stands up, and our height difference is back to normal. He towers over me, but he smiles, one tight and tense and not very happy smile. "But you owe me. For real."

"Okay, anything," I agree immediately, and I pull him along with me.

Jason exhales in relief, his eyes falling to my hand in Adam's but he doesn't say a word. He simply leads us toward the stairs, turning back to make sure we're actually coming. We follow Jason out of the room and up the stairs until we reach the upper levels.

He only turns around once, and that's to instruct someone to head to the control room. He throws us a nervous, friendly smile, mostly so we won't ask any questions, and in turn, he misses the fact that Adam keeps looking at me, his smile not at all happy, but he keeps my hand firmly in his the entire time.

Including the exact moment he finally sees his mother.

* * *

"I've heard really good things about Zander."

I swallow down one of the fries Lucy had dropped off, and I find myself squished into the largest booth Clyde's has. Next to me, Adam is staring at his drink as though it holds the answers to the universe, and he finally manages to raise his stare from the fascinating fizz.

"Oh…yeah he's…good."

The fry gets stuck in my throat at his disinterested tone.

I had high hopes for Adam seeing his mother. I had thought maybe, because it was just us and her, along with my mother and Christina, he'd be good. He might not love being stuck with his mother's friends, but I would be there. And maybe, just maybe this would be the chance when he'd see she truly only wanted the best for him, and they'd both mend whatever long standing argument they'd been in.

I was wrong.

Adam sat so close I was practically beneath him, and when he looked at me, which was often, he looked like he'd rather repeat the simulation over and over than be sitting here.

It probably would have been better if everyone in the world hadn't shown up.

"Adam, do you want some lettuce wraps? Daniel said they're new."

My grandmother smiles at him, so sweetly yet totally confused, and she should be. I had nearly died when I saw they were here. I didn't get to see them very often, but when I did, I felt like my heart might burst. While I was close to my Grandpa Harrison, Grandpa Daniel was just as great, sometimes more entertaining. He and I had a lot of fun every time we were together, and I loved that he walked into Dauntless like he owned the place.

It would be very hard to miss him and Camille. They were both a little too refined to be in here. Today, they are both dressed up as though this were a special occasion; his royal blue suit jacket is perfectly sharp and perfectly pressed, and her dress is the exact same color, but not as stiff looking. She had hugged me the minute she could, standing up and walking around, even awkwardly hugging Adam in the process. She then took her seat beside my grandfather, smoothed out her hair, and ordered the two of them drinks.

Adam had watched with faint yet obvious interest.

I'm sure a lot of people had interesting thoughts on my father's parents, because even my mother did. I knew she loved Daniel like he was her own father, and she often visited him whenever she could. A few years ago, she'd confessed that Camille wasn't actually his first wife, and the woman he'd been married to before was a royal witch. She'd said it in harsher terms, and I was surprised. I rarely found there to be anyone my mother didn't like, but her shoulders had risen up and she said one of the best days of her life was when my grandfather announced he was getting divorced.

I learned that after his divorce, he quickly remarried. Much quicker than my father liked, but Camille was everything he'd never had. She was kind and nice, pretty, she listened to him talk, and best of all, my mother grinned as she said she was fiercely loyal to him, willing to risk everything to protect him. Once they'd married in a ceremony where I was told my father sat with a petulant look on his face, Camille didn't work as his assistant anymore, and instead was transferred to the maternity floor. I asked if it was a downgrade, but my mother laughed, and said after years of grueling surgeries and research, Camille was very happy to spend her days welcoming newborns into the world.

She'd known me since I was born.

She'd always been incredibly kind. She taught me how to type on my grandfather's laptop, and when I went to visit them, she and I often walked down the most high end street of Erudite to go get coffee. Well, she got coffee. I got chocolate milk or something that I thought was coffee, but the idea was sweet. We'd look at all the stuff in the windows, and she proudly introduced me as her granddaughter to whoever asked.

Even now, she's beaming. She looks up at my grandfather, and the overly large ring on her finger twinkles in the low lighting of Clyde's. It was similar to my mother's, and they were really the only people I'd ever known to wear such jewelry.

"You look much taller since the last time I saw you. You were maybe…thirteen?" Camille keeps talking, well aware Adam wasn't speaking to anyone, and occasionally, he'd shift even closer to me. Probably blaming me for bringing him here and thinking it would be nice if he smothered me to death.

"Yeah…I think so. It had to be….Eva's…birthday…" Adam has lost the ability to form anything other than choppy, short sentences, and he shrugs himself even closer. His foot hits mine, and he looks up from his empty plate to reach across to Camille's offer of whatever Clyde's newest appetizer is. "It's good to see you both. Really. I uh, I didn't think grandparents came to Visiting Day."

Camille smiles even wider.

She loved being a grandmother, and she was the only grandmother on my father's side I knew. I'd never known her as anything else, and I often wondered if I ever saw my other one, the one no one ever spoke of, if she'd know who I was.

From the way my mother had winced when my father muttered her name, _Blythe,_ I got the feeling she wouldn't like me.

"They normally don't," Daniel grins, and he winks at me from behind the black glasses that look just like my father's. "But we wouldn't miss this for the world. Eric has been keeping us updated. I have to say he sounds very proud of how both of you are ranking."

Adam finally cracks the barest hint of a smile. My father's approval was rare, and it had to feel good to know he was impressed.

"Yeah, it's been intense. I was pretty happy to see where I ended up. Eva, too. She's worked hard."

Across from him, Tris smiles.

It's a painful one, like he's ripping her heart out because he won't look at her. In fact, he's looking everywhere but at her. So far, he'd mumbled the world's quickest hello in her general direction, shoved himself right against my side, and stared at the menu.

"Adam," I half hiss, half whisper his name, and when he ignores me, I kick his foot.

He finally looks down at me, so close that our heads are touching, and I shake my head.

"Please…tell your mom _something_. Tell her….um, tell her…"

His eyes meet mine, and suddenly, I can't remember anything about our initiation except the parts pertaining to him and I. I can remember plenty of glances thrown in my direction, plenty of times when he'd held my hand or I'd reached for his. Our walk to the infirmary. The nights I fell asleep against him. His fingers in my hair, slowly lingering when he dragged them through, and the all-too-late and very sudden realization that maybe Kat was right. The way he touched me was more than just my friend or pseudo friend wanting to be nice.

It was a way to tell me he liked me, and he felt comfortable doing something that gentle while our peers around us were fighting for their lives.

I don't think he wants to tell her any of that.

I'm jarred back to Clyde's when Jason orders something strong to drink, and Daniel tells him he'll have one, too.

"Tell her about yesterday," I blurt out, and I've come up with the worst possible training exercise we've done.

But it works.

Adam turns away from me and his stare finally finds the one person who has been waiting to talk to him.

"Um, I got through the simulation pretty quick. I didn't have as many fears as I'd thought."

The table is quiet, because he's not looking at me anymore, or my mom, or Daniel and Camille, or Jason, seated very far away at the end of the table with a nauseous looking Charlotte.

He's looking at his mother, and she's looking at him.

"And yeah, you and Dad were in it. So…I think I'm still hopefully first, after all this. I didn't get sick and Gunner did, so I think I'll stay first."

His leg is pressed right up against mine, and I can feel every single movement he makes. He kicks me back, but his stare stays on his mom.

"Adam…" his name is all she gets out before Lucy returns, and our entrees are dropped off. I stare at the plate of orange chicken and rice in front of me, and the cheeseburger Adam ordered.

"Twenty-six minutes, Eva."

Adam says the words lowly, watching Lucy set down Tris' dinner. My mother grins at me over her salad, and she grins at Daniel when he smiles at everyone, unaware that Adam has some pretty strict time restraints on this dinner, and we've already exceeded them.

"Everyone, enjoy!" Daniel calls out, pleased when everyone listens.

I stab at the orange chicken, and Adam knocks into me as he reaches for his napkin. I barely remembering ordering, but Clyde's is so busy that they're working hard to get everything out as quickly as possible.

"Are you taking this off my time at the Leadership Dinner?" I whisper, and no one but Camille hears me. She tilts her head curiously, and she very slowly cuts into the steak she's ordered.

"Nah, I'll figure out something else."

He sort of laughs when he says it, and I notice his mother watching him intently. She slowly picks up her fork, but she doesn't say anything. The rest of the dinner is laid back. Everyone is busy eating, and the conversation is entirely easy going. The only snag is when my father doesn't show up, and neither does Adam's. Jason announces they're still out there looking for someone, and the dinner concludes when even Charlotte refuses dessert.

"One hour and fifteen minutes."

Adam says the words as we slide out of the booth, and I sit at the edge for just a second to look up at him. He's not entirely mad, and I know this, because he extends his hand out to me.

"Come on, initiate. I hear Zander has a busy day planned for us. We should get back soon."

His words are both true and a great excuse for us to leave. He's been around my family enough times to know they'll stay forever. Daniel would probably offer to walk us to get some coffee or tea, and my mother would insist we go upstairs. Which would be nice, if we didn't have training tomorrow.

"Great," I answer, hopping out of the booth, and I'm pretty sure the entire restaurant is staring at us. They definitely stare a minute later when my mother nearly tackles me, hugging me goodbye as though she'll never see me again.

"I love you. Be good, and remember, if anyone else tries to attack you, I can't stop your father again. He will kill them. He's just…waiting for the opportunity. He's getting a little bored with his desk work." She smiles brightly, and behind her, my grandfather looks horrified.

Because my mother isn't entirely joking, and he must know that.

"I will. Tell Dad I missed him, and I'm sure I'll see him soon. Lurking in the shadows. Maybe working at the coffee cart. Helping Christian make formal wear. Wherever he thinks I won't notice him."

"Eva," my mom laughs, and she steps away so Daniel and Camille can hug me goodbye. They're followed by Jason, hugging me quickly before he offers to walk Charlotte home.

The only person who doesn't hug me is Tris.

That's because she has Adam in front of her, and for three entire seconds, he gives in.

She reaches for him, and he bends down so he doesn't tower over her. I watch her hands grasp onto him tightly, like she hasn't hugged him in a long time, and to her surprise, he hugs her back. It doesn't last long. I don't think his family has ever been overly affectionate, but it's long enough to know that things will be just a little bit better.

He breaks away from her after a second, and this time, she gets an actual, non-mumbled goodbye.

"Don't you dare say I told you so."

I get a non-mumbled response, too.

He looks down at me, his lips turning up in pained acceptance of the dinner, and he takes my hand once again. We leave Clyde's, and I don't have to turn around to know my mother and his are both standing there, watching us leave.

Together.

Hand in hand.


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter💙

Sorry for the late update! Cali was a blast, super fun, and I had about five seconds of free time, hence why this is being updated today! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

* * *

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Six.

Seven.

That's how many seconds it takes before the guy lunges at me, and Zander yells NEXT as soon as we hit the ground with a thud. He turns around only to observe us, and his posture tells me he's seen better than my grimace.

"You'll both have to be faster than that. If they're attacking and taking that long, you should have been ready. Or counter attacked. Get your head out of the clouds, Eva."

I blink in surprise, shoving some guy who weighs twice as much as me to the side and hoping my arm isn't broken. It hurts, mostly from being wrenched into the ground.

"My head isn't in the clouds," I protest, and my answer is a little too snappy for Zander's liking. He whirls back around, still waiting for the next line of initiates to go, and his stare tells me he'd like to tell me to go run for the next hour, but he can't. Not without the risk of me telling my father.

This time, I would.

I was in no mood to go run anywhere today.

"Eva, if you're attacked by someone, they aren't going to stand there and stare at you. You could have attacked him first. You had enough time."

"I wasn't staring," my new friend protests, wiping the grass off his pants. "I was just thinking she was really short and it didn't seem fair to go for her. She's kinda…you know…. little. Shouldn't we be paired up with people our own size?"

Zander looks at both of us.

The guy's name was Stan, and he was very nice considering he'd just knocked me to the ground. He seemed nicer than someone who should be here, beneath the cold sun, trying to learn the jarring defense techniques someone had created and thought were brilliant. They were purposeful, meant to teach us about fending off the factionless and anyone else who might try to take us down, but far rougher than I expected. We each had to take a turn walking down the open area; one person was assigned the role of attacker and the other was the victim. Ultimately, our goal was to fight off the attacker.

It wasn't impossible, but Zander had lined us up in a line of boys versus a line of girls, and instructed us to each take a turn. There was some hesitation, and not just because the lines were uneven. Being attacked out in the open was far unlike preparing to fight someone inside; it was different out here in the fresh air, like this was definitely more real, but I had to admit it hurt.

"She _is_ short, but the factionless don't discriminate," Zander rolls his eyes, and he gestures for the next group.

"Wow," I raise my eyebrows at Zander, but he pays no attention to me.

"You're pretty small. I felt bad running for you," Stan nudges my arm, and I smile, but I look at him like I'm sizing him up.

"Yeah, well at least it'll be easier for me to kick you in the balls this way."

His eyes widen in total surprise, but Stan laughs loud enough that Zander turns around, throwing one very angry glare at me. He'd been expecting me to listen to him. I guess he was assuming I'd be the model initiate here and jump at his every word, but today, I couldn't help myself.

I was beyond tired.

It was my own fault, though there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn't like I was sneaking around all night or staying up late partying. It wasn't even Zander's training, the endless loop of classes, working out, and trying to scarf down a meal before falling asleep.

It was because I was suddenly unable to sleep. I was growing nervous, a lovely and dizzy feeling kind of nervous, because not only was my father bound to show up at some point since he'd missed Visiting Day, but because I had woken up to Adam right next to me. Or really, half on top of me, dead asleep with a death grip on my arm. It wasn't bad; it felt pretty safe, he was warm, and if someone was going to kill me, he'd probably wake up.

But it wasn't that. It was that as much as I was enjoying these lovely nights together, it was becoming clear that he and I were going to wind up exactly like everyone thought. I had a feeling that at some point, Adam would remember he didn't like this -especially since he was going out of his way to prove he wasn't going to do anything his parents thought he would.

It also didn't help that I woke up a few times, once because I was hot, and Adam had himself covering more than half of me, and once because Kat had returned and hit her head on my bunk bed.

"Fuck, Eva who are you sleeping with?"

She was loud enough to wake up those around us, and loud enough that Adam woke up. His only response was to throw his arm further around me, mumble for Kat to shut up, and go right back to sleep. This would have been fine, except Kat's words made me well aware that I was no longer sleeping next to my childhood friend during naptime.

I was sleeping beside someone far larger than me, and now, beneath cold sheets and a not very warm blanket, the size difference wasn't just him towering over me. It was him, everywhere, clearly content to sleep with me against him. During my nights of not sleeping, I'd noticed his hands were much larger, and he used them to slide his fingers between mine or touch my hair. My head wound up somewhere in the middle of his chest, and he held onto me the same way he'd held onto the stuffed cat. He took up most of the bed, which wasn't unexpected since they were clearly made for one person, and I found him to be pretty handsome while he slept there.

It made it hard for me to sleep.

I could feel his chest against my back, his arm resting on my side, and his legs bent so they could be around mine. I certainly wasn't complaining, but I knew Kat was right. This wouldn't culminate with Adam announcing he'd decided we should stay friends and returning to his own bed.

It was going to culminate in something else entirely, and I was woefully unprepared for that.

So I hadn't really slept. I had lain there for a while, looking at his fingers and noticing every bruise and red mark on them. I held up his hand, looking for the black mark I'd seen earlier, but it had turned out to be nothing more than a bruise, similar to the ones I had when we learned the defensive fighting techniques.

He never moved. Not when I turned around to face him, not when I wiggled away to go get a drink, and not even when I climbed back into bed, slipping right back to where I was.

I expected him to be tired, too, and I thought maybe he'd be up some of the times as well.

But no.

The inability to sleep only seemed to be affecting my family.

Zander had shown up with a tired stare beneath messed up hair, and his smile wasn't as bright as normal. I hated to admit it, but he looked stressed, and his shoulders rose up when Karl marched his class over to ours and cheerfully announced we'd be working together, under heavy observation. Karl's tone was bright and encouraging, but I knew what he was hinting at. He might have been smiling, but that wouldn't stop him from killing someone who stepped out of line.

As a counter to the happy ball of sunshine that was Karl, Zander had remained in quite the mood all morning. I couldn't pinpoint what was pissing him off more: Karl cheering on his class with great enthusiasm, Zander's hair not staying in place, the two classes having to work together, or the marks all over his neck that told me my uncle had been out having a very fun night and that was why he was blinking into the sunlight and struggling to stay awake.

I lost all sympathy for him then.

But whatever the reason may be, he was irritable, and not just because we were starting to delve further into a highly important part of the training. He'd told us this next section was detrimental to our survival out here. It would train us to be ready to handle any scenario that might come up, and it was a little rougher than just fighting on the thick mats in the training room.

"Kenny was right. You _are_ funny," Stan extends his hand, and he waits for me to shake it. "I'm Stan. I transferred from Erudite."

"I'm Eva, I transferred from upstairs," I smile, enjoying the way Zander's eye twitches.

"The attacker is not going to introduce himself to his victim. Get back in line! We have to get through this by lunch time!"

"Shouldn't I get to be the attacker now? Why did you make all the girls be the victims?" I put my hands on my hips, and Stan nods, glancing at the waiting initiates.

"Yeah, that's not cool man. There's probably some female villains out there. Equal representation, you know."

Zander turns, and despite coming from the Amity faction and being genuinely very easy going, he looks ready to lose his shit. "Eva and Stan, please get back in line. You can attack people in a minute." He pauses, and he looks right at me. "I should have guessed you'd want to be the one doing the attacking."

"Well, I'm just saying, it seems a little biased." I watch Gunner lunge for Pink, and to his surprise, she knocks him back completely. "I'd adjust your lines. I've already been attacked, in case you've forgotten. I should get to go twice in the other line."

Zander's expression changes, and I realize I may have gone too far. I was being a little mouthy to him for no reason other than I wanted to take a nap, and it was unlikely that would happen without Adam appearing and joining me.

Which meant I wouldn't sleep, since my brain had now decided it would be fun to be nervous around him.

"Sorry, I'm being really rude. I'm just kind of tired and my arm hurts from Stan knocking me over," I apologize, knowing I'm out of line. I certainly didn't know enough to train the class, but I did find this line up a bit fishy.

"Me too. Sorry," Stan agrees, and Zander waves the next group to go without looking.

"It's fine. I get it. It's not… I don't think anyone is the victim or that only the girls would be. You're supposed to complete each line so you know what it's like. It's not my training exercise," Zander sighs, and he steps closer to us. "Go switch. Eva can attack you and when she winds up with a broken skull, I'll just pack my bags and get ready for your father to shoot me on the way out. At the rate things are going, that'll be kind of him. Maybe I'll just ask him to do it now."

I roll my eyes, because Zander is nothing if not as dramatic as he was when he was younger.

"Sounds good to me," I grin, and Zander scowls. "That's what you get for saying I'd never be taller than the minihorse!"

"Eva! That was like, fifteen years ago!" Zander yells, and a few people around us laugh. "You're still mad over that? Really?"

I smirk at him, because his shitty mood shifts from being mad at whoever and whatever, to flashing back to our childhood in Amity.

"Am I really supposed to attack Stan? I don't think I can. We've already bonded and now he knows that he's my victim."

"True," Stan smiles, and I think maybe I should introduce him to Kat. He's not bad looking at all, and he would be fun to hang out with. At least I'd know who he was. "But hey, let's just switch partners when we get there. I don't think anyone will care."

"Great. Have fun. Knock yourselves out. Literally." Zander's answer is flat, and he stands there until we head back to the line.

"He's your uncle, right?" Stan asks me, and we rejoin the line behind Aja and Nikolai. "I heard all about him from a few of the others. They all think he's cool. He's a little more laid back than Karl. But he seems fun."

"He can be fun, I guess," I answer, and I watch two people attack before Zander can say go. "Not today, though. He's got a lot going on. It doesn't help that I think of him like when we were younger."

"Nah, he probably gets it. He doesn't look that much older than us."

"He's not," I step forward, and Stan steps back. "You good?"

"Yeah, go next. I'll wait for the next one." Stan waves me forward, and I turn, fully prepared to attack some transfer I've never met before.

Instead, I find myself partnered up with Vinny.

* * *

I lose my bratty attitude by the time Vinny hits the ground.

For a few seconds, I had been worried. He'd eyed me up and down, rolled his shoulders back, and smiled in a way that told me I was going to pay for breaking his nose. I could see the built up anger he'd been storing away, the bruise along his face, along with the thirst for revenge and the willingness to go right after it.

But just like the last time, I wasn't stupid.

I walked slowly, keeping my stare right on him, and I waited until he tripped. I knew it would happen. He was staring at me like he would be the one to attack and, this time, I'd be dead for sure. But in his quest to intimidate me, he completely neglected to look where he was going.

I leapt for him as soon as he stumbled, and he hit the ground just as hard this time.

"Nice, good work Eva. I think you'll do just fine." Zander also loses the shitty attitude, and he grins as I walk past him. "Those of you who have gone through both times, grab a drink. As soon as we finish, we're heading to the field."

His words are met with a collective murmur of nerves and excitement, and I can't help but share in that nervousness.

The field was where most of the soldiers' actual training took place. Karl could often be seen marching the men and women up and down, making sure they stayed in formation. It was where their continued riflery training was held, and where most, if not all, felt the weight of protecting Dauntless. The empty expanse ran alongside Dauntless with a clear path to the woods. There was something ominous about it, and unless you were assigned to be there, everyone steered clear.

"Nice work, everyone! Keep going! Next!" Zander continues to yell, and I use my time wisely.

I head to get a drink, but I bypass everyone milling around. I seek out some quiet, and I keep walking until I see Rachel. She's perched on top of this half wall, and I know that behind her is a small ravine that runs parallel to the woods. She kicks her feet as I walk up and the sun glows bright enough that it's hard to see.

"Hey!" I squint up at her, and she grins.

"Eva! Come sit." She looks happy enough to see me, and she scoots over so I can sit on the ledge of the wall with her. "I was watching you and Vinny. I'm surprised Zander let you pair up with him."

"You know, me too." I take a long drink of the water, and I follow her gaze to Aja, trying to stalk some kid a few feet shorter than him. "I honestly don't think Zander realized that's who he was."

"Me either," Rachel shakes her head, and her blonde hair falls in her eyes as I hop up to sit on the fence. There's the stillness I'm looking for as we sit there. A cold breeze scrapes against my neck and the low, murmured shouts of our class are the only sounds around us. "What's up with him today? It seems like Zander is in a weird mood today. Did you notice? It's like he's not all that interested. Everyone kept telling me he was like…the greatest trainer ever. They kept saying if you get to train with Zander, you're lucky."

"I heard that," I agree, and I glance at her out of the corner of my eye. "You don't think he's good?"

"Oh no! He's really good. When he's on it. I just think he's seemed out of it for a couple of days. When I did the simulation, he was on his phone when I walked in. And when I was done, he walked me out, and didn't come back for like, ten minutes. I waited, because Aja was after me, and Aja said he thinks…"

Rachel stops, and I wait for her to continue. I swallow down another sip of icy water, and she purposely waits until I look at her. The breeze ruffles her hair, and it floats up for a moment, then falls into her eyes, having come undone from the ponytail it was in.

"Remember when I said we needed to talk?"

"Shit, yes. I'm sorry. We never really did," I feel a flash of guilt at this. I'd let myself get so consumed by not only the training, but by trying to figure things out with Adam, that I'd forgotten she'd asked if we could meet up. "I just…"

"No, don't be sorry. I get it. This is all consuming. And whatever you and Adam have going on is keeping you busy."

I look at her in surprise, and she smiles, placing both her palms down beside her to steady herself. It's completely friendly and not at all the same girl who sat down at the table and asked if we spoke French or wanted to know about my parents' sex life.

"I know, because Aja's bed is right by Adam's. I've seen you there a few times, and I've seen him leaving to find you."

"Yeah…" I glance back at the class, wondering where Adam was, but I'm sort of at a loss for words. I could parrot back everything my mother had told me about Adam, or the great excuses I'd made for myself in regard to him, but none of that feels right. "I'm not really sure…"

"Eva. Please. I know your father scares off every guy who looks your way, but Adam is the only guy who's never been afraid of your dad. In fact, I think he's the only guy your father would ever be good with. Mine's the same way, and I'm not even anyone important here."

"Rachel! You're important. Why would you say that?" I stare at her, and her shrug is dismissive.

"Let's be real. Chad is hardly a leader. His job is important, but he's not…anyone to be feared. He likes to think so, though. He took a page from your father's book and pretty much killed my social life once he thought I was old enough to date anyone. Aja is the first guy he's liked, and Aja is the first guy who's liked me and not cared who I was or how many hours I've worked out. But you're important, and everyone knows that. Aja told me…"

She stops, and I impatiently wait for her to continue.

"Told you what? Rachel?"

But she doesn't say anything.

She suddenly jerks forward and hops off the fence like it's on fire.

"Eva get down! Someone just grabbed me!"

I think she's joking, but she's not. Her stare is wild; she panics when I don't move, then she reaches for me and yanks me down until my boots hit the ground. I turn back to look at the wall, but Rachel drags me along until we're a few feet away.

I can feel the panic radiating from her, and she rubs her wrist while she stares at the wall.

"Rachel, what happened? Who grabbed you?" I frantically try to see where someone could be, and there's a sticky wave of panic that hits me out of nowhere. The fence wasn't very high, but it was wide. It was more a deterrent than anything. It was a weak divider of this section of Dauntless and you'd have to be coming from the woods to be near it. "Rachel, are you okay?"

"Eva, I swear to you, I swear on my father's life, someone grabbed my wrist while we were sitting there." She turns to look at me, and her face is pale. "You didn't feel anything? They didn't grab you?"

I shake my head no, and she swears.

"Okay, fuck. Okay. I'm going to go tell Zander. Come on. You can't stay here. There's someone over there."

She takes off, but she makes sure I go along with her. She holds onto my arm tightly, and we don't stop until we make it to Zander, still working with the class.

He turns around in confusion when she says his name, and I know he's going to tell us to get back in line. I can see the frustration on his face; he still has half a class to get through before we can go inside, but he stops what he's doing when he sees Rachel.

"What happened? Are you two okay?"

Zander steps closer, bending down to examine us both, and he listens patiently while Rachel talks. His eyes lock on mine a few times, and the impatience from earlier changes to pure worry. I know, because he has the same look on his face that he did when Grandpa told him to get back on the porch or he'd get eaten by a wild bear.

This doesn't make me feel any better.

"Over there? Someone grabbed you? Both of you? Or just you? And you're sure it wasn't one of your friends playing a prank or someone from the other class?" He looks at Rachel while he fumbles for his phone, and when she shakes her head, he pushes a few buttons. "Okay, hold tight. I'm gonna call this in. You girls stay here."

"Do you see anyone?" Rachel asks, and I shake my head. The fence was totally silent, sitting there beneath the sunlight, nothing but crumbling cement and a few wildflowers that have grown down by the base. "It wasn't someone from the class. Anyone who would try to play a joke on me is in line."

"I didn't see anyone. Are you sure you're okay?" I ask.

She shakes her head, and she steps close to Zander.

He must sense she's freaked out. He reaches for her, sort of patting her arm as he tries to reassure her things are fine. Whoever Zander calls answers after a few rings, and he briskly tells them he needs patrol squads down here, now. He also asks for Jason, and my stomach turns over when he has them alert both my and Adam's fathers.

"Alright, will do. I'll relay it all to Karl." Zander hangs up and shoves the phone back in his pocket. "We're gonna head in. I'll have everyone come this way, and we'll have Karl's class come in with us. There's a few security concerns so they're sending some people to check it out. Just to be safe."

Zander smiles encouragingly at Rachel and I, then he motions for his class to come toward him. When he can't quite get all their attention at once, he whistles. It's ear piercing and loud, and a second later, someone whistles back.

But not from our class.

And not from Karl's class.

In fact, Karl stops in his tracks, his easy saunter coming to a grinding halt, and he cranes his head toward the very wall we'd been sitting on.

There's another whistle, this time higher, and sharper.

Karl glances back at Zander, and he reaches for his gun. He nods at Zander, and before I can fully figure out that Zander has drawn his as well, my father is there. He's not with Adam's father, but he's not alone. He's followed by what appears to be hundreds of men, all with their weapons drawn, and dark snarls.

He's quite the impressive sight, even if you knew him. I've often forgotten that in his uniform, he is very much the leader of Dauntless, and he is very much ready to kill. His jacket is buttoned up to the top, his hair is slicked back and recently cut, and he walks with his arms behind his back. There is no hurry to his pace, only an air of complete authority that makes a few guys in our class step away from him.

He glances at me, and I have to say, he looks completely unbothered, even amongst the slow trickle of panic making its way through the class. He leads his men closer to us, and they stop with practiced precision when he raises his right hand in the air. They wait until he points, and everyone turns to see what he's gesturing at.

"There. In the woods. There's someone to the left. Open fire as you see fit."

He sounds bored.

Rachel clasps her hand over her mouth, and the Dauntless soldiers take off when my father nods. The men head toward the woods, toward the fence, and not thirty seconds later, the sound of bullets firing begins.

It's loud, explosive and ugly, and it continues until someone yells out three o'clock.

Everyone stands in silence until there is another whistle. It's from the same area, short and sharp, and my father draws his gun.

He turns on his heel, his sharp gaze steely as ever, and he roughly instructs Zander to take us all inside.

* * *

"Are they going to call off the dinner?"

Rachel sits on my bed, her legs pulled up beneath her, and her hair is soaking wet. She looks up when Pink comes by, and she forces a smile as Pink sits down next to her.

"Really? You're worried about the dinner? Are you okay? I heard someone grabbed you," Pink isn't smiling back, and her face is tight with worry. "They said…you and Eva were sitting there. And then…the whistling came from there after Zander did it."

"There was someone there. I swear." Rachel shakes her head, and in this low lighting, she is pale and miserable. "I'm not making it up. Adam's dad kept asking if I was sure, and Eva, you have to tell him I'm not lying. I swear someone grabbed my wrist. I think they would have pulled me backward if I hadn't moved."

"I'm sorry," I scoot closer to her, my own hair still damp and cold, and I'm grateful when Pink scoots in closer, too. "Are you sure Four didn't believe you?"

"I don't think he did. He just kept saying I would have seen someone. But how? I wasn't even facing that way, and I jumped forward. I just…reacted," Rachel is slowly getting worked up all over again, after finally calming down. "And if there wasn't…. then who whistled back?"

"Maybe it was someone from Karl's class," Aja joins us, and he wastes no time reaching for Rachel. He pulls her off my bed, and she stands there, looking back at me with a pleading expression. I know she's hoping I'll go and find Four and tell him she isn't lying, but it won't do any good.

Adam's father had shown up just when we were heading in. He wasn't as eager about the whole thing as my father had been, and he'd stopped both Rachel and me. To my surprise, he seemed to be hesitant about this, like when a small kid tells a parent there's something in the closet. Almost like he thought my father was overreacting.

He stared at Rachel, then me, then asked a few times if Rachel was sure someone grabbed her. His eyes slipped over us to the woods, then back down when he asked her again, how she didn't see someone.

"I don't have a good explanation. I wasn't looking that way. I jumped off the wall without looking back."

Her words were wobbly and filled with panic, and Four frowned. I could tell he didn't like them, nor did he want to believe them, because he exhaled sharply and told her he'd check it out once my father returned.

When he looked at me, I caught the lingering look on his face, and his reaction was exactly the reason why Adam wasn't speaking to him. It was clear he didn't believe her. I could feel Rachel's frustration over this, that she'd imagined the whole thing in her head due to stress or exhaustion or sheer boredom.

But it wasn't any of that.

My father had seen someone in the woods, his men had opened fire, and we had been escorted inside. The rest of our time was spent with Zander, following up on the combat terms, making sure we were all proficient in fighting, and he spent a good amount of time with each person individually.

He'd spent all of thirty seconds with me. He told me I was doing great, I was for sure going to pass, and he appreciated my hard work. It had sounded pretty generic until I grabbed him and asked what was going on.

"Sorry, I just have a ton of people to get through. Look, Eva, remember what I told you a few weeks ago? We're still having those security issues. Nothing major, just the factionless getting restless. Unfortunately, some of the factions…" Zander had paused, and I knew he meant Amity. "want to handle them differently. Dauntless is a little more aggressive, but for good reasons. We know what they do and why they're wreaking havoc. But even knowing that, there's still some argument over how to handle them. I'm sure if word gets out that your dad sent five squads after one person and instructed them to shoot on sight, we'd be having another meeting."

He scrunched up his face at the thought of sitting through a faction wide meeting about the factionless, then shook his head.

"It'll be fine. Someone did probably grab Rachel, but I don't think they'll come back. Eric scared them off for sure."

I felt reassured by his words. I wasn't entirely in the know about the factionless, but I knew enough to be aware of them anytime I saw one. For the most part, they left us alone. They were more likely to stick by Abnegation or Amity, where they'd offer them a hot meal and some respite from the cold weather. They rarely came by Dauntless, since our guards had little patience for them, and were trained to shoot anyone trying to get in without clearance.

"Rach, come on. Let's go get some hot chocolate. We'll sit upstairs for a bit. There's no sense worrying, they told us it was fine."

Aja's voice jerks me back to reality, to the small bed I'm sitting on, and Pink watching Rachel carefully.

"Eva, you think the dinner will still be on right? You don't think they'll cancel it? This is the first one I've been invited to," Rachel turns back to me, and there's a desperation in her voice I haven't heard before.

I knew she badly wanted to go. There was a small chance it could be canceled, or worse, it would be held and her father would be asked to stay here. I shake my head, and I decide I'll ask my father to make sure.

"I'll find out for you. I can ask my dad."

"Okay," Rachel agrees, and she leans against Aja. He shrugs, probably not caring either way, but I know he's worried about Rachel. "Let me get my jacket. Then we'll go."

"You're really going to ask your dad if they're still having the dinner? You think they'd cancel it over someone messing with us?" Pink nudges me with her arm, and we watch Rachel and Aja leave.

"I guess we'll find out," I smile, and I pull her up with me. "There's only one person who'll know, and we might as well go ask him. He might even take us to dinner."

Pink grins back, and the two of us head out, taking the stairs two at a time.

* * *

"Now you're worried about the dinner? I thought you said it was weird if I bring my adult child with me?"

My father sits across from Pink and I, and he's still wearing his uniform. He's not in the best mood; while his posture is relaxed, his shoulders are down and he's cutting up his steak slowly, and not as violently as he normally does, there's a rigidness to him that I've learned comes when he's pissed off.

"Well…we were excited to go and then…that weird thing happened." I cut my own steak, and so does Pink.

We'd found my father in his office. It was early, not quite dinner but too late for lunch, and he was working. He was typing something up, and he stopped when we arrived. Once he knew we weren't leaving without an answer, he asked us to join him for dinner, and rather than Clyde's, he took us to the upscale restaurant. The one where no one in Dauntless ate because it was far pricier than Clyde's, and it was so dark that I had moved the candles into the center of the table so I could see.

Even though it was dark in here, I felt like Pink and I were slightly underdressed. We'd thrown on leggings and shirts, I'd grabbed Adam's jacket, and we had tried to make our now air dried hair look presentable. Mine had mostly dried by now, but I still felt like I was too young to be in here.

From what I'd heard, this was where everyone came when they wanted a romantic, danger filled evening. It was dimly lit, less so than Clyde's, and the knives were sharp enough to slice your fingers off. My father enjoyed it, because everything on the menu revolved around steak and no one was side eyeing him. My mother liked it for the ambience. I was trying to imagine eating here with someone other than my parents, but I felt like an imposter, especially when the waiter frowned at my feet pulled up beneath me into his expensive booth.

"Factionless, fucking with the training. Happens every year. Sometimes it's much worse than this. Your friend was the lucky one they picked, but really, their attempt to get our attention was mild. It was doubtful they'd do anything. As far as I know, it won't affect the Leadership Dinner at all. If the factionless know what's good for them, they'll steer clear."

"Rachel is still worried," Pink informs him, and she takes a sip of the gingery soda he'd ordered. The waiter had asked if we wanted wine, and my father quickly informed him we'd have sodas. "She said it's the first year she gets to go. It's the first year I get to go, too."

My father looks at me, and his lips turn up into a smirk. "I'm sure you'll have a lot of fun as Eva's date. I trust Gunner will have fun as Adam's date."

Pink laughs, and so do I. I like my father's expression, ironically amused at the RSVPs we'd sent in and resigned to just going along with it.

"Are you taking mom?" I watch him try not to laugh, and as if on cue, she arrives.

She's a whirlwind of black fabric, surprisingly wearing a jacket over her dress today, and her hair spills down from the bun she'd had it in.

"Are you? Or are you taking your other wife?" She kisses his cheek, and he stands up to let her slide into the booth.

"Funny," he answers dryly. "I was actually thinking of asking Four. He's looking a little lonely lately. You can go with Tris."

"Ooh, I like that! She's a fun date. She'll have a whole half glass of champagne because she gets drunk." My mother's eyes light up in delight, and I know she's not kidding. "Actually, I was thinking I'd go alone. Maybe if you buy me dessert, I'll sit by you, though."

My father rolls his eyes, and Pink grins.

She liked them a lot. It wasn't that people in Dauntless weren't affectionate, it was just funny to see anyone flirt with my father.

Even if it was my mother.

"Maybe," my dad shrugs, and he smirks down at her. "I ordered for you, Everly. They said they'd bring it out as soon as you got here."

"Who knew you were so sweet," she mother grins, and she reaches for her glass. She also has a soda, but hers is in a wine glass. "Really? Ginger—"

"Every time you have a drink with dinner you fall asleep. I'd like to at least see you tonight," my father grumbles, and my mother pretends to sulk over this. She rarely drank, but I think her tolerance was better than Tris'. "Did you hear what happened? Eva's friend got attacked today. By the factionless. They tried to grab her off the fence."

My mother's eyes widen. "Let me guess, you went down there, guns blazing."

"Actually, yes," My father looks at me, and he smugly sits up straighter. "I don't think they'll be back. I think they got the message."

"Where were you? Were you not here?" I ask, and my mother takes another sip of the same drink I have.

"Unfortunately, I wasn't. I've been incredibly busy. I was in Amity today. I went to see Johanna but she wasn't feeling too great. So I saw my dad, hung out for a bit, and then went over the security updates with him. The upside to Harrison being there is he willingly agrees to have working cameras without any argument."

"Thank God," my dad glances as the waiter appears, and he hands him a plate for my mother. "Johanna wasn't a fan of us there. Harrison is smart for wanting to keep things up to date."

"Do you like traveling so much?" Pink asks, and she tilts her head to observe my parents. My mother is sitting right up against my father. She's lost the jacket she had on, and her whole body is primed toward him, like she'd like to collapse against him. "I know…the ambassadors travel a lot."

"I do," my mother stops, then sighs. "I mean, I did. It's just getting to be a lot. I've been gone all week and I feel like every day I'm running home, and then I'm too tired to even eat dinner."

"You can't take a few days off?" Pink swallows down the bite of steak she'd been chewing, and she glances at me out of the corner of her eye. "Can't they send someone else?"

"I guess we could send someone else. The only things is, you have to have a good relationship to keep things running smoothly. Johanna has always been easy since I'm from there. Erudite is…okay. Cara prefers Eric over me, but she's always been very welcoming," my mom grins when my father rolls his eyes, and I would bet he likes Cara a whole lot less than she likes him. "Candor is one that's tricky. They want to know everything, but they also have strong ideas about how things should work. Abnegation should be the hardest, but Tris' father oversees it, and he's very willing to listen. It's just…exhausting. Every time there's a security risk or alert, I have to make sure they aren't panicking. Some of them are not that easy to calm down."

"Everly," my father frowns, and he sets his fork down with a loud clatter. "I told you, if you're tired or sick of going, don't do it. We can send Jason or Rylan or fuck, even Four can go. You don't have to work so hard."

"I know, but I do like it," my mother sounds reluctant. She finally reaches for her fork, then she looks up at him. "What would I do if I wasn't working? Wait at home for you? Watch TV? Read a book?"

"Yes," my father readily agrees, loud enough that the people in the booth behind him squint at us. "There are potential candidates for it. You could do whatever you wanted. Hang out with Tris all day. I don't care. I just want to have you home with me, not falling asleep from listening to Andrew talk about his morals all day."

"Well, I mean, his morals are fascinating. Have you ever heard his thoughts on underage drinking?"

My father snorts, and Pink and I snicker right along with him. Andrew was Adam's grandfather, and I'd met him a few times. He always looked wary, like he was waiting for someone to do something drastic or over the top or force him to participate in some game he didn't want to play.

"Eat your dinner, Amity," my father pulls her closer, and when he thinks we're all busy eating, he bends down to rest his head against hers. "I'll have Rylan go tomorrow. He's not really doing anything. I think he fell down the stairs trying to prove he could still skateboard."

"Sounds productive," my mother laughs around a forkful of salad, and she looks right at me. "You guys excited? Harrison has been working nonstop to get this dinner ready. He keeps referring to it as a party and I keep reminding him it's supposed to be somewhat serious."

"What does he have planned?" I ask, and my father narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Is it…something fun?"

"He didn't say. He actually didn't show me, either. He made me stay in his house or Forrest's. Woody says hi by the way, Eva."

"I'm excited to see him," I sit up straight, and I move my feet when the waiter comes back to refill my drink. "It sounds like it'll be cool."

"Is Adam excited?" my mother grins, and she winks at Pink. "Are you excited? Aren't you Eva's date?"

"I am," Pink answers brightly. "And Adam is super excited. I bet he's been waiting to go with Gunner forever." She laughs at the last part, and my father shakes his head in mock amusement.

"I saw him earlier. He seemed…oddly normal. I almost forgot he's related to Four."

"Eric!" my mother smacks him and shakes her head. "Be nice. You and Four have a lot of fun together. You said so yourself last week."

"I said he was less annoying than everyone else who was pissing me off," my father grumbles, and he barks at the waiter to bring him some more steak sauce. "I don't believe I used the words _Four and I had_ _fun_ in a sentence. Ever."

"Uh huh." My mother does not believe him, but she smiles anyway. "When did you see him? This morning?"

"A few hours ago." My father shrugs.

"You did?" I ask, realizing I haven't even seen him all day. "He wasn't in our training class today."

"He was with Jason," my dad stops talking, and he looks right at me. "He might not have felt good. Maybe Arlene excused him. That's really the only way out of training. That or death."

"Weird. Well he wasn't dead, so he must have been sick," Pink adds, elbowing me harder than necessary. "Eva can ask him. He'll tell her."

"I'm sure he will," my mom looks pleased with this, and I take a rather large bite of steak so I don't have to answer. "Did you pick up your dress for the dinner? I got mine the other day."

"Not yet," I swallow down the steak, and I realize I'll have to squeeze it into my schedule. "I forgot about it completely."

"Don't forget. You want to look nice for Pink."

I smile at her words, and I focus on enjoying the rest of my dinner with them. It's quiet and dark, and the food is much better than what I've been eating. Like, way better. I silently try to figure out where Adam was, and Pink is a great distraction to my parents. She asks them question after question, including what my mother was wearing to the dinner, and before I know it, it's time to leave.

My dad pays the bill and smiles at both of us, looking proud and smug that he got to see me. He's much more relaxed now, and I don't know if it's that he's eaten dinner, had the chance to shoot someone, or that my mother has returned that's put him a better mood.

"Thanks for dinner, Mr. Coulter." Pink is gracious as we slide out of the booth, ready to head back. I fully expect Rachel to be waiting for us to return, but at least we have good news. "It was good to see you both."

"You too," my mother answers, and she manages to hug both of us. We all stand there while my father watches, and once she lets go, he hugs us roughly. Pink grins at me as we're squished against him, and he lets go after a second.

"I'll see you both at the dinner," he announces, and I stare at him in surprise.

"Not before then?"

"Nope, someone thinks I'm being a little too…cautious. So I've been relegated to my office, or in bed with your mother." He's extra sulky, and behind him, my mother looks pretty smug. "I'll see you in a few days. Behave. Don't get yourselves killed, either."

"Will do."

Pink salutes, and we leave the elegant restaurant a few steps ahead of them. We both wave when we head in opposite directions, us downstairs, and them upstairs.

For a second, I feel a wave of homesick agony at the sight of them leaving. I also feel a wave of embarrassment when Pink elbows me, and we both stop. We watch as my father reaches down to grab my mother's hand, and she stops to look up at him. She stares for a moment, and the two of them stand there, underneath the waning hallway lights, before he bends down to touch her cheek and his hand disappears into her hair.

"Gunner said he's never met anyone who loves their wife as much as your dad. He said he used to see him all the time, walking your mom to the truck bay. He thinks they're like, the end all of relationships here."

I smile at her, because even though my parents could be downright embarrassing, Gunner is right.

There was no one in this faction who loved anyone as much as my father and mother, and it was pretty obvious no matter what happened, that would never change.

* * *

"Where were you?"

I sit on the side of Adam's bed, and he looks up in surprise. I think he'd been almost asleep, and I hadn't meant to wake him up. But I hadn't seen him all day, and his absence felt odd. I'd looked for him when the factionless had grabbed Rachel, and in the moment of panic, I was searching for him. I don't know if I wanted his reassurance or to make sure he was okay, but all I knew was that he wasn't there, and it felt wrong.

"Adam?"

"Come here," Adam shoves the covers back, and he reaches for me without caring that Gunner is still awake, or that Aja is talking to Rachel a few feet away. The room is not entirely dark but dimmed to hint that everyone should go to sleep.

Adam moves over so I can lie next to him, and he immediately turns on his side.

Of course, it's different than the past few times he's fallen asleep beside me. For one, he's not in my bed, but his, but it's not that. It's the look in his eyes, dark and warm, and the way his hands pull me closer. His impatience is obvious tonight, and to my surprise, he slides one palm beneath my shirt, and his hand rests on my back.

It's warm and still, and I suddenly wish I could get closer to him.

"Adam?"

"I had a really bad headache. Like, really bad. Couldn't see. I went to the infirmary and they gave me something that got rid of it, and the lady…the one with grey hair said to take the day off. I went to see Jason for a bit. He was working from home today."

"Oh, I was just wondering…"

He pulls me closer. His leg moves between mine, hitching up higher, and I reach up to rest my palms on his chest. His shirt isn't one I've slept in, but I feel like it could be.

"I just…needed it. We played this video game he had until his wife came home. She's nice. She made us tacos for dinner."

"Meghan is really nice," I agree, and so is this. He's so close that there's no space between us, and he's staring at me in a way he hasn't before. "Did you hear what happened?"

"Yeah, Jason said they were expecting it. He said it happens every year." He frowns then, using his free hand to push my hair behind my ear. "Are you okay? I heard you were by Rachel. I actually heard it from everyone, including her. Several times over."

I smile, because his fingers feel good, and his words are full of unnecessary concern.

"I was fine. I looked for you, but I didn't see you."

Adam nods, and he seems to understand there's more to what I'm saying.

"I'm fine. I just…I felt bad Rachel freaked out."

He nods again, not really saying anything because I have the feeling he knows exactly what I mean. I had long thought myself invincible. I could get through this training on my own, and I could handle whatever was thrown my way, and I wouldn't be afraid. The factionless hadn't been one of my fears, and I felt like it would stay that way.

I was finding that wasn't so true, and it was incredibly nice to sink against him and shut my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Eva. Jason didn't seem too concerned. They called him and he said your dad would handle it."

"He did," I quietly laugh, thinking of him marching down there with enough men to take down a faction. "He was…. very happy to help out."

"You should just stay here. If you want. I should have come to find you, but I thought maybe you wanted some space." Adam's words are so low I can barely hear them, but I do. I shake my head, and his fingers slip further into my hair, and my eyes shut once more.

I hear him mumble something else, something along the lines of _I missed you_ or _Eva, I want to tell you_ _something but I can't_. Or maybe it's _Eva go to sleep because tomorrow is an early day and Zander is_ _making us run an obstacle course designed by my father and someone will definitely die. _

I don't try too hard to figure it out.

For once, I fall asleep first, holding onto him like my life depends on it.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Thanks to everyone for reading and reviewing!

Happy Friday!

* * *

My father keeps his word.

I don't see him.

Not while we run through the city, the cold breeze whipping at our faces and the tall buildings looming over us like some creepy, abandoned backdrop. Not while I punch at my friends, my knuckles raw and sore, and my mind struggling to remember which one was more obvious when they were about to attack. Not while Nikolai and I stand on the edge of the roof, prompted to jump on Zander's command, to leap over a gap that looked mockingly larger than it was.

I don't see him at lunch or dinner, and I most certainly don't see him while I fall asleep next to Adam each night.

That had become the routine I hadn't expected, but one I was unable to break. I wasn't someone who thrived off never varying from a carefully crafted schedule, nor was I someone whose whole life would spin out of control if I stayed up too late. I liked going to bed when I was tired, which was always around the same time, and I liked things that were familiar. This included my own bed, my own pillows, and now Adam, pulling me closer and sliding his hands beneath my shirt until they touched bare skin.

I wasn't naïve enough to believe we were just sleeping by each other because one of us was afraid of the dark. I wasn't naïve enough to miss the way he occasionally tensed up, or the way his fingers crept a little higher each time.

I _was_ naïve enough to think nothing would happen until later.

"Eva, are you sleeping?"

Adam's voice makes me open my eyes, but I hadn't been sleeping. I had been enjoying the feeling of him slowly letting his fingers skim over my skin, and the feeling of his t-shirt beneath mine. I was trying to enjoy the way my mind had suddenly picked up on every little thing about him; the way he smelled, much better than everyone else, and how solid he was beside me. How tall he was. The way he smiled when he was really happy and how different it was.

How large he seemed, even when he arranged himself to close the gap between us.

Occasionally, when his eyes were shut, I was brave enough to reach out and touch him wherever I could. I liked the definition of muscle beneath his skin, more than just hard work and endless hours in the gym. I liked the way his chest felt, knowing more than just strength lie beneath his skin.

I liked all of him, his limbs tangled through mine and his body so close that it felt like it had always been this way.

It wasn't just this, though.

It wasn't just that I found him attractive, or that my brain shut itself down whenever he looked at me. I liked that he was brave, that he was quiet in the same way I could be, and we shared a lot of things in our past that no one would understand. I liked that he was willing to get close to me, and he understood that my level of experience with all of this was zero, and it felt like an even playing field.

I liked that he was smart, that he could make his own decisions, and he stuck to them. He was also patient, more so than anyone had ever been, and he seemed to genuinely like me as a person.

Not as Eric and Everly's daughter, not as someone who would be handed a job here, and not as someone who would help him cheat.

Just me.

I felt better knowing all of this must have been new to him, too. He kept his eyes closed when I slid my fingers over his collar bone, and he sighed when I touched his jaw. His hair was soft, too. It was unlike his friends, even now. Theirs was all short, perfectly straight and practically glued into place, and his was just slightly grown out. I liked all of this, the feeling of his thighs touching mine, and his chest rising and falling while he slept, and it was awfully unfair that the only privacy we had was what we could create.

"No, not really," I look up at him, and he looks down at me.

All around us, our friends are dead asleep.

Zander had made us run an obstacle course for the past few days. A terrifying one, where soldiers shot at us with these darts that temporarily stunned everyone and sent a wave of annoying numbness wherever they hit. It was a weak form of the War Games, but the faction had shifted into a higher security alert, and this was their solution to the age-old initiation game we got to play. I'd heard Karl and Zander talking about it while we walked, both agreeing that this would work just fine, and I was a little disappointed.

My mother told me all about the War Games, and I thought it sounded fun. I would have liked to explore the city at night, hunting down a flag and working together with a team to win. She had gone on to say that she hated them; that my father had woken her up in the middle of the night, dragged her to the train, and she spent hours freezing on the team opposite his. She also cheerfully told me she was the reason Four's team lost, twice, but she didn't care.

Four probably had.

Still, I wanted to experience all of it. Every last moment of this initiation, including shivering in a hideout while waiting for the other team to cross our path.

I was hoping Karl and Zander would change their minds, but they both claimed it didn't feel quite right this year, nor were they willing to risk pissing off my father or any of the other Leaders enforcing this new, no War Games rule. So I played along during Zander's obstacle course, and an hour later, I scrunched up my face when I plucked the dart out of my ankle, and I hopped away, hoping the numb feeling would be over quickly.

I felt a little better when Zander promised we still might get to have the War Games, maybe in a few weeks.

"Me either."

Adam didn't care about the War Games, but he did seem to care that I was sleeping beside him. He'd brushed his teeth beside me, fixed his hair, and guided me right to his bed. I couldn't complain. I'd held his hand the entire walk back from dinner with his mother, and I knew he felt different. Happier. Even if he wasn't willing to admit it, seeing her had been good for both of them.

He wasn't thinking about that now, though.

If I had to guess, I would say he was thinking this was certainly not just us falling asleep together because we were dead tired.

"Are you excited for the dinner?"

His words are murmured, blurred by the fact that he's so close to me I want him to bend his head down lower. The feeling had come out of nowhere, wondering what it would be like to press my lips to his. It wasn't that I'd never kissed anyone. I had kissed him, once years ago, to the delight of my mother and Tris. I'd only heard about it, and I imagine we'd been goaded or bribed for their own enjoyment, and Adam had probably smacked his face into mine and called it a day.

But it would be different now.

I can tell.

"Are you going to make Gunner leave the dinner when your time is up?" I look up at him again, into blue eyes, unfairly long eyelashes, and the smirky grin on his face. "Or does he get all night with you?"

"Whatever he wants," Adam grins, and I feel him slide his hand out from beneath my shirt. I'd thrown on one that was my mother's, and I was assuming it had been my father's. It was large enough that I didn't need pajama shorts beneath it, which lead to an entirely different feeling of lying in bed with Adam. I'd thrown my leg over his, pushing myself higher because it was closer, and he'd stared at me.

It was closer than we had been, and I liked the way it felt.

"Wow, I see how it is," I can't help but crack up, even though I'm trying to keep a straight face. "Should I plan on sleeping in my own bed that night? Gunner might expect to stay…"

I don't even get to finish my hilarious commentary, because Adam does bend his head down, and his nose touches mine. There's no hesitation on his part, like he's thought this through, and I close my eyes without thinking.

"No, you'll sleep here. Where you've slept every night."

I swallow thickly. I can feel him against me, shifting toward me, and his fingers curl into my hair to pull me closer. All I can do is wait, and my chest grows tight as my lungs beg for me to take a deep breath, or any breath really.

"Eva…don't forget…you owe me for the dinner with your mom and mine…"

He nudges my nose with his, and right when I feel his lips touch mine, the alarm goes off.

It's not just any alarm. It's the blinking lights informing us there's a fire, the wailing alert telling us that something has gone wrong, and the sudden appearance of a guard, yelling for everyone to file outside.

The moment between Adam and I is gone. It's ripped away as he pulls back from me, panic taking over, and he yanks me along with him. I hit my head as we climb out of his bed, and Aja does the same to Rachel. She yelps as he pulls her down from the top bunk, and we join the lines of initiates waiting to leave.

"I don't even have shoes on!"

Someone is shrieking, and I'm pushed along by the people behind me as they try to get out.

In the midst of the chaos, Adam turns back around, and he fumbles until he has a firm grasp on my hand. I turn around until I can grab Rachel's hand, and she and Aja do their best to keep up.

"Where's Pink! Where's Kat?" I yell, but no one can hear to answer me. All around us are initiates and members shouting, and it only worsens when we reach the pit. "Do you see them?"

"No," Adam glances around furiously, and he waves over Gunner when he can finally see. "Hey, is Pink with you?"

"Yeah, but we can't find Kat!" Gunner shoves Nikolai out of his way, and he forces a space so Pink can stand next to us. "Guards over there said something's on fire."

"Really?" I look around the Pit, trying to figure out what could possibly be burning. And if it was, why were we in the middle of the compound and not outside. "Shouldn't we go outside?"

"I'm fucking freezing. It'll be worse outside," Pink groans, and I nod along with her.

"Okay, well do you want to be cold or do you want to be dead?" Gunner sounds mildly panicked, and he shakes his head. "Leaders are coming this way. Jason is right there."

He points across the Pit, and I find myself slammed into Adam as another wave of soldiers storm past us. They don't stop, but keep going, heading out of the faction without breaking their stride.

"You guys okay?" Jason stops beside us. He looks at each of us, making sure everyone is alive, and he looks right at me. When I nod, he smiles tightly. "Sorry about all this. Just hang out for a minute. They'll send you back downstairs as soon as everything is under control. All the alarms went off, but it's not really an emergency."

"Um, then where are all those guys going?" Gunner points to the soldiers leaving, and Jason looks back at him, amusement flashing across his face.

"Shift change. We patrol at night, you know."

"Ah yeah, I forgot." Gunner looks embarrassed, and he slinks away from Jason with a red face.

"Why'd the fire alarm go off then?" I look up at Jason, and a slow, all knowing grin replaces his serious look. He glances toward one of the hallways, and he shakes his head with an exaggerated sigh.

"Rylan."

* * *

"T'was I who set the faction ablaze."

A half hour later, I sit at a table in Clyde's, wearing nothing but my pajama shirt. To be fair, no one else is really dressed. Adam is in whatever he'd been sleeping in, Rachel's tank top and tiny pajama shorts have left her shivering into Aja's side, and Pink's oversized shirt is similar to mine. She sits as close to Gunner as I do Adam, and Rylan sits across from us, grinning in sheer delight at his captive audience.

"I was making a pita. I forgot to keep an eye on the toaster. Quinten is pisssssssed." Rylan draws the last words out, and even in the dark of Clyde's and in the middle of chaos, he's absolutely thrilled to see us all. "He was like- 'did you burn down my kitchen, RYAN!' First of all, it's RYLAN, with an L."

"RYLAN ANTHONY MARGOLIS! Did you set off the alarms again?"

The shriek belongs to Christina, also in her pajamas, and she looks less thrilled than Rylan. Her hair is a mess from her sleep, and she crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at her husband. "Why on Earth were you making a pita at ten o'clock at night. We ate dinner! You don't even like pitas! You said they were fake bread pretending to be pizza crust and never to buy them again!"

Rylan pretends to contemplate this.

"I did say that, but I was hungry. No one died, so everything is fine. And while I appreciate you coming to check on me, not only am I fine, I'm on duty for another two hours so just go back to bed." He calls this out to his wife, like she isn't beside him, ready to strangle him.

"_Rylan_," she says his name threateningly again, and he's unfazed. "Last week you fell down the stairs and hit Four in the face with a skateboard. He had to get stitches, Rylan. Stitches! Tonight, you woke up the entire faction because you burned your snack. We're going to have no friends left if you keep this up."

"Never," Rylan waves her off, and she only looks madder. "Both were an accident. Four said he forgave me so long as I never skateboard near him again, and I'm sure everyone in the faction understands. Who hasn't had something catch fire?"

"Why did I marry you again?" Christina groans, and she presses her hands over her eyes. "Rylan…"

"Obviously, because I'm very attractive. After that, I'd say because you find me hilarious and your other boyfriend was pretty freaking lame. Is he still here? Or did he finally die from loneliness?"

Next to me, Adam snorts.

We both knew that no matter how mad Christina was at him, she loved him in a way none of us understood. She saw something in him no one else did, and even now, she relents to go stand by him.

"Did Quinten ban you from the kitchens?" she asks, reaching her arms around to hug him. She looks like she's strangling him, but she's not. Her head drops down, and Rylan shakes his head enthusiastically.

"For like a day. I have my full privileges back once we order some new kitchen equipment. I promised him he could upgrade."

"Good luck getting that approved by the budget committee," Christina sighs, but she kisses his cheek and straightens back up. "Now that I know you're alive, I'm going back to bed. Try to stay out of trouble for the rest of the night. I have to be up early tomorrow."

"We'll see." Rylan sounds defiant, like she alone couldn't stop him from seeking out trouble, but he's joking. "I'll be there soon."

He looks up to grin at Christina and he smiles brightly. She smiles back at him, no longer annoyed that he'd nearly burned down the faction, and she kisses him goodbye.

"I'll wait up. But Rylan, don't keep them here too long. They have a busy day tomorrow, and half are going to the Leadership Dinner. They should be going back to bed." She waves as she leaves, and she catches my eye solely so she can wink. "See you in Amity. Hopefully Rylan chooses not to burn it to the ground."

"Are you going to catch something on fire in Amity? Should we be worried?" Gunner leans back, and Rylan laughs.

"Only if you're lucky. We'll see exactly how much fun you all have when you realize that it's held outside, in the winter, and Harrison is our guest speaker of the evening. Trust me, you'll be the one lighting the table on fire to keep yourself awake."

He looks at me, and I shake my head with a snicker.

There was a chance he could be right. The last Leadership Dinner had spanned hours, creeping along as Cara talked about whether or not our serums were environmentally conscious, as well as the waste disposal of them. Only Jason had really been interested, and I was fairly certain my father had fallen asleep during her speech.

But I had a feeling this year's dinner would be different, in every way possible.

I'm sure of it, when Adam's arm snakes around my shoulder to pull me closer, and it hits me that less than an hour ago, Adam Eaton had kissed me.

* * *

"Does that count? I mean, are you counting it?"

Pink sits on my bedroom floor, neatly lacing up a pair of dark boots while she stares at me. Her hair had been curled to look fancy, then she shook most of it out and sprayed it before my mother could tell her to hold still.

"I mean, wouldn't you? He was _trying_ to kiss me. Until Rylan set off the alarm." I chose logic while thinking about this, because Adam's intent had been to kiss me. Sadly, after being at Clyde's for an hour and one freezing walk home, he didn't try to repeat the action.

Even worse, I barely saw him afterward. Gunner and Aja begged him to come with them to look at something, and I wound up going to sleep alone, and waking up alone. I didn't even see him today. Zander assigned me to finish up combat terms with Nikolai, and I spent my entire day fending off his never-ending questions about both my parents and Adam's and trying to sneak away from him. "I think it counts."

"Kat, what do you think?" Pink laces up her other boot, and they clash terribly with her dress. But she refused to wear the high shoes Christian had given her, and she waved him off, claiming she couldn't risk a broken ankle. "Does it count or not?"

"Um…" Kat looks up from her phone. She'd been lounging on my bed with one lovesick look on her face, and it stays that way until she looks at us. "Sure. Congrats, Eva. The boy we all told you was in love with you finally made a move. And your godfather ruined it. With your luck, it'll take Adam another eighteen years to tell you he's always liked you and Rylan will mess that up, too."

Everyone turns to look at me, and I have to admit, I'm a little surprised.

Kat's mood hadn't been pleasant all day. I wasn't sure if it was her secret romance, the upcoming rankings, or Zander skipping out of training early without even saying goodbye to us. We'd received the brunt of it at lunch. She was glued to her phone, the glow from the screen lighting up her face as she smiled, but her mood quickly soured.

She spent the rest of our lunch picking apart what we were eating, and her shitty mood only lessened once we got to my parent's, and someone started texting her.

"Kat, what is your deal?" Rachel stares at her, and she tilts her head in complete annoyance. "I don't even know you that well, and even I know you're being really rude to your friend. Actually," Rachel pauses, right as Christina comes in. "you're being a bitch and you're not even happy for her. It probably took a lot for Adam to kiss her. What if she pushed him away? I doubt Rylan knew what they were doing. You really should be supportive of her, not…acting like this is so far beneath you."

Everyone freezes, including Kat.

She knows Rachel has a point. Kat _was _being bitchy. While not quite as irritable as she had been at lunch, she'd shown up as if she'd been ordered to get ready with us, and she'd been silent until now.

She's not silent anymore. Her eyes flash, and she sits up, sneering at Rachel, for daring to say anything. "What's your deal? You don't even know me. You think just because Eva invited you to get ready with everyone makes you our new best friend, well you're wrong. Rylan ruined her night, not me. So lay off, Rachel."

"Okay, I have to agree with blondie here. You're being an ass. Kat, if you want to go to the dinner, just say you do, and we'll take you. You can come with Rylan and me. And Eva, what did Rylan ruin?"

Christina glances at me, and she looks murderous. I knew she didn't like this at all. Mean girls weren't her thing, and if anything, she was the fiercest and most loyal friend my mother and Tris had. The three of them were incredibly close, and she didn't tolerate any sort of drama between them.

Or apparently between us.

"Why, so I can go stare at all the happy couples?" Kat sulks, and she shrugs indifferently. "I promise you, I do not want to go to your stupid dinner. I was already invited and I said no."

"Then lose the attitude or go back downstairs." Christina stares at her, and her glare works. Kat relents; she mumbles an apology, both at Rachel and me. It's low and halfhearted and entirely forced, but she knows better than to say anything else. "Eva, sit here, I'll do your hair."

"Okay," I agree, and Rachel catches my eye. She looks upset, and I smile, shaking my head to silently tell her Kat was just…. going through something. And whatever it was, she better hurry her way through it. "Rachel, can you help me find my dress? I don't even know where I put it. I think my mom might have it. She's in the kitchen."

"Sure," Rachel perks up, ignoring Kat's sullen glare. "I'll go find her."

She leaves immediately, stepping over Pink and her boots, and I hear her greet my father while he yells if my mother knows where his jacket is.

"Alright, now what did Rylan ruin? I apologize if it was more than your sleep. He must have needed some excitement to break up his night, because he hates working the late shift." Christina sits behind me, and she carefully parts my hair, then clips it up. "Was it something important?"

I stay totally silent. In front of me, Pink is waiting for my answer, and to the side of me, Kat is keeping her mouth shut.

"Eva…it's just me. Your most favorite and understanding godmother. You can tell me. I won't tell a soul," Christina insists, and I take a deep breath.

"Not even my mother?"

"Oh shit, are you pregnant?" She shrieks in response, yanking my head to the side. "Sorry, oooh I'm sorry, Eva! Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I laugh, and Pink snickers at the look on my face as I rub my head where she pulled my hair. "No, I'm not pregnant. Not even close. It's Adam. Adam was about to kiss me when the fire alarm went off. We were just talking about if it counts or not."

Christina's fingers, seconds ago pulling a section of my hair down to curl, freeze. "He kissed you? Seriously?"

Kat and I lock eyes. Her expression is pretty unimpressed, but I understood. Whatever she had going on seemed to be light years ahead of whatever Adam and I were doing. I wouldn't be surprised if she was engaged and thought this whole situation was juvenile.

"Yeah, while we were in bed."

"Oh, in bed." Christina unwraps my hair from the curling iron, then takes another section and wraps my hair around it. "So you're…sleeping together. During initiation."

"Not like that," I clarify, and Kat grins. "What are you smirking about over there? I know this probably seems stupid to you, but it's not stupid to me."

"I didn't say it was stupid," Kat's eyes widen. "Eva, I swear! I'm fully invested in this whole thing, promise. I told you, I've watched Adam stare at you and I've watched him gaze longingly from his bed until you head over there. It's just…it seems like it's going really slow. Like, you've known him since you were born. Would it kill you to speed things up a bit?"

"Uhhhh…hold up," Christina pauses, and a warm section of hair falls onto my shoulder. "Adam…so it's happening. This is a thing? You and him? Really? Like…Four and Tris' Adam? Or another Adam who I don't know?"

"Oh it's a thing," Pink grins. "It's the Adam you know. Eva didn't believe it was real, but you should see the way he looks at her. Like he's thinking she'll disappear if he looks away. But I disagree with Kat. I wouldn't sleep with him tonight. He barely kissed you!"

"Sleep like in his bed or sleep like…"

Christina is cut off by my mother arriving, and she cheerfully greets everyone. She's already dressed and ready to go. Her dress is far more revealing than I'd expect her to wear: it's black and fitted, with a low neckline and thin straps. Her heels are higher than I would think one could walk in, and I can already hear my father telling her she's going to freeze.

"What did I miss? Anything good? Eva, Rachel and I found your dress. Christian brought it with mine and your father put them in the closet." She smiles in approval at my hair, and then glances around the room. "You are so lucky you're all going together. I went to the first dinner alone."

"I bet it was an amazing night," Rachel looks at her, and she sounds wistful. "How did your husband ask you? Wasn't he training you when you went with him the first time?"

My mother freezes at her words, and she looks at me. Her dark hair is entirely down and wavy, and there's a sparkly barrette holding one side back. She takes a minute to look at Christina, and behind me, Christina snorts.

"Um, yes, I was his initiate at the time. But that was fine. He was very polite. He wasn't sure I'd go with him but of course I went." My mother quickly answers, and Christina laughs.

"I don't know if _polite _describes it, but sure. Good one, Everly. They all know Eric is incredibly polite and romantic. That's immediately what I think of when I think of Eric."

"I'm taking it you can't tell us," Kat declares, and everyone turns to look at her. "Or was he really actually polite and that's the joke?"

"It's a long story. I don't have time to tell everything. Just know that he asked me, and I accepted." My mother answers her dismissively, but her cheeks turn pink just as my father walks into the room. He stops, glances around at the mess going on, and then looks at my mother and closes his eyes. "Eric, are you okay? You look…strange."

"We have to leave in twenty minutes. Which means you have ten minutes for all of you to finish getting ready because we still have to walk to the trucks." He stares at all of us, and Pink grins up at him. His stare moves around the room, and he closes his eyes when it lands on the piles of dresses we had to choose from.

The shoes.

The curling irons.

Rachel's box of makeup, of everything in every shade imaginable, strewn all over the floor.

Bracelets and necklaces, and Christina's own dress for the dinner.

The room is a total mess.

To top it off, the room is full of all of us, trying to finish getting ready, and Christina still trying to figure out what I was doing with Adam.

No wonder my father is stressed.

"You look nice, Mr. Coulter," Pink smiles, and she watches him chew on the side of his cheek.

"Thanks," he sounds like he doesn't believe her. His suit is so dark it hurts my eyes, and his shirt is black, too. My mother walks over to stand by him, and when she's close enough, he immediately yanks her against his side. "Don't you look pretty. Are you sure you want to go tonight? We could always skip this and go eat downstairs..."

My mother smiles, and I have to admit, they both look nice.

"I promised my dad we'd be there. They're almost ready, Eric. I'm going to fix Rachel's hair, Eva and Christina have to get dressed, and then we'll be on our way downstairs," she swears this, but he still looks like he doesn't believe her.

"Fine. I'm going to get Rylan. I guess all of your dates are getting ready with him. God knows what they're wearing."

"My date is right here," Pink laughs, and I stretch my hand out to her. She takes it, and my father shakes his head. "I think we're going to have fun tonight."

"Me too."

"Wonderful." My father stares, and his expression is pure apprehension.

"What's wrong?" My mother asks him, rising up to kiss his cheek. "You look terrified. Even more than when Four asked if he could talk to you the other night."

"Nothing. I just feel like I'm chaperoning some sort of weird, formal event for teenagers rather than going to the Leadership Dinner. Times have really changed since our first one." He shakes his head and slides his arm away from her. "Ten minutes. Everly, promise me you'll be ready. I hate to be late."

"I know. I promise on my life," my mother beams at him, and he reluctantly leaves. She watches him head toward the front door, and she turns back to us with a grin. "I promise that in fifteen minutes, we'll be walking down to the trucks. But these shoes are hard to walk in, so we'll see what time we actually get there."

He must hear her. He swears, loudly, and everyone laughs when the front door slams shut.

* * *

The drive to Amity is quick.

My father drives, his posture casual with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding my mother's hand. His fingers are interlaced through hers, and she keeps scooting closer and closer to him. The cabin of the truck is a little chilly, but much warmer than outside, and Adam and I sit in the back with Pink and Gunner.

There had been a few dramatics upon our departure, starting with the number of people going. My father had looked like his head might explode when he saw everyone milling around, waiting to leave. He was vocal with the thought that it felt like Dauntless had no one to oversee it. I understood his hesitation in taking what looked like almost every truck the faction had, but we didn't have much choice. Rylan and Christina were going, so were Jason and Meghan. Karl, Charlotte, and their two boys dressed in tiny, dark suits, repeatedly punching each other. Nikolai and his mother, her eyes glued to Four and Tris with one sharply scrutinizing stare, and his father. I had only met him a few times, but he was much nicer and easier going than his mother. Nikolai's date wasn't who I expected, and his mother didn't look thrilled.

It didn't look like Nikolai cared.

There were others.

Rachel's parents, her mother fixing her father's suit coat and her blonde hair pinned up in a fancy twist, and two of Karl's friends. They were coming partially as security for the event, and they had at least a dozen or so men they were bringing along with them. Zander, busied talking to one of the guards, dressed up just as much as my father.

Adam and I didn't quite fit in with any of them.

Rachel and Aja were beaming with excitement to go, Pink and Gunner were pretending to be slyly cool about the whole thing, and while Adam and I were both happy for the chance to do something different, we'd attended enough of these to know it was still a formal event. It wouldn't be as entertaining or free as Pink thought, but it would still be better than spending tonight worrying about initiation.

Or whether or not Adam would kiss me again.

I thought of this while he slid into the seat beside me, and his leg was pressed up against mine.

He is wearing the dark suit Christian had made, all black, not pink, but well fitted, and every so often, his hand touches mine. The only ones who can see are Gunner and Pink, but they're paying no attention to us. They're watching the scenery blur by and trying to figure out how far away we are.

They keep asking, but my father sharply answers no, and tells them not to ask him again.

Until he sighs in relief and turns to look over his shoulder.

"We're at the border now. You can stop asking me if we're there yet," he calls out, and my mother sits up straighter.

"Do you think they'll really have it outside?" She sounds worried, perhaps because she'd declined to take a sweater or a coat, and she'd asked my father six times to turn the heat up in the truck. "The dome just doesn't seem like a great place to hold the dinner."

"With our luck, it'll be in the barn."

My father's words are flat, and Adam nudges me with his elbow.

"You ready for this?

He looks down at me, and I look up at him, and my stomach turns over. I haven't really seen him since he tried to kiss me, and the smirk on his face tells me he still plans on cashing in on our deal. I wait for someone to say something, but for once, no one pays any attention to us. My mother is telling my father to hurry up and look at something, and Pink and Gunner are arguing over what they should do first.

Adam smiles, and his eyes slip over my hair, curled by Christina to fall down over the black dress Christian had made, and he moves his leg closer to mine.

"Eva?"

His parents had stared at all of us while we waited to get into the trucks. I'm sure they were thinking he'd go with them, but I reached for his arm, and he willingly followed me around the largest and first truck, until we reached the passenger side. My father held the door open, and he yelled for Four to take the second truck.

Four had looked irritated.

Mostly because Jason and Rylan loudly decided they were going with him, because this meant they wouldn't have to drive home and could drink all they wanted. Tris had smiled, but her eyes stayed on Adam until he disappeared into the dark truck and she looked happier when Meghan and Christina joined them.

"Does this mean our forty-five minutes starts now?"

He bends now, awfully brave considering my father could choose to crash the truck at any moment, and he nods.

"Forty-four minutes now."

"Eric, look!"

My mother's yelp distracts both of us. She scoots over until she's right against my father's side, and she points into the distance.

"What the fuck, Everly." My father swears loudly, turning sharply to avoid hitting the men waving us through, right toward the glittering rainbow of colors lighting up the once empty fields of Amity.

* * *

"Eva Coulter, get over here! You look absolutely beautiful. Everly, so do you! Eric, you look like shit. Wipe that scowl off your face when you come to my faction."

My grandfather greets us at the edge of a makeshift parking lot, and he smiles widely, opening up his arms so I can hug him. I had thought something was up when we'd arrived to Amity having their own security guards, but this was so much more. It seemed that my grandfather had been spending his free time in Amity working to prepare for this evening, but not in the way anyone expected.

To the left of him, was the Leadership Dinner.

There were the formal tables set up for dinner, and much to my mother's dismay, they were outside. Each table was long, decorated with large, blooming flowers and candles that had been painstakingly lit one by one. The tables were set, the name cards were placed at each seat, and at the very end, was the serving line where the food was currently being placed. There were bonfires lit around the tables, along with a pile of heavy blankets in case anyone needed one, plus members of Amity milling around to make sure everything was perfect. They moved with great joy; a few stared at the tables, taking the time to adjust the flowers or fix the silverware, and it was clear they'd put a lot of thought into this dinner.

But beyond that, beyond the smiling members of Amity and my grandmother waving at us from the dessert table, was Zander's birthday party, amplified by ten thousand.

"Did you do all this?"

I ask against my Grandfather's shirt, not at all formal but somewhat dressier than he would normally wear, and he hugs me even tighter. He smells like everything that reminded me of Amity –the burning fire, the piney woods, and an awful lot like my grandmother and the oils my father swore were toxic.

"I did. I have to admit, it's mostly for you. I figured this would be the last one you'd be at, so I thought we'd make it special. Besides, your grandmother and I went down that wretched pier a while ago, and she kept talking about what it would be like to see it all lit up and working."

"You did all this?"

My mother steps away from my father, and behind her, there's a flurry of activity as everyone climbs out of the trucks. Dauntless has parked pretty haphazardly; the trucks are everywhere, intermixed between the sleek shiny cars from Erudite. Everyone immediately notices what's been built, because it's hard to miss, especially the Ferris Wheel. It's not as large as the one on the pier, but a smaller replica, and the lights flash as it turns round and round.

"I did. Back in Dauntless, I worked on the trucks enough that I developed a casual interest in engineering." Harrison answers, and he lets go of me so he can grab Pink to hug her.

"A casual interest," Rylan parrots, and he comes to a dead stop next to us, holding Christina's hand. He's not wearing the same dark suit everyone else is, but something even more formal. "Harrison…you just casually built a Ferris wheel in the Amity fields because you learned how to repair the trucks?"

"Not just a Ferris wheel," Harrison answers, and he narrows his eyes in insult at both Rylan and his outfit. "I rebuilt whatever I could. I had help, of course. We have quite a few structural engineers here. Plenty from Erudite who designed our watering systems and the central heating for the offices. Building this wasn't that much harder. We looked at it like a challenge, something to do in our free time. They were happy to help."

"When?" Jason and Meghan stop beside me, and Meghan's eyes are glued to the slew of rides Harrison is talking about. He was right when he said he hadn't just built one ride, but several. The whole area was lit up with blinking lights, tents with games, booths offering all kinds of foods that I'd never seen before, and even a fake haunted house. "You declined my request to meet last week because you said you were busy."

"I was busy," Harrison answers casually, and he walks forward, then turns around to face us. Everyone has gathered in a group behind my parents, and I feel a sense of pride when he waves them off like he owns the place. "I might as well tell you now, before you all start asking. As of a month ago, Johanna no longer has any interest in leading this faction. I was unanimously voted in to take it over. I didn't want to. I spent years dealing with you fuckers and I had no interest in doing it again."

"Thanks Harrison. We miss you, too," my father answers dryly, and Harrison smiles.

"But rather than letting the faction flail around without a leader, I agreed. I made some changes, but I knew it was our turn to host the dinner. So, in my free time, I worked on this and decided it would debut tonight. For one night only."

"He's been very busy," my grandmother greets us all with a large smile, and she takes hold of my grandpa's hand. Her dress is pretty, and she has a jacket over it. "We walked the pier a few times and I thought it was a waste no one ever tried to renovate it. Harrison said it was too far gone."

"So you just…made all this for…tonight?" Four is staring at my grandfather in total disbelief. "Or is it staying? Won't it attract…all kinds of people?"

"I did make it for tonight, but it can be taken apart. It'll break down easily, if you know what you're doing. Good to see you, Fourteen. I see time hasn't made you any less of a buzzkill." My grandpa winks at him, and next to me, Adam laughs. "We eat in an hour. Erudite is already here, and should Abnegation choose to show up, they should be arriving any second. Enjoy yourselves, and don't destroy my faction. Make sure you pick up your trash when you leave."

There is a murmur of impressed awe as everyone stares past where he's gesturing.

Behind my grandfather lies an entire carnival, built by him, as a weekend hobby.

* * *

"Are you even tall enough to ride this?"

Adam grins as he pushes me toward the oversized sign. It cheerfully claims you must be so many inches to ride, but I'm well above the red line.

"Funny," I pretend to glare at him, then I turn to glance up at what he's talking about.

For a split second, I second guess agreeing to go on it.

The Ferris wheel was much larger than I was thinking. Adam had suggested we come down and look at it, then said we should go on it. I agreed, thinking sure, why not? I'd seen the Ferris Wheel at the pier plenty of times. Rylan and Jason took me down there occasionally, and sometimes my parents and I would walk down when it was nice out.

While the pier was now pretty rundown and depressing, I could imagine it must have been great at some time. I could see tons of people coming to spend the evening beneath the lights, mixing with people from all over, all seeking out more excitement than their day to day life offered.

Sort of like tonight.

After talking with Harrison, everyone had stared for a moment before we figured we might as well see what he'd built. My parents walked with my grandparents, and a few times, I heard my father ask if this was really what Harrison had for a leadership dinner. He sounded both impressed and horrified, but I thought it was just fine. So did Pink and Gunner, but my father looked like he wasn't so sure. He might not love attending the Leadership Dinners, but his suit was incredibly out of place next to a grinning clown handing out balloons, and he certainly wasn't one for surprises.

This was definitely a surprise.

Adam and I didn't hang around to hear my father's thoughts on ride safety or how Erudite held their dinners in an elegant ballroom. Instead, we took off down the dirt path and made our way toward the canopy of colorful lights. There was a moment of simulation-like surrealism here –did my grandfather really build all this, or was I imagining that I was standing in front of a fortune teller offering to tell me my future? But I knew I wasn't imagining it, because Adam took hold of my hand, and had announced that he would put the countdown on hold so we could walk around.

I suppose being surrounded by a maze of tents and whirling rides was enough to pause our deal.

"Do you think it's safe?" Adam grins again, wider, as his eyes travel up skyward, to the cars at the very top of the ride, and we both know it isn't.

"I'm assuming someone checked it before they turned it," I look up higher, watching a few of the cars sway back and forth, rocking as the wheel turns. "I mean, I hope so."

The line for the Ferris Wheel was the longest. There were plenty of other rides Harrison and his friends had built, all just waiting for us to get on them: a carousel with varied colored horses, a fun house, some sort of tilt-a-whirl that looked nausea inducing, a smaller zipline set up between two high cranes, an obstacle course, and bumper cars. There were horse rides, a petting zoo with Rylan currently glaring at one of the chickens like it had personally wronged him, a fishing game, face painting, and a slide that looked more dangerous than fun. It was obvious it was built with a lot of love and very few safety regulations.

"You know what, no. I take it back. It's not safe." I laugh as I catch sight of Tris walking with Four toward the Ferris Wheel, and the apprehensive look on his face is one I haven't seen before. "We should still go on it, though."

"I agree," Adam reaches for me, and together, we scan the crowd for Gunner and Pink.

We'd taken some time to walk through the carnival, and I had to admit, even compared to the other guests from Erudite, we were way overdressed. The high shoes Christian had given me weren't really meant for actual walking, and to remedy this, I held onto Adam. Pink was fine, since she'd skipped the dress shoes for her boots, and the boys were fine, too.

For a while, we stuck together. The four of us had gone past a fun house with weird mirrors that made me taller than Adam, a squirt gun game where some kids from Erudite were losing their minds over getting to shoot something, and the face painting booth, where I recognized Cara's youngest son getting his face painted to look like a lion. There were a surprising number of kids here, both from Erudite and Amity.

Oddly enough, they seemed to enjoy meeting each other.

We split up when we got to the ride that spun people around, and Adam and I stopped to watch Rylan beg Christina to go on it. She looked incredibly resistant to the idea, mostly because she was reminding him he'd just drunk a large iced coffee on the ride over and she didn't feel like watching him get sick.

We left right as they both got on, and Christina closed her eyes and scooted far away from Rylan.

"There's Gunner. I guess I should return to my real date," Adam bumps into me on purpose as his friend waves us over to him and Pink.

I shake my head, trying hard not to laugh.

After watching Rylan take his chances on throwing up his iced coffee, Adam had ditched Gunner, both in their matching suits, and I had ditched Pink, both in our matching dresses. We'd all discovered Christian really couldn't stray from his love of black, so everyone was dressed in the darkest shade of the fabric he could find. My dress was pretty, but cold. It had long sleeves that were too sheer to be warm, a ruffly low v-neck that wasn't warm at all, and the skirt ended at my thighs. But I wasn't entirely cold while walking through the carnival, nor was I cold now.

I was cold once we finally sat down on the metal of the Ferris Wheel car, and I shivered when the guy grinned and slammed down the not-at-all-safe safety bar.

"Have fun. Stay seated during the ride and don't try to climb out." He motioned at the man working the control panel, and a second later, the car jerked back.

"Why would we try to climb out?" Adam asks, and the man shrugs.

"Don't ask me. This is what Harrison told me to say. Said it sounds official. Also, releases us from any liability since we warned you to stay in the car. If you die, it's on you. Have fun."

"Darn, I was hoping we climb back down once it got high enough…" I eye the man as he pretends not to hear me, and Adam and I wave goodbye to a waiting Gunner and Pink.

"See you at the top!" she calls out, and behind them, I can see more people arriving. I recognize a few from Candor, namely Jack, and they're all staring at the Ferris Wheel with complete disbelief on their faces. Jack keeps looking up, his eyes narrowing in confusion, as his wife pulls on his arm and points to the top.

"Should I tell him you're over here," I let go of Adam's hand to wave at Jack, but he's not even looking at me. He's shaking his head at the lights with a funny look on his face, and I have a feeling Mr. Kang will not be going on any rides this evening.

"Please, he's probably wondering where Alexander is and why he hasn't been greeted by him yet," Adam retorts, and he looks at me when the ride starts. "You good, Eva? Are you afraid of heights?

"No," I shake my head, and I scoot closer to him under the guise of getting a better view of Jack talking to Four. He's gesturing wildly, but he looks marginally impressed now, and beside him, Four still looks entirely unenthused. "I wanted to see if Jack would get on the ride."

"Doubtful."

Adam slides closer too, right as the ride picks up speed, and we're lifted into the air before I can realize that I'm right against him. It's a little awkward with the safety bar, but not really. The bar isn't all that effective, and Adam manages to kick it up so I can sit closer.

"Are you cold?"

I nod, and without any hesitation, he puts his arm around my shoulder and pulls me against him. We're both quiet as the car ascends slowly; it rises up until we've nearly reached the top, then it slows down even further to reveal quite the view.

I stare out at it, still in awe that Harrison had done this.

Up here, in the dark sky, the air is freezing. The sharp cold is mixed with the chance that we might die, but it's completely worth it. Most of the Amity faction is lit up by Harrison's carnival. The lights are every color imaginable, and they flash in time with each other. The rides are carefully arranged to create a maze to walk through, and the very edges of the faction have security. I'm surprised to see them, and it's hard to make them out, but they aren't our soldiers. They are men from Amity, and while I'm sure they're not armed, they walk the edges of the carnival like they are.

"This is so cool. So much better than that time Jack made us eat in his restaurant," I lean forward, trying to see even further. I can't take my eyes off the people or the lights, and there's a shriek when the ride starts up again. We descend much faster than we went up, and Adam laughs as the cars go around another rotation.

"I'm pretty sure that was Gunner," he snickers, and we reach the bottom. I expect the ride to stop, but it keeps going, and this time, it feels even faster.

Oddly enough, it's less terrifying at this speed. I relax back against Adam, and I feel him swallow.

"Eva?"

"Yeah?" I look up at him, mostly catching a glimpse of him looking down at me, and for some reason, I quickly look away.

The reason is pretty obvious, and it's that I'm terrified he's about to tell me last night was a mistake.

I could understand why. Even though tonight had been going just fine, I knew he wanted to tell me something. Every so often I'd catch him glancing my way, and when I looked at him, he half smiled and pointed something out as a distraction. Even Gunner had nudged him, clearing his throat and trying to subtly get him to look at me. My stomach had sunk the longer we walked along. His fingers were wound through mine, and he never let go of me, not even under the sharp stare of my father when we crossed paths by Jason and Meghan playing a shooting game against some kids from Erudite, but that didn't mean anything.

I knew what was coming.

Adam was going to end everything at some point tonight.

The idea had come to me the moment I saw him standing beside his friends. He was more dressed up than I'd ever seen him. Christian hadn't made him some generic, one size fits all suit, nor had he let Adam get away with looking just alright. He had made Adam look like what everyone knew Adam would become. He might fight it every step of the way, and he may resist every set of morals and discipline his father had instilled in him, but he couldn't deny it.

One day, he'd be expected to take over.

In Christian's fancy suit, it worked. Adam looked far different than I'd ever seen him. Older, less like the boy I sat on the roof with, kicking my feet and telling me a mumbled excuse about how he had to get home, and more like the real Adam. Someone who would go on to do great things for not only himself, but the faction. Someone strong and smart, confident in himself, and well aware of the stares he was catching.

He'd caught quite a few here, too.

Cara's daughter was a few years younger than us, but she'd watched him walk by with her eyes glued to him rather than the face painting. She stared like she was memorizing him, and she only looked away with a dirty unimpressed frown when she got to my fingers through his.

I suppose I was unimpressive. Even in the fancy dress, the too high shoes, and the twisty hair Christina had artfully created, I was still Eva. Painfully unsure of where I stood with the boy who had once been my best friend, and painfully aware that I couldn't deny I liked him. It didn't matter how expensive the dress was, or how artfully my eyeliner had been applied or that I was fun to fall asleep next to.

It wouldn't be enough.

I wasn't taking after my father and lording through the faction or turning heads because I wasn't afraid of anything, nor was I taking after my mother and having everyone fall in love with me. My father's biggest and only gripe, other than my mother refusing to wear clothes that were warm, was that everyone liked her. People who knew she was with my father, refused to acknowledge their marriage, or even didn't care, they all liked her.

Instead, I was me. Eva Coulter, whose father was too afraid to let her leave his sight, and too scared to admit what she felt for anyone. I would never live up to either of my parents, and I was pretty sure everyone had figured that out by now.

Which is why Adam's stares hurt, and each one felt like he was just gently biding his time, counting down until this dinner was over. Before we leave, he'd tell me exactly all of this. Why he and I wouldn't end up together, not ever.

He'd explain it easily, logically. Him kissing me wasn't planned, nor what he intended. He was tired, I was there, we were both lying in his bed, and it would have been easy to kiss whoever was next to him, not just me.

I was trying to prepare myself for it, because I had a feeling it was happening now, and I still had to walk back and eat dinner with everyone like I was just fine.

Maybe I should go sit in the barn.

Or by Karl's kids.

"Eva, are you happy you picked Dauntless? Or did you ever think you'd pick somewhere else?"

I look up at him in total confusion. Adam's question isn't quite what I'm expecting, and I'm thrown off completely. The ride ascends slowly this time, then comes to a stop to let someone off. In the distance, there's the low groan of the train passing by, and a whistle to alert anyone near the tracks.

"Yeah, why? You think I'm not?" I lean away to look at him, and he shrugs. "Are you happy you picked Dauntless?"

"I was just thinking about… what it would be like if things were different."

His words come out of nowhere, but not really. I'd found that Adam was just as much in his head as I was in mine, and I knew he was thinking about the train. How we'd both stood there, and he'd asked me if I wanted to jump or keep going until we reached Amity. How he probably should have leapt from the train, leaving me behind to flounder on my own.

"What do you mean?" I focus on the lights, and I realize his fingers have found my hand.

"What if we hadn't picked Dauntless? What if we had just kept going?"

His fingers push on the bone of my wrist, staying there while I try to untangle what he's saying.

"Adam, if I had said I wanted to go to Amity, would you have gone with me?" I scoot closer, wrenching the safety bar as far away as I can, and it creaks as the ride slowly rises up. "Would you have stayed with me?"

The air feels even sharper as I wait for him to answer. This wasn't at all what I thought he wanted to talk about, but here we are. Rising to the highest point in Amity, trapped in a metal cage of death. Adam looks at me, blue eyes glued to mine, and his jaw is tenser than I'd like. It takes ages for him to answer and the car climbs higher, stopping again before the top.

"Yes."

My chest tightens in a way I've never felt before, like someone has punched me so hard my bones have splintered.

"Really? You would have come to Amity?"

"Didn't you ever think about leaving? Just…going somewhere else?" Adam doesn't blink, only stares at me, so intensely I can feel his question echoing through me.

I hadn't, not really, but I know he had.

I scoot closer, my knees hitting his and I turn so I can really look at him. "I don't know what I would have done in Amity. I mean, what would you have done? You didn't even like me. Why would you have joined another faction with me?"

Adam shifts in the seat, and his shrug feels both personal and dismissive because my answer was a clear non answer. "I don't know, Eva. I don't even know what someone does in Amity. But …if you had asked me to go, I would of. I guess…if we didn't like each other in Dauntless, I was thinking maybe we'd like each other in Amity."

He stops, and there is another low shriek from below us, then a burst of giggles.

"It would have just been us. We'd…." he pauses, and he shuts his eyes until the ride jerks forward again. "We'd just be here. You and me. I'm sure your Grandpa would have been happy."

He stares at me, and when I can't say anything, because my brain is whirling with all this information, he looks away and I know he's mortified.

"You know what, forget it. It's a dumb question. It seemed like everyone was just waiting to see where you picked, hoping it was somewhere with them. You'd have no reason to want me to go anywhere with you. I just…the train made me think of it."

"I never didn't like you, Adam…"

I blurt this out painfully, like some dark secret that he probably already knows. It's the only thing I can focus on, out of everything he's said.

But he does know. I can tell. Adam shakes his head again and the car stops again, leaving us at the top of the ride once more. "You shouldn't have liked me. I was pretty shitty to you."

I let that hang there between us, sort of wincing it away. He's not wrong. I wouldn't say he was _shitty_, but he was definitely less than friendly for most of our teenage years.

"You shouldn't even like me now. I'm not that much better," Adam looks past me, out into the night. "I think you know that. I don't even know why you asked if I'd come to this dinner with you. You should have asked Nikolai."

"Nikolai?" I blink in surprise. "I'm pretty sure Nikolai's date is the reason he left Candor. They've been like, beyond close for years. Actually, I think they've been dating and Nikolai didn't know how to tell his mom."

"Really?" Adam looks hilariously confused. "I thought he liked you. He's always… like… so close."

"Yeah, because he has no interest in me at all. Like, zero. He can get as close as he wants because it's not going anywhere." I chew on my lip for a second, trying to remember what Adam had been talking about before. "Anyway, I don't think you're the same Adam. I mean, you've always been Adam, but it hasn't always been bad. I still have the bracelet you gave me. You were nice sometimes."

His lips turn up in the barest of smiles. I try to read his expression, but it's not a great one. It's uneasy, and it's not just because the ride hasn't moved in a minute.

"I don't think anyone cares where I picked, anyway. Other than my parents. I never thought about leaving but…" I pause, and I try to think if I would have been brave enough to leave with him. Could I have stayed on the train with him? Would I have ridden it all the way to Amity, to show up knowing that it would have changed everything?

Was I that brave? Or had I chosen Dauntless because I _wasn't_ brave?

"Why did you pick Dauntless then? So your dad wouldn't be disappointed?" Adam leans closer, and he reaches up to touch the sheer fabric of the sleeve of my dress. "For your mom? Your million godparents? TJ?"

"Yes, clearly for TJ. You figured me out." My answer is sarcastic and defensive, because I'm panicking, and his gaze stays on the flimsy fabric Christian clearly believed was warm enough for me to wear. "I wanted to stay in Dauntless," I answer honestly, and when he looks up, there's a flicker of disappointment on his face. "Did you want me to pick somewhere else? So you and I could go there? Was that why you stayed on the train with me?"

For a second, there is silence, then the sound of kids laughing and bright, cheery music.

"Yeah…it is. Eva, I would have gone if you wanted that." His answer is honest, so honest it's like a slap in the face. "I would have gone with you if you'd asked me."

"You wanted to live in Amity with me? Just me and…my grandpa and grandma? Oh, and my million cousins, my uncle who runs the brewery, and Zander's truck themed bedroom. I think my grandma kept it the same as it was when he left."

Adam laughs, and he bends down so he's close to me, just as close as last night. My stomach drops, like the ride has just started it's descent, but it hasn't moved.

Down below us, a dizzying fall, I can faintly hear people getting the same speech we got about staying in the car. There's a low mechanical hum to the ride, and it grows louder, or maybe that's my own heart threatening to explode at how close Adam is.

"'I'm just trying to tell you that…I wanted to tell you this the other night…but…your other uncle or godfather or cousin set off the fire alarm." He pauses, and I feel his hands on both sides of my face. They are cold, just as cold as mine, and his forehead touches mine. "I don't want to mess this up again, and I just don't know how to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

I find myself thrown off, not sure what he's trying to say. There's little eloquence to his words or my thoughts, and they mirror each other as we both try to figure this out, because five minutes ago, I was pretty convinced this was over, and I was about to spend the rest of initiation sleeping alone.

"I don't know why I couldn't just tell you. It's always been you, Eva. Not just because of some deal or because my parents thought I'd end up with you, or because you're the only one next to me. I just want you."

His lips touch mine before I can respond, before I can even register what he's really saying, delaying the inevitable dizzy rush of triumph that I had been wrong.

Adam likes me. I had been completely wrong about everything I'd been thinking this evening. He wasn't just letting me sleep next to him for old time's sake, nor was he holding my hand because he planned on crushing my soul by dessert time.

He really likes me, because his hands slip further into my hair, grasping fistfuls of the painstakingly curled pieces, and he most certainly doesn't pull away. He kisses me, softly at first, then harder, as my heart beats so fast I feel dizzy. His lips are softer than I could ever have imagined, but cold, just as cold as mine. He's everywhere as my own hands grasp onto him, finally touching his face, sliding into the soft, brown hair that I'd only dared to touch at night. There's a moment of relieved fumbling between us; a desperation to be closer, to get closer, not caring that we were in the death contraption Harrison had built, high above the ground, and lost amongst twinkling lights and the occasional flashing star.

Adam breaks away just to take a breath. He says my name against my lips, carefully, and all I can think is that I want to kiss him again.

So I do.

I don't pay attention to anything except him. How it feels to have him really against me, how daringly careful he is, until it becomes clear this isn't just some sweet first kiss. We are both patient until we're not. After a second of gently pressing his lips to mine, Adam takes my lower lip between his, and my lips part open. I can feel him against me, his chest rising and falling with each breath, and his tongue slips between my lips in one brazenly brave act.

The rush of blood to my head is intoxicating.

Right when I find myself drowning in giddiness at how good this feels –Adam and I, finally giving in to something that's been brewing for years- he breaks away to kiss my jaw. My eyes close on their own, catching a blurred glimpse of the lights and shadows, and he moves along until he's kissing the juncture of my jaw and neck, and I swear he groans my name.

"I've liked you forever. I just…couldn't bring myself to do anything about it. I kept thinking everyone would be so smug if they knew." His cheek scrapes against mine, and I can smell the hint of pinecones and other manly scents from the shaving cream and better shampoo he'd used. "Eva…"

His words are lost in my hair, but he returns to my mouth, pausing to really look at me.

"You look beautiful, Eva. Far prettier than Rachel."

His lips crash back against mine, now frantic and less gentle, and I close my eyes, so afraid this will all be a dream. That I'll open my eyes to darkness, to a cold dormitory, with a few more dark hours before training begins.

But I don't.

I open them to Adam, breaking away a fraction of an inch. His hand stays on my cheek, and his eyes are dark.

"Eva, say something."

"Adam…" All I say is his name, but I want to tell him everything. The words are right there, threatening to spill out, and tell him every single fear and uncertainty I'd ever had about the two of us. How I felt about him, how out of everyone in Dauntless, he was the only one I wanted to be close to.

How I hoped he missed me, or at least thought of me when we weren't together. How I'd wondered what he really thought, or if he'd even heard me ask such a mortifying question.

But sitting right here with him, wanting to do nothing more than kiss him again, I can't think of a single good thing to say.

"We can stay for dessert, right? You and me? Even if it's longer than forty-five minutes?"

Adam smiles, his grin wide and relieved, and his expression is one I haven't seen in ages, not even during the best moments of training.

He nods, his face lit up with nothing but pure and utter happiness.


	16. Chapter 16

Happy Friday !

I hope you all enjoy!

Thanks so much to those who reviewed the last chapter. For those who are confused over Eva and Adam's characters and if they are smart/brave/outgoing/romantic/boring/their relationship pacing/etc, please refer back to chapter one, where this is explained in the opening notes. If you don't like Adam and Eva, I'm sure you can find the story of your dreams on this site. 😉

For those who messaged me asking, I'm still not sure how long the story will be. I only had ten-twelve chapters in mind, but it'll go at least through their initiation.

Thank you to **Bamberlee** for editing! You're the best, even if you wouldn't let Four fall off the Ferris wheel.

Have a great weekend everyone!

* * *

"Are you two drunk?"

Rylan stares at me, and I realize I've somehow missed that he's wearing a tuxedo. A very formal tuxedo, though it's less formal now that he's been on every ride here, twice, and somehow managed to not get sick.

"What?" I look at him from behind a wall of candles and flowers, and he swats the blue blossoms away to get a better look at me. His head tilts, his eyes narrow, and his lips turn up as he tries to decipher if Adam and I had started celebrating this factional togetherness earlier than he had. "You really think we're drunk? My grandfather just gave us some apple juice. How do you get drunk off that?"

Rylan laughs, pacified for the moment, but he keeps staring. He looks at me, then Adam, then back at me. "You two look drunk."

"Rylan, leave them alone. No one here is drunk. They haven't even served the drinks yet. They're hours behind schedule because no one came back from the carnival on time." Christina sits down beside her husband, and she grins at us. "Did you have fun on the Ferris Wheel? Our safety bar was broken. I had to really make sure Rylan didn't fall out of the car. He kept leaning over to wave at Four."

"Lies," Rylan answers quickly, but he's still grinning. "It was like someone broke it on purpose. And it wasn't even me. Besides, I wanted to ride with Four. Christina cut the line."

Christina rolls her eyes, and I have a feeling they'd gotten into the same car Adam and I had sat in.

"Why didn't you?" Adam asks, and he leans into me. "I'm sure my father would have loved to be trapped there with you for at least twenty minutes."

"Told you," Rylan sulks, and he flags down one of the women passing around drinks, and cheerfully orders six. "Christina was like, oh no…you have to go with me. Four is going with his wife. Like, really? He lives with her. I feel like they see each other enough. I haven't seen him in a week."

"Is that because you hit him in the face with your skateboard?" I accept a drink from the woman as well, hopeful it's something other than juice, and Adam reaches for one, too.

"Maybe," Rylan mutters, but he perks up when the others begin to arrive at our table.

We'd only been sitting here for a few minutes, and all I wanted to do was find a quiet, out of the way spot with Adam, and not be surrounded by everyone we know. I had spent the rest of my ride on the Ferris Wheel in disbelief over what happened. To my surprise, Adam kissed me again, this time hard enough that my whole world blurred and I felt like I was for sure dreaming this, right before our ride was over. He broke away only when we could hear the man warning us to stay seated until we were at the very bottom, but not before he smiled, and his nose touched mine.

Once we stopped, he seemed reluctant to get off the ride, and he carefully climbed out, paying no attention to whoever was waiting to get on.

I was just as reluctant as he was.

We probably could have gone as many times as we liked, but the line was long; Abnegation had finally shown up and it seemed like everyone wanted to do as much as they could before dinner.

We had left together, my hand tightly in his, and took our time checking out a few other things. We watched Karl's kids get their faces painted, we had a shoot off with my father which we both lost, painfully, and we spent some time with Meghan, while the fortune teller told her she should start preparing for a new, unexpected arrival. She'd gone pale, and Adam had gotten her some water, and we stayed with her until Jason found us, having been with my grandfather while he showed him how he was powering the entire operation.

It all felt like a dream.

We walked through shrieking games, flashing neon lights, and bubbles. There were kids blowing bubbles everywhere, especially around the petting zoo. That was a popular spot, full of kids from every faction, having been brought along by their parents. It seemed Harrison had encouraged everyone to bring whoever they pleased, and they'd taken him up on the offer.

"Did you guys like the ride?"

I'm brought back to Earth by my mother and father arriving. They sit down on the long benches next to Rylan and Christina, down and across from us. They're quickly joined by Tris and Four, Jason and a still pale looking Meghan, Karl, Charlotte, Ethan and Evan, and to my surprise, Daniel and Camille.

"I didn't know you'd be here!"

I stand up carefully, managing to climb over the bench seating to hug my grandparents. Everyone at the table greets them happily, and they're all pleased to see them joining us, rather than the table with Cara and her family. My grandparent's presence is a total surprise, but a great one. They had shown up at quite a few of these dinners over the years, but it was never a definite they'd be there. Each faction was given a certain number of invitations, and it was up to them who they brought along.

Each one usually brought their highest ranking or most valuable members.

"I didn't think I'd see you in Amity," I hug my grandfather again, tightly, and he holds onto me as long as he can.

"We were invited by Cara as being part of the highest contributors to Erudite. Something about my line of work, and how much I've helped the faction," Daniel smiles down at me, and there's a hint of embarrassed pride in his voice. I knew he held a prestigious job, but he was never arrogant about it, not even when he should be. "We only accepted because we knew we'd see you all. We figured it would be a stuffy affair, otherwise. I guess we were wrong."

"Very wrong," my father mutters, and but only I hear him.

"Oh, will you look at that. Erudite brought a brain surgeon to dinner and we brought Rylan." Four dryly comments, and even my mother starts to laugh.

"You know, Four…" Rylan pauses, and he scoots closer to Four, reaching over and covering Four's hand with his. "It's okay to accept that we're best friends now. Years have passed since you were Dauntless' Most Wanted. I've forgiven you for what you did, and I've willingly accepted you into our circle of friends." He pauses again, and he waits until Harrison is close enough for him to hear him yell his name. "HARRISON! Four kicked one of the chickens when you weren't looking."

"Rylan, I most certainly did not kick any chickens!" Four's protest is funny enough that even Adam laughs, and I would bet he's never seen his father like this before.

At the mercy of Rylan, his pseudo best friend, still holding his hand.

"To think, I just forgave you for drinking my creamer," Harrison mutters, and he points at both of them. "Rylan, let go of your friend and Four, try not to steal anything while you're here. I know your type."

"I've never stolen anything from you," Four protests, swiping his hand away from Rylan and shoving him away from him. "Rylan, move over."

"NEVER."

"Eric, are you okay?"

I look over at my parents, my father with his eyes tightly shut, and my mother holding onto his arm as she tries to get his attention. Daniel and Camille sit down by her, and they're immediately assaulted by Evan and Ethan. They both demand to sit with them, and Camille happily pulls Ethan onto her lap while my mother tries to make sure my father isn't having a meltdown. "Eric, do you want a drink? I'll order you one."

"I'm fine. A drink won't help," he answers with absolutely no enthusiasm, and he only opens his eyes when Zander arrives. "Where the hell have you been? You're late. Very late. Actually, this whole thing is running late."

My father barks the words at him, probably feeling a flash of disappointment that one of his own from Dauntless would dare to be so noticeably late, but Zander is unfazed. He shrugs, and his expression is one of extreme annoyance.

"We missed the trucks. Candy took forever getting ready."

His date stops in surprise at his words. It takes her a second before she slowly moves to sit down next to him, and her eyes are wide with displeasure. She looks at him like she's sure she's heard him wrong, but she hasn't. "Did you just call me Candy? My name is _Mandy_."

"That's what I said," Zander shrugs, and he proceeds to slump down on the bench, only raising his stare to take a glass from the woman offering him one. "Mandy. Sorry."

His apology falls short of heart felt. He looks up at her, and his face is full of regret, like he feels bad for bringing her.

"Are you…going to introduce us?" Jason smiles at Mandy, currently shivering beside Zander and looking around like he's taken her to the wrong event. I smile at her too, noticing she's very pretty. Her hair is a lighter shade of red, and it's been curled just like mine. Her dress is a dark maroon color, and while not quite as formal as ours, it's still more formal than is appropriate for a carnival.

"I just did. This is Mandy. We met…in Dauntless."

He's met with a moment of complete silence while everyone stares at him. This was far unlike him, even if he'd brought along his worst enemy. Zander was never really mean to anyone, nor was he ever rude. But now, he looks distraught over something. His expression is as flat as his words, and when he sees me sitting there, he smiles in low, discouraged defeat.

He smiles a little more when Evan tries on Daniel's glasses, then makes a face when he can't see at all.

"Hi, it's…nice to meet you all." Mandy glances around, and it's very obvious she's the odd one out here. "I've heard nothing about any of you. I sort of know who you are. I guess."

"Oh. Really?" my mother looks confused, but she smiles anyway. "Well, I'm Everly. I'm Zander's sister. This is my husband, Eric. You might know him. His father is over there, and Camille is beside him. They have the twins, Ethan and Evan. Eric, say hello."

My father does not say hello.

"ERIC!"

"It's okay, really…" Mandy answers, still looking at Zander out of the corner of her eye. My father stares for a beat, then grunts what could pass as a forced hello before he returns to glaring at Zander. They have a silent standoff, looking at each other, and I can only assume Zander will be in some weird trouble when he gets back to Dauntless.

"Well, most importantly, I'm RYLAN, with an L."

The rest of the introductions are quick; everyone introduces themselves, and Mandy does her best to make the connections of who is with who, but her gaze lingers on Adam and I.

"And they're…?"

"My daughter."

"My son."

My father and Four answer at the same time, and Mandy looks even more confused.

"And you guys are here…together?" She tilts her head at me, then looks at Adam. "Like, you're together together. On a date?"

"Actually, my date is right there. Pink, over here!" I call her name, having spotted her and Gunner running toward the tables. They head right for us, and she and Gunner sit down in the open free space, which is next to Mandy.

"That one over there, Gunner, he's my date," Adam explains, winking at Gunner as Gunner shoots him one exaggerated, longing stare before he plops down. "Does that help?"

"No, no it does not." Mandy looks around again, and then stands up abruptly. "Zander, can I borrow your jacket? I'm freezing."

"No, I'm also cold," Zander answers quickly, and he's looking at his phone. He looks up when he realizes everyone is watching him, and he cringes when his father walks behind him with one pissed off look on his face.

"Zander, that is not how we treat our guests. I've raised you better than that," Harrison stares at him, until Zander slowly moves to take off his jacket, but he stops him before he can. "Mandy, come with me. I'll get you something to warm you up."

"Okay," she answers slowly, struggling to keep her expression neutral. She fails, and I get the feeling she doesn't like any of us very much. "Um, I'll be…right back."

"Okay!" My mother sounds cheerful, and my father watches Mandy leave with an unimpressed sneer. She wobbles away, her shoes much too high for her to walk comfortably in, especially on the dirt pathway. "Do you think she's alright?"

"She looks awfully upset," Camille answers, fixing Ethan's hair so it's more to the side.

"She hates us," Rylan announces, finishing his first drink. "Why'd you bring her? I thought you were banging some hot chick? Why didn't you bring her?"

"Eric said I had to bring someone my own age," Zander answers lowly, and he toys with the drink in front of him. "He said it had to be…an appropriate date. Mandy cut my hair once. I figured she'd be fine. I don't think she's having fun, though."

"No kidding." Four answers dryly, watching Mandy stumble away. "What makes you think that? Was it her look of disgust as she walked away or when you called her the wrong name?"

"Four," Tris elbows him, and she looks at my dad. "Eric, why does he have to bring someone his own age? What's wrong with his other date?"

"Because," my father answers quickly, and he shrugs her off. "He just does."

"Yeah, since when do you have to bring someone your own age?" Jason asks, and he looks at my father. "Wasn't Everly eighteen when you brought her? Weren't you…"

My father rolls his eyes. He interrupts Jason before he can finish asking him the questions we all know are coming. "Yes, Everly was eighteen and yes, I was training her, and yes, we were actually married and yes, Everly was absolutely thrilled about it all, yes it all worked out, so we can let that die now. I just told Zander to bring someone close to his age so he'd have a good time."

My mother tilts her head at him. Her hair is long enough that it hangs down past the table, and she narrows her eyes suspiciously.

"Didn't you have a good time with me? I wasn't your age…" My mother sounds insulted, but she's totally kidding.

"Everly, of course I did. Look, we'll talk about this later. It's about Zander, not you," he groans, and my mother relents.

"Okay, sure. As long as you had fun with me. Hey, has anyone seen Andrew? I wanted to make sure we were still on for next week. We're supposed to meet with him, and I think they want us to stay overnight. Tris, can you still go?"

"Yes! Just let me know when you want to leave," Tris agrees. "Eric, are you going?"

"I'd rather die but thank you for the offer." My father answers, downing the rest of his drink. "Fuck, what is this? Sparkling wine?"

"Your brother made it," Rylan points out, and he's rewarded with one confused sneer. "Forrest? Remember him? Everyone kept pointing out that you now had a brother by marriage, and even though I found that entirely unnecessary to acknowledge, I will admit he makes some excellent beers. Though it appears he's moved on to a more sophisticated winery business aimed at teenaged girls."

"I'll say," my father chokes down another swallow, and Adam elbows me again.

"It is gross. It tastes like…like that drink you said Rachel likes."

"I think it's good," I laugh, and it hits me that no one is paying any attention to us. At all. "Hey, we should…"

"EVA!"

Before I can suggest Adam and I split for a few minutes, even just to go find my grandma and say hello, I see someone heading right for me. It takes me too long to realize who they are; a blur of semiformal clothes, the dark night, and twinkling lights, before I realize it's Woody.

"Hey!" I nearly knock Adam over trying to get up from the bench to say hello. "Woody! How are you?!"

"Eva! Adam! I've been looking for you since I heard you were here," Woody beams, and I have to admit I've missed him. He was the only cousin who was close to me in age. He was older than me, but not by much.

He was also the very definition of what it meant to be raised in Amity. He was probably the kindest, most genuine person I'd ever met. He was never angry, never in a hurry, and never spoke a bad word about anyone. It almost pained him when anyone was mad or upset, and I had no doubt he would choose to stay in Amity. He loved working with his father more than anything, except maybe his grandpa. Harrison had a hand in raising him, but he was all Amity and nothing else. He hugs me tightly, then lets go to look over my shoulder.

"Hey…how's it going?"

To my surprise, Adam stands up, too.

I hadn't expected him to bother and greet Woody at all. They weren't exactly the best of friends, but they knew each other, even if Woody wasn't what Adam considered cool.

Really, no one had been cool enough for Adam.

His standards seem to be lessening now, because Woody is currently standing in front of us, everything that people thought of when they thought of Amity, and Adam looks happy to see him. Woody's hair is long but pulled back and the same color as his father's. He's tan and fit, his shirt isn't buttoned up all the way, and it takes me a second to realize there's someone behind him.

"I'm so glad you're both here. I was just…I wanted to introduce you to my wife, Amanda."

I blink.

Beside me, Adam makes a face of total surprise, and he quickly tries to cover it up by smiling.

"Your…wife? How old are you? I thought you were…"

"Nineteen. Amanda is eighteen. But I'm only a few months older than her, not anything crazy!" Woody reassures us, as if we'd say something about this scandalous age gap. "We wanted to invite you both to the wedding, but uh, we wound up eloping. Grandpa was the only one who knew what was going on."

"Eloping? Are you…are you done with initiation?" Adam is the only one speaking, but that's fine, because I have no clue what to say. Woody's wife is smiling at me, and she looks pretty darn happy to be with him. She's nearly the same height as him, and her hair is a pretty blonde color that matches her gold dress, and I vaguely recognize her. Very vaguely. Like I might have passed her once while walking down the pathway.

I'm also very aware that she and I are the same age.

The exact same age.

"Oh yeah, well, mine was last year. I just made the cut off. Amanda is almost done with hers. We just didn't want to wait."

"You're married!"

The shriek comes from my mother, having wandered over to say hello to her nephew. She hugs him tightly, barely coming up to his shoulders, and she stares at Amanda. "I didn't even get to meet you! Forrest is my favorite brother. He didn't even tell me Woody was married or engaged. Where is he?"

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Amanda is immediately panic stricken, and she looks at Woody, then back at my mother with total adoration. "I know all about you, though. Everyone knows about you. I've lived here forever. Um, my mom is Cindy? I'm…it wasn't a secret. We just got married a few days ago. Woody and I have been dating for a few years now. Forrest said you'd be mad there wasn't a wedding."

"Where is he?" My mother hugs Amanda quickly, then turns to look at her. "I love weddings, but this is good! I'm so happy for you both. But, really…you're really married? You look so young! Both of you! How old are you again? Aren't you…aren't you Eva's age?"

"Your mother seems to be struggling with everyone's ages this evening," Adam points out quietly, and I nod my head in agreement.

"Do you think she's realized she's not eighteen anymore?" I look up at him, and we both snicker when my mother asks Woody, again, if he's really married.

"Yeah, we just decided we didn't want to wait." Woody is beaming, and he grins when my uncle shows up, and his eyes widen with shock as realizes who Woody is talking to. "Hey, Dad! Look who I found!"

"Evangelina Coulter! Where have you been all this time! Come here!"

I'm tackled by Forrest, and Adam steps away, finally looking slightly hesitant about this family reunion. I flash back to me telling him living in Amity wouldn't have been the life of anonymity he was hoping for, and now he's seeing it firsthand.

If he thought I had a lot of people looking out for me in Dauntless, he would be surprised to find out that number paled in comparison to who I was related to in Amity.

"Hi Forrest," I hug him back, he smells like pine trees, and he refuses to let go as I try to wiggle away. "Where's Willow?"

"She's asleep," Forrest finally pulls away, and while he was my mother's favorite brother, he was probably my favorite uncle. There was far more to him than just the man who ran Amity's brewery, and I'd always thought he could have lived in Dauntless and fit in perfectly there. "No, she's not pregnant, she just has a cold. Don't look at me like that, Everly. Some of us are done having children."

"I only have one!" My mother smacks him, and she looks at Adam and I like she's just remembered we're both there. "You have five. And wait, so Woody is married, and he's just a little older than Eva and Adam…"

She pauses, and beside her, Forrest grins.

At me.

"Yep. We're just waiting to get the invitation to Eva's wedding. Zander's been keeping us updated. Everyone is really excited to go to Dauntless for it. Especially Willow. She likes going to Dauntless and she loves weddings. She said she'd help make Eva's wedding cake if you want."

"_My wedding cake_?!" I answer, out of sheer uncertainty of what to say. I can see Adam tensing up beside me, presumably cringing at the idea of anyone implying we'd get married, and my mother frantically trying to get Tris' attention without us noticing. "Um, we're not...not…even together like… my date is…over there…"

I point vaguely in the direction of Pink while I trip over these words, feeling the sheer responsibility of explaining that they might want to keep waiting. Less than an hour ago, Adam had kissed me, but that didn't mean we were engaged. If anything, it meant he liked me enough to sit through this dinner, but I have a feeling my family was about to send Adam running as if his life depended on it.

Not that any of them would know this.

"Wait, what did Zander say?" My mother whirls back around. "He didn't tell me anything!"

"Yeah, what did Zander say? Shouldn't he be focusing on his date…" Adam steps closer to me, and my soul dies, then comes back to life when he takes hold of my hand. He gently pulls me back a step, and my mother misses this entirely. "Actually, you guys catch up. Eva and I were going to go find your grandma. Mother? Uh, Eden?"

He fumbles over trying to pick the accurate word for my grandmother, but he's not wrong with any of them.

"She's over at the dessert table. She's making sure none of them have peace serum in them. Jack has expressed his concern a dozen times since arriving," Forrest answers casually. "Eden's been waiting to see you two anyway. Eva, she wanted you to try some tea she made."

"Oh good. We'll be back in time for dinner," Adam promises, tightening his grip on my hand.

"Okay! Adam, Eva, we'll see you soon! We'll sit by you if we can!" Woody waves, and Amanda nods in agreement.

"It was nice to officially meet you!"

They're the last thing I see before Adam and I head away from the tables, away from my family, away from my father, looking at me over an overly exaggerated floral arrangement while Four and Rylan argue over who really stole someone's coffee creamer, and away from Zander, sulking by himself at the table while Harrison shoves his date back at him.

Adam glances back at everyone once, and his expression is entirely unreadable.

"You still want to live in Amity?"

I wryly ask Adam as he walks us past the dessert table where my grandmother is not, over to one of the tents, the dark lettering above claiming it was a funhouse, and he walks me back inside.

"Sure, why not? We'll just start a family commune, considering this whole place is nothing but your relatives," Adam grins, and a second later, he's kissing me again.

He must not really care that Zander has told anyone anything about us, or that Forrest believes he's coming to Dauntless for our wedding, or that they all have very vocal opinions about our very private lives. His hands find my hair with practiced ease, and it's nothing like the first time. There is no bar, no tiny, swaying car of death, and no one yelling to let them off the ride.

In fact, this attraction is closed.

There's only Adam, kissing me slowly, until I'm the one who's biting at his lips and all I can feel is him grinning. I hear him sigh my name again, his nose somewhere in my hair, and my brain can't even begin to process how this feels. How strong he feels against me, how his hands are now familiar as they work to pull me closer, and how he pulls us further into the dark tent, unwilling to break away from me.

I would have thought all of this would make him flee.

But he might like me enough that it doesn't matter what anyone says. He stays here, hiding out in this fun house, with his lips against mine. Time passes quickly, and I swear its mere seconds before I hear Jason yelling for us, and I'm forced to break away from Adam. Both of our cheeks are red, and it takes a second to slow my breathing down. Adam does his best to fix my hair, smoothing down the sections he's been holding onto, and his smile is apologetic.

"Sorry Eva. I guess if anyone asks where you were, just tell them you were in the petting zoo."

I smile up at him, rising up to kiss him once more, and I break away just as Jason yells our names again.

"Are you ready for the real fun?"

Adam shakes his head, and the two of us leave the fun house together, pretending we've been looking for Jason just as long as he's been looking for us.

* * *

The real fun begins approximately ten minutes into the dinner.

I am halfway through the decent tasting meal when my grandmother sits down next to me, looking prettier and happier than ever. Her dress is pretty and warm, and I notice it has sleeves. She watches me eat my dinner for a moment, then smiles.

Brightly.

"Are you really engaged? That's what I heard."

I pause with my fork halfway to my mouth, and a whole one foot away, Adam pretends he can't hear her.

"It's not my business, but I think you're too young to get married. Not right now. Your mother was dying to get out of Amity. When I heard she'd married your father, I wasn't the least bit surprised. But you don't seem like you want to get married, at least not yet."

I swallow down the chicken I was eating, wondering if it was the one Rylan had been glaring at, or how they even picked which chicken met its fateful destiny as dinner, and I shake my head.

"I'm not engaged. Who told you that? Was it really Zander?" I half whisper the words at her, because Adam is right next to me, patiently listening to Woody talk about opening up a bar at the edge of Amity called BeerLand. He stresses that it's not his idea, and he thinks the name is aggressive, but he would help with anything anyone asked of him. Adam nods, and he seems mildly interested, probably because it won out over talking to his parents. "Grandma, tell me! Was it my mom?"

My grandmother isn't bothered that I'm half whispering, half hissing the words at her. She looks at me carefully, then she reaches over to touch my hair that Christina had curled. "I just heard it. I think from Forrest and he heard it from Zander. He said everyone has been waiting for you and Adam to wind up together. Everyone in Dauntless, that is. There are a few boys who were thinking you'd eventually find your way here. A few were looking for you tonight. I know one was thinking he'd see if you'd want to stay for a while. Maybe, maybe you'd change your mind and come here when your initiation is over."

When she finishes, Adam turns around.

His stare is funny; visibly jealous over the idea that someone from Amity would be looking for me in hopes that I'd ditch my initiation and run back here, and amused, probably at the very same idea.

Too bad I have zero idea who these boys are, and why now, after all this time, they've decided to be interested in where I live.

The chicken sticks in my throat, and I reach for the sparkling wine to drink. "I can't leave. I picked Dauntless. But I'm not engaged. I think everyone assumes that because Adam and I grew up together."

"I've heard." She scoots closer, nudging me with her knee. "Eat your vegetables, Eva. Your grandfather grew them."

"Have you ever been to Dauntless?" I ask her, stabbing the carrots with a heavy fork that was most definitely only being used for this dinner. "Oh wait, yes you have. You've come for the parties."

"Plenty of times. Your grandpa and I have been to visit for other reasons. It's not my favorite place, but I'm glad I got to see it. It's a little dark for my liking. When your mother chose Dauntless, my first thought was how on Earth is she going to last there. She'd spent most of her life outside."

I smile back, and I hear Woody telling Adam he could most definitely have free beer if he came by.

"He's very handsome."

"Who?" I stare at her, but I know who she's talking about.

"The boy who isn't your fiancé. He kept looking at you while they were serving the dinner." She glances at Adam, taking in his posture, the grin when Woody gestures wildly about something, and his fancy shoes, covered in dirt. "He's the weird one's son, correct?"

"Four," I look at him, down a few seats, deep in discussion with Jason, Rylan, and my father. "Yeah, that's his dad."

"Strange fellow. I've met him a few times. He always looked so confused about everything. I remember the first time he ever saw you, he kept saying how much you looked like your mother." My grandmother lets go of my hair, and she frowns when Zander walks by with a plate of brownies. "Zander, where's your date? Are you paying attention to her? Your father said…."

"Yes, Mom, I am. She's just…she's not happy at all. I told her we were going as friends and she took it the wrong way." Zander sighs, and he somehow wedges himself into the empty space between Adam and I, flopping down like he owns the place and knocking Adam out of the way. "I didn't mean to be rude, really. I just…I wanted to bring someone else and when I asked her, she told me no, and Eric said I had to bring a date. So I did, and it's been a shitty evening all the way around. Trust me, I don't feel great about it. I thought maybe a brownie would cheer her up."

"Oh Zander," my grandmother frowns, and she shakes her head. "Why did she turn you down? I don't know of any girl who's ever said no to you."

"Me either," Zander miserably agrees, and he stands up abruptly. "I didn't really know what to do. Maybe it's not gonna work out. Anyway, I'm gonna go see if Mandy wants anything. I'll be back."

"Bye, Zander." I watch him leave, and it suddenly hits me out of nowhere. I know who he's dating. I watch him slink through the tables, weaving his way between a few guests standing, including Nikolai and his mother, and Nikolai winks when Zander passes them.

He looks at me, mouthing a single syllable word, and the chicken threatens to come right back up.

* * *

"Who do you think he's dating?"

Adam stares at me, and his expression is as horrified as mine. I'd managed to downplay it during the dinner, continuing to listen to my grandma talk, and fending off questions about whether or not I was engaged. After I angrily told her five doors down neighbor that I most definitely was not getting married, my father rescued me, and had me walk with him to see the petting zoo.

He didn't say much.

I was very grateful for his silence, and he seemed to know I needed a break from anyone and everyone around me, all continuing to pry into my personal life like it was theirs to be involved in.

My father was totally silent as we stood there, and he busied himself by aimlessly petting one of the horses while I stood there, shooing a goat away when it tried to eat the bottom of my dress.

Every so often he'd glance at me with a pained expression on his face, and I had the sinking feeling he knew who Zander was dating, too.

Eventually, my mother came to find us, and she announced they were serving dessert and our presence was requested. My father looked at me to tell him I wanted to stay here, like maybe no one would notice if we spent the rest of our evening surrounded by bunnies and potbellied pigs, but I nodded in agreement, having had my fill of animals neighing around me.

I took my seat beside Adam, and the look on his face told me he'd faced the same inquisition I had, except it appeared to be from Jason and Meghan.

"I think it's…it's…"

I can't bring myself to say it.

If I'm wrong, then I'll feel like a total ass for thinking such a thing. If I'm right, then the girl who's been my friend for years has been dating my uncle behind my back.

"Kat."

Adam says it for me, scooting over so Jason can make room for Meghan to stand up. She looks a little woozy, and I wonder if she's come down with the chicken flu Rylan had been warning everyone about since we got here. Adam scoots over even further when she sits back down, and he bumps into me.

Carefully.

He's suddenly very cautious about the way he's touching me, and I know why.

Because word had spread quickly that my family in Amity was expecting an engagement announcement, and my family in Dauntless was suddenly watching like Adam and I were on the top of their security list. Daniel and Camille were suddenly looking at me like they'd never seen me before, and I had the feeling they were imagining watching their only grandchild walk down the aisle. Tris kept glancing at me, pretending to be fascinated by the flowers, but they weren't quite as interesting as Adam and me.

Rylan nearly spilled his drink over when Adam's arm elbowed mine, and Christina grinned when he turned to smile for literally two seconds in apology. Rylan and Christina both looked at me, and their expressions told me they'd seen enough.

But it's not just them.

I can feel every single person at the table staring at me, especially my father and Adam's.

They watch as I eat a bite of the ice cream my grandmother had given me, and I wave, hoping they'll look away.

They don't.

They do share this funny look on their faces, and ironically, it's identical. It's not anger or panic, or even annoyance, that their children have become the subject of tonight's dinner, but something else entirely. It's not a look I've seen before, so I don't try to figure it out.

Whatever it is, it's very fatherly.

"Hey, Meghan are you okay?"

Two seats down, Jason looks nervous, and Adam turns his attention to them. I feel him recoil when Jason asks Meghan again how she's feeling, but I don't hear her answer.

"Eva, hi." My mother squeezes in between me and Pink, and she leans back, seated the wrong way. She's wearing my father's jacket, but she still looks freezing. "How are you?"

"I'm fine. Still definitely _not_ engaged, so if you could start that rumor instead, that would be great," I smile around my ice cream, knowing that's why she's over here. I can see it in the way her face falls for a moment, just a flash of pure disappointment that Adam hadn't chosen to propose amongst the squawking chickens and wandering goats, based solely off the fact that we'd grown up together. "Adam's right next to me if you want to talk to him."

"I know where he is," my mother grins, and I suddenly regret sitting here. "I just…I know what it's like to have everyone talking about you. It happened for years. So don't listen to them, and don't worry. They'll eventually talk about something else."

"In a few years? Or in eighteen years? Because they were still talking about it tonight." I look at her, taking in her casual posture and the way she's also glaring at Zander, leading his date back toward his parent's house, and she smiles. It's obvious she's not even listening to me, because her grin is miles away, and she tilts her head when Zander and Mandy stop to grab a cupcake off the table, and they both pick ones frosted with extra frosting. "Mom. Mom. MOM."

"I'm glad you guys are here and we got to spend this time together."

Her answer is sweet and light and entirely comical. Even Adam has noticed she isn't paying attention, and I realize she's only come over here to spy on her little brother. Zander knows this, too. He mockingly stares back at her, then makes a face when Mandy turns around.

"Are you even listening to me?" I glare at her, and Adam laughs. He elbows me again and turns to lean behind me.

"Actually, Mrs. Coulter, Eva and I _are _engaged. We just didn't want to ruin the night with such boring news. If things really pick up between us, maybe we'll just get married tonight. Maybe in front of the haunted house. Your dad can officiate, right?"

Adam's words come out of nowhere. They make me both laugh and choke on my ice cream, because he's said them so matter of factly that there's almost no sarcasm in them. He's completely joking, something unlike him in every way, but that's what makes it even better. Even Woody is grinning, trying not to snicker when Adam waits for her to answer him.

"It was probably a hard decision, I know. These things can be boring," my mother looks at me, then Adam, and she shrugs. "But it's nice to get out of Dauntless for the evening, right? What did you say Adam? You're looking for my dad? He's over there."

"He's not. The moment passed, but thanks," I finish my ice cream, and I shake my head. She's not at all paying attention to anything but Zander, and I think maybe I'm wrong about everything.

Zander takes hold of Mandy's hand, and he looks right at her. They talk for a few minutes, and finally, Mandy smiles one giant smile. She looks at him for a second before they head inside to escape the cold, and neither of them return.

We all watch, the entire table, and it bursts into low conversation while everyone guesses what's going on.

"Shit, maybe he's not dating Kat. Maybe…maybe he's really into Mandy."

Adam is the one to say it, and we both wait for them to come back out.

But they don't.

Not even when my grandfather stands up, officially welcoming everyone to Amity and reminding them to leave when the event is over. Not even when my father stands up, greeting everyone and assuring them all security threats were quiet and thanking Harrison for hosting this evening.

Not even when Adam's own father tries to get his attention, smiling in a very friendly way, even when Adam looks away, because Rylan, despite having all the candles moved away from him, somehow manages to catch his bow tie on fire, along with the floral arrangement.

Not even when Meghan suddenly turns pale, gags a few times on her own ice cream, then throws up right next to Adam.

He turns to look at me, his eyebrows both raised, and the look on his face tells me that even though he kissed me, Adam Eaton most definitely regretted coming to Amity.

* * *

"You definitely lose some minutes for the vomit. At least twenty."

Adam looks at me, and his lips turn up just a bit.

"Well, at least it was only one person this year." I pause, lagging behind Adam while we squeeze past a line of people trying to get into the mirror maze, and he stops to let me catch up. "So, did you have…fun? Even though it was more than forty-five minutes."

Adam looks down at my question, and to his credit, he's not scowling or trying to hightail it back to Dauntless on foot.

I had thought for sure he'd split the minute he could.

The dinner was everything he hated: our families, doing their best to subtly figure out what was going on between us, Rylan, once again revealing his pyromaniac side and unending love for the Eaton family, Four, looking a bit discouraged that Adam wasn't sitting anywhere near them and still irritated that Harrison thought he kicked his chickens, Tris, having one drink and looking a little tipsy, Camille holding both the twins, my father glaring at everyone, Harrison, glaring at everyone, someone throwing up, and finally, the piece de resistance, the entire Amity faction thinking Adam and I were engaged, thanks to my uncle and our official Dauntless trainer.

I was shocked Adam hadn't walked back to Dauntless by now.

But he seemed to be taking it in stride.

We're walking through the rows of tents together, having snuck away after Meghan got sick. My grandmother was fast, even faster than Daniel, and she was right by her side before anyone else. Once they were sure Meghan was okay, she and Jason took her inside. Everyone around us seemed panicked, thinking maybe it was the food or something she'd eaten, and Rylan was very vocal that he was convinced it was an epidemic unleashed by Harrison to slowly take control over all the factions. Normally, someone would humor him and let him continue with this paranoid theory, but everyone was too worried about Meghan.

Harrison had smacked Rylan on the back of his head, then taken him, my father, Adam's father, and Karl for a stroll through a dark part of the faction. We used this opportunity to return to the makeshift carnival, and a few steps in, Adam had reached for my hand.

My insides tightened as his fingers slid through mine, because I was pretty sure he was regretting even coming here. He might have kissed me, but he was probably not in this for the extended family of no one's dreams.

"I did have fun. I expected nothing less of this dinner, actually. It exceeded all my expectations," Adam glances down at me out of the corner of his eye. "You?"

"Oh yeah, tons. My cousin who's like, five months older than me is married. A goat ate the bottom part of my skirt, everyone thinks we're engaged because Zander started that rumor, my mother is the faction's second worst spy, our fathers are currently trampling through some dark woods right now with my grandpa, Rylan managed to catch two things on fire, and Meghan threw up by you. I'd consider this a total success. Just another Leadership Dinner on the books for us."

Adam lets out a huff of laughter at my answer, and his fingers tighten on mine.

"I warned you. We could have just eaten with Quinten. I bet only half that stuff would have happened. Quinten probably wouldn't care who you're engaged to. Or maybe he would…"

His words are lost in the swarm of people walking by. The dinner was officially over, but Harrison had given everyone until midnight to hang out and enjoy what he'd built. Even though the dinner portion of the evening had been chaotic, I still didn't want to leave, and I especially didn't want Adam to let go of my hand.

We didn't have much longer though.

"Hey, did you have fun…earlier? Or…." Adam asks. His question is very even, and not at all as casual as he's thinking it sounds. I nod as I look up at him, and I know exactly what he's talking about.

He means on the Ferris Wheel, where we most definitely kissed more than once.

"Adam, what happens now?" I ask, and we stop in front of the haunted house. He looks at me for a second, and I tighten my hold on his hand, not wanting him to let go. "When we go back to Dauntless? Are things…do they stay the same? Or are things different now?"

"What do you mean?" Adam stares, and behind us, someone shrieks in horror at whatever is in the haunted house. "We have initiation. Are you talking about that, Eva? Or because you threw yourself at me on the ride?"

I stare at him for a solid thirty seconds, and I feel the same echo of horror as the person inside getting the living daylights scared out of them.

Adam smirks at my horrified expression, and his laugh is drowned out by someone yelling for their mom.

"I'm totally kidding. Things are…I don't know." Adam pauses, and he steps closer, until he's right in front of me. Behind us, the dark panels are painted to display some sort of eerie house, and the opening is a giant mouth with black streamers hanging down. "I like you Eva and I can only hope you feel the same. And if you don't, and you want to see if you can sway Nikolai over to this side, I completely understand."

"Adam," I can't help but laugh as I say his name, and his hands are on my face. "Forget Nikolai. What about Gunner? Who's going to tell him?"

"He'll figure it out eventually." Adam bends down, and I rise up so I can loop my arms around his neck. "He's a smart guy."

I smile, but my heart beats so painfully it hurts. I hold onto him tightly, and he walks us back a few steps, to the end of the line, then stops. "Adam….just don't…don't change your mind, okay. I mean, I know things happen, but promise me you won't. Just…it can be you and me, okay? Initiation won't last forever."

My words are lost in the screams and giggles, and the crackle of fake lightening. Adam nods, and before he can kiss me, someone tells us it's our turn.

"Wanna go on this, Eva? You and me?"

He looks at me, and my chest hurts so much that I wonder if it's possible I might be dying. I've never had anyone look at me the way he is, his full attention right on me and only me, and his eyes bright and warm and all too insistent that I venture into this attraction with him.

In this moment, I think that maybe, just maybe, Adam might be the only person in this faction who would ever miss me the same way my father missed my mother.

"Yes."

* * *

Exactly one minute after midnight, the spell is broken.

Having conquered the not so scary haunted house, we head back to the main pathway to find our families, only so we can return to Dauntless. Adam and I walk slowly, and I can only assume that neither of us is wanting the night to end. While we have tomorrow off, after that, our training is back full force. We both knew Zander would have a renewed energy, we still had so much to complete that it felt almost impossible, but most of all, the magic of this night would have fizzled as we were back to sleeping in tiny bunks and blearily waking up at an ungodly hour.

I forget about all of this, when I realize the Dauntless soldiers are lining the entrance to Amity.

But they aren't just standing there.

They are waiting with their weapons drawn, and their dark uniforms and heavy rifles are quite the reality check to the whirling, colorful carnival behind us. Everything slowly winds down as we get closer to them; the lights slowly dim, the rides power down one by one, and the music comes to a slow lull, then stops completely.

"What's going on?"

Adam lets go of my hand only because we are separated by soldiers jogging up the path. None of them look at us, but they seem large and intimidating, and they stop right in front of my father.

"Perimeter secured, Sir. We still advise a further check to the north most entryway." One of the men speaks, and his eyes are alive as he turns to point toward the woods. "All men are accounted for, including the factionless we've brought in."

"Dad?"

I call out his name, and he turns slowly, blinking at the sight of us before him.

His eyes narrow like he's just discovered he's standing not in front of the soldiers, but everyone. It's not just Adam and I. Pink and Gunner are here, Zander and Mandy, Jason and Rylan, Four and Tris, Christina, standing with Karl and his family, holding Ethan while Evan yells for Karl to pick him up, both sets of my grandparents, dozens from Amity, and Harrison, standing right next to him. Cara and her husband, their kids clutching onto their mother's dress, Jack Kang, looking alive and excited at the prospect of something going on, Adam's grandmother and grandfather, looking upset as they stand slightly off to the side with my mother, and Nikolai and his date.

"Eva, you and Adam are to return to Dauntless. You'll both go home with Zander. Pink and Gunner, you too." He speaks carefully, his stare sliding over us, then lingering on me for a moment. "Go to the apartment. Promise me you'll stay inside. None of you are to leave Dauntless for any reason. Training is officially on hold through tomorrow."

"Wait, what's going on? Why would we leave?" Pink steps closer to me, and her hair is completely messed up from the night. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," Harrison answers, and there's a gleam in his eye. "Or at least, it will be. Head home, kids. Thanks for coming. That goes for all of you. Get out. Take your trash with you."

There is a low murmur as he leaves my father's side and heads right toward us. To the surprise of my friends, he hugs Pink and Gunner vigorously, then moves to Adam and me. He hugs Adam first, roughly. The action isn't at all awkward on Harrison's part, and Adam mostly hugs him back, but he looks at him in complete confusion.

When Harrison gets to me, the look on his face makes me smile.

There's something going on, but it seems like he's not that mad over it.

"I love you, Eva. Go get some sleep. I'll come visit you soon." He crushes me against him, just like my father does, and he holds me there for a whole minute. His shirt is warm and soft, and completely unlike the coarse fabric of my father's jackets.

"I love you, too."

He kisses the top of my head, and in the distance, there's the distinct shouting that someone else had been captured.

"Alright, let's head out."

Harrison breaks away from me when Four speaks, throwing me one more final smile, and behind us, the shouting increases. I don't get to figure out what's going on, because Zander catches my elbow, and before I can blink, I'm climbing into the oversized Dauntless trucks with Adam.

I half expect Zander to fill us in on what's going on, but he's silent, only occasionally saying something to Mandy, still shivering beside him.

* * *

I listen to my father.

Not that I want to walk all the way back downstairs, to a cold bed and the sound of someone crying all night long soothing me to sleep but coming back home feels a little bit lame.

Especially after tonight.

I was almost immediately disappointingly separated from Adam; Pink and Gunner took off with him, and Zander held me back, asking me if I had heard my father while telling the rest of them to go downstairs. I nodded, knowing that if I didn't, I'd never hear the end of it. So I walked home, alone, and I swiped my father's keycard and walked into a dark apartment.

Zander told me he and my mother would stay in Amity tonight, and so would Tris and Four. Jason and Rylan would probably return, and Nikolai's mother was already back. I wasn't told exactly what was going on, but I put the bare gist of it together: they had found someone in the woods, and it wasn't a good thing. I would assume it was the factionless, but this seemed different. It was like they were waiting for a particular person, and I wasn't so sure this manhunt was just nothing.

But I wasn't invited along, so I slunk through the apartment, into my old bedroom.

I flick the lights on, and I'm rewarded with the mess from getting ready. I halfheartedly pick up the extra dresses off my bed, and I kick the high shoes off. I push everything to the side, having no real desire to clean up, and I only stop shoving things out of the way when I decide I might as well go to bed.

I search for pajamas amidst the chaos, and I get as far as finding a shirt. I try to unzip the back of my dress, but I fail, struggling to grasp the zipper at this awkward angle. I'm resigned to sleeping in the dress, or calling Zander, but before I can stoop that low, I swear I hear a thud. I freeze when there's a knock on the door, and my guess is it's either Jason or Rylan. It's nearly one now, and while Dauntless never slept, it was unlikely to be one of my friends.

The knocking continues as I head toward the living room, oddly impatient for the late hour.

"Hold on!" I call out, quickly walking past the couch, to the entryway door. "I was trying to find some-"

I throw the door open, fully prepared to see Rylan grinning at me or Jason coming to tell me to go to bed, but it's not them.

"Pants?"

It's Adam, looking at my bare legs, my dress askew, and my messed up hair

"What are you doing here?" I blurt out before I can compose myself. I'd watched him walk away with Pink and Gunner, and I'd assumed he went downstairs.

"Well, my father and your father said to go home. They just didn't say _which _home."

Adam smiles, the same way he did back in Amity, and I open the door wider to let him in.


	17. Chapter 17

_Thanks to much to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter!_

Just a heads up! I am heading out of town this Sunday for Thanksgiving, and will be gone the entire week. I will still try to update on Friday. We're in Disney long enough that I should have some down time, but if not, I'll update it Sunday when I'm back home.

In regards to the two chapters vs one, I only updated one because these past few chapters were longer, making them the same length as two chapters . I don't know if Amber has time to edit forty+ pages a week, so I went back to one chapter so she had time to edit. I'm trying to keep these shorter than The Initiation, but there are a few coming up that will be posted together, along with some outtakes.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

* * *

Adam steps through the doorway and doesn't hesitate to walk right past me. He pauses only to glance down at me, and a small smile plays on his lips. "Hi Eva."

"Are you okay, Adam? Did you go home? Are you staying? Do you want to watch a movie?"

I ask him all of these questions while I stand there, wondering what exactly Adam wanted. My brain conjures up a few more salacious scenarios, but the reality is, Adam is most likely here to make sure I'd actually gone home, just like he was supposed to be doing.

Whatever his reasoning was, it didn't look like he was going to sleep anytime soon.

"Adam?

"Sure, we can watch a movie," he answers casually, continuing past me, past the living room, and toward the hallway. I don't think he's gone home at all. His suit jacket is undone, but other than that, he looks exactly the same as he did in Amity. I watch him keep going, stopping only when he gets to my open bedroom door, then turns to look at me in mock surprise. "What happened in here? A code Rylan?"

His words make me smile.

"That's where we all got ready," I close the front door behind me, laughing because I know it's still a mess. "I figured I'd pick it up tomorrow."

"Looks…interesting."

With that, he heads into my bedroom, where I most definitely do not have a TV screen or the required equipment to watch a movie, and I wonder if he knows something I don't.

"Did you hear from anyone? Your mom or…? Adam?" I lock the front door, and for a second, I hesitate. There was always a chance my parents would come home, but there was an even better chance they wouldn't.

I was hesitating for both those reasons.

"Jason," Adam yells back, and I find him looking over at me from my dresser. He picks up the picture of Rylan and stares at it. "He called me a few minutes ago. They're all staying in Amity except for Rylan. No one trusted him to stay or not burn the place down, so he'll be back eventually. Eva, how do you sleep with Rylan staring at you all night? Aren't you afraid to fall asleep with this so close to your bed?"

"No," I smile, watching him examine the picture like it'll come to life. "It's just a picture. I don't think his soul is trapped in it or anything. At least I don't think it is."

"I wouldn't put it past him," Adam answers, and he very carefully sets the picture face down on the top of the dresser and looks at me out of the corner of his eye.

He's not at all bothered that we were all sent back here while our parents stayed in Amity. In fact, he's got a slick smile on face, like he's well aware that hours ago, we'd been kissing atop a Ferris wheel and now he's standing in my bedroom. I like this Adam, the one with the dry sense of humor and the one grinning at me over Rylan's picture, but I still have a nagging feeling something is up.

"Your mom and dad are staying with your grandparents, my parents are staying, Karl will be back in the morning, but Rylan and Christina should be back soon. Or not, depending on how fast they drive and if Rylan chooses to drive them back here at all. He was said it was too dark to see anything."

"He likes to take the scenic route. He said it's a more interesting drive. Makes sense that he would use that as an attempt to stay," I grin, watching him examine a few other things on my dresser.

Adam picks up a few hair ties, a necklace my mom gave me for my birthday, a note from my dad from two years ago that I'd saved –his oddly perfect handwriting warning me not to die while he was out of the faction on business or I'd be in trouble, and the bracelet Adam had given me. It had been up there for a while, neatly placed next to the necklace with the letter E on it, and I had contemplated bringing it with me to initiation.

I hadn't.

Just in case.

"Um, Adam I don't have a TV in here…"

"I know."

He turns to look at me, and his face is completely serious. It's not the smirky Adam from before, or even the one from the Ferris wheel.

It's one I haven't seen before.

"Okay, well as long as we both know that," I stare at him, and I figure I might as well change out of my dress and into something that isn't formal wear. "Since you're staying, you should take your jacket off and I'll find a movie we can watch. I'm sure there's something here. Maybe something you haven't seen."

"Are you asking me to undress, Eva?" Adam is watching me, and I freeze, having been busy fumbling with the zipper again. It's just outside of my grasp, even as I wrench my shoulder to try and get a hold of it.

"Only partially," I grin, and I swear in exasperation that the zipper is just far enough way that I can't get it. "Fuck. Actually, can you help me? I can't unzip this. I don't know how Christian thought I'd take it off."

"Good question," Adam nods, walking toward me without any hesitation. "By the way, Gunner and Pink said to tell you goodnight. They both had fun. I think they drank more of the wine than anyone else. They tripped down the stairs together, but I think they'll live."

His eyes meet mine in the mirror when he stops behind me. He knocks my hands away to find the invisible zipper Christian had sewn in, and I stay perfectly still as he reaches for it. He unzips the back of the dress while staring at me, and his eyes are dark.

Very dark.

"There you go."

"Um, thank you." The words stay in my throat, and I have to admit, it's hard to speak when he's looking at me like this. Warm and intense, his eyes slipping over the dress, down to my fingers. "I should get…a shirt or something."

I stall, because really, I don't want to. It feels unfair to be taking off such pretty fabric for one of my father's old shirts, and the idea is very unappealing.

But I don't get that far.

I turn around to look up at Adam, ready to tell him to go pick out something for us to watch, when he very slowly slides his jacket off.

"Eva…. I meant what I said back there. I would have gone with you." He speaks slowly, keeping his eyes on me as he tosses his jacket onto the pile of discarded dresses Christian had made. My brain, heavy with a blooming sleepiness, a dose of worry, and a rousing wave of anticipation, is slow to realize he's not leaving, and he's certainly not planning on watching a movie and despite not speaking to me for years, suddenly wants to make sure he's very clear about his feelings.

It's a lot to comprehend all at once.

"If that's what you wanted. I just want to make sure you understand what I'm saying. I know what I said before, but…I don't know. I just need you to know." Adam says the last part clearly, and he doesn't move his stare from mine.

He was making sure I knew he was all in, and if I had any doubts from before, they should be gone now.

"Were you hoping we'd leave?"

I step closer to him, and I reach my hands out without thinking. He's not exactly mine to touch, but that doesn't stop me. My fingers find the first button on his dress shirt, and I undo it before my mind can remind me that when my father said I should go home, he probably meant alone.

Though really, if anyone were to be in my bedroom, Adam was probably the only one he'd not lose his shit over.

Not entirely.

Well, probably.

"Yes."

His hands touch my shoulder, sliding the now loose fabric down, and I faintly register that his touch isn't at all unfamiliar. I've spent a few nights with him like this, his fingers seeking out any bare skin he can find, with the same unhurried pace. He'd been silently letting me know how he felt all this time, not just that he was happy I was sleeping beside him.

"Woody seems very nice. He'd probably hire me to work at the bar he's building. Slinging beer to the already drunk members of Amity might be fun," Adam thinks out loud, smirking at the very thought of working with my cousin.

I let out a huff of laughter, both at the idea of working there, and because Adam pushes the shoulder of the dress down. It doesn't work like he's planning, but he's undeterred.

"I hear Forrest is a fun guy to work for. Harrison, too. If he likes you." Adam pauses, and my fingers hover over the second button. For someone who's never undressed anyone before, I certainly want to take his shirt off. I'm not sure where the urge comes from, but I like it. I keep going, sliding the black buttons through the black fabric, until he can shrug it off. "Eva…"

"Are you staying here tonight? You said they won't be back, so we could just stay here…since we were told to go home."

I look up at him, and I sound awfully brave for someone who doesn't own this apartment, and awfully brave considering my parent's bedroom is not that far from here. They aren't here, and it's unlikely they'd return suddenly if they'd agreed to stay with my grandpa and grandma, but this has an entirely different feel to it than sleeping beside him during the lonely nights of our initiation.

"You can if you want. You said they won't be back…" I stop talking when he slides the dress shirt off, and it joins his jacket in the pile of discarded clothing.

"You do owe me, you know," Adam answers, and his eyes are stuck on mine. "For the dinner with your mom. I haven't forgotten just because you kissed me."

He grins, but his smile doesn't stop my heart from skipping a beat. I hadn't forgotten he'd come along on Visiting Day only because I'd made this deal with him. I'd pleaded for him to join us, thinking that if he saw his mom, maybe enough time would have passed that he'd be over their disagreement or whatever had made him not want to speak to them. He had hugged her goodbye, but that didn't mean the dinner had smoothed everything over.

"Did you talk to her in Amity?" I step even closer, and he fills the space around me. I have to look up to really look at him, and he's so close I can feel every breath he takes.

"Yeah, just for a second. You went with your dad somewhere and mine went with Karl to get a drink. She kept asking me what was going on and if she'd missed something. I told her things were good, and that you and I were good but that wasn't enough. She was like, I'm missing something here." Adam pauses, and I nod in understanding. It was what he'd talked about before, his parents meddling in his business when he didn't want them to. "She didn't miss anything. There wasn't any big moment to miss. It's just…it's always been you, and she's so busy waiting to see it happen that she's not seeing anything else."

"What if it goes wrong?"

I blurt this out without thinking, or even really wanting to say it. Of course, it could go wrong. Adam and I could keep going; I could take his pants off, too, and he could discover that I wasn't as experienced as someone else would be, and we could part ways in mutual embarrassment over this fact. Or he could find that once he and I did end up together, maybe it wouldn't be what he wanted. Maybe I'd be too annoying or clingy, or maybe he wouldn't want to sleep next to me every night, or he'd find me utterly dull.

Maybe I wouldn't like him.

Maybe he'd be the person who squeezed the toothpaste out the wrong way, or he'd drive me nuts when he got sick or maybe he'd be the clingy one.

"I don't think it will. Even if it does, isn't that better than never finding out?" Adam makes a good point, and he furthers his point by pulling me toward him, closer, until he's sitting on my bed and I'm between his legs. He leans back slightly, enough to look at me, and I look right back at him.

There is a moment when something passes between us, warm and buzzy and very familiar.

A feeling that's always been there, even when we both pretended it wasn't.

"Then stay."

I step even closer, my hands looping around his neck, and his hands find my waist. His lips turn up then, smug and happy and all too appealing, and I have a feeling I won't be going to bed any time soon.

* * *

I'm right.

By the time the clock next to my bed reads two am, my eyes are closed.

But not because I'm sleeping.

Far from it.

"What about the time you pretended you couldn't see me, even though I was assigned to be your lab partner?"

I mumble this mostly into the air, because Adam's mouth is on my neck and one of my hands is in his hair. I feel every press of his lips, warm and insistent, and it's hard to think entirely coherent thoughts. I'm blessed with my mind wanting the answer to this thought, and I figure I might as well ask.

Things seemed different now.

Especially since his pants were off.

"You looked really pretty that day. I didn't want to be your partner because I'd be close to you." He says these words while his fingers make their way up my side, digging into skin warmed by him. "I know that seems stupid, but it was hard to be around you. It gave everyone a reason to talk."

His logic is confusing and immature and completely stupid, but I understand it.

It was the same way I had been constantly asked about him, the same way Pink would giggle or smile when he walked by, glancing back at me in an exaggerated manner to see if I saw him. The same way Kat decided she thought he was hot and proceeded to tell me every single second she could, knowing that even if I didn't like him, the idea was still there.

The same way my mother and his mother thought us being together would be cute, then became so hyper fixated on the idea, that the novelty had worn off by the time I was old enough to understand how I felt.

Adam had been right with wanting to know if this was real or simply the product of everyone suggesting we end up together. There was a chance this was fabricated purely by suggestion, and it wouldn't be real. My feelings for him could prove to be nothing more than a carefully concocted scheme from my parents, and it would hurt to know that was the truth. I didn't like second guessing myself, especially when it came to Adam.

So, while I wasn't sure how it would turn out, so far, I was enjoying finding out tremendously.

Adam hadn't wasted any time once I asked him to stay. My brain confidently reassured me no one would return. My mother loved seeing her parents more than anything, my father loved my mother being happy, and returning to Dauntless in the middle of the night was rarely on her to do list. I rationalized that Rylan would most likely not come by here, nor would anyone else.

They'd assume I was sleeping, not seated atop Adam's lap while he tried to figure out how to get my dress off.

There was a moment of awkward hilarity when he realized the fitted dress couldn't be pushed down or pulled out of the way. His head had bumped mine while he tried to take it off, and he looked embarrassed when I nearly fell off him, eventually grasping on with one hand while I tossed Christian's work onto the floor.

His look of horror fell away when I sat there, almost completely undressed, on his lap.

His stare was so intense I could feel it on my skin, even though he'd seen me dressed in less than this. I'd bumped into him getting out of the shower, and I'd crashed into him in nothing but a sundress that was far too short to be running down the stairs in. But this had been different.

He was staring at me like he'd never seen me before, and he hadn't. Not like this, my breathing uneven and my fingers on his thighs, desperately trying to keep hold of him so I wouldn't chicken out. This wasn't the gym or the training room or the shitty showers after class. This was me, perched atop his lap in the ultra-fancy bra Christian had insisted went with the dress and the underwear that matched.

I'd never seen him like this, either.

In nothing but dark black boxer briefs, and his thighs bare beneath mine.

Things only got better, even if they weren't exactly seamless. My head bumped his, there was an awkward moment of trying to kiss him while not falling off his lap, and one wave of horror as I wondered if he thought we'd wind up having sex. It wasn't that I didn't like the idea, or that I hadn't been noticing that the closer we got, the harder it was to move away from him.

I just didn't know how I felt about that happening here, considering he and I used to take naps in this bed while our mothers gossiped about the faction.

I forgot all about that, when his fingers touched my back. One hand was in my hair, grasping fistfuls with graceless frustration, and the other was touching my spine. He wasn't exactly practiced at this, but neither was I. His fingers fumbled when they reached the clasp of my bra and a second later, I was met with a wave of cold air as he slid the straps down.

He watched, as if he were memorizing every single second of this.

At no point did I think this was moving too fast.

His eyes eventually found mine, maybe too afraid to look anywhere but at my face, and I smiled, pulling him closer.

He was the only person in the entire world with whom I felt comfortable like this. I tried to imagine if this had been anyone else, even someone from the transfers, but I couldn't. It seemed like it could only be Adam, and even if it wasn't happening like a scene from the terrible teen movies my mother liked to watch, it was just fine.

"What about when you ignored me for a week because your mom made you eat dinner in the mess hall with me because my dad was gone and she couldn't cook?"

"Eva," Adam breaks away from what he was doing, and he hovers over me. I take a second to appreciate what our initiation has done to him, because he's almost too good looking from this position. There's a different definition to the outline of his biceps, and his chest is far more defined up close. "Are you really going to ask me about every single time I ignored you? Because if I remember, you came to my birthday party one year, and you didn't say a word. Not even happy birthday. You only talked to Rylan."

I scrunch up my face, because there's a flash of guilt at the realization that he's right.

I hadn't.

"That's because Rylan was next to me, telling me Quinten had cut his finger off and he swore he couldn't find it. Sorry I wasn't paying attention to you sulking over the wrong birthday cake. You didn't exactly say hi to me, either."

I can still remember that day like it was yesterday. I'd stood beside Rylan, and he'd been furiously whispering that he thought the finger might have wound up in the cake. I had laughed, both in amusement and horror at poor Quinten, but my mother reassured me Rylan was exaggerating. He'd simply sliced the side of his finger open, but Rylan thought it would be cooler to tell everyone otherwise.

The memory makes me grin but Adam's smile slips. A second ago, he'd been smiling down at me, not all that upset that I was asking him these questions. It felt good to get all this off my chest and knowing that his distance had a fairly good explanation behind it made me feel better. I think he was feeling better too, until I said that.

But now he shuts his eyes, then opens them when I reach up to touch his cheek. His skin is no longer smooth and cold, but rough and warm beneath my fingers.

"I know. It wasn't a very fun party. My parents made me have it and they kept ranting about how they thought I wanted this weird…sprinkle cake when I really wanted…"

"Chocolate."

I answer at the same time as him, and my fingers slide into his hair. They curl in, digging deep within the strands to pull him closer, and he sighs, shutting his eyes again. "Yeah. I never even ate the cake they got."

"I think they were just trying to be cool. They thought you were bored with…"

"Oh yeah, sprinkles. Those are cool. Nothing else would solidify my social status here like a cake covered in multicolored sprinkles." Adam shakes his head, and the memory is gone. "I remember you being there. Laughing with Rylan while Nikolai tried to get closer."

I roll my eyes and his head drops down. He's still hovering over me, and I miss him on top of me. I liked how warm he was, and the weight of his bare chest against mine.

"I didn't even know Nikolai was there. But Rylan told me that for one of your dad's birthdays, he gave him a picture of himself. Like a huge, huge picture. And your father refused to hang it up and Rylan was mad for months." I do my best to change the subject and it works. He smiles when I pull one leg up to nudge him, and he willingly shifts closer.

Adam lets out a snicker of laughter. "I don't doubt it. I've learned that your godfather has serious issues with inserting himself into people's lives."

I nod, rising up to kiss him, and this time, I pull him back down. "Yeah, he does. He just wants to be a part of everyone's family."

"Yeah, I've noticed. I haven't forgotten he wanted to be my grandpa." Adam grimaces again, against my lips, and this time, he kisses me slowly. I feel his hands tighten, and I know he's tired. This had been an eye-opening experience for me, and as much as I was enjoying it, I knew we both had to sleep at some point. I vaguely wonder if he's disappointed, but he doesn't seem like it. "I saw him when I was on a date once. He had to force himself to only say hello and keep moving."

"Who were you on a date with?" My fingers tighten in his hair, and I realize I'm holding my breath and suddenly wide awake. He glances down at me, and there's a rush of brand new, raw jealousy at this knowledge. "You went on a date with someone? I thought…"

"Oh, um…yeah… Callie. You know her? She was in our math class."

I blink, and my stare moves to the side of him.

I most certainly knew Callie.

She hated me.

With a burning passion.

"You guys sort of…look alike. Actually, that's really awkward now that I just said it." Adam fumbles with his words, and I know why.

Callie's mother oversaw the control room. Neither she nor her mother were incredibly nice, and she was snotty only because her mother could fix any situation to benefit her. She got her out of trouble countless times, could erase footage or delete the evidence of whatever Callie had done, and everyone knew it. My father quickly put a stop to this after Callie led some mini rebellion over the factionless that were hanging around the border of our faction, and she wanted to let them in because she thought it was cruel they were stuck outside.

In fact, she had let them in.

She'd let them in to offer them dinner and a place to stay, and they'd opened fire and demanded to see the Leaders.

No one was really pleased with this, and Callie and her mother both faced some harsh consequences. Her mother still worked in the control room, but Callie had to work off her punishment for months, and she somehow remained snottier than ever.

The worst part of it all, was not that she was pissy that my father wouldn't let her destroy the faction, but that she did sort of look like me. We were roughly the same height, both our hair was dark, and she was just as pale as I was. Her clothes were different, sometimes a bit edgier and sharper, but every so often, she wore a dress and people loved to pretend they couldn't tell us apart.

She loathed this, and I never heard the end of it.

"Is she still here?" I haven't let go of Adam and I'm having a hard time swallowing. I didn't know he'd gone on a date with anyone, and I also didn't know I was capable of such a burning rage over someone going somewhere with Adam.

"Uh no," Adam lowers himself down until his body is covering mine and pulls me over so I'm on my side, facing him. "She transferred to Candor in a fit of rage. But before she left, she told me I was the most boring person she'd ever met. We had coffee, twice. She really wanted to drive the point home that everyone knew I was boring, and she'd only come along so she could tell people she did."

"Oh, that's…. really shitty…"

My words are a cheerful lie, and I wonder if this new Eva is one who is unable to hold back my true feelings. I'm glad Callie was crappy, because this could have been her lying beneath him, and not me.

"Yeah, real shitty, Eva." Adam laughs, and he hasn't missed my petulant tone. He nudges my leg with his, making himself comfortable in my bed. "I'm glad you're sympathetic. At the time I thought she liked me, and come to find out, she just wanted a good laugh."

"I'm sorry," I move closer so I can look at him, and he bends his head down. "I like you, though."

There's a moment of absolute silence. It's just him and me in my room, the lights turned off, and the only glow is coming from the nightlight in my bathroom that my father was convinced I still needed.

I don't look away, not even when Adam's stare drops to my mouth. He hesitates, but it's all the more endearing. "You promise? You're not gonna run downstairs and tell Pink what a joke this was? That she was a better date than me?"

I shake my head, and my lips touch his right as I realize he has decided it was a date. It makes kissing him all the better, and my hand finds his chest, resting there as I close my eyes.

"Promise."

I feel him smile, finally relaxing against me.

* * *

"Well, well, well. Evangelina Coulter. It's about time you arise. Were you up late last night?"

I open the front door to the smirky face of Rylan. He's dressed in most of his uniform, but his jacket is unbuttoned to reveal a shirt with a picture of a unicorn and a narwhal fighting, and his hair is almost all out of the bun he'd had it in. It looks like he climbed straight out of bed to come here, and not just because his shoes are tied haphazardly.

"Did you just wake up? Why are you here? What time is it?" I rub my eyes, trying to remember what was going on. I had woken up sometime early this morning, to the feeling of Adam climbing out of my bed. My heart had sunk in disappointment when he scrambled to find his shirt, but he had good reason to be leaving.

Our parents were more than likely on their way back.

Because it wasn't the early morning I thought it was, but much later.

"It's ten thirty. I was just out here, patrolling, when I saw Adam walking by. Without his pants on." Rylan stares at me, and I stare back at him. There is a silent, determined stare off between us, but we both cave at the same time.

"Did he stay here?"

"Ugh, fine he was here."

"I knew it!" Rylan's triumph echoes down the hallway, and I wince. He's extra loud, and I know it's because I'm tired. "How far did you get? Wait, don't tell me. Actually, do tell me. No, I don't need to know. You're like my child. Do I need to take you to the nurse? Do we report this? Oh fuck, your father is going to die. Keel over. Right here, in this hallway. I should take you to the nurse. Arlene!"

"Rylan," I say his name slowly, and I try to figure out how I can stop him, and I realize I'll have to play dirty. While Rylan was completely good natured in his panic and odd joy over this, it was the kind of news that would ruin what was happening between Adam and I. Worse than that, I didn't want my father thinking I was sneaking around behind his back. He might have let Adam stay if I'd asked, but I hadn't asked. "Rylan, my most favorite godfather ever. Smartest man in this entire faction. The only one who looks good with long hair."

I pause, and Rylan's head tilts at me.

"Go on."

"Can we go eat breakfast? Just you and I? Godfather and goddaughter? It's been a long time since we hung out."

It's only a single second before his eyes light up, and his smile is smug. He knew what I was doing, but there was no quicker way to Rylan's heart than being reminded of how great and important he was to the Coulter family. Or how fantastic his hair was.

"I'll let you get dressed. I'm assuming this is a bribe to keep me quiet about Adam?"

I smile, because he's not at all mad, and I have a feeling he'll take this secret to the grave if I ask him to.

"Thirty minutes. I'm going to take a shower. You pick the place," I nod, and I wonder if Adam made it home already. "And nothing happened. Is Adam still…"

"He's home. Four and Tris are about a half hour away. Just enough time to make it look like he spent the night there and not in your bed. Don't worry, I gave him some pointers. I snuck out at the time and my parents never knew."

I refrain from making any sort of eye roll or commentary. The ironic part was, other than taking my dress off and kissing until my eyes were too tired to stay open, nothing all that scandalous happened, nor had anyone snuck anywhere. But I still need Rylan to be quiet. So, I smile widely, and I politely excuse myself to go get dressed, saying a quick prayer than no one else caught Adam walking home.

Especially not Kacie.

* * *

"You're sure nothing happened? Not even…like…I mean why were his pants off?"

Rylan stares at me over his scrambled eggs, and he shakes his head like he's not so sure he should believe me. He'd argued the entire walk down here that I should probably go to the infirmary, and I'd argued that there was no need. I thought I had him convinced, but once under the warm glow of Clyde's and their brand new breakfast menu, he seemed determined to find out what really went on.

"Well…. would you sleep in your dress pants? Or…any pants?" I swallow down a bite of the pancakes I'd ordered, and Rylan nods thoughtfully.

"Good point."

I sigh in relief, not because I thought Rylan was going to run and tell my father, but because for once, someone was just listening to me without their own invasive commentary. Well, his commentary was sort of invasive, but it wasn't Kat making snarky remarks or even Rachel, slyly insisting she knew more than I did.

Sure, Rylan had questions. He very badly wanted to know what had gone on between Adam and I, but it was far more out of concern than anything. He asked one final time if I wanted him to walk me to the nurse, and his eyes swept over my neck suspiciously.

To make him feel better, I politely declined to go see Arlene and I gave Rylan a few of the answers he wanted. I told him Adam and I had fallen asleep after talking, and I even brought up Callie. He immediately picked up that I was surprised by this. It didn't take Rylan long to figure out that I hadn't dated anyone, and Adam's two dates threw me off. I'm sure Rylan assumed this, because my father would have told him, but here I was, sitting with just him, telling him how she had said Adam was boring, and it clearly bothered him.

This confession must have felt like major bonding to Rylan.

Pacified by these details, we ate breakfast, and he went on to tell me that while in Amity, Four had been bitten by something.

"I'm pretty sure he has rabies now," Rylan looks pleased by this, and I wonder if Adam is ready for Rylan to move in as his stepfather. "Someone should probably tell Tris. Start making arrangements."

"Wasn't she there?" I reach for my orange juice, and I wonder if they're back yet. "Were you there?"

"Nah, I heard it from Eric. He was laughing when he called me."

"I'm sure he was," I laugh right along with Rylan, because even though their feud with Four had been long buried, they found whatever he did to be hilarious. "Hey, Rylan, I just want you to know, I really appreciate this. I just…I don't want it to get out because I don't want to mess this up with Adam. No one really knows except you, and I don't want him to freak out. It took a long time for him to even talk to me."

"I know," Rylan answers, and his mood shifts to an oddly serious one. He's never serious, but I know he is now because he sets his fork down and frowns. "Eva, I have to ask, are you…are you two running away together? Because everyone thinks you'll get married?"

I nearly drop my own fork.

"Because if you are, and if you and Adam want to live somewhere else, let me know. I'll help you. Don't just run away on your own. It's not that fun, even if you're going to go live with Harrison. It'll get old, quick. He doesn't like a lot of noise even though his hearing isn't so great these days."

"What?" I blink at him, and Lucy drops off another plate of eggs for him. "Who told you that? Adam and I aren't running away anywhere."

"Are you sure?" Rylan eyes me suspiciously, and he takes the eggs from Lucy. "Can you bring us some coffee? And more whipped cream?"

"For your eggs?" Lucy stares at him in disgust, and he stares back at her in equal disgust.

"No, for my coffee. But thank you for implying I'm a gross human being." Rylan waits until she leaves, then shakes his head. "I'm telling Harrison to fire her. But yes, I heard from…someone that he wants to leave here and he wants to take you with him. Either as his girlfriend or kidnapping victim. Which would be ironic because…"

"Rylan, have you even gone in to work today or are you just spending your whole morning with Eva, eating all the eggs the faction has?"

The voice startles me, and I look up to see Four standing beside the table. He looks down at both of us, his stare lingering on me long enough that I want to look away, then to Rylan. He's dressed casually, but his expression is anything but.

I wonder if he caught the end of what Rylan was saying.

"This is official business, Four. Not to mention I don't report to you. But to answer your question, yes. I've already been at work. Some of us went in at five, rather than down to the infirmary." Rylan pauses, and there's a flash of annoyance behind his eyes. "How's your hand? Good? Infected? Rotting off?"

Four narrows his eyes and he looks pretty unhappy.

"Are you two fighting?" I stare at them in confusion, because while Rylan often chose Four to focus his endless energy on, he was secretly a very good friend to him. My father told me Rylan was one of the first ones to make sure no one was saying shit about Four, unless it was him. He also lived very close to him, and sometimes, they had drinks together after work.

I had long assumed Four tolerated Rylan's enthusiasm about as well as my father did.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Eva. Everything is fine," Four answers without looking at me. He's glaring at Rylan, and Rylan glares back at him.

"Are you taking today off? Because of your…injury?" Rylan asks, feigning polite innocence, but I can see him struggling not to smile. "The one you seem to be blaming me for, like I trained a wild raccoon to bite you on command when you weren't looking?"

Four's eye twitches.

"No, I'm not. I came to find you because we're supposed to be going over a security briefing as soon as Eric is back. I thought I'd kill some time before that." Four crosses his arms over his chest, and he looks at me. "Eva, do you know where Adam is? I was hoping I'd see him but he wasn't there."

"Um…maybe downstairs?" I busy myself eating breakfast, and Rylan scrunches his face up and looks at the ceiling with great fascination. "We have today off. Maybe he's out with his friends."

"Alright," Four sighs, and he sits down beside Rylan. Rylan looks over at him in confusion, and Four shoves him over until he moves. "I wanted to talk to him. I barely saw him at the dinner. I was going to see if he wanted some advice on the next stage of training."

"Four, we talked about this," Rylan turns, and I watch them intently. "He doesn't want your advice. Good or bad. And your advice is usually bad and fatherly and weird, so just…no. Go take a nap and recover from your traumatic evening."

"Eric gave Eva advice. He said he talked to her about the fear landscapes," Four cuts him off, and he looks annoyed. "Why will Eva listen to Eric but Adam won't even hear what I have to say?"

I freeze when they both turn to look at me.

Here it was.

The reason why Adam was reluctant to see his father.

It wasn't the advice that was the problem, it was that his father was determined to give it to him.

"Eric trained Eva to listen to him," Rylan throws out cheerfully. "You didn't train Adam to do anything except dedicate himself to a lifetime of short hair."

The look on Four's face is pure exasperation. "I just want to help. I thought maybe he'd been gone long enough that things would be okay and he'd listen to what I was telling him." He stops, and he looks at me. "Tris said he came to dinner with you. That you went and got him because he didn't show up on his own. Why will he talk to her?"

I have to look away, because I feel a wave of defensiveness wash over me, even though I can easily pick up on the hurt hiding beneath Four's words. It's buried under a thousand other emotions, all culminating from raising someone for eighteen years only to have them not want to talk to you. But it's not exactly my place to tell him that I made a deal with Adam to see Tris, only because I wanted him to see his mom.

"I told him to go home last night. I was expecting to see him there this morning."

I swallow down the last of my orange juice. I try not to look at Rylan, because he's back to looking anywhere but at Four, desperate to tell him where Adam had been.

This wasn't a good sign, either. The secret was clearly eating him alive.

"Yeah…he just, you know, he's doing really good. He's been working really hard. I just went and got him because I thought he should see…Tris and I assumed he was hungry. But I don't know if he…if he wants any advice…" I trail off, not really sure what to say. I'd rarely seen Four this worked up over Adam, but it seemed that Adam ignoring his father was starting to wear him down. "I think things will be different after initiation. He just wants some space to figure things out. That's all."

Four is silent.

He doesn't like this answer very much, and his annoyed expression doesn't lessen. "Figure what out? What on Earth does he have to figure out?"

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, FOUR. He's figuring out how to get Eva to marry him. He's in love with Eva and that's what he's focused on. How did you miss that? Damn. This is impossible. Eva, I can't do it," Rylan blurts out, and both Four and I look at him. Me, in pure and utter horror, and Four, in the same manner.

He looks from Rylan to me, and his expression is very confused.

"He's not talking to me because…he's in love with…Eva?"

The way he says my name makes my stomach turn over. It's not an entirely thrilled tone, and even Rylan looks at him weird.

"Yeah, Eva. They were at the…the dinner? You didn't see them sitting by each other? They left together. Four, you okay, man? You want me to order you some breakfast? Is your blood sugar low again?"

Four doesn't answer him. He's looking at me, but his expression is funny. It's not angry or annoyed, but more worried than anything. It's not exactly the look of someone who approves of his son's choice in who he liked, and I have a feeling this won't go over well.

"He's not…he's not in love with me." I protest quietly, and I feel a wave of nausea at the look on Four's face. "You know what…I have to go. I should…I should go find…my…. shoes."

"Eva, no wait!" Rylan answers immediately, watching me push my plate away from me. I can't really look at either of them, but it's hard to miss the hurt look on his face. "I don't know if he's in love with you. I just said that because…because I think…it's sort of dangerous right now and you can't leave. We were bonding! I never get this! It's always someone else."

His last words are spoken in total defeat, and he slumps down against the booth. He crosses his arms over his chest and scowls.

"Thanks a lot, Four. You ruined my breakfast with Eva."

"I'm sorry, Rylan. I just thought…" Four holds his hands up, and he catches my eye, now fully panicking. "Eva, no…I'm very sorry. I didn't mean anything it's just…I can't even find him and…"

I want to fix this. I truly do. If anything, I want to sit back down and reassure Four that Adam will be fine, and someday, things will be good. If he can ease up, it'll show Adam that he trusts him, and he isn't afraid to let him do his own thing. Just like my dad learned he needed to back off, so does he.

But I can't fix this.

I might have been able to get Adam to come to dinner with me, but I couldn't get Adam to listen to his father's advice.

No matter how helpful he was trying to be.

"Maybe…just leave him alone," I wince when I say the words, because they sound harsh even to me. But they're honest. I didn't know Adam as well as everyone thought I did, but I did know he wasn't about to cave in and start seeking his father out for any questions he might have. I got the feeling Adam was feeling like they never listened to him, and now it was his turn to not listen to them. "If anything happens…I'm sure it'll be okay. I'll um, I'll come tell you, I guess."

The last part is hard for me to say. As much as I loved Adam's parents, the look on Four's face told me I was the last person he wanted Adam to end up with. It stung more than I expected, and I have to work very hard not to throw up.

"Okay, but Eva, I'm sorry. You look really upset," Four answers, his voice as defeated as his shrug. "I guess, I guess I'll…leave him alone. Until he's over whatever he's upset about or whatever he's pissed off over."

"Okay, Four, you are definitely not getting invited to their wedding with that attitude." Rylan rubs his temples like this pains him, and he ignores my glare. "Eva, I love you. Go find your shoes. We'll talk later, but only if you want. It'll be on your terms. I won't even say anything or tell you what to do."

I smile as he makes the point that he'll only talk if I want to, and I thank him for breakfast.

"I'll see you both around."

"Bye Eva."

They both say it at the same time, and I hear Rylan hiss at Four that he needs to knock it off. I overhear a few more things, like will Four just relax because nothing bad will happen, and I also hear Rylan ask him what his issue is. They argue for another minute, the words _security concern_ and a mumbled name that I can't make out thrown back and forth, but I have no clue what they're talking about.

I leave the restaurant in total confusion, which I despise. My night had been so great, and this unfortunate turn of events wasn't at all what I was anticipating.

I think about this the entire walk back, and with great disappointment, I figure I might as well find my friends and see if their day has been going any better than mine.

* * *

I don't find them.

I was hoping to find Pink and Gunner, even Rachel and Aja. I wanted to hear how the rest of their night went, and if they'd heard anything from above. Whatever security concerns Four had going on were clearly bothering him, enough that it had put him in quite the mood. I wondered if maybe he was more upset over that, and the way he said my name was due to his stress, and not because he didn't like the idea of Adam and I together.

Or maybe he really didn't.

Maybe that was why Adam wasn't speaking to him.

"Hey! Eva!"

I look up a second too late, my head heavy with all these thoughts, and I crash right into Adam. He steadies me with both hands, and he immediately takes note of the expression on my face.

"Eva, what happened?"

I stare up at him, and I take in one shaky breath.

He must have just taken a shower. His hair is damp, his t-shirt is worn and black, and his jeans are as dark as the cloud looming over me. He waits patiently, and his hands are warm on my arms.

"I saw your dad just now. I don't think…I don't think he likes the idea of us together." I manage to get this out before my voice shakes, and I hate that it does that. I don't like feeling like this, out of control and unsure of myself, and I certainly don't like my eyes burning. "I had breakfast with Rylan. He saw you leaving this morning and I knew he'd tell everyone, so I bribed him to go eat with me. Your dad showed up and…he just… Rylan said something stupid and your dad looked at me like he….like he…"

I can't figure out how to say it.

It feels a little too angsty to blurt out that Four didn't want me dating Adam, because I wouldn't even call what was going on dating.

"Let me guess, he doesn't approve of something that doesn't concern him? Shocking," Adam dryly answers me, and his fingers curl in tighter. One hand moves to touch my cheek, and his fingers slide back to twist a piece of my hair out of the way. "Eva, I don't care what he thinks. I can't even think of a reason he wouldn't like you. In fact, I'm pretty sure he likes you more than me. Way more. He always talked about how good you were and how odd that was considering Eric is your father."

His words make me smile, but it's not a real smile. Even at his worst, my father was still one of the best people I knew. I tried to think of how he would handle this, and all I can think about is that he certainly wouldn't be standing here, sniffling that Four didn't like him.

"Eva, don't let him get to you. He's…in a weird mood. Jason said he's been edgy since the dinner last night," Adam reassures me, but it doesn't work.

"It's not just that. Rylan told him you were in love with me and we were getting married and…your dad just looked like he was horrified. Maybe…maybe…"

"Maybe he should focus on himself for a while instead of how I feel about you."

Adam closes the distance between us, and his arms wrap around me before I can answer him. I let my head fall forward, and my whole plan of wanting someone to like me while never needing anyone because I was a strong, independent woman raised by the toughest man in Dauntless falls apart right in front of me.

"It didn't go very well. Rylan told him he'd never get invited to the wedding with that attitude," I say the words against his shirt, well aware that I sound a little hysterical.

"This might be the only time I'll ever say this, but I have to agree with Rylan." Adam's fingers slide into the bottom of my hair, right at my nape, and I feel him take in a deep breath. "I can promise you this, it's not you. He's worried about some guy they think has been hanging around Dauntless. Jason told me a few days ago. I think when they found those people near Amity, they decided it was related. I'm guessing these people are a threat and my father is thinking that if you or I somehow wind up in danger, it'll be worse if we're…"

Adam pauses, and I wait for him to finish. I open my eyes to the grey fabric of his shirt and ignore the annoyance that he gets told this kind of stuff and I don't.

"We're what?" I look up, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand.

"Together."

I stare up at him.

He's looking down at me, and we're the only people in the dormitory. I suddenly notice it's deathly silent in here, aside from us. I like how in these moments, we could be anywhere, and it wouldn't matter.

"Forget about him, Eva. It's not worth being upset over."

I nod, and Adam bends his head down. His nose grazes mine and I close my eyes.

It wasn't that I wanted or needed his reassurance. I certainly didn't need Four to approve of me in any way. I knew I was a good person. I was confident I'd pass this initiation, move out of my parent's apartment, and live my life happily ever after. I was hoping that ever after would include Adam in some way, but if it didn't, I was strong enough to survive.

"Wait, Rylan thinks we're getting married?"

Adam breaks away to look at me, his expression way too amused for my liking.

"Yes, he does. We can thank Zander for that." I grin, but the grin falls off my face when Adam's eyes widen. "What? Adam, what's wrong?"

I turn in the direction he's staring, and I'm rewarded with Kat, stumbling down the stairs. She's walking backwards, giggling as her hands fumble with the waistband of her companion's pants. It's clear she expects this room to be empty, because she pulls his shirt out, frantically yanking the fabric up, and she only stops to shriek when she realizes they aren't alone.

"EVA! ADAM! I thought…I didn't think anyone was in here!"

She looks completely panic stricken, and rightfully so.

Her fingers are still on Zander, and they are both frozen in place.


	18. Chapter 18

Hi! I hope everyone had a really great Thursday, Thanksgiving, whatever! I'm currently using some real iffy Disneyland Hotel wifi, freezing because it's 45 degrees here, and trying to figure out how late I can get coffee at this hotel.

Thank you so so so much to _**Bamberlee**_! Not only did she edit this chapter, but she edited the next one, and an outtake! There are multiple parts to it, but only the first one is updated! So tons to read this week!

Major thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter!

*Finally: I have no clue what next week's update holds. It'll be on Friday, but I've lost all sense of time here, so it might just be one chapter. If that's the case, I'll make it longer.*

Have a lovely weekend!

* * *

"Eva."

"Eva."

"EVA!"

I blink, and all that registers is the sensation of Adam's fingers curling around my arm, gently pulling me closer to him, until my back is against his chest. I'm not sure if he thinks Kat is going to lunge for me, or he's using me as a human shield, but he holds on tightly, and I'm dimly aware everyone is saying my name.

All three of them, in varying levels of panic.

"Eva, say something," Kat begs, and my vision unblurs to see her, standing in front of Zander. They both are bright red, and he stays back, inconspicuously trying to fix his shirt as if I can't see him. "Eva, I just…I couldn't tell you. I figured you'd freak out."

Freak out is the correct wording, because I wasn't quite sure what I was seeing, but it suddenly all made sense.

Kat's distancing herself from me, after years of being one of my closest friends.

The sneaking around.

Staying out late.

Not practicing near me.

Her sudden rise in the rankings, though no doubt a result of hard work, because Zander had been helping her.

Her shitty attitude toward me.

Her general disdain of everyone our age.

Refusing to go to the Leadership Dinner and telling me she'd already been invited. Zander, saying he'd been turned down by the girl he'd originally asked and resorting to asking a girl he barely knew.

The frantic nonstop texting, and Kat's happy expression only when she was glued to her phone.

I wasn't sure how I hadn't put all this together.

"I never expected it to happen. It just did. Eva, are you going to say something or just look at me?"

Kat stops right directly in front me, and behind her, Zander examines the walls like he was down here for some sort of routine inspection. Her expression is pure worry, and not just because she was too busy making out with my uncle to realize I was down here, but because I haven't said anything yet.

I'm not really sure what to say.

"EVA!"

"Zander?" I stare at her, her red hair a complete mess and her cheeks flushed, and Adam holds onto me even tighter. "He's my…my…"

I can't bring myself to speak. Zander and I lock eyes, and he scrunches his face up, begging me not to say it out loud.

"I know what he is! He's your uncle and that's totally weird but…he's…he's only a few years older than us so it's not that weird," Kat blurts out, and she's so worked up, she's failed to notice that Adam is about to drag me out of here or shove me at her to shut her up. "Eva, don't be mad. I swear I was going to tell you. I just…we wanted to make sure it worked out. I didn't want to tell you and have Zander dump me a week later."

"Hey! I already told you I wasn't going to dump you!" From behind her, Zander sounds insulted. "I promised you and I've never broken a promise to anyone."

I stare at them in total disbelief; Zander, slowly walking toward me, and Kat, staring pleadingly to approve of this relationship, and I have no words.

I'm not even sure how I truly feel about it.

Out of everything going on, the stress over these weird security breaches, Four looking irritated that I existed, Rylan seeing Adam leave my parent's apartment after spending the night, and this thing between Adam and I, Kat dating Zander was the last thing I was expecting. It wasn't the worst thing that could happen, but I have to admit I'm surprised to see it right in front of me.

I also have to admit I feel incredibly stupid. I felt like I knew Kat better than this, and there's a trace of insult that she didn't think she could tell me.

"Eva, please. You don't understand. It's really important that you're good with this." Kat's hands find mine, and her tone changes to something sharper. "Besides, you know I'm not the only one with a secret. You've been hiding whatever you and Adam have going on for weeks now. Maybe longer. Maybe it's been going on forever, and you're only public with it now since you aren't at home and your parents can't voice their approval."

She sounds both desperate and hysterical, but I'm taken back.

"I'm keeping secrets?"

"What the fuck?" Adam mutters, just as insulted as I am. While I hadn't exactly announced to the faction that I'd kissed Adam, I certainly wasn't hiding it.

Neither was he.

Not to mention, I most certainly hadn't been secretly dating Adam for any amount of time. I find myself upset that she'd think I would have kept such a thing a secret, especially from one of my best friends. "Really, Kat?"

"You haven't exactly been upfront with everyone, have you Eva? I mean, Adam? Seriously? Did you really think that no one would notice you two dating?" Her eyes flash to Adam behind me, and I open my mouth to answer, but Adam speaks first.

"Lay off, Kat. She doesn't owe you anything, but you could have told her about Zander. You knew it would get back to her eventually."

"Hey…Adam…she's just…upset. I promise. Kat, come here," Zander does his best to corral Kat back to him, but she moves away, not at all appreciative of his attempt to diffuse the situation.

"Do you even know Eva? She has more secrets than anyone!" Kat protests and I stare at her. The only secret I'd been harboring was that I really liked Adam, and I was pretty sure that wasn't the secret of the year. Or a secret anymore.

"I haven't kept anything from you!" I blurt this out, and I can feel Adam tense up behind me. His grip changes, and I know he's about to leave.

"Hey, look, Eva and I are going to get some fresh air. Maybe after everyone calms down, we can all eat dinner together or uh, maybe not because I don't know if Zander is supposed to eat with us?" Adam speaks slowly, thinking out loud while he talks, and feel him lean into me. "Can you eat with us? Actually, no worries. We'll just…see you guys later. Don't' worry, we'll pretend we didn't see you."

"Yeah, yeah of course I can eat with you!" Zander agrees immediately, even though he hasn't eaten with us once. "Eva, just…look I know this has to be weird, but just…don't freak, okay. Just give it a day or two to think about."

He's suddenly right beside Kat, and he stops right next to her. It's much different than in the training room; Kat isn't so nervous anymore, and they do look good together. She's not as tall as him, but she's not as short as I am. They both share the same edgy style, and he keeps looking at her, though his stare is wrought with guilt and worry.

"I wasn't talking to you, Adam. I was talking to Eva," Kat's expression darkens, irritated that Adam interrupted her. "I don't really care…"

"I think we all know you don't really care," Adam shakes his head, and his grip on me grows tighter. "You've been treating Eva like crap for weeks now. Everyone's noticed. I guess this is why you've been so shitty to everyone."

For several seconds, his words hang in the air, right between us.

I let them sink in, aware that he's not only defending me, but he's been watching Kat close enough to figure out things weren't great between us. She must be thinking the same thing, because Kat's jaw drops.

For a moment, I feel a flash of sympathy for her.

No one likes to be called on their bullshit. It was the same way I grew defensive when people thought I let my father make every decision in my life, or the way Adam grew quiet when people asked if his parents were really that bad.

But while we were both working through those things, Kat clearly wasn't working on handling her stress any better.

"You're really one to talk, Eaton. It wasn't that long ago _you_ were treating Eva like shit," Kat stares at him, and her eyes flash with minimal patience. "And Eva, really? Adam? Out of every guy here, every guy in this faction who'd go out with you, you're going to hang onto the one who couldn't even say your name because his friends thought it was funny? You think I'm hiding something…"

"I'm not hiding anything!" My protest falls on deaf ears, because the only person who listens is Zander.

"Whoa, Kat…come here. This is…this obviously isn't going well and that's understandable…" Zander steps in front of her, and I watch him pull Kat back. He's not at all rough about it, and she looks up at him in total panic. "You don't want to fight with Eva. Not over you and me."

"I'm sorry, Zander. I'm…" Kat shakes her head, and she looks back at me in total irritation. "You were right not to tell anyone. I guess I thought Eva would take it better."

"Better than what?" I wiggle free from Adam and he says my name loudly. "I asked you who you were dating a bunch of times and you had the chance to tell me it was Zander. I don't…I don't think I would have cared. But you've been refusing to say anything this whole time and now I'm just supposed to be good with it? And you think _I'm_ hiding something? Kat, you haven't been very nice to me at all, and I've…I've just been taking it. I thought you were just stressed out about initiation, but you seem to be doing just fine."

Kat looks right at me, and she juts her chin out.

"I was stressed about initiation but I'm not anymore. If you hadn't been so glued to Adam, you'd have noticed. But if we're being honest here, I don't think you should be with Adam. I think he's obnoxious and tortured and his parents do suck. And you sort of suck, too. I'm sorry, Eva. Someone had to say it. Your father runs your life and you let him because, oh wow he's Eric and everyone just listens to him or he'll shoot them. You know what? You need to grow up!"

I freeze in place. She practically yells the last part, full of pent up frustration and anger, and her words sting. I know a lot of people thought my father was too invested in everything I was doing, but he'd kept his word. I hadn't seen him since my mother told him to ease up, and I knew he was coming from a good place.

But Kat didn't.

She wasn't even aware he'd looked out for her, too.

"Kat! No, Kat you can't…that's not very nice! You need to stop," Zander groans, but it's too late.

I turn on my heel, and before any of them can do anything other than blurt out my name, I leave. I make it to the stairs, to the hallway, until the three of them arguing is nothing more than a tiny echo.

* * *

"Would you like to pierce something? I would need your father's permission first. Verbal and written."

The man stands before me looking like a human pin cushion, and I stare at the shiny metal bar between his eyes. It's somehow nestled in the slant of his nose, and I wonder how it stays there.

I also wonder how practical any of these piercings would be if someone were being attacked.

"I can pierce whatever I want but no thank you." I politely glare at the man, the name on his vest embroidered in a deep maroon color, and I sigh. "I was just…looking. But thank you. Have a good day…Weasel."

"You too."

I leave the piercing shop ready to scream, and not just because someone named after a rodent would think I needed my father here to stab a needle through my skin.

Because for once in my life, I, Eva Coulter, had no fucking clue what to do, and it was unlikely piercing anything would help that.

As much as I hated to admit it, I felt like my entire life had been turned upside down, then shaken a few times. Eventually it would turn itself around, but it still wouldn't be the same, for nothing would land in the same place. In the past twenty-four hours, I'd finally made peace with Adam's reasoning for not talking to me. I understood his worry that what he felt wasn't real, but the power of suggestion. I'd kissed him, countless times, beneath twinkling lights and the scent of cotton candy, and I'd fallen asleep against his bare chest, feeling like things were right.

I'd also encountered half of my extended family in Amity, all thrilled to see me, thrilled at the prospect of a potential wedding, and even more thrilled if that extension was Adam. I had my grandma tell me I was too young to get married, my mother freak out over Woody being married, and my father silently letting a horse neigh at him because it was better than listening to people ask if I was engaged.

Then there was Adam, who made my stomach tighten like I was about to fall off a building, yet somehow gave me this odd feeling of belonging that I couldn't explain. I wanted to just stay with him, even if it was nothing more than lying on the too small bed and listening to him tell me things he'd never told anyone before. I wanted everything with him, even things I'd never thought about, even though he'd winced when anyone suggested we were engaged. I'd never once imagined leaving Dauntless, and while the idea made me frown, leaving with him now somehow made sense. It felt like something I didn't know I needed until this very second.

There were a million other things weighing on me as well.

My mother, probably wondering how on Earth I wasn't married or collecting a harem of men. Also my mother, looking a little run down and tired, and my father griping that she couldn't stay awake. Rylan, convinced I should go to the nurse after a night of kissing Adam and taking his shirt off yet still the only person in the faction who had let me talk without any judgement.

There were Jason and Four, hunting down men and women I knew nothing about, yet felt like everyone else did and I had missed the memo entirely. Four's look of disapproval as I sat there, his eyes lingering on me until I looked away, and his mouth turned down.

My father, forcibly staying in his office because maybe he had made it a priority to fix my life. Maybe he was simply biding his time until I needed his help. Kat could be right; I let him help me more than I should, because I wanted him to be happy. Then there was the sinking feeling that he was unhappy because my mother wasn't around as much. I felt a slap of guilt that I should be checking on him, but I wasn't even sure how or when. I still had the rest of my initiation to get through, and then, once done, I still had to secure a job here. He would be incredibly disappointed if I wound up doing nothing of any real importance, and I knew it would reflect poorly on him.

Add in the uneven friendships I had going on, and my uncle dating one of my formerly close friends, and it was enough that I wanted to sit down and close my eyes for a few days. Maybe months. Maybe I could just stay here, to the side of racks of dark clothing and even darker shoes and pretend things were great.

Or until Weasel wandered in here and called someone.

"Don't be stupid, Eva. You're fine. This is fine," I press the heel of my palms to my eyes, and for a moment, there is nothing but darkness. I revel in it, the feeling of a far away land as all sorts of color blurs burst, and I only open them when I hear someone say my name.

I almost don't.

The voice is familiar, but most definitely the voice of the last person I want to witness me having this lovely meltdown.

It's low and even, scary and intimidating.

There's only one person who's ever said my name in such a warning tone, and it's my father.

* * *

"How long have you known for?"

This time, the ice cream is so sweet it burns. It's mint flavored, and my father doesn't like it. But he eats it, carefully, one painful spoonful at a time.

"A while. I found them a week after Zander decided she was the love of his life. I walked in on them in the hallway down by the trainer's showers." He takes a slow bite, and he stares at me from across the table. "They were… busy. They only stopped when they realized I was there. Zander is unfortunately optimistic and, at the time, was convinced you'd be okay with it. I told him this wasn't going to go over as easily as he was hoping. They both agreed to keep it quiet until initiation is over."

"He's my uncle," I point out needlessly, toying with the spoon to cover up my irritation that no one had told me about them. "And she's one of my best friends. Or she was. She didn't even tell me she was seeing him. I thought maybe he was helping her with initiation. I didn't think it was that."

"Yeah, well people do weird shit when they're in love," my father mutters, and he pulls his phone out of his pocket. "It probably started with him helping her and turned into something else. I told him to keep his nose clean until training is over. If he's careful, it'll be fine." He stops when I scrunch my face up, and he stares at me with a very patient smile. "From my end. I have a responsibility to make sure his class gets trained. What he does in his personal time doesn't concern me, but you have every right to feel however you want about it."

"I don't know how I feel," I answer dejectedly. "If he likes her, I guess he likes her. She really likes him. I just wish someone had told me."

"There are a lot of reasons why they need to keep it quiet." He slides his phone back in his jacket and shrugs. "It might not last. It was fun because they were sneaking around, but we'll see if it stays fun. The novelty might have worn off now that you know."

"Sorry," I shrug back, smashing the ice cream down into the bowl. My father watches me, silent while I destroy the dessert, and I look up when he says my name. "Yeah?"

"Eva, you look absolutely miserable. What's wrong?"

His words are flat, and I nod. I keep my stare on the ice cream, watching it slowly melt. I can't bring myself to repeat Kat's words, but maybe that's because there was some truth in them.

How on Earth would I tell my dad that?

"Are you…okay? Is it…is it Adam?" He leans in, lowering his head so only I can hear him. "I heard…I mean, I know…he's…. Eva…"

"He's me?" I smile at him, and he glares back. We both know he's having a hard time saying anything about Adam, but it brings me the smallest amount of amusement to watch him be so thrown off. "Adam is fine. I'm…just…sort of lost right now. Everything in my life is spiraling out of control. Last night was good. For once, I actually enjoyed the dinner. Then Rylan told Four that Adam is in love with me, and Four didn't look very happy, Kat is mad at me, and she thinks I've been keeping things from her and she told me I suck. It's just…a lot. And Weasel said I need your permission to get something pierced and I was thinking maybe…maybe I do need to be away from you for a while."

To his credit, my father doesn't jump up nor does his eye twitch. He just sits back against the booth, and he looks at me, with his head slightly tilted. I know he's thinking about something, probably which person he'd like to kill, but he's quiet for a long time.

I bet it ends up being Weasel.

"Okay, we'll get to Kat in a second. You most certainly don't suck and I'll let Weasel know you can pierce whatever you like. But uh, are you…do you… …you love…him…."

He can't say it.

"Dad, are you asking me if I'm in love with Adam? Or Weasel?" I try not to smile when he clenches his jaw, and I can't decide if it's the thought of me being in love with Adam, or the idea that this wasn't something he could fix or oversee. Or the general idea that someone might find me attractive, considering my father could kill them and no one would ask any questions.

"Adam," he mutters, and he reaches for his water. He drinks the whole thing without stopping, and he looks at me, both impatient and dreading my answer.

"I don't know how to answer that." I smash the ice cream down completely. "How do I know if I love him? How do I know if he loves me? No, he shouldn't love me. I barely know him. I mean, I know him better after last night but…"

I look up from the ice cream, to my father looking slightly pale. I can see his mind racing, and I would bet all the points in the world he's thinking that sending Adam and I home, without anyone there, wasn't the best plan.

"Are you going to throw up? Is it the ice cream? Or the thought of Adam and I-"

"NO," he barks, and I smile because he's back to his normal, scowling self. "We need to call your mother. She'll know how to handle this."

"I don't want to call her," I slump back against the booth, and he looks confused. "Please, don't. All of this, it was easy for her. All of it. She came here and she had you from the start. She knew you cared about her and her friends liked her." I stop only because there's a commotion a few booths down, and I wonder if Lucy is kicking someone out. "She's probably never felt like this at all."

"I told you, Eva. People get weird during initiation. Being stressed out changes them. Whatever Kat is going through is only made worse by keeping her secret about Zander. And Adam," my father pauses, and he struggles to speak. "All I know is he seems very happy away from Tris and Four. Which is understandable."

I nod, because I sort of guessed that. "Okay. But how did you know you loved mom? Was it like, a month after knowing her?"

"I…" my father stops, and for the first time in my life, he looks like he doesn't know what to do. "Eva, I don't know how to answer this. I just…what I felt for her, I can't describe. At the time, I couldn't even tell her. Not for a long time. It took me…it took her telling me first before I could say it. I did love her, and I loved her for longer than I was willing to admit, but at the time, I didn't want to be in love with anyone. I thought…I thought there was no way love was a real thing."

It's my turn to stare in confusion. "But everyone always talks about how much you loved her and…"

"People like to talk, especially because at the time, I refused to acknowledge what I felt," my father sighs again, and he looks right at me. "I suppose they were right. But I'd never loved anyone before your mother. I never felt anything for anyone. Some people filled spots in my life that felt fine. Acceptable. Adequate. Your mother was the first person who made me feel different. She was the only person I ever wanted to save, and…I wasn't…exactly in the business of saving people. Still, it took me a long time to tell her. Too long, probably. I'm lucky she didn't leave."

"What would you have done?" I sit up, wondering if there was more to their relationship than I knew. "What if she had left?"

"I would have gone after her. In fact, I did. We were apart, once, not by choice, and I went to find her. I vowed that I would never let anything happen to her and then I deactivated all her keycards and ordered all the guards to not let her out of the faction."

His words make me smile, though I know he's not joking.

His next words aren't joking, either.

"I don't know if Adam loves you. If I had to guess, I'd say it's all hormonal and a taste of freedom and you're…there with him…and…"

My heart sinks, and my stare falls to the table.

I wasn't planning on feeling like this, like the thought of Adam only liking me because I was convenient could press on the very delicate sliver of sanity I have left, yet here we are. To make it worse, that's the last thing I want to hear. It wasn't like my father would know what Adam was thinking, but after Adam doubting what he felt for me, hearing that it was only because he was finally alone and no one could tell him what to do was pretty disheartening.

"Eva..."

"Eric!"

This time, his name is spoken sharply, but not by me or my mother. Not by Lucy, demanding he pay the bill and we leave, but by Jason. He's rushing toward us frantically, and he takes the seat next to my father without waiting for anyone to greet him. He must have caught what my father was saying, because he looks panic stricken.

"Eric, do not tell her that. It's not…hormonal or whatever you just said. Where did you even come up with that?" Jason shakes his head at me. "Eva, ignore him. Your father is not the one to come to for any sort of romantic advice. You'd be better off asking Arlene."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" My father hisses, and I know he's stressed. "Jason, you don't even know what's going on. I found her in the shops looking like she was about to cry. Don't you dare tell her to go to Arlene. I can help. I can fix this. I'll talk to Adam myself. I can tell him what to do. If that's what Eva wants."

Jason and I both stare at him.

For a long time, there is total silence as we imagine my father, marching downstairs and yelling for Adam to come with him, only to demand he like me.

"Eric, you can't order someone to be in love with Eva. That's not…that's not how any of this works," Jason stares at him, and there's a flash of horror like he knows my father might go through with it. "Imagine if someone ordered you to love Everly."

"I do love Everly! No one can order me to do anything!" He answers back angrily, completely ignoring the point, and Jason shakes his head.

"You know what, you and Four need to take a vacation. Somewhere away from both your children until initiation is over. Maybe the two of you can go spend some time with Harrison. I just got word he's starting his own army and they're very enthused."

My father groans, and I smile. I know he's trying to help, and the only way he knows how is by ordering people around.

"It's okay. You don't have to order anyone to be in love with me. I feel way better than I did. I think…the past few days were just a lot." I try to reassure my father, well aware that I'm mostly hoping this will make him feel better. "Don't go find Adam. I don't think that would go over very well."

"By the way, everyone is acting crazy, and it's not Adam," Jason shoves my father further into the booth, effectively stopping him from finding Adam and ordering him to like me. "I heard about your breakfast, Eva."

"You talked to Four?" I look at Jason, glad he looks less frantic now. My father doesn't look much better, but that's not surprising.

"Four. Rylan. And Adam. Each one had a very different yet very similar story to tell me. It's just…a total mix-up."

"Well, look at you. The Guidance Counselor of Dauntless. Did Four work through his emotional issues or did he schedule a time to see you next week?" my father huffs, but Jason ignores him.

"What your father should be telling you, but he can't, because he's your father and a leader, is that everything will be fine but it's not your job to make sure it is. I think you feel like it is, but it's not. Four is upset because Adam doesn't want to hear what he has to say, and we have to let him be upset. He doesn't _not _like you, I think you just got the brunt of his desperation to talk to his son. Rylan said Four was horrified that he acted like that and he's been trying to think of a way to fix it all morning."

"He said…he looked at me and went…he's in love with Eva? All horrified sounding," I point out, cringing at the memory. I'd known Four forever, so this felt particularly insulting.

"It's not you. It's…Adam has a very clear idea of what he wants. Just like Four did. I think it freaks Four out," Jason answers. "He's feeling out of sorts and the added stress doesn't help. Plus, Rylan is convinced you're both going to run away together in the middle of the night."

"Are you?" My father resumes staring at me, and he slowly reaches for his phone. He stops when I shake my head no, and I only do it so he won't deactivate my keycards.

"Eric," Jason says his name warningly. "You're also stressed. I know you've been struggling since the day Eva picked Dauntless. You've just been able to hide it better."

"Did you take a psychology class in your free time or what?" My father sounds bored, and he mindlessly smooshes the ice cream into total flatness. "That's where you've been? Learning to decipher the many moods of our most angsty leader?"

"No, I just listened to you and Four talk," Jason laughs, and his stare returns to me. "Forget about Four. Eva, Adam just wants you to care about him. At the end of the day, he just wants to know that someone is looking out for him, and I'm sure he's hoping one day you will love him."

My father makes a sound like he's dying. Jason reaches over and pats his arm sympathetically and shakes his head.

"You'll live, Eric. Most people don't share your allergy to love," Jason grins, and I finally smile back at him. I hadn't been prepared for this talk, but now, I really do feel marginally better.

"And when that day happens, your father will gladly watch you get married, and he'll even offer to baby sit on weekends so you two can go out."

"Really? Is that a promise?" I look at my father, deadly serious, and he glares at me.

"Jason…is this really necessary…."

"She's not five, Eric." Jason points out, and he waits until my dad is looking at him. "The sooner you accept this, the easier it'll be to hear that a boy likes her. And Adam is most certainly not a boy. He's not some scrawny kid, either. I think, if things keep happening, he would make sure nothing ever happened to Eva."

My father pushes the spoon down hard enough I'm surprised the bowl doesn't break.

"Bottom line, everyone needs to stay out of everyone's business. Focus on work. We have security matters to go over. We were supposed to have a meeting but you didn't show up," Jason looks at my father, and he shrugs. "Four wasn't very happy that we waited a half hour for you for nothing. He said you declined his phone calls."

"I didn't feel like going."

My father's answer makes me smile, because he says it with an air of disdain, like he could just simply not show up if he wasn't in the mood.

"And I know Eva isn't five…it's just that…if Adam hurts her, I can't…" my father stops, and Jason's stare turns sympathetic.

"We know. You can't save her. But you don't have to. Not this time," Jason stares, waiting for my father to say something. He doesn't, only nods his head and sighs.

"Alright, fine. I'll just sit here. I won't say anything to Adam or Rylan or Four. Everyone can just do whatever they want. See if I care how it all turns out." My father leans back, crosses his arms over his chest, and scowls.

I smile, because even in his reluctance, he still looks defiant.

Which is fine.

I doubt he'll order Adam to fall in love with me, at least not while anyone is watching, but he's just confessed that he does care about everyone close to him, and that's enough to make my shitty mood lighten even further.

* * *

The rest of my afternoon is quiet.

I find a wide-eyed Pink sitting on my bunk, and she reaches for me the minute I'm close enough.

"Eva, where have you been?" Her hands are cold, and she pulls me down to sit by her. I shrug in response, not really sure what to say. I can't even begin to explain everything that's happened, but Pink understands. When my silence goes on longer than is comfortable, Pink hugs me, pulling me close against her, and she pats my hair reassuringly.

"I sort of…I heard about Kat and Zander. Gunner and I walked in on them fighting about telling you. They left as soon as we got here, but I think I know why you haven't been around today. Are you…are you okay about them?"

She says the words gently, and I nod against her.

It wasn't that I didn't want either of them to be happy. If Kat had found true love with Zander, and she was the reason he'd been so down lately –because they couldn't simply be together just yet, then I would be absolutely fine with it. It wasn't my business who she dated, and maybe my father was right, maybe things would be different after initiation.

At the very least, I was hoping I'd get my friend back.

"Yeah, I…I'm okay with it. I wasn't expecting it, but they're happy together. Or they were…" I trail off, and I suddenly feel very, very tired. I hadn't gotten a ton of sleep the night before, and after today, I feel drained, like I could lie down and sleep for hours. "Pink, I'm so sorry. I'm really tired. Can we talk later? I promise I'll tell you everything. I've just had…I'm sort of exhausted."

"Yeah, Eva, of course. I'm going to go find Gunner and see if he wants to get dinner later. I think he and Adam went with Aja to watch the soldiers on patrol. Zander said they could go down there if they got bored enough. I guess they did."

She lets go of me to stand up, and her smile is sympathetic. "We'll catch up on everything later. I heard a little bit from Gunner, but it sounds like you and Adam had fun in Amity. Adam was worried when you left. He said you were really upset." I nod again, and she steps back. "Okay, well enjoy your nap. I'll see you for dinner."

"I'll meet you there, Pink." I try to convince myself I'll keep this promise, and I swear I'll just lie down for an hour.

She smiles, hesitating only for a moment, then she leaves without saying anything else. I flop down onto the bed, seemingly larger and colder than I remember, and I jerk the blanket up over me. My eyes close before I can set an alarm or worry that someone will wander down here and find me dead asleep and try to kill me. Because I'm already half asleep, and I fully expect this nap to have cured everything by the time I wake up.

* * *

"Okay, so you'll jump up and reach wherever you can. Your partner will spot you for the first few feet, then join you. If you fall, you die. Sound good?"

Zander cheerfully walks down the line, pointing at the rocky structure he wants us to climb. It looms above us, a dilapidated and crumbling road concrete jungle, held up by giant supports. He'd brought us down here bright and early, clearly having a new lease on life after attending the Leadership Dinner and making out with Kat.

To the surprise of no one, we hadn't exactly talked.

Any of us.

Kat had steered clear of me for the past few days. I had awakened from my nap disoriented, only to discover I'd slept through dinner and through the night. I opened my eyes to everyone scrambling to get dressed. I joined them, ate a fast breakfast with Rachel, listening to her gush over how much fun she'd had with Aja, and I'd spent the day with her and Pink.

Zander and Karl split us up by boys versus girls, and he'd taken the boys. Karl took the girls, and we got a tour of the faction that included a few places we might not normally go. Out first stop was the armory, guarded by a scary looking man who watched us with a steely glare. Karl showed us how to check out the weapons, explained how they were accounted for, what security clearance was needed, and how to obtain such a clearance. He then showed us a terrifying room where the ammunition was kept. It was wall to wall boxes and shelves, each neatly labeled and organized. For safety reasons, none of the guns were loaded, and this made it harder for someone to wreak havoc if they fell into the wrong hands.

Karl also showed us the control room, and he left us with Kacie while she gave us a rundown over what went on here. We watched a few of the security screens, grinning when we saw my father walking along with Rylan, and Rylan gesturing wildly as they walked. Kacie showed us how to change the screens, how to select a faction, and Pink and I picked Amity to watch. It was uneventful, just a wide screen shot of the pathway, and a few kids running up and down while their parents walked them home.

I had to admit, I was a tiny bit bored in here. Rylan and Jason loved to take me up here, and it was where I learned Rylan was the faction's first, best, and most enthusiastic spy. He lived to see what others were doing, and his commentary often left those working nearby choking on their coffees. I had spent plenty of time in here with my father, too. He liked to show me everything he did, especially when I was younger, so this room wasn't anything shocking to me.

To those who didn't have the privilege of having parents in Leadership, this was all new. There were plenty of impressed stares, and even more when they were shown how to contact the patrol squads and how to see who was out where. Karl eventually cut the lesson short, only because he explained we had a few other places to stop.

The rest of our tour was less interesting. The infirmary, introducing Arlene as the forever, never dying, never smiling chief of staff, and Molly as her department manager. We were shown where the soldiers were brought in if they were injured on duty, as well as reminded that we could come down here at any time. Most had already met Arlene, but a few still needed to finish their physicals and immunizations. We were also given a tour of some of the specialty areas: the rooms where bloodwork was done, the maternity section –where someone was currently screaming at the top of their lungs, and a room with all sorts of machines that could be used in case of rare emergencies.

Arlene looked at me a few times, and I smiled, pretending to be very interested in which room you came to if you thought you had a concussion.

Karl then led us to the trucks, where we met the members who worked on them full time. We were given a brief overview on how to check out a truck, though Karl reminded everyone they were for official business only.

"Don't think you can take one out for a ride. You have to complete a driving class and pass with a ninety or higher. It's not as easy as it looks, though Four did insist we take off part of the parking section after he failed it. Twice."

He had grinned when he said this, and I wondered if he was joking or serious.

He concluded his tour by eating dinner with us, and to the surprise of no one, all anyone wanted to talk about were his kids. He smiled as girl after girl asked him about his wife, about Ethan and Evan, and I half expected him to have them brought down here. But he didn't; he did show everyone a few pictures on his phone, cheerfully explained Charlotte was finally feeling better, and he proudly announced he thought this baby would be a girl.

All in all, the day was pretty enjoyable.

The only part that bothered me was Kat stayed far away from us. I only realized she wasn't there when we went home for the day, and I took a shower and went to bed. Her bed was empty, but before I could try to figure out where she was, Pink and Rachel were by my side, asking a million questions about Adam.

He wasn't there, either.

He and his friends hadn't returned from Zander's class, and they still weren't back by the time we went to sleep.

He was here now, right beside me, nudging me toward the wall as my official survival training partner.

"Wanna race? Or has your father already taught you how to do this?" He glances at me casually, having ditched his jacket and his friends.

"I guess you'll find out," I grin, and I glance up at the concrete. There are several broken sections where you can reach and pull yourself up, and a few spots to stand on. It's a little intimidating, but not impossible. "What do I get when I win?"

"_When _you win? Not on your life, Eva."

I take off before he can, and his laugh is drowned out by the shrieks as everyone begins climbing. I reach for the first spot I can grab, arguably lower than everyone else, but I'm not stressed.

I have climbed this.

Multiple times.

Eric Coulter was nothing if not a thorough leader and father.

When I was three, I learned how to climb such a thing on a smaller scale. He and Rylan cheered me on, and from what I heard, their triumphant praise was all the encouragement I needed. By six, I got to practice on the one in the training room. It wasn't used anymore unless someone wanted extra practice, so he took me there. I practiced until I could scale it with my eyes closed and repel down without a single ounce of fear.

When I was ten, he took me outside.

The first time was a little scary, only because I knew there was nothing to fall on. My father stayed right by me, reassuring me he'd catch me, but I never slipped. Not even once. We did it over and over, until someone told my mother. I can remember their argument over this, and how she'd like to see me live until at least eleven, but my father stood his ground.

The next day, the three of us came out here together.

I half expected my mother to stand there, arms crossed and a grimace on her face, but she came right along with us. She was fast, not as fast as me, but faster than my father, and when she reached the top, she groaned that it was easier when she was eighteen.

"Eva, shit! Slow down!"

Adam swears from somewhere below me, and I laugh. My fingers grasp another rocky area, and I pull myself up easily. I might not have been able to do thirty pull ups, but with the help of the places to stand on, I had some leverage. I keep going, every so often sneaking a peek downward, and the ground grows dizzyingly far. I pay little attention to the people around us; I know if I look, I'll see Pink and Rachel a few spots down, and Gunner and Aja competing against each other.

It's only more motivation to keep going.

"Are you getting tired, Adam? Do you need to stop?" For a second, my feet swing into nothingness, and if I slipped, I would plummet a good twenty feet. I would land on the mats that Zander had a few soldiers drag out here, but I'd been warned that it was likely I'd still break something. "Really, what do I get when I win?"

I find my footing, and before I know it, another ten feet is beneath me. There's a flash of a sharp, burning sting as my hand grazes a sharper chunk of concrete, but it quickly goes away.

"Nothing, because you aren't going to win!"

I glance down once, to see the top of Adam's head near my feet.

"Shit!" I pull myself up higher, trying to work faster. If I fell from this point, I'd probably die. But the top of the structure is within reach, and we've been told Karl is at the top to pull everyone up.

"Eva! Here! You got it!"

And there he is.

I feel his hands grasp my wrist, then forearm, and he easily pulls me up the last foot. My knees hit old, uneven pavement, and Karl grins in triumph.

"You're the first one up here. Shocker," Karl laughs, and he leans over the edge to look down. "You're almost there, Adam. Nice work, Eva. It's almost like you've done this before."

"Thanks," I grin, and I sit back, watching as Adam's hands reach for the top. There's a second of fumbling for something to grasp onto, but Karl is there, pulling him up to make sure he doesn't fall.

"Great job," Karl grins, but Adam doesn't look thrilled as he climbs over onto the top. He's sort of sweaty, and he pushes his hair off his forehead in annoyance.

"I didn't need your help," he looks at Karl, then me, and I know he's a little bothered that I was first. "I could have done it on my own."

"Safety regulations, Eaton. Put in place by your old man. He approved the outdoor training, but we have to make sure no one really dies. Zander stays at the bottom, I stay at the top, and if we think you'll fall, you don't get to climb. All initiates are helped over the edge whether they need it or not. I helped Eva up, too. Don't be mad at me because she kicked your ass."

Adam isn't reassured at all. I smile brightly at him, and though he really doesn't want to, he smiles back. His lips turn up just a bit, but he looks at me suspiciously.

"How many times have you scaled this wall, Evangelina Coulter? It seemed a little too easy for you."

I examine my hands, frowning at the one I must have scraped on my climb up here. "Probably over two hundred times. You really think my dad wouldn't have trained me for this? From what I heard, he invented this exercise."

"He did," Karl interjects, glancing up from his perch on the edge. "He had your mom climb it and no one knew. The rest of us climbed the ones inside. Four was so mad. Those two came in, all smug and arrogant that they'd been out here, then Everly did the one inside. Beat everyone around her. Four wasn't happy at all. He made us scale the damn thing a thousand times, just in case Eric brought Everly back."

"I bet," Adam flops down on the ground next to me, giving up on his annoyance over being second. "Your hand is bleeding."

Before I can tell him it's fine, he takes my hand in his and turns it over to look at my fingers. It's not bad, but it's deeper than I thought.

"I didn't really notice. I must have cut it on something" I stare at my hand in his, and I find myself unable to do anything but stare down at our hands together. My hands had touched him a lot of places these days –his jaw, his neck, his chest, but somehow this feels even more intimate. "But really, what do I win? You were so sure you'd beat me."

He looks right at me, then his eyes flash to Karl. Karl is busy encouraging someone to keep going, and he tells them they only have a few more feet to go as he prepares to pull them up.

"Fine, Coulter. You win. This one."

He leans in and his lips touch mine before I realize what he's doing. His kisses me for only a few seconds, but it's enough to make my chest tighten. He breaks away just as Karl yells for Gunner to pull himself up another foot and he looks at me. Really looks at me. Adam's eyes are bright blue, and his grin is pretty smug.

I can't help but smile back at him.

Stupidly.

It might not be love, but in this moment, the way he's looking at me, it almost doesn't matter.

* * *

"Eva, where are you going?"

My fun and cheerful mood from today came to a screeching halt once I'd taken a shower. Zander had dismissed us a few minutes early, and I'd walked back with Pink and Rachel to clean up. I dressed quickly, planning on eating dinner with them and maybe finding Kat and hoping to talk to her.

I did find her, but she was clearly in no mood to talk. In fact, she full on glared at me, her eyes narrowed in sheer annoyance and her lips pressed together as she leaned over to whisper something to Brexley.

My eyes had widened, and the betrayal was instant.

It wasn't that I would have found her and yelled at her for dating Zander. In a weird way, I'd come to realize that I couldn't stop them even if I tried. Zander was who he was, and she found that appealing. Ironically enough, she'd spent her time in Dauntless trying to prove how brave and edgy and fearless she was, and the guy she fell for could have cared less about any of that. Zander liked people for who they were, and I would bet he liked the Kat who was determined to make it here, not the one who was currently ignoring me.

"I, um, I just wanted to go…outside for a while."

I turn to look up at Adam, his dark jacket unzipped and his stare worried.

I'd run into him after dinner, walking the same direction I was. We weren't supposed to be wandering outside with the security threats, but I took that to mean past the gates. The Dauntless faction itself was very safe, and I would be incredibly surprised if anyone were to get through our walls of defense.

"By yourself?"

He raises an eyebrow at me, and I'm reminded of the time I ran into him while trying to tell my father I had a jacket on. He's tall and handsome, and he's looking at me like he knows all my secrets and then some.

"Did something happen at dinner? Was it…was it Kat sitting by the girls she's never spoken to before? And staring at you the whole time?"

He's also awfully observant.

"Yeah, yeah it's that. I just…" I pause, and I reach for his hand without thinking. "I wanted to do something fun. Get out for a minute."

"Does your father know this?" Adam asks, but he's joking. "Will he approve? It's about to get pretty dark out there."

I stare up at him, wishing that for just a few days, I could see what it was like to just be with him and only him. I've never felt this way toward anyone before, but I'd never had the chance. I like the idea of him and I, away from here, without anyone paying attention to us.

"You want to go with me?" I ask, and his fingers slide through mine. "There's a train coming in fifteen minutes. It slows down near the back entrance. We could go to Erudite. Their shops are open late. Camille used to take me to this coffee shop."

"Doesn't everyone in Erudite go to bed at like, six pm?" Adam laughs, but his hand stays on mine, warm and strong. "Also, won't that set your father off into a total panic?"

I shake my head. I'd told my dad I needed some space, and I had a feeling he'd respect that. Or he wouldn't, and he'd find Adam and I and decide the two of us should get married just so he could stop worrying. "He's…busy. I think we can go without him noticing."

"You really want to go to Erudite? We have coffee here. There's even the one with the nitro coffee that Jason was losing his mind over," Adam steps even closer, until he's right beside me, and his arm is touching mine. He's warm, and for a second, I close my eyes.

If we leave now, we could be back by midnight. No one would notice we were gone, and for these few hours, it would be only us.

"Yes."

When I open my eyes, Adam nods at me, and his grip tightens until our palms are pressed completely together.

"Alright, you lead the way."


	19. Chapter 19

Thanks so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

* * *

Erudite is cold.

Really cold.

I'd half forgotten that it was different being outside not dressed for outdoor training, and I swear the temperature drops every few minutes.

Adam and I had left Dauntless immediately after talking. There was no hesitation on his part, only a sly smile that he was willing to go with me on this adventure, even if it meant we might get in a small amount of trouble for leaving and not telling anyone.

He didn't care.

The two of us walked right out the back of Dauntless, past weary soldiers returning from patrol and the few lone mechanics working on the trucks. We'd walked through the large doors, past the generators, right toward the train tracks until we could hear the train approaching. It wasn't a commonly used area that I knew of; anyone leaving Dauntless would take a truck or wait until there was a scheduled time to leave for the market or faction of their choice, but I knew the trains ran endlessly.

I also knew their schedule pretty well.

My father was nothing if not prepared. As a parent, he wanted me to have every option just in case something happened. Were I to ever be out of Dauntless and needed to get back, I knew where the trains slowed down enough to jump on. As my father, he didn't love the idea of me being out of Dauntless and needing to catch a train, but he had to admit it was jump or walk.

The one we took sped to Erudite in the blink of an eye. It was fast and freezing, and the train car was deserted except for us. Neither Adam nor I spoke; we both stood close to the doors, watching the dark forests blur by until the landscaping began to change. It became less woodsy, and more manicured, until the lush faction of Erudite slowly blossomed into sight.

Adam jumped when I told him to. We landed easily, the train having slowed down to curve around the faction, and his hand never let go of mine.

"You sure this place is open?"

Adam looks down at me, waiting as I try to fix my hair. I wasn't planning on running into anyone I knew here. I knew Daniel and Camille would more than likely be at home. If I called, they'd either come down and meet us or invite us over, but then my father might be angry if he found out they knew we were here and he didn't. I knew a few other families in Erudite –friends of my grandparents who had grandchildren my age, but I didn't think any of them would recognize us if we bumped into them.

At least I hoped no one would.

"It's open super late. The labs are sometimes open all night, depending on what they're working on. So is the hospital. We could always go there if this happens to be closed…" I trail off when he adjusts his grip on mine, tighter, and I realize grabbing a coffee at their massive medical center probably wasn't what he had in mind. "There's a street of shops up ahead. It's really cool. In the winter, they decorate it."

"For what?"

Adam leads the way, though he doesn't know where we're going. He's been to Erudite a few times, always with my family, always immediately escorted to my grandparent's house or wherever we were eating, but it's hard to miss where we should be heading.

Not far from us are bright lights, all white, twinkling around the streetlights. The intersection is lit up with elegant decorations, and just past it, lie streets of shops and restaurants before the business section of the faction.

"I don't know, winter?" I guess, laughing when he rolls his eyes at the few tasteful wreaths they'd hung up.

I follow him toward the street, watching as the busiest section of Erudite slowly comes into view.

My grandpa had tried to make the Erudite faction appear the most appealing of all. He had always hinted that he'd love for me to live here, and I'm sure he would have given me anything I'd wanted to make sure that happened. I had to admit, Erudite was pretty, and it was sort of special.

Unlike Dauntless, Erudite was above ground, and all the buildings oozed with an air of self-importance. There were lots of metals, lots of silvers that reflected the sunlight, and almost everything was white. The floors were buffed and polished, so slippery that no matter what shoes you wore, you seemed to slide on them, and the ceilings were high. Every building had high ceilings, as though Erudite contained so much knowledge that it needed more space to breathe.

The people were the same way. I found them to act far superior than everyone else, and they treated everything like a formal occasion. Even their most causal restaurant was upscale, and they often frowned if you were under thirty and dining there. Rylan and I both tried to beg off anytime my father announced we were eating in one of their bougie, snooty establishments, but everyone seemed to like it because they offered endless breadsticks. They handed them out like we were here to steal them, sparingly, until Rylan had scowled and ordered them to bring them out without stopping.

They did give him a lecture on how they were made, and I got the feeling it was hard for them not to share this wealth of knowledge with us.

I didn't love any of that. Not the judgement that they were better than us, not the intimidating building where my grandfather worked, not the labs or Cara's sprawling offices, the meeting rooms that felt colder than cold, or being looked at like we were total heathens because our outfits were all black.

I did like the shops.

My grandmother and I often came to this street, not just when I was little, and it was her favorite part of Erudite, too. Here, you could buy almost anything you could think of, if you had enough points. I quickly learned the shops were more expensive than those in Dauntless, and the clothes were different, too. They weren't the dark fabrics Christian liked, or the trendy, slouchy fitted styles he created. These clothes were sharp, all blues and royal blues, and seriously intense.

I try to imagine wearing any of them; particularly the formally tailored dress that buttoned up high enough that I could feel it choking my throat, or the matching shoes that were just as structured. I knew from hugging my grandmother the clothes were heavy and well made, but constricting, and I imagined it would be easy to feel like you were suffocating in them.

I catch Adam staring at the business coats with a critical eye.

"Do you want a jacket? That store is open if you want to go in," I point to the one we're walking past, having noticed Adam staring at the orderly display, and he nods his head a few times.

"Oh yeah, blue is really my color. And jokes on you, I already ordered us jackets from there. I thought they'd look great while we finish initiation," Adam answers easily, glancing back once more with an unimpressed stare. His own jacket is dark, as dark as mine –which is also his, and fitted. He'd zipped it up only when we jumped, and he kept it that way as the chill in the air increased. His hair is slightly messed up from the wind, and he shakes it back into place when he sees his reflection. "We can match."

"I'm sure everyone will love that," I smile widely, and before I can say anything else, we're here.

We reach my most favorite part of Erudite: the wide street with all the stores, full of people shopping and walking around, beneath painfully crafted glass snowflakes that glimmer with a tiny reflection of Adam and me.

* * *

"We don't have to go cups. They aren't environmentally friendly. We do have a reusable cup you can buy. It comes with a free drink and the new cups feature the Erudite logo on them."

The woman taking our order stares at us. Her all white uniform is so pristine that it's hard to believe she works here. In Dauntless, our baristas often looked like they were returning from war. There was no official uniform other than black, maybe an apron thrown over their own clothes, and no regulations for hair and makeup. This woman is so well put together, it's nearly impossible to believe she's working here.

But from the way she's watching Adam look at the menu, I can tell she feels the same way.

"No, we're good. I don't think we can bring any Erudite propaganda back," Adam shrugs.

"Well, then you have to drink your coffee here, in the Erudite faction," she stares at us intensely, and for someone so smart, it's like she's just realized we aren't from Erudite. "Do you even have cards? How are you paying…"

"Yes, we do," I answer before Adam can look up from the selection of imported, yet still locally grown espresso bean varieties, and I reach for the heavy card my father had given me. "Here. I'll have an iced latte. Adam?"

"Just a black coffee. Wait, don't use that. I can pay."

"Wonderful," the woman working reaches for my card while Adam fumbles for his, and she types quickly on her tablet. A second later, she swipes my card, and the approval is instantaneous. "Enjoy. Your drinks will be at the counter. They'll call you when they're ready. What are your names?"

She dismisses us the second I give her both our first and last names, and she pauses to watch us weave our way over to where everyone is waiting.

The coffee shop, a pretty place named Café de Flore, was a little out of the ordinary for Erudite. For starters, it was open all day and all night. You could eat breakfast and lunch here, but at night it shifted into a cozy place to sip specialty drinks. It had an aura of being somewhere else, somewhere far, far away, which meant the drinks were twice as much as in Dauntless and half the size.

The café is familiar, but not at all like Clyde's or any of our coffee shops. It's brightly lit with warm lighting, and the walls are shockingly not white. They've been painted to resemble a tan marble color, with a faint design that can only be seen if you're really looking at them. The majority of the room is filled with deep red booths, where plenty of people are sitting and working on their tablets, and the rest houses plenty of tables, neatly decorated with white flowers.

"Coulter!"

"Hey, I'll grab our drinks," I turn to find Adam, and he nods.

"I'll find us a table," he grins, watching me for a second longer. Then he looks to the side, stopping briefly on a few people arguing over something they're working on. Despite the crowd and the people working, the atmosphere is upbeat. It feels somewhat secretive and exclusive, like you had to be in some special club to be here.

I smile back at Adam before I leave him to head to the counter. The girl waiting beams brightly at me, neatly setting up an array of drinks on the counter. I see the one I think is mine, but she pulls the drink back when I reach for it. "I'm sorry. What's your name? Is it Coulter?"

"Yeah?" I pull my own hand back in confusion, because someone else reaches for the drink at the same time. "Oh! Sorry, is this yours?"

"Excuse me."

When I turn to look, I'm rewarded with one cool glance. The woman beside me is tall, perfectly dressed, perfectly elegant, and staring at me like she's seen a ghost. That's the only way I can think to describe her slightly startled expression. It only takes her a second to compose herself; she blinks, then looks me up and down and tilts her head to the side. Her blonde hair is cut to her jaw, perfectly smooth, and not a single strand out of place. The earrings she has on are large and expensive, and they match her bracelets.

She doesn't give off a friendly vibe at all, and she's exactly what I imagine when I think of someone working in Erudite.

"My apologies, but I believe that one's mine. Unless your name is Coulter."

She speaks carefully, glancing over with such an intensity that I'm tempted to step back, but I don't. I look back at her with the odd feeling that I know her, or _should_ know her, though I can't put my finger on why. Her eyes are light, but they are narrowed, much like my father's when he sees someone he doesn't like.

Which is most people.

"Um, no it's Eva. I'm sorry, is this your drink? I thought they called my name," I smile politely, and she stares for another moment.

"Eva? Eva…Coulter? That's your name?" She steps closer, and behind the counter, the girl is confused.

"Coulter! This drink is for…"

"It's for me. Thank you, Cecile." The woman reaches for the cup before the girl can finish speaking. There's no name on the cup, and she looks down at me with a familiar patience. I've seen this look before, not particularly annoyed, but like she's carefully putting something together and is undecided on how to feel about it.

Jason had this look a lot. Usually when Rylan suggested the lower floors weren't haunted, and Jason has simply watched too many scary movies.

"Eva, did you get your drink? I found us a table."

The woman beside me turns at the sound of his voice. Her gaze flies up from me, to Adam -smiling while he announces the news. The café is crowded, and no one looks ready to leave, so he looks pleased to be telling me this. His pleased expression turns confused when the woman stares at him, and she still doesn't move.

"What's your name? Are you with her?" She looks right at him, and her tone implies she expects an answer.

Adam stares back, and a second later, he shrugs at her perusal of him. He towers over both of us, and his dark jeans and mostly undone boot laces are clear signs he's not from here.

"Adam, and uh, do we…know you?"

She blinks again.

I do, too. I should be celebrating that he just called us a _we_. He said it so easily, like she should have assumed we were together, but all I can focus on is if I've met her before.

"No, you don't. And my apologies, I was thrown off. Not many people have the last name Coulter," she speaks to both of us, clearly unbothered now that she has her coffee. "There must have been a mix up with the drinks. Enjoy your evening."

"Thanks," Adam and I both answer her, and the two of us sound confused. Her reply is a sharp dismissal, and she turns away as the barista calls our names.

"Adam and Eva!"

"I'll grab them," Adam moves before I can, and I watch as the woman approaches a man waiting for her. I don't recognize him at all; he's tall and well dressed, probably more dressed up than anyone here, and he looks over at me once she's by his side. He smiles from across the room, mostly friendly, and I watch him say her name. I can't hear him, but I can make out what he's said, clear as day, because he's looking right at me, and his stare stays there.

_Blythe._

* * *

"Eva…do you think you'll forgive Kat? Because I know she's bugging you and it keeps getting worse and worse."

I look up from my drink to Adam sitting across from me. The table he'd found was outside by a heater, and it was lit up by glowing candles and tiny lights woven through the sculpted green shrubbery. In the lighting, and seated at this tiny table, Adam looks entirely different to me. His cheekbones look higher, his face is even more appealing, and his eyes are focused solely on me.

Surrounded by the faint hints of people talking all around us, the warm bubble of togetherness, and the smell of the expensive, swanky coffee, I could see why this place was so crowded. It felt very easy to forget everything but what was going on now, and Dauntless was the last thing I was thinking about. I had been mulling over if the woman was really Blythe, or maybe the man had said something else. I'd even considered that the odds of bumping into someone named Blythe with the last name Coulter were slim to none, but I had the feeling I had met her.

My grandfather's first wife.

It felt terribly odd to be related to someone and to have never heard of their existence before. No one really spoke about her, and if I had to guess, I'd assume once they divorced, she had cut everyone from her life. She didn't look particularly thrilled, but then again, I'd never met her before. No one shared any fun anecdotes about her, or ever brought her up, even to make an example out of her. I only heard her name spoken sourly by whoever said it. She didn't seem entirely awful if it had been her, but we'd only interacted for all of thirty seconds.

I wonder if she knew who I was.

I shake that thought away now, focusing on Adam's boot kicking mine, and he grins when I lock eyes with him.

I smile back.

I no longer thought he would dump me.

Especially not after falling asleep against him with almost nothing between us, and especially not when he looked at me like this. Happy to be here, but concerned about my general wellbeing.

Which was nice.

The only person my age ever concerned about me was Pink, or maybe Nikolai, making sure we stayed on good terms so I could listen to him rant about his mother.

"Kat is officially on my last nerve," I announce, taking a sip of my coffee. "I can understand her being with Zander. I can understand her not wanting to tell me. I'm not even mad about that. But the rest was obnoxious. She didn't need to say any of it. I know she doesn't like us together, but she had the nerve to tell me things should be moving faster."

"Oh really?" Adam looks surprised at this, but for a moment, he struggles not to laugh. "How fast? Should I have proposed by now? Did you tell her I already did and you turned me down in Amity? Said the moment had passed."

"You were not serious!" I laugh at the smirk on his face, and I shake my head as I throw my straw wrapper at him. For a place so concerned with to go cups, they'd gone all out to make sure their logo was printed all over the straw and the wrapper. "You knew my mother wasn't listening. You don't want to get married. We haven't even finished initiation."

"Yeah, don't remind me. I was enjoying pretending we didn't have to be there tomorrow," Adam takes a sip of his own drink, and his eyes fall to my hands on my cup. "I just…I wanted to tell you that everyone knows Kat is stressed, but they all think she's being unfair to you. So, just don't feel bad about her. I don't know how you're so nice to her."

"Who's everyone? Gunner and Aja?" I shrug, and behind me, there's a quiet smatter of laugher. "I appreciate everyone being concerned. She hasn't been very nice. I just kept thinking she'd get over it. It didn't seem worth fighting over. Until she…went off on me. Maybe I am too nice. It's easier to be kind than not, but I don't know if it's worth it anymore."

Adam stares for a moment, processing what I've said, and he nods. "You're very kind Eva. I guess I could work on being kinder."

I wonder if he's talking about his father, or if he means Kat.

"You are kind. Most people would have punched Kat in the face over what she said. She probably will apologize when you see her next. Or after initiation," I look at his hands, and he shakes his head.

"She won't say anything to me. I bet everything once we're done and things are back to normal, she'll find you and want to talk. But that doesn't excuse it now." Adam looks up at the sky, and he sighs after a minute of staring up into the dark. "For real, how fast is she talking? Is she, like…married to Zander or something?"

"Who knows?" I shrug. "Probably. I'm sure they're…very….uh…into each other and I haven't seen her at night. Not that I would, but you know what I mean. I've been…. sleeping elsewhere."

"Sounds scandalous. What have you been doing while you were supposed to sleeping, Eva?" Adam teases me over his coffee cup, and he sets it down as someone pauses to ask how our drinks are. "Whatever will the neighbors think?"

I crack up, half choking on the coffee, because I would bet his mother had uttered those words at him before. Ironically, we had been the neighbors she was talking about, but my parents probably wouldn't have been phased by whatever he was doing.

"What do they think?" I ask casually. "Was Gunner mad that he didn't have you all to himself at the dinner?"

"Oh, he's devastated. Took him a long time to get over it," Adam laughs. "Actually, Gunner thinks…he likes you a lot. He said he likes you and I together, and he's hoping it stays that way. He wanted me to tell you how I felt earlier. Aja is good with it, but he's busy doing his best to figure out how to get Rachel to marry him before she realizes he can't actually do that many pushups. Gunner keeps telling him to cool it, that he doesn't need to finalize anything right now. They're both…oddly good with telling others how they feel."

"Would you have told me earlier?" I look back at him, and I suddenly wish we could stay here all night. It's far different to be in an entirely different faction with just him, and not a single person around cares who we are. Most haven't even blinked in our direction, and the only concerned stares are from the staff, worried that we'll take their cups back to Dauntless. "And I think Kat will come around, but I don't know if I'll get over it so easily. She's been pretty mean."

"You definitely don't deserve it, Eva." Adam points out in an oddly concerned way, like he's been thinking this over, and he leans back in his chair. "I think maybe I would have told you earlier, but it never felt right. There was always someone or something going on. I wanted to make sure it was just you and I in case you laughed in my face."

"I wouldn't have laughed in your face!" I feel a flash of appreciation that he felt the same way I had. "I was pretty sure you were going to tell me that it was over. I had visions of eating by Ethan and Evan."

"At least they didn't throw up this year," Adam's expression changes to relief. It's funny, because he'd looked pretty confident for most of our time together, but it's nice to know he'd been as nervous as I had been. "Eva, do you feel better? Now that we're here?"

"I do!" I look around, admiring how pretty this café is, and how it's not at all like coming here with my grandmother. "This was just what I needed. And…. I'm really happy you came with me."

He smiles in response, toying with the glass coffee cup for a minute. Adam is quiet, sinking further into the seat, and he finally looks right at me.

"I couldn't have imagined letting you go alone."

His words make me feel warm and happy, and I suddenly can't imagine coming here alone, either.

I also can't imagine coming here with anyone other than him.

* * *

"We should probably go."

I look up at Adam, and the lack of enthusiasm on his face matches exactly how I'm feeling.

"Unless you're planning on walking back to Dauntless, which is further than you're thinking it is. You said the train is at eleven thirty?" Adam glances at his phone, and he scrunches up his face. "Shit. Actually, how fast can you run, because we have five minutes to get there."

"What!" I whirl around, crashing into him in total shock. "Five minutes! Adam, we can't make it back there that fast!"

His eyes lock on mine, and we stand there, in the middle of the warm café, staring at each other.

My night had been one of the best ones I'd ever had. We weren't dressed up all fancy, we weren't on a ride that my grandfather had built, or watching Rylan try to convince Four they should be roommates. We got the chance to sit and slowly sip our coffees, with nothing to do but watch the people around us. Every so often, I would look back at Adam to find him sheepishly looking at me, but it didn't make me nervous the way I thought it would.

It felt right.

Totally and one hundred percent right to be here with him.

We'd stayed longer than I planned because I wasn't watching the time. I hadn't even looked at my phone, and we'd only gotten up to turn our coffee cups back in. I fully expected it to be ten thirty, maybe eleven, and I figured we could spend some time walking back to where the train would pass through.

While I didn't visit my grandparents by train often, in an emergency, I knew how to get there and back. I had thought my plan to visit Erudite was pretty fool proof because of this. I certainly wasn't planning on missing the last one for the night.

It wasn't entirely the end of the world, but it could be. We could wait it out, but the later it got, the more noticeable our return to Dauntless would be.

"Um…okay, well…" I look around, breaking my stare from Adam's, and I try to think logically. "Um, I'll call someone."

"Who?" Adam steps closer to let someone by him, and his boots hit mine. "I think everyone we know who could come to Erudite is asleep. What time is the next one?"

"One thirty," I answer lowly, hoping he can't hear me.

He can.

"Okay, so definitely late. We'd get back after two, which means…"

"The guards will be out, watching. I'm sure they'll notice us arriving back then. I figured we'd be fine if we were back by midnight since it's pretty quiet then." I chew on my lip, stalling for time while I wrack my brain for an idea.

What neither of us wanted to say out loud was we needed someone who could drive a truck to Erudite to come get us. If we couldn't make it to the train in time, and since there was no way we could get there in five minutes, we'd be stuck here until after one in the morning. That meant returning to Dauntless, hoping the guards patrolling outside weren't bored enough to focus on us walking back in, and if luck was on our side, going to bed sometime after two only to arise at six or seven before spending the day in initiation.

I felt a flash of guilt because I hadn't planned on Adam to be stuck here until one, and while I was willing to suffer on little sleep, it wasn't entirely fair to Adam. Nor did I really want to deal with the guards. Depending on who was out there, they'd either wave us in, stop us and ask where we were going, or alert my father that I'd left Dauntless with Adam.

Or worse, they'd wake up Adam's parents to come meet us at the gates.

I quickly go over my options, trying to figure out which one is the best. I could always call my father, who I'm sure would come get us, but I'd never hear the end of it. There was my mother, but she didn't know how to drive the trucks and would have to wake my father up. We could call Adam's father, though I doubted Adam would get in the truck with him. Rylan, though everyone preferred not to let him check the trucks out. Karl, who was probably dead to the world after putting Ethan and Evan to bed, or maybe Nikolai's mother, though she'd most definitely report us as being out of the faction in the middle of the night during a high security time.

That left Jason, who might be up, and would be willing to cover for us. I feel a rush of triumph, realizing he's the best and only option.

"I'll call Jason," I answer brightly, and Adam stares. His head tilts, and I realize he knows something I don't. "What? Is he…is he here? I shouldn't call him?"

"He and Meghan are…. going through something. They're probably both asleep. We can't call him," Adam shrugs, and the look on his face tells me he and Jason have had a few talks about things other than Adam's parents. "Nothing bad. Don't look so worried. We'll just…"

He stops talking, and his eyes focus on someone behind me.

"We'll just what? You said it's a far walk back." I look at him, and I hope he's not pissed off. Go figure that I would wind up ruining this evening because I was enjoying it. "I'm so sorry. This is totally my fault. I was sure we'd have enough time!" I pause, and I decide I'll just call my father and accept the fate of one very silent drive back to Dauntless. "Adam!"

I say his name insistently, but he's looking at someone.

"Eva, if we're super lucky, I think there's one more person who can take us home and no one will know we left."

I turn around, half expecting to see my father already here, but I don't.

Instead, I see my grandpa, standing there looking right at us.

* * *

"You two were really in Erudite, and you didn't call? How long were you here?"

My grandfather says the words into my hair, and he smells like hospital grade disinfectant. He hugs me tightly, his scrubs a darker shade of blue beneath his jacket, warm and softer than one would expect against my cheek.

"Just a few hours. We didn't tell anyone we left," I confess, not pulling away from him. I keep my arms around him, holding on until I lift my head up. "I wanted to get out for awhile, and Adam came with me. I needed a break and my father had basically ordered me to stay in Dauntless over some security issue going on."

"Ah, yes. I got the same alert. They're discouraging travel between factions unless absolutely necessary. I'm going to guess a late night coffee run with your uh, fiancé wouldn't fall on that list."

I look at him in total horror, but he's grinning. He clearly had been listening when I told my mother to start the rumor that I wasn't engaged.

"I'm just teasing you. Adam, how are you? Did you enjoy your visit?"

"Hi…Dr. Coulter," Adam greets him hesitantly. "Yeah, it was…great, actually."

My grandfather shakes his head.

"Daniel is fine. It's nice to see you, Adam. I thought the two of you looked a little out of place when I walked in. Took me a minute to realize who I was looking at." My grandpa lets go of me, and he glances around. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine! We just missed the train back," I look at Adam, and he smiles, totally unbothered by this turn of events. "The last time it slows down is eleven thirty, then not again until one thirty. I wasn't paying attention, which means we'll be back at Dauntless sometime around two. Which is late, and the guards will definitely notice."

"Do you have class tomorrow?" He peers down at me, then pushes his glasses back up his nose when I nod. "Well, then it's your lucky day. I have a car waiting outside. I can have them swing you by Dauntless. Your father will never know."

The relief is immediate.

"Are you sure? We could just wait. I wasn't looking at the time, either." Adam steps closer to Daniel, more at ease now, and he stares curiously. "Why are you up? Isn't it late for you?"

"It is," Daniel nods. "I had an emergency surgery called in, and I was the only one still awake. Camille and I went to dinner late and I stayed up to catch up on a few emails. I got the call around nine. Just finished up. Thought I'd grab some of this coffee Camille likes for tomorrow since we ran out."

"Are you sure we won't be keeping you up even later?" I'm still tempted to call my dad, but I have a feeling he'll have lots of questions and I won't have any good answers for him.

I'd also be risking him taking the opportunity to demand Adam fall in love with me.

"Don't call your father," Daniel is a mind reader. "He'll just worry that something could have happened while you were here. I'll take you home. It's a nice drive to Dauntless, anyway. Plus, I have a security clearance. We can drive right up to where the trucks park and the guards won't even see you."

"Alright," I agree, because if anything, it's more time I get to spend with my grandpa.

"Adam?"

"I'm good with it," Adam reaches for my hand, and his fingers slide between mine. "We'll wait for you to get your coffee."

"Two minutes. I already called it in," Daniel grins, and he heads past us, toward the counter. "Be right back. Don't go anywhere."

"I guess we are super lucky," I turn to Adam, but he's not listening to me.

He's not even next to me anymore.

He's standing a few steps away now, talking to Blythe.


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Major thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and Zander's outtake! So glad that most of you liked them. Special thanks to the people who hate this story with the fire of a thousand suns, yet still read it. I admire your dedication, commitment, and effort.

Special thanks to my father, for giving me my 98th laptop, and Bamberlee for patiently waiting while I figured out how to reinstall every single thing on here, including my email, where she sent this chapter.

Have a great weekend!

* * *

I watch them.

All around me, the noise rises, reaching a level unheard of for Erudite, especially at such a late hour. The only thing I can hear is a woman pushing past me, and the sound of my own heart beating as Adam steps away with them. The blood pumps louder when he glances back once, and I watch him head to the side with the woman I think might be my grandmother.

She looks oddly pleased at this development. Her blonde hair tilts as she looks up at him, her eyes narrow, and I know that she isn't my grandmother, not really. Even if I was related to this woman, she'd never held me, never walked me down to these stores, or let me spend the night because I just didn't want to go back home. She'd never shown up for any of my school performances, like the one time Rylan suggested our theatre club perform a musical number about a man eating plant and actually convinced them to do it, and she'd certainly never shown up for any of my birthdays.

I find myself unable to move when she smiles at him –tightly and with pained pleasantry, like someone had coached her on how to be believably polite when she didn't want to –before she nods back to her companion when Adam turns to look for me.

We lock eyes, and his worry mirrors mine.

The man accompanying Blythe says something to get his attention; he seems nice enough from what I can tell. His brown hair is neatly cut and his face is pretty unassuming. He glances over to see me staring, then throws another quick smile in my direction. It's not as cold as Blythe's had been, but it's more slick. A little too knowing for my liking. My stomach tightens when his stare lingers, but it doesn't last long. Blythe and Adam talk for another moment, then her friend escorts her out of the café before Daniel can return.

My gaze whips back to my grandpa standing in line, patiently waiting for Camille's coffee, and I wonder if he saw her. I wonder if they bumped into each other often, and if they did, did they simply pretend the other didn't exist?

I couldn't quite imagine my grandfather acting that way. He was always very cordial and seemed to know everyone in Erudite, but he'd also never told me a single thing about her. It was weird that he hadn't noticed her, unless he was purposely ignoring her existence.

Something doesn't feel right about this whole thing.

It all feels off. My brain works overtime to put a name to the man's face, but I come up with nothing, only annoying frustration.

"Hey!"

Adam's voice startles my attention back to him, now by my side and reaching for me. His touch brings me back to Earth, and I crane my head to look up at him.

"Is that…is she…" I ask quickly, words that make no sense, but he somehow understands.

"Yeah, I think so. She didn't tell me her name, but she asked me if you were Eric's daughter. I told her yes, but I wish I hadn't. I didn't know who she was until the guy came to get her. I think he knew you, too." Adam looks apprehensive, and his eyes flick back to the door. "He kept asking if we were staying long."

"Did she say anything else?" I look up at him, and I have the urge to run after her and demand to know who she is. "Did she tell you she knew me? What about that guy?"

"Honestly, Eva, she looked kind of nauseous." Adam's grip tightens on me, like he can sense that I want to head after her and ask her all these things myself. "I know you were hoping for an explanation or something, but I don't think you're getting one. I don't know who the guy was. He's way younger than her. Kinda shifty."

I nod, wishing I knew where they were going.

The little I knew about Blythe told me no one was too keen on her and getting involved probably wouldn't end very well. Running out there and demanding she tell me who she was would only make me look foolish, but there was something so strange about seeing her that made me feel oddly uneasy.

"I'm not really sure what I expected…" I trail off as Adam closes the distance between us, and he pulls me against his side. "I guess I was bound to run into her sometime." I try to forget about Blythe, and instead focus on Adam. He's cold from being by the door, and I shut my eyes while he whispers something only I can hear.

"I'm guessing she didn't want us to ask any questions. From what I heard from my mom, your…_Blythe _never liked anyone in your family. Maybe she doesn't want you to go home and ask about her."

He says the words into my hair, and he keeps his head bent down toward mine while his fingers tighten. I stay like this, not because I can't break away from him and go find Blythe if I wanted to, and not because I'm not strong enough to have seen her and go on with my night, but because out of anyone here, Adam understands.

I'd heard a few rumors about his family, but just like Blythe, no one had ever confirmed them.

"Maybe tell your dad when you see him. I don't have a good feeling about her, Eva. She seemed, I don't know, sort of smug to find out who you were," Adam keeps talking, his gaze turning the direction Blythe went, and I have to say I agree.

There was a funny look on her face when I met her, and she looked a little too delighted when I announced my last name. I would most definitely ask my father the next time I saw him. He'd always been honest with what he told me, and I knew he'd answer whatever I asked. I doubt he would be expecting my questions to be about Blythe, but he had to know she'd come up eventually.

I just didn't know what I would do with the information. After a few weeks of everyone seeming to be down my throat, having Blythe dismiss me should have hurt. To my surprise, it was more irritating than anything. She seemed well off, content with her life, and not the least bit upset to bump into me. The least she could have done was told me who she really was.

I forget about her as Adam pulls me closer and asks if I want a coffee to go.

"No, I'm okay." I look up at him, and he looks down at me. Once again, the café falls away. There are no blinking lights or people surrounding us, only him and me, looking at one another. "Thank you for coming with me." I tighten my fingers on him, and he smiles. It's a real smile, unlike Blythe's or even the grimaced ones I'd seen a lot of lately, and it makes me nervous to have him looking at me like this.

"I mean, you'll owe me. But we can talk about that later." Adam declares, and we stay this way until Daniel returns. Adam loosens his grip only when Daniel clears his throat, and he looks right at me. He and I lock eyes, and I realize I'm going to have a hard time convincing anyone that nothing serious is going on between Adam and myself, especially after tonight.

Especially when we walk out with him, my hand firmly in Adam's.

* * *

"Eden said you were engaged. So did Zander."

I should have known this was coming.

I pause right before I get into the car, dark and shiny and nicer than the rough Dauntless trucks I'm used to riding in, and my grandfather smiles. It's not the feigned pretense of happiness just to be nice or something to placate me while he gets the information he wants. He truly looks happy; he's staring at me just as intensely as my father and Four had, but with a little more enthusiasm behind it.

"Do you believe them?" I look up at him, and my fingers touch the inside of the door. A few seats over, Adam is sitting and fiddling with his phone. I doubt he can hear me, and I'm grateful when the driver starts speaking to him, warmly asking if Adam would like the heat turned on.

"I don't trust a lot of things from Eden. She once tried to convince me there was a home remedy for the common cold. I figured I would ask you when I saw you, but things got a little weird at the end of the evening," he shrugs, and my lips turn up.

Things had gotten very weird. That was the understatement of the century.

"Yeah, I got sent home. But I'm sure you did hear it from Zander and Eden." I watch his expression change, smiling as someone in the distance yells his name. "Adam and I aren't…engaged. Not even close." My answer is quiet, and the warm look on his face falters. I can feel his disappointment at this news, and my grandfather's answer is surprising silence.

"Grandpa?"

My words hover between us, eventually vanishing into the air while he contemplates this. When he finally speaks, he's genuine with curiosity. "Do you want to be engaged? He seems like a nice guy."

My fingers still along the sleek lines of the car door. His question is a good one, and I know he's expecting a very black and white answer of yes or no. This wasn't overly invasive coming from him at all. I could shake my head and tell him to knock it off, but my grandfather was one of the few people whose intentions were truly pure. If he was asking, he had reason.

I wanted to answer him, badly.

It wasn't that I didn't want to get married someday or had never thought about it. It just felt very premature to start making wedding plans when I'd barely kissed Adam.

"You know, it took Adam and I a long time to be where we are. I don't think either of us want to get married anytime soon. I'm pretty sure Zander started that rumor because he's dating a friend of mine and it took the pressure off him," I feel my shoulders rise up, and I force them back down. "Adam is a good guy, and I don't want to ruin it. Everyone keeps asking if we're married or running away or engaged. I don't even know if he wants any of that. It might start to get old if he keeps hearing it."

My tone drops at the end, heavy with defeat, because truthfully, I didn't want that to happen. Adam had been great at ignoring my family's attempts to lure him to the dark side of our family tree, but I wasn't sure how long he'd be good with that. Eventually, denying our imaginary engagement would get old.

Just like the jokes about our names had.

"I understand. I don't mean to upset you, Eva. He seems very happy with you, and you seem very happy with him." My grandfather waves at someone walking past, and he looks back at me with a shrug. "That's Joanie. She works in billing."

"Hello," I wave at Joanie, too, but I've never seen her before in my life. She pauses long enough to squint at me, and I am grateful for the quick break in the conversation. "She seems nice."

"She is." His answer is spoken off handedly, his mind a million miles away.

"Grandpa, are you asking me if I'm engaged because Adam was hugging me?"

"No, it wasn't just that." Daniel's answer is casual, but not really. "I know you're not thrilled with everyone knowing your business. Eric was the same way. Your father refused to talk about your mom, but every so often, he slipped up. One time, I asked about her training and he told me she had dark hair and that she was asleep on his couch."

I stare up at him.

Behind his nearly parted hair, his thick dark glasses, and his structured coat over his scrubs, Erudite blinks behind him. I feel a rush of affection for him knowing I wasn't the only one in this family afraid of admitting how I felt out loud. I suddenly want to stay here; the faction is lit up in a way Dauntless could never be, and here, even though Blythe was lurking in the shadows and potentially crossing my path, I had felt like not a soul cared who Adam and I were. I liked that, and I liked our few hours spent together.

Or maybe I just liked Adam, and it was nice to have some time away with just him.

Plus, Erudite had my grandfather. Even if he was skirting around the issue of would I be married or not and would that happen sooner or later, I still wanted to sit at his dinner table and hang out with him and not return to Dauntless and have to explain to the guards why they should let us back in without question.

"I just want to be around when you do get married, that's all. So does Camille. If you choose to get married, that is. I understand either way. I just wanted to hear it from you, and not half of Amity."

My grandfather looks at me, hopefully, and I find myself smiling back in surprise understanding.

He wasn't trying to marry me off like my mother and Tris were, nor was he asking because he wanted the satisfaction of hearing about this rumor firsthand. He was asking only because he wanted to be there, and I have to say, that was something I never once thought about.

I figured he'd be around forever.

"Okay, well, if Adam and I do get married, and that's a big _if_, do you promise me you'll be there?" I lean away from the car, hoping Adam can most certainly not hear me asking this. Things were going great, but they might change if he overheard this conversation.

The risk is worth it when Daniel's face lights up. He smiles, happier and brighter than I've seen lately, and his grin is contagious.

"Of course I will."

"Good, then it's settled. I'll call you if I ever have a date for this wedding. Or," I pause, and I glance back at Adam still talking to the driver. "if anyone ever proposes to me. Deal?"

"Deal."

My grandpa gestures for me to get into the car, and I obediently slide into the seat next to Adam. Daniel walks up front, and the driver looks at him in surprise when he takes the passenger seat.

"Albert, we're going to head to Dauntless. We have a quick stop to make before going home." He catches my eye in the rear-view mirror and winks, and I hope he knows how grateful I am. It wouldn't have been the end of the world to be stuck here for a few more hours, but I know it's better we make it back soon.

I'm right.

When we do arrive back at Dauntless, Albert flashing a security clearance that allows us to park right in the back by the trucks, the faction is quiet. There are only a few soldiers wandering around, but the most notable one is standing there with her arms crossed over her chest, and a jacket thrown over her nightgown.

Her dark stare is not pleased, and it matches her pissed off posture completely.

"Um, isn't that…"

Adam scoots closer to the window, trying to look out before we climb out of the car. Our drive home had been pleasant. The car was warm, Adam sat close to me, and he toyed with my fingers for most of the drive. We had the illusion of privacy back here, since my grandfather spoke to Albert for most of the drive, filling him in on some scandalous Erudite gossip about one of the labs.

But all that fizzles away when my stare meets hers, and she scowls at me.

"Shit."

Of all the people we could have run into while returning to Dauntless, I most certainly wasn't expecting any of them to be my mother.

* * *

"You could have told me you were going."

For the first time in forever, my mother seems mad at me.

Her tone is incredibly annoyed, bordering on disappointment that her only child would dare leave the faction without telling her.

To my great dismay, she had greeted us alongside Karl. They both stood there stoically, though Karl was at least wearing his actual uniform and not just pajamas and a jacket. Neither were thrilled to see us, but both did perk up when they saw Daniel. He hugged the two of them quickly, cheerfully explained he'd offered to take us back here, and then promptly left. He hugged me goodbye before he climbed back in the car, whispering that he'd see me soon, and I stalled, hoping my mother and Karl would be so happy to see Daniel they'd forget Adam and I had been driven back by him.

They didn't.

Karl asked Adam to walk back with him, and before I could even protest that it had been my idea, Karl whisked him away, down a dark hallway and most definitely not toward the initiate dorms.

"I'm sorry…I just needed to get out of here. Things have been really weird. Kat and I got into a huge argument and she said a bunch of things to me that were pretty rude." I start to explain myself, but my mother shakes her head, not buying it. She shivers as we walk, pulling at my father's jacket in an attempt to stay warm, and I have a feeling she'd been forced out of bed to come get me.

Which makes her expression sort of terrifying. My mother loved a lot of things in life, but sleep ranked right up there with my father and me.

"I just needed a break. I wanted to get out for a minute. Be somewhere else. Don't be mad. Please!" I try to catch her attention, but she's still scowling.

I could count the number of times I'd gotten in trouble on one hand. It was always something minor: not listening to something that could cause my death, forgetting to do something I was asked because I was too busy hanging out with my friends, or ignoring my father's theory that I would starve to death if I didn't eat anything but toast.

My parents rarely yelled at me while I was growing up, but I had a feeling I was about to get an earful. I knew about the security alert, I knew about my father's feelings toward security alerts, and I'd been warned to stay inside.

Which I hadn't.

She leads me up a few stairs, not even slowing down so I don't fall and break my neck, and I know she's really mad. I decide I'll just take full responsibility for it. I'll explain it was my idea, and none of Adam's. Hopefully, my mother will be so blown away by me confessing this, that she won't be too mad.

I figured out of everyone finding us coming back into Dauntless, she'd be the most understanding. She had often told me that the worst thing I could do was spend my life wondering what if and not taking chances, so I was expecting her to be mildly supportive. Maybe even happy that I'd done something I wouldn't normally do, even though my father would hear about it.

Plus, I'd heard she left Dauntless a few times herself.

But she looks cranky, so I prepare myself for her lecture. Maybe one about actually listening and not being an idiot, but it doesn't come.

Only her increasingly angry grimace as we speed up to pass the soldiers heading out.

"Evangelina Coulter, you know better than this! Erudite! You went to Erudite and didn't tell me." Her voice echoes in the hallway, bouncing off the rocky edges and right back to me. "I love their coffee. I would have gone with you. I could have had someone drive us. I wasn't even doing anything!"

"You aren't mad?" I turn to look at her in total surprise, because she had sounded pretty pissed off a minute ago.

"At what?" She looks back at me like I'm insane and pulls her jacket even tighter. "Oh, because you and Adam left? No. I'm not mad. No one cares if you leave. I mean, they care. Technically, as an initiate, you aren't a member of any faction yet and we're in some security crisis so no one is really supposed to be leaving. Someone should have noticed you and Adam just walking right out of here, because we can't just have people leaving without checking in and out. But I figured you were fine. Plus, Karl watched you on the cameras. He had a patrol team on standby if anything happened. You're lucky you have such a good godfather."

"Seriously?" I watch her out of the corner of my eye, and she looks at me out of the corner of her eye. I'm taken back by both the security team following me to Erudite, and that she's more upset that I didn't ask her if she wanted to dip out of Dauntless for a coffee run. "What if I had gone to Abnegation? Would you be so understanding then? Aren't you supposed to be mad at me? I left, even though Dad told me not to."

My mother contemplates this for a moment, then shrugs.

"What on Earth would you do in Abnegation? There's nothing open late at night. I don't even think they have a coffee shop," she sounds huffy at the thought, and she elbows me as she gets closer. "I highly doubt Adam would have wanted to go there."

She says his name with an all too knowing smile, and I have the mean urge to tell her he'd dumped me over lattes when we missed the train.

"Does Dad know I left?" I ask the one question I'd been dreading, taking the stairs two at a time with her. I realize she's leading me upstairs, toward the elevators, and I have a feeling we're stopping at the apartment. "Mom?"

"No, he's actually in some meeting. He got called in late. I'm sure he'd be fine with it, though. He's suddenly decided he really likes Adam. In fact, it was all I heard about the other night. I think he was trying to convince himself, but I went along with it. Sometimes, the best thing to do is let your father pretend that the idea everyone has been telling him for the past eighteen years is his own."

"Great." I answer with little enthusiasm, because while I was glad my father liked Adam, or at the very least had a newfound appreciation for him, this might not bode well for either of us. "Are we stopping at home? I really should get to bed…"

"I have something for you!" My mother looks excited, her irritation over the coffee completely vanished, and she turns left, down a very familiar hallway. "I wanted to give it to you before the dinner, but I didn't have time. I had…"

She stops speaking, and her eyes widen.

"Oh shit," I blurt out, because the sight before me is not great, nor what either of us were expecting.

There, in front of our apartment door, is my father, Karl, Adam, Jason, Rylan, Nikolai, Nikolai's mother, Four, but most importantly, and most surprisingly, a very nervous looking Kat and Zander.

* * *

"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?"

It takes me a minute to remember that Nikolai's mother's name is Angela. I'd met her plenty of times. She was always nice to me, never entirely too interested unless being around me got her closer to Four, but mostly polite. She sometimes cracked a joke here or there, and her main interest in running Dauntless was to keep an eye on both her son, and her future husband.

Her current husband seemed fairly in the dark about these plans.

So did Four.

"There's nothing going on," my father answers flatly, and the look on his face tells me that not only is something going on, someone is about to die tonight.

It'll probably be Angela.

Or me.

He knows we left Dauntless. Every so often, he glances over to Adam. His look is interesting, certainly not full of approval, but it's not disapproval either. Mostly, just this weird, even stare that tells me he's been thinking a lot about Adam lately, and were he not surrounded by half of the leaders here, he'd ask to speak to him.

Which makes me glad he doesn't have the chance.

We are all seated around his dining room table, and my father looks incredibly unenthused. He sits there stiffly, his spine pulled straight and his jacket buttoned all the way up. He cracks his neck as he turns to glare at Angela.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?"

His words drip with disdain.

But it's not just the late hour bothering him. Growing up, he was called away at all hours of the night, all the time. All security issues were brought to him. There were plenty of times when he would be reading me a bedtime story, and his phone would go off. Or I'd wake up to get some water, only to find him returning home from wherever he'd been. He told me his job spanned all hours of the day and night, and it didn't stop just because the sun set.

Usually his tales of where he had been were entertaining. Someone sleepwalking and tripping an alarm, Jason accidentally turning off the lights in all the faction rather than just putting them in conservation mode, or Arlene's supplies, being part of an attempted robbery by faceless factionless as they were dropped off in the early hours of the morning. I liked hearing all these tales, because they humanized our faction.

This meeting also seems entertaining and humanizing, but in a bad way.

"Nothing? Nothing is going on? You and Four are both fine with me walking in on our trainer and one of his initiates?" Angela's voice is shrill, and I wonder how Nikolai listened to her for all these years. "You're seriously calling that nothing. This most definitely calls for a meeting."

I turn toward Kat, her face pale and frightened, and I realize my trip to Erudite has been overshadowed by something else entirely.

Kat and Zander.

Turns out, I wasn't the only one who'd learned of this discovery. While I was enjoying coffee with Adam, Zander and Kat had finally blown the cover off their ultra-secret romance. To make it even better, they'd been busted by the worst person who could have found them, and of course, she'd brought them right to my father. This should bring me some small speck of joy, because they'd both been kind of crappy to me. Kat had been treating me like I was too dumb to exist, and Zander had pretended I wouldn't notice he'd been hooking up with my friend.

But they both look so miserable, it's hard to feel anything other than uneasy as Angela zeros in on them.

"Eric, are you going to say anything? Or is this commonplace here?"

Everyone turns to look at my dad, and to the extreme annoyance of Angela, he shrugs dismissively. His stare flicks over to Zander and Kat, both sneaking a glance at each other, but it's impassive and utterly uninterested.

"Is what commonplace"? A few seats away, my mother stares at Angela as if she's never seen her before.

"Yeah, please explain to us what you walked in on? Because around here, that could be anything." Rylan sits next to my father with his spine just as straight, and his eyes move around the table.

He gives off the air of total professionalism here: he looks at every person seated at the table suspiciously. Kat and Zander both looking queasy and anywhere but me, Adam, sitting very close to me but only because Karl had shoved himself next to Four, Nikolai, boredly texting someone on his phone and rolling his eyes at Adam, and finally Jason, sitting on the other side of my father. Rylan and Jason form sort of a half circle around the table, and they look intimidating in their dark uniforms. "Angela, we aren't mind readers nor do we sit in the control room all day. None of us know what you saw."

"You know what I saw," Angela stands behind Jason, not having been offered a seat, and she looks at him with great displeasure.

"Nothing worth calling this meeting, that's for sure," my father retorts, and his irritation is as high as it gets. "It's late. I'd like to go to bed. Is this really necessary?"

"Are you serious? Of course, this is necessary. Fraternization between instructor and initiates is frowned upon. It's forbidden. It's…"

"No, it's not," my father rolls his eyes as though Angela has asked him something ridiculous. "There's no official rule. Frowned upon, sure. Forbidden? No. Zander isn't the first trainer to fall for someone in his class. There's nothing in any handbook or training manual that says he'd be in trouble for it."

"You're serious? You're accepting this?" Angela's eyes widen, and Adam kicks my foot when Jason works hard not to smile. "Jason, back me up on this. I know you don't think this is appropriate."

Jason does not back her up.

He leans back in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest. "Angela, come on. In the grand scheme of things, it's not a big deal. So long as Zander keeps the scoring fair, and Kat is treated like any other initiate, there's not really anything we can do." He pauses, and he looks over at her patiently. "You asked us to pull her scores tonight, and we did. You and I went over them. She nearly failed the survival training, so I don't think you can say he's doing her any favors. There are zero complaints about the two of them, not a single initiate knows, so we can't accuse him of playing favorites. Kat dropped two spots in the rankings today. If this was affecting her training, I think she'd be moving up in the rankings, not down."

"What?" Kat blurts out, and in this moment, she looks terrified. Gone is the brazenly confident Kat, and in her place is the Kat I've known all my life, the one scared to be factionless. "Am I going to fail?"

"No, Kat, you're not going to fail. I just had to score that you nearly fell to your death, twice." Zander glumly interjects, and he drags his stare from the table, up to Jason. "I did give her points for trying and completing the exercise, but uh, yeah that's her real scoring. I swear, I wouldn't cheat on how well she's doing. Her life would be on the line if I ranked her proficient in everything and she got out there and…"

Zander trails off, unable to speak the rest of the sentence. He doesn't have to. We know that if he lies about Kat's score, and she gets placed in a position where she's expected to be an advanced, fully trained soldier, it could cost her her life.

"Oh, well…I uh, I tried. I'm sorry this is happening," Kat's expression falls. She looks defeated, and I hate that I feel a flash of sympathy considering she'd told me I sucked not too long ago.

"You really think he'd fail her?" Adam whispers, nudging my arm with his.

I shake my head, because really, I couldn't.

Even if he wasn't dating her, Zander would do everything in his power to help her succeed so long as she was trying.

"Four, you must have some thoughts on this. You and I discovered multiple hours of footage erased, and most of it included Zander. Times he should have been leading his class to lunch, or dinner. Early mornings."

"Are you stalking me?" Zander looks at Angela with a grimace, and next to me, Adam and Nikolai don't even try not to laugh. "Or are you implying I had footage of myself erased? Because Four doesn't work in the control room, and I wouldn't even…I don't even know how I would go about getting footage erased."

His tone changes, belying the truth that he does, in fact, know how to get footage of himself erased. We all know Zander has enough friends here that it is entirely possible. He rarely abused this privilege, which meant it was something he didn't want anyone to see, perhaps that he and Kat were in way deeper than anyone thought.

"FOUR?" Angela says his name loudly, and everyone turns to look at him.

I watch him stare at Angela. He's not any more enthused to be here than my father. In fact, he mimics my father's shrug, then scratches the back of his neck while looking at Zander with one patient, very knowing tight lipped nod.

"I can't verify any of the deleted footage was Zander. We do delete some of the tapes for storage purposes after they've been reviewed. But…it's not fair to assume Zander had a hand in this. He doesn't work in the control room, either. They were probably deleted out of policy."

"Thank you," Zander mutters, and beside him, Kat sinks lower in her seat. I'd tried to catch her eye, but so far, she'd been avoiding me since the minute we arrived. I do catch Zander's stare, and I regret it immediately. "Hey, do we really need everyone here for this? Adam and Eva? Nikolai? Shouldn't they all be sleeping?"

I narrow my eyes at him and he has the audacity to look hurt.

No way was he shifting this to me. He'd already tried to turn the attention at the dinner over to me by telling everyone I was engaged to Adam, and he wasn't going to get away with it now. When everyone turns to face us, looking surprised that we were here, Adam and I purposely look at each other. After a minute of silence, we both shrug, then Adam nods, and I smile sweetly at him before turning back to the table.

"No, we're good. We both want to see what happens."

"Yeah, there's no way we're sleeping now. This is the scandal of the year." Adam adds, and Jason snorts. Rylan grins even wider, and my mother looks like she's trying to hold back her laughter.

"Okay, you both can leave. You two and Nikolai. This is a serious issue…" Angela starts, but she's cut off by my father.

"Do not _ever_ attempt to dismiss my daughter again. Especially not in my apartment," he answers coldly, looking as though he'd like to slam her head first into the wall. "Eva and Adam stay. Nikolai, you can stay, too."

"Thank you, Sir." Nikolai bows his head, like my father has granted him some great honor, then resumes texting. He looks at me after he's done, and he rolls his eyes in exasperation as his mother keeps going, asking that Four weigh in on the thought of Zander dating Kat.

"This is ridiculous. This isn't some…Romeo and Juliet love affair. Zander is her trainer. They need to be separated." Angela starts up again, and Rylan tilts his head.

"Wait, hold up. Didn't…didn't Romeo and Juliet both die? Are you saying you want Zander and Kat to die?"

Next to him, Jason bursts out laughing, then coughs to cover up his laugh. "Angela, maybe pick a different example. I don't think that one works so well. Actually, don't pick another example. I think we all know you don't approve of this, but we have bigger things to worry about."

"I'll say," my father mutters, and he stretches his neck from side to side. "This meeting is over. Zander, don't do anything stupid. Kat, you either. This all stays here."

"Absolutely not," Angela interrupts, crossing her arms over her chest. "These two need to be separated. Katherine should be placed in Karl's class, immediately. I'm not asking for a vote on this, I've already decided."

"My class is full. No can do," Karl doesn't at all look helpful, only annoyed that he's here and not at home with Charlotte. "She stays with Zander. Romance or no romance."

"Wait, did I miss something?" My mother interrupts, and she looks at me, then Zander and Kat. "Wait, you two?! You've been the ones hooking up? Is that why you were such an ass at dinner?"

"I wasn't an ass!" Zander retorts, and he sits up straighter when Kat makes a funny sound. "And we weren't just hooking up. We've been…look, I asked Kat to go with me and she said no. Then Eric said I couldn't bring her anyway, so I asked Mandy."

"I didn't say you couldn't bring her! I said it would be too complicated!" My father snaps back, and Nikolai glances up briefly, delight spreading across his face as my father accidentally confesses that he knew this was going on. "I said if you brought her, and everyone asked, you better be ready to answer a million questions. I said bring her next year. It would make things easier."

"You knew!" Angela gasps, and Nikolai slowly lowers his phone.

"I knew something was up, too!" My mother also gasps, but she's triumphant. "It was so obvious. Zander, why didn't you just tell everyone she was your roommate or something. No one would have cared."

"Roommates," Rylan repeats, very seriously, then shakes his head. "They were roommates. No, that doesn't work. She can't be his roommate. Everyone knows she's in training. They probably didn't want to piss off Eva by having her find out at the dinner."

He looks at me, and I wait for him to add something, something wry and hysterical about how it was the evening of my engagement announcement and how dare Zander take away from that, but he doesn't. He winks, then sits back in his seat and looks smug.

"Eva…that's not what happened. I wanted to tell you…" Kat finally looks at me, but she doesn't look smug. She looks crushed, as all of this slowly explodes around her.

"No one would believe she was his roommate. I told her it would raise a lot of questions, because he's training her and…"

"So you're all just….good with this?" Angela interrupts my father, putting her hands on her hips, and her face tightens. "This is okay amongst all of you? It seems like you're encouraging it."

"Well, Eric and Four have no room to talk, sooo…." Rylan announces, and he grins at my mother. "Case closed. Kat and Zander may carry on with what they were doing, and we can all go to bed. After initiation, we attend their surprise wedding, and the faction rejoices over the new happy couple. Drinks are served. Someone dies of alcohol poisoning, probably Four. We all know he can't really handle his liquor. Tris remarries. All is good. Problem solved."

"No, nothing is solved. I told you to be quiet." Nikolai's mother grows more worked up, and she paces behind him while Four stares at Rylan like he'd like to murder him. "This is setting a poor example. Am I really supposed to believe Four and Eric dated their initiates? That's why no one has told Zander to knock it off?"

"Are you new here?" Rylan narrows his eyes at her, and he twists in his chair to look at her. "Seriously, Angela. I thought you were up to speed on all this. I don't have time to type you out a Cliff Notes version of the past few years here. You'll have to figure this out on your own time. Also, no one tells me to be quiet. So, go fuck yourself lady."

"Listen, you asshole," Angela swears, and I can faintly register Adam snickering as Rylan smiles at her before flipping her off. She starts to walk over to him, but when he stands up, she moves away. "Do you even realize what this could lead to? What if Zander chooses to marry her? What if he's already gone ahead and…"

"Wait, are you two getting married?" I lean forward as something hits me, and I stare at Kat and Zander. They're both looking at each other, and it takes them a second to look back at me, guilty as ever. "Kat? Zander?"

"Oh shit!," my mother looks at them in sheer horror, and her gaze swings wildly from them to my father. "Are you already married? Is that why you didn't want to bring Mandy?"

"I guess this means Kat is now your aunt." Rylan looks at me, and Adam laughs. "Wait, is she your aunt? Does anyone know how that works? Can we call you Zat? Wait, no, Kander. You both should move to Candor. Does that solve the problem?"

"No, RYLAN, it would make the problem worse," Angela presses her fingers to her temples and closes her eyes. "That's your main concern here, whether or not Eva's friend would be her aunt?"

"Yes, she'd be her aunt." Four answers, and he sounds like he's both trying not to laugh and trying to figure out how he's lived his life thus far without witnessing all of this. "Zander, we know you adore Eric, but please tell us you haven't followed in his footsteps and married Kat before she finishes her initiation. Not right now."

"Is this something you all do? Is this some trend amongst leaders?" Angela speaks slowly, and her expression is utter confusion at the thought. She looks a little repulsed, and my mother glares at her from her seat. Her annoyed look lasts a mere second, and she smiles.

Brightly.

"I was the only one in Eric's class," my mother answers extra cheerfully, and she has her phone out. I watch her tap her screen a few times before she looks up at my father. "It's pretty common knowledge that I was the best he ever had."

"You mean the _only _initiate he ever had. No one in their right mind would assign Eric to train anyone if they wanted them to live," Four looks at my father, and my father makes an exaggerated, incredibly immature, irritated grimace at Four. "Somehow, Everly survived. And yes, he married her. I'm surprised you haven't watched the footage from their time here. I'm sure we have it somewhere."

Four's words are dry enough that my father laughs. My mother laughs, too, then looks momentarily horrified. "Wait, what footage…like, all the footage…"

"Angela, if you need one, I can burn you a copy. Actually, I might have one here…" my father retorts, but he doesn't get very far.

"Wait, I don't even have a copy!" Rylan interjects, and he looks extremely insulted. "I want one for my birthday. Especially the footage from the wedding. I looked good in my suit."

"You did look good in your suit," Jason agrees, and he pats Rylan's arm. "And I'm pretty sure you have a copy. You made Meghan and I watch the part where you tried to trip Four when we walked in, over and over again."

"Ohhhh, right, right." Rylan agrees, soothed by this thought. "Okay, maybe I do have a copy. Cancel my request unless your version has extended scenes and bonus footage."

"Can you imagine if we'd stayed in Erudite. We'd be missing all this," Adam leans in, and his arm touches mine. His fingers nudge mine too, and I have the urge to curl mine into his.

"I would have been devastated," I whisper back, and all around us, the arguing grows louder when Jason announces he has to leave and can we officially wrap this meeting up. "This is way better than going to bed."

Adam's eyes find mine, and he has the audacity to smirk. "Okay, well I have to disagree with you there."

"Everly, what are you doing? Who are you calling?"

I break Adam's stare to find my father scowling at my mother, and she glances none too subtly at me. "I'm calling Tris. She should be here. She's missing all the good stuff."

"Everly, no! This isn't a social call. Everyone is only here because Angela is losing her mind over Zander. You can fill Tris in later." My father hisses the words at her, but my mother is still reluctant to end her phone call.

"I'll just text her then. She should know what's going on," she answers him sweetly, and sort of leans away to frantically text her friend as though my father might lunge across the table to get her phone.

Rylan nods his approval. "You know what, I should call Christina. She'll be pissed she missed this."

"ENOUGH! This is an absolute disgrace!" Angela yells, full on screaming the words so everyone stops talking. I find myself leaning in toward Adam, and Nikolai looks at both of us. "This is no way to run a faction!"

"Get ready. She's gonna lose it," Nikolai whispers, but he turns his attention back to his mother. I have a feeling he's been privy to a few of her meltdowns, because he seems to be bracing himself for what's coming.

"You are the leaders of this faction and look at you. Concerned over some…some wedding tapes and completely approving of a trainer dating an initiate! Do you have any idea how irresponsible you all are? Even you."

She glares at Four, and his eyes widen in surprise. I guess her love affair with him is over, because she looks ready to stab him.

"This is a security concern. If your trainer is so distracted by his teen bride…"

"Hey!" Zander shakes his head furiously, and he finally looks upset. "I'm not distracted. The class is doing great. And we're not married, either, but thank you."

"Oh, well that's great," Angela answers, her voice dripping with disdain. "Thank you, Zander. Thanks for clearing that up."

"You're welcome."

Zander's answer is petulant. He looks over at me, and his expression is pretty unhappy. But he smirks when he sees Adam lean into me. Adam's hand grazes mine, and I nudge him back.

Unfortunately, Zander doesn't miss any of this.

"Cute," Zander has the audacity to stare long enough that everyone else looks at us, and I shake my head at him.

"Oh, you don't like people thinking you're married? Does that bother you?" I hold his stare and everyone around us is silent. "Sorry. I'll invite you to the next support group meeting."

My mother smiles, so brightly that you would think Adam had proposed. "Eva, Adam, can I get you anything to drink?"

"I'm good, but thank you," Adam politely answers her, ignoring his father looking at him like he's an alien life form. "But uh, I agree with Eric. I think we should end this meeting and go. Half of us have class in the morning."

"Agreed," my father answers flatly, but Angela isn't having it.

"Alright, I wasn't going to do this, but now I am. I have had it. For too long, all of you have had too much control here. It's clear Eric appointed his friends so he can do as he pleases without anyone telling him no, and he's allowing Zander to do the same." Angela continues, and her voice grows louder. "This isn't working anymore. I took this job to make a difference here, and I can see it's much needed. You're all a bunch of spoiled idiots. Jason and Rylan should never have been promoted past salad cart assistant, and Four who decided you should be in charge of anything? You tried to turn the faction over to the factionless! You got Everly kidnapped. How on Earth does Eric stand the sight of you?!"

The room falls deadly silent, except for my father making an odd sound. My mother reaches for him, stopping him from standing up and killing Angela on the spot.

"What?" I look at everyone in total surprise, not liking the way Angela smiles.

This was not exactly what I had been expecting when we arrived back in Dauntless. I had figured there would be some minor drama, maybe a few nosy soldiers who thought they'd get on my father's good side by turning me in or a few grouchy men, unwilling to let us sneak back into Dauntless without proper clearance.

Certainly not this.

"What the fuck…" Adam mutters, and Rylan nods in agreement.

"What the fuck is right. Salad cart assistant? I don't even get my own cart? I have to be the assistant? Do Jason and I share the cart?"

"Wait, Four got Eva's mom kidnapped?" Out of everyone in the room, Kat is the only one daring enough to speak out, and her stare is horrified. "Is this true, Mrs. Coulter?"

I look at my mother, still holding her phone in her hands, and she's frozen in place as Kat asks the very question burning in my mind. My father has gone silent, but he looks paler than usual. He presses his lips together as they both sit there, only looking at each other, before my mom glances at Four.

"Yes, _Mrs. Coulter_, why don't you tell us what happened? Why you don't train the classes anymore?" Angela's voice is full of strange hatred for both of them, and it's like watching her reveal her true self the longer she talks. "Or better yet, explain how you had your husband cover up Four's involvement so he would owe Eric and would therefore agree to whatever was asked of him."

My mother is immediately defensive. Her jaw drops for a second, then she closes it and sits up straight in her seat.

"That's not at all what happened," my mother looks right at Angela, annoyance all over her face. "Where are you getting this information from? Years ago, I asked Four to be considered for the position of Leader because he had earned it. Nothing more, nothing less. You of all people should know Eric and Four agree on nothing. Ever."

"Well, actually Four and I both agree that we don't agree," my father answers spitefully, but his glare is on Angela. "and you of all people know we vote on things, and my ideas are not always the winning ones. But please, enlighten me on who the fuck you think you are, Angela, and what all this is?"

"Wait, did you get kidnapped?"

I stare at my mother, and Adam stares at his father.

Around us, there is a low murmuring of protest as Angela continues her attack on everyone. She starts bringing up all kinds of things that are pretty specific for someone who claimed to not know what was going on. There's a quick mention of someone named Jeremy, my father's previous work, the word _divergents_, an attempt to overthrow Dauntless, and she hits a high note by hinting that Four was responsible for all of it. Her argument is well thought out, like she's been keeping all this information on him for years, and she keeps going, point after point, as everyone watches her.

"Angela, knock it off. This isn't the time or place for this." Four firmly insists, but she's undeterred.

"No, this ends tonight. I think it's high time the faction knows the truth about all of you."

I catch a quick glimpse of Adam, and his stare is on his father.

"Angela, enough." Four holds his hands up and shakes his head. "None of this is relevant now."

"Oh, but it is," Angela crows, prompting Jason and Rylan to stand up. They corner her so she can't physically go after Four, and this seems to anger her even further. Rylan nudges her back a step, away from the table and chairs, and she pushes him away from her.

"Oh, did none of you know about this? Adam, why don't you ask him about his mother! Ask Eric why he killed her! Ask Eric what he did and why they took Everly!" Angela hisses the words as my mother puts her phone down, and she looks at me in pure horror.

Her stare is conflicted, heavy with something I don't recognize.

"Mom?"

"Once. It was a long time ago, Eva."

"What? _Once_?!" I blink at her, and next to me, Four is staring at Angela with an odd look on his face, and he slowly stands up.

"Angela, this has gone far enough. I think we file an emergency order to have her removed from her position temporarily. We'll have…"

"Ask him, Adam. You want a reason to not speak to your father? Well here it is." Angela's triumphant hiss is lost as Rylan shoves her back, and I half expect him to knock her down.

"Well, this is going very well. Lovely, actually." Nikolai mutters, and his texting increases to a frantic pace.

"Wait, you…you got Eva's mom kidnapped? For real?"

Four turns when Adam speaks to him, and for the first time since I've known him, he looks utterly defeated.

"Don't you touch me!" Angela shrieks, and everyone looks over to her. She's struggling as Rylan tries to get her to sit back down, and Jason shakes his head.

"Adam…look, this is…this isn't the time or place for this. What happened was the result of some bad decisions and I didn't…I never meant for…" Four stops when Adam stands up, and he stares at his father.

"You know, I think I'm good. I think I've heard enough, and I am going to head downstairs. You ready, Eva?"

"Adam…" Four says his name, but he doesn't get far.

Jason and Rylan struggle to keep Angela under control. She whirls back, and a second later, Jason gets the surprise of his life when she punches him right in the face.

"Fuck!"

He leans away from her, and Angela sneers in triumph. "You're no better than any of them. It's time this faction have some real leadership around here. Starting now, I demand all of you step down. The faction should know what's been going on."

"Oh fuck," Nikolai groans, and he stands up as well. "I was right to ignore your phone calls. You're losing it. You really think you're going to take them down, don't you? You promised me you would behave."

"Oh, I _am_ going to take them down. I have enough dirt on all of them to destroy their lives. Just you wait! Even you, Karl. You let Everly get kidnapped because you were too stupid to…"

I never do find out what Angela thought Karl was too stupid to do. My father is suddenly behind her, and before anyone can notice he isn't sitting by my mother, he slams her head down onto his kitchen table. He looks so over this, his expression tight and irritated, and he shoves her down with enough force that Angela passes out immediately. She slumps to the floor, landing at the feet of one murderous looking Rylan and he kicks her off his shoe.

"Salad cart assistant, _my ass_. I'd at least be the salad supervisor."

He kicks her again, not hard, mostly just out of his way, before he very kindly offers to escort everyone back home.

* * *

"She's fucking insane."

Rylan sits on the ledge of the roof with Adam and I. I've never seen him smoke before, but tonight, he does. He takes a slow drag off his cigarette, then exhales heavily, watching the cloud of smoke appear in front of him.

"You smoke? Since when?" Adam sits next to me, his feet propped up on the chairs Rylan had dragged over. I had taken the seat next to Adam, and Nikolai had dropped into the one in front of me. Karl sat beside him, and the two of them were sharing a beer. A hip looking beer, and I recognize the label from Forrest's personal supply that he only gave out to friends and family.

"I did. Gave it up when I started dating Christina. But I figured I had earned it tonight. Can you believe the nerve of that woman?" Rylan puts the cigarette out, but looks livid all over again, and I don't blame him.

Tonight, Angela self-destructed, and he got quite the brunt of it. Everyone did, but she seemed to harbor some extra special pent-up aggression toward him. I wasn't sure what caused the mental snap; perhaps it was Four not returning her affection, or my father dismissing her concerns so easily, but whatever it was –it had pushed her over the edge until she threatened them all.

Some of what she brought up wasn't anything scandalous. My father did have a heavy hand in how the faction ran, and his friends did usually back him on most things. But everyone knew Four was the voice of reason, and when he disagreed, they usually listened.

She had brought up a few things I hadn't ever heard about. I didn't know what a divergent was or why anyone was hunting them, and I certainly hadn't heard about my mother being kidnapped.

The worst part of it all, was even though Angela hadn't gotten what she wanted, she had definitely stirred things up. She brought up some events that everyone had long buried and long forgotten, for what I can only assume were good reasons.

"We all work hard. Just because we aren't miserable doesn't mean we aren't working…" Rylan mutters, and Karl reassures him Angela is crazy.

"Rylan, I wouldn't sweat it. Eric's having her prosecuted for punching Jason. He'll probably have her executed. She's nuts."

"Karl is right. She's a miserable human being. She's been sitting on that shit for a while. The stuff with your dad, the stuff with your mom…" Nikolai pauses, downing a sip of the beer before handing the bottle to Karl. "The stuff with Adam's father. She came home gloating that she'd put it all together a while ago and it was time the word got out. I didn't know what she was talking about."

"Yeah, but _did _he?" Adam looks at Nikolai, then Rylan, then Karl. "Did he try to turn the faction over? Was he helping someone?"

"Well, yeah. He had some dumb idea that he was helping his mother. I don't think he meant to do anything stupid. It made sense at the time. We were young. Eric said he had a shitty homelife and he thought his mother wanted to get to know him after all these years. She fucked him over because she really just wanted him to train an army for her."

"His mother?" Adam scoots closer to me, and I look up at him. "I've never even heard of her. He barely spoke about his parents. Anytime I asked, he changed the subject."

"Yeah, well they're tied in a contest for worst parents ever. But Evelyn," Rylan pauses, and his voice is far away. "we all had to deal with Evelyn. It felt wrong. She came into our home and took Everly. They fucked with us, making everyone believe she was dead. The worst part was it took us forever to find her. Evelyn had Everly for a while, and we were always a step behind. Eric nearly lost his mind trying to find both of them. He killed Evelyn without any hesitation. We all agreed she deserved it, even Four."

"So, this Evelyn, she took…Eva's mom, and my father was involved?"

"Yeah, but don't…don't go after your dad for this. It was years ago. He didn't know that's what her plan was, and he fucked up. I fucked up, too. Angela's right. I was on duty when they grabbed Everly and I froze up. I watched them carry her out of the faction. Shit stayed with me for a long time."

"They really kidnapped her?"

I finally speak, having been mostly silent the whole walk out here. I'd assumed we were all going to bed, but Rylan had asked if we wanted to go outside for a minute, and Adam readily agreed. I went along with them, mostly because my fingers were through Adam's and I didn't want to let go of him. My mother had half hugged me goodbye, but she was struggling to keep my father from killing Angela in the middle of their apartment. Kat and Zander had bolted, practically running out the minute they could, and I knew this wasn't entirely over.

She and I would talk at some point, but I decided it would be on my terms.

I told my mother I'd call her later, wished her a goodnight, and left with Adam. I hoped things would calm down as my mother reminded my father blood was hard to get out of carpet, and he reluctantly agreed to call Arlene.

Adam didn't really calm down, though. Not in the way I was hoping. He was vibrating with an anger I didn't recognize, and it left me with the sinking feeling this was the nail in the coffin when it came to the relationship with his father.

"Yeah. Yeah, Eva. They really kidnapped her. It was crazy. Your mom was gone for a while. But she was tough. She got through it and when she came back, she forgave Four. She never held it against him even though she could have. She forgave all of us," Karl nods.

He doesn't elaborate any further. I wish he would, but he stays quiet.

"Your mother is too kind," Adam nudges me, and I look up at his face.

I expect his expression to be smug, having found all this out while Four desperately tried to repair their relationship, but he looks torn. His lips twist down and his eyes are dark, and he forces himself to smile at me.

"I don't think your dad meant to do any of that. He looked horrified when Angela brought it up." I point this out gently, hoping he won't hop down and head inside.

Thankfully, he doesn't.

"You're too kind, too." Adam bends his head down, and he sighs. "You tired, Eva?"

"I am," I smile back at him, because I know what he wants.

He wants the two of us to go to bed. He wants to forget about all this. He'll process it for a few days and make his own decisions about how he feels about his father and his involvement, but he's done with it for tonight.

I am, too.

"I think we should call it a night."

Adam leans in closer, and the only one paying attention is Nikolai. He watches with vested interest, and his expected smile is smug.

"Us too. Training goes on. I don't think Zander will be given a reprieve just because everyone kept him up late."

"I agree. We should go in," Rylan announces, jumping down from the ledge and landing with a thud. "It's cold out here, I have to be at work early, and I promised Chris I'd fill her in on what went down. She's big mad she slept through it."

"Tell her hi," I move to follow him, but Adam catches my wrist before I can move. The two of us watch as Nikolai and Karl stand up, and they all nod in our direction. "Um, actually we'll meet you down there."

"Don't stay out here late. Your dad will be pissed if you get pneumonia. He'll blame me. I should also go check on Jason before I go home," Rylan calls out, and he looks back over his shoulder. "Eva, we'll have breakfast again soon. Minus Four."

"Sounds good to me," I call back, and he disappears back into the building with Karl and Nikolai. I look back to Adam, and he's inches away from me. "You don't want to go in?"

"Not yet," he shakes his head, and he moves his leg so it's pressed against mine. "I just wanted to thank you for the gift of this evening. It's been quite the ride, from start to finish. I feel like things are never dull when I'm with you."

"Oh, you're so welcome," I laugh, relieved when he smiles –really smiles. "Erudite was fun and all, but I don't think anything compares to what happened at my dad's. Kat and Zander were outed, my father knew about it the whole time, my mother got kidnapped and…"

"And my father helped. I always knew he had it in him," Adam holds my stare, shrugging as he moves closer. "Maybe I should be impressed. Espionage wasn't quite what I had in mind, but I guess it's better than nothing."

"Are you going to ask him about it? Maybe he'll tell you what happened." I suggest but Adam has other ideas.

He shakes his head slowly, bending down until his forehead touches mine. I can't help but smile even wider when his hands touch my face, and a second later, his nose touches mine.

"Eva, I'm sure he'll tell me exactly what he wants me to hear. That's the real problem."

I don't have a great answer to that, but that's alright. Adam kisses me, his lips freezing and lovely against mine, until both of us are too cold to stay out a second longer. I hate that he stops, but my hands are numb and so are my feet, and I know we should go to bed.

We break away to head inside, and he jumps down first. He extends his hand out to me, watching until my hand is in his, and I sit there for a just a moment with our arms outstretched. Adam looks only at me, his head slightly tilted and his grin still in place. He's lit up by the yellow glow behind him, and in the dark, cold air, I take a second to appreciate this sight.

I smile even wider when he pulls me forward, back into Dauntless, in the very early morning hours of this never-ending night.


	21. Chapter 21

Thanks so much to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter!

Thanks to everyone for reading & reviewing! I'm dead tired so I don't have anything witty to write, but I appreciate everyone for following along! Happy Friday!

* * *

"Did you see her? Did you guys talk?"

Adam says the words into my neck, making me squirm. I try to stay quiet, but he keeps his mouth there, shoving my hair out of his face as he works his way up to the juncture of my jaw. His lips press gently, then firmer when I don't say anything.

"Evangelina Coulter, are you ignoring me? I need to know how you really feel about your friend dating your uncle. Actually, the whole faction wants to know, but you can tell me. I'll keep your secrets. All the ones Kat claims you have and the ones I haven't learned yet. Oh, and how you feel about Angela, trying to take down both our parents, your godparents, and poor unsuspecting Karl. And what you thought of TJ's mystery noodle dish that we had for dinner."

"Stop," I laugh, closing my eyes and shifting back closer to him when he kisses my jaw. "Adam, be quiet. You're ruining this."

"Wow, the thanks I get. I'm just trying to be supportive."

He laughs while he kisses my cheek, and I sink back, wishing we were anywhere else but in a room full of our friends. Sure, it was dark. It was actually pitch black, and the dim lights that once buzzed above us were off completely. The only light came from around the corner, spilling down the stairs so no one would break their neck in the event they were heading upstairs. Zander had turned them off in a huff tonight. He'd walked us down here only to make sure everyone was accounted for, then left in a fit of angsty, lonely agony over leaving his girlfriend with her class.

He'd looked at me, once -painfully -then left.

We hadn't talked. None of us.

Kat had gone out of her way not to look at me, and each time we'd accidentally crossed stares, hers was heavy with a lot of unspoken emotions.

Three days ago, she and Zander had been taken to my father in an attempt to break them apart. Adam and I had sat there while Nikolai's mother tried to destroy them, along with the faction, Jason's left eye, Four's entire life here, and my father's reputation. Because of who he was as a person, he handled it by smashing her face into his dining room table, then politely ordering Jason down to see the nurse. He further handled Angela by having her banished to a position so lowly, she'd probably choose to make herself factionless if the workload didn't kill her.

To the surprise of no one, the whole thing didn't do much to dampen Zander and Kat's love affair. By not breaking them up, my father gave his unofficial blessing for them to continue, and the matter was dropped. My mother made Zander apologize for not telling me sooner, and once he did –a mumbled jumble of words that were actually pretty heartfelt and incredibly uncomfortable, I shrugged it off and told him good luck.

Kat still wouldn't look me in the eye.

I didn't push the issue.

I accepted the fact that my uncle was dating one of my friends, and I decided I'd support them from afar. Silently. With a little bit of a side eye, because I wanted them to think I was still processing this, but really, I was far too busy to focus on Kat gazing at Zander and Zander staring back at Kat.

Once Angela was taken care of, Adam and I resumed training, blearily waking up with everyone else and shuffling downstairs. The days blurred together easily: more training, another fear landscape that left me with an aching headache, an exercise that taught us how to run and shoot at the same time, and plenty of nights with Adam curling himself around me and coaxing my limbs to fit between his.

Just like tonight.

We were lucky in a way. Even though there was no privacy, plenty of prying eyes and snickers as everyone paired off to go to bed, it felt like it was just him and me. I could fall asleep with my head on his shoulder and his fingers holding onto mine, and no matter what had happened during the day, I had someone to share it with.

That wasn't the case for everyone.

A few feet away from us, there is a muffled huff of exasperation as Kat tries unsuccessfully to go to bed, and the groan as Pink tells her to go the fuck to sleep.

"Your friends are not happy this evening," Adam mumbles into my hair, and I smile.

I was happy.

Very happy.

After the emotional rollercoaster I'd been on, I now had a new outlook on my life, and it felt good. For once, my friends' happiness and wellbeing wasn't a concern of mine, at least not the main one. It was, generally. I went out of my way to keep the peace amongst us, often overlooking things like Kat's snippy words or Pink's overbearing ways of deciding she knew what was best for everyone. While I adored my friends and wanted things to be good, I had chosen to selfishly indulge in my own happiness.

Which meant slipping into bed with Adam and pushing myself against his chest.

There were zero complaints on his part. Since our night together in my childhood bed, all I wanted to do was crawl beneath the covers and kiss him until he wasn't tired enough to tell me we should go to sleep. Now that a few days had passed, I realized he'd been incredibly responsible in our scant alone time. We both appreciated every moment, but it wasn't entirely relaxed. There had been a chance our parents would return, and while my mother would have whole heartedly and enthusiastically approved of what was going on, my father might not have been as keen to discover Adam in bed with me. Despite spending the night together, alone, in a quiet apartment, it wasn't ideal.

Here, in the rows of bunk beds and sudden insomniac initiates, wasn't ideal, either.

I felt a rush of unfair annoyance as Rachel whispered goodnight, and I felt a burning hatred as Gunner loudly announced he couldn't find his phone. There was a shuffle, a crash, and Kat mumbling in a depressed manner that he had just head butted her and she didn't have his phone, followed by Brexley asking everyone to shut up.

"They're so loud," Adam nudges me with his nose, and I smile into the darkness.

My short time with Adam had made me greedy. I now understood why my mother and father always went to bed together, and why the rumors of their romance –the two of them, locked away from the rest of the faction and keeping to themselves –suddenly made sense.

Privacy was something we were sorely lacking down here, and try as I might, there was nothing I could do except patiently bide my time until initiation was over.

"I wish we were upstairs. Not here," I answer lowly, and his hands move. They find the bottom of my t-shirt, large and oversized with the word FEARLESS printed across it, and he toys with the bottom for a moment. His fingers linger there as he thinks about what I've said, then he slides his hand beneath the worn fabric.

"You and me both."

His fingers touch my side first, tentatively, but only for a moment. I have no intention of pushing his hands away, and I trust him in a way that is new to me. It was probably new to him, too. I doubt he'd climbed in bed with Callie after she thought he was boring, so I understood his thinking that I might swat him away from me.

But I wouldn't.

Pink had been right when she said I wasn't as open as everyone else, but with Adam, things were different. It wasn't that I needed him to complete my life or make me a better person, I just liked him next to me, and I knew he wouldn't do anything to hurt me. Which made me far more willing to tell him whatever he wanted to hear.

Just not now.

"So, did you talk to her?" His fingers move higher, slowly skimming my side, light enough that I can't stop the giggle. Across the room, Pink hisses for whoever is laughing to shut up, and Adam snickers into my ear. "Eva, quiet. People are trying to sleep."

"Adam!" I croak out his name when his fingers find the very bottom of my ribcage. They stay there, pressing slightly, until his palm is flat, and we both ignore Pink threatening to kill us.

"FOR FUCK'S SAKE WE HAVE TO GET UP EARLY."

Her words spark a wave of laughter, some tired, some not, and Adam pushes his nose into my temple, smirking into my hair and she less than cordially tells Adam to knock off whatever he's doing.

"She's going to poison your coffee tomorrow. I'd watch your back, Eaton." I barely get the words out as he works his hand up higher, and I stretch into his touch. He's not at all shy, and in the dark, and a bed that's not ours, it's easy to be brave.

"I'll sleep with one eye open," Adam dryly answers, his voice low enough that Pink misses it. He pulls me back closer to him, kicking the blanket so it pulls free and his hand moves back down to my waist.

The disappointment is maddening.

"Not here." Adam must have picked up on my change in attitude, because he's suddenly everywhere. I turn to face him, and I kiss him before he can offer up some polite, very reasonable excuse as to why we should stop. "No offense, but I don't like sharing any of this while Aja is snoring three feet away. It's not for them."

He's right.

In a perfect scenario, it would just be him and me, away from everyone else.

Until I can make this happen, I have to be content with what we have.

Falling asleep with him beside me, his whole body against mine.

* * *

"How's your mother?"

Adam looks at Nikolai as he walks up, and the look on his face tells me she's exactly how everyone assumes.

"Livid. Still convinced she can take down all of your parents. Should be interesting once she turns the fourth shift against the faction. On the plus side, the bruising on her face is lessening to a brilliant shade of green." He sighs, and he looks at both of us critically. "What's going on with you guys? You two certainly look well rested."

"We are," I grin, and I know he's been paying close attention to us. "How about you?"

"Oh, I'm wonderful. Getting tons of sleep after witnessing my mother screaming at your father, getting slammed face first into his table, and practically getting banished. My father is losing his mind over this and keeps begging her to keep quiet and accept Eric's punishment. He keeps insisting Eric was kind to even let her stay here. I'm not even sure they'll stay together. The last time I saw them, she was trying to stage a protest. At least my card hasn't declined yet, so there's that."

Adam snorts. "Well, maybe she'll learn her lesson."

"Doubtful, on all accounts." Nikolai waves him off dismissively, and he turns his attention to Karl, marching toward us. "Morning, Sir."

"Morning," Karl cheerfully greets us, and I notice he doesn't look rested at all. While happy looking, his eyes hold a weariness that tells me he'd spent a lot of time up last night. "You all good? I know the other night was…a lot."

"We are. How about you? You look…exhausted, really. Is it the lingering thought of Angela coming for you?" Nikolai examines Karl intently, overstepping the boundaries of what one would normally say to one of the leaders here. It was a habit he and I both had, having grown up with parents who despite holding high positions, seemed completely approachable.

"Nah, I didn't let her bother me. Charlotte pointed out what happened was years ago. I was eighteen when Evelyn came looking for Everly. If it happened today, things would be different," Karl announces firmly, and then yawns, "Sorry, I was up all night with Ethan. He kept waking up and yelling that he'd lost his glasses."

"Ohhhh…." Nikolai looks at Karl with a bemused expression, annoyed at the thought of staying up all night with a child. "Did you find them?"

"No. He doesn't wear glasses. He just liked Daniel's." Karl grins, and I know he's not at all bothered by being up with his son. "Eva, you okay? Everly is worried about you. She promises she had a good reason for not explaining the whole…uh…"

"Being kidnapped?" I make sure to look right at him, and he nods. Nervously. "I'm alright. I hope she'll tell me what happened. I was a little surprised it's never been mentioned before, but it sounds like it was a long time ago and she's recovered just fine."

"It was a long time ago. Really long ago," Karl agrees readily. "But it doesn't feel like it. More like a couple of years. I'm sure she'll want to talk and explain what went down. It was a rough time for Dauntless. They've worked hard to make sure it won't happen again."

"Do you think it could?" Adam asks, stepping closer to me. He tilts his head as Karl mulls this over, but his grimace makes me nervous.

"You know, that's a good question. As much as I'd love to tell you no, from what I've learned, they always strike when you least expect them. I wouldn't worry about it too much. And hey, we're working in partners today. Zander wanted me to tell you guys. Pick someone you don't normally fight against."

With that, Karl waves a few of his initiates to the mats, and the conversation is officially over. I think about it for a while, through the whole morning actually, while paired up with Kenny. He mockingly falls to the floor in defeat once I prove I can block his attack, and a few spots over, Adam works hard to ignore him as he fends off Nikolai prancing at him with great dramatics. He glances over once, when Kenny falls to the floor, smacks his head, and throws his arm over his eyes.

"You killed me. I'm dead. You bastard!"

I laugh, reaching my hand out to pull him up, and the rest of the morning is gone before I know it.

* * *

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea. My love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."

I read the words with a raised eyebrow as I try to hide my horror. They're sort of nausea inducing, and I only look up when Rachel clears her throat.

"There's more." She nudges the card with her hand, and I slowly glance back down at it.

There is more.

Lots more.

All written in smooshed handwriting, trying to fit into the tiny available space.

"This is uh, really nice." I answer brightly, and I try to be discreet while I look around for someone, anyone, to come save me before I have to read all the words Aja has written on this card. "I didn't know Aja was so…"

I stop myself before I can say something less than flattering about his romantic efforts. The thought was nice; it was the result of a particularly grueling round of simulations that Zander had us do back to back. I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but the simulations seemed to increase in intensity the second time around, so much that everyone left with their heads down. I watched Gunner stumble out of the doorway with his hand over his mouth, and Pink took off to help him throw up somewhere out of the way. Adam left, practically sprinting past all of us and into the dark hallway with his head down and his hands shoved into his pockets. Brexley sat by me silently, refusing to speak until Karl came over and told her to go downstairs.

Oddly enough, the boys seemed to be taking them worse than the girls. Aja emerged looking stunned. His face was pale but determined, and he immediately came to terms that his biggest fear was not failing out of initiation or landing a crap job at some outpost for months on end, nor was it ranking dead last and embarrassing his parents. It wasn't even losing his hard-earned physique, or his handsome face or the thick head of hair he stared at every morning.

It was winding up alone.

He figured he'd conquer this fear by telling Rachel just how much she meant to him in hopes that she'd feel the same way and boy did it work.

"It's so sweet," Rachel grins, and I wince in preparation for her to tell me she can't believe he thought of this all by himself. "Clearly copied from some shitty ancient play we had to read in school, but the effort is there. He said it took him a long time to find the one he was looking for."

"Oh thank God," I exhale heavily as she plucks the card out of my hands and clutches it against her chest. "It definitely wasn't what I was expecting it to say. I was hoping you didn't think he wrote that himself."

She snorts.

It's unlike her, even now, as she prettily arranges herself on the bed next to me and laughs. "I know people think I'm dumb, but I'm not _that_ dumb. Aja is very sweet with his words, but he's not that sweet." She pauses, and we look at each other. "Or that smart."

I burst out laughing and she shakes her head, setting the card down beside her.

"Hey, how was your landscape? I wanted to find you after mine, but I didn't see you."

She holds my stare the same way she did when she asked if my parents really had sex in the middle of the compound. Her gaze is unflinching, laced with concern.

At least I'm willing to answer this.

"I walked back pretty quick. It was…different. Slightly better since some of the stuff was familiar, but no one told me they change over time." I stare at her for a second, taking in her worried expression while I wonder how my father had failed to mention that little detail. "I think I did alright, though. Zander said I'm doing more than enough to pass, and that's all that matters."

"Good," Rachel responds, leaning back carefully. "I was worried. You looked a little panicked when you went in."

"I was. I don't know why. Maybe I don't want to face them? Or maybe I've been facing them enough and I just didn't want to do it?" I answer her honestly, surprised that I'm admitting this. Rachel and I hadn't started out close, but she'd slowly taken over the spot Kat had left empty. I found her to be enjoyable to be around, and not at all judgmental over what was happening. If anything, she was concerned about me, something that Kat certainly wasn't. "Was yours okay?"

"It was…brutal," Rachel confesses, exhaustion creeping into her voice. It washes over her immediately, making her look like she needs a nap. "I wasn't expecting things to change, either. I figured I'd eventually conquer all of my fears by the time initiation ended, and that would be it. I don't know where I got that idea, but you'd think someone would have explained that things can get worse."

I nod, because I feel the exact same way.

I could handle most of what had been thrown at me. I was fine fighting Vinny, still here, still glaring at me every so often, but mostly corralled by Karl back to his own group. I was fine with the physical parts: the fighting, the defense techniques, and even the grueling work outs that Zander insisted would help us. I was fine with running through the city, doing pull ups until my arms hurt, and holding the heavy guns, pressed into my palm by someone not much older than me and then instructed how to kill. But the fear landscapes were trickier, because now, my fears weren't quite the same, nor were they the ones I was expecting.

I knew I would pass, even if I somehow fucked the entire thing up, I would still make it through as an official member here. I wasn't as afraid that I was living a life my father wanted and not the one I wanted, and I wasn't so afraid that I would die alone, having everyone either afraid of me, or thinking I was too stuck up to even be around.

I had learned that what I was afraid of, was letting people get close to me. Not close like Rachel, making easy small talk and sitting on my bed or close like Pink, having grown up with me. Not even close like Kat and I had been, having years of friendship behind us before she decided Zander was her one true love.

Close like Adam, unzipping my dress before his mouth found my neck.

"I thought they just stayed the way they were until we beat them," I stretch my legs out, and I stare at the sheets on the bed. They are dark, neatly made up while I was gone, and pulled taught. "If we _can _beat them. Zander said some people never conquer them."

"Are they that bad? The new ones?" Rachel scoots closer to me, her gaze still unwavering until I nod.

"They're definitely intense. I just…wasn't expecting them."

I hadn't been ready for this new one at all.

The first time Adam had appeared in my fear landscape, he had simply been looking past me, telling me to get out of his way. It had hurt, because at that time, I was struggling with him suddenly being back in my life and not knowing where I stood with him. This time, while I sat there with my heart racing, it was everything else.

For one panic filled moment, he hovered over me, his chest bare along with everything else, and I couldn't do anything but stare up at him. The simulation came to a grinding halt the second I opened my mouth to say his name, and I opened my eyes in real time, to Zander frantically trying to fix the computer.

"Sorry! It just…broke. I don't know. The screens all went black. Don't worry. I can still score you."

My relief was immediate, because not only was it awkward enough that it was Zander conducting the simulation, but I didn't really want him figuring out I was suddenly afraid of the only guy who'd ever gotten close to me.

"Adam was in mine this time. I don't know how to handle that one, and I really don't want him to think I'm totally lame," I stare at the sheets harder, wondering what happened to them once we were done here. "It's the first time in my life I'm doing something on my own, and I feel like I could mess it up just because of who I am. I hate that feeling, because that's not me at all. My parents would be…"

I pause and Rachel smiles knowingly.

"Disappointed that you don't have it all figured out? No, they wouldn't. I'm pretty sure everyone here goes through the same thing during initiation. They'll be proud of you for making it, and proud of you for managing to solve the mystery that is Adam." Rachel snickers, but it's not mean in any way. "All I can say, is he's got it bad for you. Aja said he's majorly distracted lately."

"With what?" I ask, but I know the answer to my own question.

I was distracted too, and I knew it. It was the same way I watched Kenny fall face first into the mat, sitting up with a grin full of red cheeks and a bloody nose, and the only thing I thought was that Adam would have been way more fun to fight against. The same way I looked for Adam when I finished my workout or was disappointed when Zander assigned groups to run with, purposely separating Adam and me because if he couldn't be with Kat for these few hours, I couldn't be with Adam.

I knew exactly what he was distracted with, but maybe I just needed someone else to say it.

She does.

Rachel grins, wider than I've ever seen her smile and tosses her blonde hair behind her.

"You."

* * *

This time, Weasel stares at me from a distance. He smiles, friendly enough but also pissed off enough that I know my father told him to chill on letting me pierce something. He watches me walk past, and I cringe, remembering the last time I saw him, I had been experiencing a complete and total meltdown.

"Hey, Eva!"

I stop when he calls my name, turning in surprise to see him waving at me to come over.

I do, but only because I'm stupidly curious as to what he wants.

"So, your old man came by. Told me it was cool if you wanted to pierce something. I just thought I'd let you know. In case you wanted to pierce something. I do need a model for a few septum piercings. Thought you might be interested."

"Thanks for the offer, but I think I'm good for now. The last thing I need is something for someone to rip out while we're fighting." I smile politely, because while the piercing might be cool, I wasn't entirely keen on the idea that someone could yank it right out of my nose. "But maybe after initiation."

"Cool, anytime."

Weasel steps back, and I leave him in his palace of needles and other skin altering equipment. I get a small speck of satisfaction that my father had probably demanded he shut up and jab a needle into my skin wherever I wanted, and an even bigger rush of satisfaction that the idea felt freeing.

I didn't really have any desire to change my appearance drastically, but just the thought that I could was enough to make me smile my entire walk to dinner.

* * *

"Were you ever going to tell me you got kidnapped?"

By the time dinner rolls around, Dauntless is dark. It's always dark, but tonight it seems extra dark, and it practically swallows my mother up as she sinks into the booth of Clyde's. I watch her carefully, trying to figure out if she looked any different. I was sort of wondering if she looked different because I knew she'd been kidnapped, or if she looked different because she was tired from running from faction to faction, or because her jacket was heavy and seemed to be larger than she was.

"Yes, I did get kidnapped. It was a long time ago," she answers me easily, sliding further into the seat and reaching for a menu like we hadn't eaten here a thousand times. "I'm sorry I never told you. It wasn't something I could just announce with your bedtime story."

"You could have texted it to me," I reach for a menu too, ignoring her scowl and matching eyeroll.

"Oh, okay why didn't I think of that? Hi Eva! Hope initiation is great. By the way, in case it comes up, I got kidnapped once, just for a few days. It was fine. Love you. Bye!" Her tone is heavy with sarcasm, and she sets the menu down without looking at it. "Actually, it was not fine. If you want to know the truth, and I bet you do, it sucked. Bad. I didn't ever bring it up because it wasn't…it wasn't great, okay? I try not to think about it at all."

I look up from the list of appetizers, torn over ordering one just to kill time, and I realize she's staring at me with a strange expression.

"Why was it bad? Did something happen that I should know about?"

My mother chews on her lip, looking to the side of me. She's silent, and I half expect her not to answer.

"Not that I think getting kidnapped would be good. I just…I was wondering why you didn't tell me. You tell me everything." I point out carefully, hoping she won't tell me to forget it.

There was a chance she would.

Despite the entire faction seeming to know an awful lot about my parents, there was a lot people _didn't _know. My mother did tell me a lot of things, mostly all the insider gossip I could ever want to hear: why Linda had retired and how oddly sad my father was, how Jason had single handedly discovered we had a weird squirrel population living in one of the tunnels on the lowest floors, or how Rylan was thinking he might cut his hair, but only by an inch or so.

It was riveting information, but certainly not anything about being kidnapped.

"I don't know. I guess I didn't feel like it would ever come up." She looks around for our waitress, and I wait patiently for her to tell me this story. An hour ago, she'd asked if I could meet her for dinner, and I figured this was what she wanted to talk about. "When I came to Dauntless, everything was complicated. I met your father and he was working for some people, looking at these test results. I fell into the category he was looking for, and he made some sacrifices to keep me safe. A little while later, just when I thought everything was good, I discovered he was dealing with a war started by the factionless. They had a leader, and she wanted to dismantle the factions."

"Was that leader Adam's grandmother?" I smile as Lucy appears, and she already has our usual drinks in her hands.

"Yes," my mother takes hers immediately, and Lucy announces she'll be right back. "She was married to a man named Marcus. She left when Four was young and went to live with the factionless. Before you ask me why, just know his father isn't the greatest person in the world, either and I don't know why she left him there. Anyway, while she was busy living her life, she decided the factionless were being treated unfairly. She wanted to change the system, rip it apart so it was fair, but fair according to her standards. This is where things get complicated."

My mother pauses, and I ignore the buzzing of my phone in the pocket of my jacket.

"She needed help. She needed an army and one that wasn't afraid of losing. So she got together a bunch of factionless and she trained these men and women who were desperate to feel like they belonged. She promised them the world if they helped her. When she thought she had a chance, she made her move."

"What move?" I sip my drink carefully, enjoying the icy burn of the soda. "Did her plan work?"

"Sort of. Evelyn was pretty smart. She learned that I was married to Eric, and she figured if she was going to force his hand in helping her, she had to have something he wanted. So, while I was training a class with Four, one of the initiates said he wanted to fight me."

"Who?" I watch her expression change, and she scrunches up her nose.

"His name was Vincent. Well, he said it was Colton. That's how I knew him. I told him to get back to his class, and not much later, he bashed my head into the wall and walked us right out of the faction. I remember looking up and hearing people yell not to fire, and I kept thinking, any second now, someone should notice something is wrong."

"Did they?" I lean forward, and my phone rings again, interrupting my surprise at hearing this story. "Didn't someone stop him?"

"No. I guess no one noticed at first, but once they did, they were afraid if they opened fire I'd get shot. So, he took me to Evelyn and went on his way. I spent some time with her, and once they knew I was fine and of value, Evelyn tried to strike a bargain with Dauntless. She promised she would give me back to Eric if he would side with her."

"Did he?" I sit here, slowly growing horrified at this story. It had started out totally terrifying. I wasn't immune to the people who didn't like my father, and I'd heard a few whispered rumors here and there. His work hadn't always been the most honest, and even he'd admitted there was a time when he did things he shouldn't have.

I'd never heard this, though.

"No," my mom shakes her head, and for just a moment, she looks amusingly, momentarily, annoyed. "He said no. I sat at a table with her while she read his response. He sent a letter saying Dauntless would not make a deal with her, and I didn't know it at the time, but he was already on his way to come find me."

"He really said no? Dad wouldn't come save you?" I say the words louder than I mean to, and she nods. I couldn't fathom my father ever _not_ trying to find my mother. He often looked at her in a way that told me she was his entire world, and the idea of him refusing to help seemed out of character for him.

"It sounds bad, but he couldn't agree to it. He would have essentially been turning over Dauntless to someone who was power hungry. Not to mention the fact that the other leaders had all agreed that they weren't going to give in to her. As a result, Evelyn injected me with a serum to make me forget who I was and dropped me back off in Amity when Dauntless showed up."

She makes a face at this memory, and I stare at her in total shock.

This wasn't just getting kidnapped by some random factionless man, or as casual as she'd made it sound.

"Were you scared?" I forget all about my dinner, and I wonder how I would have handled this. "Did you try to get away?"

"No, and I got a lot of shit for that," my mother rolls her eyes again, and sort of shrugs it off. "Everyone had an opinion on what I should have done. But I was eighteen years old. I had just married your father, and I was terrified to wake up in a place I didn't know. I wasn't even sure where I was or what had happened. I eventually learned the factionless had their own army; they were trained to kill, they were all armed, and I don't think any of them would have let me walk out the door. Even if I did, I wouldn't have known where Dauntless was or how far I could get before someone found me. It was a pretty helpless feeling. All I could do was hope your father showed up before they killed me and pretend I enjoyed listening to Evelyn."

"Would they have killed you?"

I watch her shoulders bow for a moment at my question. Karl had mentioned that she was strong and had toughed it out, but it sounded like he was missing the actual experience behind it. She might not have come back openly announcing how scared she'd been, or maybe she'd never told anyone. Maybe she'd kept her time with this Evelyn to herself, wanting to come off as brave and fearless.

"Mom?"

She's quiet; she toys with the straw in her drink as a distraction before she answers.

"Evelyn needed me, because she needed a bigger army. She thought Eric would give her that army as an exchange. If she wasn't going to get what she wanted, then she wanted to hurt anyone she could. Including me. She tried to take away the only thing that was important to Eric, knowing it would mess with him. Looking back, I think she might have killed me to make a point. Her injection didn't work the way she thought it would, but it worked enough that I woke up in Amity and couldn't remember anything."

"Why didn't you tell me any of this?" I accidentally knock my menu to the floor, and she frowns.

"It was so long ago, Eva. When I could remember who I was, I felt…like I had to prove something. I don't even know how to describe how frustrating the whole thing was. I couldn't remember anyone or anything. Not my friends, not where I lived, not even your father. He had to show me everything all over again. Our entire relationship was lost. It wasn't a great time for anyone involved so it's not something I usually bring up for fun."

"And Four?" I side eye Lucy as she hovers nearby, telepathically telling her to stay away before my mother gets distracted by ordering dinner. "Was he involved?"

This time, her pause is heavy.

"Yeah," she nods, and her smile doesn't reach her eyes. "Evelyn was his mother. She contacted him asking for help. He wanted to know her, wanted to have some relationship with her, so he trained her army. He helped her prepare for war, told her who I was, told her Eric would agree to help if I was involved. His intentions weren't any of that, though. He believed he was fighting the good fight. He believed her right up until he realized what she was doing, and then it was too late. Four tried to get out of it, but he was in too deep. She had everything she needed, and once she did, she let him know she was done with him."

"And Dad…he just….was good with all this?"

"Oh hell no." My mother laughs again, amused at the very thought. "Your father was so furious. I'm surprised he didn't murder Four the second he could. They got into it a few times and I'm pretty sure it got physical. It took your dad a long time to let go of what happened, and I think it was mostly because I told him to. Eventually, he realized Four was incredibly remorseful for helping her, and they figured out how to get along. Most of the time."

"You still could have told me all this," I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest. "I can't even believe you were kidnapped. Someone just…they grabbed you?"

"While I was walking. My back was turned and Colton, he was much larger than me. He wasn't an initiate. He was a grown man, posing as one. Smashed my head hard enough to knock me out, threw me over his shoulder, and I woke up with the factionless."

"Did it hurt?"

"Yes," my mom waves at Lucy, clearly ready to order. Or quit talking about this. "It hurt a lot. They gave me something for it, but I never knew what. I would honestly have taken a thousand head bashings over having my memory erased. The worst part of the whole thing was when your dad and I were reunited, I couldn't remember him."

"Not at all?"

"No." My mother's expression grows distant, and she seems to shrink back into the booth. "In a weird way I knew things weren't right. When I was in Amity, we had a meeting to announce the death of the leader of Erudite. I saw him on this message they were broadcasting. I kept thinking that I knew him and I needed to find him, but I had no clue who he was."

"Is that when he found you?" I remember my father saying they were apart once, not by choice, and I would bet this was what he was talking about. "He went to Amity?"

"He did. That's a whole other story, but he discovered I was there, and he came in the middle of the night to get me. He was furious I didn't remember him, but I went home with him anyway. I don't think he would have let me stay there even if I wanted to," she shrugs, glancing up at Lucy. "I think we're ready to order now."

"Sure!" Lucy answers brightly, pausing to look at me. "Not to eavesdrop, but are you…you're telling her about when you were gone? I sort of thought she knew."

"I am. It came up the other night, and I realized I should have told her a while ago," my mother looks even paler now, but she smiles at me, then Lucy. "I remember your face when I came back. You looked horrified."

"Well, we thought you were dead," Lucy points out, and she struggles not to look at me. "Are you telling her because you're worried it'll happen to her? Is that what all the security alerts are about?"

Lucy waits for an answer, clicking the pen in her hand a few times. I sit up straighter, also waiting to hear the answer to this. Was this why the security alerts were so high? Was my father paranoid that I'd get kidnapped too, even though it sounded like this Evelyn wasn't around anymore?

"No, they're legitimate concerns. Abnegation was attacked a few days ago. They're thinking it's just factionless messing around, but we have to be careful. That's all. Nothing out of the norm."

"Okay," Lucy answers, but she doesn't look entirely convinced. "Are you two ready to order? Or do you want more time? I don't mean to interrupt."

My mom smiles at her, and twenty minutes later, that smile is still on her face. She looks at me and I immediately know what's coming.

"Are you going to tell me about Adam?"

I shake my head no, focusing on the giant bowl of soup and the salad Lucy had delivered not too long ago. She'd brought our order out faster than expected, and dropped it off without saying much.

"That's not fair at all. I gave birth to you. Without pain medication. You have to tell me," my mother sulks into her own soup, looking much better than she did a half hour ago. "In my childhood home. While your aunts shrieked and Zander demanded to help but also wanted a cookie."

"No one made you do that," I roll my eyes, dreading the very thought of ever giving birth, let alone in Amity. "How did Dad even let that happen? From what I heard, he said Amity is about as clean as Rylan's bathroom."

"Hey, Christina hired a housekeeper for them. So it's pretty clean now." My mom grins, and she graciously shoves the bread and butter at me. "Amity isn't at all dirty. Your father is just…very strong willed. He wanted you born in Erudite. You were stronger willed. You wanted to be born in Amity. So you were."

"Sure, blame me." I want to laugh, but my place of birth had been sort of touchy at the start of my training. "Okay, well, if you have to know, since you gave birth without pain medication for some unknown reason, Adam and I are good. Great. Having fun. I don't know what else you think you need to know."

"Everything." Her answer is immediate, fully supportive, and bright. "Your father thinks he's going to ask you to move in with him after initiation. He and Four were arguing about it the other night. For hours. I kept waking up to them yelling at each other until Tris came and got him. They're both thinking you'll want to live together."

"Sounds like you had a fun night." I make her wait while I butter my bread, and she's clearly been thinking about this for a while. "Just out of curiosity, how did Dad feel about that?"

"Oh, he's terrified. He thinks he's going to wind up a grandfather in the next year." She grins even wider, and takes a spoonful of her own soup, then dumps it back into the bowl. "I think you should do it. Both parts. Move in and get married. I have some free time. I could watch a baby."

"_Mom_!" I shriek her name, because she's laughing, and I know that if I were to announce I was moving in with Adam, even just as his roommate, she and Tris would throw a party while my father had a complete mental breakdown. "I'm going to live alone. Forever. In fact, I'll apply now."

"Well, your father will be relieved." She sounds less cheerful now, but that doesn't deter her at all. "Is Adam….is he….good?"

"Is he good with what?"

"Good? You know. Is he good in…?" She trails off, staring at me the same way I'm staring at her.

"In bed?" I look up at her innocently, and I force myself not to smile because her expression is hilarious. "Couldn't tell ya. Even if I could, I don't think I would."

"Evangelina Coulter!"

It's her turn to shriek, and the table next to us turns to glare.

But I don't care.

It feels so completely good to sit here with my mom, cracking up as she demands to know just what exactly Adam and I have been up to and how could I deprive her of holding a newborn. I know she's joking, and I know she only wants me to be happy, and this is the lightest I've felt in a long time.

It feels really good, so good, that I completely forget to ask her about Blythe.

* * *

There are tons of pictures.

I sit on the floor of my old bedroom, glancing at my phone every so often to make sure I have enough time. I feel a twinge of guilt over not answering Adam's messages yet, but I haven't had the chance.

I'd walked home with my mother after dinner. Clyde's was crowded and noisy, and we left so someone else could take our table. I walked back with my mom mostly because I wasn't ready to venture downstairs yet, and also because I wanted to grab a few things from my room. The apartment was quiet and dark, my father must have been somewhere else, so I used this to my advantage. I slipped into my bedroom and rifled through the closet until I found what I was looking for.

An old book, shoved deep into the corner, buried beneath a pile of books that I'd never touched.

"It _was_ her!"

I exclaim to no one, since I'm the only one in here, and my triumph is short lived.

Amongst a series of vampire novels and dog eared wizard tales, I'd found an incredibly old manual. It was some sort of guide to the factions, and it had a listing of every important person who held a high rank. The manual was heavy and thick, the cover embossed with some weird combination of each faction's logo and covered in dust. I quickly flipped through the pages, pausing so I could pick out the people I knew.

It was pretty fascinating.

My grandfather was in here, listed under the Dauntless faction, wearing a dark unbuttoned uniform. His hair was a mess, haphazardly combed to the side for the photo, and his smile was as uninterested as one could get. His name said only Harrison, and his eyes were narrowed in a familiar squint of disdain.

My father's picture was beside his. He looked mostly the same; his expression was a bit smugger and more arrogant, and his cheekbones were sharper back then. Everything about him looked sharp, including the short haircut and the smirky sneer on his face. His name was boldly listed beneath his photo, and his rank as Leader of Dauntless looked impressive.

Next to him was Rylan, grinning, with his hair falling out of the bun it was tied up in, and his uniform jacket buttoned properly. Jason, with his hair shorter than I'd ever seen it, smiling brightly at whomever was taking the photo, and a tiny pin on his jacket shaped like a UFO. They were listed as leaders as well, and Jason's title also included a list of credentials I wasn't aware of.

Below their photos was Four's.

I grinned at his, because his expression was as weary as I'd ever seen him. His hair was messed up, and his jacket looked like someone had thrown it at him and instructed him to put it on for the picture. I squint for a second, trying to figure out if he and Adam look alike at all, and I realize they don't.

Adam looks far different than Four, and definitely more enthused these days.

I stare at the pictures for a while, all of them looking surprisingly young, younger than I would expect. I flip the page to find a photo of my mother, beaming even though her dress was falling off her shoulder and her hair was most of the picture, and I smile. She and I look a lot alike, and there's a happiness to her that I can't place my finger on. I stare at her picture for a while, Everly Coulter, Ambassador to the Factions written in fancy lettering, and I wonder how many people had looked at her photo.

On the next page, there are others listed from Dauntless: Kacie, looking exactly the same. Arlene, looking like she could leap out from her photo and jab you with whatever vaccine she had just approved. Charlotte, with her hair braided intricately out of the way, and her name listed as our Early Education Supervisor.

I went deeper into the book, waffling between wanting to see if I knew anyone else in the Dauntless section and wanting to find who I was looking for. Erudite won out, and to my surprise, it only took me a few seconds to find them.

My grandfather, with a thousand accomplishments listed beside his name, and his former wife, Blythe Coulter.

There she was.

Staring back at me through an old, dated ID photo.

To be fair, she had an equal, if not as impressive, amount of credentials beside her. It was obvious she had years of study behind her, and she held a high rank as well. Her photo was startling, though. While my grandfather's gave off a hint of warmness, like he would listen to whatever you had to say without judgement, hers gave off an air of extreme hostility. Her expression was severe, downright chilly even. Her outfit was expensive and sharp, the collar of the dress pressed perfectly upright and her hair perfectly flawless.

I half expect her to blink at me from the photo, looking down her nose at me.

I touch the picture for a second, cold slick paper beneath my fingers, and I try to figure her out. While I'm sure there was some honor in having your photo taken for this book, Blythe's disdain could be felt from the decades old ink.

But there she was, right there. The exact same woman I'd bumped into in Erudite, asking me my name.

She's listed as Head Psychologist, Head of the Erudite Psychology Department, head of a million other areas that must have all demanded her time, followed by a string of certifications that make no sense to me.

"Eva? Where are you?" My mother yells from the kitchen, and I look up, feeling a flash of guilt.

The woman in the photo was younger than the woman I'd seen in Erudite, but it was her. One hundred percent there was no way it could be anyone else. She had the same haircut, the same snooty attitude, and the same glint in her eye that made my stomach hurt.

"I'm…I'll be right there."

I close the book immediately, wondering if there was a way I could take it with me. There really wasn't. My mother would see me walk out with it, and while she probably wouldn't care, I had suddenly decided I didn't want to tell her I'd seen Blythe.

Only because she might freak out.

She didn't care that I went to Erudite with Adam, but she might care that I had seen my grandpa's ex-wife.

I flip back through the book one more time, reopening to the section of Dauntless. It's a different page, this one listing a few of the lesser, yet still importantly ranked, patrol leaders and supervisors. I spy a very young-looking Karl, grinning from ear to ear amongst a few others who I don't recognize.

My stare lingers on the one next to him, the man's dark chair curling slightly and his smile teeming with a faux innocence that makes my skin crawl, but I don't have time to read his name.

A second later, I hear my mother walking toward my room. I slam the book shut and shove it back in the closet, just as my mother appears, cheerfully handing me an envelope with my name on it and telling me she'll walk me back downstairs.

* * *

"Alright, listen up, youths. For the next eight lovely, wonderful hours, you're under my command. There is to be no arguing, no disrespect, and no back talk. You do as I say, and we'll have no problems. Because when I'm done with you, you'll be the highest version of yourself. The best and most well trained soldiers Dauntless has to offer. Efficient machines, meant to protect the factions and guard the city. Powerful, beyond your wildest dreams."

"What the fuck," Pink whispers, squeezing in between Rachel and I and trying to play it off like she wasn't late. "What are we doing? Where's Zander?"

"He's out sick. They announced it earlier," Gunner mutters, and his eyes widen when the attention slides to him. "Fuck, sorry, Sir."

"Sir is correct. You'll address me as your Supreme Leader and by the time we're done today, you can also address me as your Favorite and Most Trusted Mentor."

"Oh fuck," I groan, and I wince when his stare whips to me. His smile is full of dark delight, and I suddenly know that today will not just be a normal day. It won't even be one of the toughest days.

It's going to be the longest day of my life.

"Evangelina Coulter, how are you? Excited for today?"

I nod, pushing my hair out of my eyes and smiling, having hoped he'd skip me entirely. "I am."

"Good. Then we'll get started. You'll be in two teams, and I'll give you the rules for picking them in a bit."

"We don't get to pick our own?" Someone calls out, and they're rewarded with a wide-eyed sneer.

"You chose us, now we get to choose you, whatever your name is." He turns to pace in front of us, and he flashes one brilliant and smug grin at all of us. "Now then, are there any other questions before we get started? Don't forget we'll be heading outside so make sure all of you are in your official uniforms."

He stops talking with a wave of his hand, and he waits. There are no questions, only a murmur of both concern and enthusiasm at the unknown over this activity.

It shouldn't have been a surprise. Zander was out sick. I'd heard the announcement from Karl, also sick, sniffling and sneezing as he clomped up the stairs on the walk to breakfast. He'd mumbled a quick hello, told us we'd have a substitute trainer for today, and it was in our best interest to just listen and do whatever he asked. He looked sympathetic, and now I knew why.

We were about to spend the next eight hours under the supervision of Dauntless' most enthusiastic and creative leader, and the only one who might actually cause a few mental breakdowns during this day.

Not just because he had decided to really train us, but because he believed so whole heartedly in his own greatness.

He catches my eye, and I smile, shaking my head slightly.

I could handle him, but I wasn't sure about everyone else.

"Alright, let's head out!"

Rylan cheerfully marches us toward the exit doors, one fist in the air and one terrifying bounce to his step.


	22. Chapter 22

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! The site was really wonky and I'm pretty sure it didn't post all of them, but thank you if you reviewed!

Thanks so much to **Bamberlee** for editing :)

A super important note before you read: the next update won't be until after the new year. I've had pneumonia for a week now, and combined with the holidays and my kids being home for the next two weeks, I've decided to take a tiny break. The next update will be January 3rd!

Have a great weekend and a very Merry Christmas!

* * *

The train seems faster this time.

It whips around the corner sending everyone swaying on their feet, and the only sound is a few murmurs of surprise as they try to regain their balance. Next to me, Adam steadies himself, and his eyes widen when Rylan casually strolls through the car, completely unaffected by the sudden movement as he sizes everyone up.

"Where is he taking us?" Adam bumps my arm with his elbow, and I shrug.

His guess was as good as mine.

We'd been on this train for a good twenty minutes now. I knew there were no sections designed for the train to slow down, and the direction we were heading had a few slow points, but much further out than I would think we would go. Maybe that was part of Rylan's plan. Maybe he was going to instruct us to jump as the train sped up to see how brave we really were and it was likely he'd be unfazed if he lost an initiate or two.

A few feet away, Rylan stops to talk to a boy named Maddox. He seems interested in whatever he's saying, but after a minute, he catches my eye and I can tell he's bored out of his skull. He leaves the kid standing there, and walks past us, down to the end of the car, cornering Brexley and demanding to know exactly how she spells her name. He listens, then sympathizes over having a name that's constantly misspelled.

"You should ask him. See if we're almost there."

Adam moves closer to me, and his suggestion is oddly tense. But even knowing Rylan for as long as I have, didn't change the fact that being left alone with him, on a speeding train, was nerve wracking. There was no telling what he had planned or what his idea of training actually was. It might have been better if someone else, anyone really, was with him. But no one else had shown up when we walked out with Rylan, which made me wonder if any of the leaders knew what we were doing.

It was doubtful.

Rylan was one of Dauntless' greatest mysteries, because no one really knew how someone who seemed to be so cavalier about everything was in charge. We did know he'd passed the same initiation we were currently in. We also knew he had an office, full of all sorts of things he'd found or built, he worked odd hours but never the late shift unless he was forced, occasionally caught things on fire, and we also knew his hair was shinier than anyone else's.

But what exactly he did –other than office work, pushing papers to factions so they'd agree to whatever he needed along with making sure everyone else did their job, and harassing Four– was sort of a mystery. I knew firsthand my father and Rylan were close, incredibly so, and the two of them always sided together in meetings. Jason was their next closest friend, and he usually voted along with them, unless it involved something he thought could be handled more efficiently.

Angela had made a fair point about my father making sure his friends held positions that benefited him. He had surrounded himself with like-minded people, knowing they'd vote in his favor. She'd overlooked the fact that they didn't always, but most of the time, he was bound to secure at least two other votes in their meetings.

Karl usually voted in his favor as well, unless he thought he could improve upon the suggestion. Which was true. I'd heard it was his idea to expand the daycare, making it more practical for children being raised in Dauntless to have an early start on the competition.

That left Angela and Four to oppose him, and I suppose anyone would understand her frustration. Going up against my father and his friends would be an uphill battle. But for good reason. Between them, they had multiple years of experience leading the faction, so it made sense they'd have each other's backs on situations they'd already worked through.

But writing Jason, Rylan, and Karl off, even Four, wasn't fair. Most of them were approachable, easy to get ahold of, and some of the more entertaining parts of the faction. I'd grown up with all of them very invested in my upbringing, and I had to say, they were my favorite parts of living here. I'd been on plenty of adventures that others hadn't, all because of them. Right up to the time Rylan and I hid in my father's office, jumping out to scare him when Rylan was bored of doing his own work and Jason was too busy to entertain him.

My father didn't think we were as hilarious as Rylan did.

I had a special appreciation for them. Rylan and I were close since he'd demanded to be the first, only, and best godfather I could have, and Jason and I were close since I was the only child he'd ever really been around.

Neither ventured down to the training room very often. Rylan seemed to avoid it all together, and Jason only seemed to have an interest because Adam was there. Neither ever expressed any desire to train the classes, and in fact, I'd heard Rylan scoff at the idea more than once.

Which was why his enthusiasm today was terrifying.

"I think he said somewhere just outside of Dauntless," Gunner offers, but he's wrong.

We'd long passed the furthest outpoint of Dauntless. We were heading further and further away, into bright sunlight and a thicket of trees. I stare at them through the window, watching them grow taller, greener, and denser.

"We're already way past Dauntless," someone mutters, and everyone around them turns to gape outside, searching for a clue to figure out where we are. "All I see are trees."

I tilt my head, watching as the train speeds up again, then slows down as it ascends. The trees grow shorter below us, off some sort of valley, pushing us higher into the air. The landscape isn't exactly telling, but if you knew where we were going, it was.

My eyes widen when Rylan's phone rings, and he cheerfully tells whoever is calling that we're downstairs in the training room. He then assures them everything is fine and hangs up before they can get another word in.

"He's taking us to Amity!" I try to whisper this to Adam, but Rylan overhears.

He turns around, his smile far too mischievous for my liking, and I have a feeling he didn't tell a soul we were leaving the faction.

* * *

The train slows down as it banks another turn, and this time, the woods behind Amity come into view. I realize we're outside the faction, but it's an easily walkable distance if you had some free time. Since I'd figured out where we were going, I relaxed. I stood with Adam, listening to him talk to Gunner. They were discussing something from when they went to watch the soldiers in action, but they stop when Rylan clears his throat.

"Alright, listen up! You're probably wondering, why, out of everything we could be doing today, we're on a train heading to Amity. And if you haven't realized you're in Amity, then you might want to brush up on your geography. I believe our resident geographist and general lover of all things boring, Four, can help you with that. Don't ask me. I've never used a map in my life. Anyway, we have a full day planned, so listen to everything I have to say or you'll probably wind up dead."

The train car is completely silent, except for the groan of the train tracks beneath us.

"Once we reach our jumping point, you'll be split into teams. Each team will have a captain and a flag. The object of today's lesson is, obviously, to capture the opposing team's flag by any means necessary. You'll all be armed, and your accuracy will be tracked. Some," Rylan pauses to quickly glance at Adam and me. "leaders believe this game is too dangerous to be playing this initiation. Security threats, factionless showing up, shots being fired into the dark woods, blah blah blah. No one cares. Dauntless soldiers are fearless. We aren't afraid of Gramps, hobbling through the woods to come find us. So today, we will host the War Games. In broad daylight, in the most peaceful faction of all."

"You're having us play the War Games in Amity?" Aja asks, sounding like he's trying not to laugh. "Are they good with this?"

"Fuck no." Rylan shakes his head in sheer delight. "They abhor violence. But I found a way around this. I personally called Harrison and asked. He told me it was fine, the rest of the faction won't be happy, but most of them have training today. So we won't be destroying their fences or their dome, we'll be in the woods. I have permission to use everything outside the main faction, as well as the water tower as a home base. Your only objective is to defeat the other team. He said to stay out of his gardens, and not to touch the chickens. They're a sore subject for him."

"What are the teams?" I ask, and I'm having a hard time believing he's going to let us do this. I had heard my father and Adam's father flat out refused to have the game held at night, claiming it was a security risk. It was unlike either of them to admit something was too dangerous, which meant something was up. Something Rylan was gleefully ignoring. "Who are the captains? Are you one?"

"Again, no. I already did this, and I won. The entire game. By myself." Rylan grins, and his eyes light up. "The captains will be you, and the other one will be Adam. You'll take turns picking your teams, and I suggest you choose wisely. Adam, your father lost every single time he picked his team, so uh, maybe pick the opposite of who he did."

"Didn't he always pick my mom?" I laugh, because my father loved telling me this story. Four always picked my mom so my dad couldn't, and he always wound up losing because she didn't want to play. My father never failed to find her, and she never failed to hand the flag over to him.

"He did. Because…he's petty and it came back to bite him in the ass. Also, because your mother was mostly interested in your father and not the actual game. Anyway, back to me, I will be around to help with whatever you need, but I will also be scoring you. This exercise will show not only marksmanship, but your ability to fire under pressure, critical thinking, and most importantly, how much bloodlust you really have."

"Are we really shooting each other? Like, you want us to bleed for this flag?" Nikolai sounds horrified, and I have to admit I am curious about this, too.

"I wish. All I could check out was the stun guns. They use a weak version of the old neurostim darts. They'll send you to the ground for two minutes. Boring, but they said Arlene couldn't handle that many bullet wounds, so here we are."

"You sound disappointed," Adam wryly observes, and everyone around him snickers.

"I am. But we shall prevail. Also, if you're chicken shit and think you're sitting this exercise out, Harrison has been working to build his own army and they'll be out there as well. If they find you, they might shoot. I don't know what sort of bullets they have, so if you come to me bleeding, I can only send you to Eden and she only has bandages made of lettuce. So, look alive ladies and gentlemen. May the odds be ever in your favor."

"This is so cool," Aja grins, and beside him, Gunner is just as enthused. "Are we picking teams now?"

"Yep. Since Adam is ranked higher, he picks first."

"Shit, we're really going to be running through the woods, shooting each other?" Nikolai sounds grossed out, and he sighs. "I understand your uh, enthusiasm over this game, and I would bet you're only doing it because Eva was disappointed we weren't, but won't Eric and Four be upset over this? You told that person on the phone we were still in Dauntless. Aren't you worried about being responsible for all of us when they discover we aren't even in the very faction they think we are?"

"My dear, precious Nikolai. I fear nothing, let alone Eric. My only fear of Four comes from the fact that some days, he sits a little too close to me in our meetings. If he's upset that his son must complete an age-old traditional part of initiation, then let him be. He needs something new to sulk over anyway. I'm tired of hearing that he doesn't like the paper straws Jason is making everyone use."

Nikolai looks at Adam, and Adam grins. "Come on, man. It'll be fun. The darts don't even hurt. We already got shot with them when we did the mock version of this exercise."

"He's right," Rylan agrees, and he glances out the window. "Pick your teams. We only have a few minutes."

"Okay, I pick Gunner." Adam easily picks his best and closest friend before he smirks at me, assuming he's about to win this entire game by picking a team of the strongest, fastest, and best initiates.

Joke's on him.

I'd also been trained for this.

"Your turn, Coulter."

I survey the train car, and I'm met with a lot of hopeful stares. I know most of them, but something hits me, and it's the pure want of being on a winning team mixed with the pain of being picked toward the end or maybe thrown on a team that didn't really want you. Adam wasn't exactly known for being approachable, and now, it was clear he wanted to win, and wouldn't be picking the ones who were struggling. I smile back at a few, girls who I sort of know, or had worked out alongside, but they hadn't even tried to say hello because of who I am.

After a few seconds of silence, Rylan nods, encouraging me to go on, and I make up my mind.

"I'll make this easy. I want every girl on my team. Plus Nikolai. Adam can have all the boys. We jump first."

Adam looks at me, not even bothering to hide the grin that tells me he thinks my plan is going to backfire. I smile back, and Rylan's smirk is slow while he tries to figure out what I'm doing. Whatever his conclusion is, he likes it.

"Done. Boys head to Adam, girls plus Nikolai head to Eva. This is already turning out way better than I thought it would."

"Why did you pick Nikolai?" I turn to see Rachel and Pink already by my side, and they step closer as Kat slowly creeps up a few steps, but winds up pushed to the side when Brexley and Brentley shove past her. "Doesn't he want to be on Adam's team?"

"You'll see," I promise, finally meeting Kat's nervous stare. I smile, not as friendly as I normally would, but nice enough that she won't feel like the odd man out during this. "Everyone get ready. I think we're not far away now."

"She's right. Ladies! To the doors!"

Rylan announces the words with sheer excitement, and there's a rush as everyone on my team moves forward.

"You'll jump in exactly one minute. You can hide the flag, keep it on you, or pass it around. Don't forget, the woods are fair game. Water tower is where we'll meet up if you need a break, Dome is where we'll be for lunch. You'll have up to four hours to play, then we'll reconvene to eat. Two hours after lunch if the flag hasn't been captured. If it has been captured, we'll spend some time with Harrison and friends. If you're _really_ good, I'll send you all home early so you can rest up and tell Zander how much better your day was with me."

"Sounds like a plan," I grin, and I move to join my team. I stop behind the wall of girls waiting to jump, and I feel nothing but appreciation that Zander had come down with his man cold. "Tell us when."

"Now!"

Rylan gives us zero time to prepare. He instructs the first girls to jump, and everyone scrambles forward. The train has slowed down enough that it's not a terrifying time to leap, but there's a buzz of excitement anyway. I'm pushed closer by the boys impatiently preparing to jump. I wind up in front of Adam, and his chest bumps my back as he bends down.

"You think you're going to win, don't you?" He says the words lowly in my ear, and I smile. "Really? All girls? You think that's your winning strategy?"

"When I do win, try not to take it so hard. Maybe you'll score higher on the next activity." I turn to grin up at him, and he looks at me in total surprise.

I don't wait for him to say anything else; I follow Brexley as she jumps, and seconds later, my boots hit the damp earth along the train tracks.

* * *

"What's the plan? We don't have long before they come after us."

Brexley and Brentley both stare at me, wide eyed with impatience, along with everyone else. I find myself in the middle of our team, surrounded by people waiting for me to make a decision on how this was going to play out. Ironic, since none of us had really played this game before, but also perfect, because I knew all about it.

Despite my father's sudden aversion to the game after he deemed it a security risk, I knew how to play it. He had already told me how to play, general rules, a few tactics on how to ambush the other team, and explained that at the end of the day, the easiest way to win was by playing dirty.

My mother had rolled her eyes when he said this, but when he wasn't looking, she agreed he was right.

He'd won almost every time, and not just because he had the best aim.

"Who wants the flag? Whoever takes it, make that your sole focus of the game. Don't worry about getting shot, we'll keep you covered."

"I'll take it!" Rachel immediately volunteers, and I hand her the fabric Rylan had pushed into my hands while I was lining up. "Who do you think has the flag on Adam's team?"

I mull this over quickly, knowing we don't have long. Rylan had given us a single minute to jump, and we had heard him yelling for Adam's team to get ready as we scrambled to our feet.

"I'm gonna guess Adam. He's determined to win. He won't hand it over because he thinks someone else will lose it." I chew on my lip for second, and I know I'm right. "Let's head into the woods. We can pick the best vantage point from there. They'll follow our footprints but if we stay here long enough, they'll find us."

Everyone, including Kat, nods.

"Alright then. Let's go!"

I'm met with a round of cheerful grins, and it's like they know we'll win. The feeling is good, far better than expected, and there's a rush of vibrant comradery we haven't had before. We take off as a team, heading deep into the looming forest without looking back.

All around us, the woods create a dark canopy, drawing us in deeper and deeper, until the train tracks are completely gone from our sight.

* * *

"Can we talk?"

I turn in sheer surprise to find Kat beside me. We'd been out here for a couple hours now, and to my surprise, it was way more fun than I had anticipated. We'd explored the woods quickly, pleased when we found all sorts of wooden structures to hide in; ancient rotting treehouses built for the Amity children, some crappy pens for animals that were no longer brought out here, even some dilapidated barns. At first, I had hesitated in picking this location as a place to hide out. I didn't like the ominous vibe it gave off. There was minimal sunlight in this particular area, and I would bet that's why it wasn't used anymore.

But it offered protection from the other team, so we took it. We divided our group in half; half stayed here to defend our flag, and the other half took off, carefully and silently slipping through the imaginary perimeter we'd set up to shoot anyone who came close.

Another hour passed and we'd managed to take down twelve of the boys from Adam's team. They hobbled away, swearing and snarling in defeat, yelling for someone else to come try. After a few more were shot, they all retreated to regroup, realizing we had the upper hand. By the time I'd sunk down onto the wooden floor of a treehouse I wasn't so sure was safe, I was grateful for the break.

"Sure, what's up?" I stare as Kat gingerly sits down beside me. The wood creaks, somewhat safe for one of us, but probably not both. It has a strange feeling to it, like the wood was permanently damp out here, or maybe I was just cold. "How you've been?"

"Eva, stop. Don't…don't be like that. I came to apologize. I know I've been a total asshole to you. I took out every single thing I was going through on you, because I could. I think I did it because I thought you'd forgive me no matter what I said. But really, I shouldn't have said any of it. I've been trying to figure out how to talk to you about this for days now."

I let her words hang there, and I shrug.

"Eva…"

"You weren't very nice to me. I'm not sure what I ever did to you that made you think I was so terrible." I remind her, feeling a flash of annoyance when I think about all the shit she said to me. I was the first person to agree it was coming from a place of hurt. Panic, maybe. Fear, that not only would she fail, but she'd lose everything.

Including Zander.

It still didn't make it right.

"And my uncle, really? I don't care who you date, but you could have told me it was him."

"I know." She nods, wrapping her arms around her knees. I get no satisfaction in how crappy she looks. Her hair is a mess, she looks run down, and even her uniform seems ill fitting. She smiles feebly, shivering as the wind picks up.

"I don't even know how to explain to you what's happened with Zander. I never told you that I met him before. I ran into him a few times before training." She speaks softly, like she's afraid I'll turn and shove her right out of the tree. "I don't even know how to tell you why I like him. It's just…he's the only person who's ever liked me for me. No one else really cared if I made it or not."

"That's not true! I cared! You just chose not to be around me!" My words are louder than I'd like, and I peer out over the railing, trying to see if anyone was coming near us. "You said I sucked. You said I kept secrets from you and you treated me like garbage. And I still cared if you failed or not!"

"I know, I know. Zander's pointed that out a few times. I know I was wrong. I just didn't want to admit it," she answers miserably, and I glance over at her.

I should be smirking over how upset she looks, but I'm not.

"I don't even care that you're dating him. I asked you a million times where you were and you could have said with him." I tilt my head when I hear a crunching sound, and I squint into the endless woods, trying to see if it's someone from my team or Adam's. "I wouldn't have been that mad. Zander is…he's a nice guy."

"He's really nice. Nicer than anyone I've ever met. I just…do you ever just hope someone cares about you? Like so badly it physically hurts? I'm so afraid he's going to dump me when this is over. He was distraught that you were mad and it still bothers him."

"Let's not brush off how you also felt the need to tell me how terrible Adam and I are." I remind her, rising up onto my knees. "Or have you forgotten that?"

"I didn't mean it. I don't think you're awful together. It just seemed ironic since you swore he never spoke to you. Eva, I didn't mean any of it. I wanted to apologize." Kat's tone is desperate, realizing this won't be as easy as muttering all this at me. She could. Eventually, I'd accept her apology and forget about it. But right now, I wasn't so sure I could trust her.

After all, if I sucked, why would anyone want to be my friend?

"Yeah, well, maybe you meant what you said. Maybe all those things were what you'd been thinking, and you were finally brave enough to say them. Maybe…maybe we aren't meant to stay friends after all this." I answer her, not totally having made up my mind on any of this, but unwilling to forgive her just because she expected me to.

"Eva no! I didn't mean them. I swear!" I glance over to see her face fall, but that's not the only thing that falls. A second later, there's a crack as someone shoots, and she shrieks as they manage to hit her in the arm. "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

I don't wait to save her.

Not this time.

I jump down from the treehouse, glancing around frantically. The shot came from the same vantage point we were at, and it could only be one person.

Nikolai.

* * *

"I couldn't listen to her yammer on anymore. She's only sorry because once this whole thing is over, she knows you and Adam will go on to be happy. Her future with Zander is up in the air. In fact, it's made him sick if you ask me."

Nikolai talks quickly while we walk. We'd left Kat in the treehouse, groaning that her arm hurt, and he and I walked closer to Amity.

"By the way, thanks for picking me. If I had to listen to Aja talk about how many squats he does on a daily basis, I might have shot everyone on the team myself and shoved the flag down their throats."

"No problem," I grin, carefully stepping over the canyon of boulders. "I know you don't want to play this game, and I know Adam's team is super intense."

"They are. Bunch of raging hormonal boys all excited to shoot at things," Nikolai scoffs, as if he weren't the same age as them. "Not to mention the fact that you freaked them out by picking all girls. While competitive, most are struggling with the idea of shooting the girls they like. They were frantic on the train."

"I figured." I laugh, imagining Aja's struggle if he found out Rachel had the flag.

"I have no desire to listen to Adam bark out orders at everyone. He's not quite the brilliant strategist he thinks he is." Nikolai continues, and we walk further, until one of the barns of Amity comes into view. I had picked Nikolai because I knew he hated this game, but he was an excellent spy. He had a knack for overhearing everything that went on, and people felt compelled to let him in on their deepest secrets. Maybe it was because he seemed older and wiser, or maybe it was because he didn't give a shit, and if he did, it meant he cared.

I also knew he was still reeling from his mother's attack on practically everyone in the faction, and no one else would understand that more than me.

"I bet. Hey, I do need one thing from you, and it's the only thing I'll ask. Who has the flag on their team? You were standing toward the back by them on the train when they were discussing it."

I pause, glancing at Nikolai out of the corner of my eye. I knew it was a long shot. He more than likely knew, but his hatred of this game might be enough to make him keep his mouth shut.

To my delight, he smiles.

Widely.

"Aren't you clever? Well, I'm gonna bet you already know the answer to that question."

He points toward the barn, the large and sun washed structure that technically we weren't supposed to be in and he shrugs.

"Through there, yell if you need anything. I'll keep an eye on things out here. Godspeed, my Captain."

With that, Nikolai mock salutes me, then walks off, looking incredibly relieved to have a break.

* * *

"Are you sure this is a good idea? What if you lose? Isn't this going to distract you from the game you think you're winning?"

Adam says the words against my lips, and I smile back sweetly. His nose is cold, and so are his hands.

"Who cares? It's just a game. I just didn't want Rylan to think no one would like it. I felt like this was personal, like he's having us play it because he knew I wanted to." I answer softly, trying to work the buttons of his uniform jacket off. It takes longer than I'd like, because my fingers are cold and so is this barn.

I had found Adam in here, wandering around looking bored out of his skull.

To my surprise, he wasn't with his team, surrounded by his friends or stomping through the woods trying to find us. He looked like he was enjoying a moment of silence and the chance to warm up, and he wasn't expecting anyone to come in here.

He'd turned around to see me standing there smiling, and I gave him the opportunity to shoot. I knew he wouldn't, and I was right. He didn't even reach for his gun; instead, he smiled and asked where my team was. It only took a few minutes of explaining that I was bored with this game before he reached for me and pulled me back onto the piles of hay waiting to be put away.

"How's your team?"

"Lousy. Arguing over how we can take down your team," he mutters, completely distracted by taking my hair out of the ponytail I'd put it in. He yanks it harder when it tangles at the end, then shoves his hands in to grasp the back of my head. "Upset that your team got the better look out spot. Rylan laughed when we told him where your team was."

"Sounds like a bunch of sore losers," I tease, and I laugh when he pulls me onto his lap. He takes a second to adjust us, spreading his legs wider, and his hands move away from me. "Why are you in here? Why aren't you out there with…" I lose my train of thought when he lets go to shrug his jacket off, and he resumes kissing me as his jacket lands beside him. "Gunner."

"Don't talk about Gunner now." Adam ignores me, grasping the fabric of my jacket and trying to yank it off without letting go of me. "Is the flag in your jacket?"

"Rachel has it," I answer, figuring I owe him a second of honesty here. "She's been great. Who knew that our resident French speaking friend had it in her to keep the flag from getting caught?"

"Are you sure you should be telling me this?" Adam stops to look right at me, but he's kidding. His lips turn up and he touches my cheek as he pushes the hair off my face. "You're freezing."

"Well, the woods are cold. I should have dressed warmer." I watch him carefully, and he pulls me back further onto his lap. The position makes me smile, because if anyone walked in, they'd definitely know we weren't focused on the game anymore.

At least Adam wasn't.

"Your father would be very displeased that you only brought one jacket," Adam reminds me, pulling my face closer. My nose bumps against his, and I smirk against his lips.

"Are you gonna be the one to tell him you took it off?"

He laughs against my skin, and for a few warm, lazy minutes, I forget that outside, our teams are still busy milling around, fighting for the flag. I ignore the shrieks of both joy and horror that drift into the barn, and I turn my full attention to him, impatient and focused beneath me. He lingers for just a moment, then groans when he pulls his mouth away to remind me the others will be looking for us soon.

"We don't have very long. Rylan said we had until noon then…"

I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. One of my hands is behind his head, my fingers curled into soft hair while my other rests on his chest. I move it lower, liking the way he holds his breath, and he locks eyes with me when I find the waistband of his pants.

"And then…" I question slowly, and he freezes when my fingers find what they want.

His pocket.

It's awkward given the position we're in, but he sits upright, and I lean back triumphantly.

"I just wanted to thank you," I tell him, and his cheeks are red. Actually, he looks really red now, his skin flushed, and I smile even wider. I can suddenly imagine that look on him in a very different situation, and the idea makes my stomach tighten.

"For what?" he blurts out, and he tries to move me back close to him. "Eva…"

"Rylan! I won!" I yell loudly, and I manage to climb off Adam's lap as his eyes widen. "I have the flag!"

"Are you serious?" Adam jumps to his feet and reaches for his jacket with an urgency that wasn't there before. "SHIT! EVA!"

I watch his expression change. It goes from frustrated, to confused, a flash of annoyance, a flash of impressed realization that I had won the game, and then determination. He stands there for a second, keeping his stare locked on mine, then he takes a very slow step toward me.

"That's cute, but there's no way I'm letting you turn that in. Rylan isn't even here. He's been inside for hours. Said it was too cold out. You'll have to make it all the way to your grandpa's before you can officially claim to have won."

I stare at him, his lips turning into a satisfied smirk while his eyes narrow, and I realize he's right.

I had the flag now, but that didn't mean he'd let me keep it.

Good thing I knew every inch of Amity.

"Eva…"

Adam says my name lowly, but I take off, sprinting out the barn doors, past a waiting Nikolai, completely forgetting my jacket behind.

* * *

I don't make it very far.

Adam is just as fast as I am, probably faster, and he does his best to catch up to me as I try to cut through the woods.

"Eva, give me the flag back! That wasn't fair at all!"

I laugh at his words, feeling more arrogant than I should for someone running so fast, with no jacket, through a rough, uneven section of the forest. I turn sharply, hoping he'll slow down since he doesn't know the ground slopes, but I'm the one who stumbles.

My boots catch on a dead tree branch, and I hit the ground harder than expected.

"Fuck."

I shove myself away from the dirt and brush, and I wipe my hands quickly. The cut from before stings, now reopened to a bloody mess, and I groan at the thought that I should probably see Arlene for a bandaid. I push that thought aside, because even though Adam is still a good distance behind me, if I stay here, he'll catch up eventually.

"Shit, the flag." I realize I've dropped it, but I spy the bright yellow a few steps away. I reach for it, stumbling for a second until my fingers touch the worn fabric, then I rise up in triumph.

"EVA COULTER!"

"Over here!" I yell back, and I turn to start running again, thinking it won't take me long to find Rylan.

I can run pretty quick and my grandpa's house is maybe a few minutes from here. But I don't get very far. Anywhere, actually.

Because in front of me, there's someone standing, and it's not Rylan or Adam.

"EVA! Where did you go?"

I glance back over my shoulder, panicking more than I'd like, and I realize Adam has gone a different direction than I had. He'd smartly avoided taking the ravine, but that meant he wasn't as close as I had thought.

"Can I help you?"

I blink at the man before me, just standing there, watching me.

The panic hits harder, worse than the simulation, and very much on par with the one where Adam walked right past me.

"Hello?" I call out, but he doesn't answer. His smile is sickeningly slow as he watches me backing up, trying not to look like I was preparing to turn and run. "Do you need some water?"

It wasn't uncommon to run into someone who was factionless. For the most part, they were usually harmless. A little hungry, and a little irritable over being out in the cold and cast aside. Sometimes desperate, begging for something to eat or drink. They favored the Amity and Abnegation factions because they usually helped without question, and they were smart enough to know that a feigned smile got them more than a nasty sneer.

This man has neither of those expressions.

Only pure and terrifying glee at bumping into me.

"Hey Eva."

He steps closer, into a section of rare opportunistic sunlight, and his face is lit up.

I immediately step back again. My father wouldn't be retreating, but he also wouldn't be standing here, letting this man just wander closer and closer.

"That's your name, isn't it?"

He moves in an unhurried pace. He must know the forest well; he walks without looking, keeping his eyes trained on me.

My boots crunch over a branch, and the snap makes me jump.

"Eva Coulter? From Dauntless? _The_ Eva Coulter?" The man keeps walking, and once again, I don't know his name.

A few days ago, he'd been well dressed. His shirt had been pressed as nicely as Blythe's, and his jacket had been crisp and new. Even his haircut was the same, typical Erudite special, neatly parted and perfectly cut.

He looks different today.

His jacket is worn, a dark color that reminds me of something I'd see around Dauntless, and his hair isn't parted. He smiles, showing all of his teeth, and he keeps his eyes on me.

"I think maybe it's time I formally introduce myself. It seems these …_run ins_ are becoming a thing now."

I keep my stare on him, but I keep stepping back. I mentally remind myself the ground is rising behind me and I'm careful with where I step. I would take off running, but I don't want him to have any advantages over me.

"What do you want? Why were you with Blythe?"

His expression changes; it darkens to a glower of satisfaction, and he shrugs.

"I bet you have lots of questions about her. Unfortunately, you won't be getting any answers today. Neither will anyone else." His eyes flick to the trees, and I try not to look away from him.

The air around me grows absolutely still. There's a slow hum that vibrates through the air. Sort of wiry and electric and it symphonizes with the rustling of the tree leaves. Somewhere, high above me, someone is up in the trees. I glance around quickly, knowing there's a camera or two out here, but before I can figure out where, one falls.

Right out of the tree.

It lands with a heavy thud. It mocks me, the lense cracking from the high fall, the wires roughly cut and ripped apart, and a wheezing groan as the mechanical guts rattle from their fall.

I take another step back, shaking my head. I scan the woods behind him trying to figure out the best route of escape.

"ADAM!"

I call his name again, hoping he's nearby. He'd sounded close before, but I don't know where he is now.

"Adam. Yes, Adam. Where _is_ he? What's Adam's last name? Is it… oh gosh, don't tell me. Let me guess. I'm gonna say his father is none other than the wonderful, unbeatable, absolutely miserable Four."

The man grins again, his lips curling up in delight and I panic at the way his face changes. There's pure malice behind it, and I have a feeling I only have a few more seconds before I need to run.

"Blythe will like that. I had guessed that's who he was but I wasn't entirely sure. Been a long time since I was with Tris. But I figured out you were Eric's daughter right away. You look just like Everly. Same dumb fucking hair that she never bothered to get out of her face, and same tiny frame that'll be easy for me to dispose of."

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

My chest clenches so tightly I almost keel over. This is nothing like the simulation. Even as real as they had been, I knew that at some point, it all stopped, and Zander would be waiting there for me.

This doesn't have that same feeling.

"You know what's funny? I saw all your friends out there, playing this dumb fucking game. I had to play it, too. Then I got to watch when your mom played. Ironically enough, she cheated too. She always thought she was above the rules. I guess once you got into bed with Eric, anything was possible."

"What do you want?"

I step back again, and in the distance, Adam yells my name. To my horror, he sounds further away rather than closer. He yells it again when I don't answer him, and then once more, even louder as the trees rustle again.

"Poor guy. Sounds like he misses you. And really? What do I want? Fuck, you're just as stupid as your mother was. What I want, little _Coulter_, is you. I had promised Blythe I'd leave you alone, but I guess I'll be the one to tell you. She doesn't want anything to do with you. She just wants to fuck with Everly."

"No," I shake my head, and I wonder if the person in the tree is still there. They're clearly part of this, which means I am trapped. I try to walk faster, at least giving myself the chance to put some distance between me and them. "That's not true. She didn't even say…"

"She doesn't believe you're Eric's daughter. Once we visit her, she'll tell you. Then you and I will really have some fun. We'll see what Eric and Everly are willing to do to get their only child back."

I open my mouth to yell, to scream really, but I don't get a chance.

"Don't stress, Eva. I'll tell you what's gonna happen. Before your friend gets here, we're gonna talk. You and me. Then, when I have what I want, we'll go see Blythe. We'll see what your daddy says about you going missing. Then, if you're good, and your dad agrees to what I want, maybe I'll take you with me. The factionless might like you. They like destroying things that are pretty."

"ADAM!" I scream his name one more time, praying he's close by, and I turn. I turn to run just as he lunges for me, but neither of us actually succeed in our plans.

A shot rings out, loud and explosive, right past me.

"Fuck."

The man crumples to the ground, clutching his head in agony and he writhes in pain. "Fuck you, you…" He barely gets this sentence out before he collapses, but there's no blood. He yanks at his head, the dart lodged perfectly into his temple, and he holds it out in confusion.

"The fuck is this…"

His words slur, right along with my thoughts.

"Eva, RUN!"

The voice behind me yells, and it takes me too long to realize it belongs to Adam. He's running right toward me, his gun drawn, his face steeled into sheer determination and his skin pale. I almost don't recognize him, but he's the one who shot this man, right in the head

"Eva are you okay?" Adam calls out to me, and I retreat from the man's form on the ground. He'd made a few odd noises, probably because the dart was kicking in, but I didn't know what it was doing. I'd never heard of anyone being shot in the head with one, and I wondered if it was making it hard for him to think.

All I knew was the guns caused temporary paralysis, but not for long.

"Yeah, we gotta go! We have to leave now! There's someone in the tree!" I answer Adam louder than I mean to, panicked until I can see he's right in front of me. I reach for him without thinking, without bothering to see if the man is still conscious or if his friend is coming for us, and I grasp Adam by his shirt. I cling onto him, the fabric slipping between my fingers as I rise up until my lips touch his. I kiss him frantically, feeling a sense of grateful desperation for him saving my life and I allow myself a single second of feeling safe despite what had just happened. "Adam…"

"Okay, we have to find someone," Adam answers slowly, and his blue eyes find mine. "Eva, are you sure you're…"

"Yeah, I'm fine. He was just looking for me. He said he was going to take me to see Blythe."

"Did you tell your dad about her? I thought you were going to tell him?" Adam asks, watching as I reluctantly shake my head no.

"I didn't want to. I guess I thought…." I trail off, glancing down at the man a few feet away. He's still groaning, but his eyes have shut. "He knows who we are."

"Shit, you have to tell your dad. Or I have to tell him. Maybe it's your grandma. Maybe she set this up!" Adam speaks quietly, and he pulls me in the direction opposite the man. "Eva, come on. We'll tell Rylan. I don't know how long the tranquilizer lasts. Rylan said two minutes."

"Okay." I let go of him, and my hands shake. The action throws me off, but I ignore it. I glance back, and I notice there's something beside Blythe's friend. "Wait, hold on."

"Eva…" Adam says my name pleadingly, but he follows behind me as I return to where I was. Next to this man lies a vial, larger than expected, full of a light blue liquid. "Eva, do not touch that."

I ignore him.

I crouch down slowly, keeping an eye on my friend as he screws his eyes shut. There's some blood where he ripped the dart from his head, and his breathing has slowed down. I wait for a second to make sure he doesn't move. My fingers touch the vial, a cold, strange glass that hasn't shattered, and I shove it in my pocket.

I don't know what it is. It has the faintest lettering etched into the side, and I have the sickening feeling it was meant to be injected into me.

"Okay, okay, let's find-"

My words die as I feel a hand grab my leg. I react without thinking, kicking away furiously and stomping on his hand as soon as it's away from me. He howls in pain, but it's short lived. He manages to get hold of my arm, pulling me right back down with him. My head bumps his, then something jagged, sharp enough to send a flash of pain through the side. I groan as he reaches for my neck, but I have no plans of dying today.

I shove him away from me, kicking wherever I can and as hard as I can, and luckily for me, I connect with something that hurts enough for him to let go. I faintly register Adam trying to help, but the rest of the shuffle is a blur. I finally wrench away from him when the second shot rings out, this time completely different.

"Mother fucking asshole! I thought Everly already shot you! So did Karl!"

I push my hair out of my eyes and I'm helped to my feet by Adam. He holds me upright, his hands frantically sliding through my hair to figure out where I was bleeding from. He keeps saying my name, but my eyes are glued past him, to the man who also saved my life.

My grandfather.

He's right there, standing a few feet away, holding a gun that is most certainly not loaded with tranquilizers.

"You come here, thinking you'll disrespect my faction. Not on my watch, you lowlife."

He speaks calmly, his face tight with a tension I haven't seen before, and a dark look I don't recognize. He aims the gun right at the man, and he doesn't flinch as he pleads for his life.

"Harrison! NO, NO, NO! Don't kill him! Eric wants him!"

The panic recedes like a wave as I realize it's Rylan yelling, racing through the woods and leaping over a branch like it's nothing. He, too, has a look of panic, this one familiar. It's the same look he had when he realized he'd actually hurt Four's feelings, once, by insulting his hair. The same look he had when my father was really mad at him, or when he and Jason were truly fighting over who my dad liked more.

It was the panicked look of a man who had taken an entire training class out of the faction and dropped them off in the woods then went inside for a leisurely visit with some of the locals rather than watching them.

But just like anyone would think, it's short lived.

"Eva, oh thank God. You're okay!"

He tries to rip me away from Adam, and I somehow haven't even moved. I'm leaning against Adam, and his grip on me is so tight that Rylan frowns, and confusion flashes over his face

"Um, are you okay?"

"No, she's not okay! That guy was going to kill her! She said there's someone else. In the tree." Adam answers before I can, snapping the words at Rylan while Harrison glares from behind him.

"Rylan, I'm going to shoot him. He's not in your jurisdiction. Amity is mine." My grandpa points this out while he raises the gun again, ignoring Rylan furiously pleading with him not to shoot.

"If you kill him, we get no answers! You taught me that!"

"Eva, are you…are you okay?" Adam pulls me back away from the groaning body and Rylan and Harrison arguing. One of his hands is on the side of my head, keeping me pressed close to him. I nod against him, and by the time I can speak, my words are croaky.

"I want to go home."

* * *

"Let go of her."

"No."

Adam glares at my father, and my father glares at Adam. There is a silent, emotionally driven stand off as the two men in my life both stand there, asking me to come with them. To be fair, Adam was winning mostly because I was panicking. It was a sickly feeling, one that felt shameful and embarrassing and led me to believe I should have picked Amity instead of Dauntless. I should have picked a life of raising chickens and picking flowers and not one where people wanted to murder me.

Every time I thought I was okay enough to lift my head away from Adam's chest, the world proved I wasn't. My vision tilted, my head throbbed, and I couldn't breathe.

Lucky for me, Adam didn't let go.

He only held on tighter, even when my father showed up. Murderous was a weak description for how he looked. Enraged didn't even cover it, and had I been a little less dizzy, I might have feared for Rylan's safety.

He wasn't even in here. After Adam announced there was someone else in the woods, it was like some strange wave of action started. Men and women from Amity and Dauntless both showed up, and what unfolded was some sort of chaotic, loud, messy battle to see who could find the second person. The ones from Amity were determined to defend their territory, and the soldiers from Dauntless were determined to win, because that's just who they were.

Neither side found anything.

"Eva, I need you to come with me."

My father barks the words at me as though I'm a small child and he fully expects me to listen.

Normally I would.

But he hadn't been there, not when the man had been.

I had learned his name was Jeremy, he had actually worked in Dauntless, but that didn't make things any better.

I shake my head slowly, and my father stares. He kills time by swallowing down whatever he was going to command, and instead he stares at me. Grey eyes wide and unblinking, until my grandmother grasps his hands in hers and instructs him to follow her for some tea.

"I don't want any fucking tea."

He snarls at her, the words and tone normally an offense that would land him in trouble, but my grandmother understands. She shushes him, unafraid of him and his rage, and somehow leads him away from the kitchen.

"Drink the tea, Eric. I have to look at her hand."

Her words send a spark of fear through me, and I wonder what she means. I'd neglected to do anything when I cut it while climbing because it seemed fine. I'd ripped it back open during the fight with Jeremy, but it wasn't as bad as my head.

It was throbbing.

Maybe because I'd hit it while fighting for my life, or maybe it was the stress of what happened.

Or maybe because this was feeling like my fault. Had I just told someone I'd run into Blythe, none of this would have happened.

"You should tell him," Adam half whispers, right as Rylan comes bursting through the door. His look of triumph is dulled only by the fact that he knows my father is mad at him, but he's undeterred. In the woods, he'd announced that finding Jeremy was a good thing.

He'd vanished years ago, and now, he had resurfaced with a plan to get back at my parents.

And Four.

"Is she….Eva you're good, right? I mean, besides the bleeding head and the fact that you look ready to pass out."

I lift my head away from Adam, pleased when the room doesn't tilt or spin and I stare at Rylan. He looks hopeful, almost too optimistic, but still hopeful.

"I'm alright. I'm just freaked out by what happened."

I figure answering him honestly is best now, and I step forward, feeling the chilly air now that I'm away from Adam.

"Rylan, I didn't tell anyone, and I should have, but I saw Blythe in Erudite. Adam and I went the other night, and I bumped into her. That man was with her. I should have told someone, but I thought…I thought maybe she wanted to know who I was."

The hopeful expression falls right off Rylan's face.

"You saw Blythe?"

Rylan steps closer to me, and in this moment, he looks older than I remember him looking. His cheeks aren't as filled out as they once were, and he looks mildly stressed. His hair is a mess, not at all unusual for him, but it's from running through the woods, and he seems taller. More like an actual adult I should be listening to, and less like the Rylan who took me to breakfast and told Four to go away.

"Blythe? You saw…your dad's mom and you didn't tell him?"

His tone makes my heart sink, because I've clearly made a huge error by not telling him.

"I didn't…I didn't think anything of it. She just asked my name and that was it. She didn't tell me who she was." I stare up at Rylan, his grimace darker than I'd like, and shake my head. "Rylan, I'm so sorry. My dad is going to kill me. This is my fault. I didn't tell him and they came after me."

"No, it's not your fault," Rylan's expression turns guilty, and he crushes me against him. His jacket is as rough as my father's, and I can feel him exhaling heavily as he hugs me tightly. "Blythe is a piece of shit person. She tried to hurt your mom over and over again. She even went to some weird, stalker like efforts to get all the dirt on her she could. I don't know how she got hooked up with Jeremy, but they both have some issues."

"I should have told someone," I answer, dimly aware of people filing into my grandmother's kitchen.

"She would have found you regardless. It's my fault- I brought you here. I figured Amity would be the perfect spot. Harrison had his army practicing today, and I wanted you to get to experience the War Games. I just didn't mean the _real _War Games. It's okay, though. We got Jeremy, and with almost no effort on our part, we'll make him talk. So, in a way, congrats. I think you found whose been fucking with Dauntless. That's more than Four's done all year."

"Rylan!" His words make me smile, and he snorts at his own insult.

He finally lets go of me, and I glance around to find the stare of my father. My mother, also here, looking reasonably upset as she stands next to Jason. Karl, yelling at someone on his phone to hurry up with the other trucks, and of course, Four. He looks like he doesn't know what to do, so he crosses his arms over his chest and sighs when my father elbows past him.

"Eva…"

My father says my name, but I stop him. He's probably mad at me. No, furious. No, so livid that he'll deactivate my entire life, making me work for him so he knows I'm safe. He'll probably make it so I can never leave Dauntless again, all because I had hoped Blythe was a better person than I had heard.

"Before you say anything, I just want you all to know…" I pause, and I turn to look back at Adam. He nods encouragingly, a small smile crossing his lips, and that's all I need.

"I won the War Games. Adam willingly handed the flag over to me."


	23. Chapter 23

Thank you SO SO SO much to everyone who texted and messaged me about being sick. I'm FINALLY feeling better but it took the entire two weeks before it went away. I can't remember ever feeling so gross in my life!

Anyways, thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter.

Major thanks to those who took the time to review the last chapter. Hello to those who just started reading after catching up on The Training and The Initiation! To those who asked, I had only planned on five or so more chapters to the story, but we'll see where it ends up.

Happy reading and enjoy your weekend!

* * *

There's a moment of silence, then chaos, as my words sink in.

It's different than what I'm expecting. My father's rage is put on hold as he cracks the barest of pleased smirks, my mother bursts out laughing despite her previous unhappy grimace. Somewhere behind her, Four's gaze grows distant as he remembers his own bitter defeat at the games - not once but twice-and he shuts his eyes. To the side of him, Rylan freezes in place, cocking his head as he waits to hear how I pulled this off.

Even my grandmother looks interested.

After all, in the midst of nearly being murdered and announcing I'd run into Blythe, I hadn't even had the chance to tell Rylan I had the flag.

"You won the War Games?" My father is the only one to speak. He steps forward, his boots thudding over the brand new wooden floors of my grandparent's home, and his shoulders relax a fraction of an inch. "The whole thing?"

"Yeah, I was trying to find Rylan to show him the flag. Actually, I still have it." I smile brightly, even though that last part is a lie. I'd left my jacket and the flag back in the barn, but confessing that important detail would force me to explain why my jacket was off.

"How did you win, Eva?"

My father stares at me curiously, and I can see his mind whirling as he tries to figure out the odds. It wasn't impossible to think I'd have won, but there was a much larger chance the boys would have been stronger or faster. Given the fact that half my team had been made up of initiates who were _not_ the strongest or fastest, my win could seem unlikely or downright suspicious.

Which, if he decides to keep prying, he will realize it is.

Regardless, my plan of not telling him about Blythe works. He seems to forget all about the activity that brought him here as he glances back at Rylan, then me.

"Rylan said it was girls versus boys this time around." He looks proud when I nod, and his grin grows wider. "This is certainly an impressive win. It's unfortunate that what followed was Jeremy. I'd like to hear how you managed to pull it off. That's much better news than what we came here for."

He finishes speaking with a dismissive shrug, playing off the fact that he had looked livid moments ago.

I imagine he had been sitting in his office in Dauntless, approving or declining someone's proposal when the news came he was needed in Amity. I could imagine the weary expression he'd thrown them, and the exact way it would slide into pure, slow horror when they told him what was going on and why he was needed.

I can only further imagine he grabbed my mother, drove here as fast as he could, and arrived in time to discover that not only had I been attacked, it was planned. There was a vial of something meant for me, and someone else lurking in the woods, maybe hoping they'd get a shot at me if the first guy failed, and it was most definitely not just a case of the factionless being bored.

At least my win seemed to soothe some of that.

"Do you really want me to tell you? Or can we just celebrate that I was smarter than the other team?" I ask innocently, and behind me, Adam sighs.

Heavily.

"Because it's a really uninteresting story," I shake my head, and I realize I'm freezing. My jacket was doing me no good in the barn, and once Adam had let go of me, the air had turned cold. "A really…long…uninteresting…story. Just know that I won. That's enough. I get a prize or something, right?"

"I think both Four and I would find it interesting, wouldn't you Four?"

My father stops in front of me, dressed like he's come for battle, but he smiles when Four groans.

"Eric, I don't need to hear how she won. Just…congratulations Eva. Now, let's focus on why we're all here and the fact that we need to get back to Dauntless." Four throws me a very pained expression, kinda like the one at the breakfast he crashed when he learned Adam and I were doing a little more than talking.

But I gratefully accept his words, because I'm not really about to tell any of them what happened or how my win was achieved.

"Adam, we should talk before we head back. I need your version of the events as you saw them." Four keeps talking, and he looks just as unhappy as earlier. "How did you know where Eva was? We only got word that Rylan had let the class loose in the forest, and the attack on Eva was planned."

Before Adam can say anything, the room falls silent as my grandfather shows up. He arrives with a few men from his makeshift army, and they stop in the middle of the living room. He winks at me, then announces that lunch is ready, and he would find it incredibly rude for my class to not show up after all the hard work his faction has put into making lunch.

"Harrison, we really should get them back. Eva and Adam were attacked by a former member of Dauntless. I don't think we should be spending any more time here. Especially when the entire class is still running around." Four tries to be logical, but it goes over as well as one would expect.

My grandpa turns to stare at him, slowly, and he shakes his head.

"Maybe you didn't hear me. We have been working all morning to prepare lunch. If you choose not to join us, and you take the class home, then I will accept that as your formal announcement that we are at war. You, Fourteen, against the Amity faction. Mark my words, number man, that is a war you will lose. They've been looking forward to shooting you since the Leadership Dinner."

He's also met with silence.

"I'm not waging a war, I'm just suggesting the class return to Dauntless. And really? You want to shoot me? No one finds this a little…forward?" Four looks around wildly, waiting for someone to back him up, but no does. My mother and grandmother are quietly talking, my father is still trying to figure out how I won the War Games, and only Rylan is actually listening to Four.

He makes a face, probably at the thought of returning to Dauntless, and shakes his head.

"Calm down, Four. If someone was going to shoot you, they'd have done it earlier. I can round the class up. Eric, you talk with Eva and Adam, get their side of the attack. Four can help me find everyone still outside. Everything will be fine. I think the least we could do is eat Harrison's lunch." Rylan suggests, and he moves hastily. He grabs Four by the arm and pulls him out of the house, only slowing down to yell for my father to save him a seat.

"We'll talk on the walk over." My father looks back at me, and our eyes meet. It's clear he expects me to tell him everything, including the part about Blythe. I'm not afraid to tell him that I saw her, but for the first time in my entire life, I have a feeling he's going to be mad at me.

Really mad.

Winner of the War Games or not.

* * *

I'm right.

"You saw Blythe and you didn't think you should tell me?"

My father stares at me from a few feet away, and my mother walks between us. He's a safe distance from me, which is great considering he looks angrier than I've ever seen him. His jaw is clenched so tightly that it would prove impossible for him to drink any of the things my grandmother had brought him, and he keeps looking down at his phone as though he might smash the thing into pieces.

"_Evangelina Coulter_…"

He says my name warningly, not pleased to have been met with my silence, and I try not to look right at him.

I had thought my announcement of winning the War Games would have distracted him from the anger I knew was coming. Somewhere, in the very far back of my mind, I also knew keeping quiet about Blythe wasn't smart. There was probably a reason why no one spoke about her, and an even bigger reason why I had never met her. The look on her face when she saw me should have told me everything I needed to know. In turn, I should have been smarter, but telling my father this proves to be nearly impossible.

"EVA."

"Eric, knock it off. She almost died. She doesn't need you yelling at her about your mother."

I glance over at my mother, looking equally pissed off. She's not happy at all; she'd shown up my father in a blur of panic, and she'd only smiled when I announced I had won the War Games. Her smile was gone as quickly as it came, and things took a turn for the unpleasant when we left my grandparents. Adam left with my grandpa, but he had smiled at me. It was quick and sympathetic, because my father had zeroed right in on me, and even Adam knew it wasn't going to go over well.

"Yes, Everly, I'm aware she almost died." My father snarls the words at my mother, and she looks over at him in surprise. "In case you've forgotten, I'm the one who told you to come along with me."

I flinch at the sound of my father's voice, because in all of my eighteen years, I'd rarely heard him snap at her. Out of everyone in Dauntless, maybe the whole world, my mother was the only person he truly liked. I'd often heard how much he despised being separated from her, and he almost couldn't exist apart from her.

But now they both look pissed off, and surprisingly, it's at each other.

"You think this is her fault? Because she saw Blythe?" My mother crosses her arms over her chest, and she makes sure my father is looking at her. "I don't even understand how that's connected or why you'd think that. Because this isn't Eva's fault. It's not even Rylan's fault. You said yourself the trackers were faulty, that you had no proof of Jeremy's execution and you assumed Jack had handled it. Eva had nothing to do with any of that. They could have found any of them in the woods. He just lucked out that he found Eva when she was alone."

"I didn't say it was Eva's fault!" My father's eyes widen, and his protest isn't as sharp as his words from before. "Everly, I had Jack's word that Jeremy was taken care of. I took that to mean dead. There's no reason Jeremy should be alive. It's my fault for not following up but things just kept happening. I thought maybe someone else was keeping tabs on him. After you got shot…."

"You got shot?! When?" I turn to face my mother, and I wince when my head throbs. It wasn't even bleeding anymore, but it ached with the thought that not only did I almost die, but that someone wanted me dead. "Mom?"

"Yes, Eva I got shot. Like twenty years ago, in Erudite. I got shot while visiting Cara." My mother answers quickly, and she shakes her head as she dismisses the question any further. "So what do we do now? I keep trying to think of where is safe, and nowhere feels safe. I can't even take her back to Dauntless, because they both know how to get into Dauntless. You can't tell me if Peter is out there, he's going to let Jeremy tell you where he is. He's not stupid."

"Everly…" my father moves closer to my mother, and he stretches his neck to the side. His rage from earlier is replaced with a look of pure disappointment. "I'll fix this. I'll make sure Eva is safe. I'll make sure Jeremy is dead, and I'll make sure Dauntless is secure. They won't get to her, I promise you."

He looks at her pleadingly, and they both seem to forget that minutes ago, he was fuming that I hadn't told him about Blythe.

The connection is still lost on me.

"I will make sure no one hurts either of you."

"I'm not worried about me," my mother answers, and she still sounds angry. "If I see Jeremy, no, actually- _when_ I see Jeremy, I'll shoot him myself. Again. No one tries to kill my daughter and gets away with it. And so help me God, if Peter is the one who was in the tree, then he better pray I don't find him. Because if I do, I will rip him limb by limb for even thinking of going after Eva. Or Adam."

She finishes speaking with a note of finality in her tone, and my father sighs. He reaches for her, taking her hands in his, and he pulls her closer to him.

"Everly…"

She shakes her head, wiggling away from him. She's angrier than I've ever seen her, and she practically stares him down until he raises an eyebrow at her. "Give me your gun. I'll go now. I can find him. I know these woods better than anyone. That asshole won't get far."

"Wait, you're going to go shoot someone? Who's Peter? Who's Jeremy? Why don't I know these people?" I stare at my parents, but they ignore me. "How is any of this connected to Blythe?"

"Oh, so you _did_ see her?" My father finally looks at me, raising his eyebrow in my direction. "Now maybe you can tell me what happened?"

He's not mad anymore. I can tell from the look on his face that he genuinely isn't upset at me, but the situation. I have a feeling it's bigger than I'm thinking it is, and it's unlikely it'll be forgotten by the time lunch is over.

"Eric…" my mother says his name in the same tone as he said mine, and he relents. He holds both his hands up and lags a step behind. "Eva, did you really see her? Because…if you did…maybe that's why Jeremy showed up."

Great.

I was right.

In a way, this was my fault.

"Okay, so yes…I did see her. I saw her in Erudite. I went with Adam to this coffee shop and…I guess she was there. They said the name Coulter for one of the drinks and I thought it was mine, but it was hers. But she didn't tell me who she was. She didn't even say like, _hey we're related_. She just asked me what my name was, and then left to go find that guy."

"What guy?" My father asks, and my mother gives up being mad at him. Their fight seems to have lasted a whole ten seconds, because she reaches for his hands, and her expression has turned miserable. "Jeremy? Or Peter?"

"I don't know who Peter is, but Jeremy was there. He looked different in Erudite." I think back to him, smiling at me like he knew me, and the way his stare had lingered on me. "They talked to Adam for a minute. She asked if Adam and I were there together and they left right after. Adam said they didn't ask anything more than what my name was."

I look up at my dad, hoping this information will be enough to calm him down, but it's not. He's back to chewing on his cheek and looking at the sky.

"Dad?"

"It was Blythe. Part of her job requires, or at least used to require, that she works with those convicted by Jack in hopes of rehabilitating them if they'd been prosecuted for a minor offense. She was either assigned Jeremy for some idiotic reasoning by Jack or she happened to find him and things progressed from there. I have no doubt you ran into her, and no doubt she knew who you were."

"Why did no one ever tell me about her?" I ask carefully. "I mean, you don't call Camille Mom so…"

"He doesn't call Daniel Dad, either." My mother points out, and she frowns. "We don't talk about her because she and your father agreed to part ways years ago. I don't think anyone's seen her in years, and for good reason. Blythe is the worst person I think I've ever met. For someone to hold onto something for almost nineteen years is…there's something wrong with her."

"You really think she wants to hurt me?"

My stomach tightens when I ask this, because I'd naively thought she was fine. A little too uptight and standoffish considering we were related, but absolutely harmless. She looked too sophisticated to try and hurt someone, especially her own grandchild, and she looked more annoyed by my existence than anything. Not at all the violent psycho they were making her out to be.

"Don't let her fool you. She knows who you are." My father speaks angrily, and my mother looks up at him with a funny stare. "Everly? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?! Of course, Blythe wants to hurt her! That's not a surprise. It's not even a surprise that she tried. I really think she could easily get to Eva if she wanted to. You and I both know this isn't over just because we got Jeremy."

My mother's tone is one I haven't heard before. It's stressed, almost like she's trying to keep her voice steady, and I notice my father slows down. He grasps her closer to him, until he can get both arms around her, and he bends his head down to rest on hers.

"Everly, so help me God, if she harms one hair on Eva's head, I'll kill her myself. I promise you."

My mother nods, but it's as convincing as Kat's apology from earlier. He mumbles something else to my mother, something I can't hear, and she keeps her head against him. Her eyes shut tightly, and I have the feeling this isn't going to go away as easily as I had thought.

"I'll meet you both at the Dome." I call out, and neither answer me. I keep walking when they don't move, and I decide I'll try to figure out a way to fix this. I figure I can ask Rylan to help me, or maybe Jason, and I'll fix my mistake.

Maybe I can find out what Blythe wants and stop all of it before it goes any further, and maybe, things will go back to normal and everyone will forget about this.

* * *

"Do you want some yams? You should have some. I heard they're good for you."

Rylan shoves himself into the tiny space between Pink and I, then he pushes her so she slides down the bench. She yelps as she nearly falls off, and she ignores the charming grin he throws her as an apology.

"No, I'm good, thanks." I take the bowl from Rylan and place it on the table, and I glance around the Dome as Rylan bends down to ask me what's safe to eat.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I answer quickly, but I'd been distracted since I walked in. I wasn't really hungry, and so far, I'd spent all of my time trying to figure out how long we'd be here.

I'd walked to the Dome alone, in total silence. I mulled over how I could get ahold of Blythe and if it would be worth it. From what my father said, she must have an office in Erudite, and if she had an office, then she had to have a phone. I could always call and try to talk with her, or maybe I could convince Rylan to go with me. Maybe if the two of us showed up she'd be forced to talk to us, and if she knew we were onto her, she'd agree to leave me alone.

"Rylan, I need your help."

I scoot closer to him, ignoring Adam's stare from a few tables away, and the flash of guilt that I should go sit by him or tell him to come over here. He's sitting with his father, and both share the same unhappy expression. Every so often, Four looks at him, and says something only Adam can hear. He shrugs him off, but eventually he answers, and his expression is annoyed. It only lessons when Jason sits down with them, and he hands them a plate of sandwiches made somewhere other than the kitchens.

"Anything. What's up?" Rylan turns to me, elbowing Pink as she tries to reclaim her seat. "You want a donut? I'll go get you one."

"No, I don't want a donut." I nudge him so he looks at me, and when he does, I wait until I can hold his stare. His eyes are wide with anticipation, and he doesn't blink. "I want you to take me to Erudite. I want to find Blythe. I'm going to tell her to knock all this off. That…I don't know why she'd want to kill me, but she can't, and everyone knows she sent Jeremy. We already have Jeremy and I think she should know he'll rat her out and it's better for everyone if she just stops."

Rylan stares, still unblinking.

"I would ask my dad, but he's really mad and he and my mom kept arguing on the walk over and…"

"Let me get this straight. You want…you want _me_, to take _you_, Eric's only daughter and my only and most precious goddaughter, to meet your father's estranged mother, so you can tell her to stop trying to kill you? And you think if we just show up and head into her office, that she'll agree? Did I get that right?" He stares, and while his words sound serious, they are heavy with something.

Mockery.

I scowl at him. "Rylan, I'm not joking. I saw her in Erudite, and now all of a sudden, this guy shows up and…"

"Eva Coulter, you are a very smart girl, but right now, you're pulling an Everly. I'm not taking you to get yourself killed. That is Karl's area, but he won't do it either, so don't even ask." Rylan shakes his head, and he pushes Pink back away from him. "Pink, there are plenty of seats over by Four. He looks like he could use a friend right now."

"I don't want to sit by Four! I want to sit by Eva! I haven't even had the chance to talk to her!" She answers him hotly, and she moves over to the other side of the bench. Pink sits down huffily, and she sighs in extreme exaggeration. "Rylan, is the game over? Everyone is saying Eva won."

"She did win! I haven't seen the flag yet myself, but Adam admitted she got it from him, and the game is officially over." He sounds proud, and he reaches for the bowl of salad. "We're returning to Dauntless after lunch. They're about to call an emergency security alert, so class will be put on hold for a few days. Or they'll just call it. You guys are almost done anyway."

"What do I get for winning?" I ask, picking at the plate that someone had set down before me. It's filled with all kinds of things, salad, pasta, fruit, a turkey sandwich, and what appears to be a muffin, but none of it looks appealing. "Can't you take me to Erudite as my prize?"

"No, and don't even think of going. If you think your father was annoying before, oh boy. Just wait till he finds out you want to go see Blythe in person. He'll probably have you move back home."

"I don't want to move back home," I glare at him, but none of this is surprising. "No one will tell me how this relates to Blythe. I thought she just seemed irritated to see me. Not like, _let me kill you because you_ _exist_ irritated."

"Nah, she'd kill you. She hates Everly with an unparalleled rage. Ever since she met her, she thinks Everly stole her precious son away from her. She can't figure out why Eric loves your mom so much, and she's let him know. Several times. You're just the unfortunate victim of her current rage."

"So she won't talk to me?" I stare at Rylan and he stares back at me. I remember the first time Rylan ever got in trouble for letting me do something, and how he'd grinned that it was worth it because we'd had fun.

I half hoped he'd throw me that same grin, and wink and we'd head to Erudite as soon as lunch was over, but he shakes his head, and flips Pink off without looking.

"Pink, go sit by Adam. He looks like he hates his life. Eva, no. She won't talk to you. What she will do, once she realizes she has you in Erudite, is either kill you there, or fuck with you until she can get the chance to kill you. If you knew the stuff she tried to pull with your mom, you'd be running far away from Blythe the second you laid eyes on her."

I keep waiting for him to crack a grin, but he's dead serious.

He doesn't smile and his shoulders rise up.

"And hey, listen. I promised your dad I'd watch out for you with my life. I'm partially at fault for taking you to Amity, so I will make that up to both you and him. Which most definitely does not mean taking you to Erudite to see Blythe. It means keeping you where you'll have twenty-four-hour surveillance, and a team watching you."

"Rylan, no…it's not your fault! It's…it's…I guess it's Blythe's."

My protest falls on deaf ears.

He shakes his head and his gaze flicks up to my grandfather, coming to a stop by our table. He smiles at me, and I realize he's surrounded by a dozen men. Some from Amity, some from Dauntless, all with serious looks on their faces.

"Rylan, we need you to come with us. Jeremy wants to talk to you."

"Cool. I love listening to people whine about their personal problems and how they've driven them to commit heinous acts of violence against everyone in the Dauntless faction. Let's hope he's more entertaining than Four's mom was."

Rylan stands up quickly, shoving his plate away from him and turns to me.

"You stay here. Do not, and I repeat, _do not_ try to convince anyone to take you to Erudite. I know you're related to Everly and trust me when I tell you that I understand the idea sounds good. It probably feels good. Productive. Smart. Totally foolproof. Just do me a favor and ask your mother how well these plans turn out."

He leaves without giving me a chance to respond, but I don't have anything brilliant to say back. The more we talked about it, the clearer it became that Blythe wasn't the person I was thinking she was. She was sounding dangerous, sort of crazy even. It made it all the more terrifying to know that she was living and working in Erudite under the guise of being a functioning member of the faction, when really she was biding her time until she could get her revenge.

"What the fuck Eva! What's going on? What is he talking about? Why do you want to go to Erudite?" Pink takes her seat back, sliding close to me, and her eyes are wide. "Eva…you're bleeding! What happened? Are you okay?"

I don't know how to answer her.

She keeps asking questions, but my focus is elsewhere. Across the tables, Adam and I lock eyes, and I wait for him to smile. To silently reassure me all of this will be fine. In the morning, my dad will announce he's taken care of the threats, Blythe will either change her stance on hating the Coulter family or have vanished into thin air, and Adam and I will finally be left alone by every single person in the faction. I wait for the familiar grin, sort of smirky and all knowing, and usually only thrown in my direction.

Instead, he frowns.

My stomach tightens when he turns away from me, moving to thank the girl from Amity bringing him a drink, and he doesn't look back at me. He spends the rest of his lunch with his stare on his plate, and he eats without speaking to anyone. He doesn't look over at me at all, not even when Four finally leaves him alone, or Jason leans over to tell him something.

Not even when my parents finally show up to announce we're returning to Dauntless in the next half hour.

* * *

"Not you."

I glance up at my grandfather, his hair a mess but his expression fairly pleased, and he reaches for me. His hand finds my arm, and he pulls me back toward him and my grandmother, effectively preventing me from rejoining my class.

"What? What do you mean not me?" I stare in confusion, trying to wiggle away as Pink calls my name. Rachel is standing next to her, and she patiently waits for me to join them.

And I want to.

Despite my being attacked and the games ending in the worst way possible, it was announced we had won. Rylan had cheerfully gotten everyone's attention during lunch, declared my team the winners, and told everyone we'd be scored in the next few days. The win was what everyone on my team needed; they all looked proud and far more confident than they had on the train, especially those who weren't holding the highest ranks. Their smiles were wide and happy, having done their part to win and having it pay off.

Adam's team looked pretty miserable.

They avoided looking at me, and there were a few grumbles that the game was rigged.

He didn't look at me either.

"It's been decided you're staying here with me. I don't trust anyone in Dauntless to keep you safe." My grandfather answers loudly, and a few steps away, my father glares at him. "I've decided that until I have Peter, it's not safe for you to be on your own. Since Dauntless screwed up the hunt for him, you're safer here. Amity is my jurisdiction, and I will hold you as a witness to what happened until I feel it's secure enough for you to return."

"You're serious?" I push my hair out of my eyes, ignoring the dried blood and the sticky feeling it's left. "I'm not going back?"

"Harrison and I both agree this was handled poorly. However, I think you belong in Dauntless. You'd be safe there. Ultimately, Everly wants you to stay in Amity," my father snaps, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "I understand everyone's concerns, so I'll give you this. Harrison, you can ask her about Jeremy then bring her to Dauntless. She's not part of your investigation."

"Bullshit. She was attacked in the woods. That's my territory. So she'll stay with me until I've learned everything I need to know. It could take days, maybe weeks. Maybe a month." My grandpa answers him just as snappily, and he stares at my father. "You and I both know your men let Peter get away. I could have found him with my eyes shut until your rag tag team of soldiers showed up."

"Are you serious?" My father's expression darkens, and he steps closer, placing me in between him and my grandpa. "We aren't even sure it's Peter. It could be—"

"Oh cut the crap. We all know it's Peter helping him. You went on a spree of making anyone who crossed you factionless, including him. Those two idiots found each other, and they've set their sights on Eva. Adam is next, but Four refuses to let him stay here because he thinks he knows better than anyone."

"Wait, I'm the only one staying?" I interrupt their glare fest to panic at the thought of being left behind. It was bad enough that my whole class was leaving, but it was starting to sound like this was some sort of punishment. "I'm staying in Amity while my class returns? That's not fair! I'll fail! I'll…."

"You won't fail," my father declares, and he looks oddly resigned to Harrison's demands. "We're returning to Dauntless and they'll perform one more training exercise for the afternoon. After that, we're suspending initiation for a few days. Rylan will score the war games, and it'll resume when Zander is feeling better. He's still getting over his cold."

"He really has a cold?" I cross my arms over my chest, and in the distance, Pink waves at me to come join the group. Behind her stands Kat, looking forlorn, and next to her, Brexley, whispering something to Rachel. "Seriously? Dad, you can't leave me here!"

"Very serious," my dad answers dryly. "We may end up calling initiation anyway. All that's left is the final fear landscape and a few more training activities. You won't miss much and your mother is insisting upon this. You can always make it up if you absolutely need to or Zander thinks it'll cause a discrepancy in the rankings."

"You're really having me stay here?" I sound skeptical, and I am. My father was nothing if not vigilant about keeping me alive, and I found it odd that he'd insist I stay in the most peaceful faction of all. Leaving me in Amity, where most, if not all, the men and women were unarmed, felt like a trick. "You don't think I'd be safer back in Dauntless? With…everyone who has a gun?"

My father holds my stare, and in that moment, I know he agrees with me.

"Do I think Dauntless is safer? Yes. But Harrison has some questions for you. His men want to go back and canvas the area and your mother thinks it would be helpful to have you here."

"You're missing the main point." Harrison interrupts him, and he smiles at me. "We have to think logically here. Those dumbfucks in the woods will assume you're taking Eva back to Dauntless. Never in a million years would they think Eric would leave his daughter behind. If they're going to look for Eva, and they are, they'll look in Dauntless. Not Amity."

Well shoot.

He has a point there.

I still don't feel great about being forced to stay here while my friends go back to Dauntless.

"You really think they'll come looking for me?" I find myself stepping closer to my grandpa and trying to ignore the heavy stare of my father. "Peter?"

"Yes," he answers firmly. "He knows we have Jeremy, and therefore his time is limited. He also knows it's unlikely I'd leave you in a faction that doesn't believe in locking their doors. Which makes hiding you in plain sight a much better plan than taking you back to Dauntless. Harrison has given his word you'll be safe, and worst-case scenario, Eden throws her tea in his face. It'll probably melt off immediately."

"What about Adam?" I feel a rush of horror at being left here alone, even though I'd be with my grandparents. "Shouldn't he stay too? Won't Peter come after him?"

My father's expression turns weary.

"Four is insistent he return to Dauntless. Against everyone's recommendation." My father's words sound very final, and very unimpressed. He pulls out his phone, glaring as he reads something. "You'll be fine. Jason has offered to bring you your phone tomorrow, and it'll be a nice break from training. Eden is very happy to have you staying with her."

"Of course we're happy to have Eva. I'll keep her safe, Eric. I promise." I feel my grandmother take my hand in hers, and she's right by my side. "It'll be a nice, quiet few days. It's been a while since Eva got to stay for longer than a day."

I throw her a very appreciative glance, because her words are so honest and kind and I know she means them. I loved spending time with her, and I loved being in Amity with them both, I just wasn't expecting it to happen this way.

It also feels like I'm being singled out for being attacked, even though that was proving to be my own fault.

"I'd like to take her inside for a bit. She can talk to those waiting to hear what happened, and then I'll get her cleaned up. I think her head is still bleeding," Eden speaks softly, and her fingers tighten on my wrist. "You and Everly can say goodbye at my house."

"Will do," my father answers without looking up from his phone, and he glares as he taps at the screen. "Harrison, can we talk for a second?"

"No," my grandpa retorts, but he grudgingly steps closer to my father. "Fine. One minute. I have a lot to do."

My grandpa misses my father's indignant sneer, and I know he's beginning to stress out. His shoulders have tensed up, his eyes have narrowed, and his annoyance is severe enough that I can feel it radiating from him. Leaving me here isn't his plan, and he doesn't fully believe it's a good one. I would bet my mother insisted that Amity was safer than Dauntless, and the only reason I'm staying is because she wants me to.

It also feels strange to watch my friends be led away toward the trains while I stand here.

"Eva! I'll…I'll…call you!" Pink yells, waving her hands to get my attention. She's promptly shut up by Rylan, and he guides her forward, away from me, hissing at her to be quiet. "Okay, I mean, meet me on the train!"

My heart sinks.

It falls into my stomach, and I force myself not to wince when a few turn back to look at me, and their stares are heavy with confusion.

"Come on, Eva. Let's get you home so I can look at your head."

I force myself to smile up at my grandma, but I turn back to watch the class slowly start to follow Rylan. He talks loudly, waving his arms around and congratulating the girls on winning, carefully giving off the impression that everything is just fine. If someone were watching, they probably wouldn't notice that I'm not going along with them. I'm too far off to the side with my grandma, and there's a careful line of separation as the men from Amity line up to make sure everyone from Dauntless is leaving. The organized chaos is enough to cause a distraction, and I would bet they planned this.

"Eva…" My grandmother says my name again, and I take a step toward her.

"I'm coming."

I scan the class frantically, trying to find Adam in the sea of black. I see his friends, Gunner and Aja loudly demanding a redo of the War Games, and I even see Kenny, cracking a smile as he points to the woods. Nikolai walks along with Kat, boredly listening to her talk and frantically texting on his phone, and a few feet ahead, Rachel is furiously talking with Pink. They glance back at me once, their faces wracked with sympathy and concern, but ultimately, they keep walking.

"I'm just… I was looking for…"

The words die in my throat when I do see Adam, walking along with Jason. They part ways right as the path splits, and he watches Jason walk in the opposite direction.

It's then and only then that Adam looks right at me. His eyes find mine, and for the first time in ages, his expression is unreadable.

My stomach turns over at the look on his face, because I have a feeling he's finally listened to whatever his father said to him.

* * *

"Careful. There's a small cut near her temple. Make sure you don't hit it."

My aunt's voice is soothing. It's almost as soothing as the feeling of Paisley brushing out my damp hair while Holly neatly applies something to the side of my head.

"Eva, you have really pretty eyelashes. They're so long."

Holly comments while she works, carefully dipping her fingers into the tiny jar of something that smells like herbs and mint. Her nails are polished with a pretty gold color, and her long hair reaches her waist. She doesn't entirely remind me of my mother, but maybe she would if my mother had chosen to stay in Amity.

"Have you ever cut your hair? How tall are you?"

Her questions come one after the other, full of honest curiosity.

My aunts had shown up the minute I said goodbye to my parents. My mother had hugged me tightly, but she was distracted. My father was yelling at someone on the phone, and he only stopped yelling to promise me I'd be safe here. He didn't look like he believed the words he was speaking, but we both knew my grandpa had made a very good point. No one would ever believe my father wasn't taking me back to Dauntless, and therefore, it was pretty foolproof that I'd be fine here. The odds of someone looking for me were slim to none, and it was unlikely this Peter would come knocking on my grandpa's door.

My father must have known this. He'd hugged me once my mother let go, then took her by the hand, and resumed yelling at some poor fool for messing up his work schedule.

I waited for a sense of relief that they were leaving, because I had to admit the high of winning the War Games was slowly wearing off, and it left me feeling freaked out. I hadn't expected running into Blythe to start such a chain of events, and I hated that she'd inserted herself into my life this way. Rather than inviting me to sit down and talk over coffee, she'd chosen to have me hunted down and drugged for her own benefit. I suppose I should be grateful I hadn't been injected with anything, because I could be waking up not knowing my own name.

So as I watched my parents leave, my mother's hand tightly in my father's, I kept waiting to feel a little more optimistic. A little less panicked, or maybe even a little enthused to have a few days off.

Instead, I was agonizing if Four had finally told Adam what he needed to hear to decide that I wasn't worth any of this.

I couldn't blame him, though.

Not only had I gotten the flag from him, I'd announced it in front of everyone, and nearly gotten the both of us killed. I probably wasn't looking like the best prospect for anything right now: girlfriend, friend, or even acquaintance. I had the sinking feeling we'd talk when I returned to Dauntless and that would be where we parted ways.

This meant I was doomed to either be alone for the rest of my life or agree to marry TJ once we both turned thirty and remained unmarried.

"Um, I've had it trimmed a few times, but that's it. And I'm not sure how tall I am. How tall are you?"

I stare up at my aunt, her face scrunched up in concern as she works her fingers around my face to find any other cuts that needed to be treated.

"Taller than your mother," Holly grins, and she leans away from me. "She was always the shortest one out of all of us. She thought she was so cool because she was older, but she could barely reach the cabinets in the kitchen."

I smile back at her, because things hadn't changed. My father loved to remind my mother she couldn't reach the dinner plates without his help, and she loved to let him get them for her as though it were the most romantic gesture imaginable.

"Do you miss her? Is it weird that she doesn't live in Amity?" I stare at the comforter beneath me, and I try to hold still as Paisley works through another section. I certainly didn't brush my hair this well, but she was determined to make sure there wasn't a single tangle left.

"Oh I miss her all the time. We all knew she wanted to leave Amity, so we weren't surprised. I was a little taken back the first time I saw your dad. We all thought Karl was much more handsome than him." Holly laughs, and Paisley laughs along with her. "He used to come to dinner with Eric, and he always ate everything. He didn't even care that he wound up passing out on the couch while everyone had dessert. I thought he was so funny and brave. We were devastated when we found out he was married."

"My soul was crushed," Paisley agrees, and she stops brushing my hair. "I thought he was so dreamy and it only got worse when Everly told us he was just the nicest guy. She said he was the only one who didn't hate her in their class. She still keeps us updated on him, and I have to say, he seems very happy with his wife. I heard he has like, four kids now."

"He has twins," I smile, thinking about Evan and Ethan and how they caused a daily wake of destruction. "His wife is pregnant again. I think she's having a girl."

"I bet she'll be adorable. I didn't see them, but Everly said the boys are just the cutest. Karl always seemed so much more approachable than Eric. Eric used to show up looking so annoyed at life. He'd sit at the table looking like a giant, and of course, Zander was all over him, trying to get his attention. It worked, though. He liked Zander and it seemed to be the only reason he came to Amity. Mom even made Zander a tiny uniform to match Eric's."

"I'm pretty sure his hero worship hasn't worn off," I inform them, and I feel marginally better. "Um, do you guys have a shirt or something I can wear? Grandma gave me this but it's not…uh, it's a little…"

"She dressed you like Everly," Holly snickers, and she reaches out to touch the silky fabric of the nightgown my grandmother had given me. "If it makes you feel better, she probably made it. It's very pretty."

"It feels too fancy to sleep in," I insist, and I wrinkle my nose when I catch sight of myself in the mirror across from us.

This room didn't belong to anyone. My grandmother said it was a guest room, and she promised me it wasn't my mother's or anyone else's. It was furthest in the back of the house, in a corner that felt very out of the way. It had its own entrance, though it was tightly closed up and locked, and large panes of glass on either side of the doors. There was a fireplace, fully stocked and ready to be lit, and my grandpa had told me to yell if I needed more firewood. The bed was right in the middle of the room, and the heavy gold mirror sat on the wall that lead to the bathroom.

My reflection caught me off guard, because it didn't look like me.

The nightgown was too much: too fancy, too big, and too slinky to be considered actual pajamas. It reminded me of something in the back of Christian's luxury store, in a section I couldn't afford and that felt way too adult for me to even be looking at.

My hair didn't help, either.

It was completely detangled, neatly brushed out, and parted further to the side than I normally parted it.

"It's beautiful, Eva. But I'll go see if I can find you a t-shirt. Do you want anything else? Some toast and tea? Mom said she was making some for…Harrison before they leave." Holly pauses to look at Paisley, and Paisley shakes her head.

"I'm fine. I should head home soon. My kids will be up early," Paisley sounds cheerful at the thought, and she glances down at me once she's stood up. "Do you want me to bring them over in the morning? They'll want to see you."

"If you want. I was just going to sleep in and…maybe help Grandma make lunch?" I trail off, having zero plans of actually doing anything. I was still in shock that my parents had left me here, I was reeling from Adam not even smiling goodbye or trying to stay here, and I was struggling with the sinking feeling Blythe was about to cause some major drama that I didn't have time for. "Or maybe just come for lunch?"

"That sounds fine with me," Paisley stares, and I know she wants to ask me something. "Are you sure you're alright back here? This part of the house always scared me. Harrison added it on, but it seems like you're so far away."

"I'll be fine," I promise. "The quiet will be nice and I don't want to feel like I'm interrupting anyone by being here."

I hope they both believe me, because I'm telling the truth.

After today, some quiet would be nice.

I'd eaten dinner with my grandma and grandpa, along with a few of their friends. I'd answered every question my grandpa asked, and I'd patiently told them what I could. I didn't think any of it was helpful, and it left me feeling pretty worn out. After dinner I helped wash the dishes, took a shower, and threw on the clothes my grandma had set out for me. My aunts stayed to talk with my grandpa, and they'd stayed once they realized I truly wasn't leaving. Holly had offered to look at my head, still throbbing but no longer bleeding, and Paisley offered to comb out my hair.

I didn't see them as much as I saw Rylan and Jason, so it was nice to catch up.

"Okay, well sweet dreams. If you need anything, we're both a few houses down. Or just yell for Harrison. He never sleeps," Holly stands up reluctantly, and she smooths out the dress she has on. "Promise me you'll only go outside if it's to come see one of us? Mom said there's something going on."

"I promise," I agree, not entirely meaning it. "I mean, I think it'll be fine, and grandpa swore it's nothing to worry about. He said I could go out back if I wanted."

Holly and Paisley look at each other, silently debating something. It lasts a minute, then Holly sighs the same way Jason did when Rylan suggested something ridiculous.

"Okay, well promise me you won't go far. If you do need to get out, the Mason's live one house over. They're always up late, too. The Salvatore's live three houses down and have chickens behind the house. They're very nice and won't ask any questions. Otherwise, stick to here. There's a treehouse in the back if you get really bored."

"Thank you both," I stand to hug them, and the crappy feeling from earlier slowly eases up even further. "I appreciate you checking in on me."

"You're so polite. Are you sure you're Everly's daughter? She would have pushed us out of here and told us to go away and not come back," Paisley laughs, setting the brush down on the nightstand. "Be good, Eva. We'll see you in the morning. And I second staying inside. Dad said it's supposed to snow again."

She says the word dad slowly, like it's odd in her mouth, but I understand.

Sometimes they referred to my grandpa as their dad, and sometimes they called him by his name. Their level of affection never varied with either title, and he never seemed to mind either one.

"Great. Just what I was hoping for. Well, I'm going to go to bed. Thanks again. I'll see you tomorrow," I shoo them out, grateful as they slip out the door and down the hallway. Holly calls out that she'll be back if she finds a shirt, and I tell her not to worry.

My only plans were to collapse into bed and close my eyes and pretend this day had turned out in an entirely different manner.

* * *

I make it an entire hour before I almost die of boredom.

My wonder of what it would be like to live in Amity comes to a screeching halt as the faction winds down. The clock on the nightstand points out it's not even that late. It's barely nine thirty, but it feels like it's two in the morning. I'd spent a half hour trying to figure out if the TV screen in this room worked, then another twenty minutes trying to light the fireplace. It finally roared to life, warming up the room quickly, and I was hoping the crackling would lull me to sleep.

I brushed my teeth, admired my shiny and mostly dry hair, and resigned myself to going to sleep looking like I was about to be sacrificed by a cult.

"Great. I finally get some peace and quiet, and I wind up bored out of my skull."

I announce this to no one, not wanting to admit I missed the noise of Dauntless. It was unnaturally silent here, even with people in the house. The only noise was from earlier, both of my grandparents calling out goodnight, and both reminding me to stay inside or come get them if I wanted to go for a walk. They told me they wouldn't be gone long, and it was best if I didn't go anywhere. I agreed halfheartedly. I didn't want to admit that my mother was right, that no one would ever find me in Amity, because I was now a prisoner in the happiest place on Earth.

And most boring.

"How on Earth did I wind up here?"

I mumble this as I toy with the lock on the doors, and I realize I've walked over to them without even thinking. They are large, neatly made with a few sets of locks, but not totally impossible to open. I slide the deadbolt open, turn the lock on the second one, and to my surprise, the door opens easily with a single push.

It weighs a ton, and I'm sure if you were trying to get in it was secure, but I feel a sense of relief knowing I can open it.

I also feel a rush of icy air smashing right into my bare skin as the wind picks up. Paisley hadn't been lying when she said it might snow. The chill from earlier still lingers, only it's intensified about four hundred times. It feels sharply cold as I step outside, and the nightgown does little to ward off the chill.

I ignore it.

In a weird way, it feels good. It reminds me that I'm alive. That I had survived being attacked, that I had fought off Jeremy to the best of my abilities, and that grown men had sat and listened while I explained what happened. I think of this as I walk out a little further, my feet stepping over cold grass, and even that feels good.

"Five minutes. Just…give me five minutes and I'll go back inside." I bargain with the night sky, staring up at it as I head down the stone path. It's a little warmer this way, like the cold has parted open for me to walk through, and I take a second to appreciate the view.

For what it was worth, being stuck here until I was no longer deemed a security risk, Amity was beautiful. The sky was light enough that I could see the stars hidden beneath a layer of clouds, and dark enough that it felt like I was on another planet. I admire the twinkling starlight as I walk further down the path, and I realize I've walked right into the garden my grandpa had created.

He'd been working on it for years.

They were both tremendously proud of their creation. In the summer months, Eden's garden boasted all kinds of pretty flowers, but now, most were hibernating in an attempt to ward off the cold. There were still a few brave souls that could survive the harsh weather, though these certainly weren't as pretty. My father often rolled his eyes and snickered that Eden fancied herself straight out of the wizard books, and warned me not to touch any of the plants. They'd kill me, he insisted, his eyes narrowing and his face lighting up, and I rolled my eyes back at him.

Leave it to my father to try and find danger amongst my grandmother's flower garden.

I knew they were harmless. There were plenty of herbs and vegetables, some lavender and rosemary, and even a twisting vine of tomatoes that had given up, but nothing deadly.

I pause when I find a few lonely blossoms left over on a large plant, seemingly struggling to prove they could make it. It was likely the incoming storm would knock them out, but it looks like my grandma was expecting this. Almost everything in here that might live was covered up, and the only things uncovered were a few hearty plants and ancient, twisting trees.

"Well, I guess that's it. Time to head back inside, unless I want to find some chickens," I less than cheerfully inform the plant to the left of me, and it's purple flowers have wilted to the color of a bruise. "Who would have thought this was how today would end?"

I stand there for a moment longer, enjoying the cold stone path under my feet, and my fingers touching the petals. They are thin and fragile, but they've given it their all to stay alive. I let go once my fingers start to feel numb, and I step back, freezing in place when I hear footsteps.

"Shit!"

I hiss the word quietly, and it feels wrong to swear in such a soothing place. I try to squint into the darkness to see what made the noise, and I pray it was nothing more than a free-spirited chicken on a path to self-enlightenment in the garden of Eden.

It's not.

The footsteps grow heavier, thudding over the pathway and crushing over whatever was in their way. I feel like my whole life flashes before my eyes as the shadow slowly takes shape, and my insides burn when I see the jacket. The dark structured fabric is familiar, and unfortunately so.

It seems my five minutes of being outside will be my unfortunate downfall.

"Peter?"

I call out the name tentatively, wishing it sounded stronger, and also wishing I wasn't about to die dressed like this. If I was going to be murdered, at the very least I would have preferred to have actual clothes on, and not be barefoot, gazing at dead flowers when I was warned to stay inside.

The door to the room seems miles away, and my head grows dizzy as the person comes closer.

"Hi Eva."

The voice makes my eyes widen, and under the low light of the moon, I realize that while I still might die, at least it'll be in a garden in Amity, and not in front of my class or my parents.

Lit up by the waning moonlight and the stars slowly fading way, is the face of the last person I ever expected to see in Amity.


	24. Chapter 24

Thanks SO much to** Bamberlee** for editing!

For those who asked: the story is updated every Friday, at some point. I try to get it up as soon as I can, but I'm not always able to get to it first thing.

Thanks for reviewing and all the guesses as to who Eva saw. Some of you were right lol. Have a great weekend everyone!

* * *

My chest tightens.

I'm frozen in place as something chirps in the woods, and there's a low, lazy howl in response. I try not to blink, because if I do, I'm pretty sure everything will vanish when I open my eyes.

"Eva, are you okay? What are you wearing?"

Adam stands before me with his eyes narrowed in confusion at the nightgown. I've spent weeks sleeping against him in his own shirts, so this sight has to be odd. His eyes flick upward to my hair, then back down to where Paisley had fixed the straps on the nightgown but not tight enough.

It _is _odd.

It feels like forever ago that I watched him leave for Dauntless. It only took a few hours before my Amity transformation was complete, and I wasn't expecting him to show up. I had some inkling that the nightgown and thrusting my aunts on me had been my grandma's way of helping. I bet she thought if she dressed me like I belonged here, no one would think otherwise.

Not even Adam.

"Um, it's…my grandma gave it to me." My voice betrays the braveness that was there a few seconds ago. It sounds croaky, and it's because he's walking toward me slowly, like he thinks I'll bolt if he moves too fast. I might. This whole day had been weird, the night had been even weirder, and seeing him back here feels like a dream.

Maybe I _am_ dreaming.

Maybe I did fall asleep on the bed, and when I wake up, I'll be alone, still trapped in Amity until Peter is found, still wearing this nightgown.

"Oh, it's…nice."

"What are you doing here? I thought for sure you were Peter."

I say all this uncertainly, fully aware it sounds dumb, because of course it's Adam. He's standing before me in the official uniform we'd been given. His hair had been combed at some point, but it's messed up now. I take in the dark jacket, the dark pants, his stare glued to my bare shoulders, and I suddenly wish Holly had brought me a t-shirt or something that resembled actual clothing.

It's not that I don't want him looking at me, it's just that his stare is something else altogether.

"Are you okay?" I summon up the courage to look right at him, not sure why I'm suddenly nervous to see him standing in the garden. For a single moment, I had thought he was Peter. My stomach had hurt badly enough that I could have thrown up, and my heart felt like someone was squeezing it so it would stop beating.

It wasn't farfetched that he could have been Peter. With my luck, he would have found me here. Wandering around Eden's garden in the dark, talking to plants that couldn't talk back, and probably catching a cold since I hadn't bothered to hunt for a jacket.

The irony that I could have died, again, in Amity isn't lost on me.

"You really thought I was Peter?" Adam looks insulted, and he tilts his head at me. "Really? Isn't the guy kinda old?"

"Yeah, actually I think he is. But I wasn't expecting you. I thought you went back with your dad." I keep talking, hoping he'll say something else, but he's just staring at me. He looks a little tired; his eyes hold a faint weariness that wasn't there earlier and in his hands is a piece of paper. "Oh no. Are you here to read me a poem?"

His face tightens.

There's an unfairness to how different he looks, especially now. The uniform isn't the only difference though. He seems taller, more experienced at life even though we've been in the same initiation, and more like someone who knew what they were doing.

Which hopefully is not reading some lovesick poetry while I slowly succumb to hypothermia.

"Am I… supposed to read you a poem?" He sounds hesitant, looking at me in total confusion while I stare back horrified. He didn't seem like the type to show up and read me Romeo and Juliet, but I was finding out my life was just one surprise after the other these days. "I just… I came to see you. Should I leave? I could go back if you're busy…" He stops, and he sounds utterly defeated as he shoves the note in his pocket and glances to the side of me.

"No!"

"If you want me to leave, I will. It's not a poem. It's just a note from your mom." He finally looks back to me, and his eyes search mine for something. His lips turn up slowly, and it hits me. Somewhere, in the very furthest corner of my mind, it occurs to me that I am ruining this moment.

I, Eva Coulter, have inherited my father's inability to recognize romance, and the sheer fact that Adam has returned to Amity to come find me.

My chest tightens again, for an entirely different reason.

"You really came here to see me? I thought your dad told you to stay away! He looked so angry at lunch." I come to a stop right in front of him, and I don't remember him being this tall. Or this handsome. It's probably the jacket, or his jawline, or the fact that his skin looks like it would be soft to touch and I know what he looks like with his shirt off.

Or it's because he came back for me after being taken back to Dauntless and instructed to stay there.

I feel a little dizzy at the thought, considering his father had been pretty determined to keep us apart.

"He's always pissed off over something," Adam frowns, but he steps closer, closing the invisible millimeters between us. "We talked for a while. Well, _he_ talked. I just sat there while he ranted about what a mess this is. He's worried that you'll be killed because of me. He's worried you'll be killed because of Eric. He doesn't want that guilt on either of us so he suggested I stay away from you. He said…you'll be in Amity and your grandpa will keep you safe and I should just focus on initiation. And maybe dating someone else. Someone…not related to Eric."

My scowl is immediate.

I've also inherited my father's inability to keep my expression neutral.

"I told him to go fuck himself." Adam reaches for me, warm hands sliding around my waist to pull me against him, and I have to really crane my head up to look at his face.

"Adam!" I blurt out, imagining the look on Four's face when his son spoke to him like that. It was probably bound to happen, years of built up anger that would have come out sooner or later, but I bet he's not happy. "He's probably really mad at you and I'm pretty sure he's going to think this is my fault."

"It's not your fault. Besides, I don't care if he's mad or worried or what. I told him I wasn't leaving you behind. I watched you almost die today. I'm not…I trust your grandpa, but I'm not leaving you here alone. I don't want to leave you here alone. I tried to lie down and I was planning on coming tomorrow morning, but it's just not the same without you. None of it is. Nothing will matter if you're dead."

His words are just as warm as he is. He keeps pulling me closer, and my bare feet hit his boots. He smells good, like something I can't describe or recognize, and he's unafraid of the dark woods behind us or the fact that he less than politely told his father off and then ditched our chosen faction. "I told my mom I was coming back to stay with you so at least someone knew. I thought she'd be mad but she promised she wouldn't tell anyone. Your mom was there, too. That's why I have the note. She said to tell you she fully supported my coming here."

"You really came back here just for me?"

My hands have found their way to his chest, and the fabric of his jacket is rough. I had once heard my father saying Christian loathed making such utilitarian jackets and longed to make something nicer for the soldiers. But at the rate they went through the jackets, it just wasn't feasible. I don't know why I'm thinking of that now, only maybe it's because I want to take the jacket off him.

"Adam?"

He's silent, until he finally nods.

It was odd how in a faction of so many, with so many people looking out for me or watching my every move, I often felt left out of everything. Even now I felt like everything was moving around me, growing and stretching and morphing quicker than I could keep up. There were secrets from a past I didn't understand, stories about people I had never heard before, and friendships changing faster than I could comprehend. Even my parents were caught up in all of it; arguing over these ghosts that had come back to haunt them, doing their best to make sure everything was fine, even if it wasn't.

It felt like everyone was miles ahead of me, and I was sort of an afterthought, even if I was an important one.

The only constant in my life was Adam.

He'd been there from the start, the almost end, and he was here now.

"Yeah, Eva. I don't… I don't want to stay in Dauntless alone and I don't think it's smart that they wanted you to stay here. What if Peter does find you? It doesn't even look like anyone's here."

He looks around for a moment, and he's not wrong.

I was pretty sure everyone had left, which was ironic considering my grandpa had insisted I'd be safer here.

"They promised me he wouldn't get to me. But um, yeah they all went to some bonfire. I think my aunt is close by though. Or maybe she's hiding on the patio. I don't know. I just came out here for some fresh air." One of my hands slides up, touching the collar of his jacket, then his jaw. "What if your dad comes here? What if he decides to come get you?"

"He doesn't know I left. I can only hope my mom doesn't tell him," Adam answers quietly, and one of his hands finds my back. He rests it between my shoulder blades, and I'm oddly aware of how much larger than me he is, and how it suddenly feels much more noticeable. He'd always been taller, but I'm unusually aware that Adam towers over me and he drops his head down. "But if he does show up, I won't go with him. I don't want to be with anyone else and I don't care that he thinks this is dangerous. You aren't dangerous at all."

I should feel a flash of insult, because I could be dangerous. I mean, I can fight. I can shoot someone. I'd been able to mostly get away from Jeremy. But standing here in nothing but a nightgown while he pulls me closer and closer to him probably doesn't give off the seductively lethal vibe that the girls in Dauntless exuded.

The only thing dangerous about me was I'd been left alone in Amity while everyone went to roast marshmallows.

"I don't know what to say…" I pause, because I really don't. I do want to tell him everything about how I feel. I want to tell him that I've never been anyone's priority except for the people who were responsible for me. That the closest person to ever do anything romantic for me was TJ, saving me a bowl of soup before Rylan knocked the cart over trying to fight someone for saying he was better at board games than him. I can't think of anything good enough, so I stare back at him, into dark blue eyes and I hope he understands. "Will you stay? You promise me you won't leave me here or go back because you really should go back?"

Adam smiles.

Gone is the insult and confusion and in their place is warm happiness at being wanted.

He does understand.

"I promise you, Eva. There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He bends his head down so his nose touches mine, and I hear him take a deep breath. "You're freezing. Why do you never ever wear your jacket?"

I smile back.

Stupidly.

"I don't even know where it is. But I was only planning on being out here for a minute," I grin, and a second later, his lips touch mine. He moves his hands to grasp my face, drawing me closer to him, and the entire world falls away.

I forget about Jeremy, lurching after me in an attempt to jab something into my skin to do who knows what. I forget about my father's sullen glare that I'd run into Blythe and not told him. My mother's sudden fear that I could be killed and being understandably worried about this enough that she was actually mad at my father. I forget about everything else going on in my life: Kat, apologizing because she felt like she should, but maybe not because she was truly sorry, this person named Peter, lurking in the woods with the same intent to kill me just because, and Blythe, my grandmother, who was seemingly at fault for all this because she loathed the fact that I existed.

I forget about everything except Adam.

I only notice that he's warm. That his lips are warm, his hands are warm, and he's pressed right against me. I relish in the feeling of his hands in my hair, grasping onto pieces and sliding his fingers in further. The way his arms have tightened to keep me against him, the way his uniform is rough and my nightgown is soft and he seems to like this. I feel every time he moves, the way he breaks away for only a moment to collect himself, then he grins and kisses me again, and how unbelievably nervous I suddenly feel.

It's a good feeling, though. New, like everything is going to change all because he came back.

I focus only on this, until the warm, tiny twinkling lights turn on, lighting up Eden's slowly freezing garden.

"What the…"

Adam breaks away again, and the distance is immediate. I lean into him without thinking, tearing my attention away only to look around at what's happening. The whole garden seems to come alive, despite the cold weather and the threat of violence hanging overhead.

"Did you turn those on?" Adam looks down at me and I shake my head no.

Now that it's somewhat light out here, the garden is so much larger than I had thought. It expands so far back that it disappears into the woods and possibly keeps going. But that's not what I'm focused on. I'm focused on the sudden burst of dainty lights all around us. They are everywhere, and they remind me of the ones in Erudite.

I bet my grandpa put them up. It's hard to see, but they're intricately woven through the plants, along hidden fences and carefully crafted planters, and painstakingly through the trees. Through the whole garden, along the back of their home, spanning upward until I can't see where they stop.

It's obvious he and my grandma spend a lot of time out here, and he was committed to making it like nowhere else.

"No, but um, I'll take credit for it if it means you'll stay." I stare up at Adam, rising up on my toes to slide my hands into his hair. "Even just for tonight. I have my own room and I don't think anyone will bother me. They aren't even here."

Adam doesn't answer me.

He does smile, knowingly and smirkily, the exact grin I was hoping for earlier. He nods his head in agreement before he lets go of me to shrug his jacket off. He puts it over my shoulders, then takes my hand in his and looks back toward the house.

An hour ago, I had been bored out of my mind. I appreciated everything everyone had done to keep me safe, and I knew they thought I was heading to bed and would be fine. I didn't mind it so much, but I couldn't help but feel like my time in Amity was going to pass by slowly. I had felt the maddening itch of being trapped, and the realization that I couldn't just return to Dauntless or ask someone to take me home.

But now, I don't think I want to go home, and I certainly won't be bored.

Not with him here.

His fingers tighten through mine, anchoring me to him, and he pulls me forward, out of Eden's garden.

"Lead the way, Eva."

* * *

The note sits on the nightstand, opened up and smoothed out and begging for me to reread it. Adam had handed it to me when we returned, and I'd skimmed it before setting it down. My mother's words were mostly what I expected. I wanted to read it again, but Adam would be back soon, and it felt stupid to be staring at a note that we both knew was about him.

The knock on the door comes right as I reach for the note, giving in to my lack of self-control. My fingers touch the paper, then drop it back down.

"I'll be right there."

I rise up from the bed, still perfectly made, and I ignore the roaring fire and the fact that Adam had disappeared into the bathroom to take a shower. We'd walked hand in hand through the garden until we were back at the house. While we walked, he told me Rylan had awarded the girls the afternoon off. Because they lost, the boys were given some training drill to complete. He said it was boring; Rylan didn't like it and he tried to get them to rush through it, and it was obvious it was for show. If someone had followed them back to Dauntless, they'd see life had gone on like nothing happened and the faction was unaffected by the attack. He told me Rylan kept up the charade until he'd had enough and called it a day.

The boys were still not happy.

After a quick dinner with his friends, Adam had planned to take a shower and go to bed. Instead, he found his mother, had a very interesting conversation with her, then hopped on the first train leaving Dauntless to come here.

To me.

"Eva, hi! I found some clean clothes for you. I know you didn't love the nightgown so I brought you a few things. They mostly belong to my husband, but he won't mind. He said to tell you hello!"

I open up the bedroom door to Holly, standing there smiling from ear to ear. Her arms are overloaded with clothes, not just a few pajamas and not just a few shirts. I stare at her in surprise, then immediately thank her.

"You didn't have to do this! I'm fine," I promise, but I take them from her, because I know someone else can wear them. "Thank you so much. I forgot you said you'd look."

"Of course. I wasn't going to leave you hanging." Holly tilts her head, clearly hearing the shower on and her eyes widen. "Did Adam get here yet? Is that him in the shower? Can I meet him? I think I've only seen him a few times." Her face lights up in recognition of the lovely rumor Zander had started while we were here. It's not shocking that it made its way back to her, and even less shocking that everyone still believed it.

I stare at her in total confusion because I wasn't sure how she knew he was here.

"Adam? How did you…" I stop when she smiles brightly, and I slowly put it all together. "My mom told you, didn't she?"

"She called a little bit ago. She said he was on his way and he was more than likely staying. I guess the two of you can't go back until they find this….this guy they're looking for. So, I thought if he was coming, he probably didn't bring anything to wear. Don't worry. I didn't tell anyone who they were for."

"My mom called to tell you Adam was coming?" I look at her in disbelief, though really, I shouldn't be surprised. "What did she say?"

Holly shrugs casually.

She's a mirror image of my mother when I'd ask her something and she knew more than she was letting on.

"Holly, you can tell me. It's…my mother. I know she told you more than just…" I mimic her shrug, and Holly can't hide her widening smile.

"Ok, um, it was a lot. Your mom talks fast and there were other people talking in the background. Two of her friends, I think. Anyway, something about Adam and his mom talking and his mom and dad fighting and then it caused all this drama and everyone is on edge waiting to see who the person was in the woods and being pissy because they know Harrison is going to find him first. Your dad is absolutely losing his mind that you aren't there and he doesn't think Amity is that safe, and um, oh, she said Adam's in love with you and that he's determined to be with you no matter what. And that he was coming and didn't have any extra clothes. So I thought I could help. Hey, do you like living in Dauntless? You know, you could always stay here if you decide you like it better. We would all like that."

Holly finishes talking, but all I heard was the part about Adam.

"He's said he's… in love with me?" I stumble over this, violently wishing my mother were here. Not so she and I could be having this heart to heart talk, but so I could smack her for relaying this via Holly and not in person.

And for assuming Adam loved me.

"I mean, you guys are really young but everyone in Amity gets married young and so did your mom." Holly points out, and she's most definitely my mother's sister. "And yes, well, Everly said he was distraught that you were attacked. She said your dad is super impressed that he shot Jeremy while running, and they planned on having sort of a party to thank him? Or some sort of faction wide recognition for him? I don't know what you'd call it. We'd just make him a pie and remind him that guns aren't really our first weapon of choice but we appreciate what he did. But, anyway, your mom said Adam didn't care. He just wanted to get back to you."

"Oh."

I clutch the clothes tighter to me, and I swear the nightgown seems to shrink six sizes.

"My husband's never shot anyone for me," Holly looks a little disheartened at this, and I wonder if perhaps my grandpa was slowly turning the Amity community into Dauntless 2.0. "Now I'm wondering if he could."

"Holly, Adam shot Jeremy because he was trying to kill me." I stumble over these words as well, because saying them out loud makes them real. "Actually, Jeremy would have killed me if Adam hadn't gotten there in time."

"Probably," Holly agrees. "Harrison said these guys hate your dad and will stop at nothing to get back at him."

She stops and glances up at the ceiling, and I can see her thinking about something.

"Eva, will you and Adam get married here or in Dauntless? Because if you get married here… I know some people who can make a cake. Sophia and Courtney have a-

"He hasn't even proposed," I say this without thinking, the words out of my mouth before I can stop them. In fact, I stand there with my mouth open for a second, because I hadn't wanted Adam to propose. I thought everyone was being ridiculous over this whole marriage thing, and I'd rolled my eyes at all of it.

I also refused to get married at eighteen just because my mother had.

"No matter. I'd like to formally meet your fiancé. I don't think he and I have ever really talked." Holly grins even wider, ignoring the fact that Adam had most definitely _not_ proposed and I hadn't answered any of her questions. The thought was cute; she'd been around him countless times while we were growing up, but he'd spent a good chunk of that time scowling and slinking away the second he could.

It was incredibly kind she'd be supporting such a wedding considering he'd rarely spoken to her.

"He's not my fiancé," I remind her, wondering if there was any point in saying otherwise. "I think we all know it's too late for him to go home, and it's sort of dangerous. So he's…taking a shower and staying here. Just for tonight. Not because he's in love with me or anything."

I flash her a wide smile, hoping she'll leave quickly and keep quiet, because I don't really want anyone else to know he's here. I was glad my mother had approved, and I was super glad Adam had talked to his mother, but the danger felt real that Peter was out there. If too many people knew where we were, maybe they would come after us.

Again.

Not to mention the fact that if my grandpa knew he was here, he'd come rushing back from wherever he'd gone to grill Adam about his dad. Ironically enough, he wouldn't so much care that Adam was here, but he would care that he got to tell him his thoughts about Four. Especially since he was insulted Four wanted to leave without eating lunch.

"Okay, sure. He's not in love with you. Either way, in love or not in love, he can use the pajamas. Harrison went down to oversee this bonfire they started and I'm pretty sure mom went with him. Our initiation is almost over, so they're having a mini celebration. He also thinks whoever wants to kill you will be deterred because we aren't scared of him." Holly pauses to look past me. "Which is mostly true. Everyone is determined to keep you safe, so they're willing to take down this guy if they find him. But hey, if you need anything, will you call me? I'm not far from here. My number is in the kitchen. I think my mom left her phone there." Holly smiles back, though her eyes keep sliding over me and toward the bathroom door. "I promise I won't tell anyone he's here, but they'll notice tomorrow. I'm assuming he has to eat at some point."

"Yeah, I should probably feed him," I shrug, pretending I've just remembered Adam could get hungry. "I'll tell everyone tomorrow. I just…he doesn't want to stay in Dauntless alone and I don't want to be here alone." I answer my aunt honestly, and she must understand.

"I know. It can be sort of creepy out here. The nights are really dark and this room is far from the main part of the house." Holly thinks while she speaks, but she looks pleased to be the only one who knows this secret. "Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow. Have fun with your…not fiancé. Keep me updated on the wedding."

She smiles the same smug smile my mother has and I glare at her. It's fleeting; she winks, and steps away from me dramatically.

"Goodnight, Eva."

"Goodnight Holly."

I wait until she's far enough down the hallway that I know she's going home, and I shut the door.

This is a lot to take in.

I stare at the door for a second, then I fumble around the clothes to lock it. Adam and I had locked the one leading outside, and I'd closed the heavy curtains over the windows. It wasn't that I demanded the utmost privacy in a faction I was a guest in, but I certainly didn't need anyone wandering into my room in the middle of the night.

Especially Peter.

With my luck, he'd waltz right by the windows to find me dead asleep and easily kidnappable.

"Hey, so I probably should have brought something else to wear. I didn't really think this through."

I turn around to see Adam standing in the doorway of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. The sight makes my brain disconnect for a few seconds. I stare at him like I've never seen him before, then I remember my arms are full of clothes and the fact that I'd taken a shower beside him in the trainer's locker room.

"Here. Holly brought these for me. They're her husband's, but I think they'll fit you," I smile, holding up the clothes like some sort of strange offering. To her credit, Holly had brought things that didn't scream Amity. White shirts, plain boxers, and dark maroon pajama pants. "Do you want them?"

"Sure," Adam shrugs, and his eyes land on the clothes. "That's probably a better idea than what I had in mind."

"What _did_ you have in mind?" I ask without thinking, and the next thing I know, he's right in front of me. He's lit up by the warm light of the fire, and the crackling is the only sound in the room. "Um, did you want me to get my grandpa? Do you want his pajamas? They might fit better. Holly's husband is really nice. His name is…"

I stop saying all the words in the human language possible when Adam shuts me up by kissing me, and I guess he doesn't want to hear my story about who Holly married. To be fair, I don't really remember his name. My brain slowly tries to point out that it's something like Hector or Ron or maybe Fred, but it loses out to Adam dragging me away from the door and taking the clothes from my hands.

"Give me two seconds. Then we should probably go to bed. I feel like I've been awake for days."

He breaks away from me with a small smile, and he's not wrong. I feel the same way. This morning seems like weeks ago. It feels like months have passed since Rylan told us we'd be playing the War Games, since I picked my team and Adam picked his, since I climbed onto Adam's lap and he didn't stop me, since Jeremy found me in the woods.

Since Adam shot him, preventing him from injecting me with whatever he'd brought.

"Okay," I immediately agree, because climbing into bed and falling asleep next to Adam seems to be a fitting way to end the day, especially now that I know he's not leaving. "I'll wait for you."

"Good."

He watches as I head to the bed I'd been sitting on, and I pull back the comforter and climb in while he goes to get dressed. I hear the water turn on in the bathroom, and I busy myself by picking up my mother's note. It's written in her handwriting, large and loopy and nowhere near as neat as my father's, and every single word makes me smile.

Just like Adam said, her support is immediate and complete.

_Eva,_

_Your father once came to Amity in the middle of the night. He showed up only to find me wandering around and unable to remember him. He had the same look of desperation that Adam has right now, and if I had to guess, I would bet Adam won't be returning tonight. Neither will you. Don't worry about Peter. Your dad will kill him and anyone else who wants to hurt you. _

_Enjoy your time there. Everything happens in Amity. _

_Love,_

_Mom_

_P.S. Arlene says the birth control shot should still be good. If not, I have no advice but a lot of free time. Love you! Have fun!_

I smile when I read it.

For once, I didn't completely cringe at my father's complete and total love of my mother, a love so intense that he was ready to have a family with her from the very start. I had never truly heard the story of how he came to find her, ripped away from him by some evil lady and hidden away in the dark forest of the Amity faction up until my mother confessed it had happened.

Even then, I didn't get the whole version.

In the harsher version, a tale hinted at once I read between the lines, she'd been given back to the very place she came from, minus her memory, loathing being somewhere she didn't belong because they didn't expect her to be there.

My mother clearly didn't want to talk about it, preferring to sort of smile and shrug it off once I had the barest of details. My father didn't like to talk about it, either. But what I got from it was he loved her enough to not give up, the same way Adam wasn't giving up.

Which made the thought of her writing this amusing. I could picture my mother writing the note, frantically, as she did her best to be supportive and helpful, all before Adam left.

I certainly didn't want a child in the next year, but I appreciate her enthusiasm.

"She uh, she made me wait while she wrote it."

I look up to Adam standing at the end of the bed. He's put on only a pair of boxers, and he looks less exhausted than when he showed up. He runs a hand through his hair to push it to the side, but it doesn't stay there. His eyes are glued to the letter in my hands, and he shrugs it off.

"She said it was important."

"Did you read it?" I fold it back in half, and I smile up at him. "It was um, very nice of her. She said everything happens in Amity."

"I didn't but she sort of…more or less hinted that she and your dad had some pretty big moments here. Do you think it was here, like…this room?" Adam glances around, examining the space with a hesitant look on his face.

I totally understand why.

"No," I shake my head, and I motion for him to come sit by me. "They stayed somewhere else. A long time ago she told me there's accommodations for visitors and Johanna had them stay there. I guess people used to come and stay for a long time and they needed somewhere to stay that wasn't with the main faction."

"Makes sense. I wouldn't be able to sleep with the rest of the faction a few feet away. Hey, did Harrison build this room?" Adam walks around the bed, and he slides beneath the heavy sheets with a final glance at the door leading outside. "You seem very confident that no one is getting in here, but I walked right in."

He's teasing me.

He's grinning at me in a way that makes my stomach drop and I'm pretty sure he knows it.

"I'm gonna guess yes. It doesn't quite fit with the rest of the house." I set the paper on the nightstand, and I reach to turn off the light. The room grows dark except for the light from the fire, but it doesn't quite reach us. "He probably wouldn't have me stay here if he thought someone could break in. Or maybe…maybe he's hoping Peter will come by. Maybe he's using me as human bait."

In the dark, Adam snickers.

"Doubtful. Do you know who Peter is?" he asks, turning on his side to look at me. He's reclined back onto the million pillows that were arranged behind us, and he makes a face. "I learned a lot tonight. More than I ever thought anyone would tell me. But what I found out was he's some jerk. My mom started to tell me about him, something about how he tried to get to her once and she thought he was the absolute worst person in Dauntless. He held some minor position of authority and was really shitty to everyone beneath him. She said at his worst, he tried to take your mom down when your dad wasn't there and it sent him into a fit of rage. They made him factionless after that. My dad was there, too. I'm betting he's not too fond of either of them."

"Oh, well then Peter sounds like he'd be really fun to run into," I laugh, and I reach for Adam. My fingers find his, and I pull his hand up so I can look at it. "Your dad was there? With mine?"

"Yeah. My mom said they found a moment of appreciation for one another and together they banned Peter from Dauntless. That's why they're worried he'd want both of us." Adam pauses, watching me intently. "It's more complicated than just…Blythe and Jeremy."

I nod, taking all this in.

Of course Four was involved.

The pieces fit together a little better with this new information, but not perfectly. There had to be more we didn't know, though it was unlikely we'd find out all of it.

Ever.

"Have you noticed all their stories are full of backstabbing and utter betrayal and people trying to kill them? Doesn't it seem like Dauntless was once a land ruled by insane amounts of drama?" I ask, trying to remember the last time I heard something normal like, everyone went to dinner and took turns picking up the bill. Or that Four and my father had always been friends, and they just fooled everyone into thinking they weren't.

I can't.

All I come up with are tales of heroic bravery on my father's part, and a lot of conniving on his friends' parts.

"Yes," Adam agrees, and he folds his fingers through mine. "It's like every single person involved had a flair for getting themselves into trouble. I don't think they told us everything. I know for a fact my parents haven't. Jason told me about this…this Marcus. He's why my father is losing his mind at every turn. Jason thinks he might be involved, too. But did anyone ever tell me about him? No. My parents didn't. My dad didn't think I should know."

We lock eyes and I pause to look at him.

His hair is still damp from his shower, but it falls down near his eyes. It's not as short as it was when initiation started, and still much longer than his friends'.

But the look on his face is one that I feel right down to my bones. It's the one of someone whose grown up having a certain world created for them. My parent had done the exact same for me, even more so. The villains I grew up with were those my father and Rylan argued over. They were princesses who chose to save themselves and princes who were too dumb to do anything more than stand in the background or luck into being the hero. They were the witches and warlocks of books that my father didn't like, but his father did so he would read them to me. They were the people in Dauntless who might frown in my direction when I was a small child, wandering over to a safety railing that was never replaced while a panicked Jason ran after me.

I had been given a perfect world to live in, up until my father couldn't keep it that way anymore.

"I think they did their best. I don't think any of them meant to make it so…" I pause, trying to think of a word. "I think they just wanted us to grow up without any of that. The people trying to kill us and the weird grandparents."

"Yeah, I mean, Harrison _is_ pretty odd…" Adam jokes, and he sits up so I can move closer to him. "You aren't mad that they didn't tell you? You didn't even know about Blythe. Doesn't it feel strange that they kept these things from you?"

"I mean, I accidentally started some weird war with Blythe, all because I didn't know who she was," I nod my head, scooting even closer to him. "Maybe your dad had his reasoning."

"Yeah, shitty reasoning." Adam shakes his head.

While my father didn't tell me these things because he wanted me to be safe, Adam's parents hadn't told him these things because they didn't think he needed to know.

It had to feel like a slap to the face to be finding all this out now, especially since initiation was almost over.

"Eva, where are you going to live when we're done? Did your dad already pick out an apartment for you?"

Adam asks this question while I settle against him, and I'm suddenly appreciative of the nightgown Paisley had given me. It slides against his skin and falls off my shoulder, but it puts me closer to him.

"I don't know," I answer honestly, and he nudges my leg with his. "I told my mom I wanted to live alone, but that's because she was asking me a million questions. After all this, I would be very surprised if my dad lets me. Even though I can choose to have an apartment if I want."

I contemplate this while Adam moves my hair out of the way.

I have to admit that despite being left in Amity as some weird ploy to trick Peter, it's far nicer to lie in this bed with Adam than the bunks in our dormitory. I like that this room is large and away from everyone. I like that the sheets are cold and heavy and feel nicer than the ones used for initiation. I like that it's just Adam and I here, with no one lurking in the shadows or watching grainy security footage of us.

I like that he seems pretty determined to move more than just my hair out of the way.

"Is there anything you want to tell me?" I lie back completely so I can face him, and my view is mostly his chest. He glances down when I reach my hand out, and my fingers touch his collarbone. "Other than you think my grandpa is weird."

"I appreciate him threatening my father," Adam answers lowly, only half kidding, and he throws me a lazy smile. "I already told you I like your nightgown. Maybe you could take it back with you."

"I'm sure if I ask nicely I can have all the nightgowns I want," I laugh, but I sort of like it, too. It was a little in the way since it had tangled around my knees, but I had the odd feeling it wasn't going to stay on much longer. "I just wanted to tell you I'm really glad you came back. I didn't expect you to."

"I meant what I said. I know we said we'd just see how things went, but when I found you, he was about to hurt you. I…I um…" Adam stops, and he tilts his head down at me. For a second, he stares at me, and I stare back, and I realize maybe my mother was right.

Maybe he did more than like me. Though the idea was crazy, the word _love_ conjuring up all kinds of emotions that were unfamiliar to me, the idea felt nice. Almost as nice as my hand on his chest, and one slippery tangle of pale fabric between us as he works to untie it.

"Eva, you trust me, right?"

His eyes are dark, oh so dark, and I nod without hesitation.

I wasn't so brave in the simulation of him and me, but this is different. He'd saved my life, and I don't think I could ever repay him. But I could show him how much he meant to me.

"Okay."

His lips crash into mine, and before I know what's happening, he's over me.

I stare up at him as he works quickly, pushing the blankets further back and sort of yanking me down to where he wants me. I'm surprised at how confident he is in all this, and I fully welcome the wave of nerves when he stares down at me.

"I should tell you I missed you. A lot. Enough that I decided it was worth having to go find my mom and ask for her help."

The words are lost because he says them while kissing me, having lowered himself back down. The weight of him is pleasant, safe and warm, and alluring when his hands move over whatever skin they can find. I feel him grasp the edge of the nightgown, and it bunches between his fingers.

"I can tell you I was pissed when I was told to leave, and even angrier when I was told to leave you alone."

He breaks away to say these words against my neck. One of my hands finds his head, gripping onto the damp strands to try and keep him in place. I like him like this, telling me all these things while he tries to pull the nightgown up, and I bite back the words to tell him to hurry up.

Because he's clearly in no hurry.

"I can tell you I think you're really pretty, and I like whatever you did to your hair."

I smile widely as he reclines back to look at me. He's grinning, but the grin falls away when his plan works. The straps untie, falling away easily until the rest of the fabric does too.

His eyes stay on mine as I pull it off completely. Despite the fire burning, there's a rush of cold air and a hint of nerves, intensified by the fact that he hasn't even blinked. He seemingly forgets about my hair as he stares, unabashedly, in total concentration. I can feel his gaze over every inch of my skin, burning as the seconds pass.

We'd been like this once before, just him and I.

"My aunt brushed it," I inform him, struggling to keep my tone serious. I wait for him to hesitate in any way, but it's clear neither of us are going to bed. "She talked to my mom. She knew you were coming. I think they did all this for you."

He looks mildly horrified. The thought of my mother being supportive was cute, but she had a habit of being all in. There was no half-hearted Everly Coulter helping her daughter spend the night in Amity, this was her, hoping it wound up the way she'd planned for it years ago.

"Well, that's…weird," Adam shakes his head, though he's kidding. "See. They're all weird. I told you we should have just come to Amity. Things would have been way easier."

"With all the weirdos? We'd be living here you know," I look up at him, and he makes a face that tells me he doesn't really want to be talking.

"Forget about them. Eva, I should tell you that seeing Jeremy almost kill you…it wasn't… I couldn't…"

He doesn't finish what he's saying, but that's okay.

I get it.

If the situation had been reversed, I don't think I could have handled it. Had Jeremy gotten to Adam first, I don't know what I would have done. The thought makes my chest clench up, my lungs tightening unpleasantly, worse than any simulation Zander had made us go through.

But it hadn't happened, and I wasn't afraid now. Not with Adam's hands skimming down my side to find mine, or my heart beating rapidly. Not with him over me, warm skin and almost nothing between us, and the knowledge that no one was returning home any time soon.

"I know," I answer him, and my fingers dig into his hair. "If he had you…if he had found…"

He rises up to look at me, holding my stare until I move my hand from his hair to his jaw. My fingers skim over the roughness of his skin, and he takes a deep breath.

I should tell him that maybe I do love him.

That all this time, I had wanted someone to care about me. I had spent time agonizing over why no one ever asked me to go anywhere with them or really smiled at me, and maybe it was because that person was meant to be Adam. Maybe the years apart had done us good. All of this was new, and it felt right that it would be him.

Out of everyone in the faction, it should be Adam.

"I um, I don't want you to stop tonight," I swallow down every last concern that's ramming into my brain right now, pointing out that there were a lot of reasons to tell Adam thanks for saving my life and good night. Curl up against his chest and call it a day. In the end, I decide to ignore all those reasons and focus on him, very carefully sliding his hands back into my hair, kissing me again and again as he silently agrees.

My world comes to a slow and heated halt as he willingly goes along with my plan. There is no rush or nerves, no panic or unease, only the sensation of Adam moving to find the skin of my neck while his hand moves down my side. The feeling of his fingers is familiar; we'd been sleeping by each other for a long time now, and it hadn't been as innocent as we were pretending it was. I'm not unprepared for the weight of his hands finding the curve of my breasts, or the way they stay there, making sure I don't knock him out of the way.

I don't.

If anything, my eyes close and I sigh in the relative reassurance that this is him, Adam, as he works to make sure he isn't rushing this.

"Eva, are you sure?" He mumbles this against my throat, and my hands find his back. I slide my hands over the tensing muscle, and down his side until they rest on his waist. He moves against me, both liking the feeling and grinning at the way it tickles, and his hips jerk against mine, seeking more than just this. He's hard against me, and my brain cheerfully points out that this probably isn't the first time he's been in this position. "I can…I can… fuck, I can't. If you say no, then…"

"I'm not saying no…" My answer is drowned out by my gasp when his fingers squeeze and slide lower. They graze over my ribs, over my stomach, until they find the waistband of the underwear I'd thrown on. They stall there, touching dainty, pretty fabric, and I can feel his pained hesitation as he waits for me to keep talking. "I don't think I've ever wanted anything more."

This confession is one of the many he's gotten out of me. There's nothing wrong with wanting this but admitting it out loud feels braver than anything I've ever said. Maybe because I've always secretly been afraid I'll wind up alone. That there was no love story waiting for me, or that it would never measure up to anyone else's. I'd spend my nights longing for someone to want to spend time with me, or worse, watching every single one of my friends end up with someone while I didn't. Being this vulnerable with Adam would either be the best thing I'd ever done, or the worst.

I had a feeling it most definitely wouldn't be the worst.

Luckily, Adam seemed to be in agreement.

"Fuck, Eva."

I can't tell what he's groaning at. The way my legs have tightened around his to pull him closer, or the thought that I wanted him the same way. I smile at both, but my smile turns to a scowl when he pulls away.

"Adam?" I blink up at his face, tense with a frustration I haven't seen before, or maybe I'd just not noticed it. He's nowhere near as relaxed as he was after his shower, and he's staring at me like he's not sure this is real. "Is everything okay?"

For an entire three seconds, I'm afraid he'll back out. This seemed like a fairly natural progression of our relationship. I liked him, he liked me, he'd saved my life, and shown up in Amity of his own free will. I can already feel the crushing weight of his imaginary rejection, and I'm not quite sure I'll be able to look at him if he gets up and leaves.

"I um, yeah, Eva everything is good. I just…this is you and me right?" He fumbles with his words, and I wonder if he's asking if I've invited someone else over. That feels a little outside the realm of my experience, considering the most I've done is kiss him.

"Yeah, um, is there supposed to be someone else here?" I stare up at him in total concern, but his eyes widen.

"No! Eva, I just meant…this is…you haven't done this with anyone else, have you?" Adam stumbles over these words, and I have to stop myself from laughing. It was cute he thought I had any experience, because I'd told him before that I hadn't. In fact, most of the boys in Dauntless seemed to think that looking in my direction would send my father after them, and they weren't wrong.

Good thing he was currently factions away, probably scowling into the darkness as my mother gloated that Adam had come back for me.

"No," I shake my head. "Just you. You're the first for everything."

His grin is immediate, warm and pleased and it mirrors mine.

* * *

An hour later, or maybe less, maybe more, the grin is gone from my face.

It's replaced with something else, a groan of pure frustration and agony, as Adam moves his fingers away from me. Well, he keeps them near me, his teeth digging into the skin of my neck and his fingers back against the inside of my thighs, and I could kill him. Murder him right here, in the middle of Amity, and no one would ever know.

Someone would ask questions eventually, but that's not important now.

"Adam! Don't stop!"

My protest is lost in everything. The dark room, his body mostly covering mine, my feet on his calves, pushing against him so he'll go back to what he was doing.

"I swear if you don't…"

"Sorry, Eva." He has the audacity to laugh; he leans away from me to kiss me, and roughly moves my hair out of my eyes. He's on his side, leaning on one arm, and his eyes are dark as he gazes down at me. Lit up by the low glow of the fire, his cheeks are red and his expression is pleased.

"I had no idea you were so impatient." Adam's grin is amusing, both sneaky and secretive, because he was just as impatient.

Once he was sure he wasn't being compared to anyone else -though really, would there have been any comparison-, he didn't waste any time. He pulled my underwear down, and I reached for his. I took a second to appreciate what Zander's training had done for him. My fingers trailed over his stomach; over the definition of every muscle he'd worked to create and then some. I grazed over his hip bones, over the waistband of his boxers, and then I pulled them down before he could say my name.

The nerves should have kicked in then.

I wasn't exactly sure what to do next. I had long drowned out my mother's sex talk, because at the time I found it to be eye roll inducing, but at least she'd taught me that whatever I was going to do, make sure it was with someone I cared about.

I didn't think I could possibly care any more about Adam than I did now.

I reached for him, focusing on the way his eyes flew open and his jaw went slack, as I took the length of him in my hand.

"Eva…"

He tried to say my name, but it was a mumble of something that sounded like it mixed with a groan. I sat up in hopes of having a better vantage point, and it made a world of difference. His erection was hard in my hand, but slick and hot and surprisingly wet. It didn't take me long to figure out what he liked, and it took even less time for him to push me away, mumbling that he didn't want to come in my hand.

Which was how I wound up beneath him, moaning while his fingers moved between my legs. To both our surprise, he was fairly skilled at it, and my whole world burned a little brighter. Suddenly, the idea of sleeping in his bed with nothing happening, for so long, was stupid. It was a terrible, rotten idea, and if I could, I would go back in time and kick myself for not agreeing to this sooner. If I'd had any idea it felt this good, his hand between my legs, rubbing in intense concentration over my clit, I would have skipped the pajama shorts a long time ago.

Eventually, the feeling became too much. Too hot, too colorful, too exquisite, until he moved his hand away and I felt an intense rush of loss.

"I'm not impatient!" I try to glare at him, but it's lost when he reaches over to kiss me, then shoves me back against the pillows. "You stopped when…"

It's hard to talk with him over me.

His mouth moves against mine, but it's not enough of a distraction to not feel him pushing my legs apart. I open them willingly, too worked up to dare think of stopping any of this.

"When what?" Adam asks, but he's not really listening. I feel the head of his erection right between my legs, and he only pauses to look at me. "Eva?"

"Yeah?" I look up at him, unable to tear my stare away, and one of his hands touches my temple. The gesture is sweet and slow, and he moves my hair back again, so he can really look at me. He locks eyes with me, and his hand finds mine.

"I'm glad it's you."

"I'm really glad it's you," I answer, and my hands desperately try to grasp onto his hair. I lose, mostly because he's staring so intensely that I almost look away, and because he moves closer, shoving his hips against mine while his fingers slide between my own.

And then, he's inside me.

For a second, we both stay perfectly still. The feeling is like nothing I've ever felt before. A second of sharpness that isn't all that sharp, then him, as close to me as anyone could ever get. He drops his head down to kiss my forehead, and he stays there, not saying anything. For a single moment, there is nothing but him and I, the sound of his heart beating, and the fire crackling.

"Adam?"

I suddenly wonder if something's wrong. Maybe it didn't feel good or he was expecting something else.

"Yeah?" Adam answers me, but his voice is strained, and he barely gets the word out. "Eva, are you okay?"

I nod against him, and once he has my silent encouragement, everything happens.

He moves slowly at first, thrusting in and out until he's sure I'm good, then harder. The feeling is indescribable in a way I haven't experienced. Hours ago in the garden, I was sure I was going to die, and now I'm certain I'm about to die. I lose the ability to think rational thoughts, only dimly realizing this feels good, but mostly importantly, _right._

"Fuck, Eva, I don't know…I don't know how long…"

I can hear Adam saying things, all kinds of blasphemy about how he isn't going to last much longer, but I'm not listening. My hands move on their own, grabbing on to whatever part of him I can find because I want him closer. They skim greedily through his hair, over his shoulders, down his back, and I dig my nails into his skin. I like seeing how he reacts; each touch seems to elicit a different response, and he slowly loses it second by second.

I try to memorize every expression he makes.

I reach up to touch his face when he screws his eyes shut, and my fingers find his lips, lingering there until he opens his eyes. They are so dark they nearly look black, but they are heavy with everything he can't say. Lusty and on fire, but soft enough that I know this isn't just for tonight.

Not by a long shot.

"You feel really good," Adam manages to get out, and he slows down. I dislike the feeling of him pulling out of me. I whimper until he's back inside me, slamming his whole body against mine. I try not to cling to him, but then I decide I don't care. He's buried deep inside me, and I want him closer, oh so much closer. "So good…"

"Please don't stop," I groan up at him, sort of overwhelmed by the feeling of him and I, but I like it. I feel like I'll never feel this close to anyone, and the fact that it's him makes it all the better. "Adam…I…"

I don't get to finish my sentence. Adam is moving faster, his hands and mouth everywhere, and I'm dimly aware of a low tightening sensation in my stomach.

"Eva, I'm really close…"

I think that's what he says, but I'm not sure. I groan when he hits something deep inside me, and it sends a wave of intense euphoria through me.

"Okay, just don't stop." I say the words pleadingly, not caring that he hasn't answered me. He's pinned me beneath him, just like that one time on the mat, only this is so much better. I can feel every inch of his skin warmed by me, and every inch of him. I like the feeling of all of it: his breathing coming in sharp, choppy pants, his arms trembling as he struggles not to give in, and the low groan growled into my neck. His lips find mine again, desperate and sloppy and pleading, and I know he's really close.

This is far better than I ever could have imagined.

"I…oh fuck…"

I realize I may never hear what he's about to say. He says something, warm and sweet and against my lips, but I miss it entirely. I catch my name right as everything feels just a little too good. There's some fumbling on his part, one of his hands slipping between us, and the next second everything in me tenses up. My whole world goes blindingly white, and I feel like I've drunk a gallon of peace serum and then some.

It lasts longer than expected. The feeling stretches through every single nerve in my body, until it starts to wane.

When all that's left is a warm, buzzy feeling, I open my eyes to Adam groaning and I feel his whole body crash against mine. He thrusts in and out of me a few more times before his own orgasm takes over, and he gracelessly collapses on top of me, saying my name over and over.

"Eva…are you…did you…?"

He's still talking, slowly blurting questions out, but his head is on my chest and he's definitely not moving anytime soon.

I reach for him, my movements slow and unhurried. My hands find his hair, moving to touch his temple, and I can feel his breathing slow down. He swallows thickly as his eyes shut, and I keep my hand there, holding him against me.

I don't want him to move.

In the hazy aftermath of sleeping with him, really and truly sleeping with him, I find myself drunk off how good everything feels. Not just having sex with him, but the vulnerability on both our parts.

And the sex.

I have to admit it was pretty good, considering neither of us knew what we were doing.

"I'm um…you should…"

Adam is still mumbling, his body heavy over mine, and it dimly occurs to me that someone had told him something. I try to picture which friend had given him advice, and if they knew it was for when he was with me. There's a moment of horror as I wonder if it was Jason, but then I realize that out of anyone in the faction, he'd have been the most trustworthy and the least embarrassing to talk to.

"Thanks for coming back to Amity," I mumble, and I try to keep my own eyes open.

I fail.

The weight of today finally hits me, but not like it normally would. If I were back in Dauntless, I'd be wracked with the need to set things right. I'd want to find Blythe and make her stop her plan to kill me, and I'd want to make sure my parents were fine. I'd be too worried to sleep, too scared that Peter might find his way into Dauntless, and too tense to do anything more than overthink it.

But tonight, I don't feel any of that.

I feel nothing but Adam still lying with his head on my chest, my fingers working through his hair in a soft, endless pattern, and the sound of the incoming storm. I feel happy; totally content and undeniably a little high off what happened, and I want to do it all over again.

But I can wait.

Adam falls asleep first, his eyes closed and one of his hands curled around mine, and I fall asleep right along with him.


	25. Chapter 25

Thank you SO SO SO much to **Bamberlee** for editing this chapter! You're the best!

Thanks for reading and reviewing & have a great weekend!

Also: this week's cliffhanger is brought to you by **Bamberlee**. Bonus points if you guess the correct answer lol.

* * *

"Eva."

"Eva."

"EVA."

I open my eyes to Adam's face right over mine, wrought with concern. He scrunches his nose up when I blink at him, and I shove my hair away to make sure it's really him.

It is.

Sitting right next to me, with his leg pressed against mine.

"Adam?"

His name comes out sounding really attractive. Scratchy and low and disbelieving, even as last night slowly works its way into my brain. There's an image of him above me, hips moving against mine as he slowly thrust into me, and my soul leaving my body as I came, he came, and then collapsed on top of me and promptly fell asleep.

"Is everything okay?" I try to sit up, but I'm pinned in place by his gaze. He's staring at me intently, and I suddenly wonder if my grandmother had drugged me. Or maybe it had been Holly and Paisley. Maybe there was something in the hairbrush or the nightgown that is currently nowhere near me.

"Yeah, you were just…you kept mumbling something in your sleep. It sounded like you were saying Jason. Actually, I'm pretty sure you were saying Jason."

Adam looks right at me, and my eyes fly wide open as everything that happened yesterday comes back to me.

Including the part about Jason.

"Oh, shit, no! I… before I fell asleep, I was thinking that Jason…Jason was the one…" I stop, realizing I'm about to sound incredibly insane if I admit I thought Jason had given him any sort of sex advice. The idea is mortifying and saying it out loud doesn't make it any better.

"You thought Jason was…the one?" Adam scoots closer, unwilling to let this go. My cheeks feel like they're on fire, and I pull the sheets up higher, totally aware of the fact that not long ago, Adam saw everything.

"Um, the one who talked to you…about us…and last night." I hesitate, while also wishing the bed would swallow me whole. "You know…that we….I thought maybe he told you…"

Through my jumble of nonsense, he somehow figures it out.

Adam bursts out laughing. It's sort of a relief, but I swat him away from me when he shakes his head. "You thought I talked to Jason about having sex with you? That's what you think I do in my free time?"

"No," I would scowl at him, but he's leaning toward me, and his bare chest is appealing. "I just…I don't know. Who else would you talk to? Which one of your friends is having sex?"

"All of them," Adam answers casually, and my eyes widen. "Really, Eva? You think Aja and Rachel are just admiring each other's hair? Or Pink and Gunner? Or…" He pauses, and I glare at him because I know what he's about to say. "Your uncle and Kat?"

"I hate you," I answer defiantly, pulling the sheets up higher, and Adam grins even wider. "Don't you dare tell me my uncle is having…"

"I'm pretty sure he's been sleeping with her for a while," Adam shrugs, and he's too close for me to throw anything at him. He pauses, his fingers moving to touch the very ends of my hair before he tilts his head. "I didn't talk to any of my friends because I didn't think it was their business. I mean, I heard a lot, but…actually, Jason and I did talk a few times. Just…not what you're thinking."

Oh well that's good.

Out of everyone in the faction, he chose one of the men closest to my father.

Though Jason was the least likely to spill any of this to him.

"That's, uh, great." I stare at him, unable to keep the horrified look off my face. "Real…casual."

"Eva," Adam laughs, but he stops to let go of my hair and get closer. "I thought when it happened, I wanted to figure it out with just you. Not…with Aja or Gunner in my head…" Adam leans in and his lips touch mine. "Or Zander…"

I groan, even though I like this incredibly good mood he's in.

"You're ruining this," I groan, but I kiss him back, pushing the blankets away. The sheets are a lost hope around us. They're tangled in every direction, and he knocks the pillows back so he can pull me against him.

"Sorry," he kisses the words along my jaw, then behind my ear. "Anyway, I didn't want to wake you up, but I was starting to think you were hoping I was someone else."

"Oh yeah, that's who I've been in love with this whole time. My father's friend who believes we'll one day be taken over and enslaved by an alien race."

Adam freezes.

His mouth is near my temple, and he rests his head against mine. I have the sudden urge to throw up everywhere, because there wasn't a chance in hell he missed what I said. I immediately back pedal, figuring he could chalk it up to me being disoriented from last night or whatever Amity voodoo magic my grandma had slipped in my drink.

After all, we might have slept together, but that didn't mean he loved me.

"I'm…Adam, I'm sorry. I understand if you don't…I just…you came back and no one's done anything like that for me, and I just…last night….it was you… and…I….I feel…"

Oh No.

I clamp my mouth shut, and I shake my head and pray Adam will look somewhere else.

I sound like my father when he asked me if Adam loved me or if I loved Adam and I can't even think straight. My words are a rush as I try to figure out how to smooth this over before I ruin it. All I know is Adam returned to Amity when no one else did, and he willingly spent the night. One thing led to another, and it had all felt right. Being alone with him, being together with him in a way I'd never really thought about before, and falling asleep with him against me, just as worn out as I was.

And maybe I did love him.

Maybe that was why I never gave up on him, even if it felt like us being together was fulfilling some fairy tale prophecy.

I just didn't know how he'd take hearing that right now.

"You don't have to be sorry," Adam pulls back, and the distance is once again noticeable. "I'm pretty sure I've been in love with you for a while. I think seeing Jeremy nearly kill you made me realize I couldn't imagine my life without you."

He says the words easily, almost casually, like once he'd realized these were his own thoughts and feelings, that was it.

Easy.

Love was a very logical next step.

"Oh thank God," I sink against him, again without thinking, because I was deathly afraid he'd have laughed me out of this room. It wasn't that I couldn't love him or shouldn't; it was that it might not be real, just like he'd worried about. Or that what I felt for him had grown, and what he felt for me had fizzled when he realized I came along with a slew of age-old drama I couldn't even explain and a hoard of weird aunts who had prepped me for this evening. "I thought maybe you were thinking this was all a mistake and then I didn't know what I would do. I swear, I've felt like I was about to die a million times in the past twenty four hours."

"Last night was hardly a mistake," Adam answers, and his hands find my waist. He moves me closer without any protest from me, and after a fleeting moment of awkwardness, he settles me right on his lap. "In fact, I was thinking that we should do it again. Make sure you're still alive and not actually a ghost. You could have died. It was freezing outside and you were pretty much wearing nothing."

I can't help but smile at him, because he seems to just get it. He's the first person in my life to understand me like no one else did

"So you're saying if I did die, that I'd come back to haunt you?" My fingers are on his shoulders now, digging into the warm skin there. The fire has almost burned out completely, and the only light comes from there. Behind Adam is nothing but the howl of the storm, the faint crackle as the fire pleads for more firewood, and the dim light from the moon spilling in above the curtains.

I don't think it can get any better than this.

"Yeah, you without a jacket. Wandering the lower floors of Dauntless. I can see it now."

"Out of anyone in Dauntless, I guess I'd haunt you," I mull this over, craning my head up to look at him, and he bends down so his forehead touches mine.

The relief is overwhelming.

I had thought a lot of things about Adam Eaton, but I certainly hadn't thought he'd ever be in love with me.

Ever.

But he is, and that's all that matters.

"Good, because I'd expect nothing less."

His words are drowned out by my laughter, then my groan as he knocks us backward, into the pale sheets and paler pillows.

* * *

"I don't know…Eva, are you sure…you're good?"

I'd also never thought Adam would be one to be at a complete loss for words. He'd always been reserved; he liked to keep to himself, he didn't say anything unnecessary, and he kept his emotions pretty closed off.

Until we started initiation.

Once we were on our own, away from parents who were convinced we'd die without them –though they may be right on that count, things changed. Adam told me all kinds of things, warm little secrets and funny stories, usually whispered at night before we went to bed. He told me how he felt about me, fearing it wasn't real but a product of our mothers' lifelong determination to have us wind up together, and he told me he liked me for me, and that wouldn't change.

But it had.

It was clear that what was between us wasn't a juvenile crush or some fleeting romance that would crash and burn once things settled down.

I couldn't even begin to explain the way my chest ached as he gazed up at me, happily settled beneath me, while he was inside me. The position hadn't been my idea, and to my surprise, I found Adam was far more adventurous than I was. Or maybe it was because my friends hadn't told me anything. I felt a speck of unfair irritation at them, both for not telling me they were doing more than just kissing goodnight, but also because I felt like I should know more. I wanted Adam to feel as good as I did, though I was pretty sure it was working.

He'd been groaning my name for a few minutes now. One of his hands was on my hip, and the other was digging into my thigh.

"Eva, this isn't…going to last…"

I smile down at him, watching his eyes shut and his head fall back, and I suddenly understand the appeal of it all. It wasn't just the physical connection between us but the fact that I wouldn't dream of having sex with anyone else. Things with Adam felt like they were supposed to happen, and if anything, exploring this together was way more fun.

"I like it," I answer cheerfully, catching an eyeful of him gritting his teeth together and his head falling onto the pillows behind him. "It feels good."

I sink down further, and I'm rewarded with his fingers trailing up the inside of my thigh.

Adam was a quick learner, and even better, he was determined to make sure I enjoyed this. He opens his eyes to say my name, but they stay on me.

I should feel fairly exposed.

After all, I had no clue where my underwear or nightgown were, the only thing on me was Adam's hand. I didn't know if I was who he ever imagined having sex with, or what he thought. He'd said I was pretty before, but he might have been thinking something else once I took my clothes off. I wasn't the tallest one in our class, nor did I really look any different than when training began.

Not to mention the fact that while he was fairly tan, I really could pass for a ghost.

"Adam?" I glance back down, and he's still looking at me. His eyes find mine, and his fingers tighten on my hip. "Are you okay?"

"You're really hot, Eva."

He says the words as he stares, then shakes his head. "I'm sorry, no you're really, really pretty. I've never seen anyone so pretty…I…just it's hard to think with you like that."

The triumph is immediate.

It's a rush of blood everywhere, but especially to my ego which had been having a major panic attack a few seconds ago.

"I think you're pretty hot, too." I answer, sounding like I'm joking but I'm not. He was hot. I'd never seen anyone naked before, but I was going to go out on a limb and guess they didn't look like Adam. I'd also decided I didn't need to see anyone else naked. "I think, I like this, too. You feel really good and—"

He cuts me off by sitting up and kissing me. It's unlike the kiss from last night in every way, but mostly because it feels just as hopeful as I feel. He kisses me frantically, pulling me closer and grunting my name against my lips. I give in willingly as he pulls me toward him, then manages to knock me down so I'm beneath him.

"So we're good right? It's just us… from here on out?" Adam asks while he takes my hands in his, and he pushes back into me. For just a moment, I don't answer him. I relish in the feeling of him over me, on me, in me, but mostly his fingers through mine. He'd never hesitated to hold my hand, and it feels like it means more than just holding onto me.

"You and me." I tighten my fingers through his, and outside, the storm finally hits, crashing in the not so distant distance.

* * *

"Well you look different. What happened? Did you get stuck in the blizzard? How did you even get back here?"

I glance up from my eggs and bacon to the grin of Forrest, cheerfully pouring himself the entire pot of coffee and shaking snow out of his hair. I had heard him saunter in with his son a few minutes ago, slamming the door to announce his arrival, but I'd been too busy listening to my grandpa and Adam talk over breakfast.

I wasn't sure that they were who Adam wanted to eat breakfast with after last night, but surprisingly, it wasn't as awkward as one would have thought.

For starters, my grandpa clearly knew Adam had shown up. In fact, he announced it when Adam and I sat down. He told us his men saw Adam walk into the Amity faction, and they trailed him to make sure he made it safely. Once they knew he'd arrived at his final destination, me, they let him be.

It was obvious he'd spent the night, and so far, my grandfather was handling this with way more chill than my father would have.

"You look different," I mutter back in a very mature retort, and Forrest smirks.

"Adam, how are you man? Uh, sort of surprised to see you here. Thought your completely intolerable and unreasonable father took you home?"

Adam looks up as he and Woody take seats at the table, but my grandpa interrupts Forrest with a stern shake of his head.

"Forrest knock it off. Remember where you are. We have rules and you know them," he pauses to shake his head in mock disappointment. "One insult per person. Four is either intolerable or unreasonable, but he can't be both. Mostly because they're the same thing."

"Sorry, Dad," Forrest answers, and his good mood isn't at all affected, even as Adam snickers into his coffee. "So what, did you walk here? How long did that take? You're really that dedicated to coming to see Eva? Because uh, aren't people in Dauntless supposed to be like, agile? Eva once tripped walking up the front porch stairs. I'm not really sure someone as agile as you should be with someone so…skilled."

"Thanks Forrest," I remark darkly, chewing my bacon and trying to pretend that moment didn't happen.

It had happened. Even better, Adam already knew. Because he had been there. Walking behind me, when we were fourteen and coming to visit my grandma for her birthday. He'd caught my arm to keep me from breaking my face, then let go like his hand was on fire.

"I took the train," Adam shrugs the question off, and he sets his coffee down. He kicks me beneath the table, clearly remembering the most romantic moment of our lives on that fateful day. "I left Dauntless before the storm hit. I guess I got lucky."

"Oh, you got lucky," Woody beams. His plate is full of eggs and bacon, and toast, and more toast, and some hash browns. "That train could have crashed. I heard they don't run well in the storms."

"He definitely got lucky," Forrest looks right at me, and I regret not brushing my hair better this morning. "This storm's a big one. Coulda got hurt. So uh, when's your dad showing up? I was expecting to see him here when I walked in."

"Hopefully never." Adam rolls his eyes, but he looks relieved. "I don't think the trains are running now, and I suppose he could take a truck. But he's got other problems to worry about. He has work to do there."

He looks at me, and I smile in reassurance.

The chances of his father showing up were low.

My parents were a different story. My mother had already called this morning. I heard her talking to my grandmother as she stood in the hallway, and once she had confirmation that Adam was here, there was an excited yelp. She must have asked to talk to me, because my grandma told her I was sleeping, and I'd call her when I woke up.

I hadn't been sleeping.

I was lying beneath Adam, who was sleeping, and toying with his fingers.

A second later, there was a quiet knock, then my grandma cracked the door just enough to slip in some fresh towels. She mentioned she was making breakfast and to come to the kitchen in a half hour if we were hungry.

I woke Adam up not too much later. I took a quick shower, he took another one, and we walked to the kitchen with damp hair and borrowed clothes.

I wasn't expecting Forrest to show up, nor Woody.

Yet here they are. Braving a snowstorm to get some breakfast. They are both oddly loud and excitable, and it's a stark comparison to my night alone with Adam.

"So, are you guys up for some sledding today? We were thinking of going. There's a really big hill down by the lake! They said it'll snow until lunch, maybe dinner. But it's really fun in the storm. Sort of like, danger sledding." Forrest mixes something into his coffee, and looks at Adam and me. "I promise you'll have a good time. Your life will flash before your eyes."

"Oh yeah! I'm in. I'm not working today. No one's gonna come by in this storm," Woody looks way too enthused, and I shake my head.

"Um, no thanks. That sounds like a great way to die," I sound a little grumpy, and I am. While I'd normally like the idea of something dangerous and fun, the warm bubble of being alone with Adam has been burst, and I frantically try to think of a way to get it back. "Maybe we should try to get back. Maybe we should call them and let them know we're okay."

Next to me, Adam looks at me like I'm insane. Not only was a snowstorm raging outside, Dauntless was far away from here. The trains most definitely were not running, and we'd be stuck calling someone and asking them to bring a truck out here.

I had to be desperate if I was considering sleeping in the dorms more private than this.

"Eva, I think we should just stay here," Adam scoots closer, and his fingers touch mine. He seems to have caught on that I want nothing to do with sledding or Forrest asking a million questions or doing anything other than going back to bed. "I thought maybe we'd watch a movie or something. You already almost died once, so you should probably stay inside."

"Sound good to me. I have plenty you can pick from. I don't want either of you out in the storm," my grandpa shakes his head. "It's too dangerous. Forrest, you don't need to be out there, either. With your luck, you'll break your neck."

"I'll be careful," Forrest sounds oddly sulky, and he crosses his arms. "Really, I can't go?"

"No, don't be an idiot." My grandfather is oddly affectionate even with the insult, and his eyes tell me he is mildly concerned over the idea. "You'll sled right into the lake and I'm not fishing you out. Anyway, I need your help. I have something scheduled you might like."

"Cool. I'm in," Forrest readily agrees, immediately forgetting he was a grown adult who didn't need permission to go outside. "What is it?"

"Caught some asshole and we want to question him. I think you're intimidating enough to make him squirm."

The eggs I'm eating stick in my throat, and I have to drink some orange juice to swallow them down. "You found someone? Who?"

"Someone working with Peter."

Adam and I both turn to look at my grandpa, and he smiles widely.

"I told your father I'd find him first and I will. This is a start. Dumbass was trampling through my garden not too long after Adam got there. I told that son of a bitch not only did he ruin my day, but he ruined my chrysanthemums."

"Do those even grow in winter? Because I thought they were a spring flower?" Woody's question is thoughtful, but he loses interest when my grandma brings him another plate of food.

"Regardless, he was looking for me. Not Eva." My grandpa ignores Woody's question and turns to shake his head, unimpressed as ever. "I know you thought we left you alone. I had to go start the bonfire since everyone expected me to. But you weren't alone. Far from it."

"Oh, so there were more people here? Just hanging out?" I drink some more orange juice, slowly dying at the thought that we weren't as alone as I'd imagined. "I was pretty sure it was just me."

"No! You really think I'd leave my granddaughter for him to find? Please. I had more men working this area than Dauntless has in total. Actually, some were from Dauntless. I called in a few favors." He reclines back in his chair and catches my grandma's wrist when she drops off his coffee. "Eden, sit. Enjoy your breakfast before it gets cold."

"I just wanted to make sure everyone had everything," her smile is warm, delighted that we were all here. Their house was far from empty, but I knew she loved when she had company, especially when that company was us. "Eva, your mom called. She and your dad were going to come by, but the storm has everyone stuck where they are. She said they'd still try, but don't be disappointed if they can't make it here. Your dad wants you home now that this guy has been found."

"Oh," I feel myself deflate, because my time here is coming to a screeching halt. Minutes ago, I had wanted to return to Dauntless, but I didn't really. I wanted to stay here for at least a few more days, and now that I knew my grandpa had a man, there would be no stress. "Um, how did you catch him? You just found him looking at the flowers?"

"No, the moron stepped in a bear trap. I enjoyed listening to him howl for a few minutes, then I hauled him away."

Next to him, my grandmother sinks into the open seat, and she looks mildly stressed.

"Harrison, they're still in the gardens…" She holds her teacup in both hands and glances out the kitchen window. "I thought you said you'd move them to the areas that really needed them."

"Eden, do you want to get eaten by a bear in the middle of the night? Do you want Eva to get eaten by a bear? Because we had one come right in the back door last year." My grandpa looks at her like she's insane, and their struggle is sort of funny. My grandmother was very hesitant to harm anyone or anything, unless it was her family.

Even a bear.

"He was hungry," she reasons, and across from them, Forrest laughs.

"You two are insane. A bear just wandered in here and ate the pie you made. Mom, you can't have a bear in the house no matter how hungry it is. Just let Dad have his bear traps."

"He was a really sweet bear. He left after he ate some fruit," my grandmother shrugs, and next to me, Adam is very quiet. "And some pie."

I would kill to know what he's thinking.

I could only assume it was that everyone here was nuts. Dauntless didn't have wild bears. For a faction built on being brave and fearless, we certainly didn't have wild animals wandering in at night.

Not unless you counted Rylan, stumbling in from a night at Clyde's.

"You really…there was really a bear…_in here_?" Adam asks, his voice laced with reasonable disbelief. "Just… in here. And you…were good with that?"

"Well, no." My grandma shakes her head, and she sighs. "I know you're thinking this does sound a bit odd, but we're awfully close to the woods and he must have needed to eat. I agreed to let Harrison put some traps out, but only the kind that wouldn't hurt the bear. Just…something to scare it off."

"Scare traps," Woody announces, and he stabs his eggs with gusto. "I helped."

"I put the real ones in the garden when I heard Peter was on the loose. I'm not stupid. I knew he'd come looking for me. I walked the fucker out of Dauntless." My grandpa takes a drink of his coffee, pausing to smile. "Anyway, I figured if he was going to come for me, then he'd get what was coming to him. I told your father I'd find him first, and I still will."

"That is….crazy…"

Adam is the only one speaking, torn between being impressed and horrified and it's unclear which part he's talking about.

My grandma, having a bear wander into her house and her only concern being that it was hungry. My grandpa, setting up bear traps around Amity, determined to find Peter before anyone. Or the fact that no one thought any of this was out of the ordinary.

"Adam? You good?" I nudge him with my knee, smiling and shrugging when his eyes meet mine.

"Fine," he stares for a second, then returns to his breakfast, listening to my grandma ask if my grandpa had thought of tagging the bear so they'd know if it was the same one.

I wasn't sure if Adam had forgotten, but he'd once said we should have moved here, and now he was getting to experience Amity firsthand, thanks to my grandfather.

Bears and all.

* * *

"So, what he's saying is, we could have stepped in the bear traps? I could have lost a foot coming to find you?"

Adam lies next to me, his feet propped up flat and my fingers through his. The room is warm again; my grandpa had relit the fire once the storm worsened, and Forrest's plans to sled right back to his house were put on hold. They left, along with Woody, to go see this mystery guest, and no one invited Adam and me.

Which was fine.

I decided I didn't actually want to meet him or find out where they were holding him.

"That's exactly what he's saying," I match my fingers up to his, smaller and tinier and no way as lethal, and I examine them intently.

A few hours ago, I'd awakened to Adam sound asleep. He was still on top of me, holding on as tightly as he always had. Maybe tighter. He took up most of the bed, and was heavier than I remembered, but all I cared about was that he was here. Despite the fact that everyone knew why he'd come back and could probably guess what had happened next, he'd shown up when it would have been very easy for him to stay in Dauntless and welcome me back when I returned.

"No one else is worried about this? How many bear traps do you think he has? Are those the only traps?"

Adam's questions are endless.

For someone who came from a family where everything was very normal –a careful normal, so careful it was a boring normal, this had to be unfolding like some strange movie. Amity in itself was sort of a mystery; it still held the reputation of being a place where people didn't do much except gulp down peace serum and stare at clouds, but my grandpa had changed that. Harrison being here had made things different. Everyone in Amity was just as happy as before, just a little safer, and less likely to be eaten by a bear.

Still, it must feel weird to lie in a house that sat close to the woods, buried beneath snow, and have no real concerns. In Dauntless, even if we were trapped inside by a snowstorm, the faction would roar into life. There was plenty to be done to keep it moving, but Amity had basically shut down.

"You wanted to move here," I laugh, and he moves his fingers to slide between mine. "I don't know. Enough? How many bear traps is too many?"

Adam looks at me, and his smile is as lazy as this afternoon.

Holly and Paisley had both called to say they couldn't make lunch. I wasn't at all offended, seeing as how the storm was currently spitting snow in every direction it could, and the windows were currently half covered. Even if they didn't live far, trekking over just to eat lunch was more work than necessary.

"I'm sure we'll find out."

I push myself closer to him, pulling the blanket up higher and I focus on trying to watch the movie. He'd picked out some murder mystery. It was entertaining; dry and kind of witty, but ultimately, my eyes close before I can stop them or figure out who had really killed the head of the family.

My mind drifts off, only thinking about how Amity is cold, but safe.

Adam is warmer and safer.

Seeing as how my grandpa had someone he thought was close to Peter, neither of our parents could make it here –and I'm sure my father was cursing the very skies above us as the weather thwarted his plans, and my grandma had given both of us some tea at lunch that I probably shouldn't have consumed, I decide there's absolutely nothing to do, except fall asleep on Adam.

So I do.

* * *

I wake up to a bang.

I sit upright, finding myself woefully alone, in the large room and freezing. The fire has died out completely and the blanket is pushed off me. I kick it back further, trying to clear my head and wake up, when I hear it again.

This time, the bang is right outside the doors leading to the garden and it shakes the house.

My heart lodges itself into my throat, because of course, this must be it. For the first time since coming here, I am truly alone; Adam is nowhere to be found, and neither is anyone else. The prisoner must have escaped, because really, where was he being held? I didn't know of any holding cells in Amity; the closest thing they had were the stables for the horses and a dark closet full of hay feed.

"Hello?"

I call out to no one, hoping someone will reveal themselves and announce they've been making the noise all along. Moving furniture. Rearranging the complicated looking bookshelves crammed with books, journals, and goodness knew what else. Making dinner and something exploded.

"Adam?"

I stop at the large doors leading outside, and my fingers touch the lock. There's a wince of coldness to it, half frozen thanks to the snowstorm, and it's harder to open this time.

"Grandpa?"

I pull the doors open, groaning as the snow hits me in the face. Someone has cleared a path to this door, and my insides clench up when I imagine it was the person wanting to kill me. I mentally tell myself to shut up. Paranoia seemed to be my new personality, and I wasn't really enjoying it.

"Eva! Over here! Get some boots on! You can't do this barefoot!"

The yell comes from right beside the garden, and the blur of people zooming past me to crash right into the side of the house. They hit it hard enough to create the bang I heard earlier, and Woody laughs hysterically as he and Adam both fall off the sled and into the pile of snow.

"They've been at it for an hour. Adam said you were sleeping and he didn't want to wake you up," Forrest is right next to me, and I jump when I realize he's come from nowhere.

"You scared me!" I wrap my arms around myself, wishing I'd grabbed a blanket from the bed. "I thought grandpa said you couldn't sled to your death."

"He changed his mind. We went and saw that jerk and then Dad told us we could, as long as we stayed nearby. We don't have a fancy infirmary like you, so he said the closer we stay to mom, the better."

"You really think Grandma is going to fix your broken neck?" I watch Adam and Woody stand up, carefully in the high snow, and they yank the sled back up. Adam's cheeks are red from both the cold, and the adrenaline pounding activity of sledding, and he waves when he sees me.

"You want to try it?" He gestures for me to come over, and I shake my head no, even though he looks oddly happy. "Eva, go put some pants on! And a jacket!"

"Your boyfriend, or according to Zander, fiancé, wants you to ride with him. Go try it," Forrest nudges me, and I look up at him.

His smile is cheesy; he's grinning at me with a knowing look on his face. There's snow stuck in his hair, and his heavy jacket has a fur collar.

I idly wonder if it's made of bear fur.

"Grandma only gave me dresses to wear. I don't even think she knows what pants are." I cross my arms over my chest and I struggle to fight off a shiver.

I watch as Adam and Woody drag the sled up the hill near the woods. After a second of rearranging themselves, they take off, and they crash right into the house again, spilling into the snow and knocking into each other.

"Fuck, my head." Adam groans, but he's laughing, and he takes Woody's outstretched hand to stand up. "Okay, maybe don't try it Eva. You don't need any more head injuries."

I laugh, because he's not wrong.

"You guys have fun. I'm going back inside where it's warm," I call out, and Forrest nudges me.

"Is it because you're afraid?"

"Of sledding into the house? No, it's because I don't want to wind up cracking my head open this close to dinner." I glance up at him out of the corner of my eye and wait until he looks at me. "You like Adam, don't you?"

"Of course I like him," Forrest leans back against the house and he moves to take off his jacket. "Eva, here. Take my jacket before you freeze."

"No, I'm good. I'm going in," I politely decline his offer, and I move closer to the door. "You don't have to tell me you like him just because you like everyone. I mean, do you like, really like him? You keep coming over and you took him sledding."

"I did," Forrest agrees, and he watches Adam and Woody lug the sled back toward the woods. The snow falls down around them mockingly, not as heavy as before, but definitely not stopping any time soon. "I will admit I was a little worried. I mean, Four's kid, around my niece, showing up in his Dauntless uniform to save the day. It's a little…unimaginative, you know."

"Seriously?" I narrow my eyes, and Forrest smacks me.

"I gotta look out for you. Everly is hoping you marry the guy, and everyone seems to follow along with whatever she thinks. I wanted to make sure he wasn't some dork. Or someone who would get you killed. Even I can admit it's impressive he saved your life. Kinda…romantic if you're into that."

"Yeah, I'm pretty into staying alive," I stare up at my uncle, and he rolls his eyes.

"Funny."

"Oh, so you _like him_ like him?" I watch as Forrest laughs, then yells for Adam to move further to the side so they don't wind up in the main part of the garden. "Is that what you're telling me?"

"I…" Forrest pauses, watching intently as Adam and Woody both stop, and I notice they're talking to someone. Woody points at Forrest, then Adam does, too. "I think he knows what he wants, and that's you. I commend anyone for telling Four off and I commend anyone willing to risk being killed by your father for trying to date you."

"Who is that?" I step closer to Forrest, and once again, paranoia raises its ugly head. "Forrest?"

Forrest is silent as the man follows Adam and Woody, and he waits until they've sat back down on the sled. He watches them intently, his face blurred by the swirling snow, and my heart clenches when he moves to follow them down the hill.

"Forrest?"

He glances back at me to grin and roll his eyes.

"It's Leif. Calm down. You're as jumpy as Everly every time she comes back here."

I can't exactly argue with that, because I am jumpy.

But it calms down when Adam and Woody climb off the sled, finally done with attempting to take the house down. Adam heads straight for me, and his fingers are ice cold.

"You're freezing!" I gasp when his hands find my waist and he walks me back a step. He laughs as he presses his lips to mine, icy and wet, and he lifts me up to walk us back a step into the room. "Did you have fun?"

"Actually, all things considered, yes. Your cousin is pretty fun, though I have a feeling he hangs out with his dad all the time, reinforcing the fact that no one should spend that much time around their parents." He kisses me again, then lets go to my disappointment. "I can't stay long. I told your grandpa I'd help him before dinner."

He barely finishes speaking before someone yells his name, and it's seconded by Forrest's booming voice, calling him back outside.

"I should go." His forehead touches mine, and one of his hands twists the hair falling against it. "I'll be back soon, though."

There is a moment of fleeting, raw jealousy as everyone in Amity seems to want Adam to pay attention to them. It's not a jealousy I'm familiar with, and it's gone in a second and replaced by the warm realization that Adam looks happy. Really and truly happy, as someone yells his name again, then laughs as Woody yells that Adam is going back up the hill with him.

"Have fun," I smile, hating the way he lets go. It seems that now that I've truly experienced what it means to be with someone, in every aspect, I'm having a tough time letting anyone else encroach on my time with him.

Which is dumb.

Adam would return, we'd eat dinner, and fall back into bed.

I could share him for a few minutes, especially considering I had zero plans of venturing out into the darkening storm.

* * *

Dinner in Amity is exactly what one would expect.

I sit squished next to Adam, grateful he was back and even happier that he seemed to have a fun time. He and Forrest and Woody had gone with my grandpa to do something that they swore they couldn't talk about, though Woody looked like he was having a hard time not shouting out where they'd gone. The rest of the table was full of everyone who'd managed to make it over here, in honor of Adam and myself.

Forrest and Willow are here, engaged in an intense discussion over who fed the cows last. Willow hugged me tightly, whispered that she had something for me after dinner, and then resumed her debate with Forrest. Woody and his wife were next, seated right next to us now, and looking absolutely thrilled about this.

Holly and her husband had shown up, and I immediately remembered his name was Rick. Their kids were here too, Ginger and Lyle, both sitting with my grandpa and attempting to feed him mashed potatoes. Wesley and his wife showed up right as we were sitting down. They waved a quick hello, then went to the kitchen to see if they could help. They were much quieter than everyone else and lived the furthest away. Paisley and her husband had shown up last, sitting a few seats away and cheerfully passing around dinner rolls and asking if Adam was enjoying his stay.

He was.

All the stress was gone from him.

I hadn't seen him look this relaxed in a long time, and it wasn't just because my grandma made him whatever dinner he wanted. Everyone around had heard the story of what had happened and how he'd saved my life. He was most certainly the exemplary member of Dauntless, except he was here, in Eden's kitchen, sitting down to eat like everyone else.

It was different than if my father had been here. He was impressive because of who he was and how he carried himself, but Adam had proven just how much he cared about me. He'd taken down someone wanting to hurt me and the faction, and they knew that.

They also knew he was pretty kind, too.

He's spent the day with Forrest and Woody, he'd helped my grandpa, he'd helped my grandma peel all the carrots and then some, and he hadn't blinked an eye. He seemed very much at ease amongst them, and I had this weird nagging feeling that maybe, just maybe, we should have come here.

But the second the mashed potatoes wind up in my hair, I realize my original decision of picking Dauntless was right.

"Thanks Lyle," I mock glare at him through my hair, and I try to wipe the potatoes out of it. Adam laughs at Lyle's pleased grin, but he leans over to try and help me. "You're so cute."

"Thanks!" Lyle chirps, and my grandpa beams.

"Reminds me a lot of Zander, this kid."

"Yeah, well look at Zander now. Dating my best friend and suffering from a man cold," I finish wiping off my hair, and my grandpa has a funny look on his face. "Wait, do you know about Kat? Did he tell you? I thought he told you everything?"

Truthfully, I did.

Zander and my grandpa were extremely close. My mother had told me that Zander called him daily, and if he wasn't trying to impress my father as his second clone, he was trying to make sure my grandpa was proud of him.

"I did, but I didn't know he was sick." He looks over at my grandma, and they appear to be silently communicating with each other. "We'll send him something. He's probably run down."

"Poor Zander," Leif snickers, and he looks entertained. "How will he ever survive having a cold a faction away? Mom, you should probably go there right now."

"Leif," my grandma frowns, and he immediately looks apologetic. "Be nice. That's your little brother. He's going through a rough time right now."

"Sounds like it," Leif answers, looking less apologetic. "Eva, hey you and Adam live in Dauntless. Tell me if this is true or not. I heard everything is open all night long. Like, all the stores and stuff. Zander said no one sleeps. Ever."

"No, people sleep. But everything is open all night. Some of the stores close, but most are open late because the soldiers work late. They work at night, too."

"Interesting," Leif mulls this over, then looks at Adam. "Does your dad like running the faction? I keep hearing that's he's very…stressed."

For a solid thirty seconds, Adam is quiet. I wait for him to tense up at the mention of his dad, because he sort of shrugs and knocks around the carrots on his plate.

"I think…I think he does. He tries really hard. Maybe too hard. Everyone else is sort of laid back with how they oversee it, and he's always on them to keep up on it."

"But not Eva's dad," Leif stares, and his blonde hair is nearly as long as Forrest's. "He's not laid back."

"No, but not much bothers him. It's like, he knows no one can defeat him, so he just…goes with it." Adam returns to stabbing his food, and he flashes a quick grin at me. "He's oddly understanding. You wouldn't think so, but he's pretty down to Earth if you talk to him. I saw him a few days ago and he had a hundred things going on and he wasn't bothered at all."

I stare back, my hair sticky with butter and potatoes, and I realize that Adam was not only not afraid of my father, but they'd talked.

Recently.

"You saw him? When?"

I scoot closer to Adam, because I hadn't even seen my dad in a few days, not since before Rylan took us to Amity.

"Before I came here."

"He knew?" I realize everyone is looking at us like we're nuts, because in Amity, you could date or marry whoever you wanted. I'd heard my grandma had barely batted an eye when my mom married my dad after only being in Dauntless for a few months, and almost all of my grandparent's children had grown up and gotten married immediately.

Even Woody.

But Dauntless was a little different.

There were titles and honor associated with what job you held, and had I decided I wanted to marry some low-ranking soldier who know one knew existed, things would be different. My mother would accept it, but my father would have had some concerns, especially when it came to security related matters.

This was starting to sound like Adam had won the hard-earned approval of my father if my father willingly watched him come here.

"Yeah, I mean, I actually went to see Jason for a minute. Not for the reason you're thinking," Adam answers, his lips turning up as he tries not to laugh. "He was there when I stopped by. We talked, it was…fine. He's not happy you're here."

"Well, he should be," my grandfather interrupts, and I'd half forgotten he was sitting there with Lyle and Ginger on his lap. "You're both safer here than anywhere. In fact, I've decided you'll stay until I conduct my investigation and find Peter. You're both the main witnesses, anyway."

"How long will that take?" I ask, but I'm distracted when Ginger slides off my grandpa's lap to come over by us. She's still little for her age; her hair in pigtails and a big, red bow stuck to each one, and she immediately wiggles in between Adam and me. She looks up at him with wide eyes, tilting her head like she's examining him, then pokes him with one finger.

"Baby!"

"I'm not a baby," Adam dryly remarks, but he's less apprehensive than he was around Ethan and Evan. "You're a baby."

"No, baby!"

Ginger babbles on, and she moves to climb over his leg to sit with him. Her red dress is warm and pretty, and she only has on one shoe.

"Baby!"

She insists, and she leans back, content against Adam.

"Fine, I'll just…eat around you." Adam reaches for his fork, and Ginger kicks off her other shoe.

"Baby!"

"Ginger, leave him alone! Sorry, it's her favorite word. She's very uh, into babies. Our next-door neighbor just had one. It's cute that she's sitting with you, because she's in this phase where she doesn't really like anyone," Holly explains, and she nudges Rick. "We should get a picture of this. Look how happy she is!"

"She does look happy. Normally, she only sits with Harrison," Rick speaks for the first time since he sat down, looking at Adam thoughtfully. "Holly, I don't even know where my phone is. Did you bring yours?"

"I don't think so," Holly shakes her head, and I know this is all my grandpa. No one in Amity had a phone except for a select few, but my grandpa had slowly spread the cell phones through his family like some secret, black market item, if only so he could keep them safe. "That's okay. Maybe next time. It sounds like they'll be here for a while."

"Months," my grandpa declares, and he winks at me.

I smile back, because with all these security threats going on and my father being convinced I'd be kidnapped in broad daylight, my grandpa had actually done it.

I didn't think Adam and I would be leaving for a while, not if my grandpa had his way.

* * *

The next few days pass quickly.

I had thought I might wind up bored in Amity. It seemed like the idea of doing nothing would be better than actually doing nothing, but that wasn't the case at all. I found myself busier than ever, but with enough privacy and alone time that I didn't mind it.

I spent the mornings with my grandma, reading a book or drinking tea, and the afternoons with my grandpa. He taught Adam and I to play a bunch of games, including one about ships and guessing your opponent's coordinates. To the surprise of no one -he was great at it and we were not. We played other ones when the family came over for dinner, braving the snow and cold to come eat with us, and spent the nights by the fire.

We played a game where we tried to figure out who was the murderer in an oversized mansion, and when my grandpa declared it to be too juvenile –he insisted real life murderers don't hang out in the study nor did they use candlesticks, he taught us to play cards. That was a little more intense and just as fun, and we all discovered that my grandmother cleaned house almost every time.

I never wondered if Adam was enjoying himself or was thinking of a way to hitchhike back to Dauntless, because I could tell he was. He got along really well with Woody, and Forrest had taken a strange and magnetic liking to him. Forrest reverted to Lyle's temperament when he insisted Adam sit by him, even knocking Leif out of the way to invite Adam down for a beer. Adam often looked at me, widening his eyes as they fought over who got to sit by him, or near him, and eventually they all lost out to Ginger.

She was one hundred percent in love with him.

The minute she saw him, she ran straight for him. Clinging onto him, making him hold onto her, and she spent most of her time staring at him. She liked to touch his face, pull on his hair, and she screamed when Holly told her Adam had to go to bed and she couldn't stay.

I kept waiting for him to bolt, to have finally had enough of this Amity family, but he didn't.

He was the recipient of pure and total acceptance into a family who thought bears deserved to have pie if they were hungry.

"Are you okay? You're awfully quiet?"

I look up at Adam, awkward from the angle of laying with my head on his chest, and I nod.

We'd gone to bed shortly after my grandpa and Forrest had gotten into a good natured but still heated debate over the best type of squirrel feeders. I'd sunk into cold sheets and immediately reached for Adam, curling myself around him. His hands went to mine, slickly pulling me toward him until I was laying with one hand on his chest and doing nothing but watching the snow fall from the dark sky.

It made the cold, dark rooms of Dauntless seem claustrophobic.

"I was just thinking that this has been really nice."

I crane my head up to look at him, and he turns to look at me. His legs are against mine, and he's warm and solid against me.

"Aside from Ginger trying to steal you away," I laugh as my fingers curl against his bare skin, and I think how lucky it is that no one has bothered us. Once we went to bed, everyone left us alone.

Which had proven to be quite an enjoyable time for me.

"Yeah, well, you've got competition. She's almost the same height as you, same dark hair, and she's also never dressed for the right temperature." Adam's fingers toy with the hair at the nape of my neck, and he shifts to close the imaginary space between us. "And she has a way with words."

I laugh, and I think of Ginger, screaming until her face turned red when Adam tried to untangle himself from her, sobbing 'baby' over and over.

"How can I even compete? Her hair looks way better than mine."

Adam's answer is lost in his laugh, low and warm as he thinks of Ginger's fancy ponytails and numerous hairbows. She'd stuck one in his hair, then shrieked when he took it out.

"Eva…"

"Yeah?" I yawn the word, watching the snow swirl around and around, and I feel myself growing very sleepy. The feeling of Adam beside me combined with the warm comforter and the heavy bedding is making me tired, or maybe it was because we'd been busy since we got up this morning. "Adam are you tired?"

"Actually, yes."

I feel him press his head to mine, kissing the top of my head and tightening his grip on me. The past few nights I'd gone to sleep after gasping his name, but tonight, it's clear we're both too tired to do anything more than this.

"Goodnight."

It's the last thing I hear, and my eyes close, playing tricks on me as I think I see someone wandering through the snowy garden, looking right into this bedroom.


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

After the really fun drama of the last chapter, I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to update this. But I am- because Amber sent this, and it would be unfair not to post it after the work she put into it.

I'd like to reiterate that if you don't like Eva, don't like Adam, don't like that Everly never wore pants (you may want to seek counseling if you've spent FIVE years being triggered by this. She doesn't actually exist and neither do the pants she isn't wearing), or anything about this story in general, I'd suggest finding something else to read. I'm not asking for advice on my characters or plot. If you think Eva is stupid, then by all means go find a story with a smarter character. If you think Adam says Eva's name to much, go find a character than merely grunts at his love interest or stares at the wall. Or better yet, go write your own story and quit reading this one and telling me how much you don't like it. I hope this abundantly clear. It's not meant to be bitchy or rude, but I think people feel like they know me or my writing, and that it's free game for them to tell me what _they_ want me to write.

Thank you to those who reviewed the story & were kind, and for those who were guessing what happens next. Thanks for the messages regarding the story, especially everyone who has been reading since the very beginning. My week has been all over the place, and I appreciate everyone who reached out.

This will be the last update for a few weeks. Thanks for reading along, and I think you'll find the ending satisfactory.

* * *

We don't leave.

At least not in my dream.

I open my eyes to white; white snow built up against the large glass panes, white sheets bunched around my hand firmly grasped in Adam's, and white towels, placed on the nightstand beside the bed. There's a hint of familiarity to it, because in my dream, everything was white, too.

I had stood in the garden with Adam, my nightgown having reshaped itself into something more structured, but white. Adam stood next to me in a white shirt, and together, we looked at white flowers while tiny flakes of white snow drifted down around us. They glittered as they fell, and in my dream, Adam announced we were staying.

His declaration wasn't any sort of surprise. Even my subconscious knew he was enjoying his time in Amity. Other than a few minor stresses that were out of our control, we had nothing to worry about.

So it made sense that my brain would insist he wanted to stay here.

I think it also knew that we couldn't, not without leaving part of our families behind.

I wonder how well that would go over, right as Adam's fingers squeeze mine.

"Did you sleep okay?"

He mumbles the words into the mess that is my hair, and he presses his head closer to mine. His body is warm behind me, and had he not been here, I would have frozen. The fire had long died out during the night, and even with the heavy comforter and blankets, I would have been very much alone in here.

"I did," I tighten my fingers back through his, and I push myself back against his chest.

During the night, he'd taken off his shirt, preferring to be as close to me as possible. It was as though he didn't want anything between us, even though I'd fallen asleep dressed for bed. I sink back and close my eyes when he pulls me closer, angling his arms in.

Adam is safe, too.

Maybe safer than Amity.

"I had a really weird dream though."

I confess this when he nudges me with his nose, and I feel him shift closer. His chest is warm and solid, and I'm tempted to go right back to sleep.

"I swear there was someone in the garden," I half whisper the words, fearing they'll sound ridiculous. No one could have been in the garden last night. Judging by the snow outside the windows, it would have been impossible for someone to camp out there. "I swear I saw someone looking in here before we fell asleep."

"Someone outside? Was it your uncle?"

Adam answers back just as quietly, unwilling to really wake up. It was proving impossible to leave this cozy, sleepy space with just him and me, and solving the mystery of whether or not someone was in the garden was even less appealing.

"I don't know. Maybe?"

The unsettling feeling threatens to push back up, but it falls right back down when Adam pulls me back against him with his arm so he can press his lips to my cheek.

"I think you were dreaming, Coulter. Only your grandpa or your uncle would be brave enough to be outside during a snowstorm."

I smile against him, his hair touching my cheek and my world becomes a blur of him, and the thought of a stranger peering in at us all but falls away.

* * *

I was right.

I sit beside Adam, scooting closer and closer as I stare at the man at the table. My grandmother pauses in the doorway to offer him coffee or tea, but his attention is solely on us.

His eyes are dark blue, but they hold no warmth. They are as cold as the heaps of snow outside, and there isn't much to the smile he throws in my direction. I try to smile back, but it comes out forced, because he seems familiar, though I can't imagine why.

"Thank you so much. You're too kind." The man gratefully accepts the coffee from her, and he flashes a quick grin before he turns away. While I can't be certain he's the man I thought I saw last night, he's here now, and his focus feels oddly specific.

I try to place him.

He's too old to be Peter, but he's strong looking. He'd knocked on the door this morning to announce he was lost, and he quickly explained he'd been sent from Abnegation to see if anyone in Amity could help a few struggling families. "This season has been rough on us. Lots of sick kids, sick adults, and the cycle starts all over. I was thinking maybe Amity could send a few meals their way."

He spoke easily, his tone smooth and even and he moved past my grandmother before she could even answer him.

"You came all the way from Abnegation?" Adam stares at him, and I know he doesn't quite believe him. Adam's fingers flex as he reaches for his fork, and he waits a beat before shaking his head. "I've never seen you there."

"It's a large faction," the man answers, and he hasn't even told us his name. "But I know you. I know your father is from there."

Adam doesn't react right away, not even when I hit his arm on accident.

"Ma'am, where is your husband? Is he close by?" The man's voice changes from the soft, gracious tone it previously held, to something with a hidden bite. I recognize it as the same one my father had when he dealt with some of the men who didn't care to give him information he wanted. "I don't want to intrude…"

"Oh you're no bother," my grandmother smiles, but there's a weird look on her face. She stares at his rumpled coat, the collar damp from the melted snow, and his wrinkled shirt. It's not all grey, but a dark shirt and a tan jacket, and his hair looks choppy, like he'd lopped it off himself. "He's almost back. He went down to make sure the kitchens were running. Something about a furnace that wouldn't turn on."

"I see," he fidgets with the coffee, taking a slow sip. His stare turns back to Adam and me, heavy with pause when he sees my hand on Adam's arm.

"We haven't heard anything from Abnegation. Usually they contact Harrison when they need something. I was certain he'd sent plenty as a preventative measure before the storm hit," my grandmother returns to stand behind him, and in her fingers is the large frying pan she had been washing when he first knocked. Her head tilts as she observes him, and she takes a slow step closer. "Shouldn't they have contacted him if some are in dire need?"

"There's a reason you don't know all the things I know," the man answers carefully, like he's selected these words just for her. "There's a great sense of shame in needing help rather than giving it. It took a lot for them to even ask."

My grandmother steps closer, and her eyes are tight with worry. "I see."

Her words are lost, because he's not even looking at her.

"Adam, right?" His stare is piercing, but Adam isn't bothered. "And Eva? Did I hear that right?"

I don't remember anyone saying my name, so I nod very slowly. For some reason, I don't really want him knowing my name.

Or Adam's.

"You know, I think I'll head down to the kitchen. I'll talk to your husband down there. I hate to intrude upon this family breakfast," the man sets the coffee back on the table, and he hasn't taken a single sip. "You all live here?"

"We're staying for a bit. Just kinda visiting," Adam plays it off casually, and he shrugs. "Why are you here again?"

"How long are you two staying? How can you be here if you don't live here?"

His question is pointed.

"I'll let Harrison know you're looking for him," my grandma interrupts him, and her tone is firm enough that he holds up his hands to show he means no harm. "I'm sure he'll be more than happy to help you out with whatever you need."

He looks at her, the faintest hint of annoyance crossing his features, but he pushes a quick grin at her. "Thank you. Thank you for the hospitality. It was very…kind of you." He rises up, and he towers over the table with an air of uneasy oppression and his eyes find Adam.

He stares in an obvious manner, intensely, as he tightens his coat.

"I'll see you around."

He leaves us sitting at the table, the warmth completely sucked out of the room.

* * *

"I don't like him."

Adam and I walk down to the Dome together, and it's harder than one would imagine.

The snow wasn't forgiving in any way. The air held a sharpness I'd been neglecting in favor of spending my time inside with Adam. The front porch had tricked me into thinking it wasn't that bad outside, but two steps down the stairs told me otherwise.

I was also right that my grandma didn't have any pants. She did have some leggings that were soft and warm and probably once Holly or Paisley's, and she gave me one of my grandpa's shirts and a coat. I pulled my hair up in a bun and grabbed a scarf from by the door, but none of it was enough to keep me from freezing as we walked through the snow.

There was another chill as well.

This one was unspoken, hovering in the air like I expected the man from breakfast to jump out from behind one of the homes and attack.

I keep looking ahead, waiting to see footprints or tracks or something to show that the man had come this way, but there was nothing. It looked like a few members of Amity had come out to clear the main path the best they could. The main pathway was flattened and the snow had been shoved aside, but it was still snowing, and it was sticking.

There were no footprints, though.

"The guy from breakfast?" Adam walks a step ahead, his stride faster than mine, and I refuse to fall behind.

"I thought he was really creepy and weird. And I'm pretty sure I saw him last night. I think he was the one outside the garden." I wipe snowflakes out of my eyes, and Adam looks down at me with one very intense gaze.

I'd seen a lot of looks from him lately, but this isn't a new one.

He thought I was nuts.

"You really think he was outside all night? He would have frozen to death," Adam answers, and he takes my hand in his. My grandma had given us mittens, but they did little to ward off the cold. I miss the feeling of his actual hand and not the thick fabric, so I hold onto him tightly, stepping carefully over the slick path. "Not to mention he risked getting stuck in a bear trap. Or…scare trap."

"He knew our names and we don't know his," I try to reason logically, but Adam shrugs it off. "I know you think I'm crazy. But I never told him my name."

"I don't think you're crazy!" His protest brings his stare back to me, and his eyes are patient. "I think maybe you were dreaming. We did forget to close the curtains, but it was storming. Even if someone was in the garden, they wouldn't stay long. He definitely couldn't get in, either."

"But our names…" I tighten my grip on his hand when we turn right at the fork in the path, and the Dome looms up ahead. "He knew yours and mine."

"Well, my parents are from there." Adam sounds like he's trying to reassure me, and I realize he doesn't think this man is weird at all. "People from Abnegation are strange. Asking for help is like, an unforgivable sin. He probably got voted to come here and didn't want to." Adam stops, and smiles widely at me. "Who cares, anyway? We aren't going to Abnegation and he'll probably leave once he gets whatever he came for. I'm sure he felt just as weird as we did."

"Okay," I agree, but I don't.

In fact, I don't think the man was even from Abnegation at all.

I'd gone with my father a few times. My father and Rylan occasionally dropped by to see them and check up on things. Rylan adored Adam's grandma more than anything in the world, and often was the first one to volunteer to go, even insisting he'd drive.

Even if going to see her wasn't on his agenda.

But every time we'd gone, even with Rylan leading the way straight to Natalie Prior, the faction had been quiet. The houses were quiet. The people were quiet. Their clothes were grey, a blur of no color, and while they were nice, they were too nice. It gave me the creeps, because I just wanted someone to cause some commotion or laugh or do something to make some noise.

In all my times visiting, I'd never seen anyone like this man.

Everyone in Abnegation had neat hair. Neat and clean clothes. Nothing special, but most definitely grey.

I make the decision that I will borrow someone's phone and call my father. Because if someone was lurking around Amity and pretending to be from another faction, then he should know. He might not be able to get here, but he undoubtably had men who could.

"Should we go to the kitchens first? You think your grandpa's in there?" Adam breaks my train of thought, and I nod when he points toward the looming structure.

"The door to the kitchens is this way," I lead him around to the side of the Dome, and through a door leading toward the back. We walk quietly, his fingers wound through mine, until we find my grandpa, surrounded by members of Amity.

* * *

"Did someone come find you?"

I sit on the counter while Adam chops vegetables with far more enthusiasm than necessary. My grandpa stands beside him, wiping a large butcher cleaver on a cloth and occasionally nodding at whoever came up to him with a worried look on their face.

He sent them away immediately, then patiently waited until they weren't around to tell us this wasn't his favorite part of the day. Amity abhorred violence, and they tried to avoid killing their animals for food, but that didn't mean the other factions didn't want meat to eat.

"No. Was someone looking for me?"

My grandpa looks at me, waving the knife around as someone sneaks past with a bowl of grains. They were working on making a dinner tonight for anyone who needed it, because most of Amity was snowed in. They were all hoping the snow would let up, and the word had quickly spready that if it did, dinner would be served.

Which meant the volunteers in here were numerous, and the kitchen was busy and warm.

I liked it.

We garner a few smiles as a guy close to our age stops to show my grandpa the plate of pastries he's made, and my grandfather gives him a glowing review.

Then he turns to me, and sighs.

Exaggeratedly.

"Do you two like scones? He's about to go make nine dozen more. There won't be nine dozen people here tonight if it doesn't stop snowing." He pauses to make sure the guy is far enough away, and he shakes his head. "Courtney's nephew. Nice kid. Great baker. Needs constant reassurance he's doing great. I don't have time to reassure him of such a thing."

"Does he need it from everyone?" Adam looks up, and he's swarmed by a group of people coming to collect the vegetables. They take them from him in one sweep, then dump a pile of new ones for him to cut up. "Or just you?"

"Just me. He drops stuff off for Eden and me all the time, then wants to know how it was. What feelings did it conjure up as we ate it? You know what else I don't have time for? Writing a food blog for him," my grandpa scowls, but he stops when Courtney's nephew waves to him from across the kitchen. "Good guy though. If he ever gets married, his wife will never starve."

My grandpa waves back, then turns to me.

His cheerful expression falters, and in its place is careful concern as he wipes off the butcher knife without looking.

"Now tell me just exactly who was in my house this morning."

* * *

"How old are you now, Eva?"

Courtney's nephew sits right next to me, so close that his leg is against mine. I want to gently push him away just so I have some space to breathe, but I can't. He's tall, nearly as tall as Adam, and he sort of looks like Adam. They're both equally fit for different reasons, though Adam has better hair.

Alex's hair is short for living in Amity, but long hair probably got in the way of his baking.

"Eighteen. How uh, how old are you?"

I try to politely scoot away from him, not because he's mean or creepy or weird. He's the very definition of nice. So nice that he's missing the fact that I don't want him to sit so close, and so nice that he's missing the way Adam is staring at him like he'd like to shove the plate of scones right down his throat.

"Twenty. It's so weird to see you here. You know, my aunt always talks about how much she missed having your mom here when I was younger. Would have been kind of cool to grow up together, don't you think? Best friends ending up together. It's like a story just waiting to happen."

Alex smiles, large brown eyes lingering over my mouth, and I feel Adam sit up straighter.

"Your mom and my aunt were great friends. She said she felt awful that your mom didn't get to come to her wedding. But uh, I was thinking if you're staying, maybe we could hang out. Get to know each other. Everyone always talks about you…and uh, how pretty you are."

Adam takes a sip of his tea with slow, burning hatred for Alex. I can see it in the way he swallows, like his jaw hurts.

"You are pretty. I hope that's not too forward, it's just…you know, everyone in Amity is… they're all thrilled you're here. They've been talking that you might not go back. I just wanted to get to you first." Alex keeps talking, slowly moving the mountain of dessert toward me, and I shake my head no.

"Thank you so much, Alex. It's so good to see you, too. The dessert looks great, but I really should eat lunch first," I smile brightly, hoping he won't be insulted.

But he is.

His smiles dulls just enough that I know I've hurt his very fragile feelings, and even worse, his hopes that I'd be won over by the plate of sugary, over-sized scones dripping with some sort of chocolate sauce.

"I um, I…." I pause as he manages to scoot closer, and I throw him one blinding smile. "I'd like to introduce you to Adam. He's my…." I stop, because I don't have an actual title for him. Friend is a little informal, given I'd confessed that I'd been in love with him and refused to admit it in case he didn't feel the same way. Lover sounded gross, and like something Rylan would dramatically gasp in a strange accent while winking. Boyfriend felt premature, though it was more accurate than fiancé.

Person I'd slept with might get my point across, but I wasn't sure we were at the level of just announcing that to someone we just met.

"Adam. I'm with Eva. We _did _grow up together, and we'll be returning to Dauntless together as well."

Adam sticks his hand out to Alex, and Alex's eyes lose a little more of his burning hope as he shakes Adam's hand with all the enthusiasm he can muster.

It's not much.

"Oh, you're…Adam? Are you her brother?"

"Hardly," Adam answers dryly, and I have to focus on drinking the tea my grandpa had given us so I don't laugh. "I came to Amity to get Eva. So, therefore she'll be going back with me."

"Therefore. Wow, you're fancy in Dauntless. But uh, does she want to go back? Did you even ask her?" Alex leans away from me, but only so he can really look at Adam. "Are you, like a cousin? I know she has a lot of cousins..."

"He's my…"

"She wants to go back," Adam insists, and he scoots closer to me. He moves himself a whole inch over, and I'm suddenly in the middle of them pretending they aren't glaring at each other. "You don't even know her."

"I literally just said that," Alex points out, and he pulls back his plate of scones so Adam can't have any. "I said I wanted to get to know her. Look, last I heard, Eva was refusing to marry some guy from Dauntless. Told everyone she was never getting married. Was that you? Because I'm thinking it was you."

Alex looks at Adam with the faintest hint of polite triumph, and there's an inkling of smugness beneath his smile.

He knows he's not wrong.

My words from weeks ago come back to haunt me, as I'm reminded that I had vehemently denied ever wanting to marry anyone.

It was true.

At the time, I was so mortified by everyone being in my business that I could barely admit how I felt. Marriage felt like an impossible concept, something that should be reserved for a time when I wasn't eighteen and didn't have everyone waiting to see if I got married. It wasn't that I wanted to turn around and marry Adam today, but it felt insulting to him considering he'd told me he loved me.

"No, that was another Adam," Adam shrugs dismissively, and his hand finds my ribs. His fingers curl around, and he pulls me closer to him without looking away from Alex. "I'm sure there are plenty of girls here just dying to get to know you. And your muffins."

"They're scones…" Alex answers darkly, strangely annoyed for someone from Amity, and he stands up slowly. "Hey, uh Eva, it was nice talking to you. Adam, it was…great to meet you. I hope you both enjoy your stay here. I'll tell my aunt you said hi."

"Please do." I watch as he picks up his dessert and leaves, pausing at the very edge of the serving line to glance back. He looks right at me, ignoring Adam altogether, and the look on his face is total confusion.

"Well that was incredibly awkward," I lean against Adam, and he snorts in response as we watch Alex head back into the kitchen.

"He just really wanted you to eat his scones." He leans forward to rest his head against mine, and I hear him sigh. "I do want to know what you were going to say. I think Alex and I both deserve to know the answer to who I am..."

"Oh well, if that's the case," I smile, and I take his hand in mine. "I was going to say…." I wait for a second, and I feel him smile against my hair. "Next door neighbor. I mean, you can't get closer than that."

"The pinnacle of all relationship goals," he laughs, huffing in mock amusement as my grandpa arrives with lunch.

Alex is long forgotten as he sits down with us, sharing a riveting tale about how he's so sure someone is stealing all the ice cream out of his personal freezer.

He's also forgotten much later, when Adam hovers over me, his mouth attacking my neck with a vengeance I don't remember him having, until I'm whimpering his name over and over into the dark and snowy night.

* * *

The next few days are gone in the blink of an eye.

I almost forget that we're only in Amity because the threat of death is hanging over us. It's easy to be fully immersed in this world, and Dauntless grows to feel like a fuzzy memory, like something that's not real.

It feels very real when I trek upstairs, and open the door to a room I hadn't spent much time in. My grandma sends me into my mother's old bedroom with an armful of laundry and I realize half the clothes I've been given were my mother's. I stand in front of her closet, and I'm hit with the reeling sensation of missing her so much that I almost can't move.

Everything in here reminds me of her.

The pretty, pastel fabrics. The few darker dresses that don't quite fit in with the rest. Boots and shoes in her size, a single lone jacket that's fallen to the floor, and the mirror with flowers stuck all over it, glued in place so they wouldn't move. Her name written on a card, in twirly, spiraling handwriting as someone wishes her a happy birthday.

The feeling of homesickness is like a punch to the stomach; gone just as quickly as it came, and I shove the dresses back into the closet and shut the doors so I don't stare at the pink fabric any longer.

I close the door behind me, but I pause at the top of the stairs, feeling the faint ghost of her, like she'd stood in this very spot countless times, feeling homesick for a place that didn't feel real.

* * *

The snow falls for another day or two, stops, then picks up right before dinner.

Adam and I stand on the porch, watching the last few light snowflakes get pulverized by the heavier ones. They lose the fight immediately, getting crushed into the white snow below them and vanishing.

"Are you cold?"

Adam looks down at me and I look up at him.

His cheeks are red from the chilly air, but I flash back to them being red for another reason.

In the strange and unending transition between becoming an official member of Dauntless and being trapped in Amity, things had shifted. More than shifted, actually. I had left Dauntless an entirely different version of myself. An Eva who was deathly afraid of being alone, deathly afraid that my father's prediction that I would die if I was alone would come true, and deathly afraid that no one would ever look at me the way Adam did.

Here, in my grandparent's house and a faction of slow, unhurried pace, I'd found the painful growth I needed. There were no intense godfathers to save the day. No parents keeping tabs, no uncles scoring anything, and no security team tracking my every move.

Amity felt wild. Raw. Like this was the final act of our initiation, one that couldn't happen back in Dauntless. While I might have feared for my death, for Jeremy had taught me that danger wasn't exactly going to announce its arrival, I was no longer afraid of being without my father. I'd long thought I'd never break away from him, nor did I want to, but I was learning I was capable of way more than I thought.

Including loving someone.

That hadn't been any easy realization. It was a dumb one, because it wasn't one I needed to worry about. I was capable of love, I just hadn't thought I'd ever be on the receiving end of it, and I'd never have a reason to love anyone other than my family. I'd assumed I'd never get the chance to love someone. To feel my heart skip a beat in their presence, or my chest tighten like I couldn't breathe.

I figured I'd find it some day in the far future, when I was more sure of who I was, and less focused on being alone.

But I was wrong.

So wrong.

Adam was right there, right in front of me, giving me what I'd wanted all along.

It had happened to him, too.

The shift, unavoidable and utterly unexpected, but very much occurring.

Even though he'd started initiation the same Adam as before, he seemed so much more than the Adam I knew. He was stronger. Faster. Braver. Willing to risk his life for me, fearless in the pursuit of what he wanted.

But it went beyond the superficial changes that we could see. There was a real happiness beneath the smiles thrown in my direction, and a genuine appreciation of our time together. Not that he didn't appreciate it before, but it was entirely different to sit on a ledge and grudgingly tell each other to have a good year, than to lie beneath him, watching his entire body tense up and contract as he groaned my name and curled his fingers into mine.

He seemed desperate for the same connection I wanted; something intangible, but very much burning between us.

It was sort of intoxicating.

I could almost forget about myself and focus only on him, watching the way his eyes screwed shut or the muscles in his shoulders seemed to constrict. I liked the feeling of his bare legs against mine, his warm palm on my stomach, sliding down lower, until I sighed his name, or giggled it, dropping my head back as the warm rush of bliss washed over me. Even then, I liked to force my eyes open just to catch a glimpse of him, his hair falling onto his face, or the sharpness of his jaw softening when he realized he was doing a great job at getting me off.

It was nearly impossible to explain and I couldn't even begin to untangle any of it. The closeness I felt to him, and only him, and the drunken euphoria being with him brought. The heavy wave of exhaustion that our nights culminated in, as warm hands sought to pull me back to him, like it would never be enough.

It was entirely ours and ours alone, and each second that passed only strengthened what we had.

We'd return to Dauntless as Adam and Eva, but not the same Adam and Eva who left.

"Do you want to go inside?"

I crane my head up to look at him, his features sharper and more handsome than ever, and I shake my head no. It still felt unreal that he'd choose me, almost like maybe he didn't have a choice, but he did. He'd always had a choice, and it wasn't just because he thought I was pretty.

He liked me for me, and he told me this often. Mumbling it against the skin of my shoulder, my neck, or my temple, groaning it as he came, his whole body tense and tight and pushed to the limit of how good he could feel.

"Okay, good. I was going to give you my jacket." Adam steps closer, and when he's right by my side, he wraps his arms around me. He stays silent as I wrap my arms around him, wiggling my way as close as I can possibly get.

"Thank you," I rest my head against his chest, his jacket discarded because the porch is warm, and we stay this way for a long time.

My mother once told me she hated letting go of hugging my father. At the time I'd rolled my eyes at her, not really caring that she liked to grasp onto him like her life depended on it, but I was realizing it wasn't always about her.

My father needed someone to hold onto him, and he would die before ever admitting that he liked it when my mother refused to let go.

I feel the same way now.

I hold onto Adam tightly, watching the snow fall in the front yard, neither of us able to let go.

* * *

"Absolutely not."

A few hours later, Adam and I sit on the couch with our feet propped up, and Holly pauses to hand us each a mug of hot chocolate. To the side of me is my mother, holding Lyle and showing him all the things on her phone. Ginger sits with Adam, demanding his full attention while he tries to drink both his hot chocolate and hers, and across from them, is my father.

Sitting there with one very unimpressed look on his face.

"Harrison, it's not Peter. You said you'd catch Peter, and you haven't. I have complete faith you will, but I'm not leaving Eva and Adam here any longer. They should return to Dauntless tonight." My father speaks quickly, ignoring Rick nearly tripping over his feet, then spinning around awkwardly to see if he should take the risk of sitting by my father.

Rick takes in the loathing sneer on his face, then wisely chooses to go sit by the fireplace.

"There's another storm coming tonight. Eva and Adam stay here," my grandfather answers casually, sipping his tea and gesturing for Rick to add more wood to the fire. "Rick, toss another one on there. In fact, you and Everly should probably head back now. Before you're stuck here. I don't have any extra bedrooms unless you want to sleep in Everly's childhood bed."

"Harrison," my father sighs, and he looks at my mother for help.

She's isn't much help.

She holds Lyle up, making him laugh as she makes a face at him.

"Everly!"

"What?" She peeks around Lyle to look at my father, and she shakes her head. "He's not wrong. Jason told you it's going to be a bad storm. It's predicated to last all week. You pulled all the soldiers off the patrols yourself."

"So, you have no one securing the faction?" my grandpa takes this in and leans back to look down at my father. "Then absolutely not will Eva return. Neither will Adam. No security, no way."

"We have security!" My father answers hotly, and he looks mad enough that he might smash something. "We have plenty of security. But you've kept Eva here for…"

"They've only been here a couple of days," my grandmother cheerfully lies, and she sits on the arm of my grandpa's chair. "Harrison hasn't even started his investigation yet. Eva and Adam are the main witnesses. You agreed when you left the first time."

My father groans as my grandmother reminds him of something he doesn't want her to. He shuts his eyes tightly, and I watch as he presses on his temples in an attempt to ward off his headache.

They'd shown up right after dinner.

I was completely surprised to see them, but unsurprised to find that it felt like they were from another world. My father stomped in in his full uniform, shaking snow from his hair and glancing around suspiciously. My mother followed, dressed in snow boots and a sundress, but at the very least she had on a uniform jacket.

They both froze when they realized we were all eating dinner, and their presence seemed intrusive.

It wasn't really.

But it felt like it.

I stood up to hug them both, crushed against my father's chest and hugged as tightly as possible by my mother. My father held onto me so firmly I thought for sure he might just drag me to the truck, but he didn't. He only let go when my grandmother called his name, then he went to say hello to Adam.

My mother and I both watched him as though this whole scene was a dream, because he was ignoring my grandma. He waved off her request to take off his snow-covered boots, and instead bent down and whispered something to Adam. Adam nodded, my father sort of patted Adam on the arm and then asked if my grandpa could talk for a few minutes.

My grandfather immediately refused.

It was clear they'd come to bring us back to Dauntless. I understood their concern, but I was finding that I didn't really want to leave, and neither did Adam.

"My jurisdiction, my witnesses. You'll have them back next week." Grandpa crosses his arms and looks smug as my mother shrugs and continues to play with Lyle. "Everly, you look nice. It's good to see you."

He pauses, and my father makes a grunting sound in disagreement.

"Eric, you don't think she looks nice? You're sitting there looking madder than when Max made you let someone else train Everly."

"She does look nice. If we weren't in the middle of a blizzard." My father's words are sullen, and he sulks against the couch. "I told her it was cold outside."

"Eric, I told you, I couldn't find any pants. I think Carol threw them all out. She told me she doesn't like pants, either." My mother looks over at Adam and me, and she smiles. "I even looked in Eva's room. Not a single pair of pants anywhere."

"Well, that's good. In a week's time, my whole family will die of hypothermia and I'll live out the rest of my days in Dauntless alone because no one checks Jason's weather app or dresses accordingly," my father dryly retorts, and he makes a face when Ginger hops off Adam's lap to wander over to him. She looks back at Adam, apologetically, then raises her arms for my father to pick her up. "No."

"ERIC!"

Everyone in the room says his name, and he scowls even deeper as he reaches down to pick up Ginger. She squeals in delight as he picks her up, still only one shoe on, and no tights, either. She settles against him, then reaches for his arm and tries to take off his watch.

"Don't be stupid. You won't die alone. No one is dying from not wearing pants or any other reason. Except for Peter. He'll be dead soon."

My grandpa's words hover in the air between everyone, and Rick tries to appear very interested in the fire. "Uh, who's dying? Who is Peter? Ginger hates pants, too. Refuses to wear anything under the dresses."

"Everly, I need to tell you something," Holly whispers, but she's about as subtle as my grandpa with her plans. "It's um, important. Maybe we should go outside."

"Everly goes not need to go outside. She barely has clothes on!" My father barks over Ginger, trying to hold his arm up so she can't reach his watch. Ginger responds by shrieking, then yanking on his jacket collar.

"I have clothes on. Focus on your niece over there." My mother responds sweetly, then stands up with Holly. "We can go upstairs. Zander asked me to grab him a shirt anyway."

"My niece?" my father mutters, but he relents, giving Ginger his arm where she immediately returns to undoing his watch. "I forgot we're related. At least you have an interest in technology."

"She also likes Adam," Rick offers, and he's still by the fire. He's so close I'm surprised his shirt hasn't ignited. "She sat with him the other night. Wouldn't leave him alone."

"She definitely wouldn't leave me alone. She kept saying…baby…every time she came by me," Adam nudges my arm and I can't help but crack up.

"She's madly in love with Adam. I'm surprised she left him to go sit over there," I elbow him back, and I take a drink of the hot chocolate. "Dad, how did you even get here? Everything is covered in snow."

"We have a few trucks we use to plow the roads. The team was working all day, so we decided to come by and get you. I'm sure you've both had your fill of Amity. Plus your friends miss you. The French one was in my office this morning, asking if you would be back soon."

He looks smug when he says the last part, but both Adam and I stay quiet. The whole room is quiet, even my grandpa.

I stare at my hot chocolate, and Adam stares at his.

"Eva? You guys…don't you guys want to come back to Dauntless?"

My father's voice is strained. It's full of disbelief, like he was so sure we'd jump on the first chance out of here that we could.

"Adam?

Adam and I look at my father first, then each other, and his eyes search mine.

His answer is a big, fat no.

He doesn't want to leave, and I slowly realize neither do I.

Not yet.

"I think we should stay until Peter is found. We really haven't gotten to talk to Grandpa about anything that happened. I thought maybe we could go back to where Jeremy was." I make this decision for the both of us, figuring the worst my father could do was launch Ginger back at Rick and demand we leave this very instant.

But if my grandpa had anything to say about that, and he did, it wouldn't be happening.

"Then come back tonight. You can both be questioned in Dauntless. Harrison, you can come too. I'll drive you there myself."

"You're exceeding your jurisdiction, Eric. And if I recall, you were big on pointing out when someone overstepped the boundaries." My grandpa sips his coffee slowly, and he's unbothered as ever. "They spend another week here. If I have to, I'll get Kang involved. He lives for this drama and he's had none lately."

My father narrows his eyes.

He looks around, trying to see if my mother can help him, but she's slipped out with Holly.

"You're sure you can keep them safe? How can you be so certain?"

"You dare question my ability to keep them safe?" My grandfather's insult is clear as day, and he full on glares at my father. "I kept you safe for years. You would have wound up dead from your own arrogance had I not looked out for you."

"No, I wouldn't have," my father rolls his eyes, and he sinks further down in the chair as this conversation does not go the way he's hoping. "Adam, you don't want to go back? Eat some real food? Something other than….a salad and some weird vegetables?"

Adam smartly looks up at the ceiling, pretending to be thinking this over. My grandmother waits for this answer as well, though she looks much more patient.

Too bad Adam's answer doesn't make my father any happier.

"I think maybe we should stay, just until they have an idea of what happened in the woods. They could be watching to see why they haven't seen us around Dauntless. And actually, Eden made us chicken fingers tonight. They were really good. She made macaroni and cheese, too. So, I agree with Eva."

"Wonderful."

My father mutters the word, and he gives up on life when Ginger pulls on his face to look at him. He stares down at her, his eyes wide and unimpressed as she places one sticky hand on each of his cheeks and leans in.

"Do you want me to get her?" Rick asks from his spot near the fireplace, sounding as nervous as he should be. There was a high chance my father would launch Ginger back at him, or into the fire place, niece or not. "She must like your uniform. She seems to like the color black."

It's the best reason he can come up with for why Ginger would like the scowling man currently holding her, but my father shakes his head. He smiles slightly, just enough that his lips turn up, and Ginger throws her arms around him and more or less slobbers all over his cheek in an attempt to kiss him.

"Ginger!" Rick is rightfully horrified, but she pays no attention to her dad.

"It's fine. This is fine. She's just…drooling on me."

My father's answer is drowned out by the return of my mother and Holly, laughing as they walk through the living room.

The conversation changes from my father trying to take Adam and me back to Dauntless, to Holly's upcoming birthday, and just like that, my father loses out to my grandpa for the second time.

It becomes crystal clear that despite my father's wishes, we aren't leaving Amity.

At least not tonight.

* * *

"Are you sure you don't want to come back? I can take you both. Harrison can't stop me."

My father stands next to the bed, examining the guest room suspiciously. His hair is messed up from Ginger, not quite as neat as it had been when he first arrived, and visibly disheveled. Ginger liked him just as much as she liked Adam; she stayed with him until she fell asleep, then sobbed when Rick woke her up by trying to move her from him.

My father had smirked, but he looked relieved when she was off his lap and safely back in her father's arms.

He looks less relieved now, as he steps further into the room like it's a trap, and glances around furtively.

"Eva?"

"No, I'm okay. I really think we should talk to grandpa about Jeremy. I think we can help find Peter." I answer him from my spot on the bed, curling my feet beneath me and wondering if he was really returning to Dauntless without us. "It might help them find him."

"What have you been doing all week? Why hasn't he talked to you already?" My dad sounds grouchy, and his fingers touch the light switch. "He's had days…"

"We've been busy," I answer quickly, trying to think of something I could tell him we'd been doing. Explaining that we'd mostly been in bed probably wouldn't go over well, and neither would telling him that board games won out over talking about strange men in the woods. "It's been nice to catch up with Grandma."

"I see."

He's distracted by the bathroom door, and his eyes go back and forth between the door, and me.

"Where's Adam?"

"I think he's taking a shower," I watch his face make a funny grimace, but I'm saved by my mother appearing. Her arms are full of Zander's clothes, and she stops by my father and gestures for him to take them. "Is that all for Zander?"

"Yeah, he said his shirts keep disappearing. When he heard we were coming by, he asked if I could bring some back." My mother looks around the room and smiles widely. "Hey this is nice! I like it in here. It's much nicer than where we stayed."

My father is silent.

He stands behind her, looking around the room and then finally at me. There's an air of resignation to him, like he's realized we aren't leaving with him and there's really nothing he can do about it.

Some betrayal is there, too.

"You're sure you want to stay? I didn't like this idea the first time, and I don't like it now."

"I know. But we'll be fine, I promise," I rise up from the bed, smiling as he continues to scowl around Zander's million shirts. "We'll be back in a week. We can celebrate the end of our initiation then. Is it over yet?"

"Basically," my mother answers for him, and she hugs me tightly. "I miss you so much, but I'm glad you're staying. I think you guys deserve some time away from Dauntless."

"It'll go by super quick. I think we'll both be glad to go home then. Hey, I wanted to ask you," I pause, making sure Adam is still taking a shower. "How's Tris? She knows Adam is here, doesn't she?"

My mother touches my hair, smoothing it down and smiling brightly. "Yeah, she does. She's…really happy. She said he had no hesitation in coming back for you."

"And Four?" I untangle myself from her, and I hug my father the best I can. He tries to hold on, but he loses out to my grandma yelling that she has more clothes for Zander. "Is he good?"

My mother looks at me, then my father, then smiles smugly.

"He's…busy. He's covering a lot since we left, but he's good."

"Wonderful. That's all that matters in life, that Four is good." my father dryly comments, and he reaches for my mother's hand. "Eva, enjoy your stay. I'll be back in a week to get you. Don't let Harrison trick you into wanting to live here. In the summer, there's alligators in the lake."

"Eric, there are not," my mother smacks him, and he smirks at her attempt to shut him up. "We'll see you soon. You guys be good."

"I'll miss you both!" I cheerfully wave as they turn to leave, and I watch them head down the hallway. My mother turns back to smile again, and I have a feeling she knows exactly what's been happening here.

She turns to follow my father, and she asks if he has her cell phone.

I shake my head, and I know for a fact that in a few minutes, so will Tris.

* * *

A few days later, the Dome is freezing.

I stand at the end of the serving line, patiently waiting for my grandpa to appear. I wasn't here to eat, but to find Adam and my grandpa. I'd gotten here right as the dinner line was dying down, and everyone was pretty content with their evening. The snow had stopped, the sun had even come out for a few measly hours, and it felt marginally warmer than it had.

Until you got outside.

But it wasn't bad. Holly brought me a bunch of leggings, and loaned me warmer shirts, and the walk here was manageable. She'd given me a pair of boots that were just a little big, and the laces refused to stay tied. I swore at the fact that Adam had gone before me, accompanying Woody and Forrest on some secret errand, when I nearly broke my ankle and died in a snow bank without anyone around to witness such an event.

My stomach had dropped when I slipped on some ice, and it drops that very same way now, when I find Adam talking to the man who was at my grandparent's house a few days ago.

Shit.

"Adam!"

I say his name loudly, trying to hurry past the people milling around to turn their plates in. He's just far enough away that it takes me longer than I'd like to get to him, and I nearly get taken out by a family of six, all vying to get dessert before anyone else.

"Hey! I've been looking for you!" I come to a screeching halt as I make it around the corner, and they both turn to look at me. "Adam! I need you!"

"You okay Eva?" Adam smiles at me, and so does our guest.

Except his is pretty frosty.

His stare is the same.

He drags it away from Adam to look at me with complete contempt.

"Hey, sorry I didn't come and get you. I was helping your grandpa and then I ran into…"

"Marcus."

The man says his name friendly enough, but it's not friendly in any way. He looks annoyed by my presence, his gaze sweeping me up and down, then he forces a nicer expression back onto his face.

"Eva Coulter. How nice it is to see you again."

He sounds anything but thrilled to see me.

"I was just asking Adam if he could help me for a few minutes. Amity is normally big on helping others, but they're all busy this evening."

My heart nearly stops. I feel it clench up painfully, because there was no way he should know my last name. I doubt Adam would have told him, and I especially doubt my grandpa would have announced it.

Everything around me grows hot and fuzzy as Marcus leans over to talk to Adam. He keeps his tone low, carefully excluding me, then gestures outside. Adam nods at him, then takes a step to follow him. "Be right back, Eva."

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

"Adam, wait I need your help!"

I follow him immediately, grasping his hand in mine to stop him, but he looks down at me in surprise.

"Can you give me like ten minutes? I told Marcus I'd help him carry a few meals to some people outside. They're the ones he told us about." Adam takes my hand in his, and his fingers tighten for a moment. "Actually, why don't you help us? I guess there's only a few of them, but if you help, we can take the boxes all at once."

"Okay," I agree immediately, but I'm panicking.

I don't know why this man evokes such a violent reaction in me, but he does. My stomach has knotted itself up so tightly I could throw up, and it's hard to breathe normally. It was a pretty extreme reaction to a man I'd only met a few days ago.

"Marcus was just telling me about uh, my dad and his life back in Abnegation."

Adam keeps talking, and I realize I'm not even carrying anything. As if on cue, Marcus shoves a box in my hands, and I wince at the cold weather and the heavy weight hitting my chest. I glance around to see if anyone is out here, but there's no one.

Just cold piles of snow, and a low groan as the trees rustle.

"You're…you're Adam's grandfather?" I try to step carefully, still hoping someone is out here. Even Alex. But there's no one, only the fading sun struggling to stay lit.

"I am. I was just telling Adam the struggles I had raising him. It's no surprise to me that he wasn't the greatest father." Marcus speaks easily, and he's a step ahead. He pauses to make sure we're following him, and I realize he's leading us behind the Dome.

Into the woods.

The deja vu is terrifying.

This was bad.

Very bad.

I hadn't really heard anything about Four's father, which made his appearance all the more concerning. Usually my father would have at least cracked a joke or two, but he'd never even mentioned him before.

At least not that I remember.

All of this meant this was going to get bad, really fast. I glance around furiously, trying not to scream as Marcus leads us outside, further away from where everyone is.

This was my fault.

I should have called my father, and I'd forgotten. I'd been too distracted by the warm bubble of happiness that I completely forgot someone had shown up to my grandparent's house and knew my name. I'd forgotten how I immediately felt weird around him, and how he'd made me incredibly uneasy.

Now, we were both going to pay for this mistake.

I try to think fast, but it's impossible.

"Hey, uh Adam, can I borrow your jacket? I'm freezing and this one isn't very warm," I blurt out, watching the back of his head turn to look at me. He smiles as he stops to shrug off the heavy coat he has on. He hands it to me, and I struggle to grasp it around the box. "Thank you."

I stop to put it on, and Marcus' expression isn't pleased.

"We need to keep going. Some of them haven't eaten in days."

His tone is surprisingly impatient for someone from Abnegation, and for a minute, I hope he's really taking us to bring these boxes to a family in need. But I have a feeling he isn't. There's no way a family is living in the woods, or even waiting in the woods.

"Eva, can you hurry?" Marcus looms over me, and when I look up, all I see is his face and a cloudless sky.

"Give her a second. She's coming," Adam looks at Marcus in confusion, and Marcus realizes his tone was a mistake. His face slips back into something more pleasant, and he nods.

"My apologies. I just don't want to keep them waiting."

"I'll be right behind you. I've got to tie my shoe," I set the box down, and slide the coat on quickly. I crouch down to fumble with the laces on the boots Holly had given me, and I lose out to the cold snowy laces and numb fingers.

"Okay," Adam agrees, and he takes another step forward. Marcus is pacified by this, and they take off together, lowly discussing Adam's father.

"Shit." I forget about the lace, and I glance up as I frantically search the jacket pocket for Adam's phone.

I didn't have mine, but there was a chance Adam had his. My fingers find the cold plastic in the coat, and I silently rejoice. I know I don't have long, maybe only a few more seconds, so I swipe up from the bottom and pray the phone unlocks.

It does.

I keep one eye on Marcus and Adam, now a few feet away as they trudge onto an unpaved pathway, and I click on contacts. Marcus' head moves to turn back to see what I'm doing, but Adam says something to him, and his attention goes right back to him.

"Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease." I whisper to myself, and I make a snap decision on what to do.

It's a long shot, but I press the letter D, and I hit dial without looking.

I can only hope he's stored his father in his phone as Dad.

I set the phone down beside my shoe, into the damp earth and wet snow, and I hear the phone ring lowly. It's so quiet that it's barely there, but the sound seems amplified by the snow. With each ring I feel a wave of nausea wash over me, but it finally connects on the fifth ring.

"Adam?"

"How far away from the Dome are we going? Is it far into the woods?" I call out to Marcus and Adam, and I go back to tying my shoe. I try to stall for a few more minutes, praying that Four will realize where we are and what's going on, and not hang up or try to call back.

"Adam?...Eva?"

Four's voice is tiny, so little that it's like the ghost of him whispering from beyond, and I resume trying to knot the lace. My trembling fingers slip, crashing into each other as the lace drops.

"Marcus, is it much further? Because Adam and I really should get back to my grandpa…"

My voice shakes, breaking as I trail off, because Marcus is in front of me. Tall and blocking the weak sunlight, frowning down at me.

"Eva, I said we're waiting."

He takes a step even closer, like he's going to step right on top of me, but instead, he steps right on Adam's phone, smashing it into tiny pieces.


	27. Chapter 27

Thank you so so SO much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

And thank you to everyone for the kind words. I took a break for just a minute to catch up on a few things, but I fully plan on finishing up the next few chapters.

Thanks for reading and reviewing! Have a great weekend :)

* * *

His fingers wrap around my elbow.

I'm yanked to my feet before my brain can process what's happening. Marcus kicks what's left of the phone out of the way, and pulls me upward, ignoring the fact that my shoes aren't tied because I'd been busy calling someone. I see him glance down, then his grip quickly turns painful when I struggle to wiggle away from him.

In theory, he's no different than someone I'd already fought against, but getting away is impossible.

He looms over me, much larger than he appeared at the dinner table, and his fingers dig into my arm until I yelp in pain.

"Eva, they're waiting."

"You're hurting me!" I jerk my arm away when his eyes dart forward, waiting to make sure Adam doesn't know what's going on. He's far enough away that it looks like Marcus is helping me keep my balance, but it's the exact opposite. I manage to take an entire step away before his hand catches my arm again, twisting until it burns, and he stares down at me with enough anger that I wince.

"I know what you're doing and I suggest you knock it off. You won't get far. I'll make sure of it if I have to."

I stare back at him, my expression unable to hide my defiance at him threatening me, but there's no time to do anything. He pulls me forward, his hand clenching my arm hard enough that I know it'll bruise, and he smiles at Adam.

Marcus is terrifying.

Even at his maddest, my own father never looked like he would hurt me. There were times when I'm sure I'd pissed him off on every level humanly possible, like the time Adam and I gleefully launched his tablet over the chasm just to see how long it would take to fall –while Rylan stood by and watched, but he'd never once physically hurt me or even gave off the impression that he would.

But Marcus isn't my father, and there's no reason for him not to hurt me.

"I _said_, they're waiting." With that, he scoops the box up with his free hand, and shoves it back at me. "You walk with me. Don't try anything stupid. There's no one out here to save you."

"Where are you taking us?" I try to keep my voice even. I refuse to let him know I'm afraid of him, and he pulls my arm again. Up ahead, Adam is waiting, and he catches my stare when I try to shake Marcus' hand free. "Why did you break his phone?"

"I've waited a long time for this and you aren't about to ruin it. Besides, do you really want Adam out here all alone?" Marcus answers lowly, and he forces a patient, kind smile on his face as he shifts his attention away from me. "Adam, sorry about that. Just a minor setback. I told Eva we'll fix her boots when we get there."

For a moment, his lie hangs between all of us. The look on Adam's face is telling: he knows something is wrong, but he just doesn't know what.

"Are you okay, Eva?" Adam takes a step toward me, but Marcus cuts in between us, and he squares off at Adam so he can't see me.

"She's fine. She tripped and I caught her. Keep heading straight that way. The families are further out."

"Isn't this kind of far for them to wait? Why didn't they come with you?" Adam asks Marcus a really great question, a fantastic one really, that would have come in handy five minutes ago. "No one would have cared if they wanted some food…"

He trails off, and our eyes meet.

"Adam…" I swallow when Marcus looks at me, and his fingers tighten so much that I want to shove him away. It's a clear warning to shut up, but I don't know why. I don't know what Marcus wants to do with us, but whatever his plan is, he doesn't want me ruining it.

"They're waiting. I've been meaning to ask Eva what her father is doing these days? Is he still…. with that girl?"

"My mom?" I look up at him, his features darkening as the sun sets, and he looks past Adam. I know he's only asking me to buy time, so I try to catch Adam's stare again, silently begging him to run. There was a slim chance Adam could get away from Marcus before I could. "Are you asking me if he's still with my mom?"

"She was a big influence on him. We might have had some common ground until she convinced your father to team up with Tobias to have me kicked out of Abnegation. Did they ever tell you that story?"

Marcus talks while we walk, taking careful slippery steps through the snow, down a slight decrease. I ignore him, and instead try everything I can to mark where we're going –I kick the snow out of my way with more force than necessary, I take a few steps to make a bigger print, and I even lean away from Marcus, trying to impress my struggle into the damp earth as he drags me on.

Adam somehow misses all of this. He keeps walking in the direction Marcus told him, purposefully forced ahead, but his shoulders rise up and he turns suddenly.

"Why'd they kick you out? Why would they do that? Did something happen?"

Adam doesn't look at me, and I know why.

He's positive something is wrong.

And it's not that Marcus was kicked out of his faction.

"Well, to be perfectly clear, it was payback for his upbringing. I can only assume he didn't appreciate the way he was raised, the way I tried to push him toward something greater. I raised him alone, sacrificed everything for him. He paid me back by having me stripped of my title and cast out of the only home I had."

"There must have been a reason," I retort before I can help myself, and this time, I force myself not to wince when he squeezes my arm.

"He and Eric believed I was too strong for the Abnegation faction. I had a few ideas they didn't like, and it became a struggle for us to come to an agreement on who should be overseeing it," Marcus pauses, and I have the distinct feeling he's lying. "Eva's father and yours didn't like having anyone questioning what they were doing. They weren't the best of friends, but really, the worst of enemies. United for a single moment after I learned your father was having a child before he was married. Shame that he let himself get caught up in such a disgraceful lifestyle."

Adam's expression changes. It's less concerned than it was before, and more curious.

"I thought…I thought they were married first. He always talked about…"

"Oh, I'm sure he absolutely loathed the idea of ever having a child before being married. There's no self-control in that, is there?" Marcus' stare turns slippery, and right over to me. It's uncomfortable, a little too knowing for my liking. "Now tell me about Eva. I would bet your father doesn't like this one, does he? Peter told me he wasn't a big fan of you ending up with Eric's daughter. She seems a little…wild."

My insides tighten unpleasantly. I feel like someone's thrown ice water over me, because Marcus knowing Peter isn't good news.

And his insult about me doesn't make anything better. I was hardly wild. I'd grown up with more people knowing where I was and what I was doing than anyone.

Which is unfortunately not the situation right now.

"How…how do you know Peter?" Adam comes to a complete stop, and the hesitation is all over him. His mouth tenses when he looks at me, and his eyes dart all around. "My father was worried that something would happen to Eva and me. He was…. he thought us being together would put us in danger."

I can see the panic on Adam's face. He's struggling to downplay it, but he trips over his words and his knuckles are turning white.

"How do you know all this?"

"Your father was right," Marcus nudges me forward, and Adam looks right at me. I shake my head slightly, my fingers slipping on the large box as I try not to fall, and I can feel my whole body starting to tense up.

Just like during the simulations.

The fear is hot and acidic, and it burns as it creeps up my arms.

"Adam we should go back. My grandpa is looking for us. I think this is far enough. Marcus you can take the boxes yourself."

I try one final time to remind Marcus there are people expecting us back. Our absence won't go unnoticed; my grandma had promised to make us more hot chocolate, Forrest was supposed to come by, and most importantly, my grandpa would be looking for us.

The minute he realized he didn't know where we were, he'd send everyone after us.

I just hope he's already realized it.

"Eva, I said to keep quiet. We've wasted enough time. This way."

And that's it.

My whole life flashes before my eyes as Marcus shoves me toward Adam, right onto a path leading into the woods and away from the Amity compound. There's a narrow pathway that's been hastily cleared and it runs alongside a river of rushing, black water. It reminds me of the river in Dauntless: just as dark and just as deadly.

"Adam, keep going. It's not much further from here."

I silently pray Adam won't keep going, but he does.

He glances back at me, then the river, then turns around again when Marcus gestures for him to go on.

We are silent as we walk.

No one speaks, and aside from the frantic beating of my heart, and the painful realization that Marcus is taking us somewhere no one can find us, it's like everyone is lost in their own thoughts as they try to predict the terrible fate awaiting us.

* * *

Everything is white.

I stand beside Adam, my fingers numb from the cold and my boot still untied, and I watch as Marcus stares back at us. I hadn't liked him the first time I met him, and I certainly don't like him now.

"The woods are lovely out here, aren't they?"

Marcus talks while he circles around us slowly, effectively ruining my plan to grab Adam's hand and yell for him to run.

We'd stopped a few minutes ago. It hadn't taken Adam much longer to realize there were no families out here. His dark eyes found mine as we walked beneath a canopy of frozen snow and shimmering ice, and they were full of regret and horror. I knew he was blaming himself, or maybe his father. Four had raised him to be kind, pushing him to do more than just exist in Dauntless as another soldier. His father meant well, but ultimately, it would be Adam's downfall.

He believed Marcus needed help, and he'd gone without question.

Why would he?

He had no reason to believe anything but what this man was sharing. He'd been helping my grandma and grandpa all week, so this probably felt completely normal.

But it wasn't.

The woods twisted the further we went into them, and for once, I didn't know where we were. My grandpa had willingly let me explore whatever parts of Amity I wanted, but not this far. I couldn't even be sure this was Amity anymore. It had grown so dark in this part that I had to squint to see, and I had the faint impression there was a cliff in the distance.

None of this made me feel better.

"Eva…I am so sorry," Adam's hand touches mine, and I shake my head. "Eva, please…"

He sounds desperate, just as desperate as I feel, but it's not his fault.

Not entirely.

I should have called my father, and I didn't. I'd forgotten, and I'd given Marcus the chance to find us.

"Where's Peter?"

I reach over and grab Adam's hand, refusing to back down when Marcus stares. He doesn't like that I'm here with Adam, and he certainly doesn't like the idea of us together. The look on his face reminds me of Four's, heavy with disapproval and annoyance at my presence.

"He's…indisposed as of right now. He and I originally agreed we'd just talk with Adam. See if we could open his eyes to the person his father is. Once he learned you were here, he wanted you, too. Wanted to mess with Eric as payback for making him factionless. But don't worry. He won't get to you now."

"And Jeremy? Did you know him?" I tighten my fingers, hoping Adam knows I'm sorry, too.

There was no way we could run. Marcus had made it clear that if one of us left, the other would pay.

"We've crossed paths before. Nice guy, sort of down on his luck. His sponsor was pushing him to have better goals, but all he wanted was you." Marcus stops to look at me, and he shakes his head. "Peter liked him. They were in agreement that two for one was a better deal than just taking Adam. I'm sure he won't be happy that I got to you first."

"Where do you think you're taking us?" Adam looks Marcus right in the eye, and he looks unimpressed. "You dragged us into the woods to what? Kill us? You think anyone is going to know you did it? Every time we turn around someone is trying to kill us. No one is going to think you were the one responsible for our deaths. They'll think it was a random factionless before they think it was you."

Oh fuck.

Marcus hadn't actually announced what he was going to do, but Adam's words clearly bother him. My gaze drops as Marcus steps forward, because I know what Adam is doing. While there is some logic in what he's saying, mocking Marcus to let us go, it comes off sounding pretty condescending.

And insulting the man who is using us as payback against his son isn't the best move.

"Oh, he'll know it was me. You mark my words," Marcus stops directly in front of him, and I let go of Adam's hand when Marcus turns to me. "Eva can tell him."

I blink, and my world becomes a blur of black stars falling into my vision, along with a quick burst of pain. I realize he's hit me right in the face, and I swear something cracks.

"Eva!"

I hear Adam yelling my name, and it's lost in the shuffle of him shoving Marcus back, and lunging for me. Marcus' head hits mine, and I reel away when the blood touches my lips and my knees hit the snow.

"Fuck!" The word comes out as more of a whimper, and I give myself a single second to pull it together. I don't think he broke my nose, but he hit it hard enough that it immediately begins to bleed. I try to wipe it off, but my gloves come away bloody, and I move away from him as Adam's hand finds my arm.

"Stay the fuck away from us!" Adam is in front of me in an attempt to keep Marcus away, but Marcus isn't bothered. If anything, he seems to like the challenge now that we know what he wants. Our death is the only thing that matters to him. All in the name of revenge, for some crimes we didn't commit. Marcus roars Adam's name, and I'm knocked back when his fist collides right with Adam's face.

"No no no no no."

Everything happens at once; Adam was still holding the box when Marcus hit me, and he barely had time to move before he punched him. I watch him recoil instantly, more caught off guard than anything, but it's pleasing to Marcus when he falls.

He exhales in heavy satisfaction, first turning to look at me, then Adam.

Panic isn't an adequate word at this point. I'd fought off Vinny, prancing at me with a dark delight as he plotted my death. I'd fought off Kiley, thinking she'd make me pay for Vinny getting kicked out. I'd fought off Jeremy, his body over mine as he tried to strangle the life out of me, and I'd fought off a dozen other fears, neatly checking them off Zander's list.

Those had brought up a healthy dose of panic, but not like this.

This fear is so real it feels like it's choking me, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I blink at him, at the dark sky, the weave of leaves rustling above me, and the sound of Adam groaning as Marcus' hands wrap around his throat. Marcus is taller and heavier than Adam, and he has the unfair advantage of being upright, and not having his face bashed in.

"He'll know it was me." Marcus hisses, and the pain pulses across my face as Adam tries to force him away. He succeeds for a moment, then loses when Marcus manages to hit his head one more time.

I close my eyes at the sound of the trees rustling, and my head throbs so hard my eyes shut.

The woods are lovely.

They are dark and deep, and they are where I am about to die, at the hands of a man who only wanted revenge.

* * *

"Say it, Eva. Who are you going to tell them left you here?"

Marcus stands in front of me, his jacket dusted with snow, and his hair damp. He's ugly now; his face covered in broken blood vessels and wrinkles creasing around his eyes, and it matches the rotten soul that lives inside him.

"Say it!"

He kicks at me, unmoving as I stand before him, and a few feet away, Adam sways on his feet.

I couldn't be sure how much time had passed, but I could be sure he'd hit me again, backhanding my cheek like I was a child who had misbehaved. I'd never been hit by either of my parents, and oddly enough, Marcus seemed less willing to hurt me.

He had saved that for Adam.

Between the two of us, he looked worse for the wear. Marcus had made sure I knew to stay away from him, or he'd really hurt Adam. He'd already done a great job of blackening his eye and making sure Adam knew he'd kill him if he protested. In Dauntless, the shiner would be an honor. Proof that Adam had survived something that could only be solved by physical violence, a badge of courage and bravery and general accomplishment.

Out here, it was the result of a punch from a man who wanted him dead.

I had the feeling he wanted both of us dead, if only to bring revenge to those he felt deserved it.

It was more than unfair. My father had never told me about Blythe, and Adam's father had never told him about Marcus. It was a low blow to realize that people who were related to you might wish harm upon you, but even more of a blow to realize there was nothing you could do about it.

I knew I should try.

My father would have fought back. My mother would have, too.

But I didn't know what to do. I couldn't knock Marcus down, and at the moment, the pain in my head made it hard to see. I could blink away the blurriness and ignore the ache, but all I wanted to do was lie down.

Still, I had to find a way out. To my right, was a river that eventually turned so cold and so deep I'd die before I got across. To the left of me was Marcus, coaxing me to say his name when someone did find me.

If they did.

The only person who would know I was somewhere out here was Four, but he didn't like me. With my luck, he'd think it was a prank call, or an accident, or he'd send someone else to come check on us having nothing more than a general idea of where we were. By the time they found me, even if I could try and walk back to the Dome, I would more than likely be frozen.

But I wouldn't do that.

I couldn't leave Adam with him.

"What is my name?"

"Asshole."

I whisper the word at him, summoning the courage to give it one final shot, and his face turns red with fury.

"You little…"

I lunge for him, knocking him back into the soft pile of snow, and to my relief he falls heavily. It's pure dumb luck when his head hits something buried in the snow, a rock or a branch or a rotting tree stump, and his grey hair is immediately darkened with blood. I shove him back again, wincing only when the cracking sound echoes in the woods, but I know it's not enough. There's a feeling of disbelief when he opens his eyes at me, slowly and unfocused, but I know he'll get back up.

I immediately take off. I grab onto Adam, jerking him along and pulling him with me, but I don't get far. He stares woozily; his own head has been hit a few times and his lip is bleeding, but even worse is when he blinks like he doesn't recognize me.

"Eva?"

"Run! Adam, we have to run! Now!" I pull him forward, but he doesn't move, and he's heavier than I remember. I yank on his arm as hard as I can, and when I yell his name again, something changes. His eyes widen, and he takes off, pulling me along with him.

We get all of five feet before the shot rings out in the air.

* * *

"Okay, fuck where are we?"

Adam's stare is wild. His whole body is primed toward me, so close that his chest bumps my back and he nearly crashes over me. I'm reminded of how much larger he is, and I fail at trying to steady him as my boots hit the damp marsh and I sink a few inches.

This is not where we needed to go.

"We can't stay here! It's not safe. It drops off into the river," I talk quickly, dragging him away from the water. Our only option was to head deeper into the woods. It was the last place I wanted to go, but I was running out of time.

It had been a whole three minutes since someone had fired a gun into the air. There was a small chance it was Four, but that seemed unlikely. I couldn't figure out how long it had been since I'd called him, or if he'd even figured out what was going on. The odds were even worse when I realized Marcus had led us far enough into the woods that it would be impossible to find anyone, let alone figure out where we had been.

That left Marcus as the one with the gun. My stomach sunk with the knowledge that he'd kill us both without question.

"Um…I don't…I don't know. This isn't a part of Amity I've been in!"

I work to stop myself from crying, because everything in me is shaking. Not only am I totally turned around, the woods too dark and confusing and the sun setting with every passing second, but my hands are numb. My feet are numb, too, and Holly's leggings and shirt aren't all that warm anymore.

I try to remind myself of the lone positives rather than what was going on. At the very least, we were somehow still alive and Marcus had hit his head. I hoped Marcus would keel over and die on the spot, but if he didn't –if he somehow found his way back to us, we had the advantage of being ahead and faster than him. I focus on that tiny speck of hope, figuring if we can get even further away, it'll be less likely he'll find us.

But Amity is huge.

The woods bled together with the neighboring factions, but it was mostly nothing. Trees, a river, a sloping mountain and a stomach-turning drop off a cliff at some point. I scan the woods looking for something familiar, a treehouse my grandpa had built, the old playground we'd found while playing the War Games. A barn, a water tower, anything. Anything at all that would tell me where I was.

There is nothing of the sort.

Just a sprawling thicket of trees, coaxing us to come closer, and a river rushing past.

It suddenly hits me that there are train tracks somewhere, and if we find them, we could possibly follow them somewhere.

Anywhere.

Any place that got us away from Marcus.

"We have to go north, I think. I think he took us this way, so if we back track…"

I think out loud while we walk, and I glance over at Adam to make sure he's alright.

He isn't.

"Adam?"

He looks paler than ever, even more ghostly than after the simulations. His face is bruised, the dark color hidden only by a few pieces of hair falling down, and his lip is bleeding. Every so often he wipes at it, but his own gloves are stained with blood, and he looks defeated when the blood catches on his wrist.

"Eva, I'm…this is my fault. I never should have asked you to come with us." Adam speaks slowly, and his hand reaches for mine. "I should have told you to wait…"

"No! He would have killed you if you went with him alone!" I whirl around, unwilling to die out here. I had foolishly thought I would die in my grandmother's garden, and but I certainly wasn't going to die in some snowy abyss while Adam's grandfather hunted us down. "I should have called my dad. I was going to and I forgot because…because I was really happy with you and I didn't want him to show up and take us home. I didn't want to ruin this and I did."

I say all this in a rush, blurted out as the wind howls in competition with the water rushing. Adam stares at me for so long that I think he's going to say we should have gone home and he's happy to share the blame with me, but he smiles.

Crookedly, and bloodily.

"You didn't ruin anything, Eva. And if for some reason we do die, then just know that this was probably the best week of my life."

He closes the miniscule gap between us, tilting his head down while his hands find my back, and he's right. If we do die, if Marcus does catch up to us and kill us, if no one ever finds us in these woods, or we wind up frozen by the river, at least for a week, we had loved each other.

"We aren't going to die. Not out here." I promise, and I feel desperate to get out of here. It intensifies when he presses his lips to mine for just a second, and we both know we don't have long. His hands are cold, maybe colder than mine, and they press into my skin in an unconscious attempt to warm up.

"Unfortunately, she's wrong. You're both gonna die."

Adam breaks away from me slowly, his hands still on my back, and my heart sinks in disbelief.

Marcus is only a few feet away, staring with a look of utter contempt. I idly wonder if he thought he could have swayed Adam over to his side, whatever that might be. I didn't know all the details, or any really, but there had to be a reason he wanted Adam.

Dead or alive.

It was looking like he was going with dead.

"I told you both to listen and you didn't."

Marcus is looking at me like I'm to blame, and he walks slowly. He's not as fast as he was before, and every so often, he grimaces. He's breathing heavily, his cheeks red and his hair a bloodied mess, but he's on his feet and coming right at us.

He also has a gun and we do not.

"Let's make this easy. Stop fucking around and get over here." Marcus sneers, gesturing for Adam and me to come back toward him. I shake my head no, and so does Adam. "I don't have any patience for your games. If you two don't listen, I'll kill you right here. Your fathers will find your remains and know exactly where they went wrong as parents."

"Fuck you," Adam spits, stepping back instead of forward. "I trusted you. You told me…you told me you were sorry we'd never met before. You said…"

Adam stops as soon as I look at him, and it's clear they've talked. I wonder if he'd seen him before, maybe somewhere in Amity. Maybe they'd talked more than I thought in the few minutes before I found Adam. Maybe Marcus had told Adam all sorts of things, giving him the thin promise of hope that there was a relationship waiting for him with someone who understood him.

Now it's obvious it was all a lie.

Marcus shrugs and his dismissal is clear: he never intended to know Adam, nor had he wanted to.

He just needed him to get back at Four.

"Your father raised a fool. I think we both agree he deserves everything he has coming to him. Now stop screwing around and get over here before I shoot you both myself." Marcus threatens loudly, but he stops when there's a snap of something. It echoes in the dark forest, and it sounds like someone is heading this way. "I said get…over…here. Now."

Marcus hisses at us, but he stops when there is a definite sound of footsteps. It's only recognizable because of a branch snapping and someone swearing, and Marcus freezes.

Then he turns and fires the gun in the direction of the noise.

It echoes immediately, loud and ugly and sharp, but I pay no attention to that.

I grab Adam's hand, praying he somehow understands what we're about to do.

He does.

We head right for the river.

My boots sink into the wet bank, slowing me down further than I'd like, and I only stop because Adam grabs me. I'm roughly jerked back, and his eyes are wide as he shakes his head no.

"We can't. We won't survive. It's too cold and we don't know how deep it is. Or where it goes." He looks left and right, trying to see how wide it really is. The river was our best option out of here, but he had a point. The water had to be freezing, and if we couldn't make it across, we'd be pulled downstream to wherever it went.

"Okay, well now what?"

The panic rises up again, cheerfully reminding me that we have mere minutes. Maybe seconds. Marcus is still yelling at someone we can't see, and our time is slipping away faster than I can think.

Luckily, Adam sees something I don't.

"There. There's a tree up ahead. We have to hurry before he sees us."

I follow Adam blindly, unwilling to look back and see if Marcus is behind us. We sprint further up the bank until I see what Adam is talking about, and I'm surprised he could even see it. We stop in front of a huge, rotting tree that's collapsed across the water. It's fallen gracelessly, now suspended over the river by both banks and nothing more. There are dried, dead branches that extend out like clawed hands, and I almost can't bring myself to move.

But I don't have a choice.

"You go first. I'll be right behind you," Adam promises, and his hands find my waist. He helps me step up onto the tree, and when he lets go, I realize it's incredibly unstable. "Just…. don't look down. It's maybe ten steps across and you'll be fine. We've walked across worse things."

I nod, swallowing down the fear that hits me out of nowhere, and I pretend I'm on the ledge of the roof. I flash back to my father walking with me, his arms right there to keep me safe, never once worried I'd slip.

This is different.

The tree is old, weakened by both the lack of water and nutrients and the violent waters rushing past it. It groans and gives with the first few steps, and I stop when I feel Adam climb up onto it. The whole thing shakes, creaking as he steps near a worn, knotted limb.

"You're almost there, Eva." Adam lies, but I figure I'll find a safer place to call him out on it.

I take another step, slow and precise, and there is a snap as it bows under my weight.

"Adam, I don't think it's going to hold us." I whisper the words, because saying them out loud feels like it's adding weight to the makeshift bridge. "Adam…"

The crunch comes from behind me, winning out over the sound of the water, and I shut my eyes for a moment. The spot I'm standing on is thin, fragile bark over absolutely nothing.

"You're good. Just…pretend Zander is over there, waiting to score you. Gunner would be done already. Rachel wouldn't do it because her hair might get wet…" Adam is right behind me now, and we both freeze at the groan of something beneath our feet. "Kat would be staring at you from the other side, pleading for you to forgive her…"

I laugh at his words, but it turns hysterical when I make the mistake of glancing down.

From up on the edge of the roof, the world was dizzying. I liked the temporary wave of vertigo, the dangerous feeling of the ground being so far beneath me while I was on top of the world.

From the tree, the water is more than dizzying. It rushes viciously, crashing and thrashing against the tree, working to wear it away. It's a swirl of black and blacker water, foaming and frothing where it smashes into itself, and fizzling away to head downstream.

Freezing, icy water, just daring me to fall.

"Adam, don't move…"

The tree cracks apart.

I hear it right as I hear Marcus yelling, and I take off. I get three more steps in, my fingers grasping onto the aged branches to hold myself steady, but it's no use. Adam bumps into me before I can tell him to jump, and I watch the tree vanish right before me as we plunge into a freezing depth I'm unprepared for.

The chill is like nothing I've ever felt before.

It's immediately overwhelming; the icy water rushes all around me, pulling me down with its heaviness. I can't reach the bottom, and my chest tightens up as I frantically try to find the surface. It seems endlessly deep, and my eyes screw shut in an attempt to block out the cold. I finally reach the very top, my lungs begging for air and refusing the water I'd choked down, but it all loses out to the sensation of freezing shock. I push myself higher, glancing around furiously as I try to see Adam.

I don't.

I fumble blindly for him, trying my best to avoid the crumbling chunks of tree around me. The tree has split apart, and I'm forced back underwater as one of the larger pieces knocks me out of the way. It hurts as I struggle to claw my way back up. My breathing comes in choppy pants, I'm unable to steady myself, and my whole body hurts.

I realize we don't have long to get to the other side. Maybe nothing more than a minute before the cold becomes too much, maybe less.

"Adam!" I yell his name, gagging on a mouthful of water as I try to swim forward. My limbs are frozen, both in fear and cold, and right when I think I've lost him, I feel him bump into me.

"Eva, fuck it's so cold."

Adam has the advantage of being taller than me, and despite the fact that he didn't spend his summers in Amity by the lake, he moves easily. His stroke is longer than mine, and he turns to yank me along with him.

"I don't think he can see us." Adam's hands find my waist, and I nearly scream at how cold everything seems. His fingers dig in as he holds on tightly, and for a moment, we fumble to keep our heads above water. I realize he's trying to help me, but it's like we're going nowhere. This part of the river isn't particularly wide, but deep, and the water is moving swiftly. Combined with the low temperature and the shock to my system, getting out feels impossible.

Until I hear Marcus swearing.

"Okay, just…we have to keep going," I gasp, not even sure if I'm really saying anything. It feels like it takes hours to reach the opposite bank, but eventually, my boots hit the sudden rise in the ground and there are enough low hanging branches that I can grasp onto one. It immediately bows as I pull myself up, but I don't have enough energy to do it on my own. My feet drag over the bank, sticking on wet rocks and sopping mud, and I rejoice when I realize I'm out of the water.

That stops a second later.

We'd gotten away from Marcus. It would be impossible for Marcus to cross the river, and while he could shoot at us, it should prove difficult to hit one of us in the dark.

But while we are now safely across the dark waters, we aren't out of the clear yet. I am absolutely freezing. My fingers are so cold they are painful, and my teeth are chattering. Adam isn't any better. He flexes his fingers a few times and shakes them, but the snow and wind make it hard to breathe, let alone move.

"Where….where do we go now?"

I turn to see Adam looking at me, his cheeks red and his hands shaking, and I know our survival rests squarely on my shoulders.

He hadn't grown up here, but I had. I close my eyes for a second, trying to conjure up any memory of the Amity woods that I can, when I hear it.

The low groan of a train, wheezing its way up the hill.

It means it is going the opposite direction we had come from.

It also means we don't have long.

"We only have a few minutes," I reach for Adam's hand, and it hurts to slide my fingers through his. "Come on."

He follows me wordlessly, trusting me to get us out of here, and all I can think is if I am wrong, we might actually die out here.

Marcus or no Marcus.

* * *

"Are you okay?"

I kneel in front of Adam, working to pull the wet gloves off his hands and struggling as they stick to his skin. He looks at me before he nods, slow and heavy, and I force myself not to swear.

The train was warm.

It was warm and it felt safe, but I wasn't sure how long it would run for.

It had taken everything in me to reach the tracks. We'd trudged on together, my whole body screaming that I was so cold I couldn't take another step, but I had no choice. I held onto Adam, wiping away the tears that I didn't want him to see and struggling to breathe normally.

It all hurt.

My lungs felt like they were refusing to suck in the cold air. My side hurt. My feet felt both frozen and hot, and my legs were shaking so much that it was hard to walk. Combined with the overwhelming guilt that I hadn't called my father and the panic that either one of us might collapse, it felt like we were up against insurmountable odds.

We could hear Marcus yelling at someone as we walked. We could hear footsteps as they paced the riverbank, trying to figure out if they could get across. His voice disappeared when they chose not to go into the water, which was smart, but I knew they would try to figure out where they could cut us off.

I ignored everything except moving forward. My shirt was sticking to my skin in a way that meant it would hurt to take it off and my feet felt like I'd been running for miles. Adam was silent while we walked, wincing every so often when we slipped, and uttering one _fuck _when he tripped over a rock. The walk was brutal; it was fueled by our will to live and pure adrenaline, and nothing more.

Our only respite came when we saw the straight section of track and the dull lights coming from the front of the train.

We had a single minute to gear ourselves up, and if we missed, then we'd either fall to our death or die beneath a dazzling fall of snowflakes and the opportunity for Marcus to find us. I held onto Adam as tightly as I could, and I summoned every last ounce of energy to jump. Our chance was fleeting: it came up before we were ready, but it was there.

An open door with light pouring out of it.

We took off together, unwilling to let go of the other, and we landed sloppily. Zander would have marked us down for every aspect. We knocked into each other when we landed, my head hit the side of the door, and Adam nearly fell out, groaning as he sat up too close to the edge and shifted us away from the opening with what little energy he had left.

But we had made it.

It should have been impossible. Both of us were dripping wet. My hair was stuck everywhere, in my eyes, to my cheeks, and to my shoulders. My father's words that his family would die of hypothermia came back to me, and I feared he might be right.

Then I told myself I hadn't come this far to die wearing pants.

"I need your shirt," I scoot closer, attempting to unbutton the first button, but my fingers slip. I'm shaking so badly I can barely see straight, but I know we have to warm up sooner rather than later. Adam stares at me like I'm crazy, but the less wet clothing he has on, the better. "It's too much. We can…we'll stay on here until there's somewhere to jump but we have to try and warm up. I have to get this off you."

"Eva, are you okay?"

Adam sits up suddenly, and he reaches his hand out to touch my head. He presses one cold, trembling finger to my head, and he frowns when he touches sticky blood.

"You're bleeding."

"I'm fine," I ignore him, moving to fumble with the laces on his boots. Just like before, it proves impossible. My fingers were slowly warming up as much as they could. The train car was warmer than outside; it was a break from the freezing temperature, but it wasn't enough to stop me from shivering.

"Eva!"

Adam knocks me away, and he grasps my face in his hands. They are so cold that my eyes shut, and I shake my head no.

"We have to get warm or we'll die. Adam, I have to get your shirt off. It's too cold."

"I know…" Adam stops talking, and he yanks me forward. I lose my balance as the train turns, and I'm reminded of when Rylan strolled through the train car, completely unaffected by the movement. Adam pulls me against him, kicking his boots off without untying anything, and working to get mine off as well.

He's just as cold as I am.

He somehow gets my jacket off, which is really his jacket. We're left shivering in still damp clothes, but it's better than being outside and marginally better than before.

"We're not dying here. Not like this." Adam holds onto me tightly, and his words are a promise. They are confident even as we shiver together, and warm as he touches his cheek to the top of my head. "Not here."

My head falls against his chest, and all at once I realize I am too tired to do anything other than shut my eyes.

"We're safe for a little while. Maybe a half hour…" Adam keeps talking, his hands touching my hair, pushing it off my face and resting somewhere behind my ear. I finally let myself stop for a minute, sinking into the feeling of safety of both him and the train.

It's not permanent.

At some point, we have to figure out where we are and where the train is going, but for now, it's enough.

We both stay silent, and the train presses on, groaning again as it ascends onto a snow lined track.

* * *

"Hey, Eva…wake up."

I open my eyes to Adam gently shoving my shoulder, and it takes all my energy to lift my head away from his chest.

I must have fallen asleep. Or maybe I'd passed out from sheer exhaustion, or I was succumbing to hypothermia. Whatever the case may be, everything hurts as I force myself to move away from him to see what he's pointing at.

The rush of cold is immediate.

"I think we should jump soon." Adam looks just as miserable as I feel. He's trying to stop himself from shivering, but it's impossible. There's very little light in the train car, and it's colder than when we first got on. "There's light…we went around this turn and it looks like we're about to go through a faction."

"Where?" I carefully climb away from him, ignoring the bone deep ache that comes along with feeling like I might collapse. I stand right by him, hesitant to go near the open doorway. The train had been fast enough to keep the cold air out, but it felt like I'd get sucked right back into the darkness if I got too close to the opening. "Where are we?"

The answer to my own question is right before my eyes.

The train slows down as it descends toward the street level and the Erudite faction explodes into view. I can't even bring myself to say anything. All I can do is stare as the buildings rise up, and the train slows itself down. There's a nervous groan as it roars over a particularly snowy area of the track, and I swear I can feel it struggle to keep going.

"We can find your grandpa…and…."

I look up at Adam, his stare following mine, and he inches us closer to the door. The wind is painful when it hits my still wet clothes and damp skin, but the hope of being somewhere safe wins out. I lean back against Adam's chest, and we both watch as Erudite sprawls out before us, lush and pretty.

The trees are not twisted or broken here. They are artfully sculpted into neat rows, dotted with a dusting of elegant looking snow and twinkling lights.

"There. We'll jump there." I point to a spot where the tracks bank around the bend. This isn't the same train we'd been on the last time we'd come to Erudite, because it had come from somewhere else. I wasn't even sure how it was running. But it was, and that was all that mattered. The train turns again, taking us away from the exclusive shops of Erudite and closer to the homes and suddenly I know where we are.

The larger homes.

If we timed it right, we'd wind up right by my grandparent's house.

"Are you ready? Can you jump?" I glance up in hopes that Adam looks better, but he still looks pale and tired, and just as exhausted as I am. Maybe more. "We're almost there. Then we'll find my grandpa, get some dry clothes, and we can go home. You and me."

Adam grins down at me, and I pretend not to notice that it doesn't reach his eyes

It's the cold, because I feel it too. If we stay out here any longer, we wouldn't need to worry about going home.

"You and me." Adam repeats, and my heart speeds up right as the train slows down.

* * *

"Oh my God! What on Earth happened to you two!"

Camille is the one who finds us.

In my freezing confusion, I'd somehow forgotten she and my grandpa lived in such an exclusive neighborhood in Erudite that we had to be buzzed in. We'd stood at the large gates for a moment, locked and unmoving. In a moment of pure and utter delirium, I'd jokingly suggested we hop the fence. Adam had looked at me like he wasn't so sure I was real, so I found the guard at the gate and asked that he call my grandpa.

He wasn't home, but my grandma was.

"Um, we ran into some trouble in Amity…"

My grandmother grabs both of us, pulling us against her and she squeezes her eyes shut.

The security guard had glared at me like I was tricking him. I tried to tell him who I was, but he stared suspiciously as we walked along, and there was no doubt it was because we looked a wreck. Adam and I were freezing. Our shoes were untied. Our clothes were wet. My head was bleeding, a slow and lazy reminder that I'd hit it while we jumped on the train, and my ankle hurt. I felt like I might fall over and I would most certainly murder someone for a glass of water or a warm blanket.

"Eva…Adam…"

Camille clutches us against her, not caring that our clothes are wet and we're ruining her fancy pajamas. She holds onto us tightly, warm and soft, and unwilling to let go. She only pulls back to yell for someone to come help her, and before I know what's happening, the large entryway doors are shut, and we're escorted upstairs. I don't recognize the other woman in their house, but I dully put together she must work for them. She quickly leads us up the stairs, something that feels like an impossible task, and into a large guest bathroom. She covers us in towels, heavy and thick, and instructs us not to move.

The first thing I notice is it's warm. It's so warm it's almost hot, but my grandmother was always cold. She liked to joke that my grandfather was the only person who didn't care that she kept the heat on, and even now instructs the woman to turn the heat up higher. Adam and I stand there silently while she turns the knobs on the bathtub, and she pauses when the woman returns with her phone.

"Were you in the snow? Is there a storm going on? Daniel is at the hospital, but I'll call him to come home…" she talks while she works, dumping in all kinds of bubble bath and pretty powders. The water swirls around just like the river, and I find myself unable to look at it. "Eva, what happened to you two? Are you alright? Neither of you are saying anything…"

She pauses, looking right at me, and I wonder how on Earth I begin to explain what happened.

"Um, we were in the snow for a while. Then…we had to cross the river and we fell in. There was someone trying to kill us…and we had to get away, so we tried to cross it and the tree broke. It was…it was really cold. But we found train tracks and a train and jumped on it and it took us here." I'm the only one to answer her, and next to me, Adam looks at the floor. He stares at his boots, untied and damp, and he frowns.

He'd caught sight of himself in the mirror, and I knew he was horrified.

We looked awful. Far worse than I had thought, and far, far unlike the two who had stood in my other grandmother's garden and kissed while it lit up. We looked like two people who had nearly died, and still might.

For once, my father wouldn't be happy he'd been right.

"Adam, you come with me. Ally is going to look at Eva's head and I'm going to look at yours. Eva, the water in the tub isn't hot. It's lukewarm, because we need to warm you up slowly. It won't feel great at first, but I promise you'll feel better soon. I'm going to get your grandpa home," Camille stops in front of me, and she touches my cheeks, frowning at how cold I am. "Who was trying to kill you?"

I stare at her, taking in my grandmother's horrified expression and I remember how much she loves me. My mom liked to remind me that she always wanted to spend time with me, and she'd been just as hopeful as my grandfather that I'd pick Erudite. I scrunch my face up while she holds onto me, because after Marcus trying to kill us, this feels like too much.

"Um, Adam's grandfather. Before that it was Jeremy. Blythe and he decided to attack us and…"

"_Blythe?_" My grandmother's hands slip for a second, but she steels her expression and nods encouragingly. "Okay, so you were in Amity and…Adam's grandfather tried to kill you. Before that, someone named Jeremy attacked you. And he did it because Blythe told him to?"

I nod, wondering if Adam is still conscious. I hear Ally shuffling around behind us, carrying armfuls of towels, and lowly telling my grandmother she'd gotten ahold of my grandpa.

"Does your father know you're here?"

I shake my head no, and I finally work up the courage to look at Adam. He's watching my grandma and me, and every so often, his eyes skate around the bathroom. It's large, almost as large as my parents' living room, and everything is white. There are large mirrors above an extra-large vanity, a large shower flanking the opposite wall, and a glass light fixture that glistens even as Ally turns the lights down.

It's a lot to take in, considering minutes ago we'd been on a train speeding through the woods, not entirely conscious.

"Okay, well…first things first, we get you both warm. We get Daniel back here, and some dinner in you guys. Then we figure out how to tell your dad. Or what to tell him so he doesn't have a heart attack. He should know you're here and you're safe."

I frown at her, aware that someone should tell my father, but really, my grandpa.

I wonder if he knew we were gone, or if anyone had noticed we hadn't returned home for dinner.

The thought of him back in Amity makes my stomach hurt, enough that I have to look away, and focus on the perfectly polished marble flooring so I don't throw up.

* * *

What feels like an hour later, I sink beneath hot water and close my eyes.

I'm nearly suffocated by the overwhelming amount of bubbles, but I don't mind. They smell good, not like wet earth or the metallic scent of blood, but happy. Safe. Very much like something that came from Erudite.

I've been soaking in this tub for a while now. My grandmother returned from the other guest bathroom to check in on me, explaining quietly that Adam wasn't taking this as easily as I was. He was fully panicked as she instructed him to strip off the wet clothing, and he'd almost refused to get into the bathtub. It had taken a lot of coaxing and a little gentle reminding that unless he wanted frostbite, he needed to warm up.

He'd finally relented when my grandfather arrived, and he backed up my grandmother's explanation that he couldn't just hop into a burning hot shower and be fine. Warming up would take some time so it didn't shock his system, but it felt like a painfully slow process for people who'd been drenched in freezing water.

My grandma told me Adam had let my grandfather examine him after he was slightly warmer. She said he sat there as stiff as could be, and looked mortified when my grandpa insisted he take a few things to help with the pain.

My grandpa hadn't come in to see me, instead he'd gone to make a few phone calls, but Ally had stitched up the side of my head. I was so cold I could barely feel what she was doing, and after only a few minutes, she announced I was done. She then helped me wash my hair, slathered a heavy conditioner all over it, and told me to relax for a while before I washed it out. She'd drained the tub some to slowly add hot water, and by the time she was done, I felt better. Warmer, less achy, and definitely better than I had been.

I actually felt a lot of things.

Exhausted.

Terrified.

Scared that Marcus would show up here, having somehow made it all the way to Erudite and right up my grandparent's driveway.

Grateful I was alive, but still panicked. I needed to get ahold of my other grandpa and my father, and Adam's parents, too. I still didn't know if Four had figured out what was going on, but at some point, we had to call him or Tris. I could only imagine he'd taken some sort of action after my phone call, but I had no way of getting ahold of him now.

So I don't think about that. I focus on the fact that I can feel my feet again and how warm and lovely this is.

"What's all over your hair?"

I startle so easily that I nearly smack my head on the edge of the bathtub. I steady myself quickly, scowling as Adam watches me with an amused look on his face.

To my relief, he looks almost back to normal.

The clothes he has on mostly fit. The pajama pants are loose, but the shirt is white and pressed so perfectly that there's no doubt it is my grandfather's. His hair is clean and brushed off his face, and his feet are bare.

But he looks warm, too.

His face has color back in it, and even though there's a bruise on his face, his eyes are much more alive than they had been on the train.

"It's a deep conditioner. Ally told me to leave it in for a minute," I sit up carefully, clinging to the edge of the tub and trying not to drown. I'd made it this far, and it would be a shame to come to my death in my grandmother's claw foot bathtub.

"Never heard of it. Should I be using it?"

Adam stops by the side of the tub, and he crouches down to stare at me. He's smirking, like he thinks he's hilarious, so I examine his own hair while I pretend to contemplate his question.

"Yeah, yeah I'd say you need some conditioner."

He smiles brightly, looking so much more alive than when we clawed our way out of the river. He leans in so close I think he might kiss me, but his eyes are fixed on the gash on my head.

"My grandma said you didn't want her help," I blurt out, but he takes no insult to my words.

He shrugs, and I know he's embarrassed.

"I didn't. But your grandma is very nice. Sort of pushy and a little intimidating for someone her size, but very knowledgeable about hypothermia."

"She was a nurse for her whole life," I smile back, and he glances down at my hands on the edge of the tub. "Or, she _is _a nurse, but she doesn't work as much anymore."

"Well, she's a good one. Whatever she did worked." Adam pauses, and he looks up at the light again. He contemplates something, and his expression turns back to the tense one from earlier.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" I sit up straighter, and my body loudly reminds me to sink back in the water and enjoy the warmth.

"I don't want to admit this, but…. I wasn't so sure we'd make it out of there." Adam's expression reveals the same fears I had, and I wait for him to keep talking. "I thought I was going to lose you, again. Our last minutes together would be us dying, somewhere in the woods and no one would ever know what happened to us."

"I know," I lean closer to him, and the slosh of the water is far different than the river. "I was really afraid back there. I thought for sure that was it. But I refused to let him kill us, no matter what. The only thing that kept me going was that I didn't want this to be it. Not after everything…"

Adam nods, and he reaches out to touch right below the stitches. His eyes narrow, and his own lip is still split.

He's still as handsome as ever.

"Your father is going to freak the fuck out." Adam touches the stitches so gently I barely feel it, and I laugh, because he's not wrong.

My chances of visiting Amity in the near future were probably nonexistent. Actually, my chances of visiting anywhere would be zero, once my dad learned what happened.

"Yeah, wanna take bets on whose security codes won't open anything other than the door to his office?" I smile when Adam's nose touches mine, and his other hand slips into my hair. "I think it's gonna be me."

"Oh for sure it's gonna be you," Adam laughs, and he pulls me toward him. He kisses me carefully, until he's not. His lips crash against mine, not demanding anything else, but reassurance that he and I were alive, and very much okay. "I bet he makes you his secretary."

"No," I groan, shaking my head and breaking the kiss for just a minute. "I'll refuse. I see him enough as it is. I don't need to work for him."

Adam snickers, but we both know returning to Dauntless isn't going to be easy. There was a good chance my father would show up here, presumably losing his shit that we'd nearly died, and this time, fully insisting we go home with him. Then there was Dauntless itself, the whole faction continuing on, blissfully unaware of what had happened.

Our friends, our family, all safe and sound while we'd fought off death.

We'd left the most dangerous faction of all and found ourselves fighting for our lives in the most peaceful one.

It was no fault of our own, but it would certainly make leaving Dauntless a little more difficult next time.

"We'll call my grandpa tonight and our parents tomorrow," I whisper, not wanting to break the spell of this. I don't know if I could ever recapture how good this felt, knowing we were safe here, and if anything, we'd have one more night of just us. "Otherwise, they're gonna show up here and I am way too tired to go all the way to Dauntless. Or to explain what happened."

"Me too," Adam agrees, and he sighs when moves his hands away from me. "I told your grandma I'd come downstairs to get something to eat. She's very worried we're starving. She might be more worried about that than us dying."

"I am kind of hungry," I sink back into the water, and I watch Adam stand up. His eyes lock on mine, and for a second, neither of us are willing to look away. "I'll be out in just a minute."

Adam nods, and he leaves with an air of reluctance.

I want to yell after him to stay, that this separation feels painful, almost as painful as the cold water had been or the slap from Marcus.

Oddly enough, it feels worse than all that, especially when the door shuts behind him and I'm left here all alone.

* * *

He examines my head while I eat my toast.

My grandfather sits beside me, carefully moving my hair out of the way and inspecting Ally's work. His expression tells me he's pleased enough, but his frown tells me he's anything but.

We'd run into him on our walk downstairs. My grandmother left clothes for me, warm pajamas that were a bit more practical than those in Amity, but far softer. He'd lunged for me before I could say hello, pulling me tightly against him and grasping onto me so I couldn't move.

Adam had smiled from the side, and the smile stayed there when my grandpa reached for him, too.

He was a little more formal than my other grandpa, but he clung onto us like his life depended on it.

He'd then walked us downstairs and sat while we ate whatever my grandma had made.

"Are you alright? There's nothing broken or…you're not still cold?"

There is an odd pause in his words, but he's being very careful. I know what he wants is to take us to the hospital. If he thought he could get away with it, he'd probably drive us there himself. Check us in as his patients, and make sure we couldn't leave.

Grandpa Harrison kept us in Amity and Grandpa Daniel would keep us in Erudite.

I found myself amused by this thought, but it quickly went away when I realized his examination would continue all night if I let him.

"I'm…. I'll be okay," I reassure him as I stab at my eggs. "It was just a lot. I don't think anything is broken, and I'm really tired, but I'm not cold anymore."

"He hit her in the face," Adam offers, sitting oddly close to Camille. They must have bonded while she lectured him on the treatment for freezing to death, because she keeps feeling his forehead and he keeps letting her. She frowns at my grandfather at his words, and her eyes flick over to my face. "She was bleeding for a while."

"He hit me twice. I think it just bled and that was it. It's not broken," I look up pleadingly, and Adam returns to eating his toast and having Camille fuss over him.

"A grown man hit you in the face?" My grandpa isn't impressed, and he looks even less impressed when my grandma interrupts to tell him it was someone named Marcus. "I see. Well, in the morning, we'll file a report. I'll let Eric know you're here, and someone should call Harrison. He must be going out of his mind not knowing if you're alive or not."

"We should call him. We were supposed to be back for dinner," Adam looks at me, and there's more than a flash of guilt on his face. "Eva, he's got to be worried. We've been staying with him there for over a week."

"You got to stay there for a week?" My grandpa looks jealous and I smile at him reassuringly.

"It's a long story. We were attacked in Amity by a guy named Jeremy. He kept us there because we were going to help him investigate what happened."

"I see," my grandpa still doesn't look thrilled, and he frowns. "You two were attacked twice in Amity? Really?"

"Eva was attacked the first time. Then both of us were attacked the second time. That was different. We were out in the snow, and we got lost trying to figure out where we were…" Adam clarifies, and he pauses to take a sip of the drink Camille hands him. "We should call your grandpa. I feel really bad that he probably has everyone looking for us."

"I know," I take a swallow of my water, and I've never tasted anything so great in my life. "I don't have a phone. I didn't have any way to call him."

"We'll call him after you finish eating. I want to make sure you're both alright," my grandpa promises, and he relaxes a fraction of an inch when we nod. "Camille, did Ally get a room ready for them? I'd say you could go back to Dauntless tonight, but you both have injuries to the head. I'd like to keep you here until I'm sure you're alright. Protocol would be forty-eight hours, but we'll see. I have a feeling as soon as I call, your father is going to head right over here."

"We all know he will," I smile weakly, and I'm suddenly so tired I could fall asleep sitting here. The events of the day slowly add up, leaving me wishing I was back upstairs. "That's fine with me. I think we should stay for the night. I'm too tired to go home."

"Me too."

I glance over to see Camille fixing Adam's hair, and her fingers pause to touch the bruise by his eye. He looks just as worn out as I feel, and he smiles back slowly.

"We'll get you two upstairs as soon as you're done. They can stay in the guest room closest to us," Camille answers, and she reluctantly stands up. "I'll go turn the sheets down now. You want to call Eric? Or you want me to do it?"

My grandpa smiles knowingly, and he shakes his head.

"I'll do it. There's a chance he'll hightail it over here. You call Harrison. Let him know they're here and they're alright. Either way, they stay tonight. Head trauma rules out whatever Eric can come up with."

Adam catches my eye, and he smiles. It's a tired one, but it's hopeful.

We're alive, and with any luck, we'll be fast asleep before anyone tells my father anything.


	28. Chapter 28

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Thank you so much to everyone for all the sweet words and for taking time to review! 💚

Just a quick note: to avoid confusion in this chapter, certain characters are referred to by their first names. This isn't because Eva would call them that, it's so it's clear while reading. I just wanted to clarify this before anyone is like, why is Eva calling X this name?

Have a Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

* * *

The bruise is dark.

In the warm lighting of the guest room, the mark by his eye seems to glow. It appears harsher and blacker than it had outside, and he blinks his eyes shut as though he can make it vanish with such a simple act.

He sways on his feet for a moment, the white shirt stark against his skin and his body primed toward me. His face holds almost too much color now; red on his cheeks, leftover from both the cold and the burning heat my grandma refused to turn off, black, surrounding his eye like the perfect imprint of a lunatic's fist, and tan, left over from the days of being outside and enjoying a less cold sun.

He was still Adam to me. Still completely perfect and the only person who'd ever understand what we'd been through.

"Adam? Are you okay?"

I ask because he still hasn't moved. He's standing a few feet away from the bed, looking at me.

His gaze isn't at all invasive, nor is it anything like when he looked at me back in Amity. I wish it was the same warm and happy stare he'd had before we climbed into bed, but this one is nothing but total and complete defeat.

"Do you think they called yet?"

He takes a slow step toward the bed, larger and more elegant than anything we had back in Dauntless and certainly not put together by this grandpa, and his eyes move from the intricate bedframe back to me. They stay there for a beat, examining the wood intently until the design grows boring.

"Eva?"

"I'm sure my grandpa called," I answer carefully, watching his face tighten as he looks at mine. I'm guessing it's the matching bruise on my face. It's not as dark as his, but it's there, blossoming from the very spot Marcus had hit me. "I'm guessing it went fine. They haven't shown up yet and if things were bad, you know they would have."

Adam's posture changes, and I pretend it's because this day is finally catching up to him and not because of our parents coming to find us.

Because the day had certainly caught up to me.

After we'd finished our dinner with my grandparents, we hung out with them for just a little while longer. They both were unwilling to let us out of their sight. Daniel seemed to hold a fleeting irritation than we'd been in Amity, more jealous that we'd been there not here, but also a greater concern that we'd been left alone. He did confess that Harrison had done a great job keeping us safe, but I couldn't tell if he was being subtly snarky with that comment, or if he was wondering what he would have done if someone had shown up here to try and kill us. He looked resigned to admitting such a thing, then smiled, scooted closer to hug me again, and promised me we could stay here as long as we wanted.

I had to look down so he wouldn't see that I was close to shutting my eyes and not opening them. I had been fine while we were eating, but once my grandma tried to convince us to have dessert, it hit me –a wave of exhaustion crashing over me as the adrenaline finally wore off. My body betrayed my wanting to stay with my grandparents and catch up by reminding me that I was pretty worn out. It took all my effort to stay seated upright and even more of an effort to keep talking, begging off dessert and promising them we were fine.

Or as fine as we could be.

I kept looking over at Adam, hoping he was handling this as okay as he could, and he was. Sort of. His shoulders were still high up, his brow was furrowed together, and this time, he frowned when my grandma whispered something to him. As much as I hated to admit it, the triumphant feeling of survival wasn't enough to outweigh how we'd gotten here or why we were here.

I politely declined dessert when everything began to hurt, and it wasn't much longer before my grandpa noticed.

Rather than cookies or brownies, he gave Adam and I heavy doses of something and instructed us to go to bed and leave him to deal with my father.

I was uneasy at the thought of him calling, if only because my grandpa didn't know everything that had happened. The basics of it were horrifying enough, but I had left out the part where Marcus went after Adam with a vengeance, then threatened his life if I tried to stop him. Daniel had only the most minor of details and telling him more felt impossible, like if he knew everything, he might not call anyone.

I tried to chalk it up to being tired. I knew this would take a few days to get over, but I hated the anxiety it was causing. I sat there at a formal dining table too large for just two people, stuck with the wretched feeling of doubt. It quickly morphed into feeling pretty insecure about my standing as a member of the Dauntless faction, considering how things had gone down.

All I could think was what would anyone else have done? Would my friends have been able to do better? Figured out what was going on faster? Would Zander have taken the risk of just going right after Marcus, or would he have tried to figure out how to play Marcus' game? Would Gunner or Aja have refused to back down, ignoring the sickening feeling of fear even if it meant dying?

Then there was my father.

When he learned what happened, it was unlikely he'd be impressed or thrilled to learn that Marcus was still out there. He wouldn't have left him without making sure he was dead, and he certainly wouldn't have run. He would think I didn't do enough. I might have saved Adam and myself from dying in the snow, but I hadn't done anything to protect anyone else. I had left Marcus free to find someone else and take his rage out on them.

I also wondered if Adam would have something to say about that. I wondered if he felt I hadn't done enough. He'd gone after Jeremy for me, and while I had pushed Marcus away and split his head open, I hadn't been able to stop him completely. I didn't know what Marcus had planned, but I wasn't willing to risk him really hurting Adam by trying anything.

I had a feeling that damage had already been done.

The bruises and marks would fade. The crack in his lip would heal and so would the memory of his grandfather coming after him. But Adam had always been mistrusting, and this certainly wouldn't help.

"Are you mad at me?"

I stare at him as he climbs into bed. The bruise on his face is both darker and lighter, messily sprawling from his eye down to the top of his cheek. There are others; red marks that are more telling than his eyes, and a few scratches I'd missed. Nothing is bleeding anymore, but the way he's staring makes me wonder if Marcus had hit something I couldn't see.

"Adam?"

"Why would I be mad at you?" Adam shakes his head, and he pushes the covers back to climb into bed. His shirt is so white it's blinding, and he swallows when I reach for him. "You saved my life Eva. I would have died out there if it wasn't for you. I should have fought him off. I already know I'm going to hear about it from my dad."

The change in his demeanor becomes clear with the anguish in his words; failing to kill Marcus would be a mistake on his part, one that would be unforgivable by his father.

Except Four would have no idea what had happened. How desperate it felt to know that Marcus could have killed us, was oh so close to accomplishing such a vile act and how we had no way out. He wouldn't know that our options had been limited to almost nothing, and the fight or flight reflex had crossed its wires. I had wanted to both fight _and_ flee, but it was an impossible choice. Marcus hunting us down was the perfect disaster scenario created by him: an empty, snowy wonderland, a creepy forest, an almost frozen river, and a madman with a gun.

All that was missing was a candlestick and my grandpa reminding us no one got murdered in the kitchen.

"He would have killed you," I needlessly remind Adam, and my fingers touch the borrowed shirt. I move them to the bottom, and I pull it up before he can say anything. There's a slight flinch in his posture, but when I freeze, he finishes the act for me. The shirt lands somewhere on the large bed with the softest sound, and Adam's smile is slight.

"It's oddly cold in here."

I agree. Even with the heat on, it still felt chilly. I move closer so I can wrap my arms around him, and he mirrors my collapse against him. We fall into overstuffed pillows and stiff sheets, and he manages to grasp the comforter up with one hand and pull it over us.

"This is…interesting here."

Adam voice is drowned out by the beating of his heart, and he shifts to glance around the room again.

"It's very…. formal."

He's not wrong. This guest room is far unlike the bedroom in Amity. The bed is new, the sheets are sharp and cold, and the windows are covered with heavy blue drapes.

I like it in an entirely different way.

It feels safer here. We're up on the second floor, and the heavy doors that lead to this bedroom are set back so it would be hard to see them if you didn't know where to look. The room was heated by electric heat, humming along into the night without our help.

The differences might have been striking, but Adam holds onto me just as tightly as he did back in Amity. My head is against his chest, resting there while he gets comfortable, and he fidgets until he can slide his fingers under my shirt. His breathing is slow and even, but not as easy as it should be.

It might be the marks across his chest. I immediately dislike this new bruising. I hadn't seen it earlier, but now that his shirt is off, I can. There are dark marks across his ribs, slicing into tender skin leaving an ugly bruise. I could almost feel the burn of each one, and just how painful the blows would have been.

My fingers skim close to the edge of one, not wanting to cause any more hurt, but wishing there was something I could do to get rid of them. If I had more energy I'd go find Daniel, because he had to have something to put on them.

"He's going to tell me I should have done more. Or that he wouldn't have been afraid…" Adam trails off and his confession hangs there between us. I knew he had been afraid, because I had, too, but I felt like it was pretty excusable.

He doesn't seem to think so.

He rests his hands on my back, curling in as he tries to move me closer.

I can't get any closer.

I'm completely against him, my legs slid through his and my arms around him. I can feel every beat of his heart, every deep inhale, and every long exhale, and the unfair worry that's beginning.

"None of this is your fault," I promise, and I have a feeling he's going to believe it is until proven otherwise. "Adam, I swear Marcus would have found you one way or another. He would have waited until he found you alone. Maybe on some patrol. Maybe outside of Dauntless. It doesn't even matter where. He would have done the same thing to make you think he needed help, and then, who knows? Maybe I wouldn't have been there, or maybe he would have killed you. And then…"

I stop talking, because the rest of my sentence makes my stomach turn over.

"I shouldn't have believed him." Adam tightens his grip on me, grasping on so tightly it nearly hurts, but I don't mind. I had been terrified while we were out there, and the feeling of his hands on my skin reassures me I'm alive. "He's still out there you know."

"It's okay. You didn't have any reason not to believe him," I lift my head up to look at him, hoping he'll believe me. The angle is awkward, but I'm rewarded with him glancing down at me, and he looks less upset than before. "After we have the official medical clearance, we'll go home and things will go back to normal. Whatever that normal is. Someone will find Marcus and we won't have to worry about him."

There's cowardice in that statement, but also a sense of realization that this was bigger than me. I couldn't take Marcus down on my own, not even with Adam's help. This would take someone who knew him, or knew how to get to him first.

"I wonder if our class is done," Adam yawns, and I'm relieved when he shifts his focus to initiation and less on his father. I feel his fingers slide up my back, the touch softening slightly, and I know he won't stay awake much longer. "Or what they're doing. I bet everyone already moved on to where they're going to live."

"Oh, probably."

I hadn't given that much thought. Back in Amity, my father announced the initiation was almost over. I didn't know what we'd missed, but I knew the rankings would be posted, there would be a celebration, and we'd get to choose apartments. I'd told my mother I was going to live alone, but Marcus trying to kill me would change everything. My father would immediately declare living by myself to be unsafe, especially now.

He couldn't force me to stay living with him, but I'd have to work fast considering I didn't know anything about finding an apartment.

"Eva…"

Adam says my name so quietly I almost can't hear him, but he doesn't finish what he's saying. He falls asleep a second later, his fingers lessening their grip just enough that I know he's no longer awake, and his whole body relaxes.

Mine does, too.

I fall asleep right along with him, finally warm, and finally less afraid than I was before.

* * *

The yelling starts sometime in the morning.

I open my eyes to a still dark room, the heat working to keep it warm, and Adam half on top of me. I close my eyes in hopes that I'm dreaming, but I'm not.

The yelling continues; it's muffled and incomprehensible, but loud enough that I know someone has shown up, and they aren't very happy.

"Your dad or mine?" Adam mumbles into my hair, and he doesn't make any move to get up. He pushes himself closer, his body heavy and hot and his limbs pinning me in place, and I have no chance of figuring out who's downstairs.

"I think it's mine," I answer lowly, completely unprepared to face him. The yelling didn't sound good, in fact, it sounded pretty ragey. It echoed up the stairs, all the way to the door of the bedroom. It wasn't getting any fainter, either. In fact, it grew louder as whoever it was became more and more worked up.

"He sounds really happy," I sigh, and I'm not sure how I'll find the energy to even go down there and see what's going on. "What time is it?"

"I don't know," Adam answers, and he shares my lack of desire to go downstairs. He moves himself off me, but then immediately pulls me back against his chest. "We could always pretend we aren't here."

I let out a huff of laughter, because while appealing, the idea won't fly.

The yelling grows louder, so loud that there's a shuffle, another shriek, and a large crash that forces me up and out of bed.

* * *

"**THEY COULD HAVE DIED**!"

The yelling belongs to pretty much everyone I know, but one person in particular.

My father.

By the time I make it to the stairs, my grandparents' entryway is crowded with angry guests. My dad is the first one I see, dressed and stalking around like he's looking for someone to murder. I watch him yell at Ally for coming too close to him, and he tells her if she doesn't bring me to him, he'll accept her head as a substitute.

Ally is rightfully terrified. She's saved by my mother pulling my father away and hissing for him to stop threatening people. My mom somehow forcibly drags him over to stand by Tris, a funny sight considering he's twice their size and still snarling for someone to find me. He only quiets down when Tris asks where Adam is, fully expecting my father to have an answer by now. She's off to the side, glancing around miserably and trying to stay out of the way, and her expression grows even more stressed when my dad snaps at her that if he knew, he wouldn't be waiting here now would he?!

Behind them are more people.

Jason, trying to help Karl fix a large painting that had either fallen or been ripped down off the wall. They take a step back to admire their work, but the painting tilts, then falls back to the ground to recreate the same crash as before.

"Well, shit." Jason swears, and he looks at Karl. "Do you know how to fix it?"

"I uh..." Karl looks at him in surprise, and he shakes his head furiously. "Actually, you know what? I have no clue. The pictures I have at home aren't life sized or this heavy. I have no idea how this was held in place."

My grandfather looks around the entry of his house and his eyes are wide. He takes in everyone, specifically Karl and Jason, and sighs heavily. He then promises them it's fine, that the portrait of his parents can no doubt be fixed, and he offers to make everyone some coffee.

My other grandfather is here, too. He's dressed all in black and looking unquestionably bored as he examines the wallpaper. Behind him, my grandmother is talking with Camille while Forrest also examines the wallpaper, his eyes narrowing critically as though he were an expert on home décor.

He and my grandfather both make a face at each other, but they immediately agree to Daniel's offer of coffee.

The others mill around unsure what to do. A few are soldiers from Dauntless and a few are men and women from Amity. Ally stays by the side, begging Jason to just leave the picture alone, but he ignores her. They try once more, and everyone watches Karl and Jason drop the picture for a third time and then jump away when the glass cracks.

The last person to wander in is the security guard from last night.

He spies us right as my grandfather announces the coffee will be out shortly, and his gaze flashes with recognition. He's knocked out of the way by Forrest asking how the security gates work, then Harrison asking what the fail rate on them is.

There's another round of arguing when Jason announces the gates wouldn't withstand much of an attack, and I take a step back up the stairs, unprepared to go down and face our families.

I had imagined our return to Dauntless would be chaotic, and it was.

I just hadn't imagined it happening in Erudite.

"Uh, should we go down there? Or should we just…let them come find us…" Adam half whispers, and I know he shares my urge to retreat back to the guest room.

"I think we have to see them," I answer him reluctantly, and my fingers cling to the bannister. "Or they'll come up here."

"You're looking for them, right? They showed up last night, looking like hell. Those two up there."

The security guard grows tired of everyone around him and he points to us. He speaks so loudly it echoes in the grand foyer, and everyone's head turns in our direction. They all stop what they're doing the minute they realize Adam and I are standing there, frozen halfway down the stairs staring back at them.

"Eva?"

"Adam?"

A half second later, we are mobbed by everyone, and the picture crashes to the floor once more, completely shattering.

* * *

"Are you okay? Like, really okay? Because if you aren't, I can sneak us out of here. I know there's a backdoor somewhere." My mother whispers while she hugs me, clutching my hair and preventing my father from hauling us away. Every so often, her fingers graze over my cheek, not quite daring to touch where I'd been hit. "I can try and drive us back."

"I'm okay, I swear," I answer, squished between her and her mother. They are both looking at me carefully, and my grandmother is staring at the stitches and sighing more than I'd like. "Do you even know how to drive?"

"No," my mother shrugs, and her grip on me tightens. "But it looks easy enough. I bet I could figure it out."

"Everly, you can't drive her home. I don't need you both dying this morning. I've been through enough as it is."

My father's commentary is dark, heavy with sarcasm and irritation. He's been relegated to sitting; his own father forced him not to stomp around and destroy anything, and firmly made him choose a seat at the dining table and stay there. Now he sits across from me, reclined back in his seat in a way that announces he's not going to hurt anyone, but he could if he wanted to. Or if his father was gone long enough.

"Eric, no one is dying," My mother gently reminds him, but she sounds like she's trying to convince herself of this. "They got away. That's all that matters."

"Sure," my father shrugs, accepting this as if my mother had told him it was sunny outside. "I suppose that's one way to look at it."

"Eric!" My mother hisses his name, and both of my grandmothers frown at him.

So far, this reunion was not going great.

My mother and father had reached me at the same exact same time. There was a momentary struggle over who got to make sure I was alive first, and my mother won out. There was a burst of horror when she saw what Marcus had done, and though she had me in her arms, she reeled back to examine my head. Her lips parted in disbelief, and I knew what she was looking at it. The bruise on my face looked worse than it did last night but Daniel promised me it would fade quick.

Just as I predicted, my father was losing his mind with every passing second. From beside her, he swore frequently, furious that I'd been hurt, furious that Adam had been hurt, then pointing out that no one knew if Marcus was alive or not. He announced the same for Peter, crossing his arms over his chest and retreating down the steps. He paused to look at Adam, his grey eyes flashing so darkly I thought he might actually pass out from his rage, then he stalked away without even trying to hug me.

For a heart shattering minute, I thought he really and truly was mad at me.

Once we looked eyes, I knew it was the exact opposite.

He was afraid.

Very afraid.

And he didn't know how to handle it.

"Where's Four?" I ask my mother quietly, and her eyes flick over to Tris.

The absence of Adam's father spoke volumes, though it was probably for the best right now. Adam was sitting safely between my grandfathers, carefully sharing every detail they might find helpful, and his mother sat a seat away. She had managed to hug him, but it was quick and not the reunion she was hoping for. She, too, had an expression of panic at seeing her only son bruised at the hands of his grandfather. She reached for him, her fingers missing his arm by millimeters, and Adam was pulled away by Forrest.

He was nearly knocked over when Forrest tackled him in an attempt to see if he was okay, and that was it. My grandfathers stepped in –Harrison wanting to know every single second of what had happened, and Daniel listening with a horrified look on his face as the real story was revealed, and Tris was relegated to the side.

Every so often one of my grandfathers would interject something. Harrison's commentary was a little more violent, while Daniel made a checklist of all the new things he might need to treat.

Jason and Karl sat on either side of them, patiently giving Adam the support, he needed to explain why he'd gone with Marcus. My father sat in the middle listening to both sides and ignoring Tris.

"Eric…" my mother says his name, hoping he'll look over at us, but he doesn't. He takes a minute to examine the table, then glances up boredly, as though Adam wasn't currently explaining that Marcus had waved a gun at us.

"Dad are you okay?"

I look directly at my father, watching him sink down so low in his chair that he looks comical, and he shakes his head.

"No, Eva, I am not okay."

He then sits back up, the chair creaking with the force of him moving, and I half expect him to leap across the table and knock my mother away from me. She must be thinking the same thing. She holds onto me tighter, and my grandmother scoots closer, her posture defensive.

"Yesterday, I got a call from Four yelling that he'd gotten a call from you. Something about going somewhere and he wasn't sure where anyone was. Then he swore you said the word Marcus, and perhaps I should check on that." My father announces this loudly, pausing when everyone turns to look at him. "So I did. Jason and I went to look at the cameras and once we backtracked, we discovered all sort of things happening. Eva, walking by herself to the dome, in the snow. Harrison, trapping what appeared to be a turkey at the opposite end of Amity."

"A wild turkey. He was picking on the chickens," my grandpa offers, shrugging like my father should have known this. "You're more than welcome to come over for dinner, by the way. I was thinking we'd have him tonight."

My grandmother picks that moment to return with tea for her and my grandma, and she looks horrified by what she's walked into.

"Um, Eden here. I brought you some honey, too."

"Is it organic?" Forrest leans closer to my grandma, inspecting the tea tray like it was a wild animal. "Or did you make it in your lab?"

"Well, uh…Forrest…" my grandmother smiles, but her head tilts and her eyes narrow. "I don't have a lab nor do the Erudite labs spend their days making honey. I bought it at the store, and I'm assuming it came from your own faction."

"Alright, just curious. Could be mind control honey."

"Mind control honey?" I stare at Forrest like he's insane, and he makes a face at me.

"It could happen. Dad told me about the serums they once made. All kinds of weird stuff. At any rate, I'm glad you're alive, Eva. Adam, you too. We were all worried. Almost all of Amity went to look for you."

"Which leads me to my next point," my father interrupts and his expression is dark and not just because Forrest stopped to ask about the honey. "By the time we realized we were watching Eva and Adam walk off with someone who we could only assume to be Marcus, it was too late. I called Harrison we both tried to tell Four where to go. He was on his way to Amity with a few men, but everyone from Amity had trampled through the fields looking for Eva and Adam. They effectively ruined any trace they might have left."

"We were in the woods forever," I shake my head, wondering how on Earth they missed us. "Wouldn't they have seen us or heard us?"

"They got close to where we think you were. The men from Amity found the boxes you both were carrying but the tracks go in every direction. They followed one set as far into the woods as they could go, but the stopped at the river. They figured you were both dead. By that point, it was too dark to see anything. They relayed everything to us as soon as they were certain you were missing. The call came back that there was no sight of you. Not by anyone from Amity and not by anyone from Dauntless."

"Oh no," I blurt out, and across the table, Tris stares at the wood. I notice she hasn't said a single word since everyone started talking, and she seems to shrink the longer she sits there. "But…Four and the men from Dauntless?"

"All have been reported missing since yesterday," my father responds evenly, and he leans back in his seat to look at my mother. They seem to having some silent, telepathic conversation, but it ends quickly. "We sent a squad out this morning. We've been in contact with every faction. As of now, there's no sign of Four or his team."

"He's missing?" Adam leans away from my grandfather to look at him, and for a few seconds, they stare at each other. "Harrison?"

"Were this any other time, I'd make a joke about Four losing to the turkey," my grandfather flashes a quick wink at me, then he sighs. "But unfortunately, Eric is right. We accompanied the Dauntless patrols today, and there was no sign of him or Marcus. The assumption is one of them killed the other, or they wound up in the river. We're hoping Four had the upper hand, but don't have anything to prove that. We've still got men and women searching, but so far, we've come up empty handed except for some very minor evidence."

"None of you are worried about this?" I ask, and my mother pulls me back against her. She smells like home, like pretty flowers and our apartment and the very feeling of living in Dauntless, and her head touches mine. "How are you all here? Why is no one out there looking for Four? Tris are you…"

I can't bring myself to say anything, because I had been wrong.

I thought it was bad enough that Marcus had nearly killed Adam and me, but our escape from him would be worthless if he'd killed Adam's father.

Tris finally looks at me, her eyes dark and wet, and I know it's not good.

"I'm…I'm not alright, but Four knows what he's doing. If anything, I expect he'll return to Dauntless soon and tell us Marcus is dead. I can't imagine the other outcome. I can't…" Tris stops. She bows her head down, and my father looks down at her with mild concern.

"He'll be fine. If he can survive working with Rylan, he can survive being lost in Amity for a few hours," my father offers, shrugging with as much sympathy as he can muster. Across the table, my mother must be glaring at him because he glares back at her. "What? I'm being supportive. You said be supportive. Four isn't a total moron. He can hang out in a tree until I can find him."

"Eric," my mother hisses, and normally, someone would be laughing. "This isn't the time for your witty remarks. Four is missing and you know damn well Marcus would kill him if he got the chance. Eva, we're all here because Daniel called last night and told us you were alive. No one wanted to stay behind because we'd spent a few hours thinking you were dead. We left Zander in charge, so hopefully the faction is still standing when we return."

"Oh," I deflate, and I wonder where on Earth Four and the missing men were. "You really think Four is okay?"

"I'm sure he's fine," my mother answers, and she pulls me back closer. "Eric, you also think he's…alive, right?"

To his credit, my father nods his head and keeps his mouth shut.

Something else nags at me, and I look over at Jason and Karl.

"Hey, where is Rylan?" I ask, untangling myself from my mother and reaching for the coffee someone had brought me. His presence was noticeably absent, especially now that it was quiet. I half expected him to pop out of nowhere, with a smart aleck comment about Four or Amity or Marcus, but I'm met with silence. Everyone looks at each other rather than me, until my dad clears his throat.

"He uh, he went along with Four. They're both missing." My father's answer makes my stomach sink. He looks miserable, and when his grey eyes find mine, they are heavy with unease. "You and Adam are coming back to Dauntless tonight. No more of this."

His words are final. The practically slam down onto the table along with his fist, and this time, no one dares argues with him.

Not even Daniel.

* * *

The goodbyes take forever.

Daniel and Camille are reasonably upset, but they handle it gracefully. They both offer their help in finding Four and Rylan, and my grandpa looks especially upset over Rylan being missing. Harrison and Eden mirror their exact sentiments, though they try once more to get Adam and I back in Amity, even at the risk of pissing off my father.

It's a very dark no from him, and this time, my mother agrees.

"They should come home. I know you all took great care of them, but…it's too nerve wracking to have them not in the faction with us."

My mother tries to explain this gently, careful not to upset them and doing her best to make sure they understand it's not them, but the fact that things were too up in the air. She goes on to say if Marcus is still alive, he could easily show back up.

My grandmother looked at me then, her eyes widening slightly, and I knew she hadn't told anyone that not only had Marcus been in Amity, but he'd been in their kitchen.

She and my grandpa finally agreed we should go home, and my mother hugged each of them for a long time. They are pacified by her words, but Forrest is visibly upset when Adam says goodbye, and the men from Amity look defeated as well.

"Promise me you'll come back soon. Or if Eric won't let you leave, we'll come to you." Forrest shakes his hand, then forgoes the formal exchange by wrapping his arms around Adam so he can't move and whispering in his ear.

Adam laughs, his face brightening at whatever Forrest is saying, and they part ways as though they'd been friends forever.

I'm brought back to Earth when Daniel hugs me so tightly it hurts. His shirt is freshly pressed and stiff against my cheek, and he holds onto me until I agree. We both know that it'll be a while before Adam and I can go anywhere, but I wouldn't come back to Erudite to stay with him for a few days. "Eva, please keep me updated on how you two are feeling. If your dad won't let you stay here, I can come to Dauntless. Anything you need, just promise me you'll call."

"I promise."

"Did he propose yet?" My grandpa says this low enough so only I can hear, and I would bet he's looking back at Adam. "He was absolutely distraught that you'd think this whole thing was his fault. He said if anything, Marcus should have taken him and not you. I figured he'd at least bring it up when you went to bed."

"You guys talked?" I pick my head up off Daniel's chest, and he smiles down at me. I've always liked how organized he is. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of my father. Even in this hectic morning, his appearance was neat and well put together. His hair was perfectly parted and held in place, his glasses were spotless and heavy, and even his posture was perfect. "When you went to see how he was?"

"Yes. I have the sneaking suspicion he has some internal bruising, but he claimed he was fine and just wanted to go lie down. He's very attached to you. His whole concern was that you'd never speak to him again."

I stare at my grandpa and in the background, Adam is a blur. I can make out that he's now standing and talking with my father and Jason. His posture is way more casual than it has been; his hands are in his pockets, he shrugs a few times, and once, when my father says something I can't hear, Adam smiles. It's not entirely a happy grin, but the sight is reassuring.

"I'm not mad at him. I thought for sure we'd both wind up dead." I try to listen to what my father is saying, but all I hear is the word administration, and I realize it's probably him explaining that he's contacted someone to deactivate my life until Marcus has been found. "He didn't say anything to me about… proposing…."

I trail off, not sure what I even would have done if he had brought it up. I hadn't been so sure I wanted Adam to ever propose. The thought of marrying him felt like something that would be mocked forever, even if I did love him. We'd never live down the stigma of who our parents are or the names they'd given us. We'd never escape hearing the story of how we'd grown up together or taken naps together or how Adam had been my first and best friend in the whole world and how it wasn't truly our feelings, but some dumb joke from our parents.

But the thought of being apart from him, if one day he did decide he wanted to be married and I turned him down, was enough to make me reconsider.

Even at eighteen.

I close my eyes for a second, thinking I must be delirious.

"I promise if he does propose, I'll tell you first. I haven't forgotten." I hug my grandfather again, so tightly that my ribs hurt, and I stay there like I need to memorize this moment.

I don't.

There will be plenty more with him, but right now, I am eternally grateful that he looked out for Adam without question.

"I love you, Eva. Call me when you get to Dauntless so I know your father hasn't hidden you somewhere ridiculous." Daniel finally lets go of me, and his smile is sad. "I hope he lets you two come back here. We really enjoyed having you stay with us." He glances over at Harrison, sizing him up even though there is absolutely no way to compare them, and he sighs. "Next time, we want a week."

"You'll have to get it approved through my dad," I laugh, feeling marginally better than I had a few minutes ago. "I'll miss you. Maybe you can convince him we need a break this spring."

"I'm on it."

And that's it.

The goodbyes end with Daniel stepping aside so my grandma can hug me goodbye while Camille hugs Adam goodbye. I'm swallowed by dark fabric and a purple scarf, and my grandmother asks me to call her when I get home. She and Harrison are quick and reasonably bummed out that we'll be going to Dauntless, but there's no way they can convince my parents otherwise. They say their goodbyes to my father's parents as we walk out, thanking them for the tea and coffee, and telling them their house is lovely.

"Mostly lovely. The wallpaper is a bit much. Gave me vertigo looking at it," Harrison mumbles, and next to him, Forrest agrees.

"Yeah, I almost barfed. Thanks Mr. and Mrs. Coulter! It was a pleasure. And thanks for the book, too! I heard this was a good one!" Forrest waves enthusiastically, holding a large thick book in his hand, and I wonder if he's suddenly taken an interest in brain surgery.

That might prove not great for the Amity faction.

"Let me know what you think of it. Come by next time you're close by!" My grandpa calls back, and Harrison rolls his eyes as helps my grandmother climb into the truck.

"Oh yeah, like Forrest just wanders into Erudite for espresso in his free time." He closes the truck door, then salutes Daniel. "Till next time, Daniel."

"Goodbye, Harrison."

They have a strange, silent stand off as they both look at each other. I watch them as my father practically picks me up and puts me in the truck, finally satisfied that I'm going home. I half expect my mother to climb in beside me, but she doesn't. She stands outside talking to Tris, and Adam slides into the seat before anyone can say anything.

"Can you believe that, less than twenty-four hours ago, we were swimming in an icy river, trying not to get shot?"

Adam scoots close to me, so close that his thigh touches mine, and his knees are way higher. He grins down at me, taking my hands into his, and just like that, it's only him and me in the truck.

The thought of his father being missing is momentarily forgotten as outside, someone yells something about a wild boar.

"No. I had somehow forgotten about nearly dying of hypothermia and getting hit in the head by a dead tree." I smile up at him, and he lets out a snicker of laughter. "Are you ready to go home?"

"You know, as much as I enjoyed our time away, I think I am."

The door to the truck slams shut with a bang, like someone is afraid we'll get out and decide to leave, and there's muffled conversation that we can't hear. A second later my mother appears in the front, and she scoots close to my father. The act seems romantic and sweet, but she's only doing it so he'll turn the heat on.

He very unwillingly does.

The ride back to Dauntless is quiet, but warm, and no one says anything until we arrive at the large gates guarding the faction.

* * *

Our return is hardly triumphant.

We are greeted by what looks like half the control room. Kacie stands there with a row of soldiers behind her, and she welcomes us back with a tight smile.

We walk in behind my parents, Tris, Jason, Karl, and the men who had accompanied them to Erudite. My father leads the way, breezing through the security clearance without stopping and gesturing for all of us to follow him.

I hang back when I hear one of the women saying there's been no contact with Four. She's trying to speak softly, but her words echo in the large room and she looks over at Adam and I with a panicked frown. She composes herself quickly, then she explains they've tried everything: tracking his phone, calling, texting, searching the security feeds for him, and sending out patrols in rotating, overlapping shifts to search the woods. Kacie listens, then adds that they've started to search Candor as well, but Jack is demanding to speak to my father immediately.

All of this makes my stomach knot up. I turn back to catch a final glimpse of the outside world disappearing beneath the large docking bay doors like I fully expect Four to come walking back in, and Adam stops to wait. I catch him staring at me, just like back in the guest room, and I wonder if he's worried about his father. The last I knew, they hadn't really spoken. Things between them had been especially tense since we started initiation. We all knew Four had high expectations for Adam, and those expectations weren't anything Adam wanted.

I now knew all he really wanted was to feel loved.

It was the same way Daniel and Camille sat up late at night, drinking their fancy tea and overpriced coffee in delicate cups while a fire roared in a fireplace taller than I was. The same way Harrison and Eden spent their days in Amity together, strolling through the flower gardens they planted, cheerfully avoiding the bear traps and fending off wild beasts. The same way my father smiled at my mother, really smiled at her –not just an arrogant smirk or a snicker when she rolled her eyes at him, but really and truly smiled, because she loved him and no one else.

Adam wanted someone who wasn't going to blame or judge him, and who simply liked Adam for the person he was.

I could do that.

Whole heartedly.

I had a feeling his father loved him, too, even if Adam didn't think so.

"Are you coming?"

I turn to see Adam right next to me, and up ahead, I hear my father yelling for us. He waits impatiently, staring us down with a vengeance, and he waits until he's sure I'm not lagging behind.

"Yeah, I was just thinking about something…"

It's a lousy answer.

The better thing to do would be to take his hand in mine, slip my fingers through his until our palms touched, and walk back into Dauntless together. It feels like forever since we left with our class but coming back together gives me the strange feeling that things will be different from here on out.

It doesn't take very long to prove I'm right.

* * *

"Was it huge?"

Rachel stares at me, eyes blinking rapidly as she takes in the large apartment with thinly veiled jealousy. She leans against the counter, and her eyes are glued to the bruise on my face. Then she remembers she's polite, and she forces herself to look somewhere else. "I've heard your grandma and grandpa have an amazing house in Amity. I mean, no one ever invited me whenever you guys went, but I would have liked to go."

She pauses, her frame looking thinner than when I last saw her, but stronger. Her hair is twisted up in two buns, and her leggings are ripped at the knees. It's a different look than I remember her having, but I would guess it coincided with the large ring on her right hand.

"Eva…"

Everything is different.

It might have just been me, feeling like I was entering a strange upside down world after spending so much time in Amity. My time in Erudite had been fleeting, but even that had kept me away from the dark underground faction I called home. I had found myself shivering as we walked further into the compound and squinting as my eyes tried to adjust to the lower lighting. I caught my shoe on one of the rockier steps and was saved by Jason and Adam grabbing me before I could fall to my death.

I tried to force the memory of how familiar all this should be. I'd long skipped up those very steps, wearing a too short dress and Adam's jacket while I dashed home hoping to beat my father there. I'd long walked dark hallways in dim lighting, unafraid of what came around the corner. I knew the fastest way to the kitchens, the longest way home from the roof and the routes where the security cameras didn't work.

Adam had taught me that one.

Our teen years might have been awkward and strange, but we spent a lot of time heading home, and he was often unwilling to return to his parents any sooner than necessary. He liked to stall, taking us through a maze of hallways and groaning metal staircases, all under the guise of not wanting to be seen by those in the control room.

We walked up one of those sets of stairs tonight, and right into a familiar face.

Rachel was the first person to realize we were back, and she practically leapt out of the alcove to get to me. She hugged me fiercely, whispering to come find her as soon as I could, and let go only because Aja arrived to take her to lunch. His face lit up when he saw Adam, but it fell when my father escorted us around the corner and to the elevators with one tense scowl.

Our walk to our respective homes was pretty quiet. Tris and my mother talked between themselves, and I didn't want to listen. Tris' voice wavered as she debated going to find Four herself, and my mother held her arm as she fumbled to look for her key card.

"I'll go with you if you want. You went with me to find Eric. It's only fair."

My father's head whipped around so fast it was as if he were possessed. He roared my mother's name along with more than a few swear words, then told the two of them the best thing they could do for Four was to stay put.

Adam and I wisely avoided getting involved in this argument.

We could have insisted upon going back to the river, because that was where Marcus had been shooting at someone. There was a chance it had been Four, but I knew I'd have better luck asking my father if he was okay if I moved to Amity than asking to go with them to investigate.

We split up when Tris got to her apartment, and Adam went over to her without being asked. He stood there while she tried to swipe her card, then very carefully took it from her when the door refused to open.

"I can do it."

It was an odd moment, watching him help his mother while she struggled to hold it together. She looked up at him with the saddest of all smiles, and they disappeared into the dark.

I followed my parents into our apartment, but only for a second.

Turns out, I was wrong about one thing.

I wasn't going to be living with them.

My mother explained this quickly, heading to the counter to pick up an envelope. She told me they didn't want me leaving Dauntless for any reason, but they also knew living with them would feel suffocating. My mother grinned widely as she congratulated me on ranking second, having scored only behind Adam, and told me to enjoy the new living space I'd been assigned.

"You're sure you didn't pick it out?" I asked, but I was in total shock. Hours ago, I'd been presumed dead. Even if just for a minute, that had to cause enough panic that I was sure I'd never get to leave their apartment, no matter what I ranked.

Now I was being handed a key to my own apartment.

"No, they assign them! Not that I ever had one assigned to me." My mother looked pleased, and in the background, my father closed his eyes and pressed on his temples. "But your father did go down there and talk to the people in the administrative office. And he did insist that you not live in some shitty apartment on a floor where we can't find you."

"Where is it at?" I stared at the key in my hand, the name _Evangelina Coulter_ neatly printed on the black card, and I felt oddly euphoric. "You're really letting me move out?"

"You can stay if you want," my father pointed out with his eyes still shut. "But we thought you might want some space. Though you have to promise me you'll go see Arlene and make sure nothing is broken."

There was a small part of me that didn't want to leave. I had stared at him, his blonde hair cut short on the sides and slicked over on the top, his uniform crisply ironed, and his boots tightly laced, and I felt homesick while standing in my own home. I had spent countless hours with my father, watching our favorite shows, cooking dinners together, and eating while he ranted about how many breaks the newer office staff took.

It felt odd to think I wouldn't wake up to find the notes he'd written –ones more or less demanding I stay alive or else, or to see him pretending to turn the heat on so my mother would quit asking.

"Will you show me where it is?"

He had.

They both had, but my mother left when her phone rang and it was someone from Amity with a tiny speck of news. My father hadn't stayed long either, but he did show me that I lived a whopping eight doors down. I could easily run to their apartment if I needed to, but there was enough distance that I didn't feel like I was living next door.

The apartment was larger than I expected, and set up differently than my parent's. It was mostly furnished with pieces nicer than anyone else would have gotten. In the living room, there was a large black couch, a tv screen set up so I could watch whatever I wanted, and towering bookshelves. There was a dining room table, a kitchen that was spotless and shiny, and a hallway led to two bedrooms. One was much larger than the other, and that one held my bed. They must have worked quickly to get everything in here and set up. The closet held all of my clothes, sundresses I'd inherited from my mother, plenty of shirts and leggings, and finally, Adam's jacket, hung right up in the middle.

There was a second wave of homesickness, not for my old bedroom, but for him.

I'd have the luxury of spending my days with just Adam, and it felt wrong he wasn't here with me.

There were other things I'd noticed that were the work of my mother, and they eased the weight of Adam being with his mom. A pretty mirror that had no doubt been purchased from the market, new shoes, all kinds of shampoo and conditioner, and an oversized pink blanket on the dresser. There were flowers beside it and an envelope that I would guess held a second keycard that opened up this apartment.

I had planned on opening it, until Rachel showed up to question me about my grandparent's house.

Funny enough, that felt just as invasive as her asking about my parent's sex life.

"It's a nice house. My grandpa has worked on it for years," I answer, and her eyes light up. "What did I miss while I was gone? Anything good?"

"What did you miss or what did you and _Adam_ miss?" Rachel cuts right to the chase, and she emphasizes Adam. "How the hell did Eaton hightail it out of Dauntless and get to spend a week in Amity? We had to finish with Zander, who has been a miserable grump since you didn't come back."

"Why is he miserable?" I lean against the counter myself, thinking I should offer her something to drink. But I'm not even sure if I have any cups. "Is he okay?"

I feel awkward even asking, though Rachel had been a really good friend to me. In an odd turn of events, she and I had gotten fairly close during initiation –especially since Kat had avoided me like the plague.

It's obvious Rachel does, too.

She stares at me with a funny look on her face, then averts her stare completely.

"Sorry," I shake my head as I step closer. "I don't even know where to start. Everything feels so weird. It's like I've been gone forever. Everything that happened in Amity was insane and now I'm back here, and I feel like I don't know where I fit. I don't even know where you live or…that you're…. engaged."

"Eva!" Rachel looks ready to either smack me or laugh, but I'm relieved when she smiles. "We'll talk about me later. Everyone was going nuts that you guys were gone. They're so happy you're back and alive. We heard you guys were attacked. Aja and Gunner wanted to go help, but they told us we all had to stay here and finish. Don't feel weird. And…I'm surprised your mom didn't tell you, but Kat dumped Zander right before initiation ended. Like, right in the middle of the Pit."

"What!?" I shriek the word, totally thrown off by this news. My brand new apartment pales in comparison to this, because Kat and Zander had been grossly in love with each other, and last I'd heard, he'd promised he'd never dump her. "They broke up? Is he…?"

"Barely hanging on? Yes. Did he take it out on us? Also yes. Did you know he made us work out for twelve hours one day? I couldn't even walk home I was so tired. Aja and I fell asleep on the mats and woke up to your dad yelling that he wasn't above killing Zander himself if he didn't send everyone home right then and there."

"Oh shit," I can't help but laugh, and even Rachel cracks a grin. "What's Zander doing now?"

"Drinking. Banging his way through a few girls to get over the heartache of Kat dumping him. I don't know. I tried to talk to her, but she's turned into a total recluse since that day. She took a job with one of the patrols and no one has really seen her since."

My eyes widen, and Rachel shrugs.

"Honestly, Eva, I'm pretty sure they're still together. I think he's been going to see her and try to win her back. It's a very…tortured time for him. I did see him last week and he said he hoped you were alive."

"Well that's nice," I roll my eyes, but I had a different sort of understanding of how he was feeling. "I hope it works out for them"

"I'm sure it will."

We both fall silent, staring at the pristine counter and the soft kitchen towels someone had left as a gift. They are a very pretty white color, and the note beside them suggests they're from Adam's mom.

"Rachel, I'm really happy you came by. Do you want to see the rest of the apartment? Or should I tell you about what happened?

Rachel looks at me, her blonde hair shiny and pretty, and shakes her head no.

"No. I mean, yes, I do want to see your apartment but not now. I heard your mom bought you all kinds of stuff because she and Christina were in the stores looking for pillows or something for a housewarming gift. But I don't want to hear about that." Rachel flashes me a very knowing smile and I should have guessed what's coming next. "I want to hear what you and Adam did in Amity. And I'm not talking about running through the forest or hanging out with your grandpa."

I laugh, because not only do I know there's no way of getting out of this, it feels downright normal to come right back to her interrogations.

I give in, because normalcy feels good right now, and that's all I have.

* * *

"Are you on birth control?"

Rachel lounges on the large black couch, her shoes off and her feet curled beneath her. Next to her is Pink, busy examining the book on my table until the question catches her interest.

"Yes! I got the shot during training," I remind them both, because their stares are pretty concerned. They look at each other, and I feel slightly insulted at their clear bond. "Okay, don't look at each other like that. We all went to the nurse. I got it then. Or, she told me it was a birth control shot."

"Arlene?" Pink asks, flipping through the pages quickly. "Okay, I love you Eva, but there is no way on Earth that woman gave you anything even remotely close to birth control. We all heard that she was practically arranging your parent's marriage the day your mom got here. I'm sure she's made a deal with the devil to stay alive long enough to see you marry Adam."

"Wait, you don't think it was the real shot?" I stare back in horror, and there's some very genuine panic rising up as I try to remember exactly how many times Adam and I had sex. "Fuck, I should call my mom."

The both look at me with blank stares, and I throw my hands up.

"Okay, my mother knows about birth control. I'll just ask her if what I had was the right one."

"She told us about the note she wrote you," Rachel sweetly announces, and I have the urge to storm eight doors down and demand some answers right now. "She also told us she never once remembered to take any sort of birth control and it's a miracle you don't have a dozen brothers and sisters."

"Gross," I groan, closing my eyes and pretending this conversation isn't happening. "Okay, well now what? We didn't use anything in Amity and I'm not even sure he would know where to get…"

"Condoms?" Pink sets the book down, not having any desire to read the story of a serial killer that my father kindly thought was an appropriate book for a coffee table. "He knew where to get them. Gunner told him where to buy them. He only knew because Rylan told him."

I can feel the color drain from my face.

"So you all just knew he was coming…"

"I mean, we assumed he was _coming_," Rachel snickers, and even Pink laughs. I throw the fluffy pink couch pillow at them both, but I'm not entirely that mad.

"Get out." I had figured someone had talked to Adam, and Gunner was a much better choice than Jason or Rylan. At the very least, his friends had clearly educated him, because he knew far more than I did. "I hate you both."

"Sorry! You should see your face right now," Pink laughs so hard it takes her a second to catch her breath. "Okay, okay, we were all really excited he went to find you. He was like, in the shittiest mood that Four made him come back here. They kept making these comments to each other and Adam just left Four standing there when he demanded Adam go home to the apartment. Adam joined us for dinner, but finally just got up and was like, I'm going to get Eva. When he didn't come back, we knew he was staying there and you guys were probably enjoying sleeping away from everyone else."

"It was really nice," I admit, ignoring their smug smiles. "You both would have taken the chance if you had it."

"Oh, one hundred percent we would have," Rachel elbows Pink, and they both look at me. "But we want the details. How does he look naked? Did you enjoy it? The first time I had sex with Aja lasted all of two minutes and my hair still got messed up."

"Sounds enjoyable there Rach," Pink answers casually, but she's also waiting. "Come on, Eva. You have to tell us something. We're your best and closest friends. Unless you want to call your mom and tell her. She probably wants to know, too. She told us Adam's name is…"

Pink stops, and clamps her mouth shut.

"Adam's name is what?" I glare at her, but there's some mild panic on her face. "Pink!"

"She's works really fast, Eva. Like, _really_ fast. I don't even think she slept last night to pull all this off. Once they knew you guys were alive, they decided to set all this up." Pink deflects the question, and gestures around the living room. "I mean, how does someone set up an entire apartment over night?"

"What about Adam's name?"

I stare her down, until finally, Pink caves.

Her answer is surprising, but ultimately not at all.

* * *

An hour later, the apartment is quiet.

I like it. I find it fairly soothing, though something nags at the back of my mind. I do my best to ignore it while I scroll through my phone in the bath, trying to catch up on everything I'd missed.

Which was a lot.

Along with my clothes from home, my mother and father had gotten my things from the dorm room, and everything was neatly put away. Most of my clothes were hung up, along with new clothes I didn't recognize –including an official uniform that looked oddly intimidating –and all of my personal belongings. I vaguely wondered who'd helped my mother move all this, but I didn't think about it for too long.

I was busy trying to figure out what to do next, or if there even was anything to do next.

I sink lower into the hot water, surrounded by bubbles and a few flower petals that were mixed in, and I read each and every message that's on my phone. I hadn't had it the entire time I was in Amity, and I'd figured it was lost. But it was waiting for me on the nightstand by my bed, fully charged and in one piece.

I started with the older messages first. Some were from initiation, when a few people didn't realize I was gone. There were dozens from Kat, first apologetic and pleading for me to understand what was going on, then angry and hurt that I hadn't answered. The tone changed once I hadn't returned from the War Games, and the most recent ones told me just what Rachel had said. She explained she had broken up with Zander when she realized it had cost her our friendship, and if I returned, she was hoping we'd be friends again.

The others.

Arlene.

Quinten.

Zander, asking if I had my phone.

Rylan, messaging me to say he knew I didn't have my phone but he was hella jealous I was in Amity and he was not.

A mass text from Karl on the family text thread he'd created, announcing he was having not one, but two girls and they were due in the next few months. That thread was lengthy, everyone congratulating him and Charlotte over and over, until my father wished him good luck with that, and the rest of the messages were laughing faces.

I read Pink's texts, telling me she missed me and she hoped Adam and I were alive. Rachel's messages, asking if I was okay, then replying to herself that duh, I clearly didn't have my phone because it was ringing right next to her and she hopes I'm alright.

One from TJ, saying he'd gotten my number from Jason and wanted to know if I'd like a dessert made to celebrate if I survived.

The final one was from Adam.

I saved it to read last, and I open it up to just a few words and my chest tightens.

There in tiny black text are the words _I miss you, Evangelina Coulter_.

The date above it tells me he sent it a few hours before he showed up in Amity. I smile dumbly at my phone, because he had called me by my full name, a name no one used. Even my father only said it when he wanted to be threatening, but Adam had said it a few times. Meaningful times. When we were little, laughing at how long it was and how hard it was to spell. When we were older, mocking me when everyone else got taller and I didn't.

When he fell asleep beside me on the couch at my parent's house, sick and tired, and thinking I wasn't hearing his confession.

I read it again, carefully typing back _I miss you, Adam Eaton_. I read it before I hit send, knowing full well his phone isn't on him. It was back in Amity, smashed into a million pieces by Marcus. That memory isn't a great one, so I put the phone on the shelf beside the tub, hoping it won't fall in, and I close my eyes and envision the text getting lost in a bunch of nowhere.

My mind starts to wander, and I end up thinking about where Adam is and what he's doing. I wonder if he'd shown his mother the bruises from Amity, of if he'd gone to try and find his father. That thought makes me panic, so much that I sit up suddenly, sloshing water everywhere.

He had gone to look for me, and there was a very good chance he might try to go find his dad. Especially if he felt like he had something to prove.

I decide to try and find him before he can go. I wash my hair as quickly as I can, and I climb out right as someone knocks on the door.

"Just a second!" I yell, grabbing a towel and hoping they can hear me. There's a pretty high chance they can't, because they knock again, and I rush out of my bedroom and down the hallway. I figure it's probably my mother, coming to see what I'm doing or maybe Rachel, having come back to get the full details of life with Adam in Amity.

I find out it's neither of them.

I fling the door open to some random guy standing there, and he looks surprised to see me.

It's probably the fact that I have nothing on but a towel.

"Can I help you?" I try to pull it tighter, regretting my decision to answer the door before getting dressed. "Hello?"

"Um, hey I'm…you're Eva, right?" The guy looks at me, and I realize he's vaguely familiar. Familiar as in, he looks like everyone else in Dauntless due to their burning desire to wear only black. "I…uh…just wanted to introduce myself. I live next door."

"Oh, hi. Yeah, I'm Eva," I stare back at him, trying to place how I know him. He's not hideous looking in any way, and in fact, if Kat were here, she'd be swooning over the fact that he's older and sort of oddly intense. His hair is longer and curly, and he dramatically flips it out of his eyes when he sees me looking at it. I'm not impressed at all, mostly because I want him to leave so I can get dressed. "Where do you live?"

"Right next door," he flashes me a blinding grin, and I'm reminded of Alex. "I'm Henry. Good friends with your dad."

I try not to laugh.

I could count on one hand the number of people my father was friends with, and this guy certainly wasn't one of them.

"Well, actually, I don't know him that well. I just started working with Four and I see Eric from time to time. I used to run into him when I was younger. I guess I told him I wanted his job and his wife when I was a kid." Henry smiles like this is hilarious, waiting for me to chime in with something.

I don't.

He's trying way too hard, and I would bet a million points my father did not appreciate whatever he said to him, child or no child.

"Great," I answer flatly, and I move to shut the door.

Henry stops me. He catches my unamused expression and holds both his hands up. "Okay, I know you're busy. I just heard you were moving in next door. Saw Eric telling someone how to move a couch and thought I'd come by and introduce myself."

"Cool, well good to know," I answer cheerfully, hoping he'll pick up on my desire for him to never knock on my door again. "Thanks for coming by."

"Sure," Henry answers smoothly, and he stares at me. Blatantly. "Hey, uh, I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

Henry turns around, annoyance creeping across his face at losing his lone chance of wooing the second version of my mother, and he full on drops his smile when he discovers Adam is behind him.

"I ate dinner with my mom. She's still…. pretty upset about my dad so it took longer to leave than planned."

Adam talks directly to me, paying zero attention to Henry. He walks right past him, smirking as the guy tries to step between us and fails miserably. Adam is faster, and he's in front of me before I can blink.

"I just got your text. I missed you, too, Evangelina." Adam says the words with a hint of amused mockery in them, and he stops in the doorway, blocking Henry from doing anything more than looking at his back. His stare takes in my wet hair and bare shoulders, and then lingers on my face. "Jason brought me a new phone. I was walking here to see you when you sent that. You're the first person to message me."

"I thought for sure you were staying with your mom."

I reach for him right as he reaches for me, somehow managing not to drop my towel. His arms wrap around my waist to pull me against his chest, and he walks us back a step into the apartment.

"You're freezing. I'm pretty sure your grandpa said you were supposed to stay warm." Adam half jokes, and he glances back over his shoulder. I think he's about to say something to Henry –something like, nice to meet you or, hey I'm Adam –but instead he kicks the door shut behind him then looks back at me with his lips turned up.

Henry's protest is drowned out by Adam snickering, and looking not at all apologetic.

"Oops, I guess I forgot to introduce myself."

"Thank you for saving me," I answer, rising up to kiss him hello. He willingly obliges, and his lips touch mine for a single, unfair second. He keeps his hand on my back, and the other reaches to touch my hair. "I guess he lives next door."

"Of course he does." Adam is distracted, and he scrunches up his face at my wet hair. "Come on. Let's get you dressed before you really do die of hypothermia. In Dauntless."

"Now wouldn't that be ironic," I laugh, and I want to ask him how Tris is.

I decide not to, because a second later, he leads me down the hallway to my bedroom, like he already knows the way.

* * *

This time, Adam is warm.

He hovers over me, his shoulders tensed up and rigid, but his nose touching mine. There's a slow smile on his face now, well earned after the patience of helping me dry my hair. I'd thought he'd find the act mind numbing, but he took Daniel's words seriously. He sat with me while I tried to get it dry as fast as I could, and he watched without any sort of commentary.

Once I was done, he walked with me to the large bed, and sat down on it like he owned the place.

I wasn't expecting anything to happen between us. Last night we'd fallen asleep so exhausted we couldn't see straight, and today we had learned his father was missing. Rylan was missing right along with him, and the news left a pretty crappy feeling hanging in the air. I fully expected Adam to kiss me goodnight and crawl into bed or tell me he'd come back tomorrow. Instead, he pulled up the bottom of the night shirt I had on, stopping when it reached my hips, and my fingers touched his.

Together, we took it off the rest of the way.

There was not a single ounce of hesitation in me now, for nearly dying multiple times in the span of a few days had given me a new perspective on life. I wasn't afraid he'd make a face at the grossly bright purple mark across my cheek, nor would he cringe at pale skin covered in scrapes and red marks left over from nearly freezing.

He didn't do anything of the sort. He simply looked at me, really looked at me, then moved my hair out of the way and touched the side of my head. I had hit it twice, once by the broken tree smashing into me in the river and once on the train.

The stitches felt irritably tight, but other than that, I was fine.

I helped Adam take his shirt off, and before I knew it, I was lying on cold, pink sheets, with only him to keep me warm. My underwear was long forgotten, the pink fabric ruffly and almost a little too much, but it had been a gift from my mother to congratulate me on escaping death. They landed next to Adam's boxer briefs, somewhere on the side of the bed, tossed away without a second thought.

Neither of us bothered to look anywhere but at each other.

In hindsight, I wonder if I could have warmed him up like this. I had tried to take his shirt off, knowing the shirt would freeze against his skin and stay there, and I had done my best to get us to safety. When his lips touched my throat, mumbling something I couldn't make out, I wondered what would have happened if we hadn't found the train. Maybe we would have found shelter, at the very least somewhere out of the snow or up near the tracks, praying we'd stay alive to make it through the night.

"You're really warm now."

Adam kept talking, nudging me with his nose and waiting for me to tell him to stop. We both had every reason in the world to be on edge, but in this moment, I couldn't think of a single one. All I wanted was to keep feeling him, hot against my bare skin, hard against my leg, very gently urging my legs apart.

"It's because of you," my answer is drowned out in a burst of giggling, brought on by his fingers touching the inside of my thigh. He moves himself up higher, covering me so that all I see is him, and he must have taken a shower back home. He smells good, less like the forest of Amity and more like the Adam I'd spent nights sleeping against, and his skin is soft.

I touch his cheek, letting my fingers slide over the bruise, and he tenses up.

"Don't," I shake my head, and he drops his to rest in the palm of my hand. "It'll heal in a few days. I'll ask Arlene for something. But don't think it's bad. We survived and that's all that matters."

He nods slowly, and his eyes are shut. I pull my legs up to touch his, urging him closer, knowing that what he wants is this. Something warm and soft, something not painful or angry, something between him and me.

"I love you," I whisper the words not knowing if he's even listening or if he can hear me or if he understands why I want him to know this now. I do love him, in some way I can't quite explain, other than knowing that when I was with him, it felt right.

Adam's eyes are still shut as he struggles with something in his head, then they open to find mine. They are a darker blue than before, and he stares before he finally nods. His head bends down until his lips press against mine, and he pushes inside me without saying anything. My fingers slide from his cheek to his hair, and I push my legs in closer, drawing him further in, and I feel him shudder against me.

"Eva…."

He mumbles my name, half gasped, half exhaled, and we're suspended in time. Adam doesn't move like I think he will. He stays there until he sinks against me, and I wonder how I ever existed apart from him. There's a moment of pure and extreme need that passes between us, the reassurance that we're just fine, and that I would still want him even if he hadn't been able to kill his grandfather.

My free hand skims over his shoulders, down his back, right as his hips move faster. He sets a pace that he needs, and I dig my nails in, anchoring myself to him. Adam says my name again, groaning when my feet brush his calves, and I close my eyes.

He is warm, heavy on top of me and I want nothing more.

I vow to fix this. I vow to erase every single mark on him. To take Marcus out if it's the last thing I do, and to make sure that no one ever comes close to hurting Adam ever again. Even though what had happened was unlikely to occur ever again, I wouldn't let anyone dare make him feel like any of this was his fault. I wouldn't let anyone touch a single hair on his head, and I'd do whatever it took –even resorting to unfair, drastic measures involving my family –to make sure he was safe.

"I love you, Eva."

I'm brought back down to Earth by the feeling of him kissing my cheek, the action messy and frantic, and I smile widely, then even wider when everything starts to feel really good. I can barely focus on anything but him and me, together again.

I know he'll stay.

In the morning, we will wake up, and I'll make him something for breakfast. I'll call my mom and tell her I need different shampoo, giving her something to do other than sit around and worry with Tris. I'll have Tris meet us for lunch. I'll figure out what Adam and I are supposed to do next, and I'll delete the message from Arlene, reminding me that at some point, I needed to see her again. I'd call my dad, asking if he wants to come over for dinner, and I'd call Rachel and Pink, and ask if they want to come, too.

I'll also give Adam the key, the one from the envelope I'd pulled out before getting in the bath, that unlocks this very apartment.

The one with his name on it.


	29. Chapter 29

Happy Friday!

Thanks so much to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. It's crazy to think we're almost near the end of the story!

Major major thanks to **Bamberlee** for editing!

Just a head's up: Bamberlee is going on vacation for the next couple of weeks. We're still aiming to update next Friday, if she isn't having too much fun at the beach, but if not, we'll update when she's back. Have a good weekend!

* * *

My father looks bored.

He stares in utter tedium while Jason attempts to hang up a picture on my wall. It's nowhere near as large as the one at my grandpa's house, but it's proving to be just as difficult. Jason struggles with the heavy gold frame, then steps back in total triumph to admire his work.

There's a creak as the picture tilts, dangerously close to falling off the wall, and Jason swears beneath his breath.

The déjà vu makes my head hurt.

"I think that's…good?"

Jason lets go of the picture, and his voice trails off at the end of his sentence, which I find odd. He was never less than confident, at least not that I knew of. I had grown up knowing him to be goofy and pretty fun, always down to investigate something paranormal or laughing when my father lost his patience at Clyde's for the millionth time in a week. As I got older, I realized he wasn't entirely goofy, and it came along with his marriage to Meghan.

I liked her just as much as I liked him.

Meghan was related to me in another unofficial way, and she had changed over the years right along with Jason. The earlier pictures of her that my mother had showed someone else entirely. Young, always tipsy looking, and half hidden behind bright green hair. Over time, the green hair lessened to a darker green, then just some green pieces, then almost none, except for some very artistically painted on sections to peek out when it was down. Meghan was blonde, so blonde that her hair was an unobtainable goal for anyone who'd ever wanted blonde hair, and she was very pretty. She also quit drinking sometime after her mother passed away, and when she and Jason got married, she looked like someone out of the fairy tale books my father read to me when he and Rylan argued over who was the better princess.

I hadn't seen Meghan since returning to Dauntless. I glance over at Jason, still frowning at the wall, and I realize I hadn't actually seen her since she threw up in Amity.

"It looks fine, but it's very…um…. intense."

I point this out from the kitchen. I'm a safe distance away, measuring out enough noodles for dinner, and wondering if anyone else was feeling the same way. Jason nods in agreement, and he eyes the picture warily.

"Yeah. Yeah, the eyes sort of follow you wherever you go."

"You don't like it, do you?" My father turns to look at me, crossing his arms over his chest. I'd say he looks completely over everything –his posture straight but his head tilted, and his eyes flash with indifference over the matter –but he'd shown up with Jason and this housewarming gift and stayed to make sure it was put up immediately. "We could move it to your bedroom. It might look better in there."

"NO!" I nearly drop the noodles I'd separated out, and I shake my head furiously. "It's fine there. I just wasn't expecting such a large photo…right in the living room."

My father grunts in response, growing irritable when Jason fidgets with the picture again. His fingers touch the frame gently, trying to adjust it without knocking it down, and then even Jason sighs.

"I think it's fine. If she wants to move it…. what about the bathroom?"

I dump the noodles in the boiling water, and I shake my head again no. "Maybe one of you should take it."

They look at each other, silently debating if they should move the giant photo, but ultimately end up looking back at me with very concerned stares.

It had been a week since I'd returned to Dauntless.

Things were all over the place and were showing no signs of slowing down. At my father's insistence, I hadn't accepted any position or job with anyone, and his grace period of allowing me to readjust to life here was incredibly kind.

It was proving to take some time for the novelty of Adam and me being back to wear off.

I had expected our friends to be thrilled, but we were now the focus of every member's attention. It was one thing for us to be gone as initiates, but another for Eric's daughter and Four's son to be in Amity for a week, presumed dead, then returned like nothing happened. This gossip must have been extra juicy, because everyone wanted the details. My mother insisted it would die down, hinting that most people were glad we were okay and just wanted to know what we'd done in Amity, but it didn't make their stares any less invasive. To ease everyone's curiosity, my father rounded everyone up for a faction wide meeting, announced we were alive and well, then told everyone not to bother us.

It was very sweet of him, but it sort of intensified their raging curiosity.

To counteract this, he told us both to stay home.

He'd taken to popping up here and there to help me however he could. My dad often showed up with groceries, purchased from Zander's fancy market that charged twice as much because they marked everything organic and then hung around for the afternoon. He dropped off books and movies, dinner, sometimes dessert, and quite often muffins. He made sure my heat worked. He made sure my door locked. He installed another lock above that one, then made me show him that I had my keycard on me and hadn't lost it.

He was also very careful to avoid tripping over Adam, or actually acknowledging that Adam lived here.

It was amusing to watch; I knew my father must have had a hand in this arrangement, but he acted like he couldn't see Adam's hoodie on the chair, or his phone on the counter. In return, Adam steered clear of him, disappearing to go take a shower or a nap or heading to rearrange his shirts anytime my father came over. They were both on good terms with each other, and I would even say my father was proud of how Adam and I had handled Marcus, but there was a funny tension in the air. Adam was polite, my dad was genuinely polite, but they occasionally looked at each other like they were in a weird contest over who I really wanted to hang out with.

Much to my father's chagrin, Adam usually won.

I'd lived with my father for eighteen years, and I found myself preferring to eat dinner with Adam –and just Adam – rather than my entire extended family at a crowded, dimly lit bar. I felt pretty greedy in enjoying every single minute with him, because I suddenly missed him the second he left the room.

I was also finding it hard to figure out just where the giant portrait of Rylan should go. It was an updated version of the same one from my bedroom, newer and much, much larger, and Christina had called to tearfully inform me he planned on giving it to me the minute I was assigned an apartment. That was a painful phone call, and when she hung up, my stomach felt like I'd swallowed a bunch of rocks.

Rylan and Four had been missing for a week now, and there were no signs that either of them were out there.

* * *

"Do you want to watch the one with a serial killer who ate his victims or the one about a giant shark? I think we already saw the shark one."

Adam looks down at me patiently, the remote balanced on his knee, waiting for me to choose what movie I'd like to watch. His head is cocked to the side, kind and generous as ever to let me pick what I wanted to watch, but the answer is neither.

My father had been kind enough to give me his collection of all kinds of movies, but I had learned that he and my mother liked very different things. There were no funny happy comedies, or anything remotely romantic or heartfelt. Not even anything aimed at my age group, something cheesy and terrible but ultimately enjoyable.

Nearly every movie my father had was either violent, bloody, or terrifying, or bloody, violent and terrifying. Despite his lack of belief in ghosts or demons, he seemed to enjoy watching movies about them, and not a single one had a happy ending.

There was a vampire one with a guy and a really sulky girl, but Adam and I grew bored after the first ten minutes.

"What about the vampire documentary? It's not a movie but we started it a few days ago?" I tilt my head up at him, happy to be laying against his chest, and he nods in agreement.

"I think Jason said there was a new season or something. I don't know how he's even finding them."

Adam shifts me closer, our feet propped up on the large ottoman and the apartment quiet and dark, and I watch as he clicks through what seems like a million screens. He finally lands on Jason's login information for some streaming program he'd created. He enters the information needed, and a second later, the TV screen lights up with the show we started watching on Sunday.

He pulls me closer, unhappy that I'm not actually laying on top of him, and I smile against his chest.

Living with Adam was far different than sleeping by each other in the dorms or spending a week in Amity.

I'd never lived with anyone other than my parents, and the morning after our first night here, I wondered if I'd made a mistake. Or my mother had made a mistake by insisting Adam and I stick together. Before Rachel and Pink left, Rachel had confessed that my mother and Tris got my father to agree to this arrangement on the grounds that it was safe. It was not likely anyone would find their way into Dauntless to kill us, and even less likely they'd succeed if we were together. From what Rachel said, my father was still reluctant to agree to me living with Adam, until my mom pointed out after what we'd been through, it was likely we'd wind up staying together anyway, and there was no point in having two apartments when one would do.

I liked the apartment I'd been given. I also liked that Adam's name was on it, but I wondered if I should have lived alone.

Mostly because in the morning, the very first morning after we spent the night here, Adam walked out of the bedroom half asleep, his hair a mess and his shirt missing, and I found myself really nervous. It was a stupid feeling, because not only was I pretty sure he liked me, I was fairly confident his confession that he loved me still stood. His smile was slow and warm, and he stopped to look at me, wearing his shirt, standing there clutching my coffee as I made breakfast.

My stomach fully turned over when he stopped behind me, staring curiously at what I was making, and kissing the side of my head before telling me he could help.

And he had.

He helped me cook eggs and pancakes, and we ate breakfast sort of staring at each other, not sure this was real.

But it was.

It was very real the first night I discovered his stuff was mixed in with mine. It was even more real when I realized his clothes were neatly folded in the drawers next to mine, and his jackets were hung up beside my dresses. His boots were lined up along with my own, his shampoo was fighting for the prime position in the shower, and everything smelled like him. The pillows, the sheets, our couch. His shirts often wound up on me, and he quickly realized he'd have to get used to sharing.

Maybe it was because we'd both grown up as the only child, but I had expected to feel claustrophobic to be sharing my space.

Instead, I found it completely perfect that he was here.

I liked falling asleep beside him and waking up next to him. I liked that he was there beside me, safe in the dark and it was reassuring to him as well. Some of the trauma of Marcus had worn off, and the bruises were mostly gone. I wasn't sore anymore, and though I'd developed an aversion to snow and icy water, I still had fond memories of being in Amity. Adam was better, too. He slept like the dead, but sometimes before he drifted off, I knew he was wondering if his dad was alive.

I could feel it, overtaking his thoughts no matter what was going on. Our friends had come by multiple times, their stares happy and bright, and not at all surprised that we were both living here. Rachel looked pretty smug when she and Aja ate dinner with us, and Pink and Gunner stayed to watch a movie. We hadn't ventured out much at all, because that seemed a little too real, and neither of us wanted to deal with that.

"Hey, did you hear anything?"

I move closer to Adam, kicking his foot so he'll look at me, and he does. His smile slips just a bit as he answers no, and his fingers tighten.

"No. Jason said I could call but he's been really busy. Meghan still isn't feeling good, and…" Adam pauses, and his stare drops. "Anytime I've called my mom, she just…sounds like she might start crying. She went out with one of the patrol squads, but they didn't find anything."

"I can ask my dad. I'll call and see if he's heard anything else," I offer, sitting up to look right at him.

He looks at me, and his expression is unreadable.

It had taken some time, but the bruises on both of us were almost gone. Adam had only the faintest ghost around his eye, and mine had faded to a really ugly yellow color. Neither of us had gone to see anyone, and instead stuck around here. We watched dozens of shows, sometimes barely got out of bed, and I learned that Adam was just as patient and kind as his parents hoped he'd be.

He was also very happy to sink into bed, and even happier when I skipped the pajama shorts.

"I was thinking I should go ask him. Offer to help, or maybe call Harrison. I don't know, a week seems like a long time to be gone."

Adam's words are heavy, because we'd been warned not to leave. My father liked that we hadn't gone out and tried to find Four or Rylan, and we'd listened to his threats. A large part of me thought we should go; we knew where Marcus had last been, and there was a small chance they weren't looking in the right spot. But we'd been questioned over and over, told to sit tight, and practically forced to do nothing but watch movies and recover from the attack.

And the hypothermia.

It wasn't the worst thing in the world, but it would have been better if we knew what was going on.

"Do you think they're okay?" I ask Adam, having spent a few days trying to coax this out of him. I was holding onto the hope that Four and Rylan were alive, and but I would feel better if Adam vocalized the same thing out loud.

So far, he'd been very in his head about it. He'd answer me, but only if I asked.

"Yeah, yeah I think they're alright. I was thinking they probably got stuck somewhere and are trying to get back. Or they're…in Abnegation and Rylan refuses to leave."

Adam's joke is a weak attempt to insert some much needed humor into a dark situation, so I don't push him for any more answers. I put my head back on his chest, sighing when his fingers touch my hair, and we both watch as a giant, blind, killer shark swims past a girl who doesn't know she's about to die.

It feels sort of fitting, but ultimately the shark loses, and the movie ends with a rare, fleeting moment of happiness.

* * *

"How long was it worn off for?"

I look at Arlene, pulling my feet up beneath me without breaking my stare, and she looks back at me. I wouldn't say she looks any older than I remember her, but she definitely looks less than enthused with life.

I blamed Rylan.

I learned that the week before he and Four went missing, he'd been furious that she made him get a flu shot. In a fit of spite, he hacked into her database and renamed all her files. He must have been really mad, because he'd renamed everything he could find and then some. Gone were all the actual patient names, and in their place were nicknames he'd come up with. Redhaired pirate wannabe. Ginger McJams. Lord Know It All. Those were all on Jason's file, and I only knew because Arlene showed me his and Meghan's.

Meghan's was named Jason's Baby Mama, but also Greenie Meenie Whose Seen Jason's Weenie.

Arlene looked like her blood pressure had risen a few points with that one, and I'd unsuccessfully tried not to laugh.

I missed him so much in that moment that my chest hurt. It hurt even more when I saw mine was named Coulter Three, but also Evangelina Rylan Coulter, which was not my actual name. I did give him credit for leaving mine mostly alone.

"It would have worn off three weeks ago." Arlene's tone is testy and far less chipper considering Rachel and Pink thought she'd be urging me to forget about the birth control. "I can only assume you've had sex since then, and you're down here because you'd prefer not to be birthing your boyfriend's baby this year."

She tilts her head, examines me intently, then exhales sharply.

"Did either of you use anything while you were…away?"

"Uh, no." I look to the side of her, hoping she'll either stab me right now so I can leave, or throw some condoms in my general direction and call it a day.

So far, this check-up was not going well.

I'd come down here at my father's insistence, promising him I'd report back if anything was broken. I'd also made an appointment for Adam, pointing out that he should be seen, too. Once we checked in, he got lucky. A random nurse called him right as Arlene called me, and he smirked after he followed someone closer to our own age in an entirely opposite direction than I was being called.

I should have known Arlene wouldn't be happy I hadn't been down here to see her, but she was flat out annoyed that I'd spent a week with a potentially broken nose. The insult continued through my appointment, when she realized that not only did Adam and I now live together, but we were not being very careful.

I tried to bring it up the other night, but I forgot once Adam collapsed on top of me and I fell asleep.

"That's why I'm here," I flash her a blinding smile, and she sighs again. "Neither of us want a baby. So give me the shot and I'll be on my way."

Arlene continues to look unimpressed, and she pushes her glasses back up her nose.

"You are aware of how it works, right? I'm sure your mother explained that the birth control shot only works if you stay on top of it. If it wears off, you're at risk for pregnancy and…"

"I drank some tea in Amity. I'll be fine," I interrupt, and her eye twitches. "My grandma knew Adam was staying. I don't think she's hoping for a great grandchild anytime soon. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant."

"I see." Arlene scrawls something on my chart, probably the words _birth control tea_ and _moron_, and she looks at the door. "Do you promise me nothing else hurts? Daniel sent several emails asking me to check both you and Adam to make sure you weren't suffering the effects of hypothermia. He said Adam had a few more injuries than you, but that you'd been hit in the face and were covered with blood upon your arrival to his house."

"I feel way better, and I think Adam is okay. The bruising is mostly gone and he said he's fine," I answer honestly, hoping Arlene believes me.

She doesn't look like she does, but I wasn't lying. Adam claimed he was fine every time I asked, and as the only person seeing him without his shirt on, I knew the bruises were fading.

"Do me a favor," Arlene closes the chart, and she steps closer in a very threatening way. "I'll give you your birth control shot after you have bloodwork done. I'll give you a few other things to take, in the event you forget to come back down here in time. But I want you to make sure Adam is really okay. I don't just mean physically. I mean that he's dealing with all this and pretending things are great. You two living together is fine, but he should talk to someone if he needs to."

"About his dad?"

"Yes," Arlene answers sharply, and she reminds me of my father. "He might need to talk to someone about what happened. It's bad enough it was Marcus, but then Four going missing can't help."

"Who would he talk to? Blythe?" I cringe at the thought of him seeing someone who wanted to kill me, but it's more the position. I knew she was some sort of psychologist, and she was the only one I knew.

"No, not Blythe. Blythe is the last person he should talk to. I just meant if he's worried about his father or the way they left things, he can talk to someone here. Even your father would be willing to listen."

My eyes must narrow at the thought of Adam having a heart to heart with my father, because Arlene finally smiles.

"Eric likes him. I saw your dad after Adam went to find you. He said any man willing to risk going to Amity had his vote of confidence." Arlene pauses, but just for a second. "He was down here earlier. He's worried that Adam will try to go find Four."

She notices the way I wince, because I'd thought this, too.

At some point, Adam would have to face how he felt about his father and the fact that he was missing. It was clear he was worried, and possibly regretting that things between them weren't good, but it wasn't clear if he'd end up going to try and find him. He'd left Dauntless once, and I'm sure he'd do it again if he felt like he needed to.

If the guilt he had about not killing Marcus said anything, then it meant there was a chance he'd try to make things right by going after him to find his dad.

"I'll talk to him," I promise Arlene, but her expression tells me she doesn't quite believe me.

"Will he listen to you?"

I ignore the way her words could be taken as an insult, because I understand she's worried. Adam had proven he had a clear idea of what he wanted to do, and it was impossible to change his mind. But this was different. This was life or death, and not just his father's. "I would think so. He knows everyone is out there looking. Him going out on his own won't do any good."

I lean back on the table, and Arlene's eyes meet mine.

For once, there's a weariness to them I haven't seen before.

I suddenly wonder if she's about to die.

"Are you sick?" I blurt out when she turns around to call someone else in the room, and her head whips back to me. "You look really tired."

Arlene's answer is immediate and hotly defensive. "There's a lot going on. I'm up to my eyeballs in drunken new members and working with the soldiers coming back from trying to find Four and Rylan. Why? You think I'm about to die?"

"Yes."

I respond without thinking, and Arlene scowls at me. She's a mirror image of my father, and she narrows her eyes as she yells for someone named Melvin to come draw my blood.

A half hour later, she leads me out of the room, loudly informing me she's just fine, and she's going to live forever, proving Pink was right.

* * *

"Why did they take your blood?"

Adam and I walk back upstairs together, occasionally bumping into each other on purpose. His appointment must have gone well, because his attitude is way different than it was earlier; he doesn't look so solemn, and he grabs me to keep me from crashing into the rockier part of the wall then keeps me close to his side.

"It was for this test."

"Did you ask them to?" Adam is curious at this recent development. He glances down at me, his eyes wide with concern at the pink bandage Arlene had slapped on my arm, and I wait until we pass a group of Karl's friends milling around. They're all red and sweaty, and a few are taking off the heavy uniform jackets while they walk. They're heading in to see Arlene, and I catch a few words that I wish I hadn't.

Amity.

Bloody footprints.

Harrison.

Adam somehow misses all this. His attention is solely on me as he waits to hear about the bloodwork, and I smile up at him.

I wasn't sure how to word it, so I figured I might as well just say it.

"I had to get blood drawn to make sure I wasn't pregnant so I can keep taking birth control." My words are fairly cheerful, but Adam's expression turns into something else altogether. I almost laugh at how horrified he looks, except that this is pretty important considering we could wind up having a baby before I'd even taken a job here. "It only lasts so long. So…I…had to go see Arlene. But you can't take it if you are pregnant so…"

I pause when Adam's head tilts, and he looks reasonably concerned.

"Were you on it in Amity?"

We walk exactly five steps in silence, before I shake my head. "No, I'm pretty sure it had worn off. I got it during initiation."

"Oh," Adam lags behind me for a second, almost like he's sizing me up, and I turn in confusion. "I just assumed you were. You didn't say…anything."

"I was a little busy!" I scowl at him, because he's still staring at me with a funny look on his face. "You just showed up! How was I supposed to know you wanted to talk about birth control. Didn't…didn't someone tell you about it?"

We stop in the dark hallway, not exactly fighting, but both mildly panicking over this. It wasn't that having a baby would be the worst thing in the world, but I certainly didn't want one now. We weren't engaged, nor had we even talked about it. We had been living together for a week, and while I was really enjoying my time with Adam, starting a family so soon wasn't on my to do list.

I would bet it wasn't on his, either.

"So you could be pregnant?" Adam's voice is laced with concern and panic, and I watch him try to flash back to the biology class we'd taken together a few years ago. We'd sat there while the instructor explained a lot of things, and most of the boys had snickered the entire time. "I didn't even think…"

His eyes fly up to the jagged, rocky ceiling, searching for answers amongst the darkness.

There aren't any.

If I was pregnant, my mother would be thrilled. Tris would more than likely be thrilled.

My father might make me move back home. Or he'd make me marry Adam and arrange an elaborate cover up to explain how I was pregnant after moving out of his apartment for a single week.

"We aren't even married. We've only been living together for…"

"You want to get married? I thought you didn't." Adam steps closer, towering over me just like he had in the garden. "I thought you kept saying your mom got married at eighteen so you were never getting married."

"Well…yes, that's true." I step closer to him, and he looks down at me. He struggles to look right at me, the thought of a baby probably making him want to bolt, but he doesn't. "You said it yourself. You didn't want anyone to think we wound up together because we were supposed to. I didn't want anyone to think I'd marry you just because our moms wanted us to."

"_Didn't_?" Adam repeats, and he's even closer now. I like his shirt, the plaid button down not something I'd seen him wear, and it matches the dark pants he grabbed from our closet. "So you do want to get married? Eva Coulter wants to marry me?"

His tone turns teasing, and my scowl returns as he chooses to focus on that rather than the potential of us having a baby.

"Well I didn't say _you_." I tease, wondering why the idea is no longer entirely unpleasant. I'd decided I would make sure no one hurt him, and I couldn't do that if he lived somewhere else or was with someone else. I didn't think he would be, but after facing death together, I felt like I had some sort of claim on him.

The same way he did.

He'd slammed the door in Henry's face, not even bothering to say hello.

I'd bet my father would say these were great grounds to get married.

"Liar," Adam grins, and his expression turns the happiest I've seen it in days. "I always knew you liked me."

I should smack him, because he looks so amused at his own joke, but I can't. I shake my head, ignoring the sting where my blood had been drawn, and I rise up on my toes. I kiss him once, quickly, then step away, smiling widely.

"Good luck with getting me to marry you now."

I leave him standing there, still smiling at my threat.

His dark blue eyes find mine, totally and completely glued to me.

* * *

In the afternoon, we watch the virtual announcement with Jason.

Adam and I sit on his couch, watching my father's face flash on the screen, his expression a stare of flat, intense disapproval. He speaks evenly, announcing that Four and Rylan are still missing, and he offers up a reward for any news of their whereabouts. He mentions a further reward for their return, no matter the reasoning. He practically snarls he wants them back alive, and next to me, Adam is silent.

"They're alive. Don't worry."

Jason takes the seat across from us, watching my father read a list of ways to contact him. He stops short of giving out his cell phone number but implies that both Rylan and Four are his friends, and he has a personal interest in their safety. He offers a few other ways of getting ahold of him, his assistant, Four's assistant, or Jason, and his voice drops when he goes on to say any information could be very helpful.

"How do you know?" I ask, and Adam leans against me. His knee knocks into mine, and there's a hint of nervousness to him. "It's been eight days now."

I point this out as gently as I can, wondering how on Earth they weren't anywhere. It was like they'd vanished into thin air, and their return was starting to seem impossible.

"I have faith in them. Rylan is far more competent than most think. He knows Amity pretty well, and if they're somewhere there, he'll find a way to get them back to the main faction. Four knows a thing or two about survival. I think they're just stuck, and it's taking them longer to get back than we'd like."

"Where would they be?" Adam asks, and his gaze flashes up to Jason. "You think they fell in the river?"

"The same one you guys were in? Maybe. Harrison and I talked about a few possibilities for it, and he doesn't think anyone would survive in it for very long. If they got sucked underwater or taken downstream, their odds of survival aren't very good. But they might have crossed over it and gotten lost."

"Is there anything past where we were?" I try to remember the night we'd gone over the river, and I have the stark image of the railroad tracks, cutting sharply through the woods and up the hill. "I know the tracks are there but I can't remember what's on the other side."

"Candor," Jason looks up, doing his best to remember the boundary lines for each faction. "They could be stuck in Candor. Maybe Jack is still mad over the Jeremy situation."

Next to me, Adam is silent. He toys with his sleeve, then looks over at me. "Do you know anything about Candor?"

"Not really," I confess, hating that I hadn't paid better attention the times I went. "My dad took me a few times. There's lots of white buildings and everything is marble. We ate at the restaurant there, and Rylan was mad because they didn't want him to order off the kids' menu."

"Is it far?" Adam asks, and Jason interrupts him before he can suggest we go.

"Are you guys okay? I've been meaning to come find you both and see how you are. I know the stuff with Marcus was a shock. I imagine it hasn't been easy to come back and just…" Jason stops, exhaling sharply. "I know the stuff with Four and Rylan is rough. The stuff with Marcus doesn't make this any easier."

There's a heavy pause from both of us, and I examine my shoe intently. The laces are dark, loose and in danger of untying, just like in Amity. I wait for Adam to say something, and so does Jason. He clears his throat, and there's a crash from the bedroom down the hallway. In the distance, Meghan swears, then apologizes to no one.

"Why didn't he tell me about him?" Adam finally answers Jason, unhappy and tight. "Why didn't he tell me I had a grandfather out there, and he would want to kill me. I helped Marcus, not even knowing who he was. Do you know how stupid I felt?"

Jason nods. His stare is sympathetic, full of understanding and regret. "Yeah, I thought you'd be upset over that. I know this doesn't make anything better, but I think Four thought you'd never run into the guy."

"Well I did," Adam's voice is angry, and he sits up straighter. "I helped him. I led Eva into the woods where he almost killed us. Had I known who he was…"

"You wouldn't have gone. I know," Jason is reassuring, and he smiles tightly. "Unfortunately, Four chose not to tell you, for whatever his reasons were. Same with Eva. Eric thought she'd never run into Blythe, and she did. Right in his own former faction."

"Whatever happened to Blythe?" I reach for Adam's hand, and his fingers are warm. He immediately slides them between my own, and Jason tries hard to look like he's not watching. "Did anyone ever ask her about Jeremy?"

"Not yet. We have no proof other than what Jeremy was saying. Eric could go hunt her down, but he's been dealing with the security issues as it is. As far as I know, they had her called to Candor to answer for Jeremy, but there was no response from her. Jack gives everyone a few weeks to arrange to get in contact if it's not an official trial. She's high enough in Erudite that she could flat out refuse if she doesn't feel like it's worth it. If that's the case, they'll send one of us to go get her."

This makes me frown.

I had the sinking feeling Blythe was smart enough to get out of whatever request was sent her way, especially when it pertained to a factionless man rambling about revenge. It was unlikely she'd take time out of her day to even address it.

"Your dad isn't happy at all. But then Four and Rylan went missing and…"

"Jason, did you hear anything? Kacie called this morning."

Adam and I both look up to see Meghan standing there, and she's sort of a weird color. Upon further inspection, her skin looks green, even as she smiles at us.

"I didn't really talk to her, but she was trying to get ahold of you."

Meghan heads toward the couches, and Adam and I stare at her in total surprise. She looks the same as she did in Amity; her hair is long and blonde, hastily brushed out in an attempt to look like she didn't just wake up, and her leggings and shirt are both black. The most noticeable difference isn't just the sickly tint to her skin, but the fact that she's clearly pregnant, something no one had mentioned.

"I'm so happy you guys are back. I was really worried." She sinks down beside Jason, wincing at the action, and he reaches over to take her hand. His stare turns to her, and the smile on his face is the same one my father had when my mother sat down by him.

"You guys are having a baby?"

Once again, I take after my father and speak before I can stop myself. No one had mentioned this to me, not that I was the person who all the faction-wide gossip was brought to, but I had figured my mother would have been thrilled.

"Wait…I thought…" Adam has better self-control than I do. He stops before he can announce that we all thought Jason and Meghan didn't want any kids. They'd long been the couple, along with Rylan and Christina, who vowed to remain childfree. They both spoke about liking their lives the way they were: Jason and Meghan both liked to sleep in, both competed over who was better at video games, and enjoyed their free time with each other and my parents, often staying out later just because they could.

None of that screamed desperate to have a baby.

"We weren't exactly…planning on it," Jason answers, but he's smiling. He looks surprisingly happy; his smile is wide and genuine, and his eyes are bright. "Meghan got sick and we forgot that antibiotics and birth control don't mix. It's a good surprise, but she hasn't been feeling so great though."

"I've been throwing up since I found out," Meghan sounds slightly less enthused than Jason, and she closes her eyes for a second. "We haven't told anyone."

"No one else knows?" I find this hard to believe. Meghan usually hung out with my mother and Tris and Christina, and it was unlikely not a single one of them would notice.

"I haven't been able to keep anything down. I took a leave of absence at work, and I did see your mom a few times. But she's got a lot going on. She misses you, everyone was worried about initiation, you guys got attacked, then Four and Rylan went missing." She pauses, and right when I'm horrified for her, she smiles. "Honestly, I can barely get out of bed. We text all the time. I figured we'd just…surprise them."

"With a baby!?" Adam answers incredulously.

Jason and Meghan both nod.

"Yeah, I mean, we have everything we need. Meghan only has a few weeks left, and then we'll tell everyone." Jason shrugs, but his eyes go back to Meghan. "Arlene knows, but that was inevitable. I'm surprised she kept quiet."

"She's been busy," Meghan yawns, then scrunches up her face as she fights down a presumed wave of nausea. "Rylan had been messing with her for a while. She wrote that he needed to take some vitamins and a day off, and in return he keeps logging in as her and screwing with whatever she was working on."

"Yeah, he changed the names on all her files. I saw them." I smile at the memory, but it falters when Jason looks down. "I hope he's okay."

"He's fine," Jason stretches his neck the same way my father does when things are definitely not fine. "They'll show back up. We have everyone looking for them, and it's more likely Four killed Rylan for being annoying than Marcus getting to either of them. He got to you guys because you didn't expect him to. You tried to help, and he took advantage of that. Four and Rylan aren't so kind."

Adam and I are both silent, but his fingers are so tight through mine that I know he's struggling with all this.

"I feel really stupid. I should have known better."

Adam's confession hangs in the air between us and Jason and Meghan. Meghan's eyes widen, and she shakes her head slowly.

"Don't feel stupid. Four should have told you. I think things would have been much different if he had." Her smile is as gentle as can be, especially when she glances over at Jason, and he nods. "Hey, Eva, would you want to walk downstairs with me to pick up dinner? I'm going to order something for us and you guys can stay if you want. It would be nice to hear how Amity was." Meghan pauses, and she tries not to laugh when Jason elbows her. "And Erudite. I heard your grandpa hated the wallpaper."

"He did!" I can't help but laugh when I think of him scrutinizing the expensive printed wallpaper that my grandmother had picked out, and how he'd claimed it gave him vertigo. "And sure, I'll walk down there with you. Are you sure you don't want Adam and I to go so you can stay here?"

Meghan shakes her head, and her gaze falls on Adam. "I could stand to get out of here for a few minutes. We'll take the back way. Jason and Adam can catch up while we're gone."

"Sounds good to me. Eva, you want to stay for dinner?" Adam loosens his grip just enough I turn to look at him, and I nod.

I have a feeling he and Jason have a lot to talk about, including our doctor appointments today.

* * *

"Oh, thank God."

My gasp of relief echoes in the dark hallway, and next to me, Meghan jumps.

"Sorry! I just had to do this bloodwork because Arlene was worried I could be pregnant and it just came back negative. She said I can start the birth control tonight." I explain everything without any hesitation, knowing Meghan would understand. "I don't want a baby. Not now."

"I take it you guys had a really good time in Amity," Meghan grins, and she looks less green than she did before. "I bet it was nice to be away from here."

"It was," I answer, turning to make sure she's alright. So far, she'd kept up with me, not overly slow or out of breath, but more like she might need to dash away and throw up if we walked too fast. "Honestly, before the whole Marcus thing, it was really nice. It was mostly Adam and I, but he fit in well there. Everyone really liked him."

"Why wouldn't they? Adam's a good guy," Meghan leads me to an area that I've only been in a few times, and I realize how no one knew she was pregnant. Very few members ever came this way, and the only people who would were delivery workers. "Jason…"

She stops talking when we reach an oversized elevator, and she waits until I'm looking at her.

"Jason and he talk a lot. I don't know if you know this, and it's not even my story to tell, but Adam and Four got into a really bad fight before initiation. They were arguing because Adam and his friends went out, and he didn't come back until the next morning and he lost his keycard. Four lost his mind, and he just…he won't give up on the idea that Adam is going to mess up his life somehow. He's so worried that Adam will make the same mistakes he did, even though everyone has been telling him that all he's doing is pushing his son away."

"I didn't know this…" I stare back at Meghan, wondering how I hadn't heard about this argument. "Wouldn't my mom have told me about this?"

"I don't think she wanted to. It was bad. Adam basically told Four that once he was done with initiation, he'd never speak to him again. And he meant it. Four took that as him being ungrateful. I think things might have escalated, but Jason was there, and he got in between them and took Adam home with him. It didn't make it any better when Four told Adam to stay in Dauntless while you were in Amity. Four said he was wasting his time and risking his own life by going back. Adam told him to go fuck himself, and Jason was the one who pulled Four away before he could say anything else."

"Why did Four say all that?" I answer slowly, hating all of this information.

This all had to be running through Adam's mind. The arguments with his father, feeling like nothing he did was right, being told he was wasting his time to go see me.

"I don't know. I think he's annoying, but Jason said he's mellowed out a lot. At least he did until initiation. The increasing security threats got him worried, and it was too late once Adam had left for Amity. Four knew he messed up by not telling Adam about Marcus, and there was nothing he could do about it."

"So Jason and Adam are close?" I wait for the ding of the elevator, and the air in the hallway seems awfully still. "They talk a lot?"

"Yeah. Jason has always sort of looked out for Adam. He always felt like Four was too hard on him. I think Jason secretly liked the idea that you and Adam would wind up together, and he thought Four would try and stop it. Everyone was afraid if you guys were dating or together or whatever, that if someone wanted to hurt you, they'd get to you both. Those fears came true while you were in Amity." Meghan pushes the call button again, and she looks at me.

"So when Four is back he still won't like us together…"

"I don't think it'll be good. Not right away," Meghan's answer sounds disheartened, and rightfully so. "I don't like it at all. I just want you to know that I really like Adam and I've been around him enough to know he really likes you. When I found out I was pregnant, I didn't want any of this. But Jason was so excited and he….he really bonded with Adam and I couldn't imagine not giving him the chance to do that with his own child."

"Are you having a boy?" I step closer to her, not sure why. I don't particularly feel any need to have a baby, and in fact, I'd spent my whole day trying to make sure I wasn't having one. "Did you guys find out?"

Meghan nods, and her smile is bright. "We did. We found out as soon as we could."

"Oh," I blink, and the elevator door dings as it opens up, and I feel wildly thrown off. "I'm really happy for you. I just…I feel really bad about everything else. I wanted Four to come back, but I feel like he's going to think this is my fault."

Meghan nods in understanding, but her silence is worrisome.

I have a feeling I'm right.

Rylan and Four would more than likely return, but it wouldn't make anything better between Adam and his father.

Only worse.

* * *

The days pass quickly.

I spend most of my time with Adam, and the rest is carefully divided up with my parents and friends. My parents are fine; they are happy to see me, constantly bringing things over, and always asking if I've eaten. My friends are good; they are rightfully jealous of where Adam and I live, rightfully concerned about Adam's missing father, and they also ask if we've eaten.

In turn, Adam and I spend a lot of time trying to get away from them.

It feels like a game that only he and I are playing, but it might be my favorite thing of all time. We do our best to sneak away unnoticed. Often, Adam goes first, winking as he pretends to get another drink, or me, excusing myself to the bathroom. No one catches on that we're both politely leaving. It doesn't take long for either of us to have our fill of the loud crowded spaces, the violent and noisy Pit, or the shoulder to shoulder seating in Clyde's, where my parents sit a table away, eventually paying for our tab.

Adam and I take a page out of Meghan's book, and we try to make ourselves invisible in Dauntless. Not because we have to or feel some strange pressure to remain out of sight, but because it's way more fun to take the long way home, to kiss on the rooftop in total darkness, or to split off from the group and take a route that's rockier and more dangerous. It's something that is just mine and Adam's. No one else is invited into this quest for alone time, and no one else ever figures out where we're going. It's greedy and all consuming, just like what I feel for him.

Of course, there are a few moments of adjusting.

Tris drops by a few times to see us, but she never stays long. She seems happy enough that we're together, but it's overshadowed by the reminder that her husband is missing. Adam eats dinner with her a couple times, then one day announces he can't anymore. She tried to explain why his father didn't tell him about Marcus, and it only made him more pissed off that no one trusted him to know exactly who Marcus was.

Christina isn't any better.

She comes by frequently, flitting in and out to gift us with whatever she's bought in an attempt to stay busy. I put the ninth candle on Adam's nightstand, next to the rest of them, silently wondering if my father will consider this a fire hazard.

Our friends do their best to make things better, too.

While they're all friends with each other, the pull to spend time with just them increased once they realized we were good. In an attempt to cheer Adam up, Gunner and Aja demanded he go out with them, even just for a few hours. Pink and Rachel did the same, coaxing me to leave the warm sanctity of my apartment for the cold, blinking atmosphere of some club.

Which is how I got here tonight, half perched on a bar stool, in a dress that doesn't fit the vibe of this place.

I had been here once before, years ago. I'd been tagging along with Rylan while my parents went out, and at the age of twelve, I wasn't old enough to be down here. This bar served only alcoholic beverages, and the booths were sticky. I knew this, because Rylan instructed me to sit at one and play on my phone while he went to break up a fight. A terrible choice, but in retrospect, he was doing his best. My parents had gone to Erudite to sign some papers from my grandfather, and Rylan was the only one available to make sure I ate dinner and stayed alive.

He was also working.

Which meant I went with him, sat down in the booth until he walked away, then promptly got up to wander around.

Even back then, this bar felt nightmarish. It was dark and loud, hazy and cloudy in certain sections, and the music was like a dying animal shrieking in my ear. The barstools were high and rickety, a cold metal that hurt my legs, and even now, I cringed as I tried to get comfortable on one.

"What's wrong? You look pissed off!" Pink yells, despite being a single seat away.

"I'm freezing!" I yell back, and I try to wiggle my legs away from the icy metal. "I should have worn something else."

"Yeah, maybe." Pink eyes what I'm wearing, a dress meant for summer with Adam's jacket thrown over it, and she shrugs. "At least you have shoes on."

I turn to the bartender, waiting for him to take my order, and I nearly fall out of my chair when I realize I know him.

"Eva Coulter. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Henry winks at me, flipping his hair out of his eyes and staring at me. He looks over at Pink for a fleeting second, then his attention returns to my face.

"Are you drinking tonight? I could make you something special since you came down here to see me."

The way he talks makes me want to leap off the barstool. He's definitely not bad looking, but he knows it. He's way too smirky at the sight of me, and I hotly inform him I'm not here to see him.

"I'll have a glass of water."

"EVA! NO!" Pink shoves me hard enough that I nearly fall off the stool, then apologizes furiously. "Sorry. I just want you to have some fun. Rachel and I have come down here a few times. The drinks are really good. You should have one."

"Um, sure," I shrug, and I regain my balance. I glance around the club hoping to find someone I know who can save me, and my heart sinks when I realize I'm looking for Rylan to come save me. "I'll have whatever Pink is having."

"Sounds good." Henry is pleased; he immediately begins twirling all kinds of bottles around, making a bigger deal out of pouring my drink than necessary. I watch him for a minute, halfway mesmerized by what he's doing, and half annoyed that he doesn't hurry up.

"What am I having?" I scoot closer to Pink, but her answer is drowned out by the arrival of Rachel. She hugs us both fiercely, then takes the seat beside me. "Pink?"

"Trust me, it's good."

Thirty minutes later, I realize why my mother rarely drank anything.

I had never drunk anything, unless you counted having a few sips of champagne on special occasions or the time Forrest accidentally served us beer instead of soda when we went to Woody's birthday party.

This drink is sweet and bubbly. At first it tastes like overly sugary juice. I sip it quickly, hoping the faster I drink it, the faster I can go home. Then it hits me out of nowhere, like a blow to the head, that my tolerance for such a drink is zero.

"Shit," I frantically wave Henry down, and I order some water. To his credit, he realizes I don't like feeling all buzzy and lightheaded, and before I know it, there's a plate of food in front of me. Pink and I eat the chicken fingers together, and to my relief, the wobbly feeling slowly goes away.

"You have to eat before you start drinking," Henry comments dryly, his eyes on me while he generously pours a glass of something dark. "Otherwise, you're drunk before you know it."

"Thanks," I answer warily, not sure I trust him. "Since when do you work here? I thought you were working with Four."

"I am," Henry slides the drinks down a few seats, over to a few waiting soldiers. "But I work here part time. I like the points. I can make almost double what I make working for him in a few nights here."

"Where is Four? Did they find him?" Pink turns to look at Henry, but her gaze is suspicious when Henry looks back at me. "Do you two know each other?"

"He's my next-door neighbor," I answer, and my phone vibrates in my pocket. I fervently hope it's Adam, telling me he's on his way home. "Have you heard anything?"

Henry stops and he looks over me. I can see him thinking of how to answer; he licks his lips, then shakes his head. "Unfortunately, no. Because he's gone, I've been working with Jason. But I haven't heard anything. You'd know more than I would."

"Great," I feel defeated, slumping back in my seat. I toy with the rim of the glass, feeling myself sinking back into the crappy feeling of my godfather and Adam's father being missing. It doesn't last long, though. A few seconds later, arms wrap around me, pulling me back against one warm, solid chest, and I know Adam has arrived.

* * *

"I missed you."

The words are spoken against my neck. Adam is biting them into my skin as his nose gently touches the same spot a second later. The sensation makes me dizzy, especially when his fingers move from my side, to the hem of my dress.

Adam had shown up with Gunner and Aja. They were all a little rowdy and red, and I knew right away they'd been somewhere else. Adam kissed my cheek, told Gunner to pay for my drink and he'd pay him back, then pulled me along with him. We didn't make it very far. He led me off to the side, just beyond the entrance, and I found myself against a cold wall, while warm fingers skimmed my thighs.

"I missed you, too."

I smile as he kisses my temple, and he stops what I want him to be doing to look at me.

We'd spent most of the day apart. While my father insisted neither of us accept any job yet, Adam had gone with Jason to observe a few of the open positions. I had been patiently waiting to hear about it, but I forgot all of that when his lips touched mine.

"I think we should go home," Adam mumbles, and his fingers move.

In the dark privacy of this corner, his bravery is easy. His fingers move beneath the short dress, across my thighs, and right to my ass. He pushes me back further, desperate to be closer, and my skin barely registers the cold wall behind me. All I can feel is the way he's touching the soft fabric that he's taken off a few times before, and how solid he is against me.

"Eva! Eva where'd you go?"

I lift my head away from Adam, trying hard not to snicker at a frantic Henry as he rushes right past us. He misses the sight of Adam and I together, and I silently watch him scan the area in pure disappointment when he doesn't see me. The check for my drink is in his hand, and I would bet anything he was trying to find a way to talk to me, even just to ring up my tab.

"Should I tell him?" Adam laughs against my hair, and I shake my head no. "I bet he'd love to know how good you feel."

My eyes widen in surprise, but I get the feeling Adam is a little drunker than I am.

Considering I'd had one drink and ten chicken fingers.

"How soft and warm you are…"

"We should go home," I whisper, because while I liked him confessing all this, I didn't want it happening while Henry stood scowling a few feet away. Adam must not hear me. He rests his head against mine, and his fingers curl into my skin.

"How much I like you…"

"Okay, come on." I manage to untangle us, feeling the wave of disappointment washing over him. He looks at me with a petulant sulk, and I smile widely. "It's warmer at home."

Adam is pacified by this, and we sneak right past Henry, down the hallway. At the last second, Adam changes our direction, guiding us toward one of the lesser used exits.

"This way. I want to show you something."

He must have suddenly found some endless patience and a moment of sobriety, and I'm left reeling in frustration as he takes us in the opposite direction of our apartment. This area is well lit, and my eyes protest the sudden burst of brightness.

"We can go outside for a second. I found this spot, well, Jason told me about it…"

Adam keeps talking, and I follow him willingly. My fingers are through his, and he walks quickly, pushing a button labeled Entryway like he knows exactly what he's doing. This docking bay is old; it's creaky and grey, the area rarely used unless the trucks needed more space to park, and even less used by the soldiers. The only way in was around the entire faction; you could cut through the woods, but that would be one long trek from the outside.

"What else did Jason tell you?"

Adam turns to me, smiling so widely it must hurt, and I know he's been dying to show me this place.

"You'll see."

The heavy doors start to lift. There's a mechanical whirl as they are raised, and a groan when the chain catches. But they open slowly, rising up with great effort.

"Adam are you sure this…"

I don't finish my sentence.

I freeze in place when the doors are fully opened, the outside dark and threatening, but lit up enough to reveal someone standing there.

"Fucking finally. I've been standing here forever, waiting for someone to notice I was outside."

The announcement is cheerful, happy and carefree, as Rylan steps toward us, his hair a total mess and his grin radiant.

His smile is so large and bright, that I almost fail to notice he's utterly and completely alone.


	30. Chapter 30

Thank you so much to **Bamberlee** for editing from the beach!

There are two chapters left + an epilogue + one more outtake. Thanks for following along all this time!

Have a great weekend everyone!

* * *

The chill is immediate.

I'm unprepared for the burst of cold, and it increases the longer we all stand there. It takes a moment for the sight before me to sink in, and even then, I still blink in disbelief. Before us is Rylan, standing there looking mostly normal, lit up by the warm glow of security lights.

I'd dare say he looks downright angelic.

He doesn't appear cold or even irritated, simply patiently waiting as a few flakes of snow drift down around him.

Adam and I stare at him.

There's a moment of…something, probably uncertainty that he isn't a ghost nor is he the wide-open space Adam wanted me to see, then a flash of joy when we realize he's alive.

"RYLAN!" I yell his name before I can stop myself, and I take off toward him. I hug him without question, grasping onto him like he's been gone years rather than a few weeks. His arms immediately wrap around me as tight as he can, and he stumbles back.

"Sup Eva," Rylan greets me cheerfully, and he smells interesting. Not dirty or like he'd walked back from wherever he was, but oddly familiar. "I'm assuming you thought I was dead," Rylan's voice is heavy with both insult and enthusiasm. "I take it you were not expecting me to come back?"

"Uh, sort of."

I say this against his chest, and I realize his flannel shirt is familiar, too. I lift my head up to look at him, and he smiles.

Knowingly.

"Did you and Adam have fun in Amity? By the way, how are you and Adam? Enjoying life?"

Rylan winks, his dark hair a mess and his boots untied, and he lets go of me to greet Adam. He steps away, examining us quickly, and when he's satisfied we're good, he smiles. I recognize his shirt as one of my grandpa's, his pants as Woody's, and his boots as Forrest's. He's woefully out of character in the brighter colors. There is nothing dark on him, no stiff uniform or hint of Dauntless. While his long hair cements the fact that he probably had no problem passing as someone from Amity, the sight makes me wonder if he'd been in Amity the same time we had.

"I hear you two had a blast. There's a big debate about when you'll be back. Harrison is convinced you're gonna move there."

Rylan keeps talking, chatting away like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. He's acting like he hasn't just been missing for days, like the faction hadn't spent the past two weeks trying to find him, and like he normally was waiting outside in the cold, to be let in the back door of Dauntless.

"Okay, are either of you going to talk? Or are you just going to admire my miraculous return?"

"Were you in Amity?" Adam stares at Rylan with relieved curiosity, but there's some hesitancy hiding in his words. While I'm sure he is happy to see Rylan alive, there is the huge question of where his father is, and why he isn't here. "And yeah, I'm good. Eva and I had fun. Up until Marcus tried to kill us."

The smile slips from Rylan's face, and it's replaced with a flash of pinched annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. I know. He was the last one anyone expected to see again. Sorry about that."

"It's not your fault," Adam responds carefully, stepping closer like he's not sure what to do. The hesitation comes from the unknown, but Rylan catches on quick.

"I bet you have some questions for me."

"Where's Four?"

Rylan and I speak at the same time, and he gestures outside with a bright smile.

"He didn't make it."

"_He didn't make it?!_" I repeat, pure horror rising up at the confirmation that Four was not alive. "Rylan, what happened?"

"Through security! They stopped him because they didn't recognize him. The beard kinda threw everyone off. I pretended I didn't know who he was, so they questioned him for a while." Rylan looks pleased with himself, but less pleased when he realizes neither of us are laughing. "Oh, come on. I spent almost two weeks with him. I know more about Four's bedtime routine than I've ever wanted to. Let me have this moment."

"So…he is alive, and he's just…stuck at the security checkpoint?" I'm the only one talking, and beside me, Adam looks torn between laughing and punching Rylan.

"Yep. I give him another twenty minutes. All the guys working are newbies and Four doesn't have any form of identification. They only recognized me because I shaved and Four wanted to pretend he was a wilderness explorer..."

"RYLAN ANTHONY…."

His name is cut off by someone shrieking, and it's not just Christina. I turn to the sight of an entire army of Dauntless behind her, rushing toward Rylan the same way they'd rushed toward Adam and me back in Erudite. My mother and father are here, both looking like they'd gotten out of bed on a moment's notice. Jason, striding quickly in our direction, visibly relieved to see his friend. TJ and Quinten, both standing with their arms crossed and big grins as everyone rushes past them. Arlene, struggling between staring at Adam and me or Rylan. Karl, trying to corral a loudly squealing Ethan and Evan, both demanding to see Rylan. Behind them, a row of soldiers spanning further than I can see, along with Molly, and the same guy who took my blood.

Someone must have alerted everyone Rylan was back, because he was getting the same, frenzied welcome we had.

Unlike us, he welcomes it.

"It's lovely to see you all. Thank you for coming out to see if I was dead or not!" Rylan holds his hands up triumphantly, smiling brightly as Karl gives up on trying to control his children.

"You asshole! You could have called me!" Christina yells, her dark hair swinging almost as violently as her fist, and she half mockingly punches him. "You promised me you'd be back in an hour! That was weeks ago!"

"I'm sorry!" Rylan apologizes as she throws herself at him, wrapping her arms around his chest and doing her best not to sob. "Things got out of hand. My phone blew up before I could call anyone! Four wouldn't let me use his because he lost it!"

His explanation is drowned out by her saying his name over and over, then losing out to Ethan and Evan officially having broken free from Karl. Victory is theirs; they grasp onto Rylan's legs, latching on so he can't move and they push Christina away.

"Welcome back." My father's dry voice rises up over everyone, and he stops beside Adam and me. "Aren't you missing someone?"

"He's outside," Rylan snickers, and there's yelling coming from the distance. "It sounds like he's having a real good time."

"Rylan…" my father says slowly, and he glances at Adam and I out of the corner of his eye. "What the fuck happened? You've been gone for almost…"

"I know. I know, trust me. I'm well aware of how much time I spent with Four. You'll never even believe what happened."

"Try me."

My father relaxes only when my mother grabs onto him, yawning suspiciously and pulling him close to warm her up. "I'm glad you're alive. We were starting to think the worst."

"I was also thinking the worst," Rylan manages to untangle Ethan and Evan from his legs, and he practically knocks them away, then picks them both up. Ethan immediately pulls on his hair in an attempt to gain leverage, and not to be outdone, Evan pulls on his shirt. "The entire time."

He walks over to Karl, and hands him both his children, ignoring their screams of annoyance at being handed back to their father.

"Someone should go outside and rescue Four. I'm going home to change. After that, I'll eat something not made of pita bread. Then, and only then, will I tell you the tale of how I single handedly saved Four's life."

"You're never going to let him live this down, are you?"

Jason's commentary is dry and entertained, and he smirks when Rylan shakes his head, absolutely delighted to be back in Dauntless. Rylan hugs him quickly, looking happier than ever to be back, and his grin is wider than I've ever seen it.

"Never."

* * *

"What do you think happened?"

The buzz from before is completely gone, and in its place is total impatient unease. Not for me, but for Adam. I was thrilled Rylan was back. On our walk back into the compound, he kissed the top of my head, told me he was very happy for me, then grabbed Christina's hand and sprinted home. Her yelling at him was fairly humorous; it echoed off the walls and bounced off the ceiling, and I heard him say flannel was not his favorite color and he missed her more than anything.

He also yelled he'd race her home, and if she lost, she had to buy him dinner.

Adam and I walked back inside with my mom. Jason, Karl, and my father went outside to get Four, and we took the twins along with us. The atmosphere quickly turned tense, until my mother suggested she take the boys to Charlotte and told us she'd be right back.

That left Adam and me walking alone. The hallway held an ominous tone, dark and never ending, but fitting for our current mindset. We'd had the fortunate reprieve from Marcus' attack, and days to do nothing but enjoy our time here, but this was real.

Very real.

This was Four and Rylan returning to share the tale of where they'd been, and why Rylan had insisted my father keep the security alert set to high.

"I don't know. I can't imagine where they were for two weeks," I glance up at Adam, realizing his expression is oddly tense. "I'm sure your dad is fine. I bet he'll want to see you."

"He should have told me about Marcus."

His words are sharp. They are pointed and firm and very true. Four should have told Adam about Marcus, even just hinted enough of a warning that Adam knew who he was. He hadn't, for whatever reason he had decided upon, but the outcome hadn't been favorable for any of us.

"Blythe is no better," I remind him, hoping he doesn't think I'm patronizing him. The last thing I want is for him to think I approve of him being left in the dark, because I'd been in the same situation he had. "She wanted me dead, too. I think they both thought they were doing us a favor."

"Yeah, our death would have been the greatest favor of all. Murdered at the hands of our family."

He's a single step ahead of me, but Adam radiates with an anger I recognize and a loathing I understand. The bitterness is the culmination of every angry feeling he's ever had toward his father. Every argument they'd ever been in, every moment of irritation built up until right now.

While I knew Four had done his best raising Adam, it wouldn't do any good pointing it out, nor would it make him less angry. It would be like Adam telling me my father was too worried for my safety, or too in my business.

We both knew these things, just admitting them was easier said than done.

"Adam," I stop in my tracks, and so does he. His head tilts at me, and the look on his face tells me he's not happy at all for this reunion. "Let's just…hear what he has to say. Maybe he's got some brilliant reason why he didn't tell you."

"Are you sure you want to hear how we could have done more? How we should have taken care of ourselves? And Marcus? How we failed?" Adam's voice rises up, and his eyes flash darker than they were a second ago.

The words hurt, because I had thought them myself. I'd sunk beneath overly scented bubbles, into a bath of my own self-pity, thinking I hadn't done enough. It had taken me some time to realize there was no way I could have killed Marcus, not the way things had unfolded. I suppose I could have done more; I could have tried to take him down myself, I could have risked him killing Adam or even me, all for the sake of bravery.

But I hadn't done any of that.

I had done all I could to make sure we stayed alive.

We both had.

We'd done our best, and there was nothing more we could have done to change things. Had we stayed, sticking around in wet snow and dwindling light, our fate would have been much different. We would have wound up trapped in the woods, with no way out, and a man who had no issue killing us.

"Everyone here knows what we went through. If Four wants to talk to us about how we survived, then we tell him what happened. That's it. There's nothing else to say. I worried about that very same thing but really, what other option did we have?"

"He's going to say he would have handled it differently," Adam points out, and his posture changes to something defensive. "He's going to say we were trained for that. Trained to fight against someone trying to kill us and…"

"I don't think anyone trained us to be deceived by your grandfather." I stand up as straight as I can, gaining no real leverage, but it's enough that Adam nods. "I say we show up. Smile. Listen to what happened to him and Rylan, say goodnight, and then you and I go home. Just us."

He doesn't blink. Adam looks at me while he mentally debates something, but he's not as furious as he was a second ago. The reminder that we are an _us_ softens the simmering rage. Finally, Adam smiles, a heavy one that tells me us going home together is the only thing he's happy out, and he eventually agrees.

"Alright. Lead the way. I don't even know where we're supposed to go."

His words slip right past me, carried away by the chilly breeze that Jason swore was a ghost lurking in the hallway.

* * *

Of course, Rylan makes everyone meet at Clyde's.

It takes an hour for everyone to show up. Rylan arrives looking like his normal self; he's showered, washed his hair, changed out of the flannel shirt and work boots and instead thrown on a dark t-shirt, dark pants, and a pair of unlaced shoes. His hair is twisted back up and out of his face, and his eyes gleam with a mischievous glint that means we're in for quite the story.

Christina looks better, too.

She sits next to him looking less stressed out, and she busies herself by asking Adam and me if we've tried the guacamole dip.

She, too, returns to her old self, gasping dramatically when I tell her we haven't.

Next to me, Adam is impatient.

There's a heavy dread that builds the longer we sit there, and I understand Adam's avoidance of seeing Four. He didn't particularly enjoy either of us: Adam had pissed him off by refusing to speak to him once he didn't have to, and I had pissed him off by being the person Adam wanted to be with. I wasn't nervous to see Four, nor did I think he would say anything to me, but I felt a mirrored anxiety that he and Rylan had been gone for weeks because of us. The situation wasn't good any way you looked at it, and there was a high chance we'd be blamed.

By the time my parents arrive –my mother wearing my father's jacket and a pair of leggings and my father looking like he'd much rather be going home – I'm ready to leave. I try to distract myself, taking a sip of the gingery drink we'd ordered, and I pretend that Adam kicking my foot is because he wants my attention and not because he's nervous.

I smile reassuringly, but my attention turns to my father, scowling as he surveys the table.

"Where the fuck is he? Just because he almost died doesn't mean I have all day to wait for him." My father sits down next to me, trapping Adam and I from escaping. He takes up most of the space, then yanks my mom against him and demands she call Tris.

"They're right there. They were behind us the whole time, but you were too worked up to notice," my mother answers him dryly, her lips turning up as she points past a few tables. Adam and I look where she's pointing, and there they are.

Four and Tris, walking into Clyde's.

I squint at them, half expecting Four to look worse than he does. He doesn't look great by any means. Exhausted is too slight a word to describe the look in his eyes, and aggravated is just as weak. He walks with his shoulders up high, and his stare straight ahead. His mouth is set in a thin line, and his hair is longer than I remember. There is no smile or even recognition that we are here, until he realizes we are sitting by my parents.

His eyes land on us –happy and alive, no longer bruised or bloodied –and there's a hint of disbelief to his stare.

I feel it at the same time Adam does.

His hand finds mine, grasping my fingers so tight it hurts.

Luckily for us, Jason slaps Four on the arm, gingerly, then pushes him toward a seat away from Adam and me. "Welcome back, old man. Meghan is sleeping, but I know she'll be thrilled to hear you're alive. She sends her unconscious regards."

Jason sits down in the chair closer to us, forcing Four and Tris into the one next to him. He steals a glimpse in our direction, then flashes them a wide smile as he pretends he isn't putting space between Four and Adam.

"He doesn't care. Four hates everyone right now. Except for me." Rylan snickers as he drops into the seat beside Four, and he tilts his chair back so far it looks like he's about to tip over. "Should we tell them?"

"Rylan, it's not…" Four starts to speak, and but he's cut off by Lucy dropping off waters. She has someone helping her, and they work fast to make sure everyone has something to drink. "Look, what happened was a mistake and we handled it. We're both alive, Marcus is no longer a threat, and if everything goes according to plan, the factionless will leave everyone alone."

"Were the factionless a concern?" Christina looks at my mom, then my father. "I thought you were looking for Peter and Marcus."

"We were. Four is just trying to sound cool. I'll tell you what really happened. Make sure you pay attention, because I'm not telling you twice." Rylan ignores him when my father rolls his eyes, and motions for him be quiet. "Okay, let me set the scene."

He pauses, and Four sighs heavily.

I have a feeling he'd been subject to Rylan's dramatics for quite some time now, and he was over it.

"After a brilliant and challenging day with me overseeing the training class, there was an issue. Minor, at best, but still a problem. An attack of sorts, on my goddaughter. She fought hard, but ultimately, it was decided Eva would stay in Amity and Adam would return to Dauntless. This didn't bode well with either of them, seeing as how they were destined to be together. Torn apart by an evil villain and an even more evil side kick, they spent a few measly hours away from each other. Undeterred by their love for one another, Adam made the decision to return to Amity to be with his one true love."

"RYLAN…"

My father looks ready to clock him, but Rylan smiles sweetly.

"Don't worry. Forbidding angsty parents play into this, too."

"Just tell us where you were." My father is practically growling at him, but everyone else is trying not to laugh.

"Wait, no I'm liking this story. Rylan, do go on." My mother fully encourages Rylan, gesturing for him to continue. "We all know Adam went to get Eva. But then what? What happened to you and Four?"

"Thank you, EVERLY, my favorite Coulter. So anyway, Adam leaves. He tells his dad off, hops on a train, and arrives in the inviting and heavily populated Amity faction. Where he's observed by several people. Not just Harrison. Not just the people trying to get all the cows inside. By fucking Peter."

"Peter?" There are a few people who say his name, and Rylan nods.

"Lurking in the woods, realizing he has a chance for revenge where Jeremy failed. Because Adam is not looking for Peter or someone hunting him down, he's looking for Eva. He finds her. They reunite, Harrison claims it was very romantic, and they get to spend a week in Amity, having fun, lighting stuff on fire, going sledding, and not listening to everyone whine about how cold it is. Then on a dark stormy afternoon, Four gets a call and he thinks it's a prank. Despite her kind and gentle nature, he thinks Eva is messing with him. Still pissed off over Adam's insubordination and determination to marry Eric's daughter, Four is on edge. Even more so when he thinks Eva said the word _Marcus_."

"Eva…" Four says my name, and our eyes meet. They are nothing like Adam's; they hold a similar speck of regret and I have a feeling this part of Rylan's story doesn't paint him in a very flattering light.

He doesn't finish his sentence. He looks away when Rylan keeps talking and he exhales sharply when Lucy bumps into him.

"Four and I decide to go investigate. I volunteer, because I am bored. Little did I know, I should have stayed here. Anyway, we drive out to Amity, leaving Eric and Jason to look at the cameras. By the time we reach the border, Eric is hysterically yelling in my ear. Full on melting down, worse than the time he lost Everly to Evelyn. Turns out, it _was_ Eva calling and she _did_ say Marcus. Eric informs us half the cameras are down, but they saw Eva and Adam by the Dome. By the time Four and I get there, we think we're about to save the day. We see a set of footprints. We see some tracks. We decide to follow said footprints into the woods, but at some point, we go the wrong way. The tracks split; we go left, Adam and Eva had gone right."

"So you were there when we were?" I lean forward, and Adam's knee knocks into my leg. "Did you hear us?"

"Unfortunately, no. I thought we were, but the timing was off. We followed the tracks into the woods until we found a river. I said we should turn back. Four said we should keep going. He believed if Marcus had you, he'd want to hurt you both. So, despite the fact that it was dark and hard to see shit, we continued on. We made it down this hill, down into a valley, right into a factionless camp."

"A factionless camp? Did they attack you?" My mother stares at Rylan and Four, and she looks pretty stressed out. "I thought they'd been quiet lately."

"They have been quiet. At first, they didn't pay much attention to us. Until they realized we were looking for someone. If you remember, we cut down on how many people we make factionless. Despite that, there are still a great number who live outside their chosen faction. Jeremy had a whole fucking family living out there. Marcus had a weird support system of people who believed he knew what he was talking about. Peter, the worst person in the entire world, had friends. Who would have thought?!"

"Rylan, just…get to the point," Four mutters, and he uncrosses his arms when Lucy returns with plates of garlic bread.

"They weren't happy to see us. Jeremy hadn't returned, because Harrison nearly killed him. Peter had been working to build his own army of idiots and most were trained to attack at the sight of anyone in a Dauntless uniform. Marcus had told them all Four enjoyed seeing them factionless and thought they deserved it. So they did attack, and let me tell you, while I still believe myself to be in fantastic shape, it was a lot harder to fend off a dozen men coming for my throat than I remember."

"How did you get away?" I look over at Adam, and he's staring at his glass. "Did you shoot them?"

"_Yes_," Rylan emphasizes the word. "And to our surprise, they were armed. They had all kinds of guns they'd scavenged. Jeremy had taken a few with him, there were some they bought at the market, some they found or took when they attacked our soldiers. There were a few times I thought I would die. My entire life flashed before my eyes, and I realized I hadn't even seen Eva get married yet."

"_The guns are sold at the market_?" There's a flash of horror, hot and quick, that someone could just buy a weapon there, and less that Rylan is concerned he hasn't attended my wedding.

"People will find them however they can. There are a few men and women from Dauntless and plenty who aren't so honest. We inventory ours frequently, but they're discarded when they're deemed unusable. It's not unlikely they repaired them." Rylan answers, and he takes a large bite of the garlic bread. "Shit, real food. This is so good."

"So you killed them all and then what?"

"Not all. There were families there," Four answers slowly, and he hasn't touched anything in front of him. "We took out the ones who were armed and trying to kill us. Some surrendered, offering to help if we didn't kill them. Unfortunately, we had both been shot and we were outnumbered by the ones who wanted us dead. Rylan had been stabbed in the arm and they forced us into the river. We crossed at a shallow point, but then were stuck on the other side while they continued to shoot." Four speaks evenly, and he only looks at Rylan when Rylan makes an unimpressed sound. "Okay, it wasn't that shallow, but we got across. This was my idea, not Rylan's. It turned out to be a mistake, because they flanked the riverbank so we couldn't get back. So we walked along the tracks, in the dark, until we found somewhere to cross back."

"How the hell are either of you alive?" My father barks at them, not at all touching his water or the bread. "Eva and Adam nearly froze in the river."

"Oh, it gets better. So much better." Rylan makes a face, and he quickly orders two hamburgers, a steak, and a side of macaroni and cheese. "We did almost die. At a certain point, I was starting to see things. I had long thought the cold never bothered me but, anyway, it did. My feet hurt. My vision was blurring. Four was speaking Japanese."

"I was asking you if you were okay. In English." Four grits out, and Rylan ignores him.

"We would have died, but I realized we were almost to the very outskirts of Amity. It wasn't great news, because the faction is huge. In my weakened state, we made the decision to head back toward the faction. We went right through the river, again. By the time we thought we could see the houses, we could barely walk. It was dark, there was too much snow, and everyone was yelling. Four finally pointed out we were back at the factionless camp. Faced with either trekking back through the snow and facing death or staying there, we chose to stay there."

"We didn't so much choose as we passed out." Four interjects, and he shakes his head. "I made sure Rylan wasn't going to bleed to death, and he made sure to let me know where I ranked on his friends list."

"Ironically, he's fourth," Rylan adds. "Eric. Jason. Karl. Then Four."

"Because of the attack, the factionless had fled. It wasn't the safest option, but we figured we'd stay until morning and see how we felt. Neither of us were in any shape to be walking anywhere, and it was shelter out of the snow. We were on edge thinking Marcus would come back, but we didn't have a choice. We spent what we thought was two or three days just…trying to survive. Ate whatever they had, which wasn't much. Drank whatever we could find. When Rylan's arm stopped bleeding, we figured we'd head back into Amity. We made it all the way to Harrison's house, only to find no one home. We left, figuring we'd have better luck if we went back to Dauntless. We were trying to find someone to drive us back, but Harrison had put the faction on lockdown. He was convinced Marcus was still out there, and if the faction wasn't looking for Adam and Eva, they were at home with their doors locked."

"Weird, but understandable." Rylan muses, and he looks at my mom. "So, this part gets a little crazy, but bear with me. We walked all the way to the dome. No one. All the way to the stables. No one. All the way up the stairs, to the shitty old office. No one. We tried to connect on the computer, but it didn't work. Wouldn't dial, wouldn't even connect. By this time, Four was losing his patience and his charm. We argued. It wasn't pretty. He insulted me, left and right."

"I apologized. I said it was the fact that we hadn't really eaten in days, and Amity was a ghost town," Four answers defensively, and his stare is glued to the table. "We finally ran into Harrison when we walked outside. He took us back to his house, where we found out Eden had taken care of Marcus."

"What!" This time, my mother's gasp is louder than Christina's. "My mother? Marcus was there?"

"Yeahhh, that's a really fun story you'll want to call her about. According to Eden, after Eva and Adam went missing, Marcus came looking for Harrison. Instead he found her in the kitchen, making pancakes. She told us she had a bad feeling the first time she met him, but this time, he was so enraged that she thought he was going to kill her. So she hit him in the head. By the way, she sent a cast iron skillet for Eva. Said it'll come in handy." Rylan's eyes light up, and he beams at me. "Anyway, your grandma is badass. She didn't want to kill Marcus completely, since she was acting on a hunch. So, she hit him with all the force she could, then called Harrison to come home. Harrison took care of the rest."

"So you two just…hung out there, and no one thought to call us?" I ask what I believe to be a logical question, but Rylan makes a face.

Four sinks lower in his chair.

"Four lost his phone in the river. Mine exploded during the battle with the factionless. I thought we'd borrow Harrison's, but there was no time. Once Eden realized we were injured, we were treated to the finest Amity medical care one could experience. I'm talking all of it. Herbs, potions, lotions, witchcraft, and a voodoo doll made of Four's hair that was used to try and rid him of his demons."

"Eden was kind enough to make sure we were alright, and not in dire need of medical attention," Four interrupts testily, rolling his eyes and I'm somewhat amused by this turn of events. I didn't always believe in whatever my grandmother was cooking up, but she knew a lot more than Four thought. "Once she was sure Rylan wouldn't lose his arm, and that neither of us were suffering from the cold, she and Harrison arranged to have us come back here. It was then, and only then, we learned we had been gone almost two weeks."

"So you're saying Rylan's arm could have rotted off?" Jason leans in, and his smile is highly entertained. "Nice."

"No, _not _nice, Jason. I need both of them, thank you very much." Rylan retorts, and he swings his gaze over to Adam and me. "We also learned Adam and Eva were golden. They'd made it away from Marcus and all the way to Erudite and had been in the care of Daniel. Which did not please Harrison."

"We couldn't get back to him. We were on the other side of the train tracks," I answer, and I notice Four looking at me very intently. He's still not smiling. He doesn't seem to find any of Rylan's story funny, nor does he look happy to be back. "We almost died getting on the train, and somehow made it to my grandpa's."

"You're lucky. It was so cold out there I thought we'd freeze to death for sure. Eden and Harrison were quick to let us know you were both okay."

I smile at Rylan, but something nags at the back of my mind.

"What about Peter? And Marcus is…?"

"Dead," Four answers flatly. "Harrison took out Marcus once he went after Eden. From what Eden told us, Marcus and Peter got into it in the woods over who got to deal with Eva and Adam. When we saw Peter, he'd been shot. It wasn't fatal, until we took our turn."

"The only way he's coming back here is as a ghost!" Rylan exclaims, and he's delighted when Lucy drops off his macaroni and cheese. "So now, everyone is safe. The factionless know better than to fuck with anyone related to Eric or Four, the families that were there fled, and we are back home alive and mostly well. Day saved."

"So now what?" Tris finally speaks, having been silent this whole time. She and Four don't look as pleased to see each other as one would think. In fact, she's sitting with her arms crossed, and her stare is somewhere between Adam and the large deer skull bolted on the wall behind us.

"Now…everyone is free to celebrate. Adam and Eva can live happily ever after, Four can get his hair cut, my arm will heal just fine, and Eric won't have to worry that someone will kill his daughter. Unless you want to bring up Blythe, but we think she's too scared to do anything now. She probably figured that out when Jeremy failed his murder attempt."

"I see," my dad answers Rylan slowly, thinking while he talks. "Are we following up with all this? The factionless? Harrison? Eden?"

"I would think so. I thought we could send some patrol squads out there. Remind the factionless what is really going on. Do some damage control. Bring Eden a cake or something for keeping all my limbs intact. What do you think Four?" Rylan swallows down a large bite of his mac and cheese, and patiently waits for him to answer. "Or are you still bitter that all this happened?"

Everyone turns to look at him. He's still looking at me, but he glances over at Rylan when he speaks.

"I'm not bitter," Four responds, and his tone turns sharp. "But it could have been avoided. Had Adam stayed here, no one would have gone after him and Eva. Eva would have been fine with Harrison, but by going to Amity, they made themselves targets. These past two weeks were completely unnecessary. Both of them were trained as soldiers, and both failed to listen to anything they were told. Instead, we had soldiers out trying to find them, soldiers patrolling through factions for no reason, and men and women on a man hunt for someone who was already dead."

And there it is.

The blame I'd been expecting.

It's just as gut wrenching as I thought it would be, maybe more so.

I'm not the only one thrown off by this. The entire table falls silent as no one says anything in response. Everyone looks anywhere but at Four in hopes he'll say something else, something less angry. but they wind up staring at Adam and me. Adam shifts in his seat, then slowly drops his hand away from mine and tilts his head like he's thinking this over.

"You really think this is our fault?" Adam's voice mirrors his fathers, and my mother and Tris exchange a heavy look. "You think I should have just stayed here? That if I hadn't gone to see Eva, that none of this would have happened? That Eva and I were trained to take down Jeremy and Marcus?"

"Yes."

"Marcus could have found them anywhere," my mother shakes her head, and my father sits up straighter. "He could have come here. Same thing with Jeremy. He got right next to the training class, so close he touched Rachel. Marcus could have done the same. It might have been worse had it happened in their home faction."

Four is silent.

His eyes stay on the knot in the worn table, and he shrugs. "Orders are orders, Everly. You and Tris know what happens when you don't listen to a direct command."

My mother blinks.

Her whole expression shifts, losing its sympathetic smile and turning defensive. "I was eighteen, Four. The same age as Eva and Adam. And you know what, I'd do it all over again. If the person I loved was in trouble, I'd go looking for them without hesitation."

"Eva wasn't in trouble. She was with her grandfather, who's also trained to handle such a situation."

"Four…" my mother snaps his name and in a rare moment of losing her patience, she looks livid. "If it had been Tris, you would have gone without a second thought."

"Everly, it's fine," my father barks. He's not so much trying to soothe the situation, as much as he's taking everything in, cataloging this for later. "Four must have hit his head while he was in Amity. That's the only reason why he could possibly be upset over his son leaving Dauntless to go find Eva."

He glances over at me, then back at Four.

"I know being stuck in Amity wasn't ideal, but we were assuming the worst. We had alerts out to every faction looking for you."

"Harrison said he'd call," Four mutters. "He's far busier than I expected him to be. He said he'll be by this week sometime."

"I have a question. Since you think this is my fault, why didn't _you_ ever say anything about Marcus?" Adam's voice is louder than before, strong and burning with anger. "Why didn't you tell me I had a grandfather out there, just waiting to kill me?"

"He's no grandfather. He was never even a father," Four answers darkly. Beside him, Tris' expression changes. Panic lurks beneath the surface as she reaches for him, looking stunned when he shakes his head. "Had you listened to me, none of this would have happened. There would be no need to talk about Marcus and no need for Rylan and me to have been trapped together in Amity."

A seat away, Rylan chokes on his mac and cheese. He coughs, then coughs harder when Christina hits him on the back to help him. "So, you're saying you didn't have fun with me?"

"No."

"Four, that's not fair," my mother looks confused, but determined to talk some sense into her friend. She leans toward the table as my father stares down Four. "We didn't tell Eva about Blythe, because we didn't think Blythe would ever try anything. That was a mistake on our part, a huge mistake. But Eva and Adam didn't know who Marcus was and it turned out much more dangerous than anyone thought. All Adam is saying is that if he had known who Marcus was, they wouldn't have gone with him."

Four looks at her, but his expression is unreadable.

"You really can't blame them. They were trying to help someone who asked. Everyone in Amity helps each other. They'd have no reason to be suspicious of someone asking for a favor," my mother continues, and I silently thank her for sticking up for us.

I have a feeling it's not enough.

"I warned Adam that Eva was trouble…" Four looks right at me. "I told him to stay here and he could wait until she came back."

I nearly drop the drink I'm holding.

"I'm trouble?" I repeat, totally caught off guard. "I didn't do anything! I was attacked in the woods and told to stay in Amity. I didn't call Adam and ask him to come see me. I didn't know who Marcus was, either. I went with Adam to try and get him away from Marcus. I got us to Erudite…I took us to my grandpa... I…"

My defense is cut short.

"He was told to stay here. He disobeyed direct orders."

Four's answer is flat, and I'm surprised Adam hasn't leapt across the table yet. He's staring at his father with an expression of pure and utter loathing, and it doesn't lessen when Four keeps talking.

"All I'm saying is, things are fine, but none of this would have happened if you two had listened."

"Are you serious right now?" My father stands up, knocking my mother out of the way, and I'm reminded why people are afraid of him. His stare is dark enough that Four looks away, and his hands are balled into fists. "You have a lot of nerve to call my daughter trouble."

"He went looking for her…"

"You can't truly be this dense." My dad points at Four, and my mother stands up, the action frantic as she predicts what's coming. "You dare think all this happened because of Eva? Because if you do, you've got another thing coming."

"Four, just stop. None of this is good, we know. But blaming Eva or even Adam for leaving…that's not right." Tris stands up, too, but she's not holding on to Four. She looks irritated, and he looks surprised at her expression. "You're talking about Adam like he's some random soldier. He's your son. We've considered Eva part of our family since day one. You're about to ruin everything you have because you think you know what Adam should and shouldn't do."

"Tris, he left…"

"Because he wanted to make sure Eva was safe. You would have done the same for me." Tris' voice takes on a pleading tone, and my mother takes hold of my father's hand. They look at each other, my father staring down at my mother and my mother staring up at him, and she nods slightly

"Four…" Tris keeps talking, sharing some quiet logic that Four is ignoring, and the situation takes a turn for the worse when he refuses to give in. Adam scoots closer, so close I can feel him breathing, and I have the urge to stand up and leave.

This could not be happening.

In my heart, I had thought things might be sticky when Four returned. I knew he would think that we caused this, but I didn't expect him to come right out and blame us. His anger was even at both of us; me for existing, and Adam for leaving when he told him not to.

"We all know you would have done the same thing." Tris repeats softly, but it only makes things worse.

"I would have realized what I was being asked to do." Four snaps, and his eyes flash. "None of you are upset at this? None of you think this could have been avoided? Everyone is fine with how this went down?"

"Take the week off, Four. When you're done suffering from your little excursion and the lingering trauma of your childhood, you and I can talk. Until then, you leave my daughter alone. Actually, you leave both of them alone. If you saw them when they were in Erudite, you wouldn't be blaming them for anything." My father speaks evenly, his voice so stern that even Rylan winces. He catches my eye, and I realize Four must have said a few things while they were in Amity. "Eva, Adam, we're leaving. I suggest you head home as well. Rylan, enjoy your dinner. We'll celebrate tomorrow. Tell Lucy to charge my card for whatever else you want to eat."

"Sure," Rylan answers, trying to force some joy back in his voice, but he looks crushed. "Okay, well, that's not how I was expecting this to end. I guess I'll see you all tomorrow…"

The celebration comes to a screeching halt.

Christina whispers something to Rylan, her head bent toward his and her voice soft, and his smile is pretty glum. Lucy arrives to drop off his food, confused as everyone stands up.

"Um, are you guys done?"

No one answers her. My mother and father gesture for us to follow them, and Lucy tries to figure out if we're leaving.

We are.

We could stay and sit here, trying to explain ourselves or what had happened, but it won't do any good. Before Tris can tell Lucy what's going on, Four stands up and storms out. He leaves Tris standing with my mother, looking miserable as ever.

My mother says her name, but Tris is quick to tell her it'll be fine.

"I'm going to go talk to him. I'll see you tomorrow," Tris smiles, and it's pained. Her expression stays in my mind the entire walk home, right up until the moment Adam unlocks our door, and I realize Adam hasn't said a single word since we left Clyde's.

Only my father did, loudly announcing things would be better in the morning, and if they weren't, he'd personally handle them.

* * *

"He's wrong."

I announce this firmly, determined to fix this in the next hour.

Adam looks up from beneath me, his eyebrows knitted together. I'd been lying with my head on his chest, and my fingers tracing the outline of the muscle he'd worked hard to build. He'd been absolutely silent since we got home. He took a shower, threw on the first pair of boxer briefs he found, and went to bed. I half expected him to say something, anything, but he didn't.

He was staring at the ceiling when I climbed into our bed, and his eyes were heavy.

"It's not your fault, or mine that Marcus was there. Or, okay say it is. Maybe you should have stayed here and waited for me to come back. Maybe I should have come back here. But none of that matters now. All that matters is we're alive. Why doesn't he see that?"

"He doesn't want to," Adam finally responds, dull and unhappy. "It's not what he would have done, therefore it's wrong. This, right here, has been my entire life. One wrong decision after the other."

He turns to look at me, locking his eyes on mine until his soften.

"Not you, Eva. You are the only one who believed in what I was doing. Even when I was wrong you didn't throw it in my face. I led you right into the woods and you still wanted to be with me. You never once reminded me this was my fault."

"I wouldn't, because it's not," I shake my head, and I rise up on my side. Adam's hair is still damp, dark against the pillow, and even darker against his skin. "What happened was a mistake. A mistake anyone would have made."

Adam nods, but his gaze is a million miles away. "Would your dad have been that upset if you had made it?"

I pretend to mull this over, knowing Adam had seen my father angry a few times. It was never aimed at us; he mostly got pissed off over insubordinate soldiers or someone screwing around and how it affected him. He was terrifying to those who didn't know the extent of what he was capable of. The idea of Eric Coulter was often scarier than the actuality of Eric Coulter, but he was quick to follow through when the faction needed to be reminded of him and his authority.

Still, he wouldn't have blamed me. I could have gone to Blythe's house for dinner and his only rage would have been from his own negligence in revealing who she was and that I didn't tell him I was going.

But he wouldn't hold it against me.

"No. He might have been upset that I was in trouble, or if I'd given up, but he wouldn't think to blame me. Or be mad I was alive when I could have died."

My answer is the confirmation he needs. Adam shrugs, and his fingers touch my jaw, then my ear, curling to pull me back down to him.

I move toward him willingly, until my forehead touches his, and his exhale is so heavy I feel it in my bones.

"That's what I thought."

* * *

A day later, I sit at one of the less popular coffee shops at an ungodly hour.

I yawn into my drink, something sweet and warm and made with absolutely no enthusiasm by the man with so many piercings I lost count. My plan to come down here was a good one, but it had me up much earlier than I wanted to be. I'd left Adam half asleep, one arm thrown over the empty space where I'd been sleeping, and a sulky look on his face when he found the sheets to be a poor substitution for me.

Unfortunately, nothing was any better. A single day had passed since Four returned, and those twenty-four hours might as well have been an eternity. Each one felt heavy; I kept checking my phone in hopes that my father would announce Four had changed his mind, and Adam distracted himself by watching every episode of the vampire documentary he could find. There was no word from any of our parents, only Rachel and Aja, furiously texting us to let us know they'd seen Rylan skipping around the compound, away from an area suspiciously out of power and even more suspiciously being evacuated.

It took my mind off Four's return for a minute, but not long. When the memory of his words came back, I tried to look on the bright side.

There really wasn't one.

So, I decided that while no news wasn't necessarily good news, I had other things to worry about.

Namely, my uncle.

I hadn't seen Zander since returning to Dauntless, and his absence was as noticeable as Kat's. Their whirlwind romance was rumored to run deep; Rachel had updated me that she still was convinced Zander was going to see Kat, and Kat was still nowhere to be found. Whatever was going on between them was now intensely private. The two of them were existing in their own world, much like Adam and me, but I decided enough was enough.

Zander was my uncle, and no matter who he was dating, I still wanted to know he was okay.

Which meant camping out at his favorite place to get his caffeine fix. He preferred the darkest coffee shop we had, with the most indifferent but interesting looking members working here. So far, I'd counted three mullets. Two ironic, one not. Twenty-nine different tattoos, and one man crowing about how he was getting his shins done later today. A guy with large, heavy bolts through his eyebrows, horizontally, giving him a permanent, frightening expression as he passed out drinks. A girl with hair braided in large loopy sections, then twisted up to create multiple buns. Her shirt was see-through, revealing a neon yellow bra and a chest piece that appeared to be an octopus taking down a pirate ship, with a heart above it.

The one in charge was the most normal looking of all: his hair was nothing crazy, a standard buzz cut in case he was called into battle, but his entire body was covered in tattoos. He was taller than anyone I'd ever seen before, but he appeared friendly.

Friendlier than the others.

Still, I knew Zander loved this place. He fully believed this was the coolest coffee shop ever. Ironically, it wasn't anywhere my father would step foot, but it was still Zander approved.

I start to grow impatient when the moms of Dauntless show up, and I watch them with mild interest. The baristas don't look like they enjoy them, but they take their points without much complaint, and the moms look super happy to be in such a hip establishment. A few comment that it's dark in here, and one says that's good, because she's pretty hungover after their girls' night out.

When they step to the side, Mr. Metal eyes the blondest one with great scrutiny, and his sneer tells me he doesn't think they belong in here, nor are they strong enough to sip his lattes.

None of the women waiting worked any of the patrol routes or outside jobs, and most worked either in the offices, shops, or in administration. I faintly recognize one from the place I bought my boots, twirling her hair and bouncing her baby on her hip. She talks with her friend, a woman with purple hair so vibrant it hurts my eyes, and they discuss how Charlotte's class is currently full, and how unfair it is that she wasn't even accepting anyone on the wait list.

The metal laden man makes her drink while also listening, then kindly informs her Charlotte will be on maternity leave soon, and the substitute teacher might take more kids. He goes on to explain he has three of his own, and I idly wonder if his toddlers are as pierced as he is.

Or if they all have mullets.

Right before I die of boredom, Zander plunks himself into the empty chair across from me, and my eyes widen.

Not because I'm thrilled to see him or because I've missed my uncle more than anything.

Because he looks like crap.

"Hey, Eva. I uh, I heard you were back. Sorry I didn't come see you sooner."

His voice is as rough as his appearance; there's more than a hint of a hangover there, and the shadows under his eyes tell me this isn't a new development. He looks tired, exhausted even, and the only thing passable about him is his haircut. It's freshly trimmed, shaved only on the sides and long in the back. Everything else is rumpled, halfway buttoned, and looks like it had been on the floor for a few months and he was wearing it because he ran out of clean laundry.

Which reminds me I'd completely forgotten his shirts back in Amity.

"You look awful." I grasp my drink tighter, catching his immediate frown. "Sorry, that was rude. How are you?"

"It's fine. I'm used to it. Your mother said worse," Zander waves my insult away, and he rubs his eyes. "I'm doing great. Awesome. Fantastic. Glad you and Adam are alright. I heard about your return. I'm hoping you felt…. prepared for what happened."

He stares at me, sizing me up to see if he thought I could have taken down someone attacking me, but I pretend I don't notice. Zander shouldn't be worried about if I was trained or not. He'd done a great job as our trainer, but even all the hard work I'd put in couldn't prepare me for the exact situation of meeting Marcus.

"You don't sound so great," I take a sip of the drink, and to his credit, Zander humors me by rolling his eyes.

"Sorry, but uh, since you've been gone, my girlfriend dumped me in the middle of the Pit. Refused to talk to me. Wouldn't answer my calls or texts. Took a job as far away from me as she could get. Won't even look at me when I see her in the hallway. Four yelled at me. Eric yelled at me. Even Karl yelled at me, and I wasn't even the one who stepped on his foot. So yeah, I haven't been doing so hot lately. I think I might get fired."

"That's definitely not what I was expecting to hear," I try to sound casual, like Rachel hadn't told me this. Though she had left out the part about everyone yelling at him. "Why did Kat dump you? I thought you guys were madly in love with each other. Didn't you say you'd never dump her?"

"I was going to propose," Zander answers glumly. "Right after initiation. Eric warned me I had to do it once she was an official member. Something about people asking too many questions about the timeline of our relationship and thinking she was getting to stay just because I wanted her to. So I agreed, and right before I could, she said it was over."

"Why?" I take another sip of the drink, rewarded with a rush of espresso and vanilla, and I hope it kicks in soon. "Because of me?"

"Well…" Zander stalls, and he does a poor job of pretending he's not. "She was really upset that you were pissed off. And that you thought she was a shitty friend."

"She was!" I set my drink down with more force than necessary, and the barista eyes me from behind the counter as I dare insult his carefully crafted drink by sloshing it around. "Zander, I would support Kat no matter what, but she stopped talking to me. She told me she was dating someone, and she didn't even say it was you!"

"We talked about telling you. I think you know that conversation was a little awkward," Zander admits. He rubs the back of his neck, and he looks sheepish. "I met her before your training. I liked her back then. I thought for sure I'd be the one to fuck it up, and I was right. I fucked it up by being your uncle and it ruined her friendship with you."

"I could always fire you from the family," I suggest, not entirely joking. "Please don't think you ruined anything. She apologized to me during the War Games, and I wasn't ready to accept it. I felt like she'd been so crappy that it wasn't worth it. Or that she didn't really mean it, but she just didn't want me mad at her."

"She was devastated that you blew her off."

"I was in a treehouse, freezing my ass off! It wasn't exactly the ideal time to have a heart to heart talk with the girl dating my uncle. The only thing weirder would be if she announced she was dating Rylan." I lean back in my chair, and I shake my head. "I don't want things to be weird. I want her and I to be friends, and I want you and her to be back together."

"Doubtful," Zander shrugs, but he looks marginally happier than before. "I have been going to see her, but she's not exactly thrilled about it."

"Maybe ease up on the stalking, just for a minute." I attempt a joke, and he cracks the barest hint of a smile. "Tell me where to find her. I'll go talk to her. I'll even tell her I have no issues with the two of you. You can get married a million times if that's what makes you two happy."

"You're oddly supportive," Zander eyes me suspiciously, but his frown isn't real. "Is this because you and Adam are all…basically married?"

"No," I shake my head. "It's because you look miserable, and it sounds like she's miserable, and it makes no sense for you to be apart when you could be together."

"That's deep. Did my dad teach you that?" Zander glances around the coffee shop, then pulls out his phone and taps at the screen with frightening speed. "Hold on, I'm ordering my coffee from their app. The line is getting too long to wait in."

"No, grandpa didn't tell me that. But he's supposed to come by this week," I look at the line forming, and Zander is right. It weaves through the tables, around by the wall, and all the way to the entryway. "Four said…"

"I heard he came back in a winning mood." Zander taps his screen victoriously as his order goes through, and he looks up from the white glare. "Jason said he was convinced none of that would have happened if Adam had stayed in Dauntless."

"Yeah, he pretty much blamed Adam and me. He said we disobeyed orders to stay put." I wince at the memory, still fresh in my mind. "Adam is really upset."

"He should be. What a dick," Zander scoffs. "Out of everyone in the faction, Four should know all about Marcus playing games. The dude treated him like shit."

"What?" I stare at Zander in total confusion. "Marcus did? How do you know this?"

"How do you _not_ know this? It's why he came here. At least that's what Karl told me. He said Jason told him. Guess Four had a violent upbringing and he escaped when he chose Dauntless. Still not an excuse to be a hard ass to Adam. He would occasionally grill me over how Adam was doing and I told him he could check the rankings along with everyone else. Adam did just fine. He's a smart guy. Zero need to have someone breathing down his neck, so I totally get why he'd want nothing to do with his dad."

"Does Adam know?" I look up as the man with enough metal to build a suspension bridge arrives to drop off Zander's drink. He's made it suspiciously quick, and I wonder if the app works or if Zander comes here enough that they know his order. "Any of that?"

"Nah, I doubt it. Four doesn't tell anyone anything, but don't take my word for it. I only know him from the times I've been around him. He trained me to be a trainer. We didn't talk anything about his homelife. Only that he liked the initiates trained a certain way, and Eric liked them trained another and Four hated that Eric got his way. Oh, and that Eric trained your mom. Four said that was bullshit."

I snort, because I'm sure a few others thought that as well.

"Hopefully he'll ease up. Before they never speak to each other again." I think out loud, hoping I'm right. "I might try and go find Kat today. See if I can fix things with her before I try and fix things with Four."

Across from me, Zander smiles.

"That sounds like a plan your dad would come up with. You gonna strong arm them into agreeing with you?"

"Maybe." I pretend to think this over, but Zander does have a point. I could always get my father involved if I had to, and he could get them to agree by any means necessary.

But for now, I'll do it myself.

"Nah, you know what? I can handle it. I'm pretty persuasive," I smile at Zander, happy to see him, and even happier to know he's alive. "You want to come over for dinner? I have a new apartment. You could come over and see it and I'll make you something to eat."

It's just what he needs.

Zander's face brightens considerably. He nods, and we spend the next half hour listening to the moms of Dauntless pester my metal friend on how to get their precious offspring into Charlotte's class.

* * *

The next few days are a whole lot of nothing.

I agonize over telling Adam what Zander told me, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. It feels like a sneaky attack, like trying to sway Adam into thinking Four is just dealing with this the best way he can, when I know he won't accept that. Being blamed for his father and Rylan being lost in the woods was one thing but being told we'd wasted soldier's time and caused all this was another. Hearing that his father didn't have the best upbringing won't change any of that.

So, I keep quiet. I wait to turn around and find Adam grinning in a way that will tell me everything is okay, or at the very least hear that his father had tried to come talk to him.

He doesn't. I'm met with a lot of sullen, miserable stares and a few heartbreaking sighs. Even our movie nights do little to soothe the hurt of being blamed over Marcus, and he's consumed by the fact that his father thinks this is his fault.

By Thursday, I've had enough.

I can't bring myself to watch Adam be hurt over his father's theory that none of this would have happened if he hadn't left Dauntless, and I can't bring myself to sit around and do nothing. It wouldn't be impossible for Four to eventually come to this realization himself, but I don't have time to wait around. At the rate things were going, years would pass before Adam and his father ever spoke again.

Still, there was a nagging doubt that I should even get involved.

Four had made it clear he didn't like any of this, and that included me. Whatever his reasoning may be, he might refuse to speak to me. He might tell me to go away, preferring to keep up this feud for his own personal reasons.

It would be worth the risk if I could convince him otherwise.

I'd made a promise I wouldn't let anyone hurt Adam, and that included the very person blaming him for what happened with Marcus.

Unfortunately for me, I don't get very far.

I step off the elevator the second it opens. It reveals a large floor with offices, some used more than others, all varying sizes. Some are neat and organized, some are messy, and some –like my grandfather's –had been left exactly the way they were. Full of books and maps, and all kinds of oddities that meant something.

My hopes of heading right to Four's office are dashed when I run into my mother. She's leaving my father's office, and her eyes widen when she sees me.

I just can't tell if she's happy or trying to prevent me from actually making it to Four's office.

Either way, it's nice to see her, even when she drags me into her own office and slams the door shut.

* * *

"He's just…I don't know, taking this to a whole other level."

My mother sighs into her ice cream, taking a bite of the heaping bowl Quinten had served us. We were sitting in his kitchen, warm and busy and completely crammed with people preparing lunch. There's a mild tenseness in the air if only because they have so many people to serve, but otherwise, everyone is pretty cheerful.

"Tris said she thinks knowing Marcus went after Adam triggered something in Four. He's struggling with what happened in his own childhood, and as a result, he can't separate himself from Adam," my mother takes a bite, then swallows quickly. "She thinks he'll realize what he's doing once things settle down. He came back to a million messages and everyone wanting to know what happened. Plus, Rylan telling that story about what happened to him? I'm sure that didn't help."

"So that means he gets to take it out on Adam and me?" I stare at her while people rush past us, heaving large boxes of lettuce around as they prepare to make salad. "Because I was sitting there when he blamed me and I didn't do anything."

"No, you didn't. Your father almost killed him for even suggesting you did."

I smile at her answer, because I knew my father firmly believed I could never do anything wrong. Except in this case, I really hadn't.

"Adam is pretty upset," I confess, figuring there was no better time or person to talk to than my mother. "He's really angry that Four is blaming him. He doesn't get why he wouldn't just be happy he's not dead."

"Well," my mother stalls, nodding a hello as Quinten drops off more ice cream, then loudly instructs someone to find the tomatoes. "Four's not wrong. Adam being in Amity did lead Marcus right to you both, but that's hardly what anyone should be focusing on. You being alive is much more important than a few soldiers walking through Amity a couple times, or Harrison being asked to report who was actually in his faction. Four is deflecting dealing with how he feels about his father by looking at logistics. Soldiers will always patrol, and someone will always be pissed off ready to attack. We all told him this."

"Did Dad talk to him?" I move my feet out of the way when TJ strolls by, balancing multiple crates on his shoulder. It's an impressive feat, and they all bear a bright label reading Amity Farms on them. "I thought he was going to punch him."

"They did talk. They had breakfast this morning. Your father is pretty unwilling to let him dwell on this for very long. It's been forever since Four saw his father, and there's really no reason for him to be blaming Adam for his return. If anything, he should be happy neither of you were hurt and leave it at that."

"Yeah, but he hates everything about the situation, especially me. Did you forget he said I was trouble?" I ask, and I'm suddenly paralyzed when I realize that not only did no one forget that, but the very person who said it is standing a few feet away from me.

He looks better than before, but his expression is pained.

"Yeah, I heard that. I was pissed off since he's known you since you were…" my mother stops speaking when she looks up from her mountain of chocolate ice cream to find Four standing there. "…born."

"I don't hate you, Eva."

His appearance is jarring. Four speaks quietly, but he's jostled out of the way by Quinten, side eyeing him so intensely that Four immediately steps to the side. TJ is next. He stops in front of Four, slamming down the large crates of vegetables at his feet to create a barrier. There is a silent standoff, TJ and Quinten well aware of what happened, and it's obvious they've picked a side.

Which means Four is effectively trapped; Quinten is behind him, TJ is to the side of him, and my mother and I are behind a wall of cucumbers, sitting atop Quinten's pristine silver counters.

"I shouldn't have said that…"

He tries again; I give him credit for not stalking off, because the rest of the kitchen staff greets him testily. They move past him ignoring the fact that as a leader, they should show some respect. But they've realized my mother is mad at him, and they like her better.

Probably because she was down here frequently to grab dessert.

"I don't…how can I even begin to explain…"

Four grows frustrated when he gets nowhere. His train of thought is as jumbled as the salad TJ is putting together, and he gets nowhere when he tries to go past TJ.

"Okay, I need to talk to Everly and Eva. Can you please let me by?" He finally snaps, his expression darkening when no one moves. They turn to look at us, waiting until my mother nods her head at Quinten. It's then, and only then, that he and his son step aside so Four can talk to us.

I have to admit, I'm sort of dreading it. I'd always liked Four, but he hadn't been very fond of me these past few months.

It didn't look like he was very fond of me right now.

"I thought you said I was trouble. That Adam and I were trained soldiers and we should have known better," I remind Four the second he's in front of us, and were he anyone else, I'd probably be in trouble for speaking so rudely. But my words are his own, and he knows this.

He listens to them, and his face tightens.

"If you knew anything about why I wanted to keep Adam away from Marcus, you'd understand," Four looks right at me, and my mother crosses her arms over her chest and sits up straighter. Her posture is defensive, but Four knows she'll leap off the counter if this doesn't go well. "That doesn't excuse what I said, because I certainly don't think you're trouble. It's just… Marcus is…"

He swallows thickly, and I think of Meghan's story and what she told me.

It's all over Four's face.

Whatever had happened that made him leave Abnegation, whatever had happened to make him not tell Adam about Marcus, whatever had happened that made him hellbent on raising an obedient son, is right there. Hidden beneath years of suppressing it, doing his best to move on and not let it affect him.

But it hadn't.

Marcus returning had brought all that back up, and it was uncomfortable to deal with.

Even worse was that it was starting to crack whatever relationship he and Adam had. While strained at best, it had been something. Adam only wanted his own life, and it could include Four, but only if this could be fixed.

"Marcus was not someone to mess around with. He was violent. He was cruel. Angry. Abusive, because he could be and no one would believe it. I spent half my life feeling like I'd been left behind to fight for my own survival, and the second half trying to forget that feeling. I only wanted Adam to grow up knowing different. Knowing how lucky he was. I messed that up by looking for everything he was doing wrong."

"Why?" I lean back as Four heads closer to me, glancing at my mom, then me. "Why were you so worried he'd mess everything up?"

Four shrugs, but not indifferently. Heavily, and I know he's been thinking about this. "I guess, it felt familiar to feel angry. I knew what he was doing wasn't of some malicious intent, but it felt like an insult to me. When I heard he left, I took it personally. Like he did it just to spite me."

"Only you would think him going to see Eva was an attack against you," my mother interjects, and her stare is unhappy. "He went to see her because he loves her. I think that's pretty obvious."

Four is silent long enough that I start to think he's going to walk away.

"I'm…very aware of how he feels about her. Eric made that perfectly clear this morning," Four pauses, like the next words are hard to say. "I realize I have been holding on to some… issues that are my own to deal with. And if I don't deal with them, then I lose not only Adam, but Eva. I lose the family I have here. Even….even Rylan. I got an earful from him this morning, too."

"Yeah, well you sort of killed his welcome back party," my mother points out, and she sets her bowl of ice cream down. "So what are you going to do now? How will you ever make it right with Rylan?"

"He's the least of my worries. I told him he could pick out my next haircut and he seemed fine with that," Four jokes, but it's weak. "I'm going to go find Adam and talk with him. I'm hoping once I explain some things that I should have told him, he'll understand. None of what I said was right, and I fully acknowledge that. I'm just not sure if he'll talk to me."

"He will, but he's really upset that you blamed him." I answer without thinking, or even knowing if this was true. Adam might not want to talk to him, and even if he did, he might refuse on principle alone. "He's at home. I'm sure he'll talk to you."

Four nods, shrugging slightly at the mention that I know where Adam is, and that place is our shared apartment.

"I know. I've been living that mistake over and over since it happened. I guess… I wanted to talk with you first. I heard you two live together now. I was probably more surprised than anyone to find out your father arranged that." Four looks at me, and this time, it's completely different. Gone is the pained expression heavy with disapproval and annoyance, and in its place is the start of acceptance and the hope that I'll forgive him. "I think…if he was going to end up with anyone in Dauntless, you would be the person he would be happiest with."

It's not exactly an apology for saying I was trouble, but it's a start.

"And you're just discovering this now?" My mother's answer is dry, and she crosses her arms. "How did you know we were down here?"

"Eric told me. I told him I needed to talk to Eva because what I said wasn't right."

He looks over at my mom, still not entirely convinced of his change of heart, but she smiles tightly. "Good. You should talk to Eva. And shockingly, Eric did approve of them living together. Plus, it frees up a space sooner rather than later. And we know where they both are at all times."

"Adam was so sure that you weren't safe without him." Four keeps talking, and he's suddenly right in front of me. I look up to see his dark, rumpled shirt, and the funny look on his face. It's very familiar, and I flash back to Zander having the same air of desperation to him. "He was so determined to go find you. He said you were by yourself and…he…"

Four stops talking, and he reaches for me.

For a second, I'm not sure what he's doing. The act is unusual and odd for both of us; Four wasn't overly affectionate to anyone, and after everything, I was the last person he'd want to hug.

But he does.

When he's sure that I'm not going to shove him away, he grasps onto me the same way both my grandparents had; tightly, like he's afraid I'll disappear.

I stay perfectly still. All around us, the kitchen stays busy. The workers continue their prep, going back and forth, calling out to each other, and chopping things left and right. My mother answers someone about what's going on, but her voice sounds far away, drowned out by the sound of Four exhaling with the exact same heaviness Adam did, mumbling an oh so quiet _I'm so sorry, Eva_ and the thudding of a box Quinten is throwing out.

Four doesn't move. One of his hands is stuck in my hair in the most awkward way, and the other is grasping onto the fabric of my jacket. He breathes unevenly, every so often sucking in a shaky breath like he's waiting for me to push him away, and not saying a word.

I let him hold onto me.

After everything that's happened –him being upset over Adam leaving, the blame and anger when he came back, dealing with his past and the resurgence of his father, down to the very minute he'd realized if things didn't change he'd lose his son – I know he needs this.

I guess I do, too.

I had made a silent promise to fix anything and everything I could, and this is the first step.

I nod against Four's chest; it's a silent acceptance of what he's offering, and the silent promise to let it all go. I know he understands when his grip tightens and he doesn't let go.

I just hope Adam is as willing to forgive Four as I was.


	31. Chapter 31

Thank you SO MUCH to Bamberlee for editing this chapter!

Just a note: I will be out of town all next week for my kid's spring break, so I am not entirely sure when the next update will be. If I can't get to it on Friday, I will update as soon as I am home. Fingers crossed it'll be Friday, but I'm never sure how long we're actually staying on vacation for.

Have a great weekend everyone!

* * *

Forgiveness does not come so easily to Adam.

"Traitor."

He mutters the word from our bed, dressed in nothing but the boxers he'd been lounging around in and looks at me with a stare full of contempt. He's a pleasant sight against the bright bedding, but his scowl is firmly fixed in place. "I thought you said it was you and me. Now you're team Four."

I stare back at him, reclined against the white pillows, spitefully calling his father by some ancient moniker he'd been given. Adam's hair hangs in his eyes, freshly washed and uncombed, and his posture is relaxed, even with the snark. I know he's not entirely mad; he'd listened to me explain how I saw his dad and what he'd said, all with casual interest. He was passive while I explained what happened, but not uninterested in what I was saying.

Until I told him his father apologized.

"I think there's more to his life before Dauntless than we know." I take a single step toward the bed, and I tilt my head at him. "And I'm not…Team Four. Who in their right mind would be Team Four? He tried to get a curfew enforced for anyone under the age of seventeen."

"Yes, but he _apologized_," Adam mocks, and for several seconds, our standoff continues while he draws an imaginary line so I choose a side. Him, or his father and the seemingly unworthy apology. "And now he wants to talk to me? He's going to tell me that…oh, he had a tragic childhood so that explains why he was on my ass for every mistake I ever made? And because of that, I should let it slide when he said I was to blame for Marcus attacking?"

"Um, yes," I answer him brightly, and the tension is gone. Adam smirks in victory as I step forward, but he shakes his head no at the thought of accepting what his father had to say. "Does this mean you're not going to forgive him?"

"No, I'm not. Why should I? Just because he's suddenly realized that no one likes his attitude?" Adam's defiance would be charming, because I agree with him, but I have the odd feeling Four is more worried about losing Adam than Adam knows. "He can come talk to me, but there's no guarantee it'll make anything better."

"Maybe it won't. Maybe it'll make things worse," I agree. I shrug off the jacket I have on, and I glance around the room while he waits for me to decide what I'm doing.

When I first saw this bedroom, I had been impressed. Everything was pretty and new, clearly picked out by my mother and less by my father, all with good intent. The idea of Adam living with me was impressive, too. Not because it was crazy or insane to think we'd want to live together, but because it very clearly suggested he'd won over my dad.

A nearly impossible feat, considering my father is quick to assume the worst of everyone.

I toss the jacket onto our dresser, and I look back at him.

"Maybe you'll be even angrier after you talk to him."

"I will. Four times as angry," Adam declares with a hint of dark amusement, and his eyes stay on me. "What are you going to do now?"

"Oh, I thought maybe I'd go find your dad and see if he wanted to hang out." I smile widely, and Adam's smirk turns into a snicker. "Maybe hear a few tales from his childhood. Have some snacks."

"He doesn't eat snacks. Why eat a snack when you can just eat dinner?" Adam answers dryly, and he extends his hand out to me. I'm nowhere near him, but he waits patiently until I'm at his side of the bed. "Did you get that…shot?"

"No, not yet." His fingers slide between mine, and he pulls me forward. "I haven't had a chance to go back down there."

"I see." There's flash of disappointment on his face, but it goes away quickly. "Eva…I don't want…"

"Me either."

I don't make him finish his sentence, because I know what he's getting at. We've been on our own for all of a few months, and in this apartment for less than two weeks. Having a baby isn't something either of us wants. Not right now. I want to spend my nights enjoying being with him, not listening to a baby scream for our attention or waking up every few hours and never being able to sleep in again.

"I'll go tomorrow. I'm sure Arlene will be happy to see me." I find myself on the bed, kneeling next to him. A second later, I'm kneeling over him, then sitting on his lap. He looks happier than he was seconds ago; his eyes are bright, less distraught over his father's return and their shitty fall out, and darker as he moves to touch my hair.

"I'll go with you," he offers lowly, and I suddenly wonder what would have happened had we not left Amity. I don't know where the thought comes from, but there it is, unwilling to go away. Maybe it's the white pillows or the fact that his hair is wet and we're alone again. Maybe it's him, looking relaxed and happy that it's just him and me, or the warm feeling of his fingers skimming over the edge of my ear.

Whatever it may be, I have the sudden urge to return to my grandpa's house with Adam, escaping back into a warm bedroom secluded from the rest of the world, and not leave.

* * *

This time, Arlene is snappy.

There's a weariness to her that's now constant, and for one horrifying second, I'm certain she's going to die in front of me.

"Will you stop looking at me like that? I'm fine." Arlene glares at me, working fast to scribble on my chart without actually looking at me to see that I'm looking at her. "I'm not dying. I'm supposed to be retired. Actually, I _am_ retired. I stepped down years ago, but I keep getting pulled back in to help out."

"Are you short staffed?" I swing my feet back and forth, patiently waiting for her to stab my arm and call it a day. "Maybe my dad can help."

That gets her to look up.

"Now that would be funny. Eric Coulter, head leader moonlighting as head receptionist of the infirmary." She stops to snort, but then resumes ranting. "I am short staffed, but it's my own doing. I like things done a certain way, and despite rigorous training, these newbies are trying to cut corners. As a result, they had to redo procedures, and I refused to help. Ever since then, they've gotten behind, I'm here trying to clean up the mess. Also, half the staff is out with some cold everyone is panicking over. If the idiots would just wash their hands, they'd be fine."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, there's no one I'd rather get this shot from than you." I smile brightly, but it doesn't make her mood any better.

"Wonderful." Arlene picks up the syringe, larger and much sharper looking than I remember, and her posture changes. "How is Adam, by the way. Did he talk to anyone?"

I look up at her, knowing she'll be able to tell if I'm lying, so I shake my head no. "He's alright. His dad is back and…they're going to talk at some point. It's just a matter of when Four calls him."

"I see," Arlene shoves her glasses up higher, and gestures for me to roll up my sleeve. "I saw Four the night he returned. He wasn't doing so great, but then again, he did spend two weeks in Amity with Rylan."

"It sounded like they had fun," I shrug, stopping myself from laughing. Rylan's recap of their adventure was told in the most Rylan way possible. If he had more time, I bet he would have illustrated it, or tried to make a Claymation movie to show us. "I talked to Four the other day. He was furious when he came back, but I think things will be better now. Especially once he explains everything to Adam."

Arlene wipes my arm with something that smells like rubbing alcohol. A second later, there's a sharp stab and then it's over. She wipes away a single speck of blood, reminds me to come back in three months and slaps a band aid over it.

She then steps away from me, and her stare is intense.

"You and your mother are far too optimistic for your own good. Four is Four. Hell will freeze over before he admits he's wrong. I hope they talk, but I doubt it'll go anywhere." She pauses, like she wants to say more, but her death must be imminent, or another patient is waiting, because she shrugs. "Either way, I'll see you in a few months."

Her declaration hangs between us as she waits for me to agree. When I don't, she leaves me sitting there while she heads out to tend to the next patient, someone screaming bloody murder a room away.

For once, I hope she's wrong.

Actually, I know she's wrong.

Four had apologized to me once, then twice, then a third and fourth time, over and over until he was unable to get any other words out. They were all mixed up; apologies meant for both Adam and me, until I knew he had nothing left in him. I hugged him back, hoping he understood that my forgiveness wasn't conditional. I didn't need him to rehash or relive what went wrong, and I didn't need him to agonize over this any more than Adam and I already had.

I just needed him to move on, and hopefully, with any luck, Adam would, too.

* * *

The ninth time my phone beeps, I glare at it.

Since being back in Dauntless, I felt like I was in a world of constant updates. There was no way to unsubscribe from any of them, either. Some were from my father, telling me he was glad I talked to Four, but he fully supported me if I refused to hang out with him. Some were from my mother, reminding me Carol would do my laundry so I didn't have to, and also reminding me she was cutting back her work schedule if I wanted to get lunch.

Some were from Arlene, in all caps, reminding me to get my ass down to the infirmary in three months, but also following up to see how I was feeling.

There were others.

Jason, checking in on how Adam and I were doing, and also keeping us updated on how Meghan was feeling. Neither of us minded those updates; Adam was understandably invested in Jason having a baby. Their bond went deeper than I knew, and I was sort of impatient to see their baby myself.

Karl's family updates were amusing, until I realized he was trapped at home with his twins while Charlotte finished out her last few days at work. They started out entertaining –Ethan and Evan wearing miniature uniforms and barking orders at him all day long –then quickly descended into full chaos. There was a photo of my father sitting with them, snickering as they destroyed Karl's apartment second by second, and Karl's expression changing from proud father to mildly panicked father as he realized he would soon have four children, not just two.

Rylan's updates were frequent and incessant. I knew he'd had a cereal that was mostly marshmallows for breakfast every day since being back, and I knew he loathed the fact that the toast was being rationed. I got an invite and a play by play recap of his haircut –did I want to go, did I need a haircut, was I allowed to get a haircut, had I ever had a haircut, then- why was this lady washing his hair so violently, he washes his hair all the time and she's acting like he doesn't, why is she parting it so weird, oh fuck, was she cutting it like Four's, he said a half inch not six inches, shit now he's bald, Christina is going to leave him, why am I not replying, can he come over and show me, did I have a wig or a top hat he could borrow, actually did Adam's dad have a top hat he could borrow because he swore he saw Four in full costume the other day and oh fuck part two, did he miss the try outs for a play he didn't know we were having –until Adam took the phone and told Rylan I was sleeping, but he was more than welcome to come by tomorrow.

And that neither of us had any hats.

I read all of these and more from the safety of my apartment, happily lying in bed with Adam. I scrolled through the photos, now brighter and sharper thanks to an update from Erudite, and I even liked a few by holding down on them until the little icons popped up. I disliked the one my father sent, a picture of the trucks parked haphazardly, and I knew he was about to go rip apart whoever had parked them. I liked the one from my mom, a pretty dress she was buying to bribe me to get Adam to talk to his dad, and I even liked the one Tris sent me.

That one was a little desperate.

I felt for her, the carefully typed words arranged to ask if Adam was willing to speak to his dad, and then a photo of some flowers she'd bought with my mother. There was no correlation between the two texts, only that she must have thought I'd like the flowers, and she was hoping I'd nudge Adam into going to see his dad.

He wouldn't.

Not even if Dauntless caught fire.

Despite Adam's generous decree that his father could come talk to him, he was waiting for him to make the first move. It was a powerful stance to take, one showing he was willing to talk to his father, but it had to be on his terms.

At least it was something.

Except Four still hadn't called.

I hadn't seen him since he apologized, though I wasn't actively looking for him. I'd spent a few days pursuing job listings, trying to figure out what I wanted to do here before my reprieve was up, and waiting for my shot to kick in. Adam and I didn't have to have sex to be close, nor was he only aware of how I felt if we were physical, and it was nice to just fall asleep next to him without worrying what could possibly happen.

I also learned there were lots of other things we could do besides having sex, and I wasn't going to ruin any of them by bringing up his father.

Even now, as I lie with my head on his stomach while he flips through a long list of movies Jason had updated, I wonder if he will talk to him. I thought his dad would find him right away; he and I had parted ways in the kitchen after he let go of me, and I assumed he'd call Adam that night.

He hadn't.

He'd kept his distance, retreating into his office and throwing himself into work.

I understood.

Work was a distraction; I heard a few whispers delightedly announcing Blythe was now being investigated. Word had gotten out that she'd rightfully panicked when Jeremy did not return, and as a result, she shut down her office and vanished. Calls went unreturned. Her assistant didn't know where she was. No one had seen her in a week. Not long after, a formal investigation was launched, then pushed to the top of our security list. It started with Jack, wanting to right the whole Jeremy situation. Once he dug a little deeper, Blythe's involvement became hard to deny. His working relationship with her was long forgotten once he felt compelled to bring this discovery to the leaders' desks.

It was decided that not only was she guilty, she was really guilty. She was the final threat to everyone's peace, so a direct order went out asking she be brought to trial for her involvement in my attack. There wasn't much honor or vindication in it for me. I was told I'd possibly need to prepare a statement about what happened, and Four, my father, Jason, Rylan, and my grandpa would all be called to Candor as witnesses as well. Mild horror rose up when I imagined not only reliving meeting Blythe and Jeremy and seeing her again, but what they would all reveal. Rylan let it slip that he had a lot on Blythe, and so did Jason. Even Four was involved, having met her a few times and having been on the receiving end of her extreme hatred.

Which meant he, too, had to prepare a formal statement, as well as confirm whatever Rylan and Jason were going to talk about. My father dryly informed me Four and Jason had both been assigned to attempt to corral Rylan's version from a sci-fi murder mystery to the actual details of what had happened, and it was taking up most of Four's time to separate fact from fiction.

Four threw himself into this task. It was better than overseeing the soldiers now looking for factionless and Blythe, and it kept him busy.

Which is why an entire week passes before he finally calls Adam.

* * *

Le Pardon.

I read the word a few times while I wait for Rylan.

All around me is chaos. Despite having a housekeeper, a wife who cleaned up after him daily, and the ability to come home and put his clothes away whenever he'd like, Rylan had returned to Dauntless with a new lease on life. After two weeks of nearly dying, he decided he wasn't going to waste any more time doing things he didn't want to do. Life is short, Eva, he'd crowed, toppling over a pile of shirts Christina had neatly folded and gesturing wildly as they fell all over his dining room table. Too short for chores. Too short for listening to one of the ancient, elderly, never retiring members of Dauntless lecture Rylan on how much electricity he was using by not turning the lights off in his office.

Too short to wear an actual uniform.

"Are you learning French?" I turn away from his new word of the day calendar. I miss the old one, with the lengthy complicated sounding words that he read each day. He liked to sneak them into his conversations, head tilted and a glint in his eye as everyone tried to figure out what he was saying. "Doesn't that mean…"

"Forgiveness, and yes, it does mean what you're thinking. It's fitting, seeing as how I was forced to forgive Four for insulting my mother while we were in Amity." Rylan appears beside me, and he reaches over to flip the calendar up a page. His shirt is striking. It's a neon green color that hurts my eyes, and his pants are an electric pink. His still long hair is held up by a yellow hair tie, and his shoes are green. The sight of him is shocking, but he doesn't care.

I don't care, either.

I'd come over to have lunch with him, and he could have worn whatever. I was just happy he was alive.

"Why did he insult your mom? Wait, are you really mad at that? Don't you and your mom not get along very well?" I ask carefully, watching him flip through the pages until he finds the one he likes. It's months away, but that doesn't matter. He tacks the page up with a grin.

"No, we do not get along. She doesn't appreciate my desire to lead a life less boring than hers. She's never even met Christina."

"Do you ever see her?" I steal a peek around his apartment, wondering if Christina was just biding her time until he'd been back long enough that it was acceptable to remind him he still had to pick up his stuff. "When you guys go to Erudite?"

"Never. She's old. Always telling me to cut my hair and get a better job. She doesn't even know what I do here." The smile doesn't leave Rylan's face, but it lessens for a split second. "I like Daniel much better. I claimed him as my stand in parent. I only need one. He's enough."

"Your mom doesn't know you're a leader here?"

Over the past week, I had become a little curious about the jobs available here. Adam and I had yet to choose anything definite, because my research led to some disappointing results. I read the list a few times, and to my dismay, most of the open jobs were positions no one wanted or hadn't picked. I refused to trudge through some outpost or slog through the banks of water where the factionless hung out, and I refused to spend my days on a rotating shift that kept me out of the faction for weeks. My only options left were dismal positions no one wanted, or to go see my father and sweetly ask for him to find something for us to do that wasn't awful.

That felt a little desperate.

But I had no clue what I wanted to do.

Because we'd been gone, those ranking after us were given the first chance to pick their position. Gunner and Aja had told Adam they'd taken jobs with Karl, happily sliding into two of the much sought after spots on one of his elite squads. They were lucky, and they knew it. I tried to find something that came close to working with Karl, but there was nothing. Adam had shaken his head at almost everything else, and the two of us dejectedly gave up when neither wanted to work in the control room or take the overnight shift at the security post.

At the rate things were going, I would be going to see my father.

Not just to help me, either.

"I've told her a million times. She doesn't believe me because I failed PE once." Rylan narrows his eyes, shivering at the memory. "I just didn't want to play with the fucking parachute thing. I told the coach it was stupid, and the guy failed me. Said I was mouthy and didn't listen. I never heard the end of it. I was six, by the way."

"I'm sure she'd be proud of you if she knew…" I start, but Rylan shakes his head.

"Some people are just miserable, Eva. Don't worry about it. I told you. I claimed Daniel. Eric doesn't like him half the time, so I got first dibs. More than dibs. Daniel likes me better, anyway. You can have Camille."

I laugh, but I know he's joking.

Mostly.

"Are you ready? Do you want to invite Christina?" I look past him, wondering if she's here.

"Nah, she's at work. It's just you and me, and I swear if Four interrupts this lunch, I will kill him with my bare hands, a butter knife, and his own dismal sense of self-worth." Rylan's face darkens for a split second, then his grin is firmly in place. "You lead the way, Coulter Three."

I let out a burst of laughter, not just at the name, but at the page he's flipped the calendar to.

On the newest pages, printed in the blackest of ink, is the word Monstre du Loch Ness and my grandfather's phone number.

* * *

"Are you glad I'm back?"

Rylan looks over his giant hamburger, patiently waiting for me to answer. I immediately nod my head, knowing it wasn't his fragile self-esteem asking, but his burning curiosity over if I would have replaced him as my number one godfather.

"I am. I was really worried something had happened to you and all I'd have left is that giant portrait. Thank you, by the way." I take a bite of my salad, chewing down an overly drenched piece of chicken, and I swallow when Lucy slides by our table to make sure we are fine. "I bet Arlene is glad you're back, too."

He snickers in pure delight.

"Yeah, I got an earful. Four and I both had to go get checked out by her to be considered fit for duty. She tried to shove antibiotics at your boy."

I pause with my salad fork in midair. "Are you taking them? Don't you need them?"

Rylan pretends to consider what I'm saying. He shrugs, then looks up at the ceiling briefly. "Are you saying Eden's treatments really don't work?"

"I didn't say that," I stare back at him, hoping against all odds he was taking something other than dandelion root for his stab wound. "But I think it would be smart if you take them. Wouldn't your uh, substitute father agree?"

"Yes, I would."

I look up in total surprise, and I should have caught the look on Rylan's face. He had gone from looking at the ceiling to waving at someone, and I had assumed it was Lucy.

But it wasn't.

It was my grandpa, dressed up a little too formally to be sliding into the booth next to Rylan. He hugs him, really hugs him –like a father would– side eyes his outfit, then smiles at me.

"I'll hug you in a minute. I want to make sure that Rylan isn't in danger of losing a limb."

"I'm fine. I'm fine." Rylan waves a french fry in the air, narrowly missing my grandpa's face. "And yes, I am taking antibiotics. I like to live on the edge, but I'm not stupid. I'd like to keep my arm, at least for now."

"How on Earth did you get stabbed?" My grandfather's concern is evident, and he squints at Rylan trying to see if the wound is visible. It is. It's just beneath the edge of his neon colored sleeve, still raw and dark. "I just left Eric's office. He was filling me in on what happened. I can't believe you were lost in the woods for two weeks."

"That's a rough estimate. In my mind, it felt like months," Rylan points out, winking at me. "I got stabbed by one of the factionless. It happened so quick I didn't even notice until Four pointed it out. Felt like a scratch. Four cried more than I did."

"A scratch," my grandpa repeats, his voice heavy with disbelief. "Well, if you'd like me to take a look at it, I can. I can have Arlene pull up your chart and…"

"No need! I'm already halfway recovered!" Rylan exclaims, and he waves at someone else. "Oh good, Eric is here. Oh, and Jason. Oh, and…" His face darkens, and he scowls. "Of course. What lunch would be complete without Four?"

He leans back, practically hissing Four's name, but his disdain is completely made up. While he glares at Four from beneath a stray strand of his hair, he makes no move to leap for his throat.

"Should I move so you can kill him with your bare hands?" I move the butter knife away from him, then pretend I'm about to climb out of the booth, and Rylan shakes his head furiously.

"Later," he whispers. "He's very…fragile right now. I'll give him some time."

"Fragile?" I repeat, but I don't get an answer.

My father and his friends arrive, and it's not just Jason and Four with him, but Karl and Ethan and Evan.

"Oh good, you're all here. Even…the contagious ones." Rylan eyes Ethan and Evan warily, then welcomes them onto his lap without much of a fight. "Karl told me they both have the plague."

"I said they have colds," Karl retorts, and he somehow climbs over me to sit on the other side. He's close enough to Ethan and Evan that he can keep an eye on them, but they ignore him in favor of Rylan. Ethan takes Rylan's hair out of the ponytail, and Evan examines his arm, holding it up to look for the dark slice on his skin. "Not the plague. You weren't complaining the other night."

"They were happy to see me!" Rylan tries to fix his hair, but Ethan is faster. The hair tie is shot over to my father, who looks pretty smug as Rylan loses control to the two tiny dictators. "Here, go sit with Uncle Eric. He missed you."

"No, DANIEL!" Evan shrieks, realizing his millionth favorite person is here. He climbs over Rylan to my grandpa and reaches his arms out. "Hold me!"

"What are you all doing?" I glance around the table, watching grown men try to squeeze themselves into the seats. The booth wasn't meant for all of us, but Jason grabs a chair to sit on the end, and Four is left sitting beside me. "Who is in charge if you're all down here?"

"No one!" Jason answers, and he looks amused by the idea. "Or, I guess Eric's assistant is."

"I'm firing her," my father rubs his temple, looking over at me while Ethan makes himself at home on his lap. "In the spirit of Rylan, she deleted all my files and I can't figure out how to get them back."

"Lucky you," Rylan laughs, and he elbows Karl. "You off today?"

"Nah, I was in Eric's office. Charlotte is also sick, so I'm trying to let her sleep so she won't divorce me before she goes into labor. Everyone else just showed up."

"We were working. Then we heard Daniel was here. Then we heard you were at lunch with Rylan and we thought we might as well come join you…" Four looks at me out of the corner of his eye, and the change is drastic. There's no stare down or displeasing frown, only a friendly hopeful glance. "Or save you, since he said he might want to hit up the bar."

"Thank you. I think I've seen enough of Henry to last me a lifetime," I answer flatly, and it's the honest truth.

Since moving in next door to him, I'd seen him several times. Always when I didn't want to, and always when he was coming back from working out. He liked to wave hello way too enthusiastically, and he usually waited to see if Adam was with me.

I felt a small speck of sympathy for him when he realized Adam was almost always with me, but it was fleeting.

Henry suggested we exchange phone numbers in case of an emergency, and I responded by telling him I didn't have a phone.

"Are you enjoying living by him?" My dad looks a little too entertained, and it dawns on me that he knew exactly who I was moving next to. "Isn't he just a delightful little shit?"

"Did you make me live by him on purpose?" I glare at my dad, and he smiles back brightly. "He's super annoying."

"Oh, I know he is." My dad widens his eyes in mock innocence, and he laughs at the look on my face. "He was obsessed with your mother. Probably still is. He said he was going to grow up and take my job and my wife. Too bad dreams really don't come true."

"So, you had me move in next door?" I stare at my father's pleased expression, and I already know the answer. "That's petty, even for you. He did say he's working with Four. Why doesn't he work with you if he loves you so much?"

"Because I hate him."

Next to me, Four laughs.

Sort of.

He also chokes on the water he's drinking.

"You're really holding onto a grudge from when he insulted you…how long was it? Fifteen years ago? Sixteen?"

"Yes, I am." My father answers defiantly, and he glances over at Rylan, talking to Daniel about infection control. Rylan doesn't look like he believes him, even as Daniel explains how his stab wound might need to be looked at in another week. "How's he doing, anyway? I meant to ask you what he wants to do when he's done training. I got his timecard yesterday, along with a request for a week off."

I notice Four trying not to look at me, and I wonder what he's thinking. There's no way I'll ever know, but he squints at my dress curiously, then turns his attention back to my father.

"He wants your job," Four pauses, then he smiles. Widely. "And your wife."

"Well, he can go fuck himself."

I laugh into my own drink. Their banter feels downright normal, and there's a rush of relief to it. Despite Rylan's threat to kill Four, he isn't even paying any attention to him. He's currently ordering a second lunch, and insisting Karl do the same. My father and Four go back to talking about Henry, and even Jason reminds them that Henry once threw his boots at my father's head.

I listen carefully when my father admits it did happen. I would have given someone all my points to see a small child throwing their shoes at him, especially when Jason reminds my father that Henry's mother is still terrified of him to this day.

Things seem so much lighter, and so much better, I can't bring myself to ask Four what Adam said.

Turns out, I don't have to.

Over lunch, he finally leans closer to me, and very quietly tells me he's supposed to come by tonight.

* * *

"Should we make ravioli?"

I ask Adam this while he towers over me. He reaches for a bowl, and once he has it, he answers with zero enthusiasm.

"No."

"Salad?"

"No."

"A pizza?" I turn to face him, reaching for a second bowl and a glass, and he looks down at me like I've suggested we invite his father to live with us. "You don't want me to make anything?"

"Did your dad teach you to cook?" Adam's stare is firmly on me, and I know what he's doing. "Did he teach you how to make cookies? Or did he teach you…"

"Yes, he did teach me all that stuff and you know it." I forget about dinner, and I reach for him. My arms loop around his neck, an impressive feat considering he's much taller, and I work to pull him down close to me. "He taught me because my mother can't cook anything and he said I needed to know for when I live on my own. But I don't live on my own and I don't even know if you can cook."

"I can. Because I taught myself or my mother told me what to do." Adam answers defiantly, but his nose touches mine. "If we ever…"

He stops when my lips touch his, and it's not because I don't want to hear what he was about to say. My guess is he was going to say if we ever had kids, something very telling about our future, that he would even be thinking that far, is he would teach them how to cook. He would teach them all kinds of things, because I was learning he and his father had existed in very different worlds, and his home life was a pretty sharp contrast to my own.

Which meant tonight had to go well to start the process of fixing their relationship. They had to find some common ground, something, anything that would remind them they weren't enemies.

Unfortunately, the thought of his father coming over for dinner was starting to rattle him. Despite finishing initiation first, surviving an attempted murder, surviving near death temperatures and finding our way to safety, Adam was thrown off by a dinner.

He was suddenly irritable over every detail, unwilling to give his father an inch into his own life. While I tried to figure out what we should eat, Adam decided this was the perfect time to bring up every grievance he had about his father. Including the cooking.

It ended when he flat out refused to tell me what his father liked for dinner, declaring he liked nothing.

I sort of expected this.

I had gone to see Arlene this afternoon, my head hurting and my stomach woozy, and she told me it was nerves. She also told me Adam and Four had a lot of angry feelings they'd both suppressed, and they wouldn't vanish with a single conversation. She went on to say most importantly –it wasn't my job to save either of them. I could help. I could encourage them to talk and listen, but at the end of the night, it was up to them to decide how they felt toward one another and if they wanted to have any sort of father son relationship.

She then made me drink something and sent me on my way.

I'd returned home with the intent to figure out what to make for dinner, but Adam wasn't interested in that at all.

What he was interested in, was comparing his father to mine. Mine had come by an hour earlier to drop off some paperwork from Jason. He relayed Jason's instructions with minor annoyance; we could fill out the paperwork whenever, and my father didn't know what position it was for because Jason hadn't told him. I didn't tell him, either. I took it from him, holding a heavy folder in my hands bearing the Dauntless emblem, and my stomach turned over.

I knew my father was waiting for me to open it up and show him, but I shoved it onto the counter, smiled, and asked him if he brought dessert.

I hadn't shown it to Adam, either. I wasn't sure what he would think of the papers, but I knew part of his worry was that we hadn't found jobs yet. Ranking first and second should have given us the top choice of wherever we wanted to go. Since we'd been gone for the end of initiation, the best positions had been filled, but I could easily ask for ones to be created. Karl had sent numerous text messages telling me he'd be thrilled to have both of us work for him, and Jason even offered a few ideas, including working with him.

I didn't have a chance to tell Adam any of this. He came back from hanging out with Aja and Gunner and looked like he regretted telling his father he'd talk to him.

"Just let him tell you what he has to say. If it goes south, I'll break it up, okay?" I promise him this, standing on my tip toes, barefoot in our kitchen. My back hits the counter when he nods, and I have the feeling if he could, Adam would completely collapse into me.

Not because he was weak or afraid of his father, but because after years of pent up emotion, the thought of it all coming to a head was exhausting.

"What are you going to do? Jump between us?" He mumbles the words against my mouth and his fingers slip deeper into my hair.

His question makes me grin, but it's a good one.

Things could get heated, and for a moment, I consider calling in someone else for backup.

The best choice would be Jason, since he was firmly on Adam's side. The worst choice would be my father, or maybe Rylan, if he was still upset Four didn't have fun with him in Amity.

But really, the fewer people involved, the better.

"Yes."

I smile when his fingers sink to the nape of my neck, pinning me against the counter, and the two of us finally agree to make pizza for dinner.

* * *

Forty minutes later, I think I might actually throw up.

We haven't even eaten the pizza yet, nor has anyone done much of anything. The salad sits untouched, the pizza sits in the middle of the table, and the napkins are neatly folded and unmoved since I placed them there.

The apartment is so quiet we can hear the faint hum of electricity, and the groan of old, ancient pipes as water rushes through them. The silence is unnerving, oppressive and thick, because his father hasn't shown up.

"Maybe he's running late."

My suggestion is met with dead silence. Adam and I sit at the table together, the plates set and the glasses filled, and the tension is heavy. I meet his stare beside me, his dark hair somewhat combed and his expression somehow knowing and disappointed at the same time, and he shrugs away my curious glance.

"I guess he changed his mind."

His words are hollow, but the finality is completely understood when an hour passes, and his father doesn't show.

* * *

Clyde's is crowded.

I shove my way through soldier after soldier, black uniforms crammed together in celebration of…something, and I force my way through a group of men a good two feet taller than me. They look down in confusion, but they all part to the side so I can get through.

I must look crazy.

I'd run down here barefoot, in a dress that wasn't warm enough for this faction, and my hair had fallen out of the bun I'd put it up in. I'd called my father after Adam and I ate the dinner we'd made, just the two of us, and Adam announced he was going to get some air.

My father answered immediately, and it took all of ten seconds for him to know something was wrong.

Thirty seconds for him to declare he'd fix it.

A single minute for him to yell for my mother.

Three minutes to track down Four.

On the run down here, I'd called Adam over and over, trying to get him to answer. He never once picked up, though that could be for any reason. He could have left his phone at home, he could have it on silent, or he could be thinking Four had finally shown up and it was too late. Whatever the case may be, I kept trying until I reached the doors of Clyde's and it grew too loud to hear anything.

I went right in; further and further, past the large crowded tables, until I arrived at the bar. It was a place I'd never sat before and wouldn't normally go, but there he was, his shoulders bowed down and a dark drink in front of him.

He looks up when I take the seat next to him and the look on his face is something I haven't seen before.

A despondent flash of disbelief that I was here, and an equal dose of fear.

"You didn't show up."

My accusation is loud enough that the man behind the bar startles. He whips around to peer at me, and once recognition sinks in, he returns to polishing the glasses.

"Four." I lean closer to him, just like he'd leaned closer to me down in the kitchens, and he nods in acknowledgment.

It's not a very happy nod, and I realize he's not on his first drink, but his third. There are two empty glasses beside his current one, both tall and offering the promise of whatever escape he was seeking.

"Why didn't you come by when you said you would?" I demand, knowing he could easily tell me to get lost or stand up and leave. "Why didn't you come talk to Adam?"

He still doesn't answer me. I try to find some patience for him, along with a chance to explain what had gone wrong. I was so sure he'd be there. All he'd wanted was the opportunity to talk to Adam, and he finally had one.

But it was becoming clear this went deeper than his son not listening to him. Whatever deep, dark secret he was hiding was looming over him, entangling him in old memories of the trauma he'd survived. When Four had come back furious over the return of his father, his blame fell squarely to Adam and me. But now, it was all on him, and the way he shakes his head tells me he wasn't dealing with this well.

Or judging by the beers, at all.

"I made you pizza."

He turns at this; the words are so much more juvenile than I mean for them to be, but it's more than that. It wasn't just that I'd made the pizza, or that Adam had helped me. The meal was supposed to be an olive branch between them. Four would come to our apartment, and we'd have dinner ready. The give and take would soften the anger they both felt, putting them on even ground.

Except none of that happened.

"We waited for you," I try not to lose my balance on the bar stool without breaking his stare, and I sit in my moment of fleeting triumph. "Why didn't you come by?"

Four looks at me, really looks at me, and the noise of Clyde's roars even louder as someone salutes a group of soldiers arriving. He glances back at them, then at me, like he's skeptical of the sight before him.

"Four?"

"I don't know what to tell him." His answer is grievous, almost drowned out by the chant of a guy's name over and over until it reaches a peak level of loudness. "I thought about it all afternoon, and I don't even know where to start."

"Just…tell him what happened! Tell him why you were upset!" I have to talk louder than I'd like, and it only amplifies my fear of this never being fixed.

"It doesn't work like that."

"Okay, but you didn't even try." My frustration mirrors Four's, because I don't have all the answers for him, and I have a weird feeling we're running out of time. "I don't know what happened, but I do know it would have been better if you'd shown up."

"It's not that simple, Eva." Four answers testily, and our truce becomes temporary as his sharpness returns. "How do I even start to explain everything to someone who doesn't want to listen?"

"But he was ready to listen. He was waiting," I practically yell the words at him, and in the background, the squad competes by yelling even louder. "Why do you think he won't…"

I stop speaking when Four pushes the drink away from him, and his head tilts forward. His stare is on the half empty glass. His posture is laden with defeat, especially when he sighs heavily. "Why should he?"

"You think he won't forgive you, don't you?" This thought comes to me as I stare at him, because in this moment, he looks just like Adam did when Adam was so sure his father would blame him for the attack. "You really think he'd listen to what you have to say then tell you to go away?"

"It's exactly what he's going to do. I get it. I understand. For years, I questioned everything he did. Where he was going. Why he was going somewhere. How well he was doing. Who he was hanging out with. He has every reason to cut ties once he hears what he wants to hear, because telling him won't make it any different." Four shrugs dismissively. "I think…he's happy with you. He likes being with you. He's going to get you to leave here for good, isn't he? He just wants to be away from everything. I understand the feeling completely."

"What do you mean?" I nearly fall off my seat, and the noise in the bar drops considerably. "Where do you think we're going? And you really didn't come by because you think we're leaving? Or because you think he won't forgive you?"

Four's stare is slow to find mine, and it's unreadable.

"Should he? I accused my own son of causing Marcus to attack. I blamed him for my being stuck in Amity. I'm trained to survive, a hundred times over what an initiate is trained for. Instead of being thankful he was alive, I was furious he hadn't listened to me."

"So tell him that," I plead, and I lean as close to him as I dare. The man behind the counter stands a few feet away, doing his best not to listen. "Just…call him and tell him…"

"Tell him what? That the man who attacked him did the same thing to me? That my entire childhood was spent learning how to stay one step ahead of him? That I had to pretend it didn't bother me? How I learned to stay out of his way? Should I tell him how I promised myself I'd never feel so low again and yet here I am, feeling just like the minute Marcus called my name to come downstairs and tell everyone how great things were."

Four's stare is so dark it hurts, but it changes drastically. His jaw goes slack, and his eyes widen right as someone touches my back.

"Dad?"

This time, I do fall off the bar stool.

It tilts when I turn too fast, stunned to see Adam standing behind me. He stands out in the sea of dark, because his shirt is white. Almost too white, and it matches the paleness of his skin. He looks confused; his stare moves from his father back to me, and in his hand is his phone.

"Adam?"

"You kept…Eva, she kept calling and I answered but she wasn't there and I realized she was here…and then you started talking…"

Adam talks while he helps me catch my balance, and he steadies me against the cold metal I'd been sitting on. I can only assume I forgot to hang up, which meant he heard everything I've said and maybe some of what his father said, because his expression isn't very happy.

"Why didn't you tell me about him? Why?" Adam looks right at his father, but his fingers stay on my spine. "Why didn't you tell me he'd try to hurt me? Or that he'd want some sick revenge on you? I only went with him because I didn't know any better."

"I didn't want you to think…"

"Think what? Think less of you? Or that you were lying? Maybe if you'd told me _anything,_ instead of always thinking I was trying to pull shit behind your back, maybe things would have been different. Maybe Eva and I wouldn't have nearly died in the snow." Adam's words are as angry as they can get, and understandably so. They hang in the air, full of a pained agony he'd been stuck in, and an equal amount of frustration. "You should have told me."

He steps toward his father, and I'm trapped between them, just like in the imaginary scenario I'd thought about earlier.

Only this is much different. I hadn't quite expected this to happen in Clyde's, in between a man pouring a beer made by Forrest and a bunch of soldiers now clapping in delight as Karl arrives to announce Charlotte is officially in labor. He misses Four and Adam and me completely, because he's swarmed by his squad offering to walk him to the infirmary.

"No, you're right," Four answers, and my chest tightens when he turns to look directly at his son. "I should have told you what happened with him. I should have warned you he was out there, and if he ever found you, he'd use you against me."

"He said…he told me some things…" Adam starts, and his fingers find my arm. He holds onto me, his hand sliding down toward my wrist in an attempt to steady himself. "He told me that you left on bad terms. He told me he knew you'd be a terrible father…"

Four's flinch is hard to miss. He tries to play it off, but it's there, in his spine, crushing him as this plays out the way he was thinking it would.

"Adam…you have to understand-"

"I told him…I told him you weren't a terrible father. Annoying, yeah. In my business, way too much. But at the end of the day, you never did what he did. I mean, I didn't like you, and I still don't, but it's nothing compared to Marcus."

I crane my head up to look at Adam, and my expression must be pure shock. "You know?"

"I heard a lot about what happened. It's not that hard to find things out here. You know that." Adam's indifference is understood, because it was easy to find out things here. Almost too easy, even when you didn't want your secrets to get out.

"Adam," I lean closer to him, but he's not looking at me. He's looking at his father, and there's a tense minute when I expect one of them to leave.

"I thought for sure he would have killed you. Once Eric said it was Marcus, I figured he'd murder you both the second he could. The whole time we drove out there, I kept thinking, this…this is my fault. This is my fault and no matter when we get there, it'll be too late. And it was. We got to Amity and we didn't find either of you. But we knew he'd taken you somewhere. And Rylan, he kept saying you'd be fine. That you both were smart enough to get away, and if you could, you'd get back to Harrison and…"

He stops when it becomes too much. The words are heavy and hard to say, and he shuts his eyes as he relives every single second of thinking we were dead at the hands of his own father.

"I should have told you, and I didn't and I'm sorry."

It's the last thing I hear before I'm crushed between them. I don't know who reaches for who first; Adam might have been reaching for me or maybe his dad, but I think Four was reaching for both of us. I'm stuck between them, my head on Adam's chest and my arms around his waist, while his father holds on. The action is still awkward and stiff, but just like last time, I don't move. I let him hug me so he can hug his son, because I'm not so sure it would happen any other way.

"You don't know how many times I thought about what I was going to tell you. How…or when…." Four speaks lowly, and I'm sure it is downright impossible for him to say any of this. Maybe it was better this talk was taking place in Clyde's. The alcohol had to help, especially once Adam showed up. It might have been what Four needed to get this out, even the mumbled apology and the words that spilled out after it.

"Or how relieved I was to know you were alive…"

He's talking to Adam, but he's still holding onto me, too.

His grip is tight, clinging to both of us, until it suddenly becomes hard to breathe. It must happen for everyone, because Four lets go of us and he reels back, looking startled.

Unsure, but relieved, because the worst is over.

"Adam…"

"Okay," Adam steps back like he's on fire, and the moment of reconciliation dissolves into thin air. "It's not…I mean, it's not just better because you said you were sorry. You weren't even glad Eva and I were alive."

"I wasn't thinking," Four shakes his head. "I was still in shock Marcus found you. I was…I spent two weeks with Rylan. Doesn't that count for something?"

He does his best to make a weak joke, forcing himself to smile at his own attempt to lighten things up. It doesn't go over as well as he's hoping. Adam stares at him, and his fingers dig into my side as he moves to pull me along with him. "I guess…"

"I know this doesn't make anything better, but..." Four swallows thickly, and he stops to really think about his next words. He knows each one is important. There are only so many Adam will listen to before he decides he's over it all or that the apology isn't enough. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry. For everything. For not trusting you and not thinking you needed to know about Marcus. I'm proud of how you handled yourselves out there. Both of you."

I blink in surprise.

No one had said they were proud of us. They were glad we were alive, and happy we were back, but Four is the first one to say he's proud.

"Marcus was smart. Too smart. You were right to get away when you could." Four finishes speaking, and he waits for Adam to say something.

It takes a long time. Adam lets the words sink in before he finally nods.

"Yeah, but…I felt like you didn't really care that we were back. Like you only cared about the soldiers and the inconvenience of being stuck in another faction." Adam's tone changes. It loses the dark edge it previously held, and he sounds much less angry. "You kept saying…all the people patrolling and….never once did you say it was good Eva and I were alive."

"I know. I've thought about what I said every single night since I got back." Four reaches for something in his pocket, and he tosses his card onto the counter.

Behind it, the man lurking in the background has finished polishing his glasses. He takes the card, and the whole bar slowly comes back into focus. Karl and his men have left, presumably to walk down to find his wife, and the only ones left are a few stragglers, nursing left over mixed drinks while they talk amongst themselves.

Everything around us winds down, including this explosive discussion.

"Look, this is a lot for tonight. I understand if you're still mad, and I don't expect miracles to happen overnight. If or when you want, we can talk again. Eva, too."

Four offers this up, an opportunity to talk, on Adam's terms with me there. I hold my breath until Adam agrees, nodding slowly, pulling me right off the bar stool and over to him.

"Okay."

By the time the bartender is back with Four's tab, Adam and Four agree to meet in a few days. It's tentative at best, but it's something. Neither say much as we wait for Four to sign his receipt. I think Four might want to grasp onto Adam one more time, but he doesn't. He keeps a respectful distance and walks out with us. We part ways silently, but agreeably. Adam and I leave hand in hand; his grip is tight, fingers slid between mine, and he sticks close to me. He's quiet, lost in his thoughts as he processes what just happened, and I let him.

He stays like this while we ascend a set of stairs, toward the dimly lit hallway, and we pause once we reach the top. He looks down out of the corner of his eye, and I stop beneath the lone bulb lighting up this entire area.

"Thanks for calling me." Adam smiles, downplaying the emotional moment with his father entirely, but I know better.

Things might not be fixed. They certainly weren't great or amazing after their whirlwind talk, and it certainly didn't erase the years of feeling like nothing he did was right. But it was a start. It was a huge step in the right direction, and that was what mattered.

"You're welcome. Anytime," I smile back, pleased when he moves closer. He bends down to kiss my cheek, but he lingers there, smiling against me.

For one pulse pounding moment, I think he's going to ask me something important.

Really important.

I have the dizzied nervous feeling he's going to propose, right here, in a dark hallway where Jason swore a demon lurked in the corners. Go figure the only witness to such a special moment would be Arlene's long deceased cousin, pausing her haunting to see what we were doing.

"Eva," Adam pauses, and his voice is lighter than it has been. "Are you not wearing any shoes?"

I burst out laughing. After everything that's happened today -the cooking, the failed dinner, his fury and forced pretending his father not showing up didn't bother him, storming off, and eventually finding us in Clyde's and talking, his question and my forgotten shoes are the last thing I'm thinking of.

"You know what? No, I'm not. No wonder I'm freezing."

Adam snickers right along with me, and we resume walking. He laughs when we pass Gunner and Aja, cheerfully walking home from their shiny new jobs, and he laughs when we pass Karl, pacing the hallway after being banned from the room by Charlotte.

He holds my hand the entire walk home, tighter and closer than ever.

* * *

Around two in the morning, I hold a tiny baby against my chest.

She's pretty; her hair is the same color as Karl and Charlotte's, blonde and straight and messily combed to the side, and she's wrapped in a dark pink blanket.

Next to me, Adam holds her sister, wrapped in a lighter pink blanket.

They look identical. They're both sound asleep, dressed in tiny matching pink pajamas, and they make tiny snuffling noises whenever they move.

"What's her name?"

Adam yawns, looking over at Charlotte, who somehow has managed to look completely not exhausted despite giving birth to two babies a few hours ago. Karl had called us a few hours after we went to bed, and I answered because I knew if I didn't, they'd send Rylan down to come wake us up. We both willingly went to see them, and we were taken right back to where Charlotte was staying. I expected to find her half asleep, or up looking like a total mess, but instead we found her beaming as Karl sat on the bed with her, totally enthralled by their newest additions.

"You're holding Elyse. Eva is holding Ella. Or…wait, does Adam have Ella?"

"He has Elyse," Charlotte grins, and upon further inspection, she looks a little bit tired. But not tired enough considering she'd been throwing up for the past nine months. "Eva has Ella."

"Are you guys going to change your names to start with the letter E?" Adam asks curiously, and I have to stifle down the very tired laughter threatening to escape. "Ethan, Evan, Ella, Elyse. There are other letters to choose from, you know."

"When you and Eva have a baby, you can name your child whatever you want," Karl grins, unbothered as ever. "We picked them out the minute we found out we were having girls."

"Have Evan and Ethan met them yet?" I hold Ella a little closer, examining her intently. She was far smaller than I was imagining a newborn baby would be. She opens up her eyes for a split second, then blinks at the lights and immediately closes them. She isn't at all fussy, only annoyed that she's being held away from her mother.

"Not yet," Charlotte leans back, and she pulls her feet up gingerly. She's not even wearing the hospital gown I'd seen a few others wearing. She has pretty pajamas on, and her hair is piled up on top of her head. "We figured we'd let them sleep through the night and come meet their sisters tomorrow. They're with your mom and dad. They wanted to stay with them."

"I bet they're having a blast," I walk back over to the bed, and Karl stands up. He tells Charlotte he'll be right back, then he dashes out to find her some ice. "Was it hard?"

"Which part? Barfing up everything I ate or listening to Karl talk about how we don't have enough room and need to move asap?" Charlotte smiles up at me, and I sit down on the edge of the bed. I must have a horrified look on my face, because she shakes her head. "Honestly, I'd give birth ten times over the vomiting. I knew what to expect. Ethan and Evan weren't the easiest labor, so this was a breeze in comparison."

"How are you feeling?"

"Good, sort of tired now that the hard part is over." She watches me, then turns to check on Adam. He's still off to the side, holding Elyse and halfway listening. "Were you guys sleeping?"

"Yeah, but Eva said Rylan would come wake everyone up if we didn't get up," Adam yawns again, and he looks over at me. "This one is just sleeping. Is this all she does?"

Charlotte stares at him with an amused smile. "What else do you want her to do? She's only two hours old."

"I don't know. Can she say anything?"

"Four never had you hang around any babies, did he?" Charlotte dryly observes, and Adam wrinkles his nose at her. "They'll sleep off and on. Eat. Go back to sleep. It stays that way for a while."

"Fun," Adam answers in a voice that conveys the exact opposite. "Has anyone else come by?"

"Rylan, he was first. He was here minutes after their birth, in fact. Jason came by a little while later, and he said Meghan is sleeping. Your parents called and so did Eva's. They're both coming by in the morning, which is fine with me." Charlotte watches the two of us, and she reaches for Ella. I hand her back willingly, and my arms rejoice when the tiny baby is back with her mother.

"Do you think Ethan and Evan will like them?" I watch Charlotte fix Ella's blanket. She makes it look effortless, and Ella barely moves.

"Probably not," Charlotte answers cheerfully. "We told them they were getting two little sisters and they both said no."

"That's funny," Adam wanders closer, stopping by my side. He's still holding Elyse, but he makes no move to hand her back. "I don't know if I would want a brother or sister, either."

"I wouldn't," I agree, and Charlotte smiles widely.

"That's because you two grew up as only children. I bet when you finally have kids, you'll have more than a few."

Neither of us answer her, but there's no need. Karl arrives with two cups full of ice, and he waltzes back into the room like he's come back from battle.

"I found these. They want to know if you want some crackers." He sets the cups down on the table beside the bed, and he surveys his temporary domain. "What do you guys think?"

"They're cute. I love them both," I smile through the sudden wave of exhaustion, and I wonder if Adam is just as tired as I am. "I like their names, too."

"Of course you do," Adam rolls his eyes. "They start with an E."

"Are you guys staying long? Do you want me to make some coffee?" Karl looks oddly alive, and Adam throws me one terrified stare. "No? Eva? Adam?"

"I think we're going to head back home. We really should get to bed. But thank you for the offer," I stand up quickly, and Adam heads toward Karl to hand him his daughter. "We'll come by later. Call me if you need anything."

"You're too nice, Eva. Go home and sleep," Charlotte responds, and I walk around to hug her goodbye. "Enjoy all that…nice, quiet, uninterrupted sleep. It won't last forever."

"Well now I really want to hurry up and have kids," I joke, but really, I'm thinking of all the future naps and early bedtimes I plan on keeping. "I hope you get some rest."

"We will!" Karl takes Elyse from Adam, and he's still high off the birth of his daughters. It's the only thing I can think to explain his wired state. "Have a safe walk home."

We wave goodbye, exiting the room as quietly as possible. The infirmary is super quiet, and for once, there isn't anyone waiting.

"That was…intense," Adam offers, and he walks slowly, like he might fall asleep any second now. "They have a lot of kids now."

"I know. My dad said they're moving to one of the largest apartments we have. They needed more space. I think he's bummed Karl won't be on his floor anymore." I reach for Adam's hand, and I'm so tired I barely notice he's not really listening.

He's silent the whole walk home. He unlocks the door, heads right into the bedroom, and is sound asleep before I can even ask if he thought they were cute.

* * *

He's not so silent in the morning.

I wake to him mumbling my name, and he presses his nose into my hair.

"You're freezing," he points out as he pulls me further against his chest, yanking the covers up and around us.

"I think the heat quit working," I grumble, because he's right. I am freezing. I push myself closer to him, until my feet hit his shins and his chest is against my back. "It sounded weird before we went to bed."

"I'll warm you up."

His offer is very appealing, even more so when I turn around to face him. He's sleepy and warm, only half awake even though it's nearly ten, and not at all ready to get out of bed.

I'm not, either.

We ignore the dinging sounds coming from the phone, and Rylan's request to meet for breakfast, right that second.

He, and the announcement that Blythe has officially been listed as missing, can wait until later.


	32. Chapter 32

Thank you SO much to **Bamberlee** for editing!

My apologies this is late. I got back from California after spring break to all this craziness, and have been working up until yesterday, and a little bit today.

There is one chapter left after this.

And a new story if you're super bored!

Happy Reading and Stay Safe!

* * *

I open my eyes to an arm in my face.

I try to shove it away, but it comes right back, poking my cheek until my eyes open.

"What are you doing?" I ask through gritted teeth, swatting the hand away.

"Eva!" He's persistent; he pokes me again, and I'm afraid to look and see what time it is. I swear I just fell asleep minutes ago. A second passes before he pulls on my hair, then shoves himself closer until there is no space between us. When I pry my eyes open, my vision is filled with striped pajamas and an angry glare.

"I want water."

"No."

"YES!"

"No!"

"YESSSSSS!"

"Fine," I don't argue any further. I untangle myself from the warm sheets and heavy blankets, and I sit up with zero enthusiasm. "I thought you said you weren't thirsty."

"I _am_ thirsty! Water! Water! Water!"

I stare at Ethan with as much contempt as I can muster, and he throws it right back at me.

"Eva, you have to get me water! Adam is sleeping!"

"He won't be if you keep yelling." I grouse at Ethan, though it's a lost cause. He's practically sitting on me, and I wonder when Charlotte had time to get pregnant with more children. "I'll be right back. Try to keep it down."

"Okay. I'll be quiet!" Ethan yells, but everyone else is dead to the world.

Especially Adam.

I glare at him, too.

He and Evan were sound asleep. Evan was as close to him as he could get, wearing the same pajamas Ethan had on, and his arm was thrown over Adam's. Neither of them had woken up to Ethan's demands for water, not even when he shrieks and yells my name.

"Eva, hurry!"

"I'm going," I answer grumpily.

I slide off the bed to a cold floor, and I swear under my breath, wondering how we got roped into this.

Actually, I knew how. My father had asked, then insisted, then threatened me into letting them spend the night. Turns out, while he liked Karl and was willing to help when he could, he'd had his fill of small children in his bed. My mother said the first night they stayed was fun. They watched movies, made popcorn, and showed my father how to use his own tablet. They convinced my mother to let them take extra long baths and they wanted my father to read them their bedtime stories. They were angels, right up until they announced they could only sleep in my parent's bed. Getting them to sleep took hours, until my father loudly announced everyone was going to bed and there were no more stories, or snacks, or taking pictures on his phone.

The second night was the same, but my dad woke up with a sore neck, Ethan's foot in his face, and no covers. My mother had a tough time getting them to eat anything other than sugar cookies and dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets. By noon, my father pawned them off on Rylan.

That didn't last long.

In theory, Rylan was the perfect person to entertain small children. His apartment was full of toys, he was more than fun, and he didn't mind chaos. Toward the afternoon, he took them outside to build snowmen, then promptly forgot about them when he was called back inside to investigate an alarm going off. He got halfway up the stairs before he realized his mistake, and he made everyone promise not to tell Karl he'd left his kids in the snow. He made up for it by taking them to get cocoa and more cookies. They were good for him, until one spilled his drink all over the floor, and the other took off to follow someone else outside, laughing evilly as Rylan tried to simultaneously clean up the mess and corral the other one back inside. He bribed them both with a piece of chocolate cake, then called Christina and demanded she come help him.

By five, they were ready to crash.

Rylan included.

Since Charlotte and Karl were staying for one more night, and my parents weren't so enthused to wind up not sleeping again, they came to us. Jason had already politely said he couldn't have them come over because Meghan was sick. We knew this was sort of true; he'd texted Adam earlier to tell him she wasn't feeling too hot, and he didn't think it would be much longer before she went into labor. Four was spending the evening helping Kacie with something in the control room. Tris wasn't even here. Even Karl's friends were no help; they were all on patrol and all not scheduled to return until much later.

That left Adam and me, the only people who really knew Ethan and Evan.

It started out fine.

Rylan dropped them off, his hair a mess, his shirt untucked, and his hands sticky, and he left faster than I've ever seen him leave before. He didn't even try to hang around or check out his own portrait. He split before Ethan was fully in the door, cheerfully calling out good luck and announcing he was going to bed.

I was expecting them to be holy terrors, but to my surprise, they were pretty well behaved. We ordered dinner from Quinten and they ate without any complaints. I gave them a bath with way too much bubble bath, and once done, they both insisted the guest room was too scary to sleep in.

To my surprise, Adam shrugged and gave in, assuming he'd get more sleep if they weren't yelling his name all night from the guest room.

I figured Adam would wind up in there at some point, because they were both clingy and both wanted to sleep as close as possible. But he wasn't bothered by them at all. He and Evan told me some not so scary story, and the two of them were out cold a minute after they were done. Ethan was a little less eager to go to sleep, but he eventually conked out holding onto a chunk of my hair, and his leg was thrown over mine.

But now he was awake, demanding water and scooting closer and closer to Adam.

"Anything else?"

He shakes his head, his blonde hair sticking up in a few directions, and his angelic appearance a total lie.

"I'll be right back."

I head into the kitchen, blindly stumbling down a dark hallway, until I can find the light switch. The kitchen is bathed in too bright lighting, and I squint as I search for a glass. I fill it up slowly, knowing he wants ice and water and the special water that was in the bottle my father had brought over because it was the only water my father would drink and therefore the only water Ethan would drink, and I jump when my phone buzzes.

"Shit!"

I almost drop the water, but I save it in time. I grab my long forgotten phone on the counter, and I swipe up to see a message from my grandpa.

It's a picture of him and my grandmother. They're sitting in front of their fireplace, with Ginger on their lap, and she's waving wildly at whoever is taking the photo. They look cozy and happy, and in the corner is a blur of Forrest talking to Woody and Paisley and Holly deep in discussion.

I smile when I read the message below it. I read it a few times, and it takes Ethan yelling my name to jerk me back to reality. I don't respond, because it's late, too late for them all to be up, but also because I don't have an answer for them.

I'm not sure when Adam and I will be back, but I would bet everything I own Ginger is counting down the minutes until his return.

* * *

"He's a terrorist. That one."

Adam points to Ethan, balanced carefully on the arm of our couch, on one foot. Ethan is frozen perfectly still, but he slyly glances out of the corner of his eye to see if we are looking at him, and when he can see that we are, he jumps.

Onto the coffee table, sliding a few feet until he falls right off the other side.

"Again!"

He pops back up like this is something he does every day, and I silently hope Karl is ready to return to his original precious offspring.

"Adam! EVA! WATCH ME!" Ethan yells so loud that we both jump, and he makes sure we're looking at him. He jumps, spins around until he's dizzy, then laughs hysterically.

"Doesn't this make you want to have like, five of them?" I glance up at Adam out of the corner of my eye, and he snickers. I'm sitting against his chest, with our feet propped up on the ottoman in front of us. On his other side is Evan, playing a game on a tablet I don't remember him showing up with. "Maybe six?"

"Why stop there? Why not seven? Eight? Nine, if they have as much energy as Ethan." Adam's answer is dry and funny and downright rich with sarcasm as he watches Ethan climb back onto the arm of the couch. Ethan grins innocently at his stare; his shirt black like Adam's and his tiny boxers are the same color. He waits until he has either Adam's approval or disapproval, and it's clear it doesn't matter which one.

He leaps again, giggling hysterically as he slides across, then falls off the table once more.

"Ten," I lean back further against him, feeling a speck of competitiveness over who got to be closer. Adam had to feel suffocated; Evan had been glued to his side since he woke up, and I wasn't any better. We'd sat down with the intention to watch something, but instead were treated to Ethan performing this daring routine over and over. "Thanks for letting them stay the night. I don't think my parents could handle much more."

"Yeah, no big deal. Your dad looked pretty over it," Adam laughs, and I catch him glancing down at me. He throws me this half smile, like he has some secret he's dying to tell me, but he just can't.

I don't mind at all.

Since he and his father had talked, things were better. Even though their talk was in the middle of Clyde's, spoken back and forth quickly, and barely scratching the surface of how they felt, it was what they needed. Adam got to tell him what was bothering him, and Four said what Adam wanted to hear: that his father was sorry for blaming him and very glad he was alive.

It wasn't everything, but it was a start. The smallest speck of understanding between them that could potentially be so much more. It would take more time for them to talk further, but for now, Adam's spirits were lifted. I assumed Four's had, too, until I learned he was still working to make sure Rylan's story was more fact than fiction.

The news of Blythe going missing wasn't exactly shocking, but it didn't make me feel any better.

"Do you want to go to dinner tonight? To that one fancier place? They're going home, right?" Adam looks back over at Ethan, pretending to be asleep on the floor. "Or are they staying with us again?"

"No, they're going home. Rylan said he's picking them up in a little bit and he's going to take them to Karl. We can go to dinner." I look up at him, wondering if there's a reason he wants to eat there. The only times I'd ever gone was with my father and mother, and it wasn't a place I would normally pick. "Is it a special occasion?"

"Sort of," Adam answers off handedly. His fingers find the ends of my hair, and he twirls it around while Ethan stands up, then immediately collapses to the floor like we can't see him. "It's a surprise."

"I can't wait," I move closer to him, trying to figure out what it could be. I come up with absolutely nothing, but that's fine. "I also can't wait until Rylan gets here."

"Me neither."

Adam pulls me as close as he can, without squishing Evan. He finally picks a show to watch, something a little more child friendly than the horror movies my father gifted us, and Ethan continues leaping off the couch. We spend the next hour watching talking dogs try and save the day, over and over, until Rylan gleefully shows up to take Ethan and Evan home, swearing loudly when he realizes Evan has his missing tablet.

The one he just ordered a replacement for.

* * *

Hours later, after Ethan and Evan have been returned to their parents, Meghan gives birth.

The phone call is expected. We're still some of the very few who knew they were having a baby, and we'd been waiting for it to happen. Adam answered on the first ring, the call coming at a much better time than two in the morning but a less better time considering we were on our way out the door, and he congratulated Jason while gesturing for me to put my shoes on.

"I told him we'd be right there."

Adam looked excited. His eyes lit up at both his friend having a baby and being one of the few people who knew it was happening. I quickly tied my shoes, grabbed my phone, and reached for his hand. He took it immediately, sliding his fingers between mine until our palms touched, then practically dragged me out the door.

One brisk walk later, we were back in the infirmary, being led to the same area Charlotte had been, and taken to a room that looked identical to the others. It's a flat color, painted to be soothing and relaxing, but it makes me nervous. It's a little drab, and it feels way more claustrophobic then it did at two in the morning.

"Hey! You guys came!"

We're greeted by Jason, and he looks just as alive as Karl. I'd always known him to be less serious than my father, more responsible than Rylan, but fully capable of pranking someone if the need be. I knew his own journey here had taken him from side kick and ever loyal friend of my father's, to his own unique story. He and Meghan had long been happy together, never once feeling like they were missing out on having children and living this cool, almost hip life.

Until now.

Jason looks completely different. His hair is pulled up just like Rylan's so it's out of his face, and his eyes look sort of red, like he's been rubbing them. But he's beaming, truly happy at the tiny baby in his arms, and even prouder of his wife. He keeps looking at her with a stare of disbelief, and she smiles every time he does.

I hate to compare them, because Charlotte had two children before Elle and Elyse, but Meghan doesn't look quite as great as Charlotte did. She looks a little pale, a lot tired, and she winces when she sits up. I notice there are lots of extra things on her: an IV slid into the top of her wrist, a bracelet with her name and some allergies printed on it, and a general aura of pure exhaustion.

She still looks pretty.

And incredibly happy.

"I didn't think you guys would be here so soon." She's flustered as we walk in, but it vanishes the second she sees it's just Adam and me. "Do your parents know? Are they outside?"

"No," Adam shakes his head, and he heads right for Jason. "I didn't say a word. Eva, did you?"

"Nope," I linger behind him for a minute, smiling at Meghan as she fixes her hair. It's piled up on top of her head, and she gives up after a minute of trying to rearrange it. She doesn't have the hospital gown on, either. She's got what looks to be Jason's shirt, and a pair of black pajama pants. "I think if anyone was wondering where you were, they'd just assume you were sick. But I still can't believe you pulled this off."

"Me either," Meghan smiles back, and she moves so Jason and Adam can sit on the end of the bed. She has a second wrist band with her doctor's name, along with their credentials from Erudite. I don't recognize the name, just the tiny Erudite logo beside it. "Jason is determined to just…show up with a baby."

"I am!" He laughs, and it takes him a second to hand Adam his son. "I think everyone will be pretty surprised. Here, his name is Elijah. You two are the first to meet him."

"Really?" Adam looks honored, and he very carefully takes Elijah from Jason. "Elijah? Did you plan this with Karl?"

"No," Jason laughs, and even Meghan finds him funny. "It's my dad's name. Meghan liked it, so we decided to use it."

"Are you going to call him Eli?" I stand in front of Adam, and I grin at Elijah. He's bigger than Ella and Elyse are, and his hair is a reddish blonde color. "He's really handsome."

Adam looks up at me, sort of expectantly. It's clear he's very happy for his friend, and I like it even better that his friend is Jason. So I reach out to touch Elijah's hair, and I have to admit he's adorable. His hair is soft beneath my fingers, and he opens his eyes when I move my hand away. He looks right up at me, then looks back at Adam. I like him; I wonder if he'll take after his father and believe Dauntless is haunted, or if Jason will wait until he's older to introduce him to the world of the paranormal.

Or if he'll take after Meghan and someday insist upon making his hair a different shocking color.

"Thanks Eva," Jason looks pleased, and Adam nods.

"He is. I thought Meghan said all babies look like old men."

"They do," Meghan wrinkles her nose, but her eyes fall to Elijah. "Almost all newborns are all scrunched up and wrinkly, but I think Elijah is pretty cute. He looks just like Jason."

Jason looks over at her, and I can see why he changed his mind about having a baby. It's clear Meghan thinks the world of him and their son. He reaches for her hand, frowning at the IV still stuck in the top, and I feel wildly invasive at being here.

"Do you like him?" I ask, more to distract myself. It wasn't like Adam was going to announce he thought Elijah was terrible. "Better than Ethan?"

To his credit, Adam laughs, and he leans back. His shirt is a dark button down I haven't seen before, and his pants are black. His shoes are black, too, and they match the ones I have on.

"That's not hard. Though his spin kick was out of this world."

"We heard he's been having a rough time. Eric said he doesn't like when Karl isn't at home. They were a little nervous to bring the girls home because Ethan wasn't happy to be getting two little sisters." Jason lets go of Meghan's hand, and he frowns when his phone rings. "Oh shit. Speak of the devil. Should I tell Eric? He'll know something's up."

Meghan grins, but she shakes her head no. "You can if you want, but you've made it this far. You sure you don't want to wait a few more days? You could bring him to your meeting. I'd love to see Eric's face when you show up with a baby."

Jason quickly debates this, then nods. He answers my father's phone call quickly, but steps outside to talk to him.

"What are you guys doing tonight? Anything fun?" Meghan stares at us, patiently waiting to hear about our plans. Adam looks at me, grinning widely as he hands me Elijah, and he waits until he's sure I have him.

For the second time in days, there's a tiny baby in my arms, though Elijah weighs considerably more.

"We're going to dinner. We have a reservation at seven," Adam informs her, but his eyes are on me. He reaches out to touch Elijah's hair, and his fingers stay there for a minute. "It's our anniversary."

"Of what?" I ask suspiciously, pulled beneath the wave of horror of not realizing what day it was. I try to figure out what the significance of today could be, but I can't figure it out. "Of not dying? Of the day we met? Did I miss your birthday?"

"Of the day Eva threw herself at me," Adam answers with perfect seriousness, but he cracks up at the look on my face. My glare isn't enough to make him stop, and even Meghan is trying not to laugh. "Okay, it's not that. I just thought it would be nice to eat somewhere besides Clyde's."

"Are you going to the…whatever the fancy one is?" Meghan leans back against the pillow, and I nod. I shift Elijah closer to me, not sure why I'm adjusting him. He's fine. He occasionally looks around, but he's pretty content in the dark black blanket. I smile at the dark color, because even his pajamas are black. "Jason and I went there once. It was…interesting. I thought it was overpriced but Jason liked it."

"Yeah, it was hard to get in. They didn't seem to want to take my name. I finally got through when I told them I was bringing Eva."

"The perks of dating me are endless," I sweetly remind him, and I step forward to hand Meghan her baby. "He really is adorable, Meghan. I was wondering if he'd have red hair."

"Me too," she smiles warmly, and I remember our conversation by the elevators. "I'm really glad you guys came by first. I don't think I have enough energy to deal with Rylan."

"I'm pretty sure he's sleeping. I think Ethan and Evan wore him out," Adam puts his palms behind him, and he leans back to look at me, then Meghan. "We should head out. Let you guys rest."

"Thank you," Meghan tries hard not to look too relieved, but she is.

She takes Elijah from me, very carefully, and I remember Charlotte looking like a pro. Meghan is more careful as she moves him, and she sort of collapses against the pillows with Elijah against her chest. "Will you tell Jason to take his time? I'm just going to shut my eyes for a minute."

"Sure," I answer, and Adam stands up. He tells her goodbye and wishes her congratulations on the baby, then takes my hand in his. "We can come by once you guys are home. Or…just call us if you need a break."

"That's really sweet. I would have thought you two would have had your fill of babies this week." Meghan's eyes shut for a moment, but they open a second later. "Enjoy your dinner."

We leave right as Jason comes back in. He's still on the phone, but he hugs both Adam and me, mouths he'll call one of us later, and returns to Meghan. The door shuts behind us, softly, and I can't help but feel a strange wave of happiness for the two of them.

After weeks of tense debates over parents, grandparents, and the threat of survival, it feels good.

* * *

"Is this okay?"

Adam looks at me from his spot on the ground. His feet are up in front of him, and the dinner is neatly arranged on the blanket we'd found. He tilts his head, and his shoulders are up higher than normal. There's an air of nervousness to him, one that wasn't there earlier. It's a funny look; not like he's going to bolt or dump me and then bolt, but like I might not like this and instead demand we go back down into the restaurant.

Which would have proven impossible.

They'd somehow lost our reservation.

We'd shown up dressed nicer than we normally would have, and for a fleeting moment, I was excited to eat there. It wasn't that I needed to be wined and dined at a place that cost the remaining few points we had left from initiation, but the thought of a nice dinner with Adam and no one else was sort of cool. No parents asking for forgiveness and grace as they dealt with their own issues. No parents just dropping by to say hello. No babies. No toddlers. No uncle, still mourning the loss of his presumed fiancée who still was MIA. No next-door neighbor, dropping by yet again, to ask if I had any coffee, while shirtless.

Just Adam and me.

Unfortunately, our hopes were dashed when the hostess nervously informed us she didn't have Adam's name written down, and neither did anyone else. She frantically flipped through page after page, but ultimately, his name wasn't anywhere. There was a moment of wavering hope when she realized who we were, and I saw her scan the printed layout of the restaurant in an attempt to find us a table. While we were both polite at that moment, there was a chance one of us would call our parents down here, and the hostess would find herself out of a job for refusing to seat a leader's son or daughter.

It vanished when someone came over and whispered furiously at her, then us. They offered to let us order, they'd prep our food to go, and we wouldn't have to pay.

We agreed.

We took it upstairs, to the roof, right to the very spot where Adam and I used to meet. The blanket was a long shot, having been left out here by someone else with this very idea, but we were willing to risk it over sitting on the ground. It was quiet, warm enough from the fire we'd lit in the trash can with Rylan's name scratched into it, and alone enough that I didn't feel like someone would crash our party.

The sky was dark, so inky it looked endless, and the stars were plentiful. Every so often there was a howl; a whoosh of wind or a crackle of the fire, and it felt like we were anywhere but here. I found this better than sitting there with the ancient members of Dauntless demanding more wine, extra salad dressing, and a discount for somehow still being alive.

"This is perfect. We don't even have to tip the guy in the tuxedo who didn't want to wait on us anyway." I grin at Adam, completely content to sit out here. It is still cold, but not so cold that this was proving impossible. "Are you going to tell me what we're celebrating?"

"I already told you," Adam smirks, and his words are cheeky. "We're celebrating the day you decided you couldn't live without me."

"Oh, so when I was like, three days old?" I shrug around the forkful of mashed potatoes, and he smiles back smugly. "Or, when our mothers forced us to take naps together so they could gossip while we slept? How did you even pick a date?"

"I guessed," Adam laughs. "But it could be any of those. Take your pick."

"Let me think about it before I settle on just one." I adjust my legs to the side of me, wondering how long we could stay out here. A lot of our relationship –friendship or current relationship – revolved around being outside. We'd met outside for years before the start of each school year. He'd stood outside the choosing ceremony, waiting for me to show up. We'd jumped together, though he would have continued on to Amity if I'd asked him to. We'd had our first kiss outside, atop my grandfather's Ferris wheel of death, and we'd gotten lost in the woods and saved ourselves.

All outside.

Which was probably why being stuck underground was feeling so wrong these days.

"Adam, are you…can I ask you something?" I fumble with the steak in front of me, stabbing it aimlessly a few times and wondering if I'd ever met the cow who was now my dinner. Jason had once given up eating meat. It didn't last long, but Rylan liked to remind him he'd been head butted by a cow once, and how this proved they were our natural enemy.

"Sure. Are you going to read me a poem?"

I look up to see Adam trying very hard to keep a straight face. I make a face back at him, remembering my horror when he showed up, and I was certain he'd come to read me some sappy poetry while I was trapped in Amity.

I was never so happy to be proven wrong when I figured out why he was really there.

"Actually, I am. Ethan taught me one. Something about one fish, two fish…" I trail off, watching as Adam cuts his own steak. He pauses when I stop talking, then looks up at me.

"Um, are you going to keep going? You can't leave me hanging right there," he deadpans as he stabs the steak, then pauses when his expression turns serious. "Eva, what's wrong?"

I swallow thickly, and the air seems to drop a few degrees. I stall by staring at his shirt until my eyes blur, and I look up at his face to make everything clear.

"Do you think we made a mistake?" I set my fork down, and I lean in closer. He does, too. His blue eyes are glued to mine, and he waits until I can say the next part. "Picking Dauntless?"

"I thought…I thought you wanted to stay here. You have your mom and dad…your friends…" Adam justifies my decision for me, reminding me of the very reasons I'd given him for wanting to stay. "You didn't want to leave any of them."

"I promised my dad I wouldn't," I confess, and it feels strangely freeing to tell someone this. My father wasn't the only reason I stayed, but he was a good one. "But I keep thinking, that maybe…maybe…"

"Maybe you should have picked somewhere else?" Adam sets his fork down, and this dinner swings in a whole different direction than I'm sure he had planned. "Are you saying you should have gone to Amity? Or do you just want to go back because it was…"

He stops, too.

I watch his face carefully, and it's like the same memories are right there.

"Because it was sort of our thing. Because you and I were there and no one else was butting in?"

"Yeah," I drop my gaze, and the confusion is immediate. "I keep thinking about going back. I miss my grandpa and grandma, and I feel really stupid because half of my family is here. But there's nothing here I want to do. I don't want to ask my dad for a job so you and I don't get stuck out on the rotating patrols. I don't want to spend my days…underground, or staring at a computer screen or trying to figure out if Rylan set something on fire and if it was because he was bored or he's trying to cover up evidence."

Adam nods, and his understanding is a huge relief.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. I haven't picked anything. I keep looking at the jobs available and they're all…just, not what I would want to do. Then I thought, maybe this is where we start. Maybe we take one and work our way up, and fifteen years from now, we find jobs we like." He ends his statement with a sarcastic grin, then exhales heavily. "I could always ask my dad. I'm sure given the state of things, he'd sign off on whatever I asked. I'm sure your dad would do the same. They could make something up if they had to."

"Yeah, but I don't want them to." I answer dejectedly, and I suddenly wish I'd never brought this up. I was effectively ruining this night and my intent was the exact opposite. "You know what? I'm sorry. You wanted to have this nice dinner and I'm just…thinking about something stupid. Or too serious."

"It's not stupid. I would have gone with you. I told you if you'd asked me to go to another faction, I would have," Adam reminds me. He sits up straighter, and the nervous look returns. "Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something serious. I've been thinking about this and I, uh, wasn't sure how to ask you."

"Ask me what?"

There's a woozy rush when Adam looks at me, and his eyes are dark. He smiles, the corners of his lips turning up slightly, then he moves to push the plates out of the way. Our dinner is long forgotten as he scoots closer to me, and the space between us is gone when he finally winds up sitting only inches away.

"Adam?"

His name echoes on the roof, bouncing off the high wall where a security camera had long ceased working. It bounces off the slanted slope of poorly done, rocky paving, and right off the ledge, where I'd nearly tripped and fallen to my death.

Right over the place where we'd stood, and he'd given me the bracelet before school started.

"I know you said you don't want to, so not now, and maybe not anytime soon. Not this year, or even next year…maybe three years?" Adam thinks out loud, and I realize I've grasped onto his fingers. I pull him closer, wondering what he could possibly be talking about.

The only thing I can come up with is in three years, we'll be three years into whatever low ranking jobs we'd taken, but he's not talking about that. The look on his face tells me he's been thinking about this for a while now, and it's now or never.

"Evangelina," he stares as he says my full name, and I swear my heart stops beating for a solid minute.

"Yes?"

"I was thinking one day, you and I could get married."

"You want to marry me? Now?" I blurt out without thinking, and Adam stifles down his snicker at my answer.

"Not like, this second. I know you said you didn't want to get married when you were eighteen. But we could wait. I just thought…after everything that happened, it would make sense. I mean, I didn't think we'd survive what happened in Amity, and after nearly dying and having everyone assuming we're going to get married, maybe we could just do it. We don't even have to tell anyone if you don't want to. But this way, we're in it together, and if things don't work out here, we can always…leave. Together. You know how I feel about you, and I was just…I was hoping you'd say yes. Or at least think about it. It doesn't have to be right now. I just don't want anything to change before I had the chance to ask."

He stares at me hopefully, and his eyes don't leave mine.

For a minute, neither of us say anything. I just look at him, thinking that if someone had told me I'd wind up spending most of my nights with Adam, that he and I would complete our initiation in another faction, would nearly die together all because of some family secrets, and he'd propose a few weeks later, I'd have laughed in their face. Never in a million years did I believe this would happen. But it is, and it's not everyone's theory coming true. It's Adam going after what he wants, which is a life with someone who loves him, and wanting it sooner rather than later.

There's only one small problem.

"You really think we could get away with getting married and not telling anyone?" I chew on the side of my cheek to stop from grinning stupidly, because the idea of marrying him doesn't sound so bad. Even though there wasn't a chance in hell someone wouldn't figure it out. "They'll find out as soon as we fill out the paperwork. Then they'll come find us and want to know why we didn't tell them and who-"

"So is that a yes?" Adam interrupts me, and his impatience makes me smile even wider. "Are you going to marry me, Evangelina Coulter?"

"Only if you promise me we can name all our kids something that starts with the letter E," I shrug, and I'm nearly knocked over by him. "Adam!"

I yelp his name when he kisses me, his lips crashing into mine as he celebrates his triumphant proposal. I let go of his hand to grasp onto him; my fingers skimming over his cheeks, soft and warm and sharper than I remember, and his fingers find my jaw. He cradles them there for a moment, then pulls me closer, tilting my head up at him.

"You have to say yes, Eva. You can't just say _Adam_." He points this out as he breaks our kiss, but his nose touches my temple. "Otherwise I'm not sure this counts."

"Yes," I sigh, overwhelmed with the feeling of complete sureness. "I'll marry you. Is that better?"

"It is," Adam kisses my cheek, then moves to look at me. "Are you sure? You really want to do this? Or are you holding out for your next door neighbor?"

"I said yes! Now get off me," I laugh, trying to arrange myself into a better seated position. I rise up to kiss him again, stupidly happy over something everyone was so sure would happen, and I don't even care that they were right. In fact, it seems dumb that I was ever annoyed over such words. "I'll marry you, but not here. Not in Dauntless."

Adam's hands fall from my hair, but his nod is as quick as his smile. He understands immediately, and I had a feeling he would.

"I think I have an idea you'll like."

His fingers skim over my cheeks, his touch cold and light, and there's a feeling of total completeness. It comes from nowhere, much like the homesickness had, and it brings forth the realization that he was who I needed all along.

I doubt we'll be able to keep this a secret for very long, but for now, I am incredibly happy to celebrate with Adam, and only Adam.

* * *

We celebrate, again, once we're home.

I look up at Adam's face, hovering over mine, and all I can see is how happy he looks. The tension is gone from him, his shoulders have relaxed down to where they should be, and his eyes are on mine. It's intense enough that I would normally look away, but I don't. I reach up to touch the slant of his cheekbone, and the half smile is immediate. His head turns to rest against my fingers, and the frantic pace from a few minutes ago is gone.

We'd pretty much skipped eating the rest of our dinner.

We were both high off the feeling of knowing this was forever. It was something I'd never felt before, a heavy dose of pure and total completeness that my family didn't give me. It wasn't that I'd grown up unloved in any way, but this was different. I didn't need Adam to complete me, but I liked that he did. He was the only one who understood the way we'd grown up, and he was content and happy to be with me. He wasn't asking for me to change; he didn't want me to be more daring, less daring, have different hair, prove how edgy or brave I was, nor did he care that I came with enough family members to start our own army.

He loved me for me, and I'd been wrong in thinking he didn't like me.

Maybe he'd never disliked me.

"You look so happy," I curl my fingers into his hair, gently urging him to be closer. This wasn't what I meant to say. I hadn't even meant to speak, because it was all too good to ruin by saying something dumb or commenting on what we were doing. But after weeks of tense, dark times, his happiness was well earned, but most importantly, contagious.

"Yeah, well there was a chance you'd say no," Adam teases, and his forehead touches mine. "Or you'd have to think about it."

I laugh when he shakes his head, like he can shake that very thought away if he tries hard enough.

I wouldn't have said I wanted to wait, nor would I have said no.

I never truly pictured myself getting married to anyone. There had never been anyone brave enough to try and win over my father or dumb enough to try and ignore him altogether. Adam had had my father's approval for some time now, and all that was left was making this absolutely official.

I had the feeling it would be happening as soon as possible.

"I don't need to think about it."

I pull his head down to mine, kissing him until he's grinning from ear to ear, until the lovely warm feeling spreads through my entire body, and I am certain we won't be getting out of bed anytime soon.

We don't.

* * *

A few days later, after spending precious hours away from everyone, Nikolai waits for me.

He looks different than I remember; his shirt is a little sleeker and more fitted than before, and his boots are shiny and tight with equally stiff laces. His hair is perfection, combed into place with the barest hint of a flip at the ends, and it's recently been cut shorter than I remember seeing.

He sits with Christian, equally elegant but arguably more excitable, at a large table in the most expensive restaurant Dauntless has.

The one that lost our reservation.

I take a seat at the table across from them, feeling fairly underdressed. My own dark sundress is pretty, but a size too large, and slightly shorter than what felt acceptable for such fine dining. It was also nowhere near as Dauntless as what they had on, and I'd thrown it on hastily, after receiving this invitation.

"You look nice," Nikolai eyes me up and down, and I can't tell if he's being serious or he's mocking me.

"Thanks," I glance around quickly, suddenly wondering if I was about to be ambushed. Was this the moment when someone jumped out from behind the row of booths, yelling and cheering that I'd been selected for a Dauntless makeover and it was happening right now. "It's just…a dress that I had in my closet."

"I figured," he eyes me again, but he smiles, and gestures to the man beside him. "I know you know Christian. I just wanted to inform you I've taken a position working with him. Your father offered me a job working for him, which was ultimately very kind considering my mother tried to take him down. But office work isn't really my thing. Neither is stomping through the muddy snow."

"I see," my gaze flicks from him, to Christian, clearly dying to say something. He smiles warmly at me, but I know he's just biding his time until he has the chance to really speak. "And what will you be doing?"

"What _won't_ I be doing?" Nikolai waves dramatically, then graciously accepts a generous amount of wine from the server. He watches her fill his glass then looks at me.

"Oh, no thank you. I'll just have…some water." My last foray into drinking had left me feeling dizzy and weird, and I had no desire to recreate that feeling in the middle of the day. "Well, congratulations. Christian would be amazing to work for."

Across from me, Christian grins even wider.

He looks exactly the same as my earliest memory of him. Slight, with hair large and just as dramatic as he is. His own jacket isn't a uniform jacket, but a coat lined with a shiny fabric that glimmers beneath the lights. His boots sparkle, the buckle a dark gold, with his initials engraved on it.

While this might be a dream partnership for Nikolai, only one of them could be the most fabulous. I predicted there would be a violent duel that eventually unfolded in between rows of dark fabric and the yards of pink Christian kept on hand just for my mother.

I hope Christian hid the sewing needles in advance.

"Thank you, Eva. I'm honored to finally have someone who shares my vision. My dream was for your father to collaborate on a line, but somehow, he's always busy." Christian pauses, and the insult on his face is fleeting. "With your mother, I'm assuming. I thought I'd catch him for a minute, but when I stopped by today, he opened the door and snapped for me to come back later."

I shake my head, toying with the fork in front of me. It's heavy and lethal feeling, and I wonder when the silverware here became so aggressive. "You probably interrupted them. They, uh, still really like each other."

"Cute," Nikolai interrupts, looking mildly grossed out. "Anyway, I invited you down here because we need to catch up. I want to hear all about Amity. Christian wants to hear about the clothes…"

"Lots of ill-fitting prairie ensembles. I'm right, aren't I?" Christian interrupts. "I've been to Amity plenty of times. Things have improved with Harrison there, but his choice of clothing can be questionable as well. Let's be honest, he once wore a tuxedo to the last meeting I was forced to attend."

"Well…."

He's not entirely wrong, but I can't bring myself to admit it. In Amity, they wore some normal clothes in addition to the dresses, especially the people working out in the fields. No farmer was going to wear a dress to stomp through the mud, unless they were my mother. But I knew what Christian was thinking. And my grandfather's clothes could be a little out there, though every time I saw him, he was dressed normally.

"Forrest had pants on. My aunts looked normal," I try to reason with them, but I'm cut off by Nikolai.

"Fascinating, truly. But I want to hear about Kat, and why she's taken the most wretched job we have. Also, why she looks violently ill every time I see her. I don't so much care about Rachel or Pink. I see them all the time." Nikolai waits while the waitress drops off my water, and she practically whispers she'll be right back in an attempt at sophistication. "Most importantly, I want to hear about your time in Amity with Adam. Because let me tell you, I saw his father while he was gone, and the word vicious doesn't even begin to describe how he looked. But Adam is certainly looking much happier these days."

"I saw him, too. I'm not too impressed with him lately. He seems to be…more tortured than usual. I think he had the same shirt on for three days in a row. Same black, wrinkled…ensemble." Christian offers this not at all helpful statement, and I realize I have a choice here.

I could explain everything, every painful detail of what had happened and delve deep into Four and Adam's personal business and that Four probably had more than one black shirt and pants, or I could wrap this up quickly, and figure out if Nikolai knew anything about Kat that I hadn't heard yet.

I could also tell them Adam and I had talked about getting married, but that wouldn't be conducive of our plans to keep this quiet.

"Adam and I…we were in Amity. You know I was attacked during the War Games. I was told to stay there with my grandpa, and Adam was told to go back to Dauntless. He didn't want to stay here, so he showed up that night and he stayed with me until we ran into Marcus. Neither of us knew he had a grandfather out there, and it wasn't good. We wound up, um…" I stop for a moment, but they're both listening intently. "I'm sure you heard. Marcus wanted to kill us. He tried. We managed to get away from him, crossed the river, and made our way to Erudite. It was absolutely freezing and we probably would have died if we hadn't found the train."

"Great job staying alive. But what did you do in Amity?" Nikolai ignores the part about death completely and focuses in on the part that I wasn't elaborating on. "I heard about his grandpa. We heard Four didn't tell him shit and it got out of hand. But what did you do there? Rake leaves? Stare at the stars? Conjure up a corn demon?"

"You mean in the faction?" I look at him in surprise, and he shrugs. "We just…hung out. I have a lot of family there, so we visited with them. Adam went sledding. I helped my grandma. I don't know. We watched a movie…"

There was a lot that had happened in Amity.

Just thinking of it forces up a wave of homesickness, even though I was currently home. I have a sudden longing for the far away forest, the fire crackling while Adam talked to me until I fell asleep, and the breakfasts with my grandparents and whoever else in the family showed up. I try to shake this feeling away; I have family here, a floor above me. Two parents, probably half asleep on the couch together, while my mother forced my father to watch some cheesy movie someone swore she'd love on his lunch break.

I had an entire family here, including extended family: my uncle, too many godfathers, the number one godfather, Karl, even Adam's parents.

So why did I feel like I wanted to be anywhere but Dauntless.

"Eva, you look a little nauseous." Nikolai is too observant. "We should order. You probably need to eat. You returned from Amity a bit… underfed."

"I did not," I scowl, and I push the thought of Adam smiling down at me in my grandmother's garden away. "I'm just…tired. I've been busy."

"Busy doing things with…Adam?" Nikolai says this while flashing a blinding grin, then he sighs in exasperation. "Okay, I know. This is very much your personal business and you and Adam are very private. I get it. But I spent weeks working out by him, weeks watching him stare at you until he was brave enough to tell you how he felt and weeks listening to him defend what he was doing to his moron friends, I feel like I deserve to know. You two get to spend some time away from here, you return practically engaged, and no one ever sees you. Am I even invited to your wedding?"

I freeze, because I know he's exaggerating. There is no way he'd know Adam actually proposed, and there's nothing in his words but pure curiosity and a dash of hope that he will get to be invited to what would no doubt be a huge event.

Unlike everyone else who wanted to know what was going on, Nikolai wasn't asking because he found the situation funny or hilarious. He had been a part of this. He'd told me Adam liked me, and he'd even insisted we'd end up together once we were alone.

He'd been right.

I just wasn't sure he was the first person I'd tell.

That would be my grandfather in Erudite.

"He hasn't…not really..." I manage to answer, and I recognize my mistake the minute I say the words. "Christian, no! I didn't…we aren't planning a wedding! We…he…"

Christian silences me by holding up both his hands. His smirk is well earned, because it's obvious he's been waiting for this day for some time.

"Okay, first of all, I never got to design a wedding dress for your mother. Your father married her in the middle of the evening, without telling a soul. Including her. She wore some ill-fitting, off the rack…gown to the dinner they were going to, and while it was pretty and fine, it was not a wedding dress. I was involved in their second wedding, but I've been waiting for yours. You're even prettier than she is, and you deserve the wedding of your dreams."

"I'm ...we're not…" I frantically try to think of a way to explain this to him. "He might not even want to have a wedding. We heard about it all in Amity, and then once we were back. He might think it would be better if we just…live together."

"Live together? In _sin_?" Christian gasps, pretending to be horrified. "I'm just kidding. I'm hardly one to talk. I just wanted to be here so you can agree that I will be the one making your dress. Whenever Eaton finds the time to propose."

"Sure," I agree immediately, knowing it would be better to appease him now than spend all lunch insisting otherwise. "You can make whatever you want, and if I ever get married, you'll be ready."

"Great," Christian looks pleased, and I can see his mind whirling. "How tall are you again?"

"What is Adam doing? Did you two pick jobs yet?" Nikolai asks the real question here, and I shake my head.

"No," my voice sounds dejected, and I am. "Everyone picked ahead of us and there's really nothing either of us want. I was thinking I'd talk to my dad and see what we could do. I don't want to be on some random patrol squad for hours on end. And I don't want Adam gone for weeks at a time."

"Both options sound miserable."

Nikolai stops speaking when the waitress returns to take our order. I order a salad, then after a glare from Nikolai, I order some chicken. He and Christian both order steak, and their attention is back on me before I can think of a way to change the subject.

They do it for me.

They bring up Kat and Zander, and I spend the rest of my lunch paying careful attention as he reveals the very gritty details of their very public breakup, and Zander's unfortunately very public meltdown.

The only thing I truly take away from this lunch, is that my planned reconciliation with Kat might not go according to plan.

* * *

"What are you going to say?"

I lie on my parent's bed, upside down, halfway watching my father fix his jacket. He's dressed like he's going somewhere important; the uniform is black and heavy, and he sighs in exasperation when he doesn't like how it fits.

"Did your mother shrink this?" He's not really asking me. He scowls at his reflection, and I shrug from the bed.

"I don't think she does the laundry. You said we weren't allowed to use the microwave so we both assumed the washing machine was off limits, too." I remind him while I stare at their ceiling, debating my next move. I'd stopped by here after lunch, and I was hoping to find both my parents home. Instead, I found just my father, trying to find his boots and preparing to leave for Candor.

I didn't have to go, which was great, because I hadn't prepared any statement.

I'd been too busy trying to track Kat down.

Turned out, Nikolai had lots of information. He hadn't just seen her around, looking miserable and pale. He also hadn't just heard about Zander's meltdown over their breakup. He had witnessed it. Kat had also turned to him in a moment of desperation, not over me, but over the fact that she'd never be together with my uncle.

He told me all this while slicing apart his steak. Christian nodded every so often, not entirely invested but happy to be involved, and he would occasionally point out that Kat was the only girl on the squad she'd joined. This fun fact had caused Zander to spiral even further; he loathed the idea that in a moment of vulnerability, some other guy would win her over while he was out of the picture.

He also mentioned she wasn't my biggest fan these days. In her mind, I was one of the numerous reasons she couldn't be together with Zander. Maybe the number one reason. My inability to accept her on the spot apology had led her to believe I didn't want them together, and she refused to think anything else. Even when Rachel and Pink pointed out that wasn't true.

This wasn't a great turn of events. The weight of disappointment was immediate. I might have been able to help Adam and his father talk, but I was thinking Kat was a lost cause. I knew I couldn't save everyone and everything here, but the thought of losing one of my best friends was a like a punch to the stomach.

"Yeah, well I'd prefer not to have the apartment flooded," my father responds darkly, and his mood is pretty crappy. "Where's Adam? What are you doing? I thought you were having lunch with…the dramatic guy. I offered him a job since his father is barely holding it together, but he said he's fine. I was a little surprised since no one ever turns me down."

I roll my eyes even though he can't see me.

"I'm sure you don't want him working for you, but that was nice. I did have lunch with him. He told me he's working with Christian. So that'll be fun." I inform him joylessly, thinking that Nikolai will redesign everything in Dauntless to his liking. "I finished eating lunch and I came here to find you. But you seem like you're leaving and…"

"I'm going to talk to Jack about Blythe. Since she went missing, they're suspecting she's hiding out in another faction."

"Is she really worth all this trouble?" I examine the ceiling again, hoping there would be some answers there.

There aren't.

"Yes. She already tried to kill you once. Wasn't that enough? Or you want her to do it again?" My father turns to look at me with one very fatherly glare –the kind hinting he knew my question wasn't a real one, because if it was, he was going to be annoyed I'd asked it. "You want Marcus to happen all over again?"

"Blythe didn't look like the kind of person who'd be wandering around in the woods," I point out, but my brilliant counter argument is lost on him. "I just…don't want to think about seeing someone else who would like me dead."

"Yeah, well get used to it."

"ERIC!"

My father's extreme sarcasm is not appreciated by my mother. She's returned from wherever she was, and she stands in the doorway, looking irritated at what he said.

"Don't tell her that! No one else wants Eva dead." She steps forward, then back when he raises his eyebrows in defense. "Blythe is…just a terrible person. But she's it. Marcus is gone and he only wanted Eva because she was with Adam. Don't make Eva think everyone is out to kill her."

My father tilts his head at her, and his expression stays bored.

"The Coulters are used to having people want them dead. You, of all people, should know this. More importantly, did you shrink my jacket? It doesn't fit right."

"Don't try to change the subject," my mother relents when she heads over to him, and she fixes the sleeve. "You have it buttoned all weird. Did you get dressed in the dark?"

"No. Where were you? I thought you said you were going to see Charlotte." My father ignores her question, and he lets her fix his jacket. He's silent while she works, fixing the collar, rebuttoning the cuffs on the sleeves, and her fingers linger as she debates whether to zip it up for him.

"I did. She's good. The babies are good. Jason was there, too. He wants to know if you're almost ready." My mother stays right in front of him, and her head comes up to the middle of his chest. He's looking down at her with a smirky grin, and he waits patiently until she looks up at him. "Do you have to go to Candor today Are you sure? Can't Four go?"

His expression changes to something tense.

"Everly, do you want me to stay home?"

He's dead serious. Despite the fact that Blythe being missing could be a security risk, the latest in what seemed like a never-ending rotation of villains vying to take what wasn't theirs, he was willing to stay here. I can see his mind whirling, thinking how he'll send someone in his place, and he won't have to go. He didn't often shirk any of his responsibilities, but every so often, he chose my mother over everything else.

It was a common theme with them.

It was well known she was the only person who ever had any pull over him. Some might try to pull authority or demand his time and attention, but at the end of the day, only she could get him to listen.

Which meant Four would get to do his job today.

"I just…" my mother stops, and she glances over at me.

Sometimes, looking at her was a lot like looking at myself. We were almost the same height, her hair was as long as mine, just as dark and shiny, and she still didn't look much older. Her dress was one I'd worn before, ending up in my closet because Carol couldn't tell who it belonged to, and it fit her the same way it fit me.

The sleeves were too long, and one side was sliding off her shoulder.

The only difference between us was she looked tired. Really tired.

"How long will you be gone? An hour?"

I look over at them, his hands now in hers, and I take this as my cue to leave. She was either not feeling great, or they'd been up all night, and now she wanted him to stay with her.

Which meant I needed to leave before I caught what she had, or before they got grossly affectionate.

"All afternoon," my father answers, and I know he's not going. He's staring at her with a very concerned expression, and my guess is he'll make her go down to the infirmary. Or he'll make Arlene come up here, along with half her staff. "Everly, are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine," she answers immediately, and she smiles at me. "Eva, are you okay? Did something happen at lunch?"

"I'm alright. I just found out Kat is mad at me for not accepting her apology during the War Games and refuses to speak to Zander. I was thinking I should go find her, but I don't know where she works." I sit up, and I decide it's time for me figure this out once and for all. "Do either of you know where her squad meets?"

They both look at me, and after a minute, they shake their heads.

"You could find Jason and ask him. He occasionally checks in on them for fun." My father looks torn. He wants to help me, but my mother wants him to stay with her. The struggle is all over his face, but totally unnecessary.

I hop off the bed and smile brightly.

"I'll go ask him. I wanted to see how Meghan is anyway."

"Meghan?" My mother looks confused, and I've forgotten no one knows she's pregnant. "Eva, don't worry too much about Kat. She'll come around. One way or another. You've been friends too long to let it come to this."

"I think I can fix it. She did apologize and I want her to know I don't care if she marries Zander." I walk over to them, and but I linger by their dresser. On top of it, pushed carefully to the back, is paperwork from my father. My grandfather's name is at the very top, and a quick glimpse shows it's a report on my attack. "I'll see you guys later. I hope you feel better."

"I'm fine!" my mother's protest is suspicious and I'm not entirely convinced. I could write it off as her missing my father. She didn't like him to be gone the same way he didn't like her to be gone, but she looks a little too exhausted for her to want him to stay home. "I've been working a lot to make sure everyone knows things are safe. When Four and Rylan were announced missing, the factions panicked. The damage control took longer than we anticipated. There's just…too much going on for me to handle all by myself."

"Are they still worried?" I look right at my mother, and her answer is a slow nod.

"It's getting better. But…it'll take some time. Blythe's disappearance doesn't help, though I'm hoping they realize she won't get very far. I don't think she can survive without her butler."

My father snickers. "She can't. The likelihood of her hanging out anywhere but her own home is pretty low. She wouldn't have the first idea how to survive anywhere but with her staff." He pauses, and his grey eyes find mine. "When you have time, make sure you put together some notes on what happened. It'll be easier to remember if you have it written down. Jack will want to hear your side of the story, and the more information you can give him, the more helpful it'll be."

"I'll work on it tonight," I promise, and I wave goodbye. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Eva," they both answer at the same time.

I leave them standing there, still debating if my father was going to leave, and I smile when I make it to the kitchen.

He wasn't going anywhere, and they both knew it.

* * *

I decide not to bother Jason.

Instead of dropping by, I text him, asking if he'd seen Kat lately. He responds instantly, saying he hasn't for a few days, but he knows which squad she's on, and they're back in a half hour. He also sends a picture of himself holding Elijah, and I come to a dead stop in the hallway. His happiness is so strong I can feel it through my phone, even more so in the second photo of Meghan holding their son. I save the pictures to my phone, and for one wild second, I fully understand just how much they love each other.

I thank him, and I promise Adam and I will come by to visit as soon as we can.

* * *

My grandfather answers on the second ring.

I must have caught him at a good time; normally it rings for a while, and I know he's either in surgery or with patients, so I don't mind. Today, he answers quickly, but it sounds like he's somewhere crowded.

"Eva! How are you?" He greets me with as much as enthusiasm as one would expect, and in the background, there's a familiar bustling noise. I decide he's at the coffee shop Adam and I had been at, and I can almost picture him standing in line. "Everything thing okay? Is your father behaving?"

"He's good. Fine, he's actually home with my mom," I answer while waiting in my own line to get coffee. I'd come down here in hopes of finding Kat, knowing there was a slim chance she'd stop by somewhere Zander liked. "She's not…I don't think she feels too good."

"Is she alright?" my grandfather's concern is loud and clear, and I know I have to be careful with what I say or he'll show up here in the next few hours. "Is she sick? There's this virus going around and…"

"I think she's just been busy and she's tired. She said the factions were panicked because Four and Rylan were announced as missing and the high alert freaked everyone out. They came back but now Blythe is…" I stop myself from saying much more, but he already knows.

"Yeah, I heard. My guess is she's at home. Camille and I were talking about going by there."

"You were?" My words are loud enough that the guy in front of me glances back slightly. "Why? I thought she hates everyone."

"Oh, she does. But she's not one to back down. If she's gone silent, everyone should be worried. This means she's planning something. She knows she'll be found guilty of attacking you. Plus, Jack is huge on conspiracy theories. He'll want to know all about how she planned everything." My grandpa is oddly cheerful, and I panic when I realize he's probably already gone looking for her.

"Grandpa, did you go to her house!" I half whisper, half yell this, because as nice as he was, I wouldn't put it past him. While he wasn't one to make rash decisions or do anything stupid, it was becoming clear the whole family was bonding together to bring her down.

"I did. She tried to harm my granddaughter. I thought the very least she could do was explain herself." He sounds grouchy now, his tone darkening as he orders coffee for him and Camille. "We went prepared. Rylan went with us. We thought she might talk but the house was dark. She's either hiding inside or she's fled the faction."

"Okay, well that doesn't sound very safe." I step forward, nearing the counter and the man with all the metal in his face. "I think my dad might not want you to do that."

"Well, he doesn't need to know. Though I'm sure Rylan told him. He stayed for a few hours after we left to do some paperwork on it. They're trying to build a case against her." He pauses, and I hear someone ask for his name. "Anyway, how are you feeling? Are you and Adam good? Recovered from your hypothermia?"

"We're really good, actually." I stall a few steps from where I'd order, and I wait while the line comes to a halt. "I was calling because…I wanted to tell you before I told anyone else…"

"He proposed, didn't he?"

My grandpa can't help himself. He blurts this out before I can finish speaking, but I can hear the grin in his voice.

"Eva?"

"He did," I smile at nothing in particular, because this was the best secret I'd ever had. "We talked about it for a while. He said we didn't have to get married anytime soon, but he wanted to ask me."

"Did you say yes?"

"I did," I laugh at the slightly demanding tone, because it sounded like he was asking me if I was taking my vitamins. "So, I don't have a date or anything, but I wanted to tell you before I told anyone-"

"A date for what?"

I nearly drop the phone when I look over to find Rylan standing right there. Gone are his neon colored outfits and mismatched shoelaces, and his official uniform has returned. He even looks extra official now, because he's glaring at me. His head is cocked to the side suspiciously, his hands are on his hips, and he's armed.

Which meant there was a chance he'd shoot me if I didn't tell him what I was talking about.

"EVANGELINA COULTER."

"I have to go, grandpa. I love you. I'll call you really soon, I promise." I hang up before my grandpa can protest, because the wrath of Rylan is far more pressing than the few scant details I have for my grandpa.

"A date for what? What are you planning? Are you and Adam…moving?" Rylan steps closer, threateningly, or as threateningly as someone can who has just been handed two coffees. "Are you…hosting a dinner? Is it a murder mystery dinner party? Am I invited?"

"No, it's…um…" I glance around frantically, hoping something will spark an idea to throw him off. It wasn't that I didn't want to tell him, but Rylan was the absolute worst at keeping secrets. I might as well ask someone to project my engagement all over the walls if I was going to reveal what I had been talking about. "We're having…a…"

"A baby?"

"No!" I step away from him, crashing into the man in front of me. To my horror, I realize it's Henry, and he looks down at me with sheer disappointment. "Sorry, I'm so sorry, Henry."

"So am I."

He looks dejected, but that's not my concern. I'm sure somewhere in this faction was someone else who was short with dark hair, and he could fall in love with her.

"Eva…" Rylan says my name warningly, and I have few precious seconds to think of what to tell him. There was a chance, a very small, microscopic chance he'd keep quiet, but that was overshadowed by his inability to control his excitement. "Tell me. Now."

"I can't." I shake my head, and I step back further. I wind up stepping on Henry's foot, and he pushes me back at Rylan.

"I'd help you…but….you know… the whole Adam being in love with you thing and you rejecting me…"

"Oh, so you finally realized that?" I turn to glare at Henry, and he makes a face. "Maybe now you can keep your shirt on whenever you come by for a coffee mug."

"You really want to be with Four's kid? He's like, a day older than you. What can he even provide for you? Is he even paying for the apartment you live in? Does he even have a job?" Henry grows irritable, having failed to secure a Coulter in his life, and he crosses his arms over his chest. "His hair is too long, by the way. It's impractical for a soldier here. Unless, he's not going to be an active soldier."

"That's none of your business," I hiss, but I don't have to worry.

Rylan, the number one godfather and all around most protective member of Dauntless, is on the case.

"You think you can dare talk about my godson like that?"

"Your godson?"

Henry and I speak at the same time, and we both look at each other.

Rylan calling Adam his godson was a stretch, considering Adam and I had barely announced anything. Or considering that Four would probably choke on whatever he was drinking if he heard Rylan making any claim to Adam.

"Yeah, you heard me. My godson. Just like a real son. Which, he could have been. Either way, no one messes with either of them." Rylan glares even harder, and his eyes flash with an idea that I hope Henry knows is a sign he should leave. "In fact, I should have you demoted. I love demoting people. Ask me how many people I've demoted in my lifetime here. I dare you."

"Whoa, look, you're the one who came after her while she was telling her grandfather they don't have a wedding date. I bet all my points here she wasn't going to tell you. We know you can't keep your mouth shut. About anything. Including your…nonbiological godson." Henry smiles smugly, and he hits the nerve that I was hoping to avoid.

Rylan shoots me one very accusatory stare, and he steps closer to me. "Is this true?"

He steps even closer, and the man with the metal in his face yells out someone's order. I'm tempted to sprint over and steal it, just to avoid answering this question.

Ultimately, I know Rylan just wants the best for me, and after spending two weeks in the woods with Four, maybe he deserves this.

"Actually, you know what? Adam did propose, and we don't have a date. And yes, I wasn't going to tell anyone except for you and my grandpa. Because…you two are the ones I trust the most! You both are great at…planning…parties." I smile widely, because it's not entirely untrue.

I did trust my grandpa, and I would have to hope Rylan could follow through with this secret now that he knew.

Plus, he did throw some fun parties.

His death count at these parties was only at one so far, but to be fair, the guy was really old. And probably shouldn't have been that close to the chasm.

"Really?" Rylan isn't as flattered as one would think, and I exhale heavily.

"Okay, well, actually we weren't going to tell anyone. I promised my grandpa I would tell him first. So I did, and I wasn't planning on telling anyone else. Even my parents don't know." I turn to look at Henry, still lingering nearby, probably trying to figure out a way to order his coffee without his shirt on. "We just wanted to keep it between us for a while. We don't even know when it'll happen. It could be a while from now. But now you know, and so does Henry."

"I'd like to be in the wedding. If you want me to keep this quiet," Henry demands, and I suddenly understand my father's dislike of him. "As the best man."

"No."

"I could stand in as the groom, in case Eaton gets cold feet," Henry offers slickly, and I stare at him with all the politeness I can muster. He stares back, his offer still there, a legitimate deal he's hoping I'll accept, and he doesn't back down.

I glare at him, hoping they make his drink decaf.

"You can…attend. How about that?"

He makes a face. "Ugh, fine. Hopefully by the time you two set a date, invite all of Dauntless, hire Quinten to cater it, pick out a dress, and realize your lives will now be incredibly public, you'll come to your senses. I could keep you away from all that."

"What do you mean incredibly public?" To my horror, I step closer to Henry, wondering what he was talking about. "I don't have to invite everyone. No one would even know-"

"Please. Your father owes it to the faction. There's no way you'll get away with not having a huge wedding. He married your mother his way the first time, but even they caved to the pressure of having a large wedding." Henry rolls his eyes, and Rylan doesn't disagree.

"Rylan?"

"He's not wrong. Eric and Everly did wind up having a big wedding. The second time around. He thought Everly deserved to have a huge party, and she did. But there was some pressure. Everyone was furious he didn't invite them the first time." Rylan recants these statements like they're facts, and he chews on his cheek for a minute. "Sorry, Eva. You might get stuck having more people there than you or Adam want. Weddings are a big deal, especially for anyone related to a leader. It'll be expected that Eric hosts a dinner for the leaders of all the other factions, and they'll all bring their families and…it could be fun!"

He sounds excited, and my plan of marrying Adam somewhere else, away from all of…that, comes crashing down.

"Either way, order your coffee because I know who you're looking for and where they are."

"You do?" I turn back to look at him, and he points dramatically.

"Go get 'em, killer. I'll keep your engagement a secret. So will Henry, or I'll let Karl use him for target practice during the next initiation."

I almost don't hear the last part of his sentence or Henry's protest, because I take off.

There, right in the doorway of the faction's darkest coffee shop, is Kat.

* * *

"Where are you working?"

It takes her a second, but eventually Kat blinks at me like she can't believe I'm asking her such a mundane question. For a fleeting moment, it is good to see her. I take in her appearance –just as crummy as everyone had been claiming, and I try to pretend I don't notice how tired she is. Or how she somehow looks sharper, less thrilled to see me than I would hope, and her eyes are dull.

Her posture solidifies my theory that she isn't happy to see me when she sinks into the seat and sighs in annoyance.

"Squad ninety-three. We head out for two weeks and return for two weeks. It's harder than I thought it would be." Her confession is honest, and hope blossoms that this means she's willing to talk. "The guys are decent. They're all…way older and they like this squad because sometimes the weeks stack up and then you get a month off. A month on will suck, but oh well. What else do I have to do?"

My hope dies when she shrugs dismissively. She reaches for one of the coffees I'd bought us, and her nails are painted a vibrant red color that matches her hair.

"What about you? Did your father pick something? Or gift you his job?"

This time, she looks right at me, and it's like looking at a stranger.

Except one who knows everything about you.

"Wait, don't tell me. You're going to work for him, but you don't actually have to do any work?" Kat continues on, and the anger is there, heavy and hurting, and I understand it. Coming from her perspective, my father would be the one to rescue me from working something like her position, and I don't fault her for thinking otherwise. "You and Adam ranked high enough. I'm sure finding something won't be hard."

"I actually haven't picked anything yet. They made us wait until they were sure we were recovered from… the attack, and by the time we got to look at the list, there wasn't much left." I hate that I sound too apologetic, like I'm making excuses for myself. "We did rank high, but we can't take the jobs from the people who took them. Nor would we want to. That's not fair."

"I guess," Kat sips the drink like she's sure I've poisoned it, and the reunion sinks to a few levels of discomfort. "Eva, I think we should just get to it. Why do you need to talk to me? I tried to talk to you weeks ago and you blew me off. What's changed?"

My eyes widen, even though I knew this was coming.

"Kat…I don't want things to be this way. When you talked to me, we were in the middle of the War Games! I wasn't…I wasn't expecting to talk about our argument then." I sit up straighter, ignoring the swarm of members sliding past us to get straws and napkins. Kat had picked the worst seat possible, one out of the way and toward the back, but it made for an easy get away should she want to stand up and run. "I was sort of blindsided you were dating my uncle. That's all. If I was dating your uncle…"

"I don't have an uncle," she snaps, and I do my best not to be frustrated.

"Okay, well if you did." I wait for her to look less furious, but it doesn't happen. "I don't care if you date Zander. I saw him when I got back and he's miserable without you. I wanted to tell you…. I think you should get back together with him."

"How kind of you," Kat answers so darkly I physically lean back. "Anything else you want to approve? Thoughts on my job? My uniform?"

"Why are you acting like this? I want you and Zander to be happy. I don't care where you work or what you do. I saw Zander when I got back and he was devastated you dumped him. I don't want you to think that I'm in the way of you guys being together. I think if you had just been honest, this wouldn't even have happened." It's my turn to snap at her, and I'm tempted to answer my phone. It's currently vibrating in front of me, and Adam's name is lit up on the screen.

It only takes a second for Kat's eyes to flash down to it, and when she looks up, her gaze is less angry.

"And you're…with him now? Really with him? All I've heard is how impressed everyone is you two survived. Even the guys I work with said they would have died in the snow." The anger dulls for just a minute, and I figure I have mere seconds before she resumes hating me.

I look at her, the girl who used to hang around just to see my dad so she could tell me how handsome he was, and I can't let things end badly between us.

"He proposed," I tell her quietly, mostly so no one else hears. "After what happened with his grandfather, he asked if I would marry him one day."

Kat is silent.

Her fingers tighten on her coffee cup, and it looks like she's trying to figure out what to say. She'll either be happy for me, or annoyed I had one thing going for me.

"Are you going to marry him?" She leans in, slowly forgetting the months of animosity and weird awkwardness. "Eva, I thought you didn't want to marry anyone! I thought you said you wouldn't get married young because your mom did and everyone assumed you would."

"I said yes. I just don't know when. I told him I didn't want to get married here, and I didn't want a huge wedding…" I trail off, and she shakes her head.

"Your parents are going to freak. Especially your dad. He's going to make sure you have the biggest wedding in the history of Dauntless." She looks at me, and the dullness from her stare is gone and replaced with the barest flicker of excitement. "Is Adam ready for this? It's always been him and his mom and dad. Does he know half of Amity is going to show up?"

"I'm not actually sure he's aware of what he's getting into," I answer, holding onto this glimmer of hope. I now know how Adam and Four must have felt, trying to navigate how the other was feeling in an attempt to reconcile. "Kat, I don't want to lose you as my friend. I want you to be there with me when I do get married. If…or when it ever happens."

The words sound foreign coming from my mouth considering my feelings on marriage, but I have to admit I like the idea of having Adam by my side forever. My mother and father had been a great example for me, proving that all marriages took work, but it would be worth it.

"Plus, I think my mother either has the plague or is pregnant." I announce, and Kat's eyes widen even further.

"WHAT!"

She shrieks loud enough that I'm sure we'll be asked to leave, and I crack up at the look on her face. Metalface also does, but then he steels himself back to indifference as he wipes down the counter near us.

"I stopped by earlier. She's really tired and pale and she asked my dad to stay home with her instead of going to Candor. He's supposed to go talk about Blythe." I reveal this in hopes she'll stay, but also because I'd come to this suspicion a few minutes ago. "She's been reported missing."

"Yeah, they advised us to look for her. They told us to report anyone who even resembles her," Kat leans forward, and she looks around to make sure no one is listening. "You really think your mom and dad will have another baby? I thought you were the end all for them?"

I roll my eyes, which is the only appropriate response to such an idea.

"I wouldn't put it past them. My dad seems kind of bored these days, and my mom looked awful. Well, not awful, but like she definitely does not feel good. It's a possibility. She's only…" I try to think of how old my mother is. "…thirty-seven."

"Oh, she's pregnant. We all know how much your father loves her. He's made the whole faction aware," Kat snickers, and our fight sort of fizzles away. "Do you remember how he'd get all cranky when she'd fall asleep when they were watching a movie? Or how he'd go on and on about how she worked too much and he never got to see her despite the fact that he was in her office all the time?"

"How could I forget?" I take a sip of my drink, and I nearly gag at the sweetness. "Shit, what is this?"

"I think you have Jason's drink. It has his name on the cup. It says he did mobile ordering," Kat answers through her laugh, and sure enough, she points to the label. "I saw him the other day and he was kind of odd. He came down to make sure everyone had returned from one of the routes with Kacie and Four, but he was super impatient. One of the trucks was late and I thought he'd lose his mind."

"He's…got a lot going on." I hope my answer is enough, because I don't want to share why he was really impatient. My guess was he was waiting for his son to be born, but his baby wasn't my news to share. "Whatever he's busy with, this drink is really gross."

"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure it's chocolate milk, nine shots of espresso, and whipped cream. Oh, and add some extra chocolate."

I set Jason's drink down far away from me, and I figure I should probably order him another one.

"I'm going to have them remake it. I can drop it off," I hesitate to stand up, and Kat must feel the same. She nods, and her shoulders slump again. "Kat, can you…. would you at least talk to Zander? He's miserable. I don't think he's doing very well."

Her stare drops to Jason's drink. She mulls this over, something still nagging at her, but she eventually meets my stare.

"He's not. I read his messages. I just can't bring myself to respond." Her fingers dig into her cup, tense and unhappy. "I feel like I ruined everything by dating him. I miss him so much, and I hate how it feels like my life is garbage. I took this job thinking I'd get away from everything, and all I do is think about how I've completely isolated myself."

"Call him, please. I know he wants to talk to you. Even if nothing comes from it, at least you'll both have some closure." I say a silent prayer there is no closure, but this brings them back together. "If you end up back with him, I'd be really happy for you both."

"Yeah, but Eva…you should have seen the look on your face when you found out…"

"I was pretty thrown off. But I learned the hard way life is short. You could die tomorrow. I want you to be happy, and if being with Zander is what makes you happy, then…I'm good with that." I finish up my sentence with a bright smile, hoping she believes me.

I wasn't lying.

After nearly being murdered in Amity, I couldn't imagine being the reason two people who wanted to be together couldn't.

"Plus, I can introduce you as my aunt. You have no idea how jealous Rylan will be that you're actually a member of the family."

It takes a whole minute, three yelled out coffee orders, and two more phone calls form Adam but Kat finally smiles, really smiles, and the remaining anger she's been holding onto is gone. "So, we're officially friends again? You really forgive me for not talking to you?"

"If you forgive me for not accepting this right away," I smile back. "And if everything works out the way I think it will, we won't just be friends. We'll be family. Literally."

She looks down, nodding her head, and I can feel her relief.

It might not have been what either of us were expecting, but this was far better than how things had been. I didn't want Kat to hate me, I didn't hate her, and I wanted her and Zander to be happy. Even more so, I wanted her to feel safe and loved, and more than welcome as part of the family.

Things were changing quickly, and this felt like the start of a brand new beginning.

And if I had to guess, I had a feeling she and Zander would be married the second they got back together.

* * *

"So you're good now? You and Kat?"

Adam mumbles the words against my hair. He's watching something on the large screen mounted to the wall in our bedroom, and I'm half watching it. It's pretty gory; the people on the screen have come back to life to terrorize the living, and a small group is doing their best to survive. Adam seems to like the show, but I find it annoying.

Especially every time I think someone is dead and they get right back up.

"Yeah, we talked for a little while. I told her I'm fine with her being with Zander, even though she shouldn't be waiting on my opinion. But I think she needed to hear I was okay, because she said she'd call Zander. I don't want them to stay apart just because of me. Oh, and she works some really shitty route. They're gone for two weeks at a time."

"Sounds…awful." Adam answers, but he's distracted.

His attention isn't entirely on the show, but on my hand. He holds up my fingers, examining them one by one, and he only stops when I look up at him. The position is awkward, but he grins down at me.

"What?"

"Do you want a big wedding?" My question comes out of nowhere, but I've been thinking about this off and on all night. There was a chance he might, but since he'd grown up with less family members in his business, my guess was he'd prefer something smaller. "Or do you want just our family?"

"Are you asking because you spent all day thinking about marrying me?" Adam says this teasingly, but he's not wrong. "Which is funny since you said you want to wait…"

"I had to tell Rylan," I confess, and Adam's head knocks into mine in either surprise or horror at this news. "He sort of overheard me talking to my grandpa and I couldn't _not_ tell him. He'd be devastated to find out he was left out of the secret."

"I don't care if you tell anyone," Adam answers, and he adjusts himself behind me. I can't tell if he wants a better view of the living dead, or he just wants me closer to him. "We could get married tonight. I was going with whatever you said."

"Tonight?" I turn to look at him, and he shrugs. His hair falls into his forehead, obscuring his vision until he shakes it away. "How?"

The smile on his face is slow and smug. He opens his mouth to answer me, clearly having an answer to this important question, but he doesn't get the chance.

An alarm goes off on both our phones, blaring and loud and at full volume. When we glance over at it, the screen is lit up with sheer brightness, and dark words announcing that all factions are being shut down immediately.


	33. Chapter 33

Thank you SO much to **Bamberlee** for editing this final chapter!

Just a note: I meant to wrap everything up in this chapter, however once I did, it's clear that nothing was actually wrapped up. So there will possibly be an epilogue after this one. I'm just not totally sure. We'll see how this goes.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I'm so happy everyone enjoyed this story and I can not believe we made it this far.

Thanks for following along! 💙

You can also read Eric meeting Everly in Amity if you need something to pass your Quarantine time with. Stay safe everyone!

* * *

"I said I was sorry."

Rylan apologizes, but it comes across as anything but. He's sitting across from Adam and me, looking tired and wild, but also pretty indifferent.

"I hit the wrong security alert. I meant to say, all factions are now shutting down travel. I didn't mean shutting down completely." He kicks his feet up onto my father's coffee table, and boldly ignores his glare. "I doubt anyone noticed."

"Every faction noticed!" My father roars, looking like his head might explode. "You shut down every single faction. Jack has called thirty-seven times. Thirty-eight, because he's calling right now. Cara has been texting me for an hour. Harrison is about to drive over here, even though you told everyone they couldn't, because he can't get ahold of anyone…"

"I'll call him," my mother offers, looking just as tired as Rylan. "I'll tell him it's not happening and he's fine."

"Too late. I'm sure he's almost here," my father groans, and it's not that my grandpa would be showing up, but that Rylan's mistake is cutting into his free time with my mother. "He's convinced something is going on."

"Something _is _going on. Maybe everyone should stay home." Rylan scowls, and he looks over to Adam and me. "Are you two laughing?"

"Um, kind of." Adam answers for us, and he glances over at me, doing my best not to laugh.

Things in Dauntless were not going so well.

A half hour ago, Adam and I had been talking about getting married. Maybe even tonight, just the two of us, without anyone else there. That came crashing down when it was announced the faction was in lock down, and when no one answered either of our calls, we went straight to the source.

My father answered the door in his boxers and a t-shirt, and the look on his face told me the shut down was a surprise to him as well.

Over the next hour, I learned a lot. He told me he never went to Candor, but Jason did. Turns out, Jason and Four had worked hard to compile everything they had on Blythe. Rylan had countless files on her and all sorts of evidence revealing she had long been trying to take my mother down, and I was her newest target. This evidence was organized to the best of their ability and then brought to Jack. Four was determined to help right this, and he told my father both he and Jason watched the precise moment Jack realized he'd handed Blythe the exact people she was looking for.

People convicted of crimes who were willing to make it appear they would do anything to change, only to realize Blythe would allow them to carry on with their terrible selves. She wasn't rehabilitating them to send back to the factions, she was slowly building a team around herself who would willingly carry out her orders.

Jeremy had been one of the first.

Peter was hopefully one of the last.

There was a loose connection there, but no time to solve the mystery. Because during this discovery, Jack also realized my father's security alerts about Blythe weren't just him extoling revenge on her for being a shitty parent.

They were because she was dangerous.

Manipulative.

Smart enough to have vanished while everyone slowly figured out who she was.

They called Rylan to have him reduce the travel between factions to deliveries only in hopes of finding her, and instead, he took it a step further.

"Maybe we should reset everything." Adam suggests, struggling not to laugh. "Has anyone tried turning Rylan off then on again?"

"That would be Christina's job," my father mutters, visibly growing more and more stressed as the seconds passed.

"She's busy right now," Rylan cheerfully answers, and he lounges against the couch. "Everyone should relax. Wrong security alert, no biggie. In the morning, we announce things are fine. We tell everyone the real security alert is-"

"Who the hell is running things around here?"

Our descent into chaos dips a level lower as my father's front door flies open. He must have forgotten to lock it after he let us in, because there's a sudden parade arriving, one after the other, all dressed in black.

There is my grandfather, dressed in such dark colors he looks like he lives here, and my grandmother, holding Ginger and beaming as they spy my mother leaning against my father. My mother hadn't bothered to get dressed past her leggings and my father's shirt, and she still looks like she'd rather be in bed than out here. Her eyes widen in surprise, and she sits up straight when Karl and Jason, both dressed not in their uniforms, but in black, also show up.

There are a few more.

Ethan and Evan, heading straight for my father, and Quinten, having shown up at the same time with Rylan's dinner. The noise is immediate, roaring higher and higher as everyone tries to figure out what is going on.

"Everly!"

"Mom? Dad?"

"ERIC! PICK ME UP!"

"No, PICK ME UP!"

"Rylan, your waffles are here. Three orders. Syrup's in the bag."

"Wait, whose…"

"Did no one invite me to this? I heard Ethan and Evan yelling, and when I looked out the door, everyone was heading this way." Four arrives looking confused. He eyes Adam and me, my mother hugging her father, my grandmother staring at him with an odd look on her face, and my father rolls his eyes and gestures for him to come in.

"You're not missing much. Rylan decided to shut down the entire world today and this made everyone choose to come to my apartment."

"Rylan, we already talked about this," Four sighs, but he glances back over at Adam and me. "When we were in Amity. You talked about what you would do if you had total control over the factions, and you said you'd make everyone stay home so you could have a day off."

"You know, I think you might have been hallucinating. I said _I'd_ stay home," Rylan counters, emphasizing the I. Their talking grows louder, Four reminding him he'd said he'd had enough and wanted a week off, until Rylan nearly leaps off the couch.

"Wait, everyone shut up. Forget about the lockdown. Jason, did you steal a baby?" Rylan speaks the loudest. Everyone stops talking when he tilts his head and sits up straighter. "Wait, no, fuck! Is that…your child?"

"He is! I wanted to bring him by once I knew everyone would be here!" Jason grins, unbothered by both the chaos and the factions shutting down. He doesn't seem to even notice my parents aren't dressed, that my mother is definitely not as alright as she claimed, my grandfather is suspiciously inspecting my mother like she's about to fall off the couch, my grandmother is right beside him, looking at Elijah while Ginger yells BABY, or that Ethan and Evan are demanding for my father to give them his phone. "I wanted to bring him to a meeting, but this is better. His name is Elijah."

"You didn't tell any of us you were having a baby?" My father looks mildly insulted, but then he shrugs. "Damn. You're good. Everly and I tried not to tell anyone when we had Eva and it got out pretty quick."

"I just talked to Meghan! She said she was fine and going to take a nap!" My mother looks a little more insulted, but it fades the minute Jason heads over and holds Elijah out for her to take. "Oh, Jason. He's precious."

The room quiets down to a lesser decibel when Jason sits by my dad. My father congratulates him, not only on his baby, but for his brilliant plan of secrecy. Above all, my father loved his privacy and keeping people out of his business, and for once, someone out did him. My grandmother and grandfather sit by Adam and me, and Ginger immediately heads for Adam's lap.

He picks her up, and she leans back against his chest, content to yell BABY from this vantage point.

"We came as soon as we heard everyone was in lockdown," my grandfather explains, also congratulating Jason. "The kid is cute. I'll give you that."

"That's pretty much the opposite of what you do in a lockdown," Rylan answers, but he looks like he's trying not to laugh. He balances his waffles on his knee, and my father silently dares him to get syrup on his couch. "Anyway, false alarm. We just don't want anyone out there until we find Blythe. So, semi lockdown."

"Rylan, do you and Christina want a baby?" Karl sits by Rylan, and Rylan is rewarded with Ethan immediately making a beeline toward him. "Are you ever going to have one?"

"I don't think Christina wants to birth any children. She was just yelling at me the other day for bringing cookies home. Said she'd already been to the gym once that day," Rylan waves dismissively. "Maybe she'll go for a pet wolf."

"There are no wolves out here," my grandfather rolls his eyes, and looks at Jason. "Is he going to pick Dauntless when he's old enough? I see he's dressed in black."

"Of course he is!" Jason looks enthused, and next to me, Adam hits my arm with his.

"I vaguely remember this happening when you were born. Your dad swore you'd never leave."

"You do not remember that. You were like, two weeks old." I elbow him back, and we both listen to Rylan tell Karl he doesn't think the world is ready for him to have a baby.

"Oh," Karl looks oddly bummed out, though he was still winning the award for family with the most children. "Alright. I mean, I guess. You did just shut everything down. Maybe you shouldn't have kids just yet."

"But I'm not opposed to stealing a child. If I decide I want one," Rylan answers casually, and he winks at me. "Or I could just continue as head Godfather over everyone else's children."

"You can't steal a child, Rylan." My grandfather shakes his head, but then he stops. "I guess you could if you found a factionless one."

"Thank you, HARRISON, for understanding my vision." Rylan falls silent, but only for a second. My mother gestures for him to come see Elijah, and she beams when he does. He walks over, slowly, first making sure his waffles don't fall off the couch, then taking Elijah and smiling at him. "Allow me to introduce myself, tiny child. I, Rylan, am the greatest leader who has ever been in power. Eric is second. He enjoys long walks in the dark, sarcasm, pretending things are way worse than they are, and not telling anyone he's married unless they're trying to steal his wife. Your father is third. Four, is understandably, fourth. Karl is before Four but after Jason. Three point five. Over there is Harrison, Supreme Leader of Amity, where you will never step foot."

"Hey, he can go to Amity. We've had some fun there. Remember that time a chicken bit you?" Jason laughs at Rylan, but he stops laughing when Rylan holds Elijah high over his head with his arms outstretched. "RYLAN! Put him down!"

"Never. This would be better by the chasm, but this will have to do."

"Rylan," my grandfather threatens him, but Rylan ignores him. He turns to face us all, holding Jason's brand-new baby over his head, and he grins.

Widely.

"Welcome, Elijah…to Jurassic Park!"

* * *

"So is Rylan banned from ever holding Elijah again or what?"

Adam and I sit with my parents, and my mother laughs so hard she chokes on her drink. My father eyes her warily, probably afraid she'll die and leave him to stalk the hallways alone, so he pulls her against him when she stops and makes sure she's alright.

"Probably. I'm sure Rylan meant…well." He keeps a straight face, but he looks over us into his kitchen. "Eden, come sit down. I don't even know what you're doing."

"I'm looking for something for Ginger. She said she's thirsty. Do you have any rice milk?" My grandmother answers cheerfully, despite the increasingly late hour, and my father tilts his head.

"Rice…milk?"

"Would it be by the apples?" she keeps talking, ignoring his dark expression and insult at thinking he would drink such a thing.

"We don't have anything of the sort here. We have actual milk," he responds, and my mother shakes her head. "I can call Quinten. He might have it."

"Doubtful," my grandpa takes the seat across from us and by my mother. He waits for my grandma to join him, and he looks at Adam and me. "Where do you two live? You're really sticking around this dump?"

"We have an apartment down the hallway," Adam answers, and I watch my grandfather struggle not to scowl at this information. Even though he asked. "Do you want to come see it? It's nice."

"Is there a window? A patio? Any way to get fresh air?"

"Um," Adam looks down at me, and I shake my head. "Not really. But we can go outside."

"Sure, sure you can." My grandpa waves this answer away, and shrugs. "Everly, are you alright? You look like you're going to throw up."

"I'm fine, I'm just really tired. I was sleeping when Rylan decided to shut down the faction, and there was no way I could sleep with everyone here." She answers quietly, and I try to figure out if I think she's pregnant or not. My father's shirt is too large for her, and it's so long she could wear it as a dress if she tried. "But I'm glad I got up. I would have been mad if I missed Jason's baby."

"Who would have thought?" My father leans back, pulling her even closer. He glances down at her head, not satisfied with her being a single centimeter away from him. "Harrison how long are you staying?"

"Not long. Ginger should be going to bed soon, but we were babysitting and thought we'd bring her with us. We should get her home soon before everyone wonders where she went."

"You should. I'm pretty sure Holly will freak when she realizes you aren't home and neither is her baby." My mom laughs, then yawns. "Can you come back later this week? When things settle down?"

"Of course we can," my grandma smiles, and she returns with a glass of regular milk for Ginger. Ginger stares at it suspiciously, then looks up at Adam and shakes her head no. "Okay, well then you'll have to wait until we're home."

"No."

"Do you want me to call Quinten?" My father watches Ginger, and his head tilts as he examines her. From everything I'd ever heard, he'd softened a lot toward his now family in Amity. While he used to find them loud and way too numerous for someone who'd lived his life as an only child, they'd grown on him. He willingly went whenever my mother asked, and he had multiple nieces and nephews who idolized him. "I could make her some coffee."

"She can't have coffee," my mother laughs, and she swats his arm. "You know that. Do you want Holly to be up all night?"

"Yes. If I have to be up, so does everyone else."

"No, you don't. You like Holly. She sent cookies for your birthday." She reasons with him, and his expression tells me he's pretending she didn't. "Oh, and that oil that cured your cold. Remember? You refused and then you finally let me put it on you and you felt way better."

"You know what? You can sleep in the guest room tonight." My father's answer makes everyone snicker, especially my mom.

"Have fun by yourself." She smiles sweetly, looking up at him.

"Oh, I will." He retorts pettily, but he's smiling. "But I should probably let all the factions know they aren't in lockdown. I doubt Rylan will do it. He went to Jason's which means Meghan is in for an earful."

"I'll go with you," my mom stands up, but her stare lingers on Adam and me. "Are you guys staying or are you going home?"

"We'll go home. We just came by to see what was going on," I answer quickly and Adam nods.

"Who knew it was Rylan, wanting some time off?"

"Oh, he'll get some time off. I think Blythe pushed him over the edge." My father watches as my grandpa and grandma stand up, and they move to hug us goodbye. "I'll tell Christina to keep him busy for a few days."

"Do you want to come by?" I ask my grandpa hopefully, but part of me hopes he says no. It was hard to explain why we hadn't returned to Amity, or why we hadn't made plans to move there. "You could see the apartment."

"I lived in these apartments," he winks. "I'll come by next week. You two go home and enjoy yourselves. We should get Ginger home before Holly panics. When I come back, you can show me where you two live and we'll talk then."

He hugs me first, crushing me against him and squeezing tightly. He hugs Adam next, just as tight and just as fierce. I can see my father watching him with a horrified expression, and he meets my stare. I'm sure he's flashing back to making me promise to pick Dauntless, our conversation in the kitchen while I made toast, but he knows my grandfather is persuasive.

After all, he'd once chosen Dauntless, then walked away to be with my grandmother.

"I'll see you both in a week. Everly, let me know how your doctor's appointment goes. I'd like to be around this time." He announces this brightly, and everyone turns to look at my mother. "I was barely here when Eva was little."

My mother opens her mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. She sits on the couch with her feet curled beneath her, her long hair everywhere, and my father's shirt sliding off her shoulder, and she looks at all of us.

Her face is pale, but happy, and her expression is of pure and total guilt.

"Um, okay."

She swallows, and her eyes find mine, wide and worried and afraid, even though I only sort of know what he's talking about.

"I'll call you and uh let you know."

She makes no move to stand up, and when she looks at my father, I have the answer to my question.

She's most definitely pregnant, and it most definitely was not planned.

* * *

"Is this new baby to replace me?"

This time, my father sits on my bed.

He's busied himself with fixing something on my phone while I put clothes away but he slowly raises his stare from the black screen to look at me.

"Is that a serious question?" His tone is dark, and if I were a random soldier here, I'd slink away, knowing he was short on patience. "Is that what you really think, Eva?"

"Actually yes. I don't live with you. I'm not there anymore. You know this baby and I will be almost nineteen years apart, right?" I pick up Adam's shirt, neatly folded and perfectly smoothed out, and I stare at him through the mirror. "It won't even know me."

"It's not…this isn't what you think it is," my father mutters, and he gives up trying to update whatever he was updating. "No one will ever replace you. We weren't planning on having another child. Your mother always said she was lost in a sea of kids and I never had any brothers or sisters."

"You had Rylan," I point out, feeling oddly sulky. "Isn't he like a brother?"

"Yes. Which, again, is why we only had you." He tries something on the phone again, and this time, it lights up. "She's due in less than two months. She hasn't felt good this entire time, and she's tried to keep working, and then you and Adam went missing and she didn't handle that well. It hasn't been an enjoyable experience."

There's a flash of guilt from both of us, and I turn to face him.

"Is the baby a boy or a girl?"

I don't know why this is important.

Just that it is.

Because in the span of a few hours, the loosely constructed outline for my life came crashing down.

After we'd left my parent's house, Adam and I had walked home, but we'd gone the long way. We walked all the way to the furthest point of Dauntless, down dizzying stairs that spiraled and moved when you stepped on them. We walked over rocky bridges, crumbling alcoves, past walls made of slick marble and through areas with ceilings so high you couldn't see them. We walked beneath security cameras, some working, some not. We passed Zander, sitting up high on a suspension bridge with Kat, engrossed in a conversation meant for only them. We walked by the shops, brightly lit up to attract customers and offering all sorts of unique items. We walked to the docking bay, the front of the Dauntless compound, and we stopped at the chasm.

Once we were there, Adam took hold of my hands, looking right at me, and blurted out that he didn't want to leave.

I sort of knew this was coming, and I fully expected him to tell me at some point, I just didn't know why it would throw me off.

Maybe because I was assuming we'd leave, and start a new life with just us. Amity had been the first place where it was just him and me. Amity was good. It was bright and kind and fun. I had enough family to fill the entire faction, all willing to take us in and all wanting us to pick them. We could live at my grandparent's. My uncle's. We could have our own home. We could reside in communal living, joining a thriving group of farming people who didn't need privacy.

We could live anywhere we wanted, and do whatever we wanted, but in that moment, it was incredibly clear this was our home.

In front of jagged, sharp rocks, Adam could barely look at me. He was rarely afraid; he might have panicked at his grandfather trying to kill him, and stumbled over his words while trying to tell me how he felt, but he looked downright fearful when he told me he wanted to stay here, after promising he'd go with me wherever I wanted.

I understood.

It was his father.

They had made huge strides in their relationship in a small amount of time. Four had said goodnight to us, offered to come have lunch if we were up for it, and jokingly said maybe Adam could fill in for Rylan. Or Jason. Then told him he should think about it, for real. There was a lot of promise with this, and not just because Jason made it clear he was taking some time off and Rylan obviously needed a break from overseeing anything.

Four wanted Adam to stay, to try and fix their fractured relationship, and Adam wanted the same.

I saw the hope blossom on both their faces. Working together wouldn't be something most fathers and sons would hope for. There was a chance that Four would learn too much about him or try to get too close, and Adam didn't like anyone in his business. But they weren't particularly close, and this would be a chance for some normalcy between them.

The only tricky part was our relationship. After asking if I'd marry him, he was now asking that I stay here.

I hadn't outright asked him to move anywhere, but I had been so confident that Dauntless was no longer my home, that his words felt like a punch to the stomach. I stared up at him, his gaze pleading and apologetic and all too familiar, and I couldn't answer him.

This decision was something I never thought I'd face. I didn't want to live in Amity without him, but I didn't want to live here, feeling like an afterthought.

It didn't take long for me to realize I was being selfish. Adam had every right to want to make things better with his family. I wanted him to. Not long ago, I had vowed to fix things however I could, because I wanted him to be happy. Which meant if he wanted to stay, then I should stay, and I wouldn't be thinking how this made me feel nauseous.

The rest of our night was tense.

I told him we should go home, and he nodded. He held my hand while we walked, and each of us were lost in our own thoughts. Neither of us spoke, not until we got home, and he said my name, right as Henry appeared. He was returning from the shops, his arms full of bags and groceries, and I scowled until he stomped past us, cheerfully saying to call him if we needed anything.

We went to bed not long after, and this morning, Adam woke up and announced he was going to breakfast with Gunner and Aja and he'd be back later.

My father had shown up seconds after he left, demanding to install some update on my phone, and I let him.

I was too busy wallowing in my own weird feelings. I didn't like them, because I felt like I was being replaced in every aspect. Adam would reconnect with his family, and since his father had never really been thrilled about me, there was the odd chance Adam would start to feel the same way. My parents were having a baby, an act that felt surreal and almost nightmarish, because I'd be losing them.

My father wouldn't have any time for me, if he'd been up all night with a baby.

I was right back to square one.

"We didn't find out. They couldn't tell when we went." My father's answer is slow and jarring. "Whatever the baby is, it'll never replace you. You were…you were the first person I've ever loved besides your mother."

I shrug.

He knows I'm dismissing him, and given his current mood, it's likely he's going to tell me to knock it off.

Instead, he puts the phone aside and stands up.

"Eva…"

"Adam wants to stay here. And I don't know why, but it's making me feel like everyone is moving on and I'm not. I should be happy to stay here. Or not stay here. I don't know."

I drop Adam's shirt, and my father is in front of me before I can pick it up. He hugs me, the kind of hug where I can neither breathe nor see, but it doesn't matter because my eyes are burning and I don't want him to have another child. I don't want him to be taken away from me, because he's my father, and everything is falling apart.

"No one, not even another child, will ever replace you. I never even thought I'd have you. If you knew who I was before you, you wouldn't think any of this was possible."

He says the words into my hair, one hand pressing on my back, and I nod. His shirt is warm, the dark fabric familiar as ever, and I rest my head there while he talks.

"I promise we'll never ask you to babysit. And we'll still see you all the time. You live down the hallway. You'll always be my favorite because the new baby probably will keep me up all night and you let me sleep and…"

I don't hear the rest.

I shut my eyes, forcing myself to calm down, and I realize I can't leave.

I couldn't leave him, the still angriest yet not really angriest leader in Dauntless, or my mother. I couldn't go live somewhere else because I was suddenly having a rough time, and Amity was an escape from that. I couldn't leave any of them. Not my godfather, my other godfather, not my parents, not Zander, not Adam.

Not even my younger brother or sister who was about to be born before I'd even picked a job here.

"Will you tell me when you find out? Are you going to name the baby something that starts with an E?" I lift my head away from my father, and for the first time all night, things feel a little better. My world doesn't seem so bleak, and the amplified agony of not being an only child lessens. "What if you have another girl and-"

"I'm pretty sure it's a boy," my father looks down, smiling and shrugging, and his expression is concerned. "We didn't tell you because…I didn't know up until a month ago. I thought your mother didn't feel good because she was tired. There was a minute when I thought she was pregnant, but she told me to mind my own business and leave her alone. I should have known then. Harrison figured it out before me. She went to see her mom and Eden guessed. The two of them kept quiet until she decided I should know. She thought I'd be upset."

He huffs at this memory and shakes his head.

"She didn't want you to think exactly what you're thinking. She's been agonizing over this for a long time."

I wipe at my eyes with the back of my hand, and I feel stupid for being upset. "I'm sorry. I'm really not upset. It's just…Adam doesn't want to leave Dauntless and I thought maybe we would. I thought it would be cool to live somewhere else and maybe…maybe that's what we needed. Everything is different all over again."

Luckily for me, my father understands.

"Amity is very tempting, I know." He pauses, but he doesn't let go of me. "It's nice, I get it. Quiet. Lots of space. If living there made you happy, then…I'd fully support you. But I want you here. Your mother wants you here. I know Four and Tris want Adam to stay, though they'd probably be happy to take a break and go visit you two."

"He told me he couldn't leave. He said his dad offered him a job and he's thinking about taking it." I try to remember his exact words, but I'd been standing there, not sure what I was hearing. "He once told me he was hoping I'd ask him to go to another faction with me. I thought after everything we went through, Amity would be it. Then, he changes his mind, and tells me he understands if I don't want to."

"Here's the thing, and please tell me you two are fine before I go find him and make him make things be fine. You're thinking about the best part of Amity and why you two liked it there. It doesn't matter where you live, it's that you're together. So before you think things are shitty because he's changed his mind about where you should live, just…know this was probably hard for him. He's stuck between fixing a situation he's dealt with his entire life, and what he thinks you want. I would bet he's just as stressed as you are."

"I don't even know what I want," I confess, and he doesn't look surprised.

"You don't have to figure it out now. Stay here, Eva. You and Adam are young. You have plenty of time to live wherever you want. I know you've been struggling over where to work, but…don't tell her I told you. Your mother is going to offer you her job. Once she has the baby, she won't be going back. I don't need her dragging Eric Jr. from faction to faction for a lunch meeting."

"Are you really naming the baby after yourself?" I crack a grin, because he looks smug. "It's a boy, isn't it? Omg, is it going to be like Ethan and Evan?"

"No. He'll sleep through the night because I'm too old to not get eight hours of sleep." My father finally lets go of me, and he smiles. "He can be friends with Elijah. And Karl's second wave of children. And whatever child Rylan steals."

"Are you really going to let him steal a baby?" I raise my eyebrow at my dad, knowing there was a chance Rylan would try this now that he had my grandfather's permission. "Dad?"

"No, he's not stealing anyone's baby. He's busy watching some show Jason gave him. Something about life in an office. He said he can relate." He waits for me to think this over, but he glances at his own phone, currently ringing from the bed. "That's probably him. I told him to call me once the shutdown order was reversed."

"I love you," I tell him, feeling a thousand times better. "Do you promise me you won't forget about me? Especially if the new baby is better than I was?"

"Eva," my dad shakes his head, and his smile is all knowing. "Trust me. No baby will ever be better than you. I promise."

I smile back, and suddenly, things aren't so bad.

Adam and I could stay here.

We could still get married, maybe even in secret, and we'd both have jobs.

They'd come with a lot of changes, including a little brother who I never asked for, but all of this feels way better than how I'd been feeling.

* * *

Despite my winning new attitude, the next few days are rough.

Adam avoids me like I've got the plague.

I don't even get the chance to tell him I'm fine staying here, because realistically, moving factions or disappearing probably wasn't the best idea. We'd gotten a preview of how well our parents handled us going missing, and they were even less likely to tolerate us announcing we weren't staying here. I didn't even know how you changed factions after picking one, or if you could, but I'd decided there was no point. The two of us could go to Amity any time we wanted. I could always call my grandpa and ask to come visit, and he'd probably start building me somewhere to live, close to him and my grandma, just in case we changed our minds.

I'd come to terms with this decision easily, feeling far better after talking to my father.

The thought of having a job was great, and knowing it was an important job was even better.

The only crappy part was Adam skating around even looking at me. He was gone, off with who I could only assume were his friends, and he came home once he figured I'd be asleep. I tried staying up late, hoping to catch him coming in the door so we could talk, but it never worked. I sat on the couch waiting for him, and I woke up in bed.

By Friday, I've had enough.

I send him a message to meet me on the roof, and I hint it's important.

It takes him a whole hour to respond, and his single word reply of _ok_ makes my heart sink.

* * *

I kill time by trying to get my mother to tell me she's pregnant.

I'm sure she's already talked to my father since he left my apartment, but when I stop by to see her, it takes her forever to even notice I've walked in. I find her in the kitchen, struggling to put the glasses away on the shelf my father liked them. I stare at her in hopes of seeing something that hints she's pregnant, but her dress is too poufy for me to tell. She's barefoot, and she rises up on her toes to try and shove the glass further back.

The loud clink isn't reassuring at all.

"Is dad here? Why doesn't he just help you?"

She startles, clearly not having heard me come in, and her eyes are wide when she turns around.

"Eva! I didn't know you were here!" She pauses, regaining her grip on the wine glass that she most certainly wasn't drinking wine out of, and tries not to look guilty. "He's at work. He said he'd be home for lunch, but I was trying to finish this before he got back. What are you doing here?"

She looks me up and down, suspiciously, and I look her up and down.

"Where's Adam?"

"He's…with his friends. He's sort of…avoiding me, I guess."

I eye her warily, wondering if Christian was designing her outfits to hide her pregnancy. Meghan had looked pregnant when I saw her, but my mother doesn't. The skirt of her dress hits her shins, and the sleeves are too long. She looks the same as she always does, except pale and really tired, like she might fall asleep standing up.

"Oh yeah. Tris said he's afraid he's ruined everything with you," my mother gives up pretending she's any taller than she is, and she sets the last glass on the counter. "He told her he wants to stay here and work with Four. After making it seem like he wanted you two to move somewhere else."

"He told me the same thing," I answer, and I shrug. "I'm honestly fine with it…. I think."

"Your grandfather was so sure you were moving to live in Amity." She looks at me and crosses her arms over her chest. Her dress is pretty, sort of off her shoulders and scrunched across the top, and I realize she's picked it out strategically. "He told me he'd look out for you and Adam if you did. That way I wouldn't worry while you were gone from here."

While usually strong and never afraid of much, this time, her voice wavers.

"Were you guys really going to leave?"

"I wanted to, at one point. I just liked the idea of living somewhere with Adam. Away from everyone else." My answer sounds juvenile to me, but it was how I felt, and I fully accepted this. "It's because I knew he loved me in Amity and I was afraid it wouldn't be the same in Dauntless. Things feel different here."

My mother contemplates this. She chews on her lip for a moment, like she's suddenly remembering something, but she finally nods.

"I know that feeling completely. But trust me. You'll be fine wherever you live. Adam is still in love with you! Right?" She uncrosses her arms and she's in front of me the same way my father was. "Right? Or no? Did something happen?"

"I haven't really seen him. I just…he told me he wanted to stay here, and I told him we should go home. Since then, he's been gone. So maybe I'm the one who ruined it." I shake my head, refusing to let myself sink into the fear of what could happen. "Four has never really liked me so it probably won't be long before he-"

"Oh no," my mother cuts me off, and her expression is one of sheer determination. "Don't even start. Four has been through hell and back over this Adam thing, and he knows that if he fucks with the only thing Adam enjoys in life –you—then Adam will never forgive him. He'd rather risk his son moving away and occasionally calling to say hello than dare try and convince him to stay and date someone else. Adam made it perfectly clear to Four that they can talk about whatever, but you're off limits."

"Really?" I scoff, not at all believing her. "Adam has been gone since…I don't know, this morning? He's barely talked to me all week. He's…"

"He's going to marry you in a few days." My mother blurts out, and her eyes widen. She throws her hands up to cover her mouth and she swears, frantically shrieking as though the kitchen is on fire. "Shit, shit, SHIT! I wasn't supposed to say anything! Oh shit, Eva! You didn't hear that! I'm sorry! I keep saying stuff that I shouldn't! I told your father his haircut looked bad and I didn't even mean it! Just…forget what I said!"

I stare at her, horrified and panicky, and she stares back pleadingly.

"Just…you didn't hear me, okay!"

"I heard it! What do you mean he's going to marry me in a few days? Wouldn't this be something I need to know?" I shriek right back at her, and we're both lucky my father isn't here, because he hated shrieking. "Why are you keeping all these secrets from me! You didn't even tell me you were pregnant! And dad's hair looked fine. What are you talking about?"

To her credit, she immediately looks remorseful.

"Eva, I am so sorry. I didn't tell anyone. Not even your father. He only found out because Rylan noticed I went to see Arlene without him, and she had forgotten she was supposed to re-ban him from hacking into her files. Then, I was really sick and I didn't feel good and your dad kept getting closer and closer and then one day he smelled weird, like gasoline or something and I almost threw up. I finally told him when I was almost seven months pregnant. And I said the thing about his hair because he ate the last donut and I wanted it. And Quinten wasn't going to make any more." My mother finishes with a huge exaggerated sigh. "When I was pregnant with you, I didn't have any of this. I just was really tired. This pregnancy is making me insane."

"Where are you pregnant?" I glance at her dress, wondering if I'm missing something. "You don't look pregnant. And you were insulted about Meghan being pregnant and not telling anyone."

"I know. I was just thinking we could have been pregnant together! Last time, Tris and I were pregnant at the same time. This time, it was just me, and the only other person who knew was…Arlene." She makes a face but reaches down to press her hands on the dress. A second later, with the fabric pushed flat, she's visibly pregnant. She doesn't look anything like Meghan did, but maybe she's not as far along. "It took your dad a long time to notice. I just kept his shirts on and- "

"Gross." I answer, horrified and completely not wanting to hear this. I hold my hand up for her to stop, so she doesn't make me throw up. "Don't say anything else. You're pregnant and you two are still gross and I guess I'll have to be the one to warn my little brother that you're both weird."

"We aren't weird," she answers defensively, and she lets go of her dress. "Your father thinks he's a boy, too."

"Is he?"

"I don't know! I wanted to find out. Last time, I didn't find out and I thought you were a boy. This time, I wanted to find out, and they couldn't tell me." She looks mildly annoyed, but then her expression changes to excitement. "Forget about all that. The baby will show up when he's ready to show up. We have other things to worry about. Like, for starters, you have to pick out a dress. Adam is going to ask you to go to dinner in a few days. I can help you do your hair. He planned something really small, and everyone has been sworn to secrecy."

"He doesn't want me help with any of this?" I debate calling him, but my mother shakes her head when she sees me reach for my phone. "No?

"You can't. Not only is he really excited about doing this for you, and, let's be real, he's trying to make you stay with him. He's convinced you want to leave but you won't if you're married. Your father suggested he just not even tell you. Just have you sign some papers and claim it's for work." She smiles, looking mildly impressed. "I told him no. It worked for him but his own daughter should know she's getting married."

"What if I don't want to?" I watch her smile drop as her expression turns to pure horror. She waits for me to say something else, and I shrug. "What if I don't want to get married this week?"

"Eva! You don't want to marry him?"

I let her think this over, slow panic crossing her face, and I wait until she looks all too nervous.

"No, I do. But that's payback for not telling me you're pregnant!"

"That's not funny!" She reaches over to slap my arm, but she's not mad. "You really made me freak out for a second."

"Welcome to my world," I roll my eyes. "Okay, so I guess…if I'm getting married and I'm not supposed to know, I should go pick something out? Will I know for sure when he asks me?"

"Yes! But Christian already sent like, four hundred things for you to pick from. You can try them on here, and then, um, I'll bring it over on the day he asks. He'll never know. I'll have your dad invite him to go get a haircut or something."

"Okay," I answer, still not entirely convinced. "Why is he planning this? I thought…we were saying it should just be him and I…"

"Because he loves you and he doesn't want anyone but you. So, he planned a really small celebration. We weren't even allowed to invite anyone. Just immediate family. You guys can get married, and if you want a big party later, we'll have one." She smiles brightly, and the look of exhaustion lessens. "Plus, if you have it in Amity, there's a big chance you won't return. Your grandfather is really persuasive. He told your father he bought you a pony."

I nod, and something dawns on me.

These past twenty-four hours had proven to be a whirlwind. My sanity was held together by a gossamer strand, which was threatening to rip apart with each new reveal. I realize the only thing to do is to take a page out of my mother's book and just go along with it.

It had worked for her, and it just might work for me.

"Okay," I give in, and I watch my mother's face light up. "Let me see the dresses."

* * *

Four hours later, Adam cancels.

His text message is apologetic, but thinly worded, and he ends it by saying he'll talk to me soon.

It's pretty ironic, considering we live together.

He can't avoid me forever, and normally, I'd be reasonably upset that he didn't want to meet up. Maybe he was trying to hold his secret plan together, or maybe he really was busy trying to figure out a way not to tell Rylan, but I pretend it's fine. I tell him okay, and I leave it at that.

I head upstairs, taking the steps two at a time, until I reach the roof.

After trying on all the dresses Christian sent, I left with my head spinning. None of them felt like me, and none of them were what I would want to get married in. Some were dramatic, large and oversized with enough details that I could barely see myself, and some were so tight I couldn't walk. Some were understated, pretty and still flashy, but not as vibrant, and some made me look like I was about to be locked away in a tower somewhere.

I was mildly defeated. I ate lunch with Rachel and Pink, both of them clearly knowing what was going on. They smiled, wider and wider, doing their best not to look at each other, and I wanted to yell that I knew what was up. In fact, I might even need their help getting ready. But I wanted to keep the secret, because the more I thought about it, the more I was surprised Adam had even thought of it.

It was pretty forward.

Sort of romantic, if you really thought about who he was. It was bold, considering he'd had to ask my father, tell his parents, and figure out how to keep everyone quiet. It showed that he truly was happy with me, and he was taking the stress out of planning a wedding we both knew would inevitably blow up in our faces.

If we planned something months out, maybe even years out, it wouldn't just be us.

It would be the entire faction, gathering together to watch their prophecy come true.

So I'd decided to stay quiet, and when he finally did ask me, I'd make him sweat for a minute by debating his offer for dinner.

Eventually, I'd say yes. But I'd make him work for it.

I'd gone home to an empty apartment, and I called him. His phone went to voicemail, and I took a chance by leaving a message and telling him I was going upstairs anyway. I told him I missed him, that I was hoping he'd be home early tonight, and to call me if I should wait up.

He didn't answer.

I try him one more time, plunking down on the edge of the rooftop, and dangling my feet over the edge.

I'd changed into one of the dresses Christian had made that I liked. It was the only one I took from my mom's apartment. I'd normally skip one like this, because it was a little too frilly for my liking. Everything was ruched and gathered and the skirt was too full and long, but it was pretty. It felt like something someone cooler than me would wear, and the dark color was perfect for sitting under the moonlight.

By myself.

I stare up at it, large and looming and slowly traveling across the night sky, and I sigh.

I miss Adam.

These hours of separation were painful. As much as I pretended otherwise, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I could even get behind the idea of this wedding, small and quiet, and solidifying who we are, because once it was done, my life with him could really start.

Maybe this was what we both needed.

"Eva, get down. You're going to fall."

The voice echoes on the rooftop, right over to me.

I don't even need to turn around to know who it is.

"I am not. I'm fine. I've never fallen," I remind him, but I smile when I hear him walk closer. "Except that one time when I fell onto you."

Adam comes to a halt at the edge, and he bends down to wrap his arms around me. He rests his head on my shoulder, and he smells good. He's clean and warm, like he just took a shower, and he nudges my head with his when I lean back.

"I thought you couldn't make it."

"I didn't think I would. I was in a meeting," he speaks softly, and his words are carried away by a lazy lone gust of wind. "That sounds so stupid to say. My dad used to say it all the time, whenever he was late. Everything was about a meeting."

I snort, because I'd always heard the same thing growing up. If my father was not home for dinner or running behind, it was because of a meeting.

"I was going to tell you when I got home that I accepted the job with him. He said I don't have to jump into anything crazy. I can learn all sorts of areas, and he's put together a pretty well-rounded training. He said once I'm done, I can really help them. They think Jason might not be as invested now that he has a baby. Or maybe he'll be more invested. Who knows?" Adam mumbles the words into my hair, and his arms tighten. "I just didn't know how to tell you. I wanted to leave with you. I wanted us to go somewhere else and this isn't any of that and…"

"We don't have to go anywhere, Adam." I turn slightly, and he moves closer. "Someday, maybe in a few years, if we get tired of living here, we can go. I liked the idea of living in Amity because it would be living with you, but I realized it doesn't matter where we are, just as long as we're together."

"So you aren't mad? You seemed…surprised."

"I like Amity, but I like anywhere when I'm with you," I glance up at him, managing to keep my balance and not fall, and his face relaxes completely. "I um, I saw my mom today and…"

"I know you know what I was planning," he cuts me off, and a second later, he pulls me backward. My stomach drops at the falling sensation, but my feet hit the roof a second later. "I figured someone wouldn't be able to keep quiet. But I'm gonna fix that."

"What are you talking about?" I stare at him in total confusion, and I realize he's dressed all in black. His meeting must have been more formal than I'd imagined, because his shirt is nice. It's dark and unbuttoned at the top, and his pants are dark, too.

"Okay, so I know we talked about it being just me and you, but I had to involve one more person," Adam grins, and he gestures at the doorway. I wait, patiently, and Adam clears his throat. "Rylan."

"Not Jason?" I ask, not entirely shocked when Rylan appears. He's also dressed in black, but his hair is brushed and neatly pulled up.

"Really, Eva? Not Jason? That's how you greet the man who's going to marry you and Adam?" Rylan's shirt is as nice as Adam's and he even has a tie on. "And to think I once yelled at your mother for wanting to take you from faction to faction." He huffs, but he smiles when he stops by Adam. "You two look nice."

"Thank you, but…" I look up at Adam, grinning widely, and I wait for the others to show up. I half expect my father to come up the stairs, my mother right beside him, followed by Karl and Charlotte and all of their children. "You want to get married right now? Just us?"

"Yeah, I told my mom I was going to do it before this weekend. They're all waiting for this party and I thought they'd keep it small. But all of a sudden, they needed to invite people. Cara, Jack, someone named Max. Some lady who just fell off the face of the Earth named Tori. I decided I wanted to do this tonight, you and me, and of course my mom accidentally told Christina."

"Christina told me," Rylan rocks back on his heels, and he looks at both of us. "No one told Eric, for safety reasons. He doesn't like gatherings on the roof. Nor would he handle this well. Anyway, I came up with a plan that once I marry you two, you'll head to Amity and enjoy a lovely stay there. I will single handedly shut down the factions again, giving you time to relax and have fun. I will also code my files so no one can un-shut them down. I have one more thing to take care of, and when I return, you can come back. Have a second wedding here. It'll be a huge party. We can even invite Henry, once he's done mourning the loss of Eva as his future wife."

Rylan flashes us a pleased smile and it's clear he's thought this through.

"You can…marry us? Are you sure?" I realize Adam is reaching for my hand, and his fingers touch mine. He pulls me toward him. "How?"

"Of course I can marry you two. Do you think my powers know any boundaries? I took an online course. It only cost me seven points and I had to register in Candor as an ordained…something. Jack is clearly racking up the price point for such an honor, but it was worth it. I registered back when your father first met your mother. Jason and I knew he'd marry her, and I was hoping I could be the one to do it. This is better, though. Way better."

"What do you say?" Adam looks at me, and he shrugs off the insanity of having Rylan marry us, then shut down the faction again, so we could leave for a few days. "You and me?"

I look back at him, his face handsome as ever, patiently waiting for me to say yes.

"Eva?"

I make him wait, until the look in his eyes tells me he's not quite so confident in his plan, and then I smile.

"Yes."

* * *

Turns out, Rylan is a pretty decent officiate.

Once we told him he couldn't stand on the roof ledge, which made him tower over us, he reverted to the most professional version of himself. He climbed down, fixed his hair, and pulled out his phone. To my surprise, he had guidelines he actually wanted to follow, and he waited patiently until Adam reached for my hand. We stood facing him, until he told us to face each other, and really, it couldn't have been more perfect.

We'd met up here for years, just Adam and me.

If I had to guess, I'd say Rylan knew this, or someone in the control room had watched. I would even go so far as saying there was probably a bet on whether or not we had kissed, or if we'd wind up together or drastically apart.

Up here, in the night sky, high above the city while the faction somewhat quieted down, we were together.

Just like all those times, when neither of us understood why we needed to see each other, just that we did.

"Okay, so you have to answer yes or no. If you answer no, the wedding is off and Eva must marry Henry as a consolation prize. He's waiting in the stairwell, just in case," Rylan snickers at the very thought, then clears his throat. "Yes, we're good?"

"I'm not marrying Henry," I laugh. "If I'm not marrying Adam, then I'd rather marry no one. And I really hope Henry isn't waiting in the wings for this to fall apart."

"Okay, he's waiting at home. But, on a serious note, do you take Adam to be your lawfully wedded husband? He'll have access to all your points, you'll never be able to divorce because paperwork takes forever here, and at some point, I will need to know if you're having a child. Before anyone else." Rylan declares, and I nod.

"I do."

Across from me, Adam smiles, both trying not to laugh at Rylan's demands, and happy with my answer.

"Adam, do you take Eva to be your lawfully wedded wife? According to Eric, she'll spend all your points on leggings she'll never wear and you'll probably have to cook dinner every night. Also, your water bill will be astronomically high, since Eric claims Eva takes forever to get ready, but you probably already know this. So, yes or no?" Rylan pauses, and he smiles brightly. "Though, we all know you'll say yes since this was your idea."

"These are the worst vows ever," Adam does his best to keep a straight face. "Can't I tell Eva I want to marry her because I love her?"

"I mean, if you wanna be gross, sure." Rylan winks, and he steps back, dangerously close to where he wanted to stand. "I'll give you a moment."

Adam looks at me, torn at Rylan's inability to keep a straight face and some distance between us, and he shakes his head.

"I do love you. A lot. More than I thought I could ever love someone. I just wanted to marry you without anyone around. And I needed someone who could make it official." He smiles, his eyes crinkling, and he scrunches his nose up. "I never pictured getting married this way, or at all, but it makes sense to me…and I hope it does to you, too. So, not to be gross, but I love you, Evangelina Coulter."

"I love you, Adam Eaton." I answer back, shaking my head when Rylan cheerfully informs us he charges by the minute. I step closer to Adam, and I remember the very first time I realized how tall he is. And how handsome. "I never imagined getting married either but this is far better than anything I could have thought of."

His smile grows wider, making his whole face light up.

"So that's a yes? You both agree to enter this legally binding, never ending, iron clad, divorce proof contract?" Rylan resumes his position as our official and he throws his hands up. "Then, by the power invested in me and Jack Kang and his weird, creepy old secretary, I now pronounce you husband and wife, royalty of the Dauntless faction. You may now kiss the bride, and then you can hug me because…"

For once, Rylan's voice wavers.

We both look at him, and his face is wrought with every emotion possible.

"Because I love you both like you're my own, which Adam could be, or at least my stepson or step grandson, and Eva, duh, because Eric is my best friend and I got to see you guys get married before anyone else in this faction." He says this in a rush, then stops, and screws his eyes shut. He struggles to keep it together, then decides he has no reason to.

It is a wedding, after all.

"Okay, now kiss, then I'll hug you." Rylan tearfully waves at us, then hops away toward the ledge. He glances down, and his stare stays there.

"Eva," Adam says my name, taking advantage of Rylan turning to wipe his eyes while he pretends he's not crying. Adam pulls me right against him, and I throw my arms around his neck as he slides his hands into my hair. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Maybe more."

He smiles, crookedly, like this is the very first time I've ever confessed this to him. I rise up on my toes, and he bends down, touching his lips to mine.

Everything is absolutely right in the world.

This might not have been how I ever imagined getting married or ever thought it would happen. It was likely our parents would be furious they weren't here for the original wedding, and our friends would probably be annoyed.

But it is just Adam and me, together, and that is all that matters.

Sure, at some point we'd have to tell our parents, and it was likely we'd have another ceremony, but this was all I needed.

"And actually, doesn't this mean you're no longer Evangelina Coulter?" Adam asks seriously, breaking away to look right at me. His fingers slide back, lingering on my face, and before I can nod, the sky explodes.

We both turn to look up at the night sky in total surprise.

They come out of nowhere; fireworks burst and bloom, streaking across the sky in bright colors. They're faintly familiar for reasons I don't know, but I can't take my eyes off them. Each one shoots up high into the sky, faster than I can see, then explodes in a glittering array of color. Some are pink, some are a darker pink. There are some white ones mixed in, and a very few blue ones. Adam and I watch them go off, one after the other, and he lets go to move his arms around me.

"Did you plan this?" I whisper, not wanting to break the spell of this moment. "Or did…hey, where's Rylan?"

We both dare to look away for a single second, but Rylan is gone, having vanished without either of us knowing. It's only us on the roof now. Adam pulls me against his side, sliding his arm around my waist and turning to face the direction of the fireworks.

"As much as I'd like to take credit for this, I have to say someone else is looking out for us."

His words drift into the not so dark night, and I lean my head against him.

We stand there as the fireworks show goes on and on. Some are bright enough to light up the whole roof, the color vibrant as it covers the rooftop in a lovely shade of blue. Some are fast, sparking quickly and burning out before I can blink. We watch until the last one is so loud and bright and dazzling that it's likely all of Dauntless will hear it. Adam and I stand there together, near the very ledge of the roof we'd once met by to pretend we didn't like each other, now as husband and wife.

The fireworks eventually stop and the sky turns dark. There are faint sparkles left, floating down lazily, waiting to burn out until the very last second.

Adam leans against me, and I can feel his heart beating. It's strong and steady, and ever familiar.

Once upon a time, I had thought Adam Eaton didn't like me.

I had thought his disdain for me was incredible, perhaps bordering on utter loathing. I had been wrong though, oh so wrong. I would never have been able to predict it would end like this, with us on a rooftop, married by Rylan, watching fireworks go off as our marriage became official.

"You ready, Eva?" Adam glances down out of the corner of his eye, and he smiles. He pulls me further against him, bending his head down to touch mine, and I realize I was stupid to think he didn't like me.

Maybe he had loved me this whole time.

From the very second we met, up until our last second together.

"I'm ready," I smile back, wide and happy and completely content.

He and I will head inside, my hand through his, my eyes on him, and we will head home. Not as two separate members of Dauntless, nor the Coulters versus the Eatons, but as Adam and Eva, who found their happily ever after, even if it was predicted by the entire faction.

I grasp onto him tightly, and I close my eyes for just a second, refusing to lose this feeling.

Pure, total, and nearly indescribable happiness.


	34. Chapter 34

Thank you SO much to** Bamberlee** for editing this long promised epilogue.

For those who were waiting for thrilling conclusion, here it is! So sorry for the delay. Amber sent this days ago, but I've been dealing with back to school issues since this week.

Thank you so so so much to everyone who followed along and reviewed this story! I highly recommend reading the very last chapter again, or at least skimming it to catch up.

* * *

Adam's skin is hot.

Strong and poised above me, he's nudging the side of my face with his nose. His hair hangs down to tickle my face and his lips press at my temple, where he hums my name.

It always sounds different, but familiar.

Eva.

Eva Eaton.

Evangelina, sometimes, usually while he looks entertained by how hard I'm holding onto him or how deeply he feels.

Sometimes, it's his own last name, now my last name, though I can't be sure anyone's processed the paperwork. I would think Rylan did. When I find time to wonder about what's going on in Dauntless, I can only assume Rylan ran with the papers in his hand, leapt over a few members, slammed them down in the administration office, and gleefully announced he had a status he needed changed, stat.

I don't think about it very much.

"Where are you? You look like you're a million miles away."

Adam's words jerk me back down to this warm room, in an oversized bed that's not ours but could be, as his mouth works its way down my neck. His actions are deliberately slow and drawn out, and the feeling of him over me is satisfying. I dig my nails into his back; they are painted a dark black, and the contrast against his skin makes me smile at the faint reminder of him.

We'd been in Amity for almost two weeks now.

After marrying him on the rooftop, with Rylan as our only witness and a ceremony topped with explosions in the sky, we left. We went home, threw a few things in a couple of bags someone had left in our living room, and followed the note Rylan had given Adam. It said someone would drive us there, and that person was my grandfather.

He was waiting in the docking bay in a newer Amity work truck, shiny and clean, and he smiled so widely it must have hurt. He hugged us both, told us he'd keep us safe and away from everyone for however long we wanted, and drove us to his faction.

It was pitch black when we arrived, and to my surprise, we weren't staying with him and my grandmother. He dropped us off elsewhere, pressing a key into my palm and informing me we could meet them for breakfast, or we could stay away from everyone in the faction, and someone would drop off our meals.

The allure of being alone, really alone, was intoxicating.

I barely got a step inside the door before Adam's arms found my waist, and another step took us straight to the bed. I vaguely wondered where we were, or how I never knew Amity had these homes set away from the rest of the faction, but I didn't care. I had Adam, now my official husband, and we had nothing but time. There was no ticking clock, no looming initiation date or training activity after training activity. There were no parents, no aunts and uncles, no godfathers, and certainly no friends, lingering in the hallway to ask if we wanted to hang out.

And no Henry.

"I was thinking about you, and how handsome you are," I smile up at him, and he smiles back, pleased and content. His head drops back down, and I try to imagine this with anyone else.

I can't.

It only works with Adam, pushing me back into tangled white sheets, with nothing but each other.

* * *

"He's cute!"

A week later, after reluctantly returning to Dauntless with the utmost hesitation, I sit on the edge of my parent's bed, holding a total clone of my father. I can't help but smile at my brother. His scowling expression is firmly in place and his grey eyes flash with annoyance at being taken away from his mother. His hair is the same blonde color as my father's, and someone has already parted it to the side. His tiny pajamas are black: the top is black, and the soft little pants are the same color as the uniforms here, and he exudes an air of annoyance when I touch the pants carefully.

I hold him closer, my long hair falling down to his hands, and he makes another face when it touches him.

"He looks just like you, Dad. You made that face when we left the front door open."

"Yeah, well anyone could have wandered in here. And they did. That's how I wound up finding out Jason changed all the lightbulbs in the hallway and Four just decided to drop by." My father grouses from his spot on the bed, looking woefully tired. He closes his eyes for a moment, then scowls.

Eric Jr. must not have been letting him sleep through the night like he declared he would.

"Well, that was fine. The lights were burned out anyway. Eva, did you and Adam have fun in Amity?" My mother yawns, looking somewhere in between Meghan and Charlotte. I'd say she landed squarely in the middle. She looks unfairly pretty for having a newborn; her dark hair is long and shiny, freshly washed and wavy, and her pajamas are short and pretty. She looks no different than before she was pregnant, except now with a more intense desire to fall asleep. She watches me hold my brother, her eyes sleepy but curious, and her head tilts as if something has just dawned on her. "Maybe too much fun? You don't look thrilled to be back."

I roll my eyes. "We had a ton of fun. Would you want to come back after weeks of doing nothing?"

"Yes," my father answers dryly, and his eyes are still closed. "I did my time in Amity. It wasn't that great."

My mother throws him a withering look, or as withering as one can when they're still grossly in love with the person, and she kicks him when he doesn't move. "You made out just fine. I didn't hear you complaining."

"That's because I did it quietly, so you wouldn't hear me," he mumbles the words at his pillow, looking ready to crash.

"What did you name him? Is his name really Eric?" I glance at my mother, who looks a tiny bit more awake than my father, and she smiles.

"No, his name is Everett." She beams, looking pretty happy with her decision to name him after herself. "I told your father the faction is only big enough for one Eric."

"Whatever."

My father's response is so low I can barely hear him, and he's now face down in the pillow. He waves dismissively, and I know he's seconds away from falling asleep.

"I think it sounds cool. Do you think he'll stay looking like dad?" I examine Everett intently, and he examines me right back. One of his tiny fists waves in the air, miming my father's actions from a second ago. "Actually, you don't have to answer that. It's clear he will."

"I'm sure," my mother sinks back against the pillows she's sitting against, and she smiles. "I just…I wish I had told you both sooner. I was really afraid you'd be mad."

My father's answer is incomprehensible.

"I was mad. I would tell you if I were pregnant," I touch Everett's hair, wondering if they'll keep it short. Or if they'll let it grow long, so they can cut it into some edgy hairstyle. Probably not. Given that he already looks like our dad, he would probably never have long hair.

"Are you?!" Her question is more of an exclamation, and she sits upright, smacking my father in the head. His protest is weak and muffled as he gives up on trying to stay awake. "Eva!"

"No," I shake my head, and Everett stares up like he doesn't believe me. "I'm not. I think Adam and I should wait longer than two weeks before we decide to have a family."

She looks at me, green eyes flashing with the enthusiasm of a lunatic, because who would want a newborn and a grandchild at the same time.

My mother, that's who.

"Did you get the shot again?"

I hold Everett closer, and he glares at me.

The same way I had glared at myself when I realized I hadn't.

"No. But I will. Eventually."

My mother's smile is wide, pretty and happy and smug, just like Adam's.

* * *

We don't have a baby.

Not right away.

Adam and I spend our days doing lots of other things, including working. We both get offices, large and spacious and ultimately sort of intimidating given who we are. His might be larger, and it's a good distance away from mine. Mine is next to Rylan's, which proves to be highly entertaining. On Monday, he came by with donuts. Tuesday was bagels. Wednesday was breakfast burritos. Thursday was donuts again, but fancier donuts, and Friday was a full on pancake breakfast brought up by Quinten.

Adam's office did not have breakfast service, and it was closer to his father's office than anyone.

The two of them seemed to like this arrangement, since they were working together and had managed not to kill each other. Their newfound relationship was good, strengthened by the fact that Adam was learning everything his father did, and they had plenty of time to talk. They also had plenty of time to come visit, and once they realized Rylan was bringing breakfast, it became routine to start their day in here.

All in all, things were quiet. I was given a list of representatives for each faction, and the areas they oversaw. My mother had an intricate list detailing each person and what they did, but also who they were. Her notes were all over the place, but it was clear she cared about them. She and Cara had a close relationship, while Jack's assistant didn't seem overly fond of her. It spanned more names than I thought I would ever remember, down to the girl who routinely made her coffee when she went to Erudite.

I was also given a list of factional issues, and the resolutions and compromises made. They could be used as examples, and I quickly figured out I would have the same advantage my mother had: very personal connections in some of the factions. It was unlikely my grandfather in Amity would refuse to help me, and my grandfather in Erudite would be able to give me some insight. Adam had grandparents in Abnegation, and that left only Candor without any real link.

My father assured me Jack wouldn't be an issue.

He slowly appeared back in his office, but it was clear his real priorities were at home. Four and his new best friend Rylan had a great hold on the faction, and this meant my dad was in no real rush to return to work. Which was fine by him. The first day I saw him, he sat down in one of the guest chairs dressed in a t-shirt and pants, rubbed his eyes, and slowly ate a donut while Rylan caught him up to speed on everything going on: Quinten and his wife were having another baby, Jason had painted Elijah's nursery and Rylan didn't love the color, Christina bought him the wrong boot laces but he guessed he could make them work, and most importantly, everything was really quiet.

My father took all this in, slowly eating a donut with pink sprinkles, and he let Rylan continue.

Chad had broken his nose again, though I had no clue who Chad was, and Karl had mentioned he might try and see if he could have twins again. Arlene had refused to let Rylan have a second lollipop when he went down for a routine checkup, and most importantly, Henry had taken a wife.

Rylan announced this gleefully, and I rolled my eyes.

His wife is…interesting.

Henry had gotten married right after Adam and I did, and he must have realized he was never marrying anyone in the Coulter family. He'd married a girl named Ava, and she was nice. A year older than me, and only a few inches taller, but her hair was dark. It wasn't as dark as mine, but it was as close as he could get to marrying my mother or myself. I liked her though, because she seemed to really like him, and he quit walking home shirtless.

Or coming over to ask if we had any paper towels.

My father snickered at this news, finished his donut, and announced he was going back home to take a nap. He kissed the top of my head, exhaustedly high fived Rylan, and left. His return was gradual. His uniform appeared slowly, until one day he showed up barking orders into his phone at someone, then yelling at everyone to move so he could show Rylan a picture of Everett.

Things felt good, normal and busy, and I found myself feeling oddly fulfilled as I left each day.

* * *

"Is that…good?"

I'm met with silence, a heavy noise of intense concentration, and finally a strangled _yes_.

"Adam?"

I look up at him, balancing carefully on my knees, to the red face of my husband. Being married came with all kinds of perks. I routinely got out of putting the dishes away because Adam liked them up where he could reach them, and there was no way I could reach the higher shelves. He bought our groceries because he made dinner more often than I did, and he always bought dessert.

He was warm and strong, very patient, and best of all, very eager to make sure I enjoyed our nights together. Sometimes, when his mouth moved lower, between my thighs until I groaned his name, I had to wince away the thought of him talking to Jason about this. I could also appreciate the fact that he'd had someone fill him in on the basics, but everything else, we figured out together.

If I had to guess, I would assume his parents weren't very open about this sort of thing. I always seemed to be seconds away from witnessing my father gazing at my mother or making some horrible cringe-worthy comment about how he wanted to go home. It was impossible to miss just how much he loved her, how even when she failed to tell him she was having another child he couldn't stay mad at her. Their affection came easy, though my mother confessed it once did not, and they saw no reason not to be visibly in love.

Adam is slightly more reserved.

Not in any way that would hint he's not married. Our return to Dauntless brought us right back to our friends, right back into the faction, and right into a slew of girls who'd realized a few things.

One, Adam is a genuinely nice guy. He is polite, kind, and never really mean to anyone.

Two, he is tall. Fit. Really handsome, especially when he wears his uniform.

And three, he looks even better out of the uniform.

Occasionally, I was subject to their jealous stares as we ate dinner. Adam insisted it went both ways. More than once, I'd caught him glaring at someone across the room, or pulling me closer, as though they'd come over and just move me away from him. The best part of these encounters was we both ended up worked up. We'd take off in a huff of irrational, lusty jealousy, and it was a race to see how quickly we could get the other one undressed.

Tonight is no exception.

We'd gone to dinner at Clyde's. We sat in our normal booth, away from everyone else, but apparently not far enough away. Adam still had the leaders' uniform on, and I was dressed up since I'd gone to Erudite today. Over hamburgers and fizzy sodas, Adam told me about Jason bringing Elijah into the office, and Rylan spending the entire day investigating a missing poster. Right as he told me Rylan found his cat poster, a wall sized print out of a cat dressed as a wizard, I realized the girls at the table next to us were staring at him.

They were staring at me, too, but my stares were more in disbelief. They were edgier than I am, electric colored hair and faces full of metal, and as far as I knew, they were nothing Adam was interested in. Even so, I scowled back at them, watching their eyes rake over Adam like they'd never seen him before, and I knew it was the stupid jacket.

My mother had warned me everyone loves the uniforms. It made everyone far more attractive, and I'd thought she was just being obnoxious since my father still happened to have his on.

But in that moment, I understood.

Adam, dressed in the dark black uniform with his hair a mess, was hard to look away from. There was an air of authority not there before, a faint hint of power over those who lived here. It wasn't anything drastic. It was more natural, like the job came to him without much trouble, and he had no issues getting people to trust him.

When one girl bravely sent him over a drink, I had enough.

He sent it back, paid the bill, and reached for my hand. We walked out together, him ignoring them completely and me smirking as I walked by, though I was irritated enough to consider calling my father and having the girls kicked out. We didn't get very far before Adam pulled me against his chest. He kissed me, less polite and far more frantic, and he mumbled he knew I was mad, and he thought it made me even prettier.

He thought I was pretty all the way home, into our bedroom, but especially when I took the length of him into my mouth.

My skill level was questionable at best. He was the only person I'd ever slept with and our experience level was only each other. I had found great joy, and a lot of very blissful nights because of this, and I wasn't hesitant at trying things. I wanted to make sure he was satisfied. I knew he was happy, and there was no rush to conquer every single sex act in this book Rachel had gifted us.

But tonight, he's very happy, and his fingers slide into my hair. He's gentle, coaxing them through the dark strands I pushed back, until he's not. It only takes me a minute to figure out what he likes, and when my fingers graze his thighs, he yanks on my hair. His groan is immediate; his head falls back, his lips part, and when he looks down at me, he shakes his head furiously.

"You…you have to stop. I won't… I….Eva."

Rachel had given me advice on this one. I hadn't asked for it, nor did I want to hear about her experiences with Aja, but I listened to the main points. When Adam groans again, his hips bucking to no rhythm other than fast and faster, I know he's close. I rise up further, sliding one hand up to stroke him, and I have to admit, I feel pretty powerful when he mumbles my name over and over.

He'd done this to me a few nights ago.

I was ready for him to slide inside of me, and I got the surprise of my life when he pushed my legs apart, only to settle between them. I came pretty quickly, my hands in his hair and my knees pulled up to keep him close, and for a second, I thought I was dead.

Now, I think Adam might die, because he yanks harder, and I coax him on, liking the way he's about to lose control. The sight before me is one that's hard to forget; every muscle on him is tensed, his chest is rising and falling, and his breathing comes in sharp pants. I only pull away when he jerks his hips back, and he shoves me backward.

"I thought you liked it!"

My protest dies when he attacks my neck with his mouth. He pushes my legs away so he can move closer, and he pushes inside me with all the franticness from earlier.

"Fuck, you have no idea how much I love you."

It's the only thing I need to hear. I grab hold of his shoulders, raking my nails down his back, and I forget about the girls drooling over him. I focus only on him, grunting as his hips hit mine, and saying my name. He comes first, having been pushed over the edge from earlier, but I don't mind.

He makes it up to me over and over, until I can barely remember my own name, and he slickly reminds me we share a last name.

* * *

For the most part, Everett is a pretty easy-going baby.

He turns four months old on a Friday, and my mother invites everyone to meet at Clyde's for dinner. She and my father reserve half the back of the bar, and I half wonder if I should bring Everett something. It's not a celebration really, but it feels like one.

Adam and I show up right at the same time his parents do, and they look surprised to see my mother looking exactly the same as she always does. She doesn't look tired anymore, and her dress is fitted enough that it looks impossible that she had a baby a few months ago. Her hair is long and wavy, and she and my father are busy talking, her staring up at him and him staring down at her, grossly enamored with each other, while my grandfather holds Everett. His blue shirt is sharp and bright, and he and Camille seem very impressed with Everett.

Everett is impressed by none of this.

His blonde hair has been combed to the side to replicate my father's, and his tiny black outfit is soft looking. He has tiny boots on, and he immediately kicks them off, crying when Camille tries to put them back on his feet. She smiles at him, making a face so he'll laugh, and he does.

Barely.

He cracks the barest hint of a grin, and my grandpa comments he looks just like my father.

I half expected to find myself jealous of the attention on Everett, but I'm not. I'd been around him enough to figure out that he took after my father, even as an infant, and preferred his immediate family only. He likes me enough to let me hold him, and I suspect he sometimes thinks I am our mother. When he realizes I'm not, he scrunches up his face and screams until she comes to get him, then he glares at me over her shoulder.

Even now, Everett doesn't seem to want any of the attention. He keeps turning his head toward my mother, and eventually wails loud enough that she breaks away to go fetch him. His face is bright red and furious, and he screams even as she takes hold of him. Once he's safe in her arms, he quiets down immediately, pushing his head into her throat and closing his eyes, and the tears stop.

Someone snickers that he's just like Eric, and my father's retort- that he'll kill them -is mild.

"He looks just like your dad," Adam whispers, and he tightens his fingers through mine. "Like, a tiny, angry clone."

"I know. My dad makes the same face when my mom leaves him alone on the couch," I whisper back, and for a second, we hang out on the outside of the crowd, observing them.

The non-party is in full swing. My grandpa from Amity shows up a few seconds before us, loudly announcing his bar is looking good and he approves of the few upgrades Paul has made. My grandmother immediately hugs my mother, holding her tightly and refusing to let go. Forrest and Willow show up, taking a seat to the side and glancing around in total adoration, and even Woody and his wife are here. Everyone mingles together –Jason and Meghan show up with Elijah, Karl and Charlotte show up with their army of children, and Four and Tris are pulled along by Ethan and Evan. They've mostly accepted their sisters, and their tiny uniforms are even cuter when they pull everyone over to see Elyse and Ella.

They're also dressed in black, and I admire everyone's dedication to the Dauntless faction.

"Should we get a drink?" Adam asks, and I nod. I follow his lead to the bar, staring up at his mess of hair, still needing to be cut but he hadn't found the time, and his dark shirt. He glances back at me, grinning when he sees me staring, and once we are away from our family, he pulls me close. "You look really pretty. Much better than in the uniform they gave you."

I wrinkle my nose, rising up to kiss him.

We'd both been given a set to wear, Adam's a leader's version and mine the generic one the soldiers wore, though I had no desire to shrug on the heavy jacket and pants. Mine didn't even fit. I could only assume it was generic sizing, but it was oversized and ill fitting. My father groaned when I told him, and said he'd call Christian. We both knew this meant he'd show up to take measurements, which could take hours, and he smiled when I said I was in no real hurry to have the issue fixed because I had no plans to wear it.

"Yours looks good on," I inform him, pressing my lips to his, feeling him smile. "It looks better off, though."

Adam's hands move to my lower back. He presses them gently, coaxing me closer. He's never been hesitant in touching me, and especially not now. He inches me closer, and his hand moves around to rest on my side.

Hour ago, I'd confessed that for the millionth time I hadn't gone to see Arlene. Any free time I had, I spent with him. It felt wrong to trudge downstairs to see her, and Adam simply shrugged the words away and pulled me down on top of him.

"How long do you want to stay here?" I ask as he walks us backward and he stops when I hit the bar. We have the same boots on, and my dress is one of my favorites. He seems to like it, too. His fingers return to my back, and he glances around us to see if anyone is paying attention.

They aren't.

Ethan has managed to jump off the table, and somehow kicked Rylan in the face. Charlotte is attempting to stop his bloody nose while Evan tells him it looks cool. Christina is laughing, holding her cocktail with both hands and nearly spilling it when Rylan declares nothing can hurt him. My mother is holding Everett, and my father is hovering nearby, explaining to my grandpa how Everett sleeps through the night now, and they both are getting plenty of sleep. He snickers when he says it, and I have a feeling they're up with each other the second Everett goes to bed.

A few days ago, my father showed up to very carefully ask me how I felt about them moving Everett into my room. My father is never afraid, but he looked hesitant, like he didn't want to ask me. His stare told me this had never been in his plans, and it was making him feel guilty since they promised never to change my room.

I immediately assured him it was fine. Everett couldn't sleep in their room forever, and they probably didn't want to move. I had no plans of moving back in, and a few days later, my room was transformed into a nursey. It was dark and edgy, and I'm sure Everett would thrive into a clone of my father with his black bedding and even blacker décor.

"Um, not long at all." Adam stares back with wide eyes, and he slides one hand up to touch my hair. He twists a piece around, side eyeing the bartender as we wait to order. "I missed you, today."

"Not as much as I missed you."

"You two are just as gross as Eva's mom and dad."

The voice comes from Kat, laughing as she stops beside us. Zander is here too, and his fingers are tightly wound through hers. He snickers along with her, fully agreeing his older sister has continued to be gross, and he throws one look over at them and makes a face.

"He must really like her to still not find her annoying," Zander shakes his head, and he winks at me. "Did you guys order yet?"

"Not yet, they're really busy," Adam doesn't let go of me, and he leans in. Zander and Kat aren't such a sore subject anymore, but things hadn't returned exactly to normal.

Once they both had my blessing, Zander proposed to Kat. He found her walking to work, pulled her to the side, and practically demanded she marry him. It was far from romantic, but it was exactly what they needed. Just the two of them, realizing how much they meant to each other. He didn't care what anyone else thought, nor did he want to spend another second apart.

Since then, they'd gone full force with their love.

Every time I saw them, they were either making out, or about to make out. Kat moved in with Zander a day after he asked her to marry him, and they were very content with their new life. She'd asked me to be in her wedding, looking nervous as though I might say no, but I said yes. I hadn't seen her a ton, but I fully approved of them being together and wouldn't miss it for the world.

Their wedding is in a few months, and they won't tell a soul where it is being held.

My guess is Amity.

Adam's guess is in the training room.

"We can't stay long. We have to get back home," Zander throws out casually, and Kat beams up at him. She stares at his ridiculous haircut, his fitted t-shirt, and practically melts at whatever they have planned. "We have…uh, a delivery we're waiting for."

"At seven at night?" I stare at both of them, and Adam does his best not to laugh. "Hey, Kat did you pick out a dress yet? I was thinking we could go look if you want."

"I haven't!" Her eyes light up as she pries herself away from Zander. "Are you busy tomorrow? Or the day after?"

"I can meet you whenever. I'm off the next few days," I watch Adam do his best not to frown, because he is off, too. "Just…text me. We'll figure it out."

"Sounds good to me," she answers dreamily, and Zander flashes Adam an even bigger smile. He's been extra happy these days, and I have a feeling we're in for quite the party. "Hey, Zander we should go home. Let's go say hi to Everly and Eric, and then we'll leave. We can grab a drink at home."

"Sure," Zander takes her hand in his again, and he waves. "I'll see you both soon."

"Later," Adam watches as they slink back through the crowd, and until they reach my parents. They say hello, and Kat is thrilled to see Everett. She touches his head, and my mother offers to let her hold him. Everett has other plans, though. He immediately shrieks, and Kat laughs. She tells my mom it's fine, but she and Zander take off a second later, staring at one another and no one else. "How long before you think they have a baby?"

I watch them struggle to weave through the crowd, Zander tripping over his boots and laughing when Kat trips over him, and I have a feeling it won't be long.

"I bet they have one right after they get married."

Adam nods, and for a single second, out of absolutely nowhere, he looks the tiniest, faintest bit jealous. It's a strange look for him. We'd both agreed that having a baby wasn't something we wanted right away, or maybe for a long time. Adam's relationship with his father was getting better, but that didn't mean he wanted to be a father.

Which leaves me confused when he watches them leave, and his smile doesn't reach his eyes for the rest of the night.

* * *

"I love you."

This time, he hovers over me, thrusting in and out with a desperation I don't remember him having. Adam's skin is slick and sweaty, and I nearly fall off the bed when he slams into me.

He'd come home from work in quite the mood. I couldn't figure out if it was his father, maybe making some comment that would set him off, or his mother, dropping by out of the blue to ask if he'd come to dinner. Our free time is scarce these days, and we often chose to spend it with each other.

Rachel and Aja had invited us out plenty of times. We'd gone along, meeting up with them and Pink and Gunner, and always had fun. Ultimately, we snuck away, ending the night by hinting we had to work early and we had to get to bed.

It had been a week since we'd seen everyone, and I'd figured maybe we'd order dinner and watch a movie. I had gone with Kat to pick out her dress, and I'd bought one, too. Adam had gone with Zander to look at a suit, though he still couldn't figure out where they were getting married. That had been days ago, but his mood tonight was something else.

He'd marched inside, half dragged me to our bedroom, and tackled me before I could even ask if he wanted me to order dinner.

"They changed your name today. Officially," Adam informs me, his eyes half open and his head dipping down to touch mine. "They sent your cards to my dad and he asked again if…" Adam pauses, because talking about his father isn't exactly ideal right now. "They wanted to know if we are ever having…"

He doesn't finish. I reach up to pull his head to mine, and I shake my head no.

We'd both agreed our wedding was absolutely perfect.

We'd caught some flak for not having a huge celebration. My father offered. Demanded. Insisted. Bargained, then oddly enough, begged for a large party for us. At first, we said yes, figuring it would be fine, but Everett proved to take up most of his time, and my mother sort of winced at the thought of putting on a formal dress. We decided having Rylan marry us was enough; we'd gotten what we wanted, and it felt intrusive to have everyone watch us proclaim our love for each other.

Adam especially agreed. He valued our privacy here, and I knew he didn't want to get married in front of the faction.

I did feel guilty that my parents weren't there. Sometimes, Adam did, too. He mumbled it at night, until it became clear his parents wanted a wedding.

Coming from them it was strange, and I wondered if they were desperate to make up for lost time.

And the sprinkle cake.

"Do you want to have one? We could just have a party or something," I gasp, but it's hard to put my thoughts together. Adam stops to pull me back from nearly falling to the floor, and he stares in surprise. "It would be for them, not us. We've been married for a while now. We already had the best wedding but they probably feel left out."

I smile up at him, and it's like despite whatever his parents were telling him, he never thought of that. "Who even cares? We can show up late, say a few vows, and have some cake."

"True. We never did have cake," he muses, and his expression changes. "You sure about this?"

"Yes," I urge him on, moving my hand back to his hips. He gets the hint immediately, and he resumes slowly sliding in and out. "And I love you, too. More than you could ever know."

He smiles even wider at this affirmation, and I'm not lying. All I ever wanted was for someone to love me, and he did. He loved me in a way I would never imagine possible, a way that made my head spin. The best moments with him were the ones that were absolutely mundane but made magical just by being together.

He seems to agree.

He forgets whatever set him off, and resumes kissing my lips, then my neck, then biting me when I laugh. He moves easily, pulling me closer and laughing when his own head hits our headboard, and I realize how lucky I am.

His love for me is the same as mine for him, all encompassing, and all either of us needs.

* * *

In a surprising turn of events, my mother leaves Everett alone for a whole two minutes to sit on my bed. She reclines back to watch me try on the dress for Zander's wedding, and her approval is immediate.

"You look so pretty. When you were little, your grandma used to send me a bunch of dresses for you and they were gorgeous. They drove your dad nuts because they were all pink." She tilts her head and her own dress slips off her shoulder. "Then he started picking out all the girly clothes for you. He secretly liked them."

"I think everyone in the faction knows it's his favorite color," I stare at her through the mirror, and her response is to roll her eyes at my irritation. The feeling is rare, bubbling up at the thought of how much my father loves my mother, and I try to squash it down. "Did he order Everett a uniform yet?"

"Not that I know of," she grins. "But I'm sure he's tried. Christian drops off clothes all the time. Everything is black. There is no other color in your father's mind for his son."

"Are you guys having fun?" I turn to stare at myself in the mirror and I hold my hair up to see if it looks better that way. "Having a baby when your older child is married?"

"Oh tons," she answers, but her concern is quick. She sits up, and her head tilts. "Everett is completely different than you were. You were obsessed with your father. He let you get away with murder. I'd try to put you in your crib, we'd go to bed, you'd cry, he'd go get you. He took you everywhere, wouldn't let anyone hold you, and he acted like no one else had ever had a baby but him. Everett won't leave my side. He cries if anyone takes him away from me longer than a second, but he likes his space. He sleeps in his crib all night, and he stares your father down like he's trying to figure out how to be his size. It's cute, but tiring."

"I thought you said he sleeps through the night?"

"Yeah, but your father doesn't," she laughs, and I make a face, turning nauseous at the thought of them. "Oh stop. I'm sure you and Adam aren't going straight to bed. I saw him walking to get coffee with Gunner and he looked pretty happy. I mean, I haven't heard any stories, but he looks happy."

"He is happy," I let go of my hair, and I glare at her smug smile. "Maybe because we _are_ going straight to bed."

"Yeah, sure. I was your age once. I only got to sleep in because your father was training me and he liked having someone to cuddle with." She looks oddly sappy at this thought, and she only confirms the theory that my father loved her so much that he kept her with him, despite her initiation being for the whole faction and not just with him. "I hated when he had to get up early. So many mornings he'd put on his uniform and I hated that he was leaving."

I stare at her, and for a second, I understand.

Adam left before me this morning. He'd pulled on the leader's jacket over his shirt, and I watched him from our bed. I pulled the covers up high, clutching them to my chest, and hoping he'd announce he was coming back to bed. He didn't have to work today, but he was meeting his dad and Jason, and the jacket hinted it was work related.

"Yeah," I mutter, and I turn when Everett starts screaming. "Do you have to go get him?"

"I do. He's probably hungry," she shrugs, and she stands up slowly. "He gets sort of territorial when he wants to eat. Your father tried to sit by me when Everett was nursing and he kicked him out of the way."

"I see he's just as obsessed as dad is," I laugh, and she sighs. "What?"

"He's very sweet. I get it. I just…. I was hoping he'd have a niece or nephew to play with soon. You know, it's been nearly five months since you married Adam."

"Get out of my room," I glare at her, but there's no real anger behind it. "I don't think we should have a baby any time soon. I think Adam is busy and I'm busy and your notes you left for how to handle Jack Kang are hard to decipher and I already had cramps and my period will be here any day so you can just go on wishing for a grandchild and…"

I stop, and she looks at me.

"And?"

"Um..." I try to finish my sentence, but I can't. I'm frantically trying to figure out what the date is, and my brain scrambles the events that have happened since I've been married and how this would correlate to me not being pregnant.

Everett was born, my room was redone, Rylan had started hosting Pancake Tuesdays in my office, my father went back to work, my mother bought a slew of dresses that showed off that she'd never gained more than five pounds while pregnant, Zander and Kat were engaged, Rachel and Aja had broken up then immediately gotten back together, Everett had turned three months old, then four months old, was nearly five months old….and Adam and I had sex.

A lot of sex.

Sometimes before we left for work, often before we went to bed.

I'd attended zero appointments Arlene had scheduled for me, and I'd forgotten to reschedule them. I'd even turned off her text reminders, because I didn't have time. I'd rather be home, in bed with Adam, than waiting in the infirmary to be stabbed.

"It's the twentieth," my mother answers slickly, and she crosses her arms over her chest with a smug smile, and I can see her realizing my terrible mood isn't just because my little brother has taken over her life. "You look like you're trying to count something in your mind."

"I am not!" I blurt out, lying desperately when there's wave of horror as I try to remember the last time I'd had any sort of period. It had stopped during initiation, probably from the stress of trying to stay alive, and I certainly hadn't had it the first time I'd slept with Adam.

Or the thousandth.

"I'm not…I can't be…I got _one_ shot." I think aloud, and my mother's smirk lessens as her eyes widen. "What?"

"EVA! You only got one shot? That's it? They only last a few months! You really never went back? I thought you were kidding!" My mother looks thrown off, and she glances around the room furiously. When she comes up with nothing, for I can't even figure out what she's looking for, her eyes are so large you'd have thought I announced I was leaving tonight and never returning. "Eva, I was just teasing you! Everett has a lot of friends and I really do want a grandchild since I'm home anyway, and your father looks really cute holding little babies but…you really haven't been on birth control this whole time?!"

Her shriek rivals Everett's, and I panic.

My future flashes before me and it's bleak. I give birth in a barn. Adam is mad. When we return to Dauntless, he leaves for work, while I stay home, trying to clean and raise our six children. They're all born at once. They cry when he leaves, throw their toys everywhere, and I have seven bedrooms to try to keep up with. I fail. My hair is ugly, and ultimately, Adam finds a younger and prettier wife who isn't covered in baby vomit and not even Henry wants to marry me.

I move back home, and Everett takes over as the more successful child of the family.

He's two.

"Eva!"

For the first time in a while, I start crying, so hard that my mother yells for my father to bring her Everett, but also to call Adam.

* * *

"Um, so I have to admit I honestly thought you were…on…something."

Adam's fingers move slowly, gently coaxing my hair out of my eyes. It sticks to my cheeks, wet with the tears that hadn't stopped since I'd started crying, and he holds me close against his chest. I lean further into him, waiting for the nurse to finish writing my name on the vials of blood she'd taken, and he doesn't let go.

"Eva, it's fine, either way. I don't care."

His voice is soothing. It's low and rough, but confident in our ability to have a child. I shake my head no, that it's not alright, and I sound miserable when I do answer him.

"No! You left! You married someone else and I couldn't keep everything clean and I didn't even have time to brush my hair…"

He's silent, and he struggles to find the words to answer me.

"What?"

"Six of them," I cry even harder, and I don't want this. I lift my head away from his chest to stare at him, and his blue eyes are understandably confused. "You left me."

"I uh, had to work this morning. I went with my dad to go to lunch, but he wanted me to sit in on a video conference. I thought you'd be okay. You said your mom was coming over…." Adam trails off, and I wait for him to tell me he's leaving. That this has been fun, but I'm officially insane. "Six of what? Six kids? Were you dreaming?"

"No, I just…I thought about it and…" I sound like a moron. He just watches me, still trying to smooth my hair away, and the act is so kind it makes me cry all over again. "I'm an idiot. This is my fault. I never came back to get the shot and I just assumed at some point we'd want to have a baby and then it would just happen."

"Oh, I think it's happening," the nurse mutters, and she returns to hand me a tissue. "How are you feeling? Any nausea? Headaches? Tiredness?"

"No," I shake my head, but Adam nods his. "Yes?"

"You barely ate your breakfast. You said you weren't hungry and it was annoying Rylan was in your office. You also said you were tired, and you fell asleep when I started the documentary about how viruses spread."

I stare back at him, narrowing my eyes. "Okay, well you also fell asleep during that one."

"True, but…" Adam swallows, and he looks incredibly hesitant to say anything else.

"What? What do you know that I don't?" I look at him in horror, but his fate is saved when the nurse returns to wipe off my arm again. "More blood?"

"I'm going to have you checked for a few other things. Arlene just sent the request in. It'll just take a second," she assures me, and a second later, she stabs the needle right into my vein. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen."

My answer is bleak, but not as bleak as when she asks Adam for his contact information and not mine. She has me sign off on the paperwork requesting the tests –which I try to read but the only one I really understand is _pregnancy test_ –and then I do my best to sign my name at the bottom.

It looks strange, after years of being Eva Coulter, but also right.

I finish writing Eva Eaton, then I sink back against Adam's chest until he gently tells me we can leave whenever I'm ready.

* * *

Clyde's is crowded.

I sit in the booth next to Adam, and all around him, everyone is beaming. To the side of me, is his mother. Every so often, she grasps onto my arm and doesn't let go until she's squeezed it. His father sits beside her, watching intently and carefully nudging the oversized gift they've brought. On the other side of Adam is Jason, holding Elijah up to see the candles, and Meghan, snapping photos on her phone.

My parents, along with Karl and his family, and Rylan and Christina, sit on the other side. Even Everett is interested in the cake and burning flames, and his grey eyes flash over to Elyse every so often. She sits there with Charlotte, babbling absolutely nothing as Ella falls asleep. Ethan and Evan wait patiently, and every so often, Evan chants cake, cake, cake until Karl picks him up to see better.

Adam turns nineteen first.

The party was my idea. I wanted to do something special for him, and I figured a party with our friends and family would be ideal. I made reservations, bought him a few presents, and invited everyone who was important. Unfortunately for our friends, our parents showed up first, followed by their friends, and took the seats closest to us. No one seemed to mind, though. Kat and Zander were at the very end, which was fine, since they were holding hands and had eaten dinner without breaking their grip. Rachel and Aja were talking to Charlotte about how it was having four children, and Pink and Gunner were whispering something to my parents.

Everyone had brought something. There was cake. Gifts. A mountain of drinks, sent our way from people in the bar, just wanting to join in. There were balloons, balloon animals –a hidden talent Karl waited my whole life to reveal– and plenty of laughs as Tris told Adam to make a wish, and he actually listened.

He glances over at me with a smile, then turns to the cake, and closes his eyes. He keeps them shut for a minute before he blows them out, and once he does, it sounds like the whole bar is cheering.

"CAKE! CAKE! CAKE!" Evan slams his fists on the table, and Tris moves the chocolate non-sprinkle cake away to cut.

"What did you wish for?" I ask, craning my head up to look at him.

He looks down at me, slinging his arm against the back of the booth, and his head touches mine.

"A new shirt. I've already got everything I want."

He's lying.

His smirk tells me he wished for something else, but I have a feeling I'll like it.

"Happy Birthday, old man." I kiss his cheek quickly, and he laughs.

"Hey, you're next, Eaton. It won't be long before you're nineteen, and we all know what happens then," Adam looks right at me, and I have the sinking feeling I know what he means. "We officially get married married, for the whole faction to see."

I force a smile at the very thought. We'd made a very loose agreement to have this take place, and I was starting to regret the idea.

In fact, every time I thought about it, I got a little queasy. I like my life with Adam, and it feels wrong to invite everyone in Dauntless to have a glimpse into it.

Adam is pretty excited for it. Even now, he beams at his guests and pulls me closer. We sit and watch as Tris and my mom work to pass out the cake. I stay pressed into his side, and his good mood wins out over mine. He bends down to kiss me back, and he very quietly thanks me for this party.

"I don't think I ever felt that something like this would happen. Not until…not until we were together," Adam takes my hand in his, and he winds his fingers between mine. "Not until you said you loved me."

His words are quiet and low, and really, no one around us can hear anything. My father and Four are arguing over who is going to pay the bill, and my mother and Tris are talking about someone named Pamela. Everett leans back against our mom in total content, having been given a single taste of frosting. He'd mouthed it in pure disgust, then his eyes lit up. For a whole two minutes he was wild, waving his fists and trying to sit up further to get more cake, then he crashed. He leaned against her chest to watch everyone, and now his stare is stuck on Adam.

Adam wiggles his free fingers at him, and Everett barely acknowledges him past an exaggerated sigh.

"He hates me. Why? I thought all kids loved me!" Adam is rightfully insulted, and my mother hears him.

"No! He doesn't hate you! How could he hate his brother in law? He just…shares Eric's disdain for the general population." She explains brightly, then resumes telling Tris that Pamela is alive and well, and Eric went to see her the other day.

"I don't think that makes me feel much better," Adam stares, and Rylan appears to sympathize. He squeezes himself in between my mother and father and ignores both their stares.

"Don't lose any sleep over it. I held him the other day, while Eric went to get us some drinks, and the kid barfed on me. All over my wolf shirt! Do you know how hard it is to find a wolf shirt in this place? It had three wolves on it, all howling at the moon." Rylan looks defeated, then he perks up. "I'm sure Chris will find another one. No biggie."

"Did you ever find a factionless child to steal?" Adam asks, and I kick him beneath the table. He elbows me back, and we both know my father had warned Rylan that while he could steal a factionless child, he'd actually have to raise the child once he did. "Or are you and Christina holding off?"

"I'm exploring my options," Rylan shrugs, like he'd really been thinking this through. "Who knows what the future holds, Adam? I still have a few things to work on, plus Christina and I were just talking about taking a few weeks off. Harrison invited us to Amity and I might take him up on it."

"Before Eva's birthday?" Adam looks nervous, and Rylan immediately shakes his head.

"You really think that I, number one godfather and ultimate supreme friend of the Coulter slash Eaton family would leave before celebrating such an event? Never. You know what happened when your mother turned nineteen?"

"What?" I take a sip of my drink, waiting for him to answer. "Let me guess. My father professed his love for her to the entire faction and everyone clapped?"

"Well…" Rylan pauses. "I mean, yes that did happen. But I was going to say she had you. So, since you got married when she did, I'm fully expecting my great godchild sometime in the upcoming year, following right along the approved Coulter timeline of important events."

I choke on my drink. It goes down the wrong way, into my lungs, and no one is phased.

"Oh, and your father celebrated her birthday with her and only her and no one else because he was a selfish asshole sometimes, back in the day, but that's okay. I've moved on from it." Rylan grins, and he stands up, purposely smacking my father as he climbs away from them. "I love you all. I'm going back to my wife now."

"Eva, are you okay?" Adam looks down at me, laughing as I try to stop coughing. I finally nod, but it takes a long time for the burn to go away.

It stays there for a while, and I ignore my mother's pressing stare as she tries to wrangle Everett over to my father.

Adam had done his best to wait until I was nineteen to get married, only because I'd been insistent upon not repeating history.

But I have the sinking feeling everyone else is expecting the same thing, and even worse, they might be right.

* * *

"Do you have the test results back?"

I half rage whisper, half yell this into my phone. In front of me, Christian pins my dress, making small humming noises of both approval and disapproval. He doesn't like that the dress is too large on top, and he makes a face when he gets to the waist. I don't love any of it, but Kat does, and I suppose I'm fine looking like a peasant in Amity for a day.

"I'm sorry, who is this?"

"Eva! Eva Cou…Eaton. Eva Eaton," I answer, correcting myself and ready to slap someone out of frustration. I grow even more irritable when my head throbs, and I regret coming down here without eating breakfast.

"There's no Eva Cou in our system."

"It's Eva Eaton!" I say my name loudly, and Christian pauses his work to blink. "My husband is Adam Eaton. I was in there a while ago. They said they'd call back when they had the results in and they haven't. It was only supposed to take a few days."

"Did they call your husband?" The girl asks, and I count to seventy-five. "Did you ask Adam?"

"I'm pretty sure my husband would have told me if they called," I practically growl, and I suddenly feel hot. The room heats up to a thousand degrees, and I feel like I might collapse into a pile of purple, lushly soft and oversized fabric. "Actually, can I talk to Arlene?"

"She's out of the office today. Oh, wait. Hold on. It says here, oh it says they lost the test results. One of the nurses dropped the vials and the lid popped open and, oh it looks like Rylan stepped in the blood and tracked it down the hallway. My apologies. Someone should have called you to come back to have the test done again." To her credit, whoever this nurse is, she sounds truly apologetic. "I'm so sorry. It looks like they did try to call someone, but they called…. oh, they called Everly Coulter. That's probably why she came down here the other day."

"Wonderful," I answer flatly.

Christian snickers, and he shortens the length on the dress. He keeps pinning away, making it a length I can walk in.

"You can come by any time and we'll redo the procedure. I'll put a note on the account so you don't have to wait." She clacks away, and I shake my head. That's a bad idea, because I find myself hot and dizzy, and I force myself to thank her.

The room tilts and I wobble to the side.

"They're the worst. I went down there one time because I stabbed myself with a sewing needle, and it went so deep and then turned red and I swore it was infected, and they made me wait forever. Something about someone with a broken leg ahead of me, and Arlene was running behind and… Eva, are you okay?"

Christian stares at me, and I woozily nod.

"I forgot to eat breakfast," I mutter, and it's the last thing I hear.

The next time I open my eyes, Adam is there, and so is half the Dauntless medical staff.

* * *

"Did you really forget to eat breakfast? Are you not feeling well?" My mother's stare is curious, but not as curious as Everett's. He eyes my apartment wildly, trying to reach out and grasp for anything in his wingspan. It's pretty comical, since he's still an infant, but he tries. "Eva, are you sick?"

"I'm fine. I just got really hot when I was there," I try to explain, but it's fairly useless.

My parents showed up not too long ago. My father and Adam are off talking by the door, and my mother and Everett are rifling through the cabinets looking for something. I sit at the dining room table, and my mother groans when she doesn't find what she's looking for.

"Eric, I'll just order something! There's nothing in here I can cook." She bounces Everett up higher, and he grabs a hold of her hair.

"Everly, there's nothing you can cook anyway," my father calls back, but it's good natured. "I'll have Quinten bring her lunch. And dinner." He throws us both a dark look, and the stress on his face is evident. "Eva, do you want me to order groceries? I know I've been busy. Did I forget to meet you for breakfast? Did we have plans?"

"No! I'm fine. I swear. I just got really hot and Christian was hemming the dress and I was on the phone and I guess I passed out. It could happen to anyone," I point out, and my mother relents somewhat.

"That's true. It is really hot down there. Christian has been saying the heat is malfunctioning for weeks now," she agrees, and there's a moment of hope that they'll all leave. Even Zander had come by, surprisingly alone, and he brought me a muffin. "Okay, well I'll order lunch for Eva and Adam, and I'll order lunch for us to eat at home. I don't want Everett to miss his nap."

"Eva, are you sure you're alright? Arlene said she'll come up here and do the bloodwork." My father's stare finds me, curled up on the dining room chair, and I shake my head. Not only had I refused to go down to the infirmary, I was so mortified that I begged Adam to take me back home. He did, but he'd already called my father when he heard what happened, and they showed up as well.

I mostly just wanted to eat my lunch and go lie down.

"I swear, I'm fine. I feel great. I just skipped breakfast and I shouldn't have." I pull my feet up closer, feeling oddly defensive. I'd changed the minute I'd gotten home, pulling on Adam's shirt and a pair of his boxers, and the only thing I wanted was to retreat into our bedroom. "I'll eat lunch and dinner. And dessert. Just promise me the whole faction won't know about this. I don't want everyone hearing that I passed out while getting my dress altered."

My father and Adam exchange a look, and I have a feeling Christian really enjoyed having a little excitement in his day.

"Okay, then I'm staying home until everyone forgets about this," I announce, and no one believes me.

Adam and my father return to discussing something, my mother calls Quinten, and the only one who acknowledges me is Everett. He narrows his grey eyes in pure disbelief, all while chewing on my mother's hair. He squeals when she tries to move it out of his mouth, and ultimately, gives up and lets him drool all over it.

I sigh, and I sigh even harder when my phone lights up, and a dozen messages come in, one after another, asking what happened.

The last one I get is from Arlene, profusely apologizing for the infirmary mishap, and asking if I'd please come see her.

* * *

"Are you really okay?"

Adam's question is paired with his fingers trailing up my ribs. He moves slowly, pressing one by one, until I nod. My head is on his bare chest, beneath his sternum, and my arm is thrown over him. A few minutes ago, he'd been dragging his fingers through my hair. I was nearly asleep, lulled by his slow breathing and the feeling of his nails scraping my scalp, and I startled when he started talking.

I had thought he was engrossed in the show he was watching –a standoff against a cult that doesn't look like it's going to end well –but he's clearly not.

"I just…I was really worried. Christian called me freaking out and then I got there and you were sort of out of it."

His voice is even, but slightly tense. I lift my head away from him, and I'm met with dark blue eyes blinking in pure concern.

I had been out of it. I'd opened my eyes to him next to me, frantically touching my face and pressing his palm to my forehead.

"I don't want anything to happen to you. Did you really not eat breakfast?" Adam stares up at me, waiting for me to nod, and I chew on my lip. "Eva?"

"I promise you, it was nothing. I just… I was running late and I hate the dress and Kat loves it. Then I called the infirmary and everything was lost and they said they called my mom on accident and…" I stop because he reaches up to touch my face, and I really hope he understands my next words. "I think I'm secretly jealous that Kat and Zander are getting married and no one cares. I mean, people care, but they…you know…"

I stop at his kind stare, and I have a feeling he thinks I'm insane.

"Never mind."

"No!" His eyes widen, and he pulls me closer. "I get it. They're important here but they're not…as important. Everyone knows who you are and they know who I am. And the fact that we're together is…. it's interesting to a lot of people. I understand."

"Do you know where they're getting married?" I stare at Adam's eyes, blue and bright, and he grins.

His fingers return to pressing on my side, one by one, and his nod is slow.

"You'll love it."

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright?"

My father adjusts his tie with all the enthusiasm of someone being murdered. He exhales in pure annoyance as Forrest sneaks past him with his arms full of flowers. He grins cheekily, pausing by Willow so she can take a bunch, and then me. He offers me one, and I take it with all the enthusiasm of Eric Coulter, dragged to Amity for his nephew's wedding.

"I'm fine. I'm just…ready to get started."

We both look at the rows of people waiting, and I can't think of a better place for Zander to marry a girl from Dauntless. Actually, I can think of several. So could Adam. So could my mother. Even she looked confused when Zander dropped off the invitations, and his only explanation was his father lived in Amity, and it was the first place Zander had slept with Kat.

We all tried not to look at each other when he announced the last part, and I expected Kat to look horrified. She didn't. She smiled at Zander in the most lovesick way, and this was how I wound up in the now fitted dress, a pair of heels impractical for walking anywhere in Amity, beneath rows of lights and flowers and plenty of bright colors.

There is no theme to the wedding, other than wedding, and the only representation of Dauntless is the people. Adam's parents are seated by my mom, helping her keep Everett entertained. Our friends are here, looking around in total confusion as Zander's friends from Amity join him at the very front of the rows, along with a couple of high ranking patrol leaders. Karl and his family take up an entire row. Arlene is here, looking out of place as she inspects a paper lantern, muttering it'll probably catch fire before the ceremony is over, and so is Quinten. His wife is not, but his kids are with him, and I vaguely recall someone saying she's staying home with their new baby.

Rylan and Christina are here, too, in the very front, talking to Zander while he waves as half of Amity shows up. Jason and Meghan appear, and so does Elijah. They take seats by my mother, and he and Everett immediately begin staring at each other. They've started hanging out while my mother and Meghan spend time together, and they'd become baby friends.

It is cute.

It's even cuter when Everett stares at Elyse and she waves at him, offering him her pacifier from over Charlotte's shoulder. Everett takes it, then promptly throws it on the ground.

"I'm going to go sit with your mother. Is Kat's…father here or is he supposed to be?" My dad looks around in strange concern, and he only stops frowning when Kat's father does appear. He waves a quick hello, and he's stopped by Harrison, questioning him to see if he's armed before he can go meet Kat.

"That's him, so I'll see you in a bit." I reach out to hug him, and I feel him glance down in confusion. I hold on tightly, his jacket cold and stiff, and he hugs me back in a way that tells me he's reconsidering going to sit down. "I'm fine, I promise. I just…I want you to know you were a really good dad. Like the absolute best. I don't think I could have asked for better."

"Eva…" he says my name threateningly, and a group from Amity walk by, greeting him cheerfully. He snaps back a hello, then turns his attention back to me.

"I wanted to tell you this. I am really lucky to have you."

"Is this because you turn nineteen in a few weeks?" My father's demand is low and rough, and his hand moves to touch my head. "Evangelina Coulter…"

"Eaton," I correct him, laughing when he lets out a huff of annoyance.

"I would normally refuse to say it, but I like Adam, so…." He trails off, and his eyes find mine. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"Just that I love you. And um…you'll be around for a while, right? You don't go out and patrol anymore? Where someone could shoot you? You just work at your desk all day and you're not super old?"

"No, I'm not super old. At least not according to everyone but your mother," my father looks at me like I'm insane, but before he can question me further, he's called to the side. "Did Rylan put you up to this? You know what? I'll be right back in a few minutes. I think you might have hit your head trying to get the dress on."

"Bye. I love you."

I let go right when he does, and he throws me a strange look before he stomps off to go find my mom. I step right back into someone, and I know it's Adam. I know it's him because he smells really good, and his arms immediately wrap around me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He presses a quick kiss to my cheek, and he's warm and solid as I lean back. His suit is nice, fancier than I would have imagined Zander would ask him to wear, and I'd helped him fix his tie before we left. His arms wrap around me tighter, and one of his hands moves lower to steady me.

"They're almost ready. I just saw Willow and she said Kat is heading this way." Adam informs me, and I watch as the crowd seems to double in size out of nowhere. I swallow nervously, and Adam nudges my temple. We're both silent as everyone slowly takes their seats, and eventually, it's standing room only.

"Did you tell your dad? I saw you talking to him. I thought maybe you decided he should know."

"Not yet," I shake my head, and I wish the wedding wasn't about to start. I want to stay here, right like this, frozen in time as Adam holds onto me. "I was thinking maybe we should tell everyone tonight."

"Sounds good to me."

Adam hums the answer against my hair, and he doesn't pull away, not even when Aja yells his name or Gunner loudly yells he can see Kat walking toward us. We should be lining up because we're all in the wedding; Adam is standing up with Zander, and I'm standing up with Kat.

In a few minutes, Rachel and Pink and I will walk down the aisle, and the wedding will be well on its way. The ceremony isn't scheduled to be very long, but I'm sure it'll be entertaining, and there's the promise of cake and ice cream when it's all over.

All in all, it's not a bad way to spend one of the last few warm days, especially not when Adam's hand moves lower, pressing over my stomach. His fingers spread wide, possessively, and I'd told him only a few days ago. He accepted it with all the grace and hope in the world. I had the sneaking suspicion he already assumed, but he smiled, and he looked not at all bothered that we'd be fulfilling a repeatedly told prophecy.

I never did go get the blood work redone, but it wasn't hard to figure out. The tipping point came when I was so tired I slept through my alarm, and I realized I wasn't just run down from working. I told Adam while we were in bed, my head on his chest and my fingers through his, and I couldn't think of a better way for him to learn he'd really have the family he'd hoped for.

It isn't because his own family is terrible these days.

He and his father are good.

Things are so different now; the stress of Four thinking Adam was seconds away from making a mistake and trying to correct him are long gone, and he trusts him enough to encourage Adam to become a leader in Dauntless. Adam's mother is happy, having spent years as a buffer between them, and every time she sees me, she looks thankful.

I can just imagine the look on her face when she finds out she'll have a grandchild. A year ago, the idea would have been unfathomable.

"I was thinking maybe not. Maybe we keep this quiet a little longer. Just between you and me, but…" I pause, and I move my hand over Adam's. My father and Four turn around at the exact same time, both of them looking at me, and their expressions change at the exact same moment.

Their eyes widen, and they both freeze in place. Beside them, Tris and my mom crack up over Everett demanding Tris hold him, and he immediately takes her necklace in his mouth. They miss my father and Four, looking like mirror images of each other as they figure out they'll soon have a grandchild, and I can see the silent battle begin over who will be the better, faster, stronger, cooler, and ultimate grandfather.

Both are stunned.

My father's jaw is slack, but he suddenly realizes why I was asking if he was staying in his office. Four looks the same. His fingers press into the back of the chair, and his eyes move from me, to Adam, then back to Adam's hand.

Behind them, Rylan's eyes light up in triumph when he, too, figures out what's going on. He points to himself, exaggeratingly mouthing ULTIMATE GODFATHER, and he winks. Even Jason turns, and his eyes widen as he frantically looks over at Four and my father.

Adam's fingers tighten, and I shake my head.

"I think it's too late now," Adam laughs, and neither of us move, not even when Kat and Zander rush to the middle of the aisle with a grin, and they announce there is no need for a wedding, because they eloped in Candor a month ago but they appreciate everyone coming.

My father's murderous look is mirrored by almost everyone, but it takes the attention off Adam and me as he takes off after them, threatening to make Zander work every single weekend for the next six years for making him come here on his day off.

* * *

Beneath bright lights, she blinks her eyes shut, and scrunches her face up.

It's temporary. Someone lowers them, and when she opens them up at me, she looks just like Adam.

Out of everything I've experienced in my life, giving birth might be the most traumatic. Through a blur of tears, a labor so intense I'd thrown up more times than I could count, and one nightmare moment when I was sure I wouldn't survive giving birth, our daughter was finally born in Erudite, at six in the morning.

I barely remembered any of it.

All I know is Camille was there, coaxing and guiding me with what to do, and my own parents were scrambling to make it in time. Adam's parents drove with them, and I had been taken to Erudite when my routine appointment in Dauntless took a strange turn. My blood pressure rose, the baby's dropped, and the next thing I knew, I was in Erudite while Adam frantically called everyone.

Fortunately, I was in good hands.

Camille and a team I didn't know helped me, and they explained that what was going on was absolutely normal. The nurse in Dauntless realized I was further along than I thought I was, and my labor wasn't any sort of practice labor, but the real deal. By the time I got to Erudite, it was too late for pain medication, too late for anything but telling Camille I changed my mind. A few pushes later, I was holding a baby so small I wasn't sure she was real.

She was.

She had Adam's blue eyes and dark hair, and my horrified expression. She screamed bloody murder when they washed her off, and someone combed her hair and put a tiny ID bracelet on her. I got a matching one, and so did Adam. Her pajamas were pink, gifted by Camille and put on her while someone helped me sit up, and they were too big. My daughter is little, but loud, and when she protested being swaddled in the blanket, I suddenly knew how my mother must have felt when she had me.

I couldn't explain the absolute fierce desire to protect her from the world.

She wasn't up against much, at least not now.

She's sound asleep on Adam's chest, and I'm half asleep beside her. His fingers are slipping through my hair as he rubs my temples, and he tells me he's proud of me. His voice is low, strangled with every emotion possible. He holds both of us close, and in the distance, there is the faint yelling of our fathers, each desperate to get to us first. I hear a crash and a bang, and one of them, presumably my father, calls the other a moron.

"I'll tell them to give you a minute. They can wait."

Camille's words are quiet, and she returns only to pull the thick hospital blanket over all of us. She then leans in and kisses my head, then Adam's, and she looks secretly smug to have been the one to deliver her own great grandchild. She looks even smugger when Daniel's voice echoes in the hallway, and three grown men loudly argue over who gets to see the baby first. Someone yells at them all to be quiet, and then they apologize when they realize they've insulted their head brain surgeon and two leaders from Dauntless.

None of them quiet down until someone threatens to call security and my father loudly informs them he _is_ security.

"She has no idea what's in store. They're never going to put her down. Any of them," Adam mumbles, and he yawns as Camille dims the lights and slips out the door. "I love you, Eva. Thank you. Thank you for marrying me and thank you for her. You have no idea…I'll keep you both safe, forever. I promise."

I smile, too tired to move, and too happy to lift my head to tell him to go to sleep. He's a little delirious, but I don't care. He's telling the truth, words spoken from deep within, and he means every single exhausted one.

I tell him I love him, too, more than ever, and I fall asleep on his chest, right next to our daughter.

When I do wake up, hours later as the baby begins to fuss and the room is filled with flowers and balloons, I realize how lucky I am.

My father and Four sit side by side, both asleep, reclined back with their feet propped up on a chair in front of them. My guess is they refused to leave, and before they could cause a scene, Camille let them stay if they promised to be quiet.

And once quiet, they fell asleep.

The baby lets out a tiny snuffling sound, and her eyes open. I sit up carefully, picking her up from Adam's chest, and I smile when she looks up at me. I figure I can feed her and change her before they wake up, because once they do, it'll be a fight to the death over who is the number one grandfather.

She makes a noise of protest, reminding me she expects her demands to be met immediately, and I touch her dark hair.

"You ready to meet your grandpas?"

She blinks, eyes so blue they appear endless, and I hope she knows she's just as lucky as I am.

Maybe more.


End file.
